How It Should Have Been
by ficwriterjet
Summary: This is my take on what should have happened in season 4 between Angel and Connor. It's a long series that I've been working on for a while, and isn't finished. WARNING: M/M spanking of an adult.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: 

This story starts at the end of the first episode of the fourth season of Angel. The episode is called, 'Deep Down'. In that episode Angel is rescued from the bottom of the ocean where Connor had put him. When he gets home Angel gives Connor a speech about how the world is harsh, but that they should try to make it better. Then he ends his speech with 'I love you Connor, now get out of my house.' My story starts with a different ending statement from Angel. Written August 2003

How it Should Have Been Chapter 1

Angel ended his lecture with, "I love you Connor, but you're going to have to pay for what you've done. I'm tired, and I need to rest for a day, so you're going to spend the rest of the night and all of tomorrow in your room. Then, tomorrow night we'll talk about how you're going to make amends for the things you've done."

Connor didn't say anything, but started to head out of the room. Just as he got to the door, Angel said, "Oh, and Connor, if you aren't in your room when I come to talk to you, I'll find you, and bring you back home. You can't run away from your problems. You have to face them."

Connor didn't even look back; he just continued walking out of the office, and up to his room.

Gunn and Fred ran to Angel as he slipped down towards the floor. Angel said, "All that talking really wears you out. We have to find Cordy."

Fred said, "We've been trying to find both of you all summer, but we don't have any leads on Cordy. It's like she just disappeared."

Gunn said, "You know Connor is probably miles away by now don't you?"

Angel looked up at Gunn and said, "I know, but this way I'll have a couple of days to get stronger before I have to deal with him. I'm so weak right now; he probably could beat me in a fight. I need blood."

Gunn went out to buy Angel some blood, while Angel and Fred went over what had been going on for the past couple of months.

Upstairs Connor was no where to be found.

The next evening after Angel had had a good day's sleep he felt much better, but not quite up to par. He thought he should have all his strength back after one more day with lots of relaxing and lots of blood. He was worried about where Connor was and he wanted to go find him, but he was more worried about finding him and not having the strength to bring him home. Fred, Gunn and Angel spent the night trying to get in touch with various mystical contacts to ask them about Cordy. They also spent quite a bit of time talking about Connor, and what had been going on with him for the past two months. Angel was glad Connor had at least been a little helpful with fighting the bad guys, but he didn't like that Connor had spent the past two months lying his ass off to the people who were taking care of him.

The following evening Angel felt like he was back to normal, and he decided it was time to go find his son. He walked into the lobby to find Fred and Gunn. They were both at the counter looking in some books. Angel said, "Hey guys, thanks for keeping things quiet so I could get some sleep."

"No problem man." Said Gunn.

"I want to ask you both a favor."

Fred said, "Sure Angel."

"I feel back to normal today, and I need to go find Connor. I would really appreciate it if the two of you would go get a real hotel room for the night."

Fred started to say something, but was interrupted by Gunn who said, "Are you sure you don't want some help? He's pretty strong, and he hates you."

"Thanks for the offer Gunn, but I don't think so. I don't want him to try to hurt either of you so he can get away from me. Besides, I have a feeling things are going to get really ugly tonight and I would rather you both not see it."

Fred said, "Okay Angel, but if you need us just give us a call, and we'll come running."

"Thanks Fred. It means a lot to me that you both took care of Connor while I was gone, and I know he has lied to you both for the past month, so he probably isn't your favorite person right now, but I hope you'll give him a second chance."

Gunn nodded and said, "I think with you here to help control him, he could turn out to be an okay kid."

After Fred and Gunn left Angel went to the rooftops to start his search. He wasn't sure if Connor would be trying to hide, or if he would just be out in the open, so he decided to try the easy option first.

He couldn't believe how easy it was to find Connor. Connor was just walking down a street fairly close to the hotel. Angel followed him for a couple of hours, and came to the conclusion that Connor was just walking around aimlessly. He decided the time had come, so he jumped down from the roof, and landed in front of Connor. He said, "I thought I told you to stay in your room."

Connor had jumped back a bit when Angel landed in front of him, but now he was facing him with a look of hatred. He said, "No one want's me there especially after…you know, and you can't make me do anything anyway."

Angel raised an eyebrow and said, "Oh really?" 

Connor centered his weight getting ready for the fight, "Come on Dad (he said with a sneer), lets see what you've got."

Angel crossed his arms and said, "We're not going to fight any more."

Connor looked at Angel like he was insane. Then he said, "Good, then leave me alone."

Angel laughed a little and said, "I can't leave you alone Connor, I love you, and I want what's best for you, even if you don't want that for yourself."

Connor got mad and took a swing at Angel's face. Angel grabbed Connor's fist and brought it up behind Connor's back as he turned Connor to face away from him. He said, "Weren't you listening to me son, I said we're not going to be fighting any more."

Connor snarled "Let me go! I hate you!"

"We need to take this discussion to the hotel." With that statement Angel lifted Connor, and tossed him over his shoulder. He held his legs with one arm, and he reached behind his back to grab both of Connor's wrists in his hand.

Connor kept on yelling at Angel the whole way back to the hotel, but Angel just ignored the tantrum. Once they were in the hotel he dumped Connor on the little round couch in the center of the lobby. Connor leapt up to run out, but Angel caught his wrist and shoved it behind his back again until Connor quit trying to get away. Once Connor was a little more still and quiet Angel said, "I know you think you hate me Connor, but I want you to get to know me, so you can make that decision based on the facts, and not on what you've been told by Holtz. So here's how it's going to work. You're going to stay here at the hotel with all of us for one full year. You're going to listen to me and do what you're told until the year is up. After that, if you want to leave I won't stop you. If however you try to leave before the year is up, I'll come find you and bring you home. Do you understand what I'm telling you Connor?"

Connor couldn't believe the audacity of the monster and said, "You can't keep me here. Next time I leave, I'll hide and make sure you can't find me."

"You can try, but I will find you. I should also warn you that there will be consequences for running off, and that brings me to what's gonna happen next. I told you to stay in your room and you didn't. You put me in a box and sent me to the bottom of the ocean, and then you spent the last two months lying to Fred and Gunn about it. I don't know if or how Holtz punished you, but this is how it is going to be while you live with me."

Angel noticed that Connor flinched and paled when he had said punished. He decided that conversation could wait for later, and he sat down on the round couch and pulled Connor across his knees. He started spanking Connor fast and hard. Connor grunted and tried to get away. Angel tightened his grip around Connor's waste and kept spanking.

Soon Connor quit struggling and kept quiet. He tried not to laugh at this 'punishment'. Holtz had never repeatedly hit his butt, but he thought it was pretty mild compared to the things Holtz did do. He decided he could wait until Angelus was done hitting him, and then he would run off again.

Angel thought the lack of response meant he wasn't really getting through to Connor, so he increased his strength a little. The first swat with more strength behind it brought out another grunt and some wiggling.

After a couple of minutes Connor thought, 'Okay, maybe mild isn't the right word for this. Who does Angelus think he is anyway? I know he thinks he's my father, but he wasn't there when I was growing up. What a monster.'

Connor was getting more and more angry, so he bit Angel on the leg. To Connor's amazement Angel didn't make any noise or react at all, he just kept on spanking him. Then Angel said, "I see that you are still having trouble with the 'no more fighting' thing, so let's see if this helps you to remember."

Before Connor knew what was happening, Angel had his pants and underwear down around his knees, and he resumed spanking him. This made Connor even angrier, and it was starting to really hurt. He started shouting, "Stop it you monster! You have no right to do this. It won't change anything. I still hate you Angelus."

Angel kept spanking and let out a small laugh before he said, "Angelus would have eaten you, or killed you the first time he met you. I'm Angel, your father, and that gives me all the right I need. I hope this will eventually change your behavior. It's okay with me if you hate me, as long as you do what I tell you to do. And even if you hate me I'll still love you."

Now all Connor could think about was the pain and how he wanted it to stop, but he wouldn't beg the monster. He tried not to, but eventually he started to cry quietly. Angel could smell the tears and gave Connor six more swats before he stopped. He noticed that Connor's butt was a very dark red, but there were no bruises. He knew if he had hit a normal human that hard, that they would have been very bruised. He kept a hold on Connor and said, "Okay son, were done. I'm gonna let you up, and we're going to talk, but I'm warning you that if you try to run out or fight with me, you'll end up over my knee again. Do you understand?"

Connor nodded his head.

Angel let him up and said, "Why don't you go to the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up while I order a pizza for you to eat."

Connor kept his head down and pulled up his clothes as he walked to the bathroom. He thought about climbing out the window, but he decided daylight would be the best time for an escape. As he washed his face he started quietly talking to himself. "You are the biggest waste of a human I have ever seen. How could you let Father down like that? Father would be so ashamed of me for being here in this house with the monster. For not killing him when I had the chance, and for crying. I'm so sorry Father. Please forgive me."

Angel had ordered pizza and drank a cup of blood while Connor was in the bathroom. He was about to go check to see if Connor was still there when the door opened. Angel said, "Glad to see you're still here. I really don't want to spank you again."

Connor looked surprised and said, "That was a spanking? Gunn said you would do that."

It was Angel's turn to look surprised and said, "Umm, well the pizza should be here in half an hour. Are you hungry?"

"I could eat."

"Good. While we're waiting, lets talk a little about how things are going to work while you're living here."

"Whatever."

"I don't know what kind of education you've had, so I'm going to have Wesley test you."

"I thought you hated him."

"I thought I did too, but he did rescue me from the bottom of the ocean, and he is a very good teacher. After we find out where you are educationally, we'll all take turns during the day tutoring you."

"Fred said she was going to try and sign me up for school next month."

Angel laughed and said, "Well in this dimension all your paperwork says you're about 6 months old, you haven't had any of your shots, and I have the feeling you don't play well with others. So I think school is out for now. Maybe when the year is up we can see about getting some fake papers and getting you into college depending on how the tests turn out."

"I won't be here when the year is up. I won't even be here tomorrow."

"Connor, if you run I will find you and bring you home. I thought we went over this."

Connor remained silent. Angel sighed and continued with "So during the day you'll have various tutoring sessions with each of us for a couple of hours. When we get a case you'll be part of the team, and you can be a big help to us fighting various bad guys, but there will be no more running off on your own to fight. You're the youngest member of the team, and most inexperienced with this world, so you will listen to what everyone tells you. That means when Fred, Gunn, Wesley, or I tell you to do something in a fight, you do it with no arguing, and no questions asked."

Connor sneered and said; "Gunn and Fred couldn't fight their way out of a box."

Angel got a little mad and said, "I didn't ask for your opinion on the subject, and it is not valued or wanted. They are both good fighters, and I can trust them to watch my back unlike you."

Connor looked down and didn't say anything. Angel said, "Let's see, I went over being on the team, and being tutored, so the next thing to go over is that for the next two months you'll be helping Gunn for one hour a day, and helping Fred for one hour a day. You'll have to do whatever they ask you to do no matter how much you may hate it. This will hopefully start to make up for all the lying you've done to them."

Angel could tell this was going to be hard for Connor because his hands fisted at his sides, and he could tell Connor wanted to lash out at something. Angel decided it was time for some tension release. He said, "Connor, have you used the punching bag downstairs yet?"

Connor nodded. Angel said, "Let's go down and you can show me if you know how to use it while we wait for the pizza."

Connor said, "Of course I know how to use it, all you do is punch the stupid bag!"

Angel had turned to walk down stairs, and he smiled when he heard Connor following him. He knew goading him into using it was the way to do it.

Connor and Angel both felt better after Connor had punched the punching bag for about fifteen minutes. Angel had to admit that Connor was good at it. They heard the upstairs door open and Angel went to pay for the pizza while Connor wiped the sweat off himself. While Connor was eating Angel said, "Okay Connor I just want to make sure we're very clear on a couple of things. First there is no more running away, or going off on your own to fight something. Second there will be no physical fighting with anyone who lives in this hotel. Third there will be no lying to anyone who lives in this hotel. Fourth and last, you will do what you're told to do by anyone who lives in this hotel. Those are the four rules you'll be living with for the next year, and if you don't follow them, I will be spanking you. I hope you understand, and that you can eventually be happy here with us."

Connor kept eating and said with a full mouth. "I will never be happy living with you."

Angel sighed and said, "Once your done eating you can do whatever you like as long as you stay in the hotel and don't cause any damage. I'm going to make some calls. Come get me if you need something."

Angel spent the next hour talking to Wesley over the phone and repairing their friendship. Connor spent the hour playing with his game boy and watching some TV. When Angel came out of his office he was almost surprised to still see Connor there, but he took it as a good sign. He said, "I'm not sure when you usually go to bed, but it's almost 3am now, and I'm going to bed."

Connor shrugged his shoulders and continued to watch TV. Angel came over and sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug. Connor started to struggle immediately, and Angel said, "You might as well get used to it Connor, because I'm going to do it a lot."

Connor doubled his efforts to get away while Angel just held onto him. Connor was worn out after ten minutes of struggling and just sat there and let Angel hug him. Angel felt Conner relax, so he made the hug more gentle and rubbed his back. Then he got up and said, "Good night son. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon when I get up."

Connor said nothing but thought 'No you won't.'

Connor waited until the sun was shining to sneak out of the hotel. No one was home yet, so he just walked out the front door and started to think about what he knew of the city, and where he could hide.


	2. Chapter 2

How it Should Have Been Chapter 2

Fred and Gunn arrived home at the hotel around 10am. They were both quite happy and relaxed. The night away together had been good for them. Fred saw that no one was there and she said, "I'm gonna go see if Connor is in his room."

Gunn nodded and started to look through the paper. Fred came back down and said, "I guess Angel hasn't found him yet."

An hour later Angel came into the lobby and smiled at Fred. He said, "How was your evening?'

Fred smiled back and said, "It was just wonderful. Thanks for suggesting it. Do you want us to go away again tonight in case you find him?" 

Angel looked at her for a second and then said, "I did find him. Isn't he here?"

Fred lost the smile and said, "Um, I don't think so Angel. We got home about an hour ago, and I went to check his room. It was empty and the bed hadn't been slept in."

Angel shook his head and said, "Great. I need something to drink." With that he went to warm up some blood in the microwave.

Gunn looked up from the sword he was cleaning and said, "What happened last night?"

Angel went over it with them. He thought about leaving the spanking out of the explanation, but he decided they would figure it out soon enough. At least by telling them now they would have time to assimilate the information before they heard it happening.

Gunn thought nothing of it and just nodded. Fred looked surprised, but didn't say anything about it. Angel went over the four rules with them, so they would know what to expect. He told them about Connor working for each of them for an hour a day for the next two months. He then told them to expect Wesley to be coming by around 3pm. He was going to be testing Connor to see how much Holtz had taught him, and how much he still needed to learn to make his way in this dimension. Fred said, "I can't believe you are going to let Wesley anywhere near Connor."

Angel said, "He found me, and saved me. I guess that kind of makes us even. I talked to him for a long time last night, and we came to a truce. I hope you can both still work with him, because he does have the most experience teaching kids."

Gunn said, "Wesley's okay with me, as long as he doesn't think he's still in charge."

Fred thought about it for a couple of seconds and said, "I'll give it a try."

Angel nodded and said, "You guys are really great. Okay, I'm off to find Connor. If I'm not back by 5pm, tell Wesley to go home and we will try again tomorrow."

Gunn said, "It's light out Angel. How are you gonna find him?"

Angel smiled and said, "Well, last night he was out in the open. Now that he knows I'll be looking, I think he'll try for the sewers or some of the empty slum apartments. Lucky for me, I can be in both of those places without the sun getting on me. If he runs again after this time, I'll probably have to wait until it's dark."

Angel was about to go and said, "Hey guys, while you're waiting for me, could you get Wesley up to speed on Cordy and see if he has any suggestions?"

Fred nodded while she started to look through yet another book on disappearances of a mystical nature.

Across town, Connor was sleeping in the apartment building he had spent the night with Sunny in. He had tried the sewers first, but he had immediately smelled Angel everywhere he went. He didn't think Angel would look for him here, but eventually it didn't matter because he had to sleep, and he couldn't think of anywhere else to go. After spending an emotionally and physically draining night with Angel and getting no sleep, he practically passed out when he closed his eyes. He made sure he was in front of a window and in a patch of sun before he let himself sleep. Five hours later he was still asleep and the sun had moved so he was now in the shadows.

Angel found Connor with little effort. He could smell Connor in the sewers, but soon realized Connor would have smelled him there as well and left. He decided to try the slum apartments he could get to in the daylight next. First he tried the one he had found Connor in last time. He just stood and stared at Connor for a full half an hour before he did anything. He loved him so much, and it killed him that Connor hated him with such force. While Connor was sleeping he looked very peaceful, and almost sweet. Angel looked at his watch. It was one o'clock, and he knew he would have to get Conner up and moving. He knelt down next to Connor and shook his shoulder and said, "Time to wake up Connor."

Connor woke immediately and jumped up fast and ready to fight whatever had disturbed him. Angel was expecting it and stood back a few steps to see what Connor would do. Connor got his breathing and heart rate calmed down after he saw it was Angel and not something else.

Angel said, "Time to go home son, but first we'll have to deal with your running away again."

Connor glanced out the window looking for an escape route, but Angel was right in front of him and had grabbed his wrist before he could complete the thought of jumping out the window. Connor punched Angel in the stomach, but before he could get in a second punch Angel had turned him around with his hand behind his back. Angel said in a very calm voice, "And now we'll have to deal with the no fighting thing again."

Angel looked around and decided that the smelly couch would work. He dragged Connor over to it, sat down, and tossed him over his knees. He pulled down his pants with little effort while Connor yelled, "Nooo."

Angel was surprised to see no redness left on Connor's butt at all, and realized he must heal fast like he did. The bruise Connor had given him from biting his leg had been gone by morning. Angel started the spanking with some added strength like last night. Connor started grunting and squirming right away. As he was spanking, Angel said in a clam voice, "You will not run away, and you will not fight with me. I hope we don't have to go over this again any time soon."

Connor yelled, "I won't stay with you!"

"Then I guess this will be a daily routine."

Connor was pissed and bit Angel repeatedly all over his lower leg. Angel didn't stop the spanking or even acknowledge the pain. He just said, "I think I can keep this up longer than you can Connor. I was in hell for a long time, and I've been tortured by the best. The only thing you're accomplishing is making the spanking last longer for you."

Connor stopped biting but still struggled to get away. Eventually the pain was too much, and he started to cry. He hated himself for being weak in front of the monster. Angel paused and said, "We would be done now if you hadn't tired to fight me."

Angel gave Connor another thirty swats and then helped him to stand and put his pants back on. Connor was crying pretty hard, and Angel tried to hug him. Connor struggled, but only for a few seconds because he was worn out. Angel held him until he stopped crying. Angel stepped back but kept a hand on Connor's upper arm. He said, "Let's go home."

Angel turned and headed towards the basement and the sewer never letting Connor's arm out of his grip. Connor followed without much of a struggle at all.

They made it back to the hotel about an hour before Wesley was going to show up. To Connor's amazement Fred came up to him and hugged him when she saw him. She said, "I'm sorry I was so mad last time I saw you. I'm glad to see that you're all right."

Connor didn't know what to say. He thought she hated him now. He said, "Umm…It's okay Fred. I was mad too."

Gunn came over and held out his hand for Connor to shake. Connor was really thrown by this. He could almost see Fred forgiving him, but not Gunn too. He held out his hand and shook. Gunn pulled him into a hug too and said, "Good to have ya back you little trouble maker."

Connor looked confused and said, "No yelling?"

Gunn said, "Later kid. We can get to the yelling later."

Angel looked very pleased and said, "Good. Okay Connor, are you hungry for some breakfast?"

Fred laughed and said, "Connor is always hungry Angel. I'll make him some eggs."

Angel said, "Go ahead Connor, and after you're done eating you can spend an hour with Gunn doing whatever he asks you to do. Then Wesley will be here to give you some tests. After that we can all have lunch and go over what you know and don't know. Then you can spend your hour with Fred. After that you and I can talk a little about what the lesson plan will be for getting you up to speed on your education. Any questions?"

Connor thought food sounded really good, and he had kind of missed Fred and Gunn so he said, "No." And walked towards the kitchen.

Angel wondered if Connor knew that the schedule they all kept was odd, or if he thought having breakfast at 1pm, and lunch at 5pm was a normal thing for everyone.

After half an hour of Gunn yelling at him and telling him what bad choices he had made for the past two months Connor wanted to run again, but at the same time Connor thought it was comfortingly normal. Once Gunn had run out of things to yell about he had Connor clean all the weapons in the cabinet again even though it had just been done. Connor thought that was pretty crappy, but with Angel in the office looking at him every once in a while he kept his thoughts to himself.

Connor thought the testing with Wesley was almost worse than his time spent with Gunn. He had no idea what half the stuff was, and the other half was too simple. It was long and tedious, and he was more than ready for lunch when it was time. To his amazement Fred had gotten his favorite Chinese food for take out. He decided he had really missed Fred.

During lunch Wesley said, "Connor has quite an impressive education in some fields, and a surprising lack of knowledge in others. His reading and writing skills are quite good, and he has a very large vocabulary."

Gunn said, "That's a surprise. All I ever here Connor saying is 'When is dinner?' and 'I don't want to.'"

Gunn laughed at his own joke and Connor said, "Ha, ha." to his plate.

Wesley continued with, "He has simple math skills like adding and subtracting, but no division or multiplication, and the concept of algebra or any higher math is a foreign concept to him. He has a pretty good knowledge of world history up to about 1900, so he has quite a gap there. His knowledge of the supernatural is very extensive with an emphasis on vampires – no surprise there. His religious knowledge is limited to Christianity and it is….a bit skewed. His problem solving skills are quite good. He has no concept of Biology or Chemistry. He has some basic knowledge of money, which must be from living here for the past couple of months, but he doesn't know how much things should be worth, or how much people should get paid to do certain jobs. That's all the testing we've done."

Angel said, "Thanks Wes. Holtz did a better job than I thought he would. That's great."

Connor said, "My father was very smart. Of course he taught me well."

Everyone was silent for a few seconds. Angel said, "Holtz was a smart man, but he let his need for vengeance consume him, so I don't think that's the example you want to follow."

Connor yelled, "If he was consumed with vengeance it was your fault Angelus!"

Gunn started to say something but Angel held up his hand to stop him and said, "Yes it probably was Angelus' fault, but I'm not Angelus. Unfortunately I do remember all the things Angelus did, but I didn't do those things, he did."

"You disgust me."

Fred said in a disapproving voice, "Connor….."

Angel interrupted with, "No Fred. Connor can say what he likes as long as it's honest. I've had enough of him lying. If he's disgusted with me, that's just fine. I would rather hear it to my face than have him thinking about how much he hates me when I don't know about it."

Fred said, "But it's so disrespectful."

"I haven't earned his respect yet, we're just getting to know each other. All I'm looking for right now is obedience."

Connor said, "I'll never respect you. You're a monster."

"That's fine son. Finish eating, and you can spend an hour with Fred."

Connor looked at Fred who was not looking as happy as she was a few minutes ago. He thought about his hour with Gunn and wondered what Fred was going to make him do. He decided he should shut up until lunch was over.

After lunch Fred made Connor clean up all dishes. Then she got out some cleaning supplies and made Connor go from room to room in the hotel cleaning the bathrooms in all the empty rooms while she read a book. Connor was really glad when the hour was up, and he decided he had been wrong about missing Fred.

Soon, he was in the office with Angel. Angel saw him come in and said, "Shut the door please."

Connor shut it, and stood with his arms crossed staring at Angel who was sitting behind the desk. Angel asked, "So did you enjoy your hours with Gunn and Fred?"

"No."

"Good. It's a punishment after all. I've spent the past hour talking to Wesley, and we've come up with a tutoring plan for you. Why don't you sit down, and we'll go over it."

Connor rolled his eyes and thought 'What a waste of time. I won't even be here tomorrow.' He sat down and looked at the paper Angel handed him.

Angel said, "Each of us will tutor you for an hour a day. Fred will do math, Gunn will do current history and finances. Wes will be doing Biology and Chemistry, and I'll be doing religious studies."

Connor looked at him with disbelief, and Angel smiled and said, "The irony is not lost on me, but there is more than Christianity out there, and you should at least know about them so you can make your way in this dimension. I'm not going to tell you what to believe. I'm just going to be teaching you about what other people believe. You might be interested in some basic history of the various religions."

Connor looked at him suspiciously and said, "What do you believe?"

Angel sighed and said, "It's irrelevant to what I'll be teaching you, but when I was human I was a Catholic, and I guess to some extent I'm still a Christian. Now, getting back on track. Four hours of your day will be spent with the tutoring. You'll have a couple of hours a day spent with Gunn and Fred, and a couple of hours a day spent studying and doing the homework we give you. And I think you and I will spend an hour a day doing something together like practicing fighting, or talking about my past or your life. I think that's going to be a pretty full schedule for you. Then of course if we get a call, or a case, your other stuff will be put on hold so you can help us. Any questions?"

Connor shook his head. Angel said, "This will be a lot easier on everyone if you're here in the morning, and I don't have to go find you. Because if it takes me most of the day and night to find you, I'm still going to make you stay up and do all the things I've just gone over."

Connor said nothing and stared at the floor in front of his chair. Angel said, "Okay, enough of this. Let's go work out, and then I'll show you some Tibetan relaxation techniques."

In the middle of their work out Gunn called down, "We got a call."

Connor and Angel went to the lobby and saw Fred picking out a crossbow from the weapons cabinet. Gunn said, "Vampire nest on Third and Pine in an old warehouse. The contact said there were about fifteen of them."

Angel said, "Let's go." As he grabbed his sword and a couple of stakes.

Connor just stood there for a second while everyone headed to the door where Wesley was waiting. Angel turned and said, "Get a move on boy."

For some reason he couldn't explain, Connor had a very happy feeling of belonging when Angel said that, and even smiled a little as he grabbed a stake and headed after them towards the door.

An hour later everyone was in pretty good spirits when they got back. The vampires had all been killed, and no one was injured. Wesley said, "I'd say that was a good nights work done by all."

Angel nodded and said, "I second that opinion."

Wesley said, "Well, I have some stuff to do at home, so I'll say good night and see you all tomorrow afternoon."

Angel said, "Bye Wes. You know, if you want to move in here, you're welcome to."

Wesley looked at Angel for a minute and said, "Not now. Maybe in a few months I will. We'll see how things go."

Angel nodded and said, "Good night then."

After Wesley went home Angel and Connor went back downstairs to work on those relaxation techniques.

Later that night, after dinner Angel went out to meet a man who said he knew how to contact people in other dimensions. Fred brought a book to Connor and said, "I thought maybe you would want to read this for fun."

Connor looked at the book and said, "What do you mean for fun?"

Fred said, "It's fiction. It isn't a story about things that have really happened, it is just to read for enjoyment. I don't know why I didn't think about it before, but now that you'll be studying a lot, you might need a break with something just fun. Give it a try and see what you think. If 'Harry Potter' isn't something you like, we'll try something else next time. I'll take you to a book store, and you can pick something next time."

Connor looked skeptical but said, "Okay."

He went to bed early and took the book with him. He planned to get some sleep so he could wake up early and sneak out before everyone else was up. He started reading and found it fascinating that a person would write something just for other people to enjoy. He even liked the story, and was getting into it when there was a knock on the door. Angel came in and said, "I just wanted to say good night."

Connor was sitting on his bed reading and looked up long enough to say, "Okay. Good night."

Angel came over and sat down next to Connor and pulled him into a hug. Connor knew he shouldn't struggle because Angel was stronger than he was, but he hated it when Angel touched him, so he did try to get out of Angel's grip. After a couple of minutes he stopped and just let Angel hold him. Once Connor stopped struggling Angel said, "I was really proud of you today. You stayed here and did what you were told, and you were really good in the fight with the vampires."

Connor didn't say anything. Angel let Connor go and said, "Good night. I'll see you tomorrow – one way or another."

Connor glared at the shut door and after a minute tossed the book at it. He lay down and tried to fall asleep. He wanted to be fully rested for the next day.

Connor woke up about 9am before anyone else in the hotel, and climbed out his window and into the sunshine. He was going to see how far he could run in a day without getting tired. He had decided the more distance from the hotel the more likely it would be that Angel couldn't find him.


	3. Chapter 3

How it Should Have Been Chapter 3

Connor decided to try running north. He was able to run for three hours straight without needing a break. He knew he had put quite a bit of distance between himself and the hotel, and he was very pleased with himself. He didn't recognize the area any more, and he was out of the main part of the city. After running for so long he was hungry. He found a McDonalds restaurant and dug through the trash until he found something edible. Once he was full and rested he started to walk further north.

At the hotel Angel had just gotten back from checking out the sewers and the vacant apartments he could get to in the daylight. When he walked in the door Fred shook her head and said, "No luck here, how about you?" 

"Nothing. I couldn't smell him in the sewers at all. I think this time he is going to try to get farther away. Lucky for me, he doesn't have a car or know how to drive. How about Gunn?"

"He just called a few minutes ago. He's been to five of the eleven homeless shelters so far, but no luck."

Angel sighed and said, "I guess there isn't much else to do until it gets dark. We better call Wesley and tell him to skip today."

By 6pm Angel was making everyone nervous by pacing around the lobby, when Fred shouted, "Angel, come see this!"

Angel ran to see what the problem was. Fred pointed to the TV. There on the screen was a live news report. Fred had turned it up, and the reporter said, "For those of you who missed it, we're replaying the amazing rescue, which happened almost half an hour ago. Lucky for us, one of the people on the bridge had a home video camera, and was able to record this. We don't know who the boy is, or how to explain what he did."

The TV switched from the reporter to scratchy looking footage of a car half way off the side of a bridge. The car was rocking back and forth and was on the verge of going over the bridge. The camera zoomed in to reveal two children in the back seat of the car. One of the children was looking out the back waving trying to get someone to help. The camera zoomed back out to show some people from other cars getting out, and standing back from the teetering car. Then Connor was on screen walking towards the car from the south end of the bridge.

Angel, Gunn, and Fred were silent as they watched Connor go up to the car and try to open the side door so the kids could get out. The concrete of the bridge railing was blocking the door, so Conner went to the back of the car and started to pull it away from the railing. It moved about a foot, and then two other men come over to help pull. Soon the car was clear of the railing, and Connor went to try and open the door again. It wouldn't open, so he motioned for the kids to move to the other side of the car, and broke the glass with his foot. Then he pulled kids from the car window one at a time and handed them over to some of the other people who were standing around. Next he went to the driver's door and opened it. He pulled an unconscious woman out and lay her on the ground. There was no sound, but they could see him talking to one of the women standing by him. The woman got out a cell phone to make a call. Then Connor got up and continued walking north over the bridge.

The footage was over and the news reporter appeared on the screen. She was standing a few feet in front of the car with an ambulance and two police cars next to it. The reporter said, "There you have it folks. The two children are fine, and are with their father. The woman is still in critical condition, but is expected to make it. Anyone with information on who this young man is please call…."

Fred turned the volume down, and Angel said with a big grin, "That's my kid."

Gunn said, "I knew he was strong, but not that strong. Did you see him move that car by himself?"

Fred was looking at a map and said, "That bridge is about 90 miles from here."

Angel looked really amazed and said, "Strong and really fast. And it still won't be dark for about three hours."

Gunn said, "I can go try to get him."

Fred said, "We could both go, and try to convince him to come back."

Angel shook his head and said, "He won't come willingly, and you two can't force him unless you disable him somehow like a tranquilizer or the tazer gun again. It'll take a couple of hours to get to where he was and start tracking him, so let's take my car and I'll ride in the trunk until it gets dark."

Gunn nodded and said, "Sound like a good plan. Hey Fred, is there a way to get to the other side of that bridge that won't be backed up with traffic?"

Soon they had a plan of action, and they all got in the car to try and find Connor.

Once it had been dark for about an hour, Connor decided to eat something, and start looking for a place to spend the night. He was very pleased with how far he had gotten. He was sure Angel wouldn't be able to find him this time. He found a Taco Bell, and dug through the trash for dinner. As he sat eating on the sidewalk, he thought about how strange this dimension was. 'Why do people toss out edible food, and lots of it? Why won't people help each other?' He knew when he arrived at the bridge that there had been people standing around for at least five minutes, and no one had even tried to help. 'Angel is right about things being cruel and harsh in this dimension, but they were worse in Quor-toth. Maybe it just seems worse here, because everything around me like the TV and ads tell me life should be so much better than it is. Maybe it's the expectations that make it so bad here.'

Connor was interrupted in his thoughts to see Angel's car pull up to the curb in front of him. He was so surprised it took him a few seconds to react. By the time he jumped up and ran, Angel was already out of the car and running after him. He only made it half a block before Angel caught him and tossed him over his shoulder. Connor thought about pounding Angel on the back to try and get him to drop him, but as he raised a fist he heard Angel say, "No fighting Connor."

Connor held his fist up for a few seconds thinking about it. Then he remembered what happened yesterday afternoon in the vacant apartment, and let his arm drop and dangle with the other arm down Angel's back. Once they were back to the car Angel put Connor down in front of him and said in a calm but stern voice, "Now you're going to get in the car, and be good while we drive home."

Connor looked around him for a place to run, or a weapon, but he didn't see anything. He looked into the car and was truly surprised again to see Fred sitting in the back. She waved and then turned to the front and said, "Hey Charles, why don't you ride back here with me."

Gunn got out of the passenger seat, and looked at Connor. Connor didn't think Gunn looked very happy, and he could hear the lecture already. Gunn said, "Glad you're okay kid." and then he smacked the back of Connor's head as he got into the back seat with Fred.

Connor looked at Angel again, and Angel pointed to the passenger seat and said, "Get your ass in the car."

Connor saw no way out of it, so he got in the car. As he was getting in Angel gave him a full force smack on his butt. Connor said, "Ahh!" as he fell into the seat.

Angel locked and closed the door and walked around to the driver's side. Connor had tried the door the second it closed, but it wouldn't open or unlock. Angel smiled at him and said, "Child proof locks."

Connor decided not to say anything else. He looked out the window and pouted while he squirmed hoping his butt would stop stinging quickly.

They drove in silence for the next half an hour, and then Connor couldn't contain himself any more. He said in a demanding voice, "How did you find me?"

Angel smiled and said, "I saw you on TV."

"I don't understand."

Fred said, "Someone on the bridge had a camera, and gave the footage of you saving those people to the media."

Connor groaned and thought 'Well there's a reason not to help others. But I don't think I could have just walked by even if it does mean I got caught. There's always tomorrow to run again.'

Angel said, "I would have found you anyway, it just might have taken longer. By the way, you did a really good thing on that bridge, and I'm proud of you."

Gunn said, "Me too Connor. You did the right thing."

Fred added, "It was very impressive."

Connor didn't know what to say, but what came out was, "I guess."

Connor thought, 'When was the last time Gunn told me I did the RIGHT thing. Gunn's always telling me I did the wrong thing. I don't care if Angel's proud of me or not.' But as he thought that he was smiling and feeling happy.

Soon they pulled up to a hospital. Connor said, "Why are we here?"

Angel said, "There's someone here who wants to talk to you, and you're going to go with me and be nice."

Connor rolled his eyes and waited for Angel to come around and unlock his door for him. Angel took him by the upper arm as soon as he got out of the car. Connor said, "I can walk by myself." as he tried to pull out of Angel's grip.

Angel said, "If you promise me you won't try to run until we get back in the car, I'll let you walk by yourself."

Connor thought about it. He didn't take promises lightly. He said, "Okay I promise."

Angel let go and said, "If you try to run now that you've promised me you wouldn't, I'll spank you here in front of everyone for lying."

Connor looked offended and said, "I don't break my promises….EVER."

Angel looked at him and believed him. He said, "That's good to know. Neither do I."

Gunn and Fred waited in the car, and Connor followed Angel into the hospital. He asked the nurse for a room number, and he motioned for Connor to come with him. Connor went into a room with Angel and saw the woman he had pulled out of the car laying on a bed. A man sat beside her. As soon as the man saw Connor he jumped up and came towards him with his hand out. He said, "I'm so glad you came. My name is John."

Connor shook the man's hand and said, "Hi."

John turned and shook hands with Angel while he said, "You must be Angel. Thank you so much for calling and bringing your son here to meet me. I can't tell you what it means to me."

Angel said, "No problem."

John turned back to Connor and said, "I can't tell you how grateful I am. You saved them all, and they are my life. Is there anything you want? Any way I can start to repay you?"

Connor was kind of embarrassed. He thought, 'Why is this guy getting so worked up over me doing what anyone would have done? Well what anyone should have done anyway.' All Connor said was, "No. It's okay."

John nodded like that was the answer he was expecting and said, "Well, I know it's not much but I want you to have this."

John pulled some money out of his wallet and gave it to Connor. Connor just looked at it and said, "Um…" and looked at Angel.

Angel said, "It's okay."

Connor nodded and turned to John and said, "Okay. Thanks."

John handed Connor a card and said, "Here's my number. If you ever need anything, you give me a call, and I'll do what I can."

The woman on the bed moaned and John went back over to her side and held her hand. Angel said, "We have to go now John. It was nice to meet you, and I hope your wife recovers quickly."

John looked at Connor and said, "Thank you again."

Connor nodded and followed Angel out the door.

Back in the car Gunn noticed Connor was still holding the money and said, "How much did he give you?"

Connor looked down at the money in his hand and looked through it. He said, "Two hundred."

As they headed back to the hotel Fred and Gunn chattered in the back about a kind of demon Connor had never heard of, but he couldn't concentrate on the conversation because his thoughts were very sporadic. He couldn't figure out why Angel had taken him to see John, and he couldn't figure out why Angel went to so much trouble to find him each time he was gone.

By the time they got back to the hotel it was midnight. Angel pulled up and turned around to Fred and Gunn. He said, "Connor and I are going to go to his room for a few minutes, but then after that Connor will spend his hour with each of you before we go to bed if that is alright with you."

Fred nodded and Gunn said, "Sounds good."

Connor didn't like where this was going, but he was locked in the car with no where to go. Angel came around and unlocked Connor's door. He pulled Connor out and kept a grip on Connor's upper arm as he said, "Come on Connor. We need to go talk about running away again."

Connor started to struggle and dug his heels in so Angle had to literally drag him towards the door. Angel decided that wasn't the best way to do it, so he picked Connor up and tossed him over his shoulder again. Connor kept wiggling, but Angel was pleasantly surprised when Connor didn't try to bite or hit his back. Angel carried him all the way to his room and dumped him on his bed. Connor scrambled to the other side of the bed and stood up. Angel crossed his arms and said, "Let's get it over with."

Connor shook his head and said, "Let's not."

Angel actually laughed a little at that and said, "I told you if you ran off again I would spank you and then make you stay up to do all the things you were supposed to do during the day when we were all wasting our time looking for you."

Connor didn't say anything but looked towards the window.

Angel took advantage of Connor looking away and grabbed his upper arm again. Connor tried to pull away, but he couldn't. Angel walked to Connor's desk and pulled out the chair and turned it around. He sat down and undid Connor's jeans while Connor continued to try and pull away. Angel pulled him over his lap and started spanking hard and fast. Connor was really pissed at how easily Angel could manhandle him. He grunted at the first couple of swats, and to his amazement after a few more swats he started to yelp with every swat. He thought 'Why am I making that noise? Last time I didn't.'

Angel was also surprised to hear Connor reacting a little more vocally to the spanking. He wondered if Connor was a little less angry with him, and had let his other emotions surface. Angel continued spanking and said, "You will not run away Connor. It wastes everybody's time, and it doesn't do you any good. What the hell were you planning to do if I didn't come to get you? You have no paperwork to get hired for a job, and you can only live out of garbage cans for so long. It would really make me happy if you would just stay with us, and let us help you."

Connor had started to cry. Angel gave him a couple more swats and stopped. He pulled up Connor's underwear and pants and helped him to stand up. He stood and pulled Connor into a hug. Connor didn't struggle at all. He didn't hug Angel back, but Angel thought it was a big improvement.

After a couple of minutes he stepped back and held Connor at arms length. He said, "Okay you go do your hour with Fred and your hour with Gunn. Then we'll get you something to eat. After that everyone else will be going to bed, and I'll be staying up with you for four hours to begin your tutoring. Somewhere in there we can take a couple of half-hour breaks to relax and talk. Then since I don't have the energy to look for you tomorrow, I'll be staying in your room watching you sleep until Wesley gets here in the morning.

Connor was pretty tired after running all day and then getting spanked, but he somehow knew that Angel wasn't going to change his mind about this. He nodded and headed downstairs to find Fred.

Downstairs Gunn and Fred couldn't help but hear what was going on upstairs. Fred's eyes got very round and she said to Gunn in a quiet voice, "It sounds pretty bad."

Gunn listened for a second and said, "Sounds normal to me."

Fred felt kind of uncomfortable, and she felt really bad for Connor, but she understood the reason for it. She just hoped there wouldn't be much of a repeat within her hearing. She tried to keep busy putting things away. Soon the sounds stopped, and she felt a little better.

Fred was looking at a book and heard someone clear his throat. She looked up to see a red eyed Connor looking at her. He looked down and said, "I'm supposed to spend my hour with you now."

Fred put her book down, walked over and hugged Connor. He was surprised but found himself hugging her back. She broke off and cleared her throat to say, "Okay, let's go work on the third floor bathrooms."

Connor followed her upstairs.

An hour later Connor found Gunn watching some TV and waiting for him. Gunn turned off the TV and patted the couch next to him when he said, "Let's talk about running off."

Connor sighed and said, "I know Gunn. You've given me the same lecture like twenty times."

"Well maybe after twenty more it will stick in your head, and you'll stop doing it."

Connor sat carefully on the couch and listened to Gunn lecture him for about fifteen minutes. Then Gunn said, "Okay kid that's enough of that for one night."

Gunn got up and motioned for Connor to follow him. Connor was happy to stand. As they headed for the door Gunn put his arm around Connor's shoulders and said, "You know Connor, I really am proud of you for what you did on the bridge."

Connor smiled and said, "Thanks Gunn."

"And now you get to help me change the oil in my truck."

Conner lost the smile but nodded.

When they were done working on the truck, Gunn took him into the kitchen and found Angel there. Angel was making a sandwich and some soup. Gunn said, "We're all done, so I'm turning him over to you, and I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

Angel said, "Thanks Gunn."

Angel handed the food to Connor who went to the table to eat. Once he was done, Angel took him to his office and they started the lessons. Connor usually didn't mind learning new stuff, but he was really tired and had a hard time keeping his mind on the things Angel was saying. After an hour of trying to learn about division and practicing it with various numbers he was more than ready for a break. Angel took pity on him and said, Let's go downstairs and work with swords for a few minutes to wake you up.

After the break they started on Biology. Connor found this subject very strange. He didn't see why anyone would care what a cell was made up of, or why it had any importance for what he would be doing in life. About half an hour into it he interrupted Angel with, "Why do I need to know this?"

Angel said, "I know it seems pointless, and you'll probably never use a lot of the stuff we'll be teaching you, but if you want to fit into this society then it's just stuff you should know."

"I don't care if I fit into society. I already know I never will." 

"But I do care. And I think, someday you will be able to fit in. You'll have to decide whether you want to fit in or not, but at least you'll have the option."

Connor said, "Whatever."

Half an hour later Angel said, "Do you want another snack before we get started on religion?"

Connor said, "I'm really tired. Could I just go to bed?"

Angel looked at him and said with regret, "No son. I wish it hadn't taken so long to find you, but you will stay up and finish this."

Connor lost it and picked up the book in front of him and threw it at Angel's face. Angel caught it and said, "Tantrums won't help you get out of it. Lets go see if we can get you some sugar and caffeine. Then you may not want to go to sleep even when we're done."

Connor had cake and coffee before starting with the next subject. He thought 'Well that did perk me up, and listening to Dad…..Oh shit. NOT Dad! Never Dad! The monster Angel. Much better. Listening to the monster Angel talk about Buddhism isn't too bad.'

An hour later Angel said, "Okay, last but not least let's talk about money."

Connor put his head in his arms on the desk and almost cried. He said, "Please no more."

Then Connor and Angel both realized Connor had pretty much begged Angel to stop. This made Connor mad at himself for being weak. He sat up and said, "Okay lets talk money. How much do you pay Fred and Gunn for working for you?"

Angel was proud of Connor for sticking to it, even if it was probably for the wrong reasons. They talked for an hour about various jobs. Angel explained what they each paid, and why some paid more than others did. By the end of the hour, Connor was a little more impressed with his two hundred dollars.

When it was all done Angel put an arm around Connor's shoulders to lead him up to his room. Connor pretty much fell in the bed and fell asleep without thinking about much at all.

Angel sat and watched him as the sun came up, and soon Wesley came to relieve him.


	4. Chapter 4

How it Should Have Been Chapter 4

Wesley let Connor sleep until noon. He had been warned that Connor woke up fairly abruptly and ready to fight, so he stood on the other side of the room and said, "Connor."

That didn't work, so Wesley put his hand on Connor's foot, and shook it while saying, "Connor, it's time to get up."

Connor sat up quickly and got his bearings. He looked at Wesley, and outside to the sun. He said, "I'm still tired."

Wesley said, "Too bad. Six hours is good enough. Get up."

Connor thought about going and trying to get out the window, but he didn't want to get in a fight and end up hurting Wesley if he tried to stop him. He nodded and said, "Okay. Can I take a shower?"

Wesley said, "Sure with the door open so I can make sure you don't climb out the window."

Connor was too tired to argue and took a long hot shower. He felt better when he was done and said, "What now?" 

"Breakfast and Biology."

"Wonderful" Connor said in a sarcastic tone.

A few hours later Connor was done with Biology and Math. He thought it was nicer to have Fred and Wesley tutoring him than it was to have Angel the whole time. He and Fred were about to go find Gunn when Angel came out of his room for the first time that day. Angel smiled at Connor and said, "Good morning. I'm glad you're still here."

Connor shrugged and thought 'Not like I had much choice. I haven't been alone all day.'

Angel said, "So what have you done so far today?"

"Biology and Math. We were going to find Gunn next."

Gunn walked in as Connor was talking and said, "Hey Connor, my turn I take it."

Connor nodded. Gunn said, "Angel can I talk to you for a minute before I start with Connor?"

Fred waited with Connor while Angel motioned for Gunn to follow him and said, "Sure come on in the office."

Once the door was closed Gunn said, "I don't know how you feel about it, but I was thinking about taking him to the store today. It's my turn to do the grocery shopping, and I thought if it took a couple of hours it could count as both his lesson and his hour with me. He could learn quite a bit about how much food costs."

Angel said, "Sounds good if he doesn't take the opportunity to run off. Let's bring him in, and we'll talk to him first."

Connor came in, and Angel explained what Gunn wanted to do. Then he said, "If you can promise me you won't run while your shopping then you can go."

Connor crossed his arms and said with defiance, "No."

Gunn said, "You could pick out some junk food that you liked."

Connor shook his head.

Angel sighed and said, "Sorry Gunn. If you want, I'll do your hour of finances with him while you get the shopping done, and then since he's being unreasonable you can have him for two hours tonight instead of one."

Gunn said, "I can shop later if you have stuff you need to get done."

"I don't have anything pressing, you go ahead."

Once Gunn was out of the office Angel said, "You know Connor, you can be as unpleasant to us as you want, and it will only get you more work, and less free time."

"Free time. That's really funny Dad." Dad, as always, was said with a sneer and in a sarcastic tone of voice. 

"Okay, let's get started then."

After an hour of going through the hotel's bills and finding out what each bill was for, and how much it cost, Connor noticed the time and said, "It's been an hour."

Angel said, "I'm still not too happy with you, so I think we'll do another hour of this."

"But….you….you didn't tell me that before Gunn left, and I still have to do another hour with him!"

"Too bad."

"I hate you."

"I know, and I love you anyway."

Connor glared but remained silent, so Angel started explaining more about the bills.

Half an hour later Fred knocked on the door and said, "Charles is back, and he brought pizza home for lunch."

Connor smiled and started to stand up when Angel said, "Put some in the fridge for Connor, and he'll be out to have some in half an hour or so."

Fred nodded and closed the door. Connor glared and said, "You're more like Father than I thought."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing."

"I thought we went over no lying Connor."

Connor sighed and said, "When Father was displeased with something I did, sometimes he wouldn't let me eat."

Angel knew Holtz hated him, but he didn't know if Holtz had turned that hatred towards Connor, or if he had tried to be a good father to him. He knew Connor was very loyal to Holtz, so he thought Holtz must have been a somewhat decent parent. He was curious and said, "What do you mean exactly by he wouldn't let you eat. Give me an example."

Connor looked defiant again and said, "No."

Angel said, "I won't force you to tell me things about your past, but I think it would help us to get to know each other. And to make it worth your time, each time you tell me a story from your past, I'll tell you one from my past. Eventually I want you to know everything about me as a human, as Angelus, and as Angel. Even if the stories are unpleasant and make you dislike me even more, I still want you to know about them."

Connor considered this and said, "If I tell you what you want to know, will you tell me about the first time you met Father?"

Angel sighed and said, "Yes."

Connor looked away refusing to make eye contact and got quite red while he told his story. "One time when I was about ten Father told me to wait in the cave we were living in while he went to go check our traps. I usually went with him, but he wanted me to memorize the verse he had written in the dirt by the time he got back. I was angry that he didn't take me with him, so I followed him to check the traps. I watched him from a distance, and when he was done I raced home and beat him there. I didn't think he would know but he did."

Angel waited for him to continue, and wondered why Connor was so embarrassed about it. It sounded like a normal thing for a kid to do to him. After a few seconds he said quietly, "What happened next?"

Connor looked down and crossed his arms tightly across his chest and mumbled, "Father said I was an ungrateful son. He went over all the sacrifices he had made for me, and explained that the least I owed him was respect and obedience. We spent the rest of the day and night praying for God to forgive me and for Him to help me fight the monster that is a part of me. Then Father told me that for the next two days I was only to have water so that the monster in me would be weakened and I would have a better chance of fighting it."

Angel was appalled and shouted, "That is unforgivable!"

Connor looked almost scared and said, "I'm sorry. I know I'm weak. I don't know why it's so hard for me to fight the monster. Father was very patient with me."

Angel looked kind of sick and said, "Connor, what Holtz did was unforgivable, not what you did."

Connor looked up and shook his head. "No you're wrong. Father helped me to be good."

Angel was silent for a few minutes trying to collect his thoughts and tone down his anger. He finally said, "I will never make you miss even one meal. All I said about the pizza was that you had to wait until we were done here. Holtz WAS wrong to make you go without food, especially when you were ten. I think after lunch we'll go into some of the atrocities done in the name of religion over earth's history, and maybe you'll be able to start to understand why I'm upset."

Connor shrugged and said, "Your turn."

Angel had to take a few more seconds to calm down before he said, "The first time I met Holtz, I was in a bar with Darla, your mother. We had just arrived at the village earlier that evening, and we wanted to stay there for a couple of nights. We were drinking some ale and listening to the town gossip trying to learn of the best place to find someone to eat without getting caught. We saw Holtz come in with some of his men. He looked around the bar, and said something about drinking and God, but we were ignoring him. Then he spotted a girl in the back sitting by herself. He had his men go get her and drag her out of the bar room calling her a monster and an abomination on God. Darla and I thought it would be fun to watch a beating, so we followed. As soon as we were outside Holtz pulled out some holy water and dumped it on the girl. She was a vampire of course, and changed face as soon as the water hit her. She was screaming in pain as he drove a stake through her heart and killed her. Darla and I had never seen someone pick a vampire out of a crowed room of people like that just to kill them. It made us really mad, and worried us too. We decided to get to know him better, and eventually to make him pay for what he was doing. We didn't make contact that night, but we started to follow him and learn about him right after that."

Connor smiled and said, "Father was doing good in the world. Killing the vampires just like you do now."

Angel said, "Yes back then he was doing good, and I was Angelus. And as Angelus I helped turn him into the man he became."

They were both silent with there own thoughts for a few minutes. Then Angel looked at the clock and said, "Let's finish this lesson up so we can go have lunch."

Connor had kind of hoped Angel would have forgotten about that, but tried to concentrate on the bills again anyway.

As Connor was eating pizza and Angel was drinking blood, Wesley came in and said, "We got a call. There's some kind of demon in the sewers eating anything it can find including humans. From the description the woman gave me, I think it's most likely a Shreelo demon, but we won't know until we see it. If it is a Shreelo, then we'll need to decapitate it to kill it. The woman said it ate her two friends before she could get away. If it's eating that much at once, it probably has some young it's feeding."

Angel gulped down the rest of his lunch, and Connor took his pizza with him as they headed towards the sewer. Fred and Gunn were at the sewer entrance waiting for them with weapons. Angel took the lead and half an hour later they found the demon. It appeared to be sleeping. It was two times bigger than Angel was, and it had five arms and three legs. Wesley whispered, "It's a Shreelo."

Angel whispered, "I'll try to sneak up and decapitate it. If it wakes up before I can get to it, You four try to distract it so I can get a clear shot at it's head."

Angel turned to start sneaking up on the demon, while the others got their weapons ready. When Angel was two feet from the creature it woke up and batted Angel away. Angel hit the wall of the sewer and fell to the floor. As he was getting up, so was the Shreelo demon. Fred started shooting her arrows and Wesley shot his guns. Gunn and Connor started to advance on the demon with their swords, and Angel did the same.

After fifteen minutes of fighting, the Shreelo demon was dead, and everyone was tired, sweaty, and a little beat up. Wesley said, "It will have anywhere between two and six young hiding somewhere close. They will still be in the larval form. To kill them you have to gut them and take out the heart. The heart is a blue color. They have poison in their teeth, so if they bite you, you'll go numb quickly and soon you'll be paralyzed. You'll still be conscious while you're paralyzed, but thankfully you won't feel anything. The paralysis will only last about an hour, but by that time the larvae will have eaten you if no one's around to help you."

Angel nodded and said, "Okay guys, Connor and I will go this way, and the three of you go that way. We'll meet back here in half an hour to see if any of us found them."

Connor and Angel soon found the larvae. There were five of them, and they were awake. They were each about as long as Angel's leg, but much fatter. As soon Angel and Connor saw the larvae, the larvae smelled them, and started to slither towards them. Angel said, "I'll go try to gut them all. You stay back in case I get bit. If I get bit, you drag me away to meet up with the others. Then you can all come back to finish them off."

Connor said, "Why don't we both go gut them. We'll have a better chance of getting them all that way."

"No, because if we both get bit we won't be able to get away."

The larvae were getting closer, but they couldn't move very fast. Angel went in and started to gut them. He gutted three of them and got two of the hearts out before one of them bit his leg. He went numb pretty quickly and was able to get the heart out of the third before he couldn't move any more. Connor came over and gutted one of the larvae while the second took a bite out of Angel's leg. Connor gutted the second to distract it from Angel. Angel watched in horror but couldn't move as Connor almost got bit on the arm. Angel thought, 'Get us out of here Connor, don't fight them by yourself.' Connor turned and sliced it in half to find the heart. He got the heart out, as the second larva bit his pants. He could feel the teeth touching his leg, but they didn't break the skin. He turned and cut that one in half and got the heart out. As soon as all five were dead, Connor turned to Angel. He said, "Can you move?"

Angel thought, 'No.'

Connor took Angel's hand and pulled him away from the dead larvae, and propped him up into a sitting position against the sewer wall. Connor carefully put his sword against Angel's neck. He raised it high and tried to make himself bring it down to decapitate Angel for a full five minutes, but he couldn't. Conner dropped the sword and squatted down in front of Angel to say, "Father wanted me to kill you. If I had killed you when I first met you Father wouldn't have had Justine kill him. That was Father's biggest sacrifice. He sacrificed his life to help me realize the monster in me is still partly controlling me. I came to this dimension to kill you, and I still haven't done it because the monster in me wants to get to know you. It feels a connection with you. I want to do the right thing and kill you, but I can't seem to do it. When I see the good you are doing to help other people it confuses me, and I don't understand why you do it. Even now you are helpless, and I can't bring myself to kill you like I know I should. That's why I hate you."

With that Connor got up and started running away from Angel and the others. There was so much Angel wanted to say, but all he could do was sit there in silence.

Half an hour later Gunn, Wesley, and Fred found Angel. Fred knelt down and said, "Angel can you move."

Wesley said, "He was bitten. See his leg."

Gunn yelled, "Connor! Connor where are you?"

They searched the immediate area, and after about five minutes Gunn said, "The little shit ran again. How could he just leave Angel there like that?"

Fred said, "Now Charles, we don't know what happened."

Wesley said, "Come on Gunn, help me get Angel up over my shoulder, and then when we're half way back, you can carry him."

By the time they got home Angel could start to feel his chest and abdomen, but he still couldn't move or talk. They lay him down on his bed and Wesley said, "I'll have to go make an ointment for the bites, or they will become very infected."

Fred nodded and said, "I'll stay with him."

Connor had run to the first sewer exit he could find. He knew Angel would be out of commission for a while, but he still felt better in the daylight. He thought about where he should go, and what he should do. He thought, 'Angel's right that I don't have any paperwork to get a job, but I'm sure I can find someone who won't ask for paperwork. I still have the two hundred dollars that John gave me. I wonder how far that would get me on a bus.'

As he started walking he bent down and retied his shoe and scratched his leg. By the time he was half way to the bus station, he had to scratch his leg every couple of minutes. It took him three times longer than it normally would have to get to the bus station, because his leg was itching more and more, and eventually it started to hurt. Once he was at the bus station he went into the bathroom to check out his leg. As he pulled his pant leg up he thought, 'Crap that doesn't look good at all. I don't get it. The larva didn't break the skin, why is it all red and swollen?'

He washed his leg thoroughly in the sink with soap and hot water, and went out to buy a ticket. He found out that he could get across a couple of states for one hundred dollars. He decided that would be far enough away, and that he should save the rest of his money for food until he found a job. He looked through the bus schedules, and found that there was a bus going north leaving in about half an hour. He thought, 'Well I wanted to go east this time, but maybe going north will be better. They probably won't think I'll go the same way twice.'

He bought his ticket north, and went to sit on the bench and wait for the bus. As he sat there he couldn't stop himself from scratching his leg. He knew it would probably just make it worse, but he didn't have the will power to stop himself. As he was scratching himself he felt the skin break open in a small scratch. He raced to the bathroom thinking 'Not good, not good, not good. As he made it to the bathroom and pulled up his pants leg he could feel his foot going numb. He quickly got himself into the only stall with a door, shut it, and locked it. He propped himself up on the toilet, and hoped he wouldn't fall over if he became completely paralyzed. He sat there feeling more and more numb and five minutes later he was paralyzed. He kept thinking 'I'm gonna miss my ride. I wasted all that money. I hope no one tries to get in here. I'm gonna miss my stupid ride.'

Back at the hotel Angel was finally up and moving. Wesley had put the ointment on the bites, and had bandaged them up to keep the ointment in place. The bite wounds were starting to look better already, and the swelling was down. As soon as he could talk he had explained what Connor said to him before he ran off. He also told them the story Connor had told him in the office. Fred, Gunn, and Wesley were all appalled along with Angel at what Holtz had done, and how he had twisted Connor's sense of himself.

Once Angel could walk he said, "I have to go start tracking him. It'll be dark in an hour, and I'll have to start in the sewers, so I'm gonna leave now. He has some money now, so if you guys could think about what he might do, and then check it out that would be great. If you find out anything, I have my cell phone."

Angel ran to the spot he had last seen Connor, and was disappointed to find out that Connor had left the sewer so quickly. He would have to wait another half an hour before he could go up to the streets.

Fred, Gunn, and Wesley were all brainstorming and trying to think of where Connor might have gone. They started making phone calls to public places to ask if anyone had seen a person matching Connor's description.

Just as Angel was able to go into the street, his cell phone rang. It was Fred. She said, "Someone matching Connor's description was seen at the bus station an hour ago buying a ticket."

"I'm on my way. Have Gunn meet me there with the truck."

Angel set out at a dead run, and made it to the bus station before Gunn. He went in and looked around. He went to the counter and asked each of the people working if they had seen someone matching Connor's description. No one was helpful. He went to look in the bathroom and saw Connor's shoes under the stall door. Angel knocked and said, "Connor?"

Connor had been panicking wondering how long the paralysis was going to last. He couldn't see a clock, but it seemed like it had been hours, and he knew he had missed his bus. When Angel knocked on the door and called his name a wave of adrenaline shot through Connor's body, but he still couldn't move. He thought, 'No, no, no. Why him? I think I'm cursed.'

Angel went to the next stall and stood on the toilet so he could look down on Connor. He saw him sitting fully clothed and not moving. He said, "Connor can you move?"

Getting no response, he quickly jumped over the stall wall and unlocked Connor's stall door. He looked at Connor's arms for a bite mark, and then the legs. When he saw it he said, "That looks pretty bad. Wesley will have an ointment for it when we get home that should clear it up. You should be fine in half an hour or so."

Angel looked in Connor's eyes and said, "Thanks for not killing me. I know it's what Holtz wanted you to do, but it is the human in you that stops you from killing me not the monster. I don't believe there is a monster in you at all. I think that's just something Holtz made up to keep you under control. A monster wouldn't have helped those people on the bridge. A monster wouldn't have cared if he hurt Fred, Gunn, or Wesley trying to get away from me. A monster wouldn't have saved me from the last two larvae and put himself at risk doing it."

Angel paused and said, "Okay I'm going to carry you out of here. Gunn should be here with the truck any minute. We're gonna take you home and have Wes look at your leg. Then when you're feeling better, you and I will have yet another 'talk' about running away, and doing what you're told to do in a fight. I still can't believe you fought those two larvae instead of dragging me out of there to go find the others. What if they had bitten you before you killed them. Then we would both be dead. I'm really disappointed in the choices you made today."

Then Angel picked up Connor and tossed him over his shoulder. He laughed and said, "Hey Connor look, it's your going home position."

Angel continued to laugh at his own bad joke while Connor thought, 'Oh, brother.' Angel had given him a lot to think about, and lucky for Angel, Connor didn't have anything else to do but think.

An hour later Connor was feeling better and was able to move again. The swelling in his leg had immediately gone down with the ointment. Everyone was in Connor's room making sure he was okay.

Angel let Connor stand up and walk around for a little bit to make sure his leg was working. He said, "Do you feel okay now?"

Connor nodded and said, "Yes."

Wesley asked, "Anything hurt besides your leg?"

"It doesn't even feel bad now. I feel fine. I don't understand why it got so swollen when the larva didn't even brake the skin."

Wesley said, "Their saliva slowly soaks through your skin whether the skin is broken or not."

Wesley turned to Angel and said, "I'm going home now if you don't need anything else. Would you like me to come back in the morning to relieve you from guard duty again?"

Angel nodded and said, "That would be great Wes."

Connor rolled his eyes. After Wesley left Angel turned to Fred and Gunn and said, "Connor and I need to talk alone for a few minutes, and then he can spend his two hours with Gunn before dinner, and an hour with Fred after dinner."

They both nodded and left the room. Connor started to feel very nervous. He knew what was going to happen, and he found that he really wanted to avoid it. He thought, 'I do feel a little bad about leaving Angel in the sewer while he was paralyzed, but I don't feel bad about running away or fighting the larvae after Angel told me not to. I knew I could kill them without getting hurt. Well, without getting killed anyway.'

Angel pulled Connor's desk chair into the middle of his room and sat down. He looked at Connor and said, "I guess if you feel all better, it's time to talk about running away."

Connor looked around the room to the window. He looked at Angel sitting, and thought he could make it. He jumped towards the window and made it to the windowsill before he felt Angel's hand grabbing his shirt. He struggled to get away, and succeeded in ripping his shirt. Angel grabbed his wrist and hauled him back to the chair. Very quickly Connor found himself over Angel's lap with his pants and underwear down around his knees. He yelled, "Noooo!"

Angel said, "Yes." And started spanking him.

Once Connor had started to grunt and yelp with each swat Angel said, "You will stop trying to run away Connor, or you will be in this position pretty often. This is the fourth time I've spanked you in four days. Not a very good track record little boy."

Connor just kept yelping, and Angel kept spanking. Once Connor started to cry, Angel paused and rubbed Connor's back. Then he said, "Okay Connor that one's done. Now we need to take care of not doing what you're told to do in a fight. I am very unhappy with your decision to fight the larvae by yourself. I told you the plan was to stop fighting and drag me away to meet up with the others."

Connor had stopped crying, but was very anxious to still be over Angel's lap. Angel said, "I'm sorry to have to do this Connor, but I'm going to give you twenty with my belt."

Connor started to struggle even more when he heard Angel unbuckling his belt. It brought back flashes of Holtz whipping him even though he wasn't tied down and naked.

Angel continued with, "If we are fighting and you don't follow orders, I will always spank you. But if you do something to endanger your life like you did today, it will be a harsher spanking like this." He quickly brought the belt down and saw a red line formon Connor's already pink behind.

Connor showed no sign that he'd even felt it, but whispered, "I'm sorry Father."

Angel hesitated. "Father?" he asked.

Connor whispered, "I'm sorry."

Something felt off to Angel, but he didn't want to draw this out for either of them, and started to bring the belt down, covering every inch of Connor's butt in red lines. When he'd gotten to ten, and Connor had remained silent, Angel paused. He looked at the back of Connor's head, trying to figure out if he was okay.

To Angel's amazement, Connor started to visibly shake all over. With a timid voice, Connor said, "Father?"

Becoming more concerned, Angel realized that the first 'Father' Connor had uttered hadn't been directed at him. He said quietly, "No son, it's Angel, or Dad if you like."

Connor shook his head a little and said, "A..Angel? You aren't whipping me?"

Angel hated Holtz with a passion and wished he were there so he could rip his heart out and show it to him as he died. He said, "Not in the way you think," and tossed the belt onto the floor. "Ten more to go. Let's finish."

This time when Angel brought his hand down, Connor started yelping, and soon he was crying again. When Angel was done Connor just lay across his lap crying. Angel pulled Connor's underwear and pants up. Connor didn't struggle or help as Angel turned him around so he was sitting in Angel's lap. Angel hugged him close and rocked him back and forth a little. Connor let his arm's dangle, but he didn't struggle with Angel.

Connor whispered, "I'm sorry I left you there unprotected. It was wrong."

Angel said, "I forgive you Connor. I forgive you for all of it, but I want to make sure you understand that I spanked you for running away from us, for not following my instructions, and for putting yourself in danger. I did not spank you because you left me unprotected. It wasn't very nice of you, but being nice to me isn't one of the rules I told you to follow. Can you understand that?"

Connor nodded even though he wasn't sure if he did understand. He thought, 'Why is Angel holding me after he spanked me? Father would have left me tied up for a couple of hours. Why didn't he whip me? What's the point of using a belt on someone if you don't want to make the person bleed? Why is he still holding me? Why would he forgive me so soon if I did something to make him mad?'

Angel was stuck with thoughts of hating Holtz, and soon he had to ask, "Why did Holtz whip you Connor?"

He felt Connor tense up in his lap, and let him go when Connor pushed away. Connor stood and started to pace. He said, "Because I was bad."

Angel said, "Give me some examples."

"Sometimes it was because I didn't learn my verses. If I lost in a fight and he had to help, or if I let something trail me back home to the cave he would whip me."

Angel didn't think he wanted to know, but couldn't stop himself from asking, "Will you tell me about one so that I have a clear understanding of what you mean by a whipping?"

Connor was starting to feel a little more normal now that Angel wasn't holding him, and he said, "What story are you gonna tell me in exchange?"

Angel thought about it and said, "I'll tell you about my father whipping me, but I'm betting that a whipping doesn't mean the same thing to you that it means to me."

Connor stopped pacing and stared at Angel. He had trouble thinking about Angel being a boy. He turned away and slowly said, "Okay. One time when I was about twelve Father and I were checking our traps when a Klin started to attack us. A Klin is kind of like a bear with no fur. I started to fight but I wasn't quick enough and the Klin clawed my arm before I could kill it, so Father had to help me. We went back to the cave, and after I stripped he tied me to the wall. We had made a structure with logs and animal skins for when he had to whip me, because the first time he whipped me I was too weak to keep still. He usually just whipped my back, but if I had led something back to our cave he would continue all the way down my butt and legs. This time he just whipped my back. He always used his belt, and he always kept whipping me until I started to bleed. When he was done he would wash my back with a special blend of water and herbs to make sure it wouldn't get infected. Then he would leave me tied up until he saw my back start to heal. He always told me it was a sure sign that the monster was still in me when I would heal in a couple of days….Why did you use your belt if you didn't want to make me bleed?"

Connor turned back to Angel and saw that he had tears running down his face. Connor didn't understand this at all. He said, "Is your leg hurting again? Do you want me to get Fred?"

Angel shook his head no and said, "Connor, I…..I'm so sorry I wasn't able to get you out of Quor-toth, and away from Holtz. I did everything I could to get you back."

Connor just stood there confused while Angel walked into the bathroom to wash his face and try to calm down. When he came back he was more in control and walked to Connor and hugged him again. Connor didn't struggle or hug Angel back. Angel hugged Connor so tight that Connor kind of thought it hurt and Angel said, "I will never whip you Connor. I will never make you bleed as punishment. No one who loved you would. I used my belt on you because I wanted to make you realize that I think hurting yourself or putting yourself in danger is worse than running off, or not obeying me."

Connor wasn't sure what to say, but Angel was still hugging him too hard so he said, "Okay. Now it's your turn."

Angel let go and started to pace while Connor lay down on his stomach on the bed. Angel said, "My father was a good man, but when I became a teenager we didn't get along. He wanted me to become like him, and I wanted to go my own way. One day when I was fifteen, he told me to clean out the barn. I didn't feel like it, so I went to the lake and went fishing for the day. I knew he would whip me when I came home, and I didn't care. When I got home, I gave my mother the fish I had caught, and my father took me out to the barn. He took off his belt, pulled my britches down, and sat down on a bale of hay while he pulled me over his lap. He whipped my butt until it was bruised all over. Then he pushed me off his lap and onto the floor, where I lay and cried. While I was lying on the floor, he yelled at me to clean the barn. He told me if I wasn't done cleaning the barn by the time dinner was over, that I would have to go without. Cleaning a barn is not a fast job, and it took me most of the night. I missed dinner, but my mother put out some bread and cheese for me after my father had gone to bed. In retrospect I can see that I deserved what I got, but at the time I hated him. At fifteen I thought I was a man, and that he had no right to dictate my life to me. He also thought that at fifteen I should be a man, but to him that meant I should be taking my family responsibilities very seriously. My father would have never whipped me until I bled. In fact that was probably the worst whipping I ever got. There was one boy I knew in school who sometimes had cuts from his father's buggy whip, but everyone knew there was something wrong with that even back then."

Connor didn't think it sounded like much of a whipping for what Angel had done. He thought, 'I think Father would have whipped me repeatedly and made me fast and pray for days if I had done that. I never even thought of not doing something that Father told me to do. I was too afraid of what he would do to me…..I was afraid of him. Angel wasn't afraid of what his father would do to him, because he knew what it would be. I was afraid of him. I was afraid of Fa…I was afraid of Holtz.'

Angel put his belt back on while Connor was thinking. Then he smiled and laughed a little when he said, "I guess that story says more about what a little creep I was, then anything else. Enough of this! I don't know about you, but I'm worn out. Let's go find Gunn and see what fun things he has thought of for you to do tonight."

Connor rolled his eyes, but got up and let Angel put his arm around his shoulders as he walked downstairs.

After Gunn's half hour lecture about running away and not getting help when you're hurt, Connor had lots of time to think over the things that had happened between him and Angel while he was cleaning all the weapons they had used to kill the Shreelo demon and it's larvae. He wasn't surprised at all when Gunn made him clean them all again after he had finished the first time. When he was done the second time Gunn said, "We still have half an hour left. You want to come watch some baseball with me?"

Connor looked confused and said, "But that would be fun."

Gunn smiled and put an arm around Connor's shoulder and said, "I think we've both had a hard day, and we could use a break."

Connor smiled a really big smile and said, "Okay. Thanks Gunn."

After dinner Fred made Connor clean the bathrooms on the fourth floor. Fred wasn't sure what she was going to have Connor do when they ran out of floors.

When his hour with Fred was up, Connor and Angel spent an hour talking about the Salem witch trials, and how people had twisted religion and used it to kill innocent people. Connor asked, "What if they were really witches?" Angel laughed and said, "Those people would have run screaming from a real witch. I'll tell you a story about Willow, and then maybe you'll understand."

Once they were done, Angel said, "I don't know about you Connor, but I'm kind of tired. I think going to bed early sounds good. Are you tired?"

Connor nodded.

Angel said, "If you promise to stay in your room until Wesley gets there in the morning I'll let you stay by yourself."

Connor thought about it for a few minutes. Then he looked up and said, "Okay, I promise to stay in my room until Wesley comes to my room in the morning."

Angel gave Conner a big smile and pulled him into a hug and said, "That's very good of you son. I could really use the sleep."

They walked out of the office and started towards their respective rooms. Angel called a, "Good night." to Connor as he was walking up the stairs, and Connor yelled a, "Night Angel." back to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: This chapter has spoilers for the episode 'Ground State'.

Chapter 5

Wesley got to the hotel at ten in the morning, and was surprised to find Connor asleep in his room alone. He wondered if Angel had waited for Connor to fall asleep before he left. Once Wesley got Connor up they started their day.

When Wesley was done tutoring Connor for the day, he left Connor with Gunn, and went to find Angel. He found him in the office, and said, "Angel, I thought you might be interested in something I found out yesterday."

"Sure Wes, come in and sit down."

"I found out about something called the Axis of Pythia. It is an object that can let you see into other dimensions, and planes of existence. I thought you might be able to use it to find Cordelia."

Angel thought about it and said, "Where did you find out about it?"

Wesley said, "One of my Wolfram and Heart contacts. He has been helping me look for ways to get into other dimensions since I first found out Cordelia was missing."

Angel said, "So, how can I get this Axis?"

"You'll have to steal it. It's in a vault, in a very secure building called Chandler's Auction house. I've brought the blue prints with me."

Angel Wesley and Fred spent the next hour making plans to steal the Axis.

Angel thought Connor was remarkable well behaved for the whole day. He did all four tutoring sessions without complaints or arguments. And after lunch he helped Fred redo all of Cordelia's files which had been frustrating Fred for months. Then after that he hadn't complained when Gunn made him wash and wax his truck. Angel was very pleased with all of this, and thought that maybe Connor was going to make it though the day without trying to run.

Angel decided Connor could use some exercise, so he took him to the basement, which also doubled as a workout room, and they practiced fighting with swords for an hour. After they were done, Angel had Connor do some homework in his office while Angel went though the blue prints again. Both Fred and Wesley had decided to start giving Connor some work to do alone to see how that would go. Angel was amazed at Connor's concentration. He was really studying, and getting it done pretty well from what Angel could see. He realized Holtz had probably beat good studying habits into Connor early on, and tried not to think about it any more.

Around 8pm when it was starting to get dark, they all sat down and had dinner together. After people were almost done eating Angel said, "Okay, lets go over the plan for the night. Gunn and Wesley you'll be with me, and Fred and Connor you'll stay here."

Connor asked, "What are you guys going to go do?"

Angel said, "We're going to steal something called the Axis of Pythia. It will let me see into other dimensions, and I hope it will let me see Cordelia, where ever she is."

"Stealing it from where?"

"It's in a building in a vault. We have the blue prints if you want to look them over to see if you have any suggestions we might have missed."

"Okay, but why aren't Fred and I going?"

Angel looked at Connor and wondered if he was going to have a problem over this. He said, "Because it's illegal. Most of the stuff we do is dangerous, but since the law doesn't recognize demons, it isn't illegal to kill them. Breaking into a public building and stealing something is illegal in this society. I don't think we're going to get caught, but in case we do, I don't want you to be there."

"That's stupid. I thought you said I was part of the team." 

"You are part of the team, but you also don't have any paperwork here in this dimension. Wesley and I are working on getting some paperwork in place for you, but it will probably be another couple of weeks before they're ready. But even if you had paperwork I wouldn't let you go, because starting a police record at your age would make it even harder for you to fit into society later on."

Connor was mad and his voice was getting louder as he said, "I wouldn't get caught! You should worry more about Wesley and Gunn getting caught! They can't move as fast as we can! It's a stupid plan!"

Fred, Wesley, and Gunn were getting a little uncomfortable with the conversation, and they were looking at Angel to see what he would do. Angel said, "Let's go talk in my office Connor."

Connor picked up his empty plate and tossed it to the wall where it shattered, and yelled, "NO!"

Angel almost laughed. He had to be silent for a couple of minutes to make sure he wouldn't break down, because he knew laughing would not give Connor the right message. He said very quietly, "Go clean that up."

Connor sat there for a few seconds trying to decide what to do. He had kind of surprised himself by tossing the plate, and he wasn't sure why he had, but he really didn't want to humiliate himself in front of everyone by going and cleaning it up. He crossed his arms and glared at the spot where his plate had been.

Angel didn't think it was funny now. He stood up and barked out "NOW!" while pointing at the plate.

Connor glared at Angel, but seeing him looming over him brought back flashes of the fights they had had, and Angel spanking him. He slowly got up and started picking up the pieces of broken plate, not looking at anyone.

While Connor was picking up the pieces Angel said, "Okay since Connor seems to have a problem with the plan, I think Wesley should stay here and watch him, and Fred you can come with me and Gunn if that's okay with you."

Fred nodded and said, "Sure Angel. I want to find Cordy too."

Connor heard this and got even angrier. He thought, 'Angel lied to me. He said I was part of the team, but I'm not. He would rather take Fred then me, and I know Fred can't do what I could do. I hate it here. I did what he asked me to do all day, and now he won't let me do what I do best. I need to get out of here.'

Connor had picked up the plate, and wiped up the bits of food from the wall and floor. He planned to go to his room, and headed out the door when he heard Angel's voice say, "Thank you for cleaning up the plate. Come in my office, and we'll talk about tonight."

Connor thought about running, but he knew he wouldn't make it very far, so he sighed and headed towards the office. Once the door was closed Angel grabbed Connor's arm and gave him three hard smacks on the butt. Connor let out a surprised 'Oww' at the first swat, but then was quiet. Angel said, "You don't throw tantrums when you are angry Connor. You talk about what's bugging you like an adult."

Connor pulled his arm out of Angel's grasp and walked a couple of steps away while he rubbed his butt. He crossed his arms and said, "Whatever."

"Connor, I know you want to come with us, but it's just not going to happen. The five of us ARE a team, but we don't always go do the same things. Sometimes Fred and Gunn go to check out one thing while I go do a different job. I'm sorry you're angry about not going with us on this one, but I can't risk you getting caught."

"But you can risk Gunn and Fred getting caught!"

"Fred and Gunn understand the risks and have decided to join me. You can't understand the risks yet, because you haven't been here long enough."

Connor didn't say anything to this so Angel continued with "I wanted to tell you that I was really proud of the way you behaved this morning. You did everything we asked you to do, and didn't complain or try to run. It was great."

Connor mumbled, "Not like it did me any good."

Angel sighed and said, "That's not true and you know it. Did you learn new things today? Was any of it interesting? That should have a value to you just by itself whether it changes the way I treat you or not."

Connor knew what Angel said was right, and he gave a little nod.

"We have to start getting ready to go. I really hope you can be good for Wesley tonight, and that you'll still be here when we get back. If you aren't here, I think you know I'll find you and bring you home."

Connor glared at him and said nothing.

Angel said, "Okay, it's your choice. Let's go see what you and Wesley will be doing tonight."

An hour later Angel, Gunn and Fred were gone, and Wesley and Connor were looking through some books Wesley had found with references to the Axis. Connor got up and started to walk away. Wesley said, "Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom. Unless that's illegal too."

"There's no need to be sarcastic."

Connor had almost reached the door when he heard Wesley call to him, "Leave the door open."

Connor got really pissed and slammed the door shut and locked it. He hadn't really been thinking about running off, because he was interested to see what the Axis did, but that last comment made him too mad. He looked up at the bathroom window and decided he could fit. He didn't hear Wesley calling him or banging on the door, so he opened the window and climbed out. He started to run but heard a small noise towards the front of the hotel. He turned around to see what it was, and he saw Wesley come around the corner at a full run. He started running the other way as fast as he could. He heard Wesley calling his name, but he just kept on running. Connor was kind of surprised how long Wesley could keep up with him, but he wasn't worried about Wesley catching him.

Soon Wesley realized there was no way he could catch Connor, so he stood with his hands on his knees trying to get his breathing back to normal. He headed back to the hotel muttering about Angel trying to kill him again.

Once Connor was sure he had lost Wesley, he stopped and thought about what he wanted to do. He started to walk aimlessly around the city thinking. He thought, 'I don't want to go back, but if I don't Angel will find me soon, because it's nighttime. I wonder how long it will take him to steal the Axis.' He heard screaming in the distance, and went to see what it was. He realized it was the waterfront carnival before he even got there, but he decided he didn't have anything better to do, so he went to go check it out.

An hour later Connor was sitting on a bench, watching people walk by. He never got tired of just watching people. He had spent his whole life with Holtz as the only other human he could see, until he came to this dimension. Tonight he noticed all the parents there with their kids. He noticed them touching, and smiling and laughing together. He noticed the way they all seemed happy and comfortable with each other. He thought, 'That isn't the way it was with Father. We were never just happy. Sometimes he was happy with something I did, but he was never just happy to be with me. Angel seems to be kind of happy when we're doing things together. Like today when we were working out with swords he was smiling, and even laughed a couple of times.'

Right in front of him he saw a man pick up his young son. He gave him a kiss and hug, and then put him down again. Connor thought, 'Angel hugs me sometimes. I can't remember Fath…Holtz hugging me ever. He would hold my hand sometimes. It doesn't feel the same.'

Connor sat and watched people and thought for a long time. He wasn't really paying attention to the time, or what he was doing. He just sat there. Soon he heard someone crying. He looked around and saw a little boy about four years old walking alone and crying. He also noticed a woman looking around and following the boy. Connor looked carefully at the girl, and sniffed the air. He got up to get a little closer and soon realized she was a vampire. He walked up to the girl and said, "Leave or I'll have a good time killing you."

She sputtered a little and said, "Who the hell do you think you are boy?" 

"I'm the destroyer, and I'll stake you before you even get the chance to change face."

She looked once at the little boy who was still alone and crying and Connor said, "Don't even try it. As soon as I find out where he belongs, I 'm gonna try to find you. I'm in a bad mood, and I think killing something would help. You should run now."

The girl looked like she believed him, and turned to start running away.

Connor went to the boy, and squatted down in front of him. He said in a quiet voice, "Hey my name's Connor what's yours?"

"Jason."

"Who are you here with Jason?"

"My dad, but I can't find him."

"Well, the best way to help your dad find you, is to stay in one place. Why don't you come sit on that bench with me until he finds you."

Jason nodded and said, "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

Connor and Jason walked to the bench to sit down, and Connor said, "Well when you're lost and need help you kind of have to."

They sat quietly for a few minutes and then Connor said, "What does your dad look like?"

Jason thought for a minute and said, "He's big. Big like you, but bigger. And he has shorter hair."

Connor didn't think that was very helpful. He stood up on top of the bench and looked around for a man who might be looking for someone, but didn't see anyone. He concentrated on listening to the people around him. After a couple of minutes he heard someone calling the name Jason, but it came from a couple of blocks away. He jumped down and said, "I can here your dad calling you. You want to ride on my back, and we can get to him quicker?"

"Okay"

Connor let Jason climb on his back, and the boy put his arms around Connor's neck. Conner put his hands under the boy's legs, and started to run towards the voice. As the voice got a bit closer Jason said, "I hear him! That's my dad."

Connor kept going, and soon could see the man frantically looking around and calling Jason's name. Jason started squirming to get down as soon as he could see his dad. He yelled "Daddy!"

The man spun around in time to see Connor put the boy down and he ran towards them. He picked Jason up and hugged him tight. He kissed his head and said, "Are you okay?"

Connor turned to walk back to his bench, but he heard the man say, "Hey kid!"

He looked back at the man who was holding out his hand. The man said, "Thanks for helping him find me."

Connor shook his hand and said, "Okay."

He turned to walk away, but walked slowly and listened to them as he left. Jason's dad put him down and knelt down next to him and said, "What happened? You were right next to me when I was buying the popcorn. Then as soon as I paid the man, I looked down and you weren't there. Where did you go?"

Jason said, "I went to see the horses."

His dad asked in a very stern voice, "You went to find the merry-go-round?"

Connor heard the tone of voice and thought it sounded like Angel when he was unhappy with something Connor did. He was far enough away that no one noticed he was listening, probably because no normal human could have heard the conversation from that far away. Connor could see glimpses of them as the people walked back and forth in front of him.

Jason said in a quiet voice, "Yes."

His dad said, "What did I tell you when we were in line for the popcorn?"

"To wait beside you and…"

His father prompted, "And…"

"And not to wander off…. But I really wanted to see them, Daddy."

Connor could see them as Jason's father stood up and swatted Jason's butt once. Jason yelped and started to cry. His father said, "We are going back to the car to talk about wandering off, and then we are going home."

Jason kept crying, and his father picked him up and started towards the parking lot hugging him tight.

Connor knew it was probably not a nice thing to do, but he couldn't help but follow them to see what would happen. He thought Jason's father was going to punish him, and he wanted to see what he would do. As he was following a safe distance away he kept thinking about Holtz and Angel and the differences between them.

The parking lot was empty, so Connor had to crouch down so that Jason's father wouldn't notice him spying. As soon as Jason's father got to the car he opened the door and put his foot up on the rim of the car. Put Jason over his leg and started spanking. As soon as Jason was over his father's knee he said, "NO Daddy! I'm sorry. Oww Daddy!"

His father gave him ten swats, and by the time it was over Jason was crying hard. Then his father turned him around and hugged him again. He held him close and said, "Okay it's over now. I love you Jason."

After a few minutes of crying Jason started to calm down, and his father said, "You have to remember not to wander off son. You have to stay with me when we're out in public. Bad things could happen to you if I'm not there to protect you. Do you understand me?"

Jason nodded and said into his father's shirt, "I'm sorry Daddy."

"I know you are, and I forgive you, but if it happens again, I'll spank you again."

Jason nodded.

"Let's go home and get you to bed kiddo."

Connor sat in the parking lot for a while thinking about what he had seen. Jason's father reminded him a lot of Angel. He finally decided he would go back to the hotel.

Back at the hotel Wesley was waiting for Angel, Fred, and Gunn, to come back. When they came through the door Fred looked like she had been crying and Gunn was leaning on Angel. Wesley could see that none of them had the Axis. He said, "What happened?"

Angel said, "We met someone. She called herself a freak. She took the Axis, killed Gunn, and then started his heart again with her hand somehow. We just got back from the hospital."

Wesley went to help Angel with getting Gunn upstairs to the room he shared with Fred. As soon as Gunn and Fred were settled Angel and Wesley went downstairs. Angel said, "Where's Connor?"

"I was hoping you would be in a better mood when you got back."

"Wes?"

"He took off. He climbed out the bathroom window. I tried to stop him, but he runs much faster than me, and he doesn't seem to get tired while running."

"Great. Okay Wes, can you please call Lilah for me?"

"What do you mean? Why would I have her number?"

"I can smell her all over you Wes. I'm not judging you. You can do whatever you want with your life. I just want her to help me out. I want to find out who wanted the Axis besides me. Once the freak girl gives it to the buyer, I'll take it from him."

Wesley wasn't sure what to think of that. He eventually said, "I'll give her a call, but I can't promise she'll help. And if she does give us information, I can't guarantee that it will be accurate. I sleep with her, but I don't trust her, and you shouldn't either."

Angel nodded and said, "I'm gonna go see if I can find Connor and bring him home before the end of the night."

Connor was walking slowly in the direction of the hotel. He thought he wanted to go back, but he was pretty sure Angel would be back by now, and he didn't really want to have a 'talk'. He thought, 'Maybe he'll be out looking for me, and I can sneak into my room and tell him I was there the whole time.'

Connor laughed at himself after this thought, and said out loud to himself, "Who thought I would ever want to sneak back in?"

Angel was on the rooftops looking around, when he heard Connor's voice. It was too far away to hear what he had said, but he knew it was his voice. He started towards it and soon saw him. He found it hard to believe Connor was so close to the hotel and he stood there staring for a minute. Then he realized Connor was walking towards the hotel instead of away. He decided to see what Connor was going to do, so he followed him, but kept a distance. Soon Connor was in front of the hotel. He stopped and just stood there for about ten minutes before Angel jumped down in front of him. Connor jumped a little at the sudden appearance of Angel. They looked at each other, and Angel said, "You came back."

Connor crossed his arms and said, "Yeah."

"Why?"

"I…. I guess because I… I don't know."

Angel walked up to him and pulled him into a hug and said, "I'm glad you did."

Connor let Angel hug him without a fight. Soon Angel put an arm around Connor's shoulders and they started walking towards the hotel's front door together. Angel said, "I'm glad you came back, but you still ran away again."

Connor nodded.

"Let's go to your room and talk."

Angel was even more surprised at Connor's cooperation. He docilely went up stairs and into his room, and let Angel keep his arm around him the whole time. Once they were in his room Angel pulled out the desk chair and sat down. Connor stood nervously just out of arms reach. He said, "Wesley made me mad."

"How did he do that?"

"He told me to leave the bathroom door open when I went to pee, and you guy's had left me here."

"Ah, so you were really still mad at me."

Connor stood and fidgeted but remained silent. Angel said, "I'm sorry you couldn't come, but if the police came and I couldn't protect you it would kill me."

Connor thought that sounded similar to what Jason's father had said, and he nodded his head. Angel said, "As it turned out it was really good you didn't come, because we ran into some trouble. There was a woman there that somehow could control electricity with her hands. She killed Gunn just by touching him."

Connor felt nauseous at this news, but before he could say anything Angel continued with, "Lucky for us she was kind of a nice person, and shocked his heart back into beating so he didn't stay dead long."

"Is he okay?"

"We took him to the hospital, and they released him after about an hour. He should be fine after a day or two. He's in bed resting, and I'm sure Fred is hovering."

Connor was surprised that he seemed to care so much. He didn't think he cared about Gunn, but hearing that he was okay made him very happy. Connor said, "Did you get the Axis?"

"Not yet, but let's get back to why we're here. So you were mad at me, and Wes made a comment that made you even angrier so you ran. Is that right?"

Connor looked down and nodded. When Angel said it like that it sounded pretty childish. Angel said, "Okay come here."

Connor looked up and didn't even think about running as he walked slowly towards Angel. Angel took Connor's wrist and tugged him over his lap. Connor didn't struggle at all. Angel was very pleased with the whole attitude change. He brought his hand down hard about 20 times, and then said, "Don't run away even when you're angry."

Connor waited for more swats, or for his pants to come down, but neither of these things happened. Instead Angel picked him up and turned him around so he was sitting on Angel's lap. He didn't struggle as Angel hugged him, and he even rested his head on Angel's shoulder. After a couple of seconds he asked, "That's it?"

Angel smiled and said, "Yes we're done. I'm really proud of you for coming home, and you were really good all day before you ran. And well, Wes makes me mad sometimes too."

Connor smiled and said, "Thanks….Dad."

Angel felt a swell of love for his child and almost broke down in tears. He waited for a couple of seconds so he could trust his voice and said, "For what son?"

"For… just for not being like Fath…like Holtz."

Angel could feel a couple of tears fall down his face, and he hugged Connor tighter. Connor waited a few seconds, and then said, "Too tight."

Angel let go and wiped his face while he said, "Sorry about that."

Connor stood up and said, "It's okay."

Angel got up and put the chair away. He said, "What did you do while you were gone?"

"I wandered around and ended up at the carnival by the waterfront. I just sat there and watched people, and thought about you, and Father, and me."

"What made you decide to come back?" 

"There was a man there that reminded me of you, and that made me think about the things Holtz had said about you, and how they aren't true."

Angel said, "I'm glad you don't think I'm a monster any more."

Connor shrugged and said, "I'm tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed."

Angel didn't even think about making Connor promise to stay there for the night. He went over and hugged him again and said, "Good night son. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Angel."

The next day, Connor woke up alone in his room. It was a good feeling. He got ready and went downstairs. He saw Angel in the kitchen sipping a mug of blood and said, "Morning."

"Did you sleep good?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Like the dead."

Connor rolled his eyes while Angel laughed so hard he had to set his mug down. After breakfast Connor said, "Who gets me first, Fred or Wesley?"

Angel said, "Neither one. It's Saturday, and I think Fred and Gunn could use a day to themselves. So it looks like it's just you and me until tonight. I thought that maybe we could go see a movie. There is a sewer entrence really close to the theater on Third Street, and it's shaded buy the other buildings most of the day.

Connor said, "Okay. That sounds really great."

Six hours, two movies, and three popcorns later they arrived home in good spirits. Wesley was there waiting for them. He said, "Ah, there you are Angel, I wanted to tell you I got the name of the buyer."

Angel wrote down the information and noticed Connor and Wesley were carefully avoiding eye contact. He said, "Connor apologize to Wes for running off when he was watching you."

Connor looked surprised and a little hurt until he heard Angel continue with "Wes apologize to Connor for not trusting him to pee alone."

They both looked a little sheepish and eventually Wesley said, "Sorry if I upset you Connor. I hadn't realized you had already decided to stay here."

"Sorry I made you chase me until you couldn't breath."

Angel said in a warning tone, "Connor…."

"Sorry I ran off while you were watching me."

Angel smiled and said, "Great. I'm glad that's all settled. Wes, could you stay here and keep Connor company while I go check out this buyer."

Connor looked mad and said, "Why can't I come?"

Angel said, "Okay let's see a show of hands. Who here doesn't need a beating heart to survive through the night? Anyone? Oh right that's just me."

Connor rolled his eyes and crossed his arms and said, "I thought you were going to check out the buyer, not the woman who hurt Gunn."

"Sorry son, but she might be there, so none of you humans get to come with me."

Angel started to walk out the door and called behind him, "You guys play nice while I'm gone."

Connor and Wesley actually had a pretty good time together talking about Quor-Toth. Connor happily described in detail every life form he could think of that he had seen on Quor-Toth, and Wesley happily wrote it all down for his records.

Angel did meet the freak girl at the buyer's house, and found out her name was Gwen. He helped her get away when the buyer turned evil, and he got to go home with the Axis. That night he used it while everyone else waited outside his room to hear what Angel would found out. Half an hour later, he came out and walked past everyone. Fred said, "Did you find her?"

He said, "Yes."

Gunn said, "And?"

Angel turned around and said, "She is in a higher plane. There is light and warmth all around her."

Connor said, "Like heaven?"

Angel said, "Yeah. I guess. I think she must be happy there. The whole time I was under water, I kept thinking about getting home to her, and she's been home the whole time."

With that Angel walked away to be alone.


	6. Chapter 6

WARNING: This chapter contains graphic descriptions of torture of children, and the murder of an infant.

Chapter 6

Over the next week everyone settled into a routine. Wesley still kept his apartment, but he was over at the hotel daily to tutor Connor and help with cases. Angel was no longer looking for Cordelia, but he was still depressed about her being gone. Gunn and Fred both seemed fairly content to work on cases, tutor Connor, and help Connor make amends for the lying he did while Angel was missing. Connor was actually enjoying the tutoring sessions, and was very pleased to overhear Wesley talking to Angel one day. Wesley had said, 'Connor is really quite smart. He is learning at an exceptional rate.'

Connor had mostly decided to stay put, and very rarely had the stray 'I have to get out of here' thought. Angel and Connor had exchanged quite a few stories from their respective pasts, and they both felt a little closer to each other. Connor hadn't been nice the whole week, but he hadn't done anything to get spanked either. Angel was a little depressed that Connor had only called him Dad in a nice way the one time. Connor still said it in a sarcastic tone once or twice a day when Angel made him do something he didn't want to do. For the most part Angel let this go, and tried not to let Connor know how much it hurt him, because Connor usually called him Angel in a nice way now, and hadn't called him a monster or any other derogatory name.

The thing that really kept Connor happy and relaxed enough to stay was going on cases with everyone. He was a very good hunter, tracker, and killer, and Angel could tell Connor really enjoyed it. Connor loved the way the vampires dusted under his hand, and he enjoyed killing other messy things even more. Angel thought this was a little unnerving. Connor showed no hesitation or remorse over killing things. It reminded Angel too much of Angelus and Darla for his comfort, but he also realized a person living in Quor-Toth would have to learn to kill quickly, and without remorse or they would not survive. He didn't know if that part of Connor would ever change, but he didn't think it would. He consoled himself with the fact that Connor had not harmed a human since coming to this dimension. Angel didn't count the time Connor cut off Sunny's pusher's ear, because that guy had deserved it, and apparently Connor hadn't even considered hurting anyone else since. In fact Angel had seen Connor go out of his way to help more than one human when they were out on a case.

Wesley brought Connor's papers over on a Tuesday morning. He had a birth certificate, a Social Security card, immunization records, and even home schooling test scores and grades. Angel was very pleased and called Connor to his office. Angel said, "Sit down and look at these with me."

"What are they?"

"Wesley just brought them over today. This is fake paperwork that should pass scrutiny. This paperwork is necessary for you to be a member of society in this day and age. I'll keep it in the office for now, but eventually you'll need to keep this paperwork in a safe place were you can find it when you need it. You'll need it to get a job, or to get into college. You'll need it to get a driver's license, or a weapon's license. You'll need it if you ever get married or have kids. You'll need it if you ever get into legal trouble or get hospitalized."

Connor nodded. They spent the next couple of hours going over each piece of paper and how he would have come to have them normally if he had never gone to Quor-Toth. The only thing he wasn't very happy with, was the new birth certificate. It listed an Angel Johnson as his father, and a Darla Johnson as his mother.

He said, "So I'm Connor Steven Johnson?"

Angel said, "I know it's not a great last name, but it's the best we could do. Birth certificates are hard to just recreate, and you have to start with a real one. I had to change some of my records to reflect this last name too, and I thought you would like to keep Steven as a part of your name."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks."

The other thing Connor noticed was that the date of birth on the certificate made him seventeen as of two weeks ago. Connor said, "I thought you and Wesley decided I was about eighteen."

Angel said, "I think you probably are eighteen, and I'm sure you're not going to like this, but I wanted to make sure you stayed here for a year, and that I could legally make you if I had to."

Connor had been in this dimension long enough to understand the significance of being a legal adult and he was hurt that Angel didn't trust him to stay there. He said with a sneer, "That's pretty crappy of you Dad."

Angel said, "Well you've only been here a couple of weeks, and you've only decided to stay here during this past week. Now that I've gotten papers for you I don't want that to backfire on me. It's not so bad to be younger. This way if you get into any trouble with the law in this next year, I'll be able to help you out a lot more than I could if you were eighteen. And this way by the end of the year we hope you can take your high school equivalency test at the same legal age that most people would have graduated. That might help if you want to do any kind of college."

Connor could see the logic, but still thought it was crappy. He said, "Whatever."

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly until Connor and Angel were spending time together. They usually did some kind of physical activity, and then shared a story or two. They had just finished practicing with daggers, and were sitting down to relax. Connor had thought about asking for a while, and he said, "Will you tell me about when you and Darla killed Father's family?"

Angel was surprised but he knew this would have to come up eventually. He just hoped he wouldn't be looking for Connor every day again when he was done. He said, "First you tell me what Holtz told you about it, and then I'll give you my version."

Connor said, "He told me that he had been trying to kill you both for a few months, and that he had been gone all day and part of the night searching. When he went home he found his wife, his ten-year-old daughter, and his newborn son dead. He told me the story more than once, but it was hard for him to get it all out, and often cried especially when talking about his son. He told me that was why God had wanted us to be together. I was to make up for the son he lost, and also to help him get revenge on you for what you had done."

Angel was very unhappy with this version of the story. Holtz had not been honest, and the truth was much worse. He didn't want to tell Connor, and he thought about lying. He figured Connor would never know the difference, but Angel himself would and it would eat at him. He said, "Connor, you are not going to like this story, so I want you to promise me something before I start."

Connor nodded. 

"You promise me you'll stay here in this room until I'm done telling the story."

Connor thought about it and said, "Okay I promise I'll stay until you tell me your story is done."

"You know I was Angelus, and I was with Darla, your mother. Holtz had been hunting us for months. We hated him and there had been a couple of close calls where he almost got us. We wanted to really hurt him. We wanted to brake him to the point that he didn't have the will to keep chasing us. Angelus decided the best way to do this was through his family. So we kept a close eye on him, and we knew when he would be away for most of the night. We looked through the windows until the wife was busy with the baby, so that the girl would answer the door. It is always easier to trick a child into inviting you in than an adult.

"The girl invited us in before her mother could stop her. I quickly drank and killed the mother so that she would be out of the way while Darla held the screaming girl. We had plans for the girl, so I tied her to a chair while Darla held the baby. You have to understand that to a vampire the younger the human is, the better they taste. Babies taste very good. Their blood going down your throat is almost orgasmic. So Darla and I took our time taking small sips and bites off the boy in front of the girl. Baby's always taste better when they are still awake and screaming. The noise adds to the pleasure. It was a healthy baby. He lasted for about fifteen minutes before he was unconscious, and probably took another five minutes to die. He was probably unrecognizable by the time we were done."

Angel had been looking down while telling the story unable to meet his son's eyes. When he did look up Connor was very pale and said, "I'm gonna be sick." As he ran over to the sink and puked.

Angel thought it would be best to get the rest of the story out, so while Connor was standing over the sink rinsing his mouth out Angel continued with, "By the time we were done with the boy, I think the girl was in shock. She had stopped screaming, and her eyes were unfocused and glazed over. I didn't like this. Angelus needed his victims to be well aware of what was going on, or there was no fun in it. So, I untied the girl and held her close to me giving her words of comfort until she started to cry and seemed to be more aware of her surroundings. I think Darla was still licking drops of blood off the baby at this point. When she saw what I was doing, she came to help."

"She said, 'You know my love, this is really all the girl's fault.' I smiled and realized where she was going with that comment and I said, 'You're so right.' I put the girl down and knelt down next to her. I forced her to look at her brother and explained how it was her fault that the boy had suffered a long and painful death. I asked her if her father had ever told her not to let strangers into the house. Of course she grew very pale and we knew the answer was yes. I told her she would have to be punished, and I whipped her with my belt until she passed out. I… I enjoyed listening to her scream."

"When she was unconscious Darla drank her almost dry. Then Darla slit her wrist and poured some of her blood into the girl's mouth. Then we tied her to a chair and left. Darla and I stayed close so we could see Holtz' reaction. When he came home, he didn't realize what his daughter was, and he untied her. He held her close and comforted her while he cried over his wife and son."

"Darla and I had to leave before the sun came up, but I know that by the next night the child was dead. Holtz had to realize what the girl was, and he was forced to kill her. We forced him to kill his daughter, the only family he had left. That's the end of the story, but I need you to try and remember I was Angelus not Angel. I had no soul, and now I do. I hate Angelus more than you ever could, and I have to live with the guilt every day."

Connor was still standing at the sink and turned around long enough to say, "Father was right. You are a monster."

Angel looked down and couldn't meet his son's eyes. He said, "Yes I was, but I'm not now."

Connor ran out of the room and up to his room. Angel didn't follow him. Angel stayed down stairs and punched the punching bag until it broke. Then changed face and punched the wall until his hands bled. Sometimes the guilt got so bad he wished Buffy were there, because she was the only person he knew that was strong enough to really beat him up and make him hurt. He thought about how good it would feel to start a fight with her, and to feel her punching him in the face. Soon he had made a mess of the wall and his hands. He paused and looked at the wall and his hands, and put his human face in place again as he stopped. He knew there was no point in hurting himself. He had done it lots of times, and it never made the guilt go away.

He went to the bathroom and poured some rubbing alcohol on his hands just to feel the burn. There was no reason to be worried about infection. Then he went to his office and tried to loose himself in paperwork and forget about who he was for a while.

Upstairs Connor was lying on his bed crying. He couldn't believe he was made from the two monsters that had killed his Father's family in such an awful way. He understood so much more now why Holtz was the way he was. He knew from his time spent with Angel that Holtz had been a little insane, and now he knew why. He couldn't take being in the same building with the monster and climbed out the window and started to run as fast as he could away from the hotel.

A few hours later Gunn came into the office and said, "Hey Angel, when is Connor going to do his hour with me? I was thinking about trying to take him to the grocery store again."

Angel looked up and said, "Connor's gone."

Gunn said in an exasperated voice, "Why did he run this time."

"Because I'm a monster."

Gunn looked at Angel trying to decide if Angel was trying to make a joke or not. He said, "I don't get it."

Angel said, "I told him about the night I killed Holtz' family. He won't be back."

"What the hell do you mean he won't be back!"

"I mean he's right. I'm a monster and I don't have any right to hold him here. You don't know Gunn. You don't know the things I've done. I can't be a good father. I think he's better off without me."

Gunn walked up to Angel and punched him in the face. Angel was unprepared for the blow and fell backwards out of his chair. He got up and yelled, "What's your problem Gunn?"

"I can't believe you man. Haven't you lived long enough to figure out how father son relationships are supposed to work? You've spent all this time and energy into doing the right thing for Connor and now you're going to throw it all away because you remembered what a bastard you were in the past, and you can't deal with your own guilt? That's pretty selfish. That makes you as bad as Holtz. Let me tell you a little bit from my past. I had two father figures while growing up. The first one, my father, was physically abusive. The second one, my sister's father, was neglectful. He showed us every day that he didn't give a crap about us. Trust me when I say they both feel like shit. How is Connor going to deal with it when he realizes that you aren't coming to find him? He is hurting, and it's your responsibility to help him. I can't believe you think leaving him to fend for himself would somehow make it better for him. Even if you aren't that great a dad, at least being there for him, and showing him that you care enough to try is better than doing nothing. If you don't go look for him, Fred and I will. We'll tazer him if we have to."

Angel didn't know what to say. He stood there thinking about it. Finally he said, "You're right. I was too lost in my own thoughts to really see what was best for Connor. Thanks for making me see things clearly."

Gunn still looked pissed but said, "Okay. Let's go find the kid before he does something dumb. I'll go get Fred."

Angel felt old and tired. He wanted to go to sleep and forget, but Gunn was right, and like it or not he did have to stick things out with Connor even if it made him face his past again.

Connor was looking for something to kill. He desperately needed to find a way to get out some of his anger before he lost it and broke down again. It was just starting to get dark, and he walked alone in the alleyways looking for a vampire or two or twenty. He knew the right area's of town to go to, and soon had a group of five of them around him. He killed them all and only received a few punches in the process. It made him feel better. He continued to another likely area of town. The thoughts that kept going through his mind were; 'Father hated Angelus. Father took me because he hated Angelus, not because he really wanted me. Father….Holtz hated me. God didn't want us to be together, Holtz wanted us to be together to get revenge. He wanted revenge on Angelus, but instead took it out on Angel, and took it out on me. How can Angel live with himself after the things he has done?'

Connor had made it to his next destination, and tried to make himself look like a nervous kid so they would think he was easy pray. Soon two vampires came out, and he killed them without any effort. He didn't think it was a very satisfying kill. He needed another. He headed towards the last easy place to find them and kept thinking. He thought 'What am I going to do now? How can I live with him now that I know what he's done? If I do live with him does that make me a monster too? Am I already a monster, because two monsters created me? Angel isn't Angelus. Angel didn't kill those people. Angel helps people every day. I have seen him helping people. How can he live with himself?'

Connor had arrived at the last place he was going to try and find some vampires. He was really preoccupied with his thoughts and wasn't looking around as closely as he usually did. Soon he felt massive pain in the back of his head, and then he was unconscious.

Angel was tracking Connor's sent by foot, and Gunn and Fred were driving around looking for him in the places he seemed to like to go. Angel found that Connor had been walking around aimlessly again, because his sent crossed itself a few times like he had been going around the block again and again. He got to the first alleyway, and smelled the death. He knew Connor was out looking for things to kill. He called Fred and Gunn and told them to check out the more common vampire haunts. He ran to the next place Connor had been. When he got there his phone rang, and Fred said, "We can't be sure it's Connor's, but there is some blood on the ground here in the alleyway behind Oak Street."

Angel ran faster than he thought he could to the alleyway. He sniffed the blood and knew it was Connor's. He could smell a female vampire's sent as well. He tracked them back to a vacant warehouse. He went in cautiously and saw Connor tied to a wall with metal cable. The female was taunting Connor with a dagger, but hadn't used it yet. Conner was struggling against the cables but couldn't break them. Angel could smell the fear on him. Angel started towards the female, and he heard her say, "Some 'destroyer' you turned out to be. I can't believe I ran from you the last time that we met. You were pretty convincing, and now I'm gonna convince you that I'm the one you should be….."

Angel staked her from the back.

Connor looked at Angel with gratitude, and said, "Thanks Dad." before he even thought about what he was saying.

Fred and Gunn came running in and they all worked together to get the cables off Connor. Once he was free Fred hugged him and said, "Are you okay sweetie?"

Connor nodded and Fred let him go. Gunn hugged him too and said, "Are you hurt anywhere?"

Connor reached back to the base of his head and said, "I think I may be bleeding. She hit me on the head with something."

Fred said, "Let me look."

Connor turned and Fred said, "It doesn't look too bad now. Lucky for you that you heal quickly like your dad."

Connor tensed at the comment and said under his breath, "I'm a monster too."

Unfortunately for Connor Angel could hear just as well as Connor could, and swatted Connor's butt hard.

Connor let out a surprised "Oww" and whirled around to face Angel.

Angel said in a calm voice, "You can call me a monster if you want, but I don't want to hear you say that about yourself."

Connor yelled, "What else can I be DAD? I am made of two vampires!"

Angel said, "You're a miracle, and a human. You may be a bit enhanced compared to most humans, but you're still human."

Connor said nothing and just glared at Angel. Angel said, "I know you were upset, but it's not a good enough reason to run away. Get in the car. We're going home."

"Screw that! I can't live with you now!"

Angel turned to Gunn and said, "We'll ride in the back of the truck."

Gunn and Fred headed towards the truck, and Angel headed towards Connor who turned and ran as fast as he could. Angel caught him before he got even ten feet and tossed him up over his shoulder to carry him to the truck. Connor struggled wildly and punched Angel in the back repeatedly. Angel said calmly, "You are making things worse for yourself Connor."

Connor didn't care. He could only feel anger and hate. He continued to hit Angel with everything he had. Once they got to the truck Angel climbed in and sat down. He held Connor in his lap. He wrapped his leg around Connor's legs so he couldn't kick, and he wrapped his arm's around Connor's chest and arms so he couldn't punch. He tucked Connor's head under his chin and held him there with his head so he couldn't bite. He said, "Okay Gunn were ready. Try to make it quick."

When they were half way back Connor started to say again and again, "I hate you. I hate you." Then when they were a block away he started to cry, and Angel loosened his hold and rubbed Connor's back.

After Gunn parked he asked, "You need any help Angel?"

"No. You two go on in, and hey Gunn, thanks again. I owe you one."

Gunn nodded and headed in the hotel with Fred who said, "I'll make dinner."

When they were alone, Angel said, "Let's go talk in your room."

Connor nodded and got up. Angel kept a hand on Connor's arm the whole way to his room. Once they were there Angel sat down on Connor's bed and pulled Connor down to sit next to him. He wrapped his arm around Connor's shoulders and said, "I love you Connor. I know you don't like me very much right now, but you do still have to live here and follow the rules I set up for you. I know it's hard for you to accept that I'm a separate person from Angelus, because we share the same body, but a soul makes all the difference. The things I did as Angelus disgust me, but I won't lie to you about the things I've done. And you should know that the story I told you today is not the worst one, in fact it's fairly average. I did things like that for a couple of centuries, until the curse. I tried to stay with your mother after the curse that put my soul back, but eventually I just couldn't. As a matter of fact the final straw was when she brought me a baby to eat. I took the baby and ran so I could protect him from her."

They were silent for a few minutes until Connor said, "You made Holtz hate me."

"I made Holtz hate me, and because of that a part of him hated you too. But he had to feel some kind of love for you, or you never would have survived childhood."

"I think he was a little crazy"

"I know he was."

"What happened to your hand?"

Angel looked down at the hand that was in his lap. He saw that the cuts had healed but it was still pretty bruised up. He thought about it and said, "I punched the wall until they bled. I was trying to get rid of some guilt and anger. It wasn't the most healthy thing for me to do, but I was upset."

Conner nodded and said, "I understand. I was upset too."

"So to relive some of your anger you went to kill some vampires."

"Yeah."

"How did the girl get you in the back of the head. You should have heard her before she got you."

"I was distracted. I was thinking about Holtz and you."

Angel's voice got a bit stern when he said, "I understand you going off because you were upset with me, but it is not safe to be out hunting and killing when you're alone and distracted."

Connor nodded and said, "Yeah. Thanks again for saving me by the way."

"Anytime."

There was another pause of silence before Angel asked, "So are we okay now? I thought things were going pretty well this past week, and I would like to see that continue."

Connor thought about it and said, "I don't know Angel. I can't get the thoughts of you killing them out of my head. I've been having a pretty good time this past week, but now things seem pretty messed up."

"Well if we have to go back to the beginning, that's okay too. I'll make things black and white for you, so you don't have to worry about deciding to stay. If you run, I'll come get you, and spank you for leaving. You will stay here a year whether you hate me or not."

Connor felt tired and kind of relieved. He didn't want to talk about it any more, so he said, "Okay."

"Good. I'm sorry Connor, but I have to spank you for running away today, and for fighting me when we were coming home."

Connor thought this would be coming and said, "I was upset. I don't think it should count."

Angel smiled and thought it was encouraging that Connor was trying to get out of it by talking instead of running, or showing no emotions at all. He said, "I was upset too, but it does count. Stand up."

Connor stood. He was too emotionally worn out to argue or try to run.

Angel undid Connor's pants and pulled him across his lap. Connor's upper body was resting on the bed, and his feet were on the floor. Angel started to spank him. Connor was silent for the first twenty swats or so. Then Angel put a little more force behind the swats and Connor started to squirm and kick his legs. Eventually, even though Connor had bitten through his lip with the effort to stay silent, he started yelping and grunting with each swat. Angel said, "You will not run away Connor. I don't care if you're upset or not, you still don't run away."

Connor started to cry. Angel gave him a few more swats and then stopped. He rubbed Connor's back and noticed that his butt was a bright red color. He said, "Okay we're done with that one." Angel thought about using his belt again, but he didn't want to bring back memories of Holtz so he said, "Connor I want you to go stand facing the corner by your bathroom."

He helped Connor stand up. Connor was still crying. Connor pulled up his pants while Angel said, "Did you hear me? Do you understand?"

Connor gestured to the corner and said between sniffles, "Y…You want…. m… me to stand… over there."

Angel said, "Yes please. I need to go to my room for a minute, and then I will be right back."

Connor nodded and headed towards the corner. He heard Angel leave and turned around to watch the door. He wasn't thinking very clearly, but he knew he didn't want to run, and that it wasn't safe to be alone in a room without looking around for danger. He stopped crying and his thoughts started to get back to normal. He thought, 'What does Angel need to get? Why does he want me to stand here? Why don't I want to leave?'

Angel was back, and Connor saw that he had a silver hairbrush with him. Connor understood now what Angel was doing. He looked at Angel and started to cry again. He said, "No."

Angel looked kind of sad and said, "Yes."

Angel walked to Connor who stayed in place and pulled him over to the bed again. He pulled Connor's pants back down and pulled him over his lap. He said, "You will stop fighting with me when I am making you do something you don't want to do."

With that Angel brought the brush down. Connor thought it made an amazingly loud 'Crack' noise, and it was even more painful than Angel's hand. He started yelling immediately, and tried to squirm away. Angel held him tight and gave him fifteen swats. He paused and Connor cried quietly over his lap. Angel said, "You don't go hunting alone or when you are distracted. What if we hadn't gotten to you in time? You could be seriously hurt or dead."

Connor knew this meant Angle wasn't done, and he really wanted it to end. He did feel ashamed and embarrassed that he had let himself get caught by the vampire, and he said, "I know. I…I'm….I'm sorry."

Angel brought down the brush ten more times while Connor cried and yelled. Then he stopped and tossed the brush on the bed. He could tell Connor was going to have a couple of bruises soon, but they would be healed by morning. He rubbed Connor's back and said, "I know you felt bad about the vampire catching you off guard, but now you don't have to. You made a mistake, and paid for it. Now you are forgiven and you will hopefully learn from the mistakes you made."

Angel helped Connor stand up and fix his pants. He stood up and pulled Connor into a hug. He stood holding Connor for about two minutes, and then felt Connor put his arms around him. He couldn't believe Connor was actually hugging him back. This was a first, and Angel could feel tears running down his own face. They stayed that way for a long time, and finally Angel said, "Let's go have dinner. You must be hungry since you lost most of your lunch."

Connor nodded. Angel let him go and said, "Go clean up your face, and I'll meet you down stairs."

Angel wiped his own face on his sleeve and took the brush back to his room. In the kitchen Gunn said, "How are you doing?"

"Better."

Connor came in and stood by the door looking at the floor. Fred said, "I didn't feel much like cooking, so I made sandwiches and canned soup. Angel, your blood is in the microwave."

Connor looked at his chair, and didn't really feel like sitting down, but he didn't want anyone to think he was too weak to handle the pain so he did sit down.

While they were eating Angel said, "How many vampires did you kill tonight?"

"Seven."

"Pretty good."

"Thanks."

Fred said, "Did you say seven? Connor you know you shouldn't be out there by yourself hunting them. What if they overpowered you? Well, I guess one of them did. It's much safer for you to go with at least one of us."

"I know, but I was mad."

Gunn said, "Next time you're mad, come and get me. I'll try to come with you. I understand if you need to blow off some steam, and I can just be back up."

Connor just stared at Gunn for a while. He had never even thought that Gunn would understand or help him like that. He didn't quite know what to say to show Gunn how he felt about that. He said, "Thanks Gunn. That's…. I'll do that."

Connor felt better when they were done eating, and he went with Gunn to the all night grocery store. He didn't have a great time, but it was informative.

When they were done he did some homework in his room lying on his stomach, and read some of a book that he had borrowed from Fred. He had found that he really liked reading for fun. It helped calm his mind down, and gave him a break from the confusion and anger.

Around 3am Angel knocked on Connor's door. Connor said, "Come in."

Angel came in and sat on the bed next to Connor. He said, "Do you feel better now about today?"

"A little."

"I'm sorry my past is so horrific. I could have lied to you about it, but I think that would be wrong."

"I'm glad you told me the whole story even if it was awful. I'm surprised Fath…. Holtz didn't tell me the whole story. It would have made me hate you even more before I met you."

"It was probably too hard for him to talk about."

Connor nodded and said, "Do you really think he… loved me at least a little?"

"I think he loved you as much as he could love anything after what had happened to him. I love you very much, with everything I have, and I hope that some day you'll feel some kind of affection for me."

Connor didn't know what to say to that. He thought about it and said, "I like you more than I ever thought I could, and I like living here more than I think I should."

Angel leaned over and kissed the top of Connor's head and said, "Good night son. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Angel."

That night Connor didn't sleep well. He kept having nightmares about becoming a vampire and eating babies in front of Angel while Angel was tied to the wall and helpless to stop him.


	7. Chapter 7

Authors note:

This chapter has spoilers for the episode 'The House Always Wins'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 7

Things had gotten back to normal over the next couple of days. Angel was quite pleased that Connor hadn't tried to run again after the emotionally charged story from Angel's past. The more Angel thought about what was happening in his life with Connor back and Cordy gone, the more he wanted Lorne to read him and tell him where his path led. It used to be very easy to get Lorne to read him, because he lived there. But now Lorne lived in Las Vegas, and when they called him, Lorne always cut the phone call short, and sounded like he had no time for them. After this last confrontation with Connor, Angel wanted Lorne to listen to him sing even more. He wanted to hear about what Lorne saw in his future, so he could feel he had a goal to shoot for. He decided to break the news to everyone on that Friday afternoon.

Connor had finished his tutoring sessions with everyone, and he was doing some homework in the lobby while Fred, Gunn, and Wesley did research on a demon a woman had clamed to see in her house. Angel came out of his office and said, "I'm glad you're all here. We need to have a group meeting."

They all looked at him expectantly. "Lorne will not return my calls. Have any of you talked to him for more than five seconds on the phone?"

Fred and Gunn shook their heads no, and Connor hearing that they were talking about 'the filthy green demon' turned back to his homework. Wesley said, "I haven't had any contact with Lorne since he left for Las Vegas."

Angel said, "Well I really want him to read me. I need a little direction, so I want to go and make him see me for at least a few minutes. I mean he's been our friend for a couple of years now, and he's done battle with us and for us. That has to count for something, right? Not to mention I've saved his life before. He should at least have the decency to see me for a five minute reading."

Connor snorted and said, "Decency? Yeah right."

Angel was well aware that Connor had a problem with Lorne because he was a demon, but since Lorne had left for Las Vegas, they hadn't really talked about it. He said, "Connor, Lorne was like your nanny when you were a baby. He loved you and sang to you. He changed your diapers and fed you. You don't know him at all, and you've condemned him just because he's not human. Not all demons are bad. In fact many of them fight for good like we do."

Connor said nothing but rolled his eyes and looked back at his book. Angel did not think this was encouraging, and he decided that when they were alone sharing stories, he would tell him some stories about Lorne and Doyle. Angel said, "So, who wants to take a little trip to Vegas for some fun and gambling, and maybe a show or two?"

Fred raised her hand and jumped up and down a little saying, "Me! Me!"

All the men looked at her like she had lost her mind, and she slowly put her hand down and said in a small voice, "I've never been there before."

Gunn put an arm on her shoulder and said, "Well then, I'll have lots to show you."

Fred smiled up at Gunn, and Angle said, "Great, so Wesley can you stay here for the weekend and watch Connor?"

Wesley said, "Yes."

But Connor's irate shout overpowered Wesley. He yelled, "What the hell do you mean watch me? Why can't we all go?"

Angel said, "Because most of the things we're going to do in Vegas require a person to be 21 years old. And even if your paperwork said you were 21, I don't think people would believe it. If we did take you, you would end up staying in the hotel room while we were off working, and you would be board. Besides that, I need someone to stay here and work on cases while I'm gone."

Connor slammed his book closed and walked off towards his room. Once he was gone Angel said, "Well isn't he all warm and fuzzy today."

Wesley said, "I'll go home and gather the things I'll need to stay here for the weekend."

Angel said, "Thanks Wes, I really appreciate it. We'll leave as soon as it gets dark tonight. I'm gonna go talk to Connor, and I hope you don't have any trouble with him, but if you do just call my cell phone and I'll come back."

Wesley nodded and walked towards the door. Angel turned to Fred and Gunn and said, "Better go pack."

As they walked off, Fred started talking to Gunn a mile a minute asking him when he had been there, and what he had done, and what he wanted to show her.

Angel sighed and headed up to Connor's room. He knocked on the door and walked in after a couple of seconds of no response. Connor was lying on his bed listening to music with his headphones on. It was one of the things Angel disliked Connor doing, because he didn't think it was safe to have an open window and not be able to hear what danger might be going on. But Gunn had given them to Connor, so he didn't want to take it away. Connor looked up and took the headphones off. He said in an unpleasant tone, "What Dad?"

Angel sat on the bed next to Connor and said, "I know you hate to be left out son, but this isn't really even a case. I'm just going to see an old friend, and it's one you don't even like very much."

Connor said, "I don't trust him. He could turn on you. I should be there to help you fight."

Angel said in a tired voice, "That's one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. I let Lorne take care of you when you were a baby. I trusted him with you, which means that I trust him with my life too. He's a good man, and your blind hate is going to get you into trouble in more ways then one. Maybe I should tell you a slavery story and see if you can get the connection."

"I know about slavery. Gunn spent a day telling me about slavery in America and how it still has lingering effects on the way black people are treated today. He said it would help me understand the current culture. I thought it was pretty sick the way human's treated each other, but I don't get how that relates to hating a demon that's out to get you."

Angel said, "Well back when slavery started in America the white people had to have a way to justify their treatment of their slaves, so they made themselves hate and sometimes fear all black people. They made it seem like they were a whole different species, and taught their children to hate them, and treat them like objects. You were taught by Holtz to blindly hate all demons no matter what. Can't you see the correlation?"

Connor said, "That's not the same at all! Demons ARE a different species from humans, and a lot of them like to kill us!"

Angel said, "I'm telling you that it is the same Connor. You don't know Lorne, but I do. I've told you he's a good person, but you don't believe me. You still hate him because he's green with horns"

Connor started to say something else, and Angel interrupted with, "Just think about it over the weekend. Speaking of which, I want you to try and be good for Wesley. I know he can be an ass sometimes, but he really is trying to be a good guy. And I guess I want to warn you that if Wesley has a problem with you, and he has to call me, you are going to be an unhappy boy when I get back. And if I have to cut my trip short because I have to come find you… let's just say sitting will be hard for you for a while."

Connor said in a nasty voice, "You bet Dad. I'll just stay here like a good kid while you all go talk to the demon. What a great plan."

Angel counted to ten in his head and said, "I don't care if you like it, as long as you go along with it, we'll be fine. Oh, and by the way because of your little tantrum down in the lobby, I'm going to make sure Wesley understands that you have to keep up with ALL your tutoring sessions, and your two hours of extra work each day this weekend."

Connor wanted to say something else, but he knew from past experience that it wouldn't be a good idea. When he got too mean, Angel would just start saying things like, 'okay we'll make that three hours a day' or, 'maybe an extra hour of tutoring will improve your mood', so Connor kept his mouth shut with some difficulty and crossed his arms. He glared at Angel.

Angel thought Connor showed great restraint by not saying something, and pulled him into a hug. Connor tried to pull away at first, but soon gave up. Angel said, "I'll miss you while I'm gone, and if your good, I'll bring you something back."

Angel felt Connor's arms going around him too, and they sat that way for a couple of minutes. Angel was quite pleased, and surprised that ever since Connor had hugged him back that first time Connor had kept returning his hugs. Connor might not always be nice, and he said some pretty mean and hurtful things every day, but Angel found great hope in the fact that they were able to be physically close without Connor fighting him or pretending to be a zombie. Angel let go and said, "I have to go pack. I'll say goodbye before we go."

Wesley and Connor got along okay while the team was gone. There were a couple of times that Connor got angry, and Wesley had said, "Should I call Angel?" And if that wasn't enough to make Connor shut up, it was at least enough to make him do what he was told.

In Vegas, Fred, Gunn, and Angel found out that Lorne was being kept hostage, and was being made to use his powers for evil. It was late Sunday night when they finally got Lorne free and took down the person who had been keeping Lorne hostage. After they had saved him, Lorne decided to go home with them. Angel thought this was great, because Lorne was a good friend and a good asset to the team. He was worried how Connor would deal with it at first, but he thought with enough time and effort they could get along. Angel asked everyone if they wanted to get a room for the night because it was late, but Lorne wanted to get out of Vegas and back home. They made good time, and arrived back home at the hotel about 5am right before daybreak. Gunn woke up Fred and they headed for their room to sleep. Lorne looked at Angel and said, "It's great to be home."

Angel said, "It's great to have you home. You can have your old room if you want, or if not, pick whichever one you like. I'll see you in the morning, and we can do that reading."

Lorne said, "Good night" and headed up to his old room. It felt good to be there, and it was such a relief not to be under constant surveillance. It was so good to just be free. He got to his old room, and saw that nothing had been changed. He was so busy thinking about how happy he was; that he didn't hear Connor behind him until it was too late. Connor raised the sword and decapitated Lorne. Lorne's head rolled under the bed, and as Connor was going to put the sword away he heard a high-pitched scream coming from under the bed. He couldn't figure out what was down there with the head, but he really hoped it wasn't Fred. Then he thought 'I would have smelled Fred or anyone else for that matter. The demon was alone.' Connor was standing still thinking for a few seconds while the scream continued. Soon Fred and Gunn were there, followed by Wesley and last Angel. Connor just stood there and watched while Angel yelled above the sustained scream, "Lorne is that you?"

The scream stopped and Lorne said, "My head's under the bed. I think your kid still has a major problem with me."

Connor was cursing his luck. How was he supposed to know that that kind of demon didn't die from decapitation? Most of them did. He didn't have time to think long, because Angel was in front of him. Angel grabbed the sword from his hand and tossed it to Wesley. Angel then grabbed Connor's arm and swung him around to swat his butt six times as hard as he could. Connor yelled and had tears in his eyes by the time the sixth swat had landed. Angel yelled at him, "Get your butt into your room NOW!"

Connor ran to his room and slammed the door. Fred had climbed under the bed and was pulling Lorne's head out with her. She put it back on his body and Lorne said, "Thanks doll, I can't tell you how much better that feels."

Angel came up to Lorne and said, "Lorne, I'm so, so, sorry. I never thought Connor would do something like that. Please accept my apology, and he will be giving you one as well. I hope this doesn't change your mind about staying."

Lorne thought about it and said, "I do want to stay here, but I don't like having my head cut off, and if the little monster was trying to kill me, then I don't want him to find out how to really do it."

Angel put a hand on Lorne's shoulder and said, "I'm gonna make sure he doesn't try it again, and if he does, I'll lock him up at night and make sure you two are never alone together. Please stay Lorne."

Lorne thought about it and said, "Okay. I guess for now I will, but if things get worse with him, I'll have to leave."

Angel paused and then said, "Fred and Gunn already know, but before you hear it, I should let both you and Wes know that those swats I gave Connor were just the start. I'm gonna spank him. I don't know if you agree with my parenting techniques or not, but it seems to be working for him."

Wesley nodded and said, "I thought you were using some kind of physical punishment. From what I have heard about Holtz, it's something Connor understands. I don't have a problem with it. He's much better behaved than when he first got here."

Lorne said, "He just cut off my head. You aren't going to get any arguments from me!"

Angel nodded and headed towards his room while everyone else went back to bed. Connor was lying on the bed thinking. He thought, 'Tonight didn't turn out like I wanted it to at all! I'm trying to protect them from the demon, and Angel punishes me for it! He sucks. They can't even tell how evil it is. They trust him! It's sick. I would have been able to bury the body before anyone woke up too. Filthy demon living right next to me!'

His thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the door. He didn't have time to say come in before a very angry Angel appeared holding the hairbrush that Connor now hated. Connor couldn't believe Angel was so angry about a demon. Connor didn't think he had ever seen Angel so angry. Angel pulled out Connor's desk chair and pointed to it while he yelled, "SIT!"

Connor was starting to get pretty nervous and gulped. He got up off his bed and walked quickly to the chair and sat down. Angel paced back and forth in front of Connor while he said in a fairly calm voice, "I am more disappointed in you now, than I have ever been. Frankly I am past caring whether you like Lorne or not. You will under no circumstances try to kill him or anyone else living here!"

Connor yelled, "I would never try to kill Fred, Gunn, or Wesley!"

Angel said, "Well now you need to add another name to that list!"

Connor crossed his arms and glared at Angel. Angel said, "Connor this is my house, and I invited Lorne to stay here, with Fred and Gunn's approval. You show disrespect to all of us when you try to hurt Lorne, and I won't put up with it."

Connor thought quick and said, "I didn't know it was Lorne. I just saw a demon sneaking around and I was trying to protect everyone in the hotel. I didn't even know you were back."

Angel stood still for a few minutes staring at Connor, and Connor started to fidget and soon had a very red face. Angel said, "You haven't lied to me in a long time Connor. Tell me what the rules are that I set up for you."

Connor got even more red and mumbled, "No running, no physical fighting with anyone who lives here, doing what I'm told to do by the people who live here, and…and no lying."

Angel said, "This hasn't been your best night little boy. I'm tired. Get up."

Connor stood up and Angel grabbed his arm. Angel sat down and undid Connor's pants and pulled them down with his underwear faster than Connor could move. Angel tugged Connor over his knees and started spanking hard with the hairbrush right away. Connor started yelling and squirming right away. He even said, "Please…Ahh… Stop!….Oww… Dad stoooopp!"

Angel was surprised at the 'Dad' but kept going. He said, "You WILL NOT try to kill Lorne again. If you do, I will not be able to trust you, and I will have to lock you up every night. Then I will make sure you are never alone during the day again. You will not be a happy boy."

Connor wasn't too far gone yet, and he had heard and understood what Angel had said. He yelled, "I'm sorryyyyy! OWW! I won't…..Uuhhnn… do it again! Ahhh!"

Angel said, "You better not." And continued to spank him.

Soon Connor was in so much pain, that he couldn't do much besides cry and lay limp over Angel's lap.

Angel stopped and tossed the brush on Connor's bed. He rubbed Connor's back in soothing circles, and said, "Okay we're done for now."

When Connor's crying got a little more under control, Angel pulled up his underwear. Since Connor hadn't been wearing shoes, his pants had fallen to the floor while he was kicking his legs. Angel turned him over and held Connor in his lap. He rocked back and forth a little and said, "It's okay now Connor. I don't think I can forgive you right now for trying to kill Lorne, but I'm not mad at you any more, and if the next few days go better, I'll be able to forgive you."

Connor put his arms around Angel and said, "I'm sorry, I just want to protect you all form it."

Angel said calmly, "His name is Lorne and that is how you will refer to him."

Connor said, "But I don't trust him. He'll turn on you."

Angel said, "No Connor. He won't. And even if he did, don't you think I could handle it?"

Connor couldn't think of another way to convince Angel that Lorne was dangerous, so he didn't say anything.

Angel sat there with Connor for a few more minutes and then he said, "Okay, let's get you into bed son."

Connor stood and walked to his bed. He lay on his stomach and pulled the cover's up over himself. Angel sat on the side of the bed and said, "I'm gonna have Wes come in and watch you for the rest of the night, because I can't risk you hurting Lorne again."

Connor wasn't sure why, but he started to cry again at the lack of trust. Angel said, "And in the morning when we both wake up, you and I are going to have a talk about lying."

Connor sniffed and said, "No Dad, please don't. I…. I'm sorry I lied to you."

Angel kissed the side of Connor's forehead, and said, "I'll see you in the morning. Try to get some sleep."

Angel got up and walked to the room Wesley was using for the weekend. He knocked and Wesley came to the door pretty quickly. Angel said, "I'm sorry to ask Wes, but it's already daylight out, and I have been awake for two day's straight. Could you please stay in Connor's room while he sleeps? I can't trust him not to try and kill Lorne again right now."

"Of course Angel. I don't think I'll be able to sleep any more today anyway. Let me get dressed and get a book and a snack and I'll meet you there."

Angel went back and found that Connor was already asleep. He noticed the brush on the end of the bed and picked it up to take back to his room. Soon Wes came in the room and put the desk chair by the door to sit in. He had a sandwich and a book. He nodded to Angel who nodded back and whispered "Wake me when he gets up." and headed to his room.

The next morning about eleven, Connor woke up. He rolled over and was surprised that his butt was still a little tender. There wasn't much pain, but he could tell it wasn't back to normal yet. He was usually completely healed after a few hours, and thought he would feel normal again soon after breakfast. He tended to need to eat more when he was healing. He sat up and saw Wesley reading a book in his room. He remembered all of last night and groaned. Wesley said, "Ah, I see your up. Good. Go take a shower if you want, while I wake Angel."

Connor said, "Maybe you should let him sleep. He was up pretty late."

Wesley smiled and said, "Sorry Connor, but he asked me to wake him."

Connor groaned again and put his head in his hands for a second before getting up to go take a long shower.

When Connor got out Angel was waiting for him. He noticed the room was darker now, because the shade had been drawn to protect Angel from the sun. Angel was sitting in the desk chair in the middle of the room again. Connor had a towel around his waste, and decided clothes would be a very good idea about now. He said, "Morning Angel, did you sleep well?"

As he talked he headed for his dresser and heard Angel say, "Don't bother."

Connor froze in place and waited for what Angel would say next. He turned to look at Angel. Angel said, "Come here son."

Connor didn't want to, but didn't see many other options, so he headed to Angel's side. Angel immediately pulled Connor over his lap, and yanked the towel up so he could get to Connor's bare butt. He started spanking right away, but not as hard as last night. Connor tried to be quiet, and was very glad that Angel was just using his hand this time. While Angel was still spanking Connor he asked, "Why am I spanking you son?"

Connor thought it was odd that Angel would ask him that. Angel usually told him why. He said, "Don't you know?"

Angel almost laughed at that, but kept it in. He increased the strength a bit and said, "Yes, I know why, but I want to see if you remember why."

Connor started to kick and squirm a little and he said, "Because I…I lied to you."

"That's right."

Angel put more strength into the spanks and kept going. Soon Connor started to yell out an occasional 'Oww'.

Angel finally gave him eight more full force spanks, which made Connor yell loudly, and he started to cry. Angel pulled the towel back down and stood Connor up. He stood up too and hugged Connor while he said, "Don't lie to me Connor. I can tell when you lie, and it makes me not trust you. You should never lie to get out of trouble, because it will just get you into more trouble."

Connor nodded into his chest.

Angel said, "Get dressed and come down for breakfast. While we're all eating you will apologize to everyone for keeping them up last night, and you will apologize to Lorne for trying to kill him."

Connor sniffed and said, "But that will be a lie."

Angel smiled and thought Connor was pretty smart. He said, "You said you were sorry last night."

Connor said, "I was sorry you were mad, and that you were spanking me." 

"You said you wouldn't do it again."

"I won't."

Angel thought for a minute and said, "Okay, for today you can start the apology with 'My dad is making me say'. But I hope that eventually you will feel bad about it, and want to apologize to Lorne yourself."

Connor thought about it and said, "Okay."

Wesley had gone home to put his stuff away and relax for a while by himself, but everyone else was there at the table when Connor came in. He sat in his chair and squirmed a bit. While they ate, Angel told Lorne what they had found out about Cordy, and about the recent cases they had been working on. When there was a pause Angel said expectantly, "Conner…"

Connor looked at his mostly empty plate and said, "I'm sorry I kept everyone awake last night, and Angel is making me tell the demon I'm sorry for trying to kill him, even though I'm not."

Angel said through clenched teeth, "Try again, or we can go back upstairs and talk some more."

Connor shifted in his chair and said, "My dad is making me tell you that I'm sorry for trying to kill you Lorne."

Lorne said, "I can just feel the love. How about you kids, can you feel the love?"

Gunn said, "I don't know about love, but I can feel irritation and impatience for certain children who don't know what's good for them."

Connor got a little red at that and said, "I know living with a demon can't be good for me!"

Angel stood up and yelled "That's it!.."

Fred interrupted him with, "Connor, could you come to my room please. There's something I want to show you."

Connor glared at Angel and Angel glared right back. Fred said, "Please Connor."

Connor looked over at Fred and said, "Okay Fred."

As soon as they were in Fred's room, she turned on the TV and started to look through her tapes. Soon she found what she was looking for, and put it in the VCR and hit play. She sat on the bed next to Connor and put her arm around his shoulder as they watched together. They sat for the next two hours watching home video's of Connor when he was a baby. He saw all of them; Angel, Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Cordy, and Lorne playing with him, dressing him, bathing him, and feeding him. They all sounded so proud when he could do things like lift his head and roll over. He almost didn't recognize Angel he looked so happy. But one thing was for sure; Lorne was in almost every shot. When the other's were playing with him Lorne was there watching, and Lorne was the one who was doing most of the diaper changes and bathing and even feeding. There were a couple of times when they were video taping and there was a call, or Cordy had a vision, and they all had to run out. When that happened, whoever was holding Connor would pass him to Lorne to watch while they were gone. He saw Lorne singing to him, kissing him, and looking at him with love, and he could see his baby self smiling and cooing at Lorne.

When the tape was over Fred went and pulled it out of the VCR. She handed it to Connor and said, "Keep it, so you can watch it whenever you want. This tape is only about five months old. Five months ago Lorne was caring for you like this. Lorne loves you, and you're hurting him with your hate. I want you to stop."

Fred walked out the door not waiting for Connor to respond. Connor put the tape back in the VCR and watched it again. He was surprised no one came in to bug him. He wasn't sure how to feel about it. He thought about Holtz, and how many of the things Holtz had taught him were wrong. He thought about the things Holtz had told him about Angel, and how much of that was wrong. He remembered Angel telling him about slavery, and how blind hate had kept people from seeing the truth. He watched the tape and was especially engrossed by one scene of Lorne rocking and singing to him. He spit up all over what looked like a pretty expensive suit, but all Lorne said was, "Poor baby, lets get you changed and see if you feel better." Connor thought, 'Fa…Holtz would have probably put me on the ground and cursed me while cleaning himself off.'

Once the tape was over for the second time, he realized he was wrong about Lorne. He was pretty embarrassed and more than a little ashamed that he had tried to kill him before he even knew him. He thought Angel had shown quite a bit of restraint in just spanking him. He new Holtz would have been much more violent in a similar situation. He took the tape to his room, and went to find Lorne.

Lorne was in the office with Angel. Lorne had just read Angel, and was reassuring Angel that he was following the right path, and that he should just keep doing what he was doing. The door was open, so Connor walked in and stood by the door. Angel turned to him and said, "You better have something nice to say, or you can just go find Gunn to do some tutoring"

Connor looked at the floor and said, "I'm sorry Lorne for trying to kill you, and I won't do it again. I hope that we can get to know each other better."

Lorne said, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I saw a tape of you and me when I was a baby, and I realized I was wrong."

Lorne thought about it and said, "Okay we'll try to get to know each other and see how it goes."

Connor nodded and looked over at Angel who was smiling and said, "I'm sorry I was so awful….Dad."

Angel got up and walked to Connor. He pulled him into a hug and said, "I'm glad you understand now. And I can even forgive you for trying to kill Lorne. But it better not happen again to anyone, and I mean anyone, that I invite to stay here with us. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"You're behind in your day. You better go find Fred or Gunn and start your tutoring."

"Okay."

"Oh, but before you go, I want to give you this."

"You brought me home a pen with a woman on it?"

Angel said, "Turn it upside down."

Connor saw the woman's clothes fall to the bottom. He looked embarrassed and said, "Oh brother." As he walked away.

Angel laughed.

Once Connor was gone, Lorne said, "He's changed for the better since the last time I saw him. I think you're doing a great job, and it's really important that you keep it up, because he could be dangerous without lots of love and attention. Teaching him and helping him grow will be a big part of your future. If you don't do a good job of it, things will get ugly for both of you."

Angel nodded and said, "I agree, so what do you want to teach him for an hour a day?"

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Well, part of my teaching him to be a good person will definitely include teaching him not to hate all demons. Who better to start that then you?"

"Now let's not be hasty here. I don't know if I have the time or patience for that. What could I possibly teach the little nipper anyway? If he has your genes, I'm sure he can't sing."

"Hey! I'm not that bad."

"Yes you are Angelcakes. I just had to listen to you remember?"

"Well, Darla could sing, but that's not the point. The point is, that I want you to spend time with him, and you know it's the right thing to do."

Lorne sighed and said, "Why did I leave Las Vegas? I think helping to destroy lives is better than trying to teach a teenager who hates me how to sing."

Angel laughed and clapped Lorne on the shoulder when he said, "You'll love it, and you know it."


	8. Chapter 8

Authors note: This chapter has spoilers for the episode 'Slouching Toward Bethlehem'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 8

The second day Lorne had been home, he decided to give Connor his first singing lesson. It was late in the afternoon, and Connor had finished working with everyone else. They went down to the basement, and Lorne explained some of the basics of singing. Soon he said, "Okay Connor, do you know any songs?"

Connor said, "Yeah I know some that Fa.. Holtz used to sing. Angel calls them Church songs."

"Wonderful, nothing like a little gospel to get the singing started. Why don't you sing one for me, and we'll see what kind of work we need to do."

Connor nodded and started singing. Two minutes later Lorne was holding his head and said in a strained voice, "Okay kid, lesson's over. Go have Fred fetch me a few aspirin. No… make that a bottle of aspirin. Have her bring it to my room."

Connor still didn't trust Lorne all that much, but he could tell Lorne was in some pain so he said, "Do you need some help getting up the stairs?"

"No. Just get Fred please."

Connor went to find Fred, and Lorne made his way into the kitchen where he pulled out a bottle of brandy and a glass to take to his room. He slowly made his way upstairs and into his room where a concerned Fred and Connor stood waiting with the aspirin. Lorne took the aspirin from Fred and said, "Thanks hon. Now I'm gonna lie down for a while."

Fred said, "What happened? Are you okay? Do we need to get some kind of doctor?"

"No. I'm fine. It's just a really bad headache, and I need to lie down for a while. Don't you kids worry, I'll be fine."

With that Lorne ushered them out of his room and shut his door. Fred and Connor just looked at each other. A few seconds later he opened it and put out a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob. He said to Fred, "I'll probably sleep until tomorrow. If I'm not awake by tomorrow night, then knock on the door."

Fred frowned, but said, "Okay."

Fred and Connor turned to go, and Fred said, "What happened?"

"I don't know. I was just singing like he told me to, and then when the song was over he was holding his head in pain."

"Well that's not good. We should tell Angel."

They found Angel in the office, and Fred told him what had happened. He thought it sounded bad as well. Connor said, "I don't get it. How could my singing give him a headache that quick?"

Angel said, "Lorne was reading you at the same time. I mean, I don't think he can help but read someone when they sing. It's just a part of it. I don't know what he saw in your future, but for some reason it made his head hurt."

Connor sounded a little panicked and said, "Does that mean I'm going to do something really bad? Like maybe I'll turn into a vampire and kill lots of people. How does Lorne know for sure what will happen in my future? I think he could be wrong."

Angel got up and put an arm around Connor's shoulder and said, "Now don't get upset Connor. We don't even know what this is all about. It could just be that you're a really bad singer like me, and that gave him a headache."

"He didn't get a headache from hearing you sing. I just know it's something terrible I'm going to do!"

Angel said, "You don't know that, and neither does anyone else. We need to let Lorne recover for the night, and then we can all find out together what the problem was tomorrow. Try not to worry about it until we know there is something to worry about Connor."

Connor didn't like it, but he nodded. Angel said, "We don't have any cases right now, so why don't you do your homework, and then we can watch some TV together, or maybe when it gets dark, we can go to the movies."

Connor nodded again, and walked off to start some homework. Once he had everything in front of him his mind wandered. He couldn't stop thinking about a variety of horrible futures for himself. He could picture himself killing Angel in front of everyone. He realized that that thought used to bring him pleasure when he lived with Holtz, but now it brought him a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He could see himself as a vampire, and he could see Angel trying to kill him while he killed all the other people in the hotel. After a while, he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to go kill something to get his mind off himself. He got up and headed for the front door. As soon as he put his hand on the front doorknob he suddenly had an image of an angry Angel standing in front of him, and then an image of himself over Angel's lap. He let go of the doorknob and thought, 'But I really need to get out.'

He turned around and stood thinking. Soon the weapon cabinet came into view, and he thought about Gunn. He smiled as he remembered what Gunn had told him the last time he ran off. Connor found Gunn in the kitchen with Fred. Connor said, "Gunn. I need to go out."

Gunn said, "Why?"

Connor frowned. He looked down and said, "Well… Last time you said…. And now I need to…"

Gunn said, "Oh, you need to go OUT. Okay. Fred, tell Angel we went out, and that we'll be back when we get back. I have my cell phone if he really needs us."

Fred had told Gunn about Lorne, and she could understand Connor being upset. She had some misgivings, but said, "Okay. You guys be careful, and you call us if you get into any kind of trouble."

Gunn nodded and put an arm around Connor's shoulders as they headed for the door.

Connor smiled and said, "Thanks Gunn."

Connor went straight to the sewers since it was still light outside, and he immediately started tracking. Half an hour later, he still hadn't come across any vampires or demons to kill. Gunn kept his distance, and was just being silent company. Connor said, "This is really strange."

Gunn came over to where Connor was crouching on the ground. He looked at the ground, but he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He said, "What?"

"I've been tracking a male vampire for a while, and his scent ends here. I can smell the death, but I can't smell what killed him. If it had been a human or another vampire, I would be able to detect their scent. It's a fresh kill, less than fifteen minutes old."

Gunn said, "Well that is strange, but I would say good too. Maybe the vamp dusted itself."

Connor looked at Gunn like he was insane, and Gunn said, "Okay maybe not. Well, it must have been some kind of demon that you can't smell. But if he's killing vampires, then he's okay in my book."

Connor put his finger to his lips gesturing to Gunn to be quiet. He turned and looked down the tunnel they had just come from.

After doing his tutoring session with Connor, Wesley had gone home early telling Angel that he had some research to do at home. He'd been home for a while when he heard a knock on the door. He got his gun and walked to the door looking through the peephole to see who it was. Lilah was looking right at him and soon winked. Wesley smiled and put his gun on the side table as he opened the door. As soon as Wesley had locked the door behind her, Lilah attached herself to him. They almost didn't make it to the couch before she knocked him over and ripped his shirt off.

Half an hour later they were lying together naked on the couch, and Wesley said, "You're really very beautiful."

Lilah smiled and said, "You don't have to say that to get me to keep coming back. In fact, you know I like you better when you're not nice."

Wesley looked kind of sad and said; "Does it always have to be like that."

Lilah looked into Wesley's eyes and said sincerely, "No."

Wesley kissed her tenderly and said, "How long can you stay?"

Lilah looked at the clock on the wall and said, "About fifteen more minutes."

Wesley sighed and said, "It would be a lot nicer if you could just spend the nights here."

"You know I can't."

"So what if Wolfram and Heart finds out? It has nothing to do with your work. Why should they care."

"You're working with the enemy. They will try to stop us from seeing each other. Besides, if I started spending the night, Angel would find out, and I don't think you want to talk to him about us."

"He already knows about our relationship."

Lilah laughed and said, "You called it a relationship first! You owe me a dollar!"

Wesley got a little red and looked for his wallet while he said, "Damn."

He tried to hand the dollar to her, but she shook her head and said, "Sign it first."

"Why?"

"As proof. Proof of this, of us."

Wesley signed the dollar and handed it to her. She took it and started kissing him.

Lilah's phone rang. She broke the kiss and looked for her phone on the floor. Once she found it, she answered it with, "I told you I'm off for the night. This better be good."

Wesley watched her while she listened to the problem. She started to get her clothes on while she listened. She said, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

She turned to Wesley and said, "Sorry lover. I've got to cut this short."

Wesley said, "Nothing's wrong I hope."

She stood there staring at him for a few seconds, and then seemed to make up her mind when she said, "It's Connor."

Back in the sewer, Gunn woke up on the cement floor and looked around for Connor. He groaned and held his head. He felt the lump and some dried blood on the back of his head. He yelled, "Connor! Connor can you hear me? Connor!"

He got no response, and looked for his cell phone.

At the hotel, Angel was walking out of his office when Wesley came in the front door. Wesley said, "Where's Connor?"

Angel said, "He's out with Gunn blowing off some steam. Why?"

"I think he's in danger."

Angel headed to the weapons cabinet, and Fred came in holding her cell phone to her ear. Fred said, "We'll be there as soon as we can. Bye."

Fred looked at Angel and said, "That was Gunn. He was with Connor tracking a vampire, and then something attacked them. He got knocked out, and he just woke up. He can't find Connor anywhere."

Wesley said, "What attacked them?"

"He never got a look at it."

Angel had a sword and said, "Let's go."

Connor was waking up, and found himself tied to a post. Before he opened his eyes, he tested the rope to see if he could get his hands or his feet loose. It was strong, but he could feel it start to give. He opened his eyes and looked around while he kept trying to get loose. In front of him he saw a little girl looking at him. He thought she looked to be about six or seven years old. He said, "Are you hurt?"

The girl shook her head, and said, "What are you?"

Connor said, "If you're not hurt, you should run. Try to find some stairs that go up, and get out of the sewer to the daylight before whatever that thing was comes back."

The girl said, "It's night now. You aren't a vampire, but you aren't human either. What are you?"

Connor almost had the ropes loose enough to free his hands, and he stopped. He sniffed the air. He looked at her suspiciously and said, "What are YOU?"

The girl giggled and said, "I'm a girl silly."

"No, you're not. You don't smell like a girl. In fact, you don't smell at all."

The girl looked mad and said, "You better tell me what you are, or I'm gonna hurt you."

"You're that monster that attacked us. Where is Gunn?"

The girl started to change shape, and grow. Soon it was a little taller than Connor was. It had silver skin and very long arms with claws at the end. Its eyes were swirling with different colors. It said, "Now you have seen my true form. Let me see yours."

Connor was looking all over for Gunn. He said, "Where is my friend? If you hurt him, I'll kill you."

"I left the human. I have no interest in him. Now let me see your true form!"

"This is my true form."

"Then what are you!"

Connor had his hands free, but kept them behind him as he started to work on wiggling his feet free. He said, "I don't know what I am!"

The monster said, "Liar!"

Connor said, "What do you want from me?"

"That depends on what you are. I came for vampire dust, but you might have something of value too."

Connor almost had his feet free when he heard foot steps in the distance. He said, "I have nothing of value. Why don't you untie me? I hunt vampires too. It sounds like we're working on the same side, and I could help you."

The monster laughed and said, "You're dumb enough to be a human. Let's cut you open, and see what's inside you."

The monster headed towards Connor with its claws aiming for Connor's stomach. Once it got in range, Connor pulled his hand around as fast as he could, and punched the monster on the side of his head. The monster wasn't expecting it and fell backwards. Connor reached down and got his feet loose. Connor heard something coming at him and ducked down even further, so the claws slashed through his shoulder instead of his head. Connor put all his weight into standing up and pushing his body into the monster's stomach at the same time. The monster went flying across the room. Connor started to go after the monster, and heard Angel yell, "Connor we're coming!"

They sounded close to Connor. He was about to kick the monster in the head, when it scrambled out of the way and onto its feet. They circled each other looking for a way to take the other down. Angel arrived before either one of them could get in another blow. He yelled, "Connor, get back. I don't know what that is, or what it could do to you."

The monster said in a sinister tone, "A vampire friend. That's why you smell wrong. I'll get him when I'm done with you."

Connor got really angry with that and said in a sinister tone of his own, "He's my dad, and I'm done with you."

Connor did a turning kick, and got the monster on the side of the head again. The monster fell and Angel headed towards them with his sword ready, but before he could get there, Connor followed the monster down. Connor grabbed the monster's head, and snapped his neck. The monster yelled but didn't die. It clawed Connor in the side, and tossed Connor off.

Angel yelled, "Stay down Connor! The other's are coming."

Angel brought his sword down on the monster. The monster caught the sword with its claws before it could cut him. He kicked Angel's feet out from under him, and let go of the sword at the same time, so that Angel fell. The monster tried to get on top of Angel, but Connor had gotten up, and kicked the monster in the side, which sent him flying against the wall of the tunnel. Angel jumped up and went towards the monster at the same time as Connor. Angel yelled, "I told you to stay down! Get back right now!"

Connor stopped in front of the monster that was getting up. Connor said, "It's my kill! You stay back! This thing just killed a vampire less than an hour ago."

The monster lunged for Connor as he was talking, and knocked him down. As the monster raised his arm to bring the claws down on Connor's face, Angel brought down his sword and decapitated the monster, just as Connor put his fist though the monster's stomach. The monster slumped dead on top of Connor. Angel kicked the monster off Connor, and at the same time Wesley, Fred, and Gunn ran into the room. Angel reached down, and hauled Connor up by the front of his shirt. Angel hugged him tight for a second, and then he held him at arm's length to look at him. He gave him a little shake and said, "I told you to stay back!"

Connor tried to shove Angel's hands off to no avail as he said, "And I told you it was mine to kill!"

Connor and Angel glared at each other. Fred came up to them and said, "Are you okay Connor? You're bleeding."

Angel grabbed Connor's shoulder to inspect it while Fred lifted Connor's shirt to look at his side. Connor tried to push Angel away as he said, "I'm fine."

Wesley and Gunn were looking at the monster's body. Wesley said, "I don't know what this is. I haven't seen one before."

Gunn said, "Me either. How about you Fred?"

Fred looked over at the monster and said, "I don't recognize it." Then she turned to Angel and said, "His side has stopped oozing, how about his shoulder?"

Angel had ripped Connor's shirt a little more so he could see the shoulder, and said, "It's still oozing, but it doesn't look too deep."

Connor yelled, "I'm right here you know!"

Angel ignored Connor's statement and said, "Take your shirt off, and hold it to your shoulder to stop the bleeding."

Connor thought about refusing just because he was pissed, but he could tell that Angel was mad too, so he did take off the shirt and hold it to his shoulder. Wesley said, "Do you think we should burn it to make sure it's dead?"

Angel went to look at the monster and said, "That's a good idea. The rest of us will head back to the hotel, and we'll meet you back there when you're done."

Fred, Gunn, and Angel headed towards the hotel, and Connor stayed where he was, and glared at Angel's back. Angel stopped a few feet away, but didn't turn around as he said, "Do I have to carry you?"

Connor continued to glare, but also started slowly walking towards home.

Once they got home Fred said, "Come on in the bathroom Connor, and we'll get you cleaned up."

Angel went to the lobby to put his sword away, and Gunn followed. In the lobby they saw that all the paperwork that had been on the counter, was now strewn all over the floor. They looked around to see if something was missing, and saw a foot sticking out from behind the counter. Angel cautiously approached the foot, and found an unconscious Lorne lying on the floor amongst the papers. Angel bent down and touched Lorne's shoulder. He said, "Lorne? Can you hear me? Are you okay?"

Lorne moaned and opened his eyes. He put his hand to his head and said, "Oww."

Angel helped him sit up and said, "Are you okay? What happened?"

"And I thought my head hurt before!"

Angel looked at Lorne expectantly. Lorne said, "It was Wolfram and Heart. They sucked out my reading of Connor."

Gunn looked confused. He said, "I don't understand."

"Well I don't exactly understand either. I know I was in my room trying to forget what I had learned from Connor, and then Lilah was here with some men. They had this big metal tube, and they stuck it in my head. I passed out once they turned it on."

Angel said, "So how do you know they sucked out Connor's reading?"

"Because I can't remember it. I know I was really scared, and I was wondering what to do before, but now I don't remember anything. I mean, I remember Connor singing… oh, and by the way he has your voice, poor kid….., but I can't remember what I learned about his future."

Angel helped Lorne get up and sit in a chair, while Gunn went and got Lorne an ice pack for his head and a glass of water. Fred and Connor came into the lobby, and saw Lorne. Fred said, "What happened?"

Lorne looked up and saw that Connor had a large bandage on his shoulder and on his side. He said, "Looks like your night was as good as mine. What happened to you?"

"Fought a monster. What happened to you?"

"Got my memories of reading you sucked out by Lilah and her cohorts."

At that moment, Wesley walked in and said, "Lilah?"

Lorne looked at Angel imploringly, and said, "I need to lie down for a few days. Can you explain please?"

"Sure Lorne. Gunn, will you help Lorne get to his room, and make sure he has whatever he needs?"

Once they were out of the room Angel told Connor, Fred, and Wesley the story Lorne had told them. Connor groaned and said, "So it's my fault."

Angel said, "I don't see how you came up with that."

Connor looked at Angel like he was dense and said, "My reading scared the crap out of Lorne, and Wolfram and Heart wanted it so bad that they sucked it out of Lorne's head. How can you not see it as my fault?"

"Connor, none of us knew what your singing for Lorne would do, and it was my idea for you to sing for him in the first place. You certainly don't have any control over Lilah, or any of the people at Wolfram and Heart, so you are not to blame for their actions."

Connor looked at the floor and said, "But my reading started it all. What could have been so bad?"

"I don't know son. We'll try and find out together starting tomorrow. Right now, I want you to go to your room and lie down. You need to give yourself some time to heal. We'll bring you some dinner in a little bit."

Connor looked upset and said; "I don't need to lie down. We should go after Lilah and those men."

Angel walked over to Connor so that he was standing right in his personal space. He said, "You are already in trouble for not listening to me when you were fighting that monster, little boy. Now, I know you're upset about Lorne's reading, but going after Lilah and Wolfram and Heart is not going to help in any way. You will go to your room, and you will lie down and rest. I'll let YOU decide if you're going to be resting on your stomach, or on your back for tonight."

Connor felt like he was ready to explode with anger and confusion. He wanted to punch Angel, but at the same time wanted to be hugged and reassured that things were really going to be all right. He yelled the first thing that came to his mind. "It was my kill!"

Angel said, "Okay Connor, stomach it is."

Angel grabbed Connor's upper arm and started walking them towards the stairs and Connor's room. He called behind him, "Fred, please make Connor some dinner. Wesley, don't leave. I want to talk to you in a few minutes."

Connor tried repeatedly to pull out of Angel's grip while Angel was talking, but he couldn't get away. Angel stopped at the foot of the stairs and said quietly to Connor, "If you don't stop that, I'll put you over my knee right here."

Connor looked into Angel's face and knew he was serious. He stopped struggling, and let Angel take him to his room.

Once they got to Connor's room Angel shut the door, and pulled Connor to the bed. Angel sat down on the end of the bed and put Connor across his lap. He made sure Connor's upper body was resting on the bed, and brought his hand down in the middle of Connor's jeans covered butt. It made a somewhat dulled 'Smack' sound. Connor got very still and tried to take it without crying. Angel kept spanking and said, "When I tell you to do something in a fight, you do it."

Connor didn't say anything, but he was starting to wiggle around in an attempt to avoid Angel's hand. Angel kept spanking and said, "I don't care if you think it was 'your kill' or not. We all fight as a team, and I'm the leader of that team, which means you follow my orders in a fight."

Connor said, "But I…. Mmff…. started it….. alone."

Angel increased the force behind the spanks and said, "Yes, but once I got there, then we were fighting it as a team. Just because you start a fight, doesn't mean that you get to finish it by yourself once I show up."

"Oowww…. Holtz….. Aahh… would have let me."

"Don't you mean he would have made you? You are part of MY family now, and we protect each other."

Connor's butt was really hurting, and his legs were kicking. He was close to tears when he said, "I was… Owwww… protecting you."

Angel stopped for a second and said, "I know son, and I do appreciate the fact that your heart was in the right place when you went after that monster, but I can hold my own in a fight. In fact I'm better than you are in a fight, but the point is that you didn't follow the rule. The rule is: You 'Smack' Will 'Smack' Do 'Smack' What 'Smack' I 'Smack' Tell 'Smack' You 'Smack' To 'Smack' Do 'Smack' In 'Smack' A 'Smack' Fight 'Smack'."

Connor was crying when Angel stopped. Angel rubbed Connor's back and said, "I love you Connor. You wouldn't believe how scared I was when I saw that monster on top of you, ready to claw your face. You will learn to follow my orders when we're fighting."

Connor stood up once he realized the spanking was over. Angel stood up with him, and pulled him into a hug. Connor held on to Angel and cried some more. Angel said, "It's over. You're forgiven. I know it's been a bad day for you son. Let's get you into bed, and Fred will bring you something to eat in a little bit so you can heal up."

Connor nodded and let go of Angel. He climbed on his bed and lay down on his stomach. Angel took off Connor's shoes for him and said, "Aren't you cold without a shirt? Do you want to climb under the covers? Or put a new shirt on?"

Connor shook his head no. Angel sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed Connor's back some more. He said, "I'm going to go talk to Wes for a while. You rest, and I'll come see you after you have some dinner."

When Angel got down stairs, he found Wesley standing in the same spot he had left him. Angel said, "Let's go talk in my office."

Wesley nodded and followed Angel. Once they were in the office with the door closed Angel said, "How did you find out about Connor being in trouble Wes?"

Wesley looked off into space and said in a confused voice, "Lilah told me. She was at my house, and she got a call about him. She told me he would need help, so I came to you."

Angel was not happy with this information. He said, "How the hell would Wolfram and Heart know he was in trouble? It doesn't make sense at all."

Wesley looked at Angel and said with conviction, "Yes it does. They knew about the trouble, because they caused the trouble some how. They were using it as a distraction to get Lorne alone. I can't believe I fell for it."

Angel said, "I guess we all fell for it."

"I'm sorry Angel."

"It's not your fault Wes. I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"I should never have trusted Lilah, it's just that I thought we were…."

"Go home and get some rest. In the morning, we'll all talk about what we are going to do about this."

Wesley nodded absentmindedly and headed for the door.

Angel went back up to Connor's room. Fred was there with a tray of food. She said, "He's asleep. Should we wake him?"

Angel nodded and said, "I heal better when I feed, so he probably will too."

Angel went over to the foot of Connor's bed and shook his foot while he said, "Connor wake up."

Connor groaned and said, "It hurts."

Angel said, "Wake up and eat. You'll feel better."

Connor started to sit up in bed, and then hissed and stood up instead. Angel said, "How does your shoulder feel?"

"It burns, and aches. So does my side, and my head, and my butt thanks to you."

Then Connor noticed Fred in the room and got a little red. Connor realized that everyone knew he got spanked, but he didn't want anyone besides Angel to know that it really hurt. He looked at the floor and said, "It's not really that bad."

Fred cleared her throat and said, "I brought you some leftover pizza and a bologna sandwich."

Connor said, "Thanks Fred."

Fred put the tray on the desk and said, "Okay. Well, I'll see you in the morning."

Connor nodded. Once she was gone Connor glared at Angel and whispered, "You could have warned me she was here."

Angel gave Connor a tolerant smile and said, "I didn't think it would matter to you."

Connor went over to his desk and started eating standing up. Angel said, "Do you want some medicine for the pain? I mean the pain in your shoulder and side of course."

Connor rolled his eyes and said, "No Dad. Pain is part of life. If you can't feel the pain, then you don't know you're alive. It will be gone by tomorrow anyway."

Angel was surprised by that statement and said, "That sounds like Holtz. Not like you."

Connor thought about it, and realized Holtz had told him this many times. He wondered if he really believed it or not. He said, "You're right about that. Holtz did tell me that, but I do kind of believe it. If you think it's wrong, I'll take the medicine."

Angel said, "As long as you are not keeping the pain to punish yourself, I don't think it's wrong. But I also don't think it's wrong to take medicine if you're in pain. It's up to you."

Connor thought some more and said, "I'll be fine."

Angel said, "After you eat, you go to bed. Tomorrow we'll all sit down together and decide what to do with this new information."

Connor nodded and said, "Okay."

Angel pulled Connor into another hug and kissed his head. He said, "Good night." on his way out.

When Wesley got home, he found the dollar bill that he had given Lilah on the floor by the couch. He took it and decided to pay her a visit. He knocked on her apartment door. She answered and said, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Wesley said, "You tricked me. I can't believe I was so gullible."

Lilah sighed and said, "If I thought you could have ever really loved me, I never would have played you."

Wesley held out the dollar for her to take. She took it, and he turned and left.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors note: This chapter contains spoilers for the episode 'Supersymmetry'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 9

Connor woke up, and felt pain in his shoulder. He remembered last night, and dragged himself out of bed to examine the damage in the bathroom mirror. He saw that his side was mostly healed up. He still had some bruises, but the skin had healed. When he took the bandage off his shoulder he could see that the cuts had not healed all the way yet, but they looked much better than the day before. He was happy to note that his butt didn't hurt anymore at all, and his headache was gone. He took a hot shower, and got dressed for the day. When he was done, he realized it was pretty late even for the hours that the people at Angel Inc. seemed to keep. He went downstairs to see where everyone was. Fred, Gunn, Angel, and Wesley were all eating in the lobby and talking. Angel was saying, "I guess we should wake them up soon."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he turned and saw Connor on the stairs. He said, "Glad you're up. I was just about to wake you. Come and have some late breakfast."

Connor nodded and went to get himself a plate. While Connor was eating, Fred went to wake Lorne. While she was gone Angel said, "How are your wounds this morning Connor?"

Connor said with a full mouth, "Fine."

Angel went over and said, "Let's see."

Connor rolled his eyes, but pulled his tee shirt up so Angel could see his side. Angel gave a nod of approval, and Connor pushed his sleeve up so Angel could see the shoulder. Angel said, "Looks good."

Lorne came down the stairs in his pajamas and robe. He was holding his head still, and didn't look so great. Angel said, "How are you this morning Lorne?"

"I feel like someone split my head in two with a sword."

Connor choked on his food noisily.

Lorne smiled a little and said, "Not like some one cut it off little man. That doesn't hurt nearly as much."

Lorne sat on the couch and Fred brought him a plate with some food. Angel said, "Good. Now that we're all here, we have a few things to talk about. First is Lorne, do you remember anything at all about what you read from Connor?"

Lorne shook his head and said, "I'm sorry Angel, but I don't."

Angel said, "Could you read him again?"

Lorne gave Angel a very disapproving look, and Angel felt a little embarrassed and looked away when he said, "I guess that might not be the best idea."

Lorne said, "I guess not."

Angel looked at Wesley, and said, "So do you know why Wolfram and Heart wants this information?"

"I'm sorry Angel, but I have no idea. I mean, I'm sure they want all the information they can about Connor's future, and yours as well, but they have never tried to take anything from Lorne's head before. I don't know what was in that reading that they're so anxious to get."

Gunn said, "So let's get it back."

Wesley said, "How do you propose to do that?"

"Let's break into Wolfram and Heart, and steal the information back. It's not like Angel hasn't broken in there before."

Connor said, "Yes. Let's do that."

Angel said, "I don't think that's the best idea. If Lilah was willing to come here and hurt Lorne for the information, it's going to be very well guarded. They'll be expecting us."

Fred said, "But if we don't get the information, what will they do with it? I'm sure they won't be using it for any kind of good."

Everyone thought for a minute and soon Angel said, "I think we should wait for a couple of days and see what happens. I'm not willing to risk any of us getting hurt going there. Wes, if you can find anything out from Lilah, it would be helpful."

Wesley said, "I think that will be difficult, as I don't intend to see her again."

Angel nodded and said, "Okay, then let's just see what happens in the next few days. I mean, Lorne's readings are just possible futures. Not exactly what will happen."

Connor looked angry and said, "So that's your big plan? Let's all sit on our asses and wait for something to happen. That's great Dad."

Angel said, "I know what you want to do Connor, and it's not going to happen. We have gone over seeking vengeance before. Going to Wolfram and Heart and terrorizing the lawyers might be fun for you, but it wouldn't do us any good, and it would probably end up with you getting hurt or killed. Plus, even with all of us working together, we probably couldn't get the information we were looking for just because of the sheer number of them."

Connor said, "Whatever."

Three days later things were back to normal. Nothing had happened with Wolfram and Heart, and Lorne and Connor had both fully recovered. Lorne had decided to teach Connor music appreciation instead of how to sing, and they spent their time going over many forms of music and how they originated. Connor thought about going over to see Lilah, and the people at Wolfram and Heart every day, but he knew he couldn't get away with it without Angel finding out, and he didn't want to be in trouble again. On the third day after the meeting, Connor and Lorne were listening to some Mozart when they heard Fred yelling. They rushed in to see her hugging and kissing Gunn. She said, "Can you believe it Charles?"

"Of course I can believe it. You deserve it."

Connor said, "What's going on?"

Angel who was standing in the doorway of his office said, "Fred got an article published, and she has been asked to present her physics theory at a convention tomorrow."

Lorne said, "Fred sweetie that's terrif."

"Thanks Lorne. I have to go work on my speech. You'll all be there to see me right?"

Gunn smiled and said, "Of course we will."

"Great. This is going to be so… just great!"

With that last comment, Fred ran off to the room she shared with Gunn to start working on her speech.

Connor mumbled "I don't understand half of the stuff she says when we're researching, and now I have to listen to her give a speech on physics. That sounds like fun."

Angel heard him and said, "She would do it for you if the tables were turned."

Connor gave Angel a look that seemed to say 'don't be stupid' and said, "I know Dad. I didn't say I wouldn't go. I said it wouldn't be fun. Big difference."

Angel nodded and everyone got back to work.

The next day Wesley was in his apartment reading the article that Fred had written, when someone knocked on the door. He opened it to find Lilah with a large wrapped box. Wesley stepped aside and let her in. She handed him the box and he said, "Is this a bribe? Or is it the beginning of another scheme?"

Lilah took this in stride and said, "Can't it just be a gift?"

Wesley looked skeptical. Lilah said, "Open it."

Wesley opened it to find a very old knight's helmet. He said, "This must have cost you a fortune."

Lilah said, "It did. Lucky for you, I have the afternoon off so you can repay me."

She walked up to Wesley and started to kiss him. He started to kiss her back, but soon pulled away. He said, "Actually I have to go. But thank you for… the gift."

Wesley walked out and left Lilah there. Lilah sighed and sat on the couch looking defeated. She glanced at the magazine Wesley had been looking at, and saw the article by Fred.

At the convention Fred was very nervous to be going up in front off all the people there. Gunn was trying to calm her down, while Angel and Connor were looking board sitting in a middle row. As people were coming in Connor saw a very pretty girl with red hair who looked to be about his age arriving. He thought about going up to her and trying to make some kind of small talk, and then realized he would have nothing to say. He thought, 'Here I am at a physics convention at the local university, and I can't even pass my High School GED yet.'

The more he thought about it, the more grateful he was to Angel for making him do the tutoring with everyone, even if it wasn't his favorite thing to do on a daily basis. As he was watching the girl he saw her smile and wave at a nerdy looking boy who waved back and went to sit by her. They were soon deep in conversation, and Connor thought, 'Oh well. We would have nothing in common anyway. I can't just go up to a girl and say, 'Hey I killed three vampires last night.' and expect her to be friendly.'

Soon Wesley arrived and sat next to Angel. Wesley said, "Sorry I'm late. I got a little side tracked."

Angel said, "I thought it was over between you two."

Wesley looked a little perturbed and said, "I think smelling people should classify as invasion of privacy."

Angel didn't respond. Wesley said, "Where's Lorne?"

Angel said, "His nasty headache came back. But I think that had more to do with the fact that Fred practiced her speech on him three times than anything else."

Gunn was following Fred around the room and meeting people. Soon Fred saw one of her old professors. She called out, "Professor Seidel?"

The professor turned and said, "Winifred? Winifred Burkle?"

Fred nodded, and the professor said, "How many years has it been? Two or three at least. It's so good to see you."

Fred smiled and said, "It's been more like six years, and it's great to see you too. This is my boyfriend Charles."

Gunn shook hands with the Professor, and Fred said, "Are you presenting?"

Professor Seidel said, "No. Actually I heard you were presenting, and I asked if I could introduce you. It isn't often one of my best students comes back with an amazing theory."

Fred looked pleased, and said, "It's not that amazing. It will probably be proven wrong in a few weeks."

"It's a brilliant theory Winifred. Now we should be getting to the stage. The first speaker is supposed to start soon."

Gunn went to sit by Connor, and Fred went with the Professor to the chairs on the stage.

After the first speaker Connor had a hard time staying awake. He wished he had brought his game boy, but he was pretty sure Angel wouldn't have let him play it anyway. Next Fred was up. She looked a little nervous, but soon got into the speech. As Fred was speaking, both Angel and Connor turned around to the back of the room at the same time. They had heard and smelled Lilah. She stood and listened to Fred for about three minutes. Then she got on her cell phone and walked out. A couple more minutes into the speech, and a cloud started to form over Fred. Fred was starting to falter in her speech because of the noises around her. She looked up to see a portal opening up above her. Out of the portal came several long tentacles with teeth reaching for Fred. Fred screamed as Angel, Connor, Gunn, and Wesley all ran to the front. Fred was being pulled into the portal by one of the tentacles, so Gunn grabbed Fred's legs, and Angel and Connor tried to pry the tentacles off her. Wesley grabbed a knife off a strap on the side of his leg under his jeans. He stabbed one of the tentacles.

Connor noticed a flash of light coming from behind him, and noticed the nerdy boy was taking pictures of the tentacles and Fred. The girl next to him just looked fascinated. He was brought back to the fight as one of the tentacles whacked him in the side of his body and sent him flying towards the boy with the camera. Connor knocked both the girl and boy down as he landed. He got up as quickly as possible and went back into the fight. Soon Angel had a knife, and together with Wesley they gave the tentacles enough wounds that they let go of Fred. Soon the portal closed, and the tentacles were gone. They all stood around in a protective stance while Gunn held a crying Fred close saying, "It's okay baby. We've got you."

Connor turned to check and see if the kids he had knocked down were okay, but they were gone.

Angel barked out, "Connor and Wes you're with me. Gunn get Fred home and take care of her."

Gunn and Fred made their way out of the room. Angel said, "Lilah was here seconds before the portal opened Wes."

Wesley looked surprised and said, "I don't think she would intentionally hurt Fred. She would have nothing to gain from that."

Angel said, "She would gain all of your attention."

Wesley looked away and said, "I don't think she would do it."

Angel said, "Well, I'm just going to go make sure. I want you two to see if you can get a list of all the names of the people invited to this convention."

Connor thought for a second. He said, "Did either of you see those two kids here? I knocked them both over when one of the tentacles hit me. The boy was taking pictures of the tentacles, and the girl didn't look scared at all. In fact she looked like she found it interesting. When we were done fighting they were gone." 

Angel said, "Okay, you track them with Wesley, and find out if they know anything. I'll go chat with Lilah."

Connor nodded and Wesley said, "Angel…. all right. See you back at the hotel."

Angel found Lilah in her car. She was still in the parking garage. Angel ripped the top off her convertible and said, "Lilah, we need to talk."

Lilah looked up at him from the driver's seat and said, "If this is about Lorne I could have had him killed you know. You should be thanking me for letting him live."

Angel said, "I do want to talk about that, but first lets talk about Fred."

"What about twig girl?"

"What about a portal opening up right after you leave the room?"

Lilah gave Angel an excited look and said happily, "Really? Is she hurt?"

Angel said, "We took care of it before she could get hurt."

Lilah sighed and said, "Oh well. Look if I wanted to kill the girl, she would have been dead long ago. Besides that's the kind of thing Wesley couldn't forgive."

Angel glared and said, "But sucking Lorne's reading out is?"

Lilah looked exasperated and said, "I thought I told you, that you should be happy I didn't have him killed. Try to keep up Angel. I didn't do anything to hurt Fred, and I wouldn't. But I would be happy if someone else did."

Angel looked at her and believed her. He said, "We'll talk again about Lorne."

Lilah rolled her eyes and said, "Another threat from you. How boring." She drove off, and Angel let her go.

Back at the campus Connor was tracking the two kids, and Wesley was following. Connor stopped in front of a comic book shop. He said, "The boy is in here, but the girl went that way." He pointed down the street. Wesley said, "I'll talk to the boy and see what I can find out. Then I'll go back and try to get that list. You track the girl and talk to her. Ask her why she was there, and what she knows about the portal. Try to find out her name and where she lives in case we want to talk to her again. Oh, and try not to scare her. And for goodness sakes don't hurt her."

Connor rolled his eyes and tried to ignore that last comment. He remembered Angel saying, 'Wes is sometimes an ass, and you just have to try not to let it bother you. Just tell me about it later, and I'll try to talk to him.' Connor nodded and said, "I'll meet you back at the hotel."

Wesley went in to find the boy, and found out from a quick conversation that the boy thought he was an expert on the paranormal. He had a website filled with strange occurrences including a section on missing women from the campus he belonged to. He convinced Wesley that he just went to see the girl who had gone missing six years ago, and seeing the portal open up right there was just a coincidence. Wesley wrote down the web address, and went to go get the list of names from the convention.

Connor tracked the girl to a dorm room. He knocked on the door. The red haired girl answered the door. She smiled at him and said, "Oh, it's you."

She opened the door wide to let him come in. Connor stepped in and looked around. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He held out his hand and said, "Hi, my name's Connor."

She shook his hand and said, "Hi Conner. I'm Julie."

Connor said, "I saw you at the conference. I knocked you over, when I was fighting, and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"How sweet of you. I'm just fine. It was great the way you were all fighting that thing."

Connor stood there for a minute and said, "Do you like physics? Is that your major?"

Julie laughed and said, "No way. That stuff is way above my head. I'm a philosophy major, but I really am interested in astrology, and mystical things."

"Then why were you at the convention?"

Julie grabbed Connor's hand and led him to her bed. They both sat down, and Julie said in a hushed voice, "I went with Freddie to see the girl."

Connor was confused with what she said, but he was also distracted that he was sitting on her bed next to her, and she was still holding his hand. He said, "What girl?"

"The girl you and your friends saved. I read all about her on Freddie's web site. She went missing about six years ago, and no one had heard from her since. Now she just pops up out of no where with this article. Wasn't that monster thing fascinating? How could it just come out of thin air like that?"

Connor stated matter-of-factly, "It was a portal from another dimension."

Julie stared at him wide eyed, and said, "Really?"

"Well, yeah."

"That's amazing. How do you know?"

"I was raised in another dimension."

Julie gasped and said, "This is the best day ever! First I get to see a portal to another dimension, and now I get to meet someone who has been to another dimension. That is just so cool."

Connor thought something was wrong with how she was accepting all this, but he hadn't had much contact with other people yet, so he wasn't sure if it was normal or not. Then he thought maybe it wasn't such a great idea to tell her all about himself like that. He knew Angel often lied to clients to keep them from knowing the whole truth because he thought it would disturb them. He said, "Okay, well, I just wanted to check on you. I can see you're okay, so I'll just go."

Julie pouted and said, "But it was just getting interesting. Please don't go. Tell me about the other dimension you were in."

Connor said, "I've got to go. My friends will be waiting."

"Well, at least come back and see me. How about tomorrow? I could take you out for a Mocha, and you could tell me all about the other dimension."

Connor hesitated. He liked the way Julie smelled, and he liked sitting close to her, but he thought she was a bit off too. He said, "I'm not sure Julie."

"Tomorrow's Saturday. You can't be busy ALL day. Please come see me."

Connor thought about it and said, "I'll come see you if I can."

They both stood up, and Julie said, "Goody."

She opened her door and kissed Connor's cheek as she said, "I'm looking forward to tomorrow."

She shut the door on a stunned Connor. He just stood there for a few seconds trying to figure out what had happened. He shook himself out of it, and headed back to the hotel.

Once Connor got home, he got together with Angel and Wesley to find out what they had learned. Connor started with, "How's Fred?"

Angel said, "She's upstairs with Gunn. She'll be fine. She's still a little freaked out. Having that portal open up above her has brought back all her memories from Pylea, and they are not very nice memories. She got a call from her old professor. I think that helped. She's going to see him tomorrow to talk about rescheduling her presentation."

Connor nodded and Angel said, "I don't think Lilah did it."

Wesley let out a sigh of relief. He said, "Then why do you think she was there?" 

"Checking up on you and the competition."

Wesley cleared his throat and said, "I don't think the boy, Freddie, did it. I have a website address that he runs, and we can research it when we're done here. He is interested in the paranormal, but I don't think he really knows that much about it."

Connor said, "I don't think the girl, Julie, did it. She was just interested in Freddie's website too."

Soon the three of them were looking at the website, and reading all about the disappearances of eight different women. They had all gone to the same college, but that seemed to be all they had in common. Later that night, they all went to bed wondering who else would want to hurt Fred.

The next morning Fred seemed to be a little more like herself again, and Gunn was ready to find the person who had hurt his girl. Wesley, Angel, and Connor brought Gunn, Lorne, and Fred up to speed on what they had discovered. Fred had been shocked to learn that there may have been other women who ended up getting sent into a portal too. Lorne said, "There are at least three guys that I know who used to come to my club who would know how to open portals. Do you guys want to go check them out?"

Angel said, "That sounds like a great idea. We can split into teams and get it done faster. Fred and Gunn why don't you take the first one, and Wes…."

Fred interrupted with; "I have an appointment to go see Professor Seidel this morning."

"Okay, then while you and Gunn go see the Professor, the rest of us can go interview these guys."

Fred smiled and said, "I don't need a babysitter, you guys go find out what you can from Lorne's contacts."

Gunn said, "I don't really feel comfortable letting you go alone when we don't know who did this, or why."

"I'll go."

Angel looked at Connor and said, "You're passing up possible fighting with demons to go to the college campus and listen to Fred talk to her Professor?"

Connor looked at the ground and said, "Well, I want to make sure Fred's okay too, and maybe we can go to the bookstore after."

Angel smiled and said, "Okay son. Sounds good to me, how about you Gunn."

"Okay."

While the rest of the gang was visiting various people and demons that worked with portals, Fred and Connor went to the campus. As they got close to the Professor's office Connor said, "Hey Fred, would it be okay with you if I just met you at the bookstore when you're done? You don't really need a babysitter like you said."

Fred laughed and said, "If anyone is the babysitter here, it's me babysitting you."

Connor blushed and said; "You know what I mean."

Fred said, "Sure Connor that's fine. You want to meet at the campus bookstore? That's the one right over there with the coffee shop attached."

"That would be great Fred. Thanks."

Connor went to Julie's room and knocked on the door. After a minute or two, a sleepy looking Julie answered the door in her nightie. Connor stared at her, and Julie said, "Oh Connor! How great that you came. Come in, come in."

Connor walked in, still staring and looking her over. He said, "Sorry I woke you up."

"That's okay. I'm so glad you came. Let me go freshen up in the bathroom, and then we can talk."

Connor nodded and watched while she gathered her clothes, and a bathroom bag. He was especially pleased when she pulled out some jeans from the bottom drawer of her dresser, and he could see her panties. She said, "I'll be back in a sec."

While she was gone Connor looked around her room. He looked at her bookshelf, and noticed that it was full of books on Astrology and the paranormal. He picked up one on the current theory on vampires and had a good laugh.

Once Julie got back Connor said, "Let's go to the campus bookstore, and have a coffee there."

Julie smiled and said, "Great. I could use a mocha to help get me going."

As they started walking towards the bookstore Julie took Connor's hand. He wasn't sure what that meant, but she didn't seem to think there was anything odd about it. She said, "So do you live on campus too?"

"No. I don't go to school here. I live with my Dad, and his friends in a hotel."

"You live with your dad? How awful. I couldn't live with my dad."

"Why not?"

"He would just be on me all the time. He would have something to say about anything and everything I did. I would hate that. I mean, I'm eighteen, you know. I don't want him interfering with my life now."

Connor thought about it for a minute and said, "Yeah. I do hate it sometimes, but it's not bad all the time."

"So, why do you guys live in a hotel?"

"I'm not really sure. I guess it isn't really a hotel anymore. My dad owns it, and runs his business out of the hotel, but no one besides us stays there."

"What kind of business?" 

"Private investigations."

"Wow, that sound exciting."

"Sometimes. I guess."

They had reached the bookstore, and they both ordered a drink. Julie insisted on paying. They found a table in the back and sat down. Julie said, "So tell me about the other dimension, and how you got there."

Connor wasn't sure what to tell her, and what to leave out. He was pretty sure no one wanted all the gruesome details of Quor-toth. He decided on a fairly abbreviated version. He said, "I was stolen from my Dad when I was an infant. The man who took me hated my father, and wanted him to suffer. His name was Holtz. My dad was trying to get me back, but then there was this…. other person who wanted him, and me dead. This other person opened a portal while my dad and Holtz were fighting. Holtz grabbed me and jumped into the portal. It had closed by the time my dad tried to jump through."

Julie said, "That's terrible. So how did you get back here? And when did your dad get you back?"

Connor said, "Well time went faster in this other dimension. So I grew up there with Holtz being my Father. I found a way back to this dimension by following some slug like creatures into a cave. I just got back to this dimension about four months ago, but my Dad had only been missing me for about a month before I showed up again, so he didn't have much time to get over the loss of the baby that I was."

Julie just stared at him for a while. Finally she put her hand over his on the table and said, "I guess I can understand why you would still be living with your dad then. So tell me what the other dimension was like. What did it feel like to go though the portal?"

Connor gave her an abbreviated description of Quor-toth, and as he talked she started to rub her hand up and down his thigh under the table.

Fred spent some time just roaming the halls, and looking at her old school. Soon she went to meet with the Professor. She had a very nice time discussing her theory with him, and she even told him about Pylea. He seemed skeptical, but since he had seen a portal open up above Fred yesterday, he didn't protest too much. After half an hour of talking, the Professor said, "I would really like to talk some more, but I must be going."

Fred stood to go and said, "I would like that. It has been really nice catching up with you."

The Professor said, "Oh, if you could wait her for just a minute, I have a book I would like to loan you. It's something another one of my former students wrote, and I think you will find it interesting."

Fred nodded and the Professor went into the lab that was next to his office to find the book. While Fred was waiting she looked at the Professor's books, and saw one that she thought was out of place. She picked it up, and saw it was a book on portals. She opened it and saw the same portal with the tentacles that had tried to take her, and as she flipped though the book, she also saw pictures of Pylea. She heard the Professor coming back, and quickly put the book away. She gave the Professor a fake smile and said, "Thanks for the book. I'm sure it will be interesting."

Connor was having a very good time in the coffee shop. It seemed like Julie really liked him, and she hadn't told him that she didn't believe what he was saying. He thought maybe she could be like Fred or Cordy, and could be part of their group. His thoughts were interrupted when a very anxious looking Fred came into the room. She franticly searched for him, and he waved at her. She came over and said, "We need to leave now."

Connor could tell something was very wrong so he said, "Okay."

Fred turned to walk out the door. Connor stood, turned to Julie, and said, "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."

Julie smiled and said, "That would be nice."

Once they were outside headed towards the parking lot, Connor said, "What's wrong Fred?"

"The professor that I went to see was the one who sent me to Pylea six years ago."

Connor stopped walking and said, "What do you want me to do to him?"

Fred turned and looked at Connor for a minute. She said, "Nothing. I need a little time to think. I need to decide."

Connor nodded and followed Fred. The rest of the ride home was silent.


	10. Chapter 10

Once they got to the hotel Fred went strait to the weapons cabinet. She started looking through them until she found a small ax. She had started muttering to herself. Connor stood by the front door watching her, but he wasn't sure what to do. Angel and Gunn walked in, talking about the demon they had gone to see. They saw that Fred was obviously in a state, and Gunn went to her and said, "What's wrong?"

"It was him. It was Professor Seidel. He was the one who opened the portal, and he was the one who sent me to Pylea. How could he do that Charles? I trusted him, and he sent me to hell. I don't even know why!"

Angel said, "How do you know Fred?"

"There was a book in his office. It explained how to open portals, and even had some pictures of Pylea, and the thing with tentacles. He just sat there and listened to me talk about portals and how I had been sent to Pylea. He pretended to be skeptical, and I kept thinking about how much I wanted him to believe me. How much I wanted him not to think I was crazy."

Gunn turned to Angel and said, "So what are we gonna do?"

Fred gave Gunn a glare and said, "Not we, me. I'm going to go kill him. He's a mass murderer, but in a way that the police will never believe. I'll make sure he never sends another girl away from her family."

Both Gunn and Angel said "What!"

Fred looked at Gunn and said, "I'm gonna kill him, Charles. I'm gonna make it slow and painful. Make him suffer the way I suffered, and the way all those other girls suffered too."

Gunn said, "Let's just think about this Fred. You don't want to kill anyone. It isn't what we're about here."

Angel stepped over to them and said, "Gunn is right Fred. You don't want to do this. Taking vengeance isn't right. There are always other ways. Taking vengeance will not bring those five years of your life back."

Fred looked at both of them and said, "I can't believe the two of you! Did you hear anything that I said! He was the one. He put me in Pylea. How can you expect me to sit around and do nothing!"

Gunn said, "We didn't say do nothing. We just want you to wait for a little bit, and let us think of a way to get him without you killing him."

Fred gripped the ax a little more firmly and said in a deadly calm voice, "Don't try to stop me."

Connor had been watching this whole thing play out, and he was confused. First he was confused that Gunn and Angel weren't getting weapons themselves to go help Fred get the guy, but the more he heard Gunn and Angel talk with Fred the more he got it. He kept thinking about when he had taken revenge on Angel for his supposed crimes, and how mad Fred was about it when he did. He went up to her and said, "You were so mad at me for taking vengeance on Angel that you tazered me and tied me to a chair, and now you want to go take vengeance yourself. I don't get it."

Fred yelled, "It's not the same at all! Angel hadn't done anything wrong!"

"So if he had really killed Holtz, it would have been okay with you that I sent him to the bottom of the ocean in a box?"

"No!"

"Then why is it okay for you?"

Fred yelled "Stay out of it Connor! You don't understand."

"Yes I do."

Fred slapped Connor as hard as she could. Connor felt it, but it didn't really hurt him very much physically. Everyone in the room was silent for a few seconds. Then Connor said quietly, "Okay Fred. I… I'm sorry."

He turned and slowly walked up the stairs to his room. Fred couldn't believe what she had done. She almost never lost her temper especially with Connor. Gunn was looking at her with disappointment in his eyes, and Angel was glaring at her. Gunn said, "Give me the ax Fred."

She handed him the ax and looked at the floor. Gunn rubbed her shoulder and said quietly, "I promise we'll find a way to get this guy. No one hurts my girl and gets away with it."

Fred said, "I…. I think I need to go lay down and think about this for a little while. I need to be alone."

Gunn gave her a quick hug and said, "Okay. I'll come check on you in a few hours."

Fred nodded and walked upstairs.

Connor had walked upstairs and lay down on his bed. The more he thought about Fred hitting him, the more upset he got. He thought, 'Fred hit me. I shouldn't even care. It didn't really hurt, but she hit me. Maybe I was way out of line. Maybe if she hadn't hit me, Dad would have. Maybe she hates me, and thinks that I just get in the way all the time. If that's true, then I should try and stay out of her way. But I thought she… loved me.'

Connor was surprised to find himself crying. He thought, 'What a complete loser I am. I didn't cry when she used the tazer on me, and that hurt a lot. Now I'm crying from a slap that I can't even feel anymore. But I didn't trust her then. I didn't think of her as part of my family.'

Fred was walking to her room, when she passed Connor's room. She could hear him crying. She felt even more guilt then before. She knocked on his door.

Connor was startled out of his thoughts by the knock on the door. He could tell by the knock that it wasn't Angel, and suspected it was Fred. He wiped his face off, and tried to stop sniffling. He said, "Come in."

Fred came in, and looked at Connor. She thought he looked as miserable as she felt. He looked kind of lost. She went over to the bed and sat down. She looked at him for a second, and then pulled him into a hug. Connor found himself crying again, even though he didn't want to. Fred said, "I'm sorry Connor. I lost my temper, and took it out on you. I really didn't mean it."

Connor held onto her tightly and tried to stop crying. Fred started rubbing his back while she held him, and he said, "I… I thought…. You….. (Sniff)… Hated me."

Fred hugged him tighter and said, "Don't ever think that Connor. I love you."

Connor said, "I love you too."

They sat there quietly for a few minutes comforting each other.

When Connor was no longer sniffling, Fred let go of him and sat back. She looked at him and said, "Your face isn't even red."

Connor laughed a little and said, "It didn't really hurt."

Fred laughed a little too and then said, "Good. I'm gonna go be alone for a little while."

"Aren't you gonna go get that professor?"

"Gunn and Angel talked me out of it… for now."

Connor thought about it for a second and said, "If you still want to get him, I'll go with you."

Fred ruffled his hair and said, "Thanks Connor, but I don't think Angel would think that was so great an idea."

Connor nodded and said, "I would still do it for you."

Fred said, "We'll see."

She ruffled his hair again, and went out the door. As she shut the door to Connor's room she saw Angel standing a few feet away. He said, "I'm glad you two made up, but I want you to know it's not okay with me that you hit him just because you were pissed."

Fred looked down and said, "I know. I'm sorry, and it won't happen again."

"It better not."

When Fred looked up, Angel was halfway back down the hall. She went to her room and thought about everything.

Connor had heard what Angel had said. He thought, 'Why would Dad care? He has to know that she didn't really hurt me. If she didn't hurt me, then why was I crying? Maybe she did hurt me, just not physically. How could Angel know that? I guess he knows me better than I thought.'

Gunn was anxiously awaiting Angel's return. When Angel got back downstairs, Gunn said, "We have to do something about this guy before Fred does."

Angel said, "I agree. Let's go take anther look at that website to see if we can find a reason the Professor would have sent all those girls into other dimensions. Then we can go pay him a visit and get a confession."

Fred went to her room for a few minutes, but soon she couldn't stand it anymore. She decided that if Gunn and Angel weren't ready to help her, she would to go see the professor herself. As she was headed for the front door Wesley walked in. She was very happy to see him, and knew that he would understand. She said quietly, "Wesley, I need your help."

Wesley was always more than happy to see Fred, and would do anything she asked, because he loved her even if she didn't love him back. He said, "Of course."

Fred talked him into going to his apartment to talk alone, and they left without anyone else noticing.

Connor decided to go see what was going on downstairs. He found Gunn and Angel looking at Freddie's website in the office. Angel had just found that all the missing girls were very smart, and pursuing a carrier in the field of physics. Gunn thought the Professor was jealous of his students. Angel said, "Well, let's go get him, and see what he has to say."

Connor nodded and said, "Let's go get him for Fred."

Angel said, "I would really appreciate it if you could stay here and make sure Fred is okay. Just kind of hang out and make sure she doesn't leave. I don't want her to do something that she's gonna regret."

Connor said, "I would rather go with you. Gunn should stay here with Fred. I can't make Fred stay if she doesn't want to. Well, I could, but that wouldn't be right."

Gunn said, "I know this will be hard for you to understand Connor, but I need to go get this guy for Fred. She is my better half, and I love her. I need to be a part of bringing this guy down. And before you say it, I know that you love Fred too, but it's just different."

Connor said, "Why don't we ask Fred who she wants to stay with her."

Angel looked annoyed, and said, "No Connor. You stay like I asked you to, and watch Fred. Gunn and I will go get this guy. If you can't stop her from going, then go with her, and make sure she doesn't get hurt."

Connor didn't like it at all when Angel started giving orders, but he also knew there wasn't much he could do about it. He glared and said, "Fine."

Angel and Gunn had to take the sewers since it was still daylight out. Connor went to the kitchen and got a snack while he thought about how unfair it all was. Soon he decided he didn't care what Angel said. Fred was fine by herself, and he wanted to help get the guy. He thought he could beat Gunn and Angel there, because he could take the surface streets, and he could run without Gunn slowing him down. He knew it would be satisfying to beat up the man who had hurt Fred. He hadn't ever beaten up a human, but he knew he would have to be careful not to really damage him. He left the hotel at a run.

Wesley and Fred had reached his apartment quickly. He had asked her why she wasn't going to Gunn, and he was surprised to hear that she wanted to take vengeance on the man who had hurt her. He knew Angel wouldn't go for that sort of thing, and he suspected that Gunn would rather do it himself than let Fred do it. He told her that he would help her, and they talked over some options for Fred. They quickly found the way they wanted to hurt the professor, and headed over to the campus. When they got to the campus Fred said, "Wesley, I really need to do this alone. You understand don't you?"

Wesley nodded and said, "Alright Fred."

Fred got out of the car, and watched while Wesley drove off. She was a little surprised that no one stopped her from walking into the building while she was holding a crossbow, but no one did.

Connor arrived ahead of everyone else. He found the professor working at his desk. As he walked towards the man, Professor Seidel said, "Can I help you son?"

No one had called Connor 'son' except Angel, and he found it made his skin crawl. He walked up to the man with a pleasant boyish smile on his face, and when he got close enough, he punched the professor in the face. The professor fell over out of his chair and passed out. Connor yelled, "Get up."

When the man didn't move Connor nudged him with his foot to see if he were really passed out, or just faking it. He was not happy that the professor had just passed out. He had wanted to really beat him up. He decided he would have to practice punches with Gunn or Angel to help him gage how hard he could punch to hurt a human but not knock them out. He nudged the professor again with his foot and got no response. He found some water on the desk, and poured it on the professor's head. That worked enough to get the professor to groan, and start to roll over. Connor smiled and waited for a few seconds for the guy to completely wake up. While he was waiting Fred walked in. Fred said, "Connor?"

Connor looked like a deer caught in the headlights when he said, "Umm…"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well…. I…"

"Where's Professor Seidel?"

Connor pointed to the floor behind the desk where Fred couldn't see. Fred walked over and saw the professor moving slightly and holding his head. Fred glared at Connor and said in an angry tone, "Go home."

"But I want to…"

"I can see very well what you wanted to do, and I'm telling you to go home right now. It's personal, it's between the professor and me, and it has nothing to do with you. You had no right to come here and do this."

Connor looked very hurt, and walked out the door. He shut the door behind him and sat down in the hallway. He didn't want to leave Fred, in case the professor really was dangerous, but he also didn't want make her any more angry. He could hear her talking gently to the professor, and asking him if he were okay. Then he heard her helping him into his chair. He was so busy concentrating on listening to Fred, that he didn't hear Angel until he was standing in front of him. He looked up startled, and said, "Dad?"

Angel said, "How did you and Fred get here so fast?"

Connor had no idea how Fred had gotten there. He shrugged and didn't answer. Angel said, "I asked you a question son."

Connor said, "We drove."

Angel bent down and yanked Connor into a standing position next to him, and gave him two hard swats. Connor yelled "What was that for?"

"That was for lying. Go home, Connor. We'll talk when I get home."

Angel gave Connor a slight shove towards the exit. Connor was pissed and as he was walking down the hall he yelled "Fine!"

As Connor was walking down the stairs, a very winded Gunn was coming up them. Gunn said, "Connor? Where's Fred?"

Connor was still pissed, and said, "Guess!"

Connor continued walking away while Gunn yelled after him, "This is serious Connor. I need to know where she is! Don't you walk away when I'm talking to you!"

Connor didn't even turn around as he walked out the front door.

Angel walked into the professor's office just in time to see the professor with a smug smile on his face, and Fred holding an empty crossbow, and a very large demon walking towards her with an arrow sticking out of it's chest. Angel distracted the demon by saying, "Hey! Yeah you, the ugly one. Come fight with someone who'll be more of a challenge for you."

The demon lunged towards Angel, and they started fighting out in the hall. Fred had reloaded her crossbow, and was aiming it at the professor. She said, "Do you have any more surprises, or was that the only one you know?"

"Now Fred, can't we talk about this?"

"Talk about what Professor? Did you want to talk about the way you sent me to a hell dimension for five years, or about the way you sent all those other girls away too? I would love to hear why you did it. What did I ever do to you?"

"Well Fred, I felt you were too close to finding out about the reality of other dimensions, and then you would do something dumb like write a paper about it, and let the world know. You would end up making me and my department look like fools for putting trust in you and your theories, but even worse, some people would believe you, and then start to use the dimensions for their own personal gain. I couldn't have anyone encroaching on my side business. I'm sure if you think about it, you can understand."

Fred couldn't believe what she was hearing. She just stood there in shock until she felt Gunn put his hand on her shoulder. Gunn said, "You okay?"

Fred brought up the crossbow, and aimed for the professor's heart. Gunn bumped her arm so that her aim would be off, and the arrow went into the wall. She glared at Gunn and said, "Stay out of it!"

"No. Don't you see Fred? This is wrong."

Fred opened a book she had in her jacket and started to read the words on a page. As she was talking a portal started to open up in the middle of the floor. The professor who had started to walk away was caught close to the edge of the portal, and had to hold onto the desk to keep from falling in. Fred put the book away and said, "Okay Gunn. I won't kill him. I'll send him to a hell dimension, just like he did to me."

Gunn was walking over to help the professor and said, "That's the same thing Fred. He can't survive there."

"Too bad for him."

The professor looked to Gunn and said, "Help me. Please!"

Gunn grabbed the professor's hand and pulled him away from the portal. Fred looked at Gunn and said, "I'll find a way to kill him Charles."

Gunn looked sad and said, "If you do then we can't be together, and I love you."

Before Fred could respond, Gunn put both his hands on the professor's head, and gave it a quick twist. Fred could hear the snap. Once Gunn had broken the professor's neck, he tossed the body into the portal, which closed after him.

Gunn and Fred stood looking at each other, but not saying anything. A few seconds later Angel came in holding part of the demon that he had finally killed. He said, "Where's the professor?"

Fred said quietly, "We sent him to a hell dimension."

Angel smiled and said, "Giving him a taste of his own medicine? Good plan."

Everyone stood there quietly until Angel felt a little uncomfortable and said, "So… are we done here now?"

Fred nodded and headed towards the exit. Gunn followed her, and they all walked home in silence.

Lorne was pacing in the lobby wondering where everyone else was, when a very angry looking Connor walked in. Lorne said, "Hey kiddo, what's up?"

Connor ignored him, and kept walking down to the work out room, and started to punch the punching bag.

Soon after, a weary looking Fred, Gunn, and Angel arrived. Lorne said, "So how did everyone do talking to my contacts? I didn't have much luck with…"

Gunn and Fred started walking up the stairs without acknowledging Lorne, and Angel went to his office and shut his door.

Lorne said to the empty room, "Great to see all of you too. We should all be proud of the way we communicate here at Angel Investigations. Just peachy."

About an hour later, Connor was tired, and went to take a shower. When he was done he went to find Angel. Angel was still in his office, and Connor went in and shut the door. Connor said, "Okay Angel, if you're gonna hit me, lets get it over with."

Angel was startled out of his research. He said, "What?"

Connor used a condescending tone, and talked slowly as though Angel were a bit retarded as he said, "If you are going to hit me, then do it now."

Angel thought about it for a minute and said, "I don't hit you Connor, I spank you."

Connor rolled his eyes and said, "Oh brother. Just do it. I'm tired of waiting."

"Fine. Sit down and let's talk about why you think you deserve to be spanked."

"Can't you just do it? It doesn't matter what I say, you've already decided to spank me, so DO IT!"

Angel stood up and pointed to a chair. He said, "You better sit down and calm down before you make things much worse for yourself."

Connor was having a hard time controlling his emotions after two confrontations with Fred, and feeling like everyone was against him. He went to the chair, but instead of sitting down, he picked it up and threw it at Angel's head. Angel ducked, and the chair broke against the wall behind him. Before Connor could pick up the other chair that he was eyeing, Angel had one foot on the chair, and Connor over his leg. He started spanking Connor and after ten swats he said, "I know it has been a rough day,…'Smack' but you need to control your temper… 'Smack, Smack'"

Connor bit his lip, and decided he wasn't going to give Angel the satisfaction of hearing him yell. Angel kept spanking until Connor started to squirm around and kick his legs a little. Then Angel put Connor down, and pointed to the chair again. He said, "Sit down, and let's talk."

Connor didn't want to talk. He didn't want to be around anyone at all, but his butt was already starting to sting, and he didn't want Angel to turn that into an unbearable burning sensation. He looked at the chair, and looked back up at Angel. Angel said, "I can always spank you some more first, and then see if you're ready to chat."

Connor gave Angel a look of hate and sat down with a little groan. Angel brought his desk chair out from behind the desk and sat down in front of Connor. He said, "Okay son, you want to tell me what the tantrum was about?"

Connor shook his head no while looking at the floor. Angel said, "Okay then, why don't you tell me how you and Fred got to the Professor's office before me and Gunn."

Connor said in a snotty voice, "I already told you."

Angel shook his head and stood up. He picked up Connor, put his foot back on the chair, and put a struggling Connor back over his leg. Angel said, "Wrong answer little boy." and started spanking him again.

When Angel was done spanking Connor a second time, Connor was breathing hard, and had bitten through his lip with the effort not to cry out. Angel put his foot down, and sat Connor back in the chair. Connor yelped once when his butt hit the chair, but then he shut up, and glared at the floor while crossing his arms. Angel sat down too and said in a coaxing tone, "Connor, I can tell when you lie. Your heart beat goes up, and your voice sounds different. You know I've told you not to lie to me, and every time you do, you will find yourself in the same position. Now I'm gonna ask you again. How did you and Fred get to the professor's office?"

Connor was trying not to squirm around in the chair with some difficulty, and finally said, "I don't know how Fred got there."

"How did you get there?"

"I ran."

"Did you know Fred was gone when you took off?"

Connor sat and thought about it for a minute before he said, "No."

"I see. Let me guess. You went to go beat up the guy before we got there, basically just to let out your own frustrations for the day, and Fred found you there."

Connor nodded. Angel continued with, "And then Fred wasn't happy to see you there."

Connor just looked at the floor and tried not to give in to his sudden urge to cry.

Angel said, "Fred slapped you earlier."

Connor nodded and kept his head down as a tear slid down his cheek. Angel said, "She said she was sorry, but you still felt like she didn't love you."

Connor said, "I don't care if she loves me."

Angel said, "Yes you do. You might be trying to convince yourself that you don't, but you do."

"I don't need love. Love is stupid. Love makes us weak."

Angel said, "No Connor. Love makes us strong. Love makes our work worth while. I love you, Fred loves you, Gunn loves you, and even Lorne is starting to love you again. Don't get me wrong here, they don't always like you, but they would protect you from any pain and suffering that they could."

Connor had nothing to say. Angel continued with, "I heard you and Gunn in the hall. You weren't very nice to him."

Connor nodded and said, "I was mad."

"But you did come home, and you were getting out your frustrations on the punching bag when I came home. I think that was a really big step for you. You did the right thing even though you were mad, and angry, and hurt."

Connor looked up for the first time during the conversation and said, "I didn't even think about going somewhere else."

Angel smiled and said, "I'm glad. So now, why the burst of temper here in the office?"

Connor shrugged and looked back down. Angel said, "You're gonna have to do better than that. At least try to tell me."

"I… I was just mad still. I knew you were going to be mad at me for lying about how we got there, and that you would find out that I didn't stay with Fred, and I kept thinking about what you were gonna do. I didn't want you to do it, but at the same time I think…"

Angel said, "What?"

Connor shook his head. Angel said, "You felt bad about the fight with Fred, and you felt guilty about what you had done, so even though you didn't want me to spank you, you knew it would make the guilt go away."

Connor shook his head more violently. Angel said, "I can understand that, Connor. I even think it's pretty normal. Guilt is hard to live with, and it can crush you if you let it. It can drive a person insane if there's enough of it. I was insane for a while after I got my soul back. Pain and suffering help to lesson the guilt."

Connor looked up at his dad and said, "I hate myself sometimes."

Angel pulled Connor over to sit in his lap and hugged him tight when he said, "I hate myself sometimes too."

"Do you think Fred will forgive me?"

Angel thought about the way Fred and Gunn were acting when they had left the professor's office, and he said, "I think she probably already has, but she may seem kind of off for a while, and I don't want you to think that it's your fault. I think something bad happened between Fred and Gunn today."

Connor pushed to get off Angel's lap, and Angel let him stand up. Connor said, "Are they okay?"

"I don't know. We'll have to wait and see, but I want to get back to you. You disobeyed me today when you left the hotel, and you lied to me. You also lost your temper and tossed a chair instead of telling me how you were feeling."

Connor backed up a little out of Angel's reach and said, "I'm sorry."

"I'm glad your sorry, but I'm still going to punish you."

"You already spanked me."

"We can say that we took care of the chair throwing, but we still need to go over lying, and following orders."

Connor shook his head and said, "I don't think you need to. I already know it was wrong, and I won't do it again."

Angel gave Connor a stern look and said, "This is not up for debate son. Come here now."

Connor closed his eyes, and tried to get himself together as he started walking towards Angel. As soon as he was in reach, Angel undid Connor's pants and pulled them down as he pulled Connor over his lap. He started spanking the slightly pink bottom in front of him hard and fast. This time Connor didn't even try to be quiet, because he was done being mad about everything. He started yelling, "Dad please! Owww… Please stop! Aahhh…"

Angel kept spanking until Connor was crying, and his butt was a deep red. Angel pulled Connor's pants back up and sat him in his lap again. He said, "We're done now Connor. I forgive you, and I know Fred forgives you too. I hope you can forgive yourself."

Connor nodded into his dad's shirt and tried to stop crying. Angel rubbed Connor's back and kept hugging him until he was done crying. Connor eventually pushed away, and Angel let him stand up. Angel said, "I think you should leave Fred and Gunn alone for the rest of the day. I'll think up some chores you can do for the two of them tonight. Why don't you go rest for a little while, and I'll come get you when dinner's ready."

Connor went to his room, and lay down on the bed. Soon Lorne came in with some cookies and milk. Connor looked surprised and mumbled, "Sorry I blew you off earlier."

Lorne smiled and said, "We all have our bad days. Some days are worse than others, and it sounded like yours was pretty bad. I thought you could use a little pick me up, so here you go."

Lorne set the snack down on the side table and said, "See ya kid."

Connor smiled and said, "Thanks." as Lorne left his room.


	11. Chapter 11

**How It Should Have Been Chapter 11**

Connor thought about Julie on and off for the rest of the day while he did the chores Angel thought up. He wanted to see her again, but he didn't know what Angel would say about that. Most of the time when clients came in, Angel told Connor to let the others do the talking. He had explained that he wanted Connor to watch and learn how the team interacted with people outside of their group for a few months before he tried it himself. Connor tried to imagine how the conversation would go if he told Angel he was going out to see Julie for a couple of hours. He decided things would probably be bad either way. If Angel said no, Connor knew he would try to see her anyway, and then he would be in trouble if Angel found out. If Angel said yes, he would probably want to interfere by meeting her, or giving him rules about seeing her. After debating about it all evening, he decided he would see Julie without telling Angel about it.

That night when Connor went to bed he set his alarm for 7am. The team usually went to bed around 3am and got up at 10am. He thought four hours would be enough sleep for him, and he could go out and see Julie while everyone else slept. He would have time to get to the campus, visit with Julie for an hour and a half, and be back home in time to shower and be ready for the day by 10am.

He checked his alarm clock again and remembered Gunn giving it to him. At first he smiled at the memory, but soon frowned. It had been during the first week that Angel was at the bottom of the ocean. Gunn was trying to wake Connor up by shaking his shoulder, and Connor had reflexively punched Gunn before he was actually awake. Gunn was out cold, and once Connor realized what had happened, and laughed at Gunn for being so stupid. Then he got out of bed and tried to look concerned and contrite before waking Gunn up. Once Gunn was up Connor had apologized for knocking him out, and had explained that it wasn't safe to touch him while trying to wake him up. Gunn had bought him an alarm clock that same day, and had shown him how to use it.

The more Connor thought about it, the guiltier he felt. He thought, 'I looked down on Gunn and Fred the whole time I lived with them while Angel was 'missing'. I didn't think twice about lying to them. Why don't I look down on them now? What changed? They know what I did now, and they didn't before. Maybe I never really thought they were so bad. Maybe I talked myself into not liking them, because it made it easier to lie to them.'

Connor fell asleep still feeling guilty about the way he had treated Gunn and Fred.

All too soon his alarm went off. He hadn't slept well during his four hours, but he still wanted to see Julie, so he got up and got himself dressed. He was happy that his butt didn't hurt anymore from the day before. He opened his window and jumped out. It was three floors down to the sidewalk, and he landed easily on his feet. He started jogging towards the campus.

He was at Julie's dorm half an hour later. He listened at her door, and could hear her steady breathing through it. He hoped it wasn't too early to wake her up. He knocked and waited. He could hear her getting up and coming to the door. Julie opened the door and looked up to see Connor. She smiled and yawned at the same time, and then said, "Hey."

Connor noticed Julie was wearing a different nightie than the day before. He smiled and said, "Hi."

Julie opened the door wider so Connor could come in as she said, "I'm glad you came to see me today."

"It isn't too early is it?"

"No, but you'll have to wait while I get ready. It shouldn't take long. Lucky for you, I usually take a shower at night."

Connor nodded, and sat on the edge of her bed. As she was getting her clothes and toothbrush ready to walk down the hall to the bathroom she said, "Did you want to go get some coffee again?"

"That sounds nice."

Julie nodded and said, "Be right back."

Connor stood and looked out the window while she was gone. As soon as she got back, they quietly walked over to the campus bookstore and coffee shop while holding hands. When they got there Connor said, "Should I pay this time, since you paid last time?"

"Sure. I'll have a double mocha, and a blueberry muffin."

Connor ordered the same for himself and paid. As he was paying he thought, 'If I do this very often, I'll have to get more money. Maybe if I ask him, Angel will give me some. But then he'd probably want to know why I wanted the money. I'm glad I still have some of the two hundred left that John gave me for saving his wife and kids. Too bad I wasted half of it on the dumb bus ticket that I never got to use.'

Once they were sitting down Julie said, "How is your friend?"

"Who?" 

"You know, the girl, Fred. She seemed pretty upset yesterday." 

"Oh, I'm not sure, but I think she's okay now."

"That's good."

Connor said, "I told you all about me yesterday. Why don't you tell me about yourself today."

"Okay. Tell me if there's anything that doesn't make sense, and I'll try to explain. I grew up in Washington, the state, not D.C. My parent's still live there. I'm an only child, no brothers or sisters. I came to LA to go to college, because it's sunny most of the time instead of raining, and it's still close to the beach. And because I wanted to get far enough away from my parents that they couldn't just drive over and see me when they wanted to. My dad's a lawyer, and my mom's a hairdresser."

"She dresses hair?"

Julie giggled and squeezed Connor's knee under the table. She said, "People pay her to cut their hair."

Connor looked confused and shook his head. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why would someone pay for that?"

Julie took a good look at Connor's hair and said, "I guess, because they want it to look nice."

Julie looked around at the other people in the coffee shop and said, "Like those two guys at the table by the door. They probably pay to get their hair cut, and they look good."

She looked around again and said, "Okay then see that guy over at the counter? He doesn't pay much attention to what his hair looks like."

Connor looked at the different people in the room, and looked at Julie when he said, "I never thought much about my hair, I just try to keep it out of my eyes. I guess you can tell."

Julie smiled and said, "There are more important things than how a person looks. You fought a beast from another dimension to save your friend."

Connor felt a mixture of embarrassment for not looking as good as the guys by the door, and pleased that she liked the fact that he could fight. He wondered why no one at the hotel had told him about cutting his hair. While Connor was thinking, Julie said, "I could cut your hair for you. I learned how from my mom."

Connor shrugged and said, "Okay."

Julie said, "Cool. Look around here, and tell me if there is any style you like."

As Connor was looking around he realized that he couldn't have her cut his hair, because everyone at the hotel would notice. He said, "Um… Actually let's wait for a while to do that. Maybe in a few weeks. You said your dad's a lawyer. Is he evil?"

"What?"

"Is your dad evil?"

"No! Why would you think that?"

Connor could tell that he had upset Julie. He said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad. My dad knows some evil lawyers, and I just wondered if your dad was evil too."

Julie relaxed and said, "No, I'm sorry. It's hard to remember that you haven't been here for very long. Most people are pretty sensitive about their family, so asking someone if a member of their family is evil, isn't a good idea."

"Okay. I'll remember that."

They sat quietly for a few minutes until Julie said, "So I know you said that you're not going to college, are you doing any kind of school right now?"

"I'm studying to take my GED in a few months. My dad and his friends are tutoring me to catch me up to speed. There are many things to learn, and most of them don't seem to have a practical use."

Julie smiled and said, "Just because something doesn't have a practical use, doesn't mean it isn't valuable knowledge."

Connor didn't really believe her, but decided to keep that to himself. He said, "Tell me about some of the things you're learning here at school."

They spent the next hour talking about the classes Julie was taking. Soon Connor looked at the clock on the wall and said, "I have to go."

Julie said, "When will I see you again?" 

"Would you like to do this again tomorrow?"

"That would be nice. Same time?"

"Yes."

"I'll try to be awake and ready tomorrow. Will you walk me back to my room?"

Connor looked at the clock again and nodded. He would have to run full speed back to the hotel, but he didn't care.

Connor liked the way she held his hand when they were walking. When they got to her room, she pulled his head down into a kiss. Connor felt her tongue in his mouth, and had a surge of feelings he couldn't name. It reminded him of being with Sunny, but this was better. She let go of him and said, "See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Once Julie's door was closed, Connor walked out of the dormitory, and ran back to the hotel. He climbed up the side of the building, and into his window. He looked at his clock. It read 9:45am. He took off his clothes and got in the shower. When he was done, he started to put the same clothes on again, but they smelled like Julie, so he got some new clothes out, and put the others in his hamper.

He went downstairs to find out what was going on for the day. He found Fred first. She was sitting with a cup of coffee and staring off into space. Connor hadn't talked to her since she caught him in her professor's office the day before. She looked at him and gave him a weak smile. He said, "Morning…. I'm sorry about yesterday."

Fred looked away and said, "It's okay. I'm sorry too."

Connor raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had been expecting a lecture at the very least. He went to the cupboard and got himself some boxed cereal to eat. Fred and Connor were sitting in a comfortable silence when Gunn came in. Gunn saw Fred and stopped halfway through the door. Fred saw the sudden halt and looked away from Gunn as she mumbled, "Morning."

Gunn watched her, and when she didn't look back up at him he walked to the refrigerator and mumbled, "Hey."

Connor looked back and forth between the two. Angel had told him that something had happened between Fred and Gunn, but he hadn't realized it was so bad. In the four months he had been living with them, he had never seen them like this. He had seen them have arguments and even fight, but this was different. Gunn got himself a glass of orange juice, and saw Connor looking at him. Gunn said, "Next time I ask you where someone is, you better tell me whether you're angry or not."

Connor looked down at his cereal and said, "Sorry."

Gunn was still angry about yesterday both at Fred, and at Connor. He said, "I don't want to hear 'sorry', I want you to remember this for next time. Did Angel spank you yesterday?"

Fred chided him "Charles!"

Connor got bright red. He realized that everyone knew that Angel spanked him sometimes, but no one had ever asked him about point blank. He nodded at his cereal. Gunn said, "Good." and walked out the door.

A few seconds later Fred put her hand on Connor's arm and said, "Gunn didn't mean it like that. He's just having a bad day."

Connor didn't reply, so Fred continued with, "Hey, it's Sunday, how about some shopping to get my….I mean _your _mind off it. We could go to the mall, and if you wait while I get some shoes, I'll count it as your hour with me for today."

Connor nodded and got up to put his unfinished cereal in the sink.

When Connor and Fred were back from the mall Connor went to find Gunn. Gunn was looking at the newspaper. Connor cleared his throat. Gunn looked up and said, "What?"

"I'm ready if you are."

Gunn just stared at him, so Connor said half joking, "You know, for my hour of….servitude."

Gunn looked annoyed and tossed the newspaper at Connor. He said, "Fine. Read today's paper and tell me what you don't understand."

Connor could tell Gunn was still pissed about yesterday, so he just started reading. After the first few articles Connor had lots of questions, but decided to keep them to himself. Half an hour later Connor looked up at Gunn who was just standing there staring out the front door to the hotel. He walked over and said, "Hey."

"What now?" 

"You're still mad at me."

Gunn glared at Connor and said, "Fred could have died yesterday, and you were so wrapped up in your own problems you wouldn't even tell me where she was. So yeah, I'm still mad."

Connor looked away and said, "Fred was with Angel, and he can protect her better than you can."

Gunn knew this was true, but it just made all of what happened yesterday worse for him. He poked Connor in the chest and said, "I don't want to hear another word out of your mouth for the next half an hour. Go read the paper, and leave me alone."

Connor just stood there looking hurt. He thought, 'What can I do besides say I'm sorry again. But Dad already spanked me for yesterday and forgave me, so maybe Gunn should let it go.'

Gunn yelled, "Now!"

Connor walked back and looked at the paper and tried to read. He had a hard time concentrating. His feelings kept going back and forth between anger and guilt.

Fred had been standing at the top of the stairs watching. She knew that Gunn was taking his frustrations out on Connor, and it bothered her. Especially since she had done the same thing yesterday.

She remembered what had happened between her and Gunn last night. After getting home from killing the professor, they had both gone straight up to their room. Fred had taken a shower, and Gunn had sat on the bed thinking. When Fred came out of the bathroom, they stood looking at each other for a few seconds. Fred said, "I can't believe you killed him."

Gunn shrugged and said, "I can't believe you were going to kill him."

"You had no right to interfere."

"Did I miss something here? Are we working for the bad guys now? I thought that we were the good guys, and the good guys don't kill old defenseless people no matter how bad they are. We could have found a way to put him in jail."

Fred glared at Gunn in a way he had never seen. She said, "Wesley understood."

Gunn felt himself get nauseous. He yelled, "Wesley? That's great Fred. So now you want to aspire to be like Wesley? The guy who stole Connor when he was a baby. The guy who knew where Angel was all summer and didn't tell us. The guy who knew Connor was lying to us all summer and didn't tell us. That's the guy who understands your need for revenge, and you are using that to justify your actions?"

Fred said, "I shouldn't have to justify my actions to you! You should trust me to know what I need to do to feel safe. You don't love me, you love an image of me that I can never live up to. I'm not perfect, and I don't even want to be."

"I never asked you to be perfect!"

"No you just expected me to be."

Gunn shook his head and decided he should leave before they both said more hurtful things to each other. He walked out the door, and out of the hotel. Fred spent the rest of the day in their room just thinking about things. Fred stayed up waiting for Gunn, but eventually fell asleep on the bed fully clothed. Gunn was asleep beside her when she woke up the next morning.

Fred brought her mind back to the present problem. She looked down on Connor and Gunn, and decided to talk with Gunn. She went down the stairs, and walked to Gunn who was still standing by the door. She said, "We need to talk."

Gunn wasn't sure he was ready for another conversation, and said, "I'm busy with Connor."

Fred looked over at Connor, and then back to Gunn expectantly. He could tell she wasn't going to buy his excuse, so he sighed and said, "Okay."

Gunn turned to Connor and said, "You keep reading. I'll be back."

Connor watched as Fred and Gunn went out the front door, and sat on the little bench that was outside. Connor could clearly hear what they were saying, but tried to block it out and concentrate on reading. When it wasn't working, he turned to the sports section, because he knew he would understand most of the things written there, and would have a better time concentrating.

Once they were seated on the bench Fred said, "I know you're angry at me, but you shouldn't take it out on Connor."

"I have plenty of anger for both of you right now."

"Fine, if you're still angry about what he did, and you don't think he's been punished enough, then think up an appropriate punishment and get it done with. But the message you're sending him now is wrong. You're making him think that you don't care about him, and I know that isn't true. If you can put aside our problems for a minute, I think you'll see that I'm right."

Gunn was quiet for a few minutes. Then he nodded and said, "Maybe."

After a few seconds of silence Gunn said, "What are we going to do about us Fred?"

Fred looked away and said, "I don't know Charles."

"Let's go away together for a couple of nights. Maybe get a hotel room at the beach, and talk it out just the two of us. Let's try to get back to normal, or at least back to something like it."

Fred looked at Gunn and said, "I don't think we can get back to normal."

Gunn felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart. He said, "So you don't even want to try?"

Fred looked down at the ground and said, "I waited for you last night."

Gunn put a hand over hers and said, "I wasn't ready to talk yet, but I am now."

Fred looked into Gunn's eyes, and put a hand on his cheek. "Okay, let's go tonight, and try. I'll tell Angel."

Gunn smiled and kissed Fred on the forehead. He said, "Okay."

Fred went in to find Angel, and Gunn sat thinking about Connor. He decided he wasn't really still mad at Connor. The more he thought about it the more he realized he hadn't been handling things right with Connor. He went back and found Connor still reading. Gunn said, "Connor."

Connor looked up warily. Gunn put a hand on his shoulder and said, "I'm sorry I haven't been very nice to you today. Fred and I are…."

Connor smiled in understanding and said, "It's okay. You don't have to explain. I was rotten to you yesterday, and you have every right to be upset."

Gunn stood there looking at Connor for a few seconds and said, "You've really changed this past month. Sometimes I think about the way you were when you were staying with us the three months when Angel was gone. You sure had us fooled with your innocent act. You were probably laughing at us all the time."

Connor felt himself get red with embarrassment. Gunn noticed this and continued, "I was really shocked when I found out you'd been lying to us the whole time. I was hurt by your betrayal, because I had tried to do right by you and help you fit into this world."

Connor felt worse and guiltier than he had in a while. He muttered, "I'm sorry."

Gunn smiled and said, "I know, and that's what makes what you did yesterday forgivable. I know that you're changing, and it hasn't been easy for you. Hell, I think it's amazing that you've come so far so fast. Half of the things you learned growing up were wrong, and it's hard to change your beliefs, especially when you're almost a man. So, I guess what I want to say is, I know you're still gonna make mistakes, but for the most part I think you're turning into a person I will be proud to call a friend."

Connor looked up at Gunn for a second and then back down. He couldn't help but smile and feel good with what Gunn had said. It made him feel that he belonged there with the group. He muttered, "Thanks."

Gunn pulled Connor into a quick hug and said, "Okay. I think since I was just as rotten to you this morning as you were to me yesterday, we can just call it even. How does that sound?"

Connor smiled and said, "Good. That sounds good."

Gunn ruffled Connor's hair affectionately. He said, "Now that I'm done being an ass, I'm sure you have some questions about what you've read, so let's talk about it."

They spent the next hour talking about current affaires.

That night Fred and Gunn left for the beach, and Angel hung out with Connor. When Connor finished up his homework, he looked over to his dad who was reading an old book, and asked, "Have you ever…."

Angel looked up. "Have I ever what?"

"Sired anyone?"

Angel sighed and said, "More than once."

"Are they still alive?"

"I'm not sure about all of them. I know Drusilla is alive."

"Tell me about her."

Angel looked away and said, "It's not a pretty story Connor. It's one of the bad ones."

Connor nodded and said, "Go ahead."

Angel told Connor about how he had picked her out and how he had made her completely insane before turning her. When Angel was done Connor felt kind of sick and said, "Enough for tonight."

Angel nodded. He said, "Sometimes I think about killing her. I know she's evil, and I know I should kill her, but I can't bring myself to do it. I made her who she is, and she's…..mine. I mean, if she was trying to kill someone in front of me, and I didn't have a choice, I would kill her, but it would be hard."

Connor looked confused. He yawned and said, "I think I'll call it an early night."

Angel knew he had given Connor a lot to think about so he nodded and gave him a hug before saying good night. Once Connor was ready for bed he set his alarm so he could go out and meet Julie again. Connor didn't sleep well as usual after hearing one of Angel's more horrific stories. He had nightmares about Angelus killing Holtz slowly in front of him while he was tied up. He woke up before his alarm yelling, "Father!"

He was able to fall back to sleep and get another hour of sleep before the alarm went off.

The next morning when his alarm went off he was even more tired than the day before, but he got up anyway. He got ready and jumped out his window. When he got to Julie's room he found she was ready for him.

They walked hand in hand to the coffee shop, where Julie paid for their drinks. Julie started the conversation. "Last night, I went to see a movie with my friend Shelly. It was all about vampires, and by the end we were kind of freaked out. Then when we were walking back to campus I had the strangest feeling that something was lurking around trying to get us."

Julie laughed a little and said, "It's funny now, but it wasn't last night. Shelly and I both must have been caught up in the film, because half way home we looked at each other and started to run. Pretty silly."

Connor frowned and said, "No it's not silly. There probably was something stalking you. I think it's smart to run if you feel uneasy. That's your instinct taking over. You shouldn't be walking around after dark anyway. It's not safe."

Julie scoffed, "I'm sure there was no one really after us. The campus is very safe, and I wasn't alone."

Connor wasn't sure what to say. He thought about telling her that vampires were real along with other nasty creatures, but he liked her and didn't want her to think he was insane. But he also wanted to make sure she was more careful. While he was thinking about what to say, Julie laughed and said, "Don't look so worried."

Connor frowned. "I am worried about you walking around after dark. You don't go out alone do you?"

Julie rolled her eyes and said, "Jeez you sound like my dad or something. It's not safe…blah, blah, blah. Lay off."

Connor said, "It's just that…"

Connor thought about it, and he knew Julie had been open to the idea of other dimensions, so he decided to tell her. "I know for a fact that there are things out there that can hurt you. I've seen them, and I'm not talking about humans."

Julie's eyes lit up. She said, "Really! Like what?"

Connor didn't think excitement was the way he would have reacted to the same news. He thought she should be upset, not happy. "Yes really. There really are vampires, and demons out there in large numbers, and they will hurt you if you aren't careful."

Julie smiled and said, "Can you show me? I'd like to see one."

"No, it's dangerous. I'm telling you so that you can keep yourself safe, not so that you can go out looking for them."

Julie pouted. "How can I keep myself safe if you don't show me what to watch for. And maybe I don't even believe you anyway. Maybe I should just walk around campus alone and see what happens."

Connor didn't like that idea at all. He tried to think of a way to convince her, but the only way he could think of was showing her. He nodded and said, "Okay. But it will have to be late. Can I come get you around two thirty in the morning?"

Julie looked excited again and bounced in her chair a little when she said, "Goodie. I'll be ready. Sounds like fun." 

Connor mumbled, "It won't be."

"So what should I know? Are vampires like they are in the movies?"

Connor spent the rest of their time telling Julie what he knew about vampires, which was a lot. He had a hard time when it came to convincing her that they were evil and had no soul. She seemed to think that vampires would be nice if she gave them a chance. She finally agreed to at least be careful until she saw one for herself. They walked back to her dorm room, and kissed again before Connor left.

He had to run full speed to get back home in time, and even then he climbed in the window right at ten. He got in the shower and washed off. As he was walking down the stairs Wesley was starting to walk up. Wesley said, "Ah, there you are. I was about to come wake you. Since Fred and Gunn are gone for the next couple of days, it looks as though you get stuck with me for three hours of tutoring."

Connor smiled and said, "That's okay. You get stuck with me too."

Wesley smiled and said, "Good point. Let's get started."

Half an hour into studying, Connor's head started to nod. Wesley was so busy talking he didn't notice until Connor was actually asleep with his head on the open book he was supposed to be following along in. Wesley stared at Connor for a second and then whacked him on the back of the head and stood out of the way. Connor woke up swinging a punch that didn't connect with anything, and made him fall out of his chair. He looked up at Wesley from the floor and said, "What the hell?"

"Sorry. You fell asleep, and that was my first reaction. Looks like I'm becoming more like my father than I'd like to be." Wesley smiled a sad smile.

Connor looked embarrassed and said, "Sorry I fell asleep. I didn't sleep well. Nightmares."

"You want to take a break and get some coffee or something?"

Connor shook his head. "I'm fine. Let's keep going."

Wesley started again, and after a few minutes he could tell Connor wasn't paying attention. He said, "What is it now?"

Connor snapped out of his daze and looked at Wesley. "What?"

"You're not concentrating. What's the problem?"

Connor shook his head and said, "I was just thinking about Holtz. If I had fallen asleep when he was teaching me something…."

Wesley put a hand on Connor's shoulder and said, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"No. It's not okay. It's my fault you had the abusive childhood that you had, but I was trying to save you."

Connor looked up and said, "Angel has told me about it, but will you tell me from your point of view?"

Wesley told him the story of how he had taken baby Connor from Angel to protect him. When he was done Connor nodded and said, "You should have talked to Gunn and Fred about it instead of just taking me."

"I suppose."

"It's kind of funny. I spent so many years hating Angel, and now I think it should have been you."

"Yes."

"But at least you were trying to help me."

"Yes."

Connor nodded and said, "Okay, I'm ready to study now."

By lunchtime Connor was having a hard time concentrating on studying, because he was working pretty hard at just not falling asleep. He was happy to take a break and eat. Then he and Angel did some work with swords in the basement. Connor was embarrassed at how badly he did at first, and had to put all of his effort and concentration into the fight to bring it up to par. Angel was always able to get the upper hand both when they had really fought, and when they were practicing, but today Connor lost faster than normal. When they were done, Angel said, "Are you feeling okay?"

Connor got defensive and said in a nasty voice, "I'm fine Dad."

Angel held up his hands in surrender and said, "Just checking. No need to get upset."

"Sorry. I just didn't sleep too good."

"Nightmares again?"

Connor nodded.

Angel said, "Wanna tell me about it?"

Connor shook his head. 

"It might help if you did."

"It was about you and Fath….Holtz. You were killing him, and I was helpless to stop you."

Angel sighed, "Again?"

Connor shrugged. "I have lots of variations on that same theme. Especially after you tell me stories about your past."

"Maybe I shouldn't tell you so much about my past…"

"No. I need to know about it. Even if it gives me nightmares, it still helps me to understand things."

Angel nodded. Connor continued with, "And I've always had nightmares. Now they are just about different things. I used to get one all the time about not being able to save Father from a kline. I think I was afraid of being alone more than anything else."

"I can understand that."

Angel stood up and stretched. "You ready to do some more studying?"

Connor nodded and they headed upstairs.

Connor was able to stay awake for the rest of his tutoring sessions. He went to his room to do some homework, and ended up falling asleep for an hour. Angel woke him up for dinner. After the nap Connor felt better.

Later that night they got a visitor. A woman came into the hotel while they were finishing up dinner. She said she had a case for them, and Angel took the woman into his office so she could explain the case to him. Once the woman was gone Angel gathered Wesley, Lorne, and Connor in the lobby. He said, "Looks like we have a case. The woman's husband is missing. The police won't do anything because he left a note, but the woman doesn't believe the note is genuine. She wants us to find him to make sure there was no foul play. Connor and I are going over to her house now to get the guys scent and see if we can track him since he has only been gone for a day."

Angel handed a picture and a piece of paper to Wesley and said, "Here's a picture of him, and his name and address. See if you can find out anything about him on the Internet. Maybe a past his wife doesn't know about, or an on line life that might give us some clues."

Wesley nodded and headed for the computer. Angel turned to Lorne and said, "Here's a copy of the picture for you. Take it around to the clubs and see if you can get any hits."

"Will do."

Angel turned to Connor and motioned for him to go with him out the door. They took Angel's car to the woman's house. Before they got out of the car Angel said, "Let me do the talking, but get his scent, and look around for anything out of ordinary."

Connor nodded and they got out of the car. The woman opened the door when Angel knocked. She smiled a sad and tired smile. Angel said, "Hi Pamela. May we come in."

She stood back and said, "Yes please come in."

Connor shook his head at what he perceived as the woman's stupidity. Angel said, "Thanks. We just need to take a quick look around, and I would like to see that note."

While Pamela showed Angel the note, Connor walked around the house taking deep breaths, and looking at everything. His nose led him to the bedroom where the strongest smell of the male was. He opened the closet, and looked at and smelled the clothes. He went to the bed and smelled the pillow that smelled like the man. Then he went to find Angel. Angel was comforting the woman who had started to cry. Connor felt uncomfortable and went to stand by the front door. Soon Angel was there with him, and trying to reassure the woman that they would do everything they could to find her husband. As soon as they were outside, and Pamela had shut the door behind them Angel said, "Can you sense anything from here?"

Connor smelled the air, and walked around the yard. He walked to the street, and went a few steps in both directions on the sidewalk. He went back to Angel and said, "No can you?"

Angel shook his head. They got back in the car and Angel used his cell phone to call Lorne. Lorne said, "Hold on Angel."

Angel waited, and then Lorne said, "Okay. I had to get out of the bar. I'm here at the bar Big Red, and when I showed the bar tender the picture of the guy, he looked like a gambler who's cards had fallen out of his sleeves. He denied ever seeing the guy, but he was obviously lying. You want me to show the picture around and ask some more questions?"

Angel said, "No. Just wait for us. We'll be there in ten."

As Angel and Connor headed towards the bar, Angel tossed the phone to Connor. He said, "Call Wes and see if he has any news."

Connor looked at him questioningly. Angel said, "I can barely use the damn thing. I sure as hell can't drive and call Wes at the same time."

Connor snickered and dialed Wesley. Wesley didn't have any news to report. They arrived at the bar, and as Connor was getting out of the car Angel said, "Sorry Connor, no one under twenty one in a bar."

"Why?"

"Because that is the legal age for drinking alcohol, and a bar's main purpose is to sell alcohol."

"So I'm just supposed to sit in the car?"

Angel looked at Connor and said, "I'm going in to talk to Lorne, and see what I can find out. If I come up with nothing, you and I will both walk around the building, and the surrounding area to see if we can get the man's scent. For now wait for me in the car."

Connor felt a little left out, but nodded his head. Angel got out and went into the bar. Connor sat there for fifteen minutes. Then he decided something must have happened to Angel, so he got out and walked around the building looking for a window. As he was walking he got a whiff of the man's scent. He forgot about the window and started tracking. Soon he was two blocks away and trying to find a window in a different building. As he was walking around it, he heard faint sounds of muffled screaming. Once he heard that he looked more quickly for a window. He found two, but both of them had been boarded up, and he had to go back to the only door he could find. He tried the knob, and found the door locked. He stopped for a minute and thought about it. He thought, 'Should I go get Dad? If someone lives here, he couldn't get in anyway. Should I just break it down? Something could be killing that guy, and maybe he'll be dead by the time Dad gets out of the bar.'

As he was thinking he heard the scream again, and decided to break down the door. He tried to do it as quietly as possible by just turning the knob and pushing until the wood around the deadbolt broke away from the doorframe. He was ready to fight, but no one was there to greet him at the door. He walked through the building, which appeared to be a closed restaurant, and headed towards the man's smell, and the noises. He found a door in the kitchen. He tried it, and found it was not locked. He opened it slowly, and found no one on the other side, but a set of stairs going down. He cautiously went down the stairs, and soon could hear someone breathing not to far off. About half way down the stairs, he knew that he would be visible to the person breathing in a few more steps. He decided the element of surprise would be in his favor since he only heard one person. He jumped the rest of the stairs, and landed in front of a startled man. The man was much larger than Connor, and started to reach in his jacket. Connor punched him in the face, and he was knocked cold before his hand could get the gun he had been going for.

Connor stopped and listened at the door for a few seconds. It had some kind of soundproofing, but now that he was close, he could hear what was going on pretty well. He heard a voice say, "I don't see why you're being so stubborn Matt. You know you can't leave the business. If you would just stop giving us problems, we could all go back to normal."

Connor knew the guy they were looking for was named Matt. Then he heard a tired voice that was gasping for breath say, "Never."

Connor heard the sound of flesh against flesh, and another scream. Connor tried to open the door, and found it too was unlocked. He peeked in, and saw a man tied to a chair, and two men standing close to him. The man tied to the chair had some knives sticking in both thighs, and one in his shoulder. One of the men standing was older and wearing a nice suit. The other was younger and bigger, and wearing black jeans and a tee shirt. The younger man looked to the older man who nodded. The younger man punched the man tied to the chair in the side of the head. Connor stepped in and before anyone even realized he was in the room he had knocked out the younger guy with one punch to the head. The older man was staring at Connor with disbelief. Connor took a step towards the older man. The older man ripped one of the knives out of the thigh of the man tied to the chair, and held it up to Connor. Connor easily kicked it out of the man's hand, and punched him out with little effort. Connor turned to the man in the chair. The man said, "Please…."

Connor knelt down and started to untie the man. Connor said, "Are you Matt?"

The man numbly nodded his head and said, "Thank you."

When he was all untied Connor looked at the knives. He said, "I'm not sure if we should leave those in, or take them out before we take you to the hospital."

At that minute Angel came running into the room. Connor looked up, and could see that Angel was really scared. Connor looked confused and said, "What?"

Angel's face went from scared to relieved, and he walked to Connor and hugged him so tight that Connor had trouble breathing. Angel pushed Connor away and looked him up and down for damage. When Angel looked at him again Connor could tell he was angry. Angel still had a hold on one of Connor's arms and he gave him a little shake and said, "What the hell were you thinking?"

Connor yanked his arm out of Angel's grip and yelled back, "I was thinking about saving this guy!"

Angel closed his eyes for a few seconds and said, "We'll talk at home."

A breathless Lorne arrived and looked at the men on the floor. "Wow."

Angel turned to Lorne and said, "Call the cops, and tell them to get over here."

As Lorne left to make the call, Angel kneeled and patted down the three men on the ground. After he had four guns in his hands he looked at Connor and said, "Tie up the three on the floor, while I get Matt upstairs."

Connor nodded and used the ropes that had been on Matt to tie up the three men he had knocked out. Angel picked up Matt as gently as he could and carried him upstairs. A few minutes later Connor went upstairs, and Angel said to Lorne, "I'll deal with the cops. Take Connor home."

Connor was still upset that Angel seemed angry and he said, "I don't need someone to take me home."

Angel was still angry, but he tried to keep his voice calm when he said, "I know you could get home on your own just fine, but I will feel better if you go with Lorne."

Connor looked down and shrugged. "Okay."

Lorne led the way out and went to a sewer entrance. Connor said, "Why are we going this way?"

Lorne smiled and said, "The cops get kind of nervous when they see green guys with horns. Sometimes they even use me for target practice. Let's just say I'd like to avoid them."

Connor nodded. Half way home Connor said more to himself than to Lorne, "I don't see why I had to leave. I could have told the cops what I saw."

Lorne smiled and said, "Not a good idea kiddo."

"Why?"

Lorne said in a conspiring whisper, "Teenage boys aren't supposed to be able to knock out a mob guy and two of his henchmen without help."

"Oh." Connor thought about it for a few seconds and nodded.

Connor said, "I guess I'm kind of a freak." 

Lorne patted Connor's back and said, "Well yeah, but so are your friends and family."

Connor smiled. Then he said, "What's a mob guy?"

Lorne spent the rest of the walk trying to explain it.


	12. Chapter 12

**How It Should Have Been Chapter 12 **

Once he got home, Connor finished up his homework and waited for Angel. He was nervous that Angel would be home later than two in the morning, and then he would be late to see Julie. He finally heard a knock at his bedroom door around one thirty. "Come in."

Angel opened the door, walked in, and closed it behind him. He walked to Connor's bed and sat on the edge next to Connor. He said, "I was really scared tonight."

"Because you thought I would make a mistake and not be able to save the guy before you got there?"

Angel shook his head.

Connor said, "Then why?"

"You know what a gun can do right?"

"Yeah, I remember when you took those bullets for me right after Sunny died, and I've seen Wesley shoot things."

"Well, I was afraid that one of the men that you knocked out would shoot you."

Connor shook his head and said confidently, "They were human. I knocked them out before they even had a chance to see me very well, let alone reach for a gun."

Angel said, "Man you really are eighteen aren't you. It's been so long since I was young, that I can't even remember feeling invincible anymore."

Connor was frustrated with the conversation and said, "Look I saved the guy, and we finished the case. What else is there to say."

Angel could see this wasn't going well, and decided to change tactics. He stood up and crossed his arms as he said, "Did I or did I not tell you to wait for me in the car."

Connor looked away from Angel and out his window when he said, "Oh, that."

"That's not an answer."

Connor shrugged and said, "You took too long, and I was worried that something had happened, so I got out to look in a window and make sure you were okay. Then I got the guys scent and started to track him."

"I can understand you getting out to check and make sure things were okay with me and Lorne, but once you got the guys scent you shouldn't have gone off on your own. You should have kept looking for a window, and looked in to see us. You could have signaled me. I could have heard you even if you just said my name loudly outside of the door."

Connor thought about it and said, "I didn't really think about it. I just got caught up in following the scent, and then when I found the building he was in I could hear the screams."

Angel put his hands on his hips and said, "And then you went in anyway?"

Connor tossed his arms in the air and said, "I thought about getting you, but if it had been a house you couldn't have gone in anyway. I had to save the guy."

Angel started pacing back and forth. He said, "Okay Connor, I'm glad you at least thought about getting me, and I really am glad you saved Matt. You are a great fighter, and I know you can handle yourself well, but you are too used to doing things alone. You have to learn to do things with the rest of the team. Your first mistake was not getting me from the bar, and your second mistake was going into that restaurant without back up. Those are dangerous things. Those are things that can get you killed. You have to learn that you're not alone any more, and that there are people who will care a lot if you get hurt. And you increase your chances for a successful fight when you have people fighting with you."

Connor thought about it and said, "I guess."

"You should also have more respect for humans as adversaries. Maybe I should have you train with Gunn or Wes sometimes. Gunn's a strong fighter, and you never know what nasty surprises Wes has up his sleeves."

Connor laughed and said, "Yeah right. I'd kick Wesley's ass."

Angel glared at Connor and said, "You think so?"

Connor scoffed. "Yes."

Angel said, "Okay, tomorrow afternoon after your tutoring, you and Wes can have a training session. That will be part of your punishment for tonight, and it will hopefully give you more respect for humans, and maybe make you a little less cocky."

Connor said, "Part of?"

"Yes, part of."

"But I _saved_ the guy."

Angel sat down next to Connor on the bed, and put an arm on his shoulders. He said, "Yes you did, and you did a good job, but you still got out of the car when I told you not to, and you went off fighting on your own."

Connor glared at Angel. "So you're gonna punish me anyway? Even though I helped you."

Angel nodded and said, "I'm not punishing you because you helped me, I'm punishing you because you put yourself at risk, and did something I told you not to do."

"You suck."

Angel put a hand on Connor's upper arm and pulled him face down across his lap. He brought his hand down hard on Connor's butt and said, "I used to suck a lot more often."

Connor groaned at his Dad's bad sense of humor, and yelped as the spanks continued. Once Connor was kicking his legs Angel said, "You always remember you're part of a team, and wait for one of us before you do something dangerous."

Connor yelled, "Okaaaaaaayyy."

Angel gave him ten more hard swats, and helped him to stand up. Connor glared at Angel and Angel pulled him into a hug. Connor hugged Angel back and started to calm down. He thought, 'I guess it could have been worse. In fact it usually is. I got to keep my jeans on, and Dad stopped before I even started to cry.'

Angel interrupted Connor's thoughts with, "Now that we've talked about it, if you go off trying to be a hero again I'll be harder on you."

Connor pushed Angel away and said, "I wasn't trying to be a hero. I was trying to…. I was trying to help you…..us…."

Angel pulled Connor back into a hug and said, "Sorry. I guess that was a bad choice of words. I know you were trying to be part of the team, and I think with a little work you'll be great at it."

Connor yawned. Angel let him go and said, "Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Dad."

"Sleep well."

Once Angel was out the door, Connor looked at his clock, and then his bed. He was tired, but he knew he didn't have enough time to take a nap if he wanted to get to Julie's dorm by two thirty. He got a book and read standing up so he wouldn't accidentally fall asleep. He read for fifteen minutes, and then put his book away and jumped out his window. As he was running to Julie's dorm he thought about what Angel had said about going off on his own. He was pretty sure that Angel would not approve of what he was about to do, and he was glad that Angel didn't know about Julie. He felt a little guilty for going behind Angel's back, and though he hadn't thought so before, he now thought that Angel would probably think of his sneaking off as a kind of lie. Connor shook his head to get those thoughts away. He thought about Julie getting killed by a vampire while walking home from the movies, and he decided he was doing the right thing.

He arrived at Julie's dorm, but found the front door locked. He walked around the side of the building and found Julie's window. She was on the second floor, and he thought about climbing up to her window, but then thought she might not think that was normal. He found some small pebbles and tossed them at her window. When nothing happened he tossed another three pebbles at the window. Then he saw Julie's face looking down on him. He smiled and waved. She opened the window and called, "I'll be right down."

Connor noticed Julie was dressed in tight black jeans and a tight black tee shirt. Her red hair was tied back in a ponytail. When she saw him, she put her arms up around his shoulders, and pulled him into a kiss. Connor kissed her back and they stood there for a few minutes. She broke off and said, "Wow. Nice."

Connor smiled and said, "You look good."

Julie smiled and said, "So where are we headed?"

Connor got serious and said, "Okay Julie, I'm willing to take you to show you a real vampire, but only if you promise to follow my rules so you can be safe."

Julie nodded. Connor said, "You stay right next to me while I'm tracking, and then when we find one, I'll tell you where to stand. You need to stay where I tell you until the vampire is dead. If you see me get hurt, then you run. Don't come try to help me."

Connor handed Julie a stake and said, "You shouldn't need this, but in case something goes wrong, you stab this into the vampires heart to kill it."

Julie took the stake and said, "I don't think I could."

"You might be surprised when your life is in danger. Okay let's go. I'll try to go slow, but tell me if you need me to go slower."

Julie nodded and they headed off. About three blocks off campus Connor stopped and sniffed the air. He turned a corner and walked another block. He stopped half way through the next block and turned to look between two buildings. He walked between them into a short ally. He motioned for Julie to stand still, and he went a few more feet to the end of the ally. He saw a young boy lying on the ground. He knelt down and could see the teeth marks in the neck. He felt for a pulse, but found none. He motioned for Julie to come closer. As soon as she saw that it was a boy she ran and knelt down next to Connor. She said, "What's wrong with him?"

"He's dead. Vampire."

Connor pointed out the teeth marks on the neck. Julie shook her head and said, "Dead?"

Connor nodded. Julie said, "But….dead?"

"Yes."

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

Julie stumbled over to the ally wall and vomited. Connor stood and waited for her to finish. When she was done he motioned her to follow him. She walked out on shaky legs, and called after him, "Shouldn't we call the police?"

Connor stopped and waited for her to catch up. He said, "No. The boy is dead, and the police don't believe in vampires. We need to find it and kill it. The trail is still fresh. The boy was still warm."

Julie looked at Connor with horror. Connor saw the look and said, "I know. I'm a freak. I'd like to be able to just take you home, because I can see that you're upset, but I need to follow it and kill it now while the boy's scent is still on it, and it's not safe for you to walk home alone."

Julie just looked dazed and said nothing. Connor started walking and said, "Come on."

Julie followed him. Two blocks later Connor stopped and looked at a manhole. He said, "Crap."

Julie caught up and said, "What?"

"It's in the sewer."

Julie had had a little time to think about things and she said, "Then let's go get it."

Connor said, "You'll have to come with me, and the sewer isn't as safe as the streets. Things besides vampires may be down there."

Julie nodded to show she was willing. Connor opened the manhole, and jumped down. He called up, "Jump, I'll catch you."

Julie said, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

They went about three blocks underground, and Connor stopped at a turn in the tunnels. He held up his hand for her to stop too. He got out his stake, and jumped around the corner of the tunnel. He was faced with one male vampire that was ready for him with a punch to the stomach. Connor dodged, and punched the vampire in the face. The vampire was taken by surprise by Connor's strength, and fell back. Julie by this time had come to the corner so she could see what was going on. From what she could see, Connor was fighting a normal looking man. As the vampire was getting up Connor said, "Show us your true face monster."

The vampire raised his eyebrows in surprise. He changed face as he said, "I guess I should oblige a person's dying wish."

Julie was repulsed at the face she saw and gasped. The vampire turned to her and said, "You're next pretty."

Connor took advantage of the fact that the vampire was looking away, and tried to stake him. The vampire had anticipated this move, and grabbed Connor's arm. He punched Connor in the stomach with all his strength, and let go of his arm at the same time, so Connor went flying against the other side of the sewer tunnel. As he hit the wall Julie yelled, "Connor!"

The vampire thought Connor was out for the count, and went to the girl. Julie saw him moving towards her and turned to run. He grabbed her hair and pulled her back against his chest. He whispered in her ear, "You smell yummy."

He licked her neck, and was about to bite when Connor staked him from the back. Julie turned in time to see the vampire turn to dust. Connor said, "Are you okay?"

Julie shook her head no, and her eyes filled with tears as she flung herself on Connor. Connor was a little surprised, but held onto her for a second. Then even though she was still crying, he pushed her away and said, "It's not safe here. We have to make it back to the street, and back to your room."

Julie nodded and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. Connor held her hand and started towards the manhole. They made it all the way back to her dorm room with no trouble. Once they got there Julie hugged Connor tight and whispered, "You were right, it wasn't fun, but thanks for showing me."

Connor pulled back from the hug enough to kiss her on the forehead and said, "You try to get some sleep."

Julie looked at her watch and said, "Wow, I can't believe we've been gone for less than an hour."

"Why don't we skip coffee in the morning, so we can both sleep in. But I'll come by Wednesday morning, I mean, if you still want me to."

Julie kissed Connor on the mouth and said, "Yes please. I'll see you then."

Connor watched while she used her key to get in the front door of the dormitory. Once she was safely inside, Connor walked back home. He was fairly pleased with how the evening had gone. He wished he had been there in time to save the boy, but he was glad he had killed the vampire, and proved to Julie that she needed to stay safe. And he was happy that she still wanted to see him. He made it home with no problems, and climbed up to his window. He took off his clothes and put them in the hamper, and decided to rinse off with a quick shower before going to bed.

The next morning Connor slept in until 10:30 when Wesley came up and woke him up. Connor felt pretty good and had a good time studying with Wesley for most of the morning. In the afternoon, once he was done studying with Angel and Lorne, Angel said, "Hey Connor, I've talked to Wes, and you're going to have a training session with him in a few minutes. Wes wants to do it in the lobby."

Connor smiled and said, "Cool. I've wanted to kick his ass more than once."

Angel smiled too and said, "That's exactly what Wes said."

Connor frowned but said nothing. Angel said, "Well his actual words were, 'Good. I've wanted to teach him a lesson on more than one occasion.' But the sentiment is the same."

Angel continued, "I'll be standing by the door to make sure neither one of you gets out of control, but I'll stay out of the way. Try to remember it's a training session, and that you're both on the same team."

Connor nodded and they walked to the lobby where Wesley was waiting. Wesley said, "Are you ready to start?"

Connor nodded and Angel went to sit on the stairs by the front door.

Wesley tossed Connor a sword, and took one himself. He said, "Let's warm up with a little sparring."

They both kept it clean, and soon they could both tell that while Connor was stronger, Wesley was able to hold his own, and had some moves that Connor didn't know. Wesley ended the sparring by saying, "Okay, enough of that."

Wesley put the swords away. He said, "Okay let's do a little hand to hand. I don't know if you've thought about it before or not, but the best thing you have going for you is the fact that you look young. No human, vampire, or demon will expect you to be strong, so they will underestimate you, which gives you a chance to take them down."

Connor thought about it and knew Wesley was right. Wesley continued with, "For someone who knows you it's a little different. I won't give you the chance to take me by surprise."

Connor glared at Wesley a little, and thought, 'I'll still kick your ass.'

Wesley said, "Okay, come at me."

Connor went at Wesley, and Wesley ducked the first two punches, and was able to punch Connor once in the stomach. Connor stumbled back, but didn't loose his footing, and was trying to kick Wesley the next second. Wesley avoided the kick, but Connor was able to punch Wesley in the stomach right after the kick. He knew Wesley was human, but he had more than one reason to dislike Wesley, so he used all his strength in the punch. Wesley went flying through the air, and fell to the floor across the room. Angel stood up and yelled, "Connor!"

Connor could tell by Angel's tone that he was less than happy, and he tried unsuccessfully not to smile with satisfaction at Wesley on the floor. Wesley lay there for a few seconds trying to breathe. Connor started to feel bad when Wesley didn't get up, and he started to walk towards Wesley to help him up. When Wesley saw Connor start to walk for him, he reached under his pant leg and pulled out his handgun. Connor saw Wesley reaching under his pant leg, but didn't think anything of it. Connor was able to get a glimpse of the gun as soon as it was in Wesley's hand, and he stopped and stared at Wesley in shock.

Time seemed to go in slow motion for Connor. As soon as he saw the gun was pointed at him, Connor turned to run. He heard the gun go off, and then felt a sharp pain in his left shoulder. He was still turning, and starting to run towards the stairs, when he felt another sharp pain on the left side of his upper back. He looked to Angel, who was still standing on the stairs with his arms crossed and looking resigned and a little sad. Connor felt one more sharp pain on the right side of his lower back, and then he didn't hear any more shots as he stumbled the two more steps to where Angel stood.

Angel caught Connor, and held him in place by his upper arms. Angel could tell Connor was terrified, and he felt bad. He didn't know if it had been a good idea or not, but it was too late to look back. He said quietly, "It's okay son. It's just training. You haven't been shot."

Connor looked confused. He put a hand to his back where he had felt the shots, and felt something wet and sticky. He pulled his hand back to the front of his face and saw a light pink color. He thought, 'My blood isn't pink.'

Then Wesley was standing next to him holding his stomach, and the gun. Angel said, "It's paint Connor."

Connor still didn't understand, but the pain in the areas where he had been shot was no longer sharp, but dull and fading fast.

Angel sighed and looked at Wesley when he said, "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea."

Wesley said in a strained voice, "If he had been expecting it, it wouldn't have taught him the lesson as well. I know it's harsh Angel but, from what you told me, I think it was necessary."

Angel looked conflicted, but nodded. Angel pulled Connor into a hug and said, "I'm sorry. I just couldn't let you keep thinking that humans don't pose a threat to you just because of your strength. Lots of humans carry weapons, and guns seem to be everywhere. You're not bulletproof, and I need you to be more cautious around people."

As Angel was talking Connor realized what they had done, and when Angel was done talking Connor shoved him away. He yelled, "So this was training?"

Angel nodded. Connor shook his head and looked at Wesley. He said, "Your idea?"

Wesley nodded. Connor raised his fist to punch Wesley in the face, but Angel caught his arm before he could throw the punch. Angel said, "No."

Connor tried to yank his arm out of Angel's grasp, but couldn't. He yelled, "Let me go!"

Angel said, "I will if you can be calm."

"Screw you!"

Angel shook Connor once and raised his voice as he said, "I know it scared you, that was the point, but you're not hurt. I'll let you go when I can be sure you aren't going to attack Wes."

Connor closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He stood still for a few seconds, and then nodded his head. He opened his eyes and looked at Angel when he said, "Okay. I won't hit him, even though I want to."

Angel nodded. "Good boy."

Angel let Connor go and said, "Go change your shirt, and we'll do a training session together to get rid of some of your frustration."

Connor nodded and glared at Wesley as he walked past him and up to his room to change his shirt.

Wesley looked at Angel and said, "I don't know if that went well or not. I suppose it got the point across."

"Better now than when he's out there fighting, and someone points a real gun at him. He didn't even move when you were reaching for your gun, so he lost time. Tomorrow you should take him out and teach him how to use a gun."

Angel could see the shock in Wesley's expression, and Angel looked away for a second. He said, "I know what you're thinking Wes. Connor has a hot temper, and he could fly off the handle and hurt people, and knowing how to use a gun just makes him more dangerous right?"

Wesley looked embarrassed but said, "Well yes."

"But he isn't going to fly off the handle, because he's here with us now, and he knows that we love him. If he's going to be out there fighting evil, he will most likely come across more than one gun. I want him to know how they work, so that he isn't at a disadvantage. He needs to know how to take the bullets out safely, he needs to know how to put the safety on and off, and I even want him to do a little target practice. And really Wes, if you think about it, Connor already knows plenty of ways to kill a person. What's one more?"

Wesley thought about it and said, "I still don't like it, but if you want me to, I'll show him tomorrow."

"Thanks. I think a big part of Connor not flying off the handle is him knowing that we trust him not to. If we expect him to blow up, he probably will. I expect him to be a champion, and fight by my side."

Connor felt better after training with Angel, and using the punching bag while imagining Wesley's face for about fifteen minutes.

Later that night Angel went to Connor's room to say good night. Connor looked up from his homework and said, "Hey."

Angel came in and sat on the bed. He said, "I came to say good night, and to see if you're okay with the training session today."

Connor sighed and said, "I think it was really crappy of you both to trick me like that, but…"

"But what?"

Connor mumbled, "I guess it kind of worked. When I saw Wesley point the gun at me, it was… a new feeling for me. I felt fear, and betrayal, but also surprise. I think you were right that I underestimate humans. I'll try not to."

Angel pulled Connor into a hug and said, "I'm sorry about today. There were probably better ways to get the same lesson across, but I'm glad you learned something from it at least. Tomorrow I'm gonna have Wes teach you how to use a gun. Just the basics so that you'll know what to do if you need to someday."

Connor didn't think guns would be of much use to him, since he usually killed things that wouldn't die from a gunshot wound, but he nodded his acceptance.

The next morning Connor got up with his alarm at seven. He got ready and again jumped out the window and went to meet Julie. He wasn't sure what kind of reception he would get after killing the vampire in front of her, but he hoped she would still like him.

He knocked on her dorm door, and she opened the door fully dressed and ready to go. She smiled and said, "Hi."

He smiled back and said, "So, do you still want to go get some coffee with me?"

She pulled him into a long kiss, and when she let him go she said, "Yes."

They walked hand in hand to the coffee shop. As they were walking Julie broke the silence with, "I want to go over everything you know about vampires again, just to make sure I remember it all, okay?"

Connor smiled and said, "Sure. I'm really glad that you're taking it seriously. I like you, and I want you to be safe."

They spent the morning talking about vampires and other demons. Connor looked at the clock, and was surprised at how fast the time seemed to go by. He thought that maybe he should tell Angel about seeing Julie now, just so that he could see her more often, and for longer. He said, "I've got to go."

Julie frowned and said, "Do you have to? I don't have any classes for another hour."

Connor wished he could stay longer, but knew he couldn't. He said, "Sorry, but I have to get back. I'll see you tomorrow though."

They walked back to Julie's room, and Connor bent to kiss her goodbye. He let her go, and she said, "Are you sure you have to go?"

Connor wanted to stay and talk more, but he knew he had to go. He said, "Sorry, I have to get back."

Julie nodded, and pulled him down for another kiss before he left.

Connor smiled the whole way back to the hotel. Connor climbed up and into his window. As he set his feet on the floor of his room he heard a noise, and looked behind him to see Angel standing in the shadows of his room.

Earlier that day Gunn and Fred had gotten up to see the sun rise over the buildings while sitting on the beach. They had been away together for three days, and this was the beginning of the fourth. During their time away, they had spent hours talking, and trying to see how they both felt about what had happened, and where they wanted to go with their relationship. When it was all said and done, they decided that they still loved each other, and probably always would no matter what else happened. They decided to stay together, and try and make it work. But they also both knew their relationship was different now. Now they both knew that the other was capable of murder, and that changed how they saw themselves and each other.

That morning, they decided they had said all they had to say, and headed for home. When they were a block away from the hotel sitting at a red light Fred said, "Isn't that Connor?"

Gunn looked away from traffic, and towards the hotel. They saw Connor climbing out of a window on the third floor. They saw him jump and land on his feet. Gunn said, "Definitely Connor."

Fred looked confused and said, "That's odd."

Gunn looked at Fred and smiled. "Home sweet home."

"Should we follow him?"

The light turned green, and as he was driving Gunn said, "Pretty impossible in the truck, and I can't keep up with him for very long on foot. Let's go see what Angel has to say."

Once Fred and Gunn had gotten their things put away, they went to check Connor's room to make sure he wasn't there. Then Gunn went to make coffee while Fred went to wake Angel. Soon they were all in the kitchen. Angel said, "How long ago did you see him leave?"

Gunn said, "Ten minutes ago."

Angel shook his head and said, "I don't get it. Last night he seemed fine. We had a training session that was kind of rough, but I thought he was over that. He hasn't gotten angry enough to try and run away for a while now."

Fred said, "Well now that I think about it, he didn't look mad."

Gunn nodded in agreement. "In fact he was smiling."

"Smiling?" Angel said with disbelief.

They all stood quietly for a few minutes. Gunn snapped his fingers and said, "I got it. Connor didn't run away again. He snuck out."

Fred and Angel thought about it for a minute. The Fred said, "Why?"

Gunn smiled and said, "When I was a teenager, it was usually to go to a party, or hang out with my friends, but I'll bet Connor is out killing things."

Angel shook his head and said, "But he can do that with us."

Gunn said, "Yeah, but I bet it's pretty satisfying to be doing something behind your back. Or at least I know it was for me when I got away with it."

Angel got a big grin on his face and said, "So you mean….Connor's doing something normal?"

Fred and Gunn smiled too. Angel then lost the smile and said, "Or he ran away again. Well, I guess we'll find out. I think I'll go wait for him in his room. If he isn't home by 10:30 or so, then we'll assume he ran again and we'll start to track him down."

Angel was getting anxious and depressed when the clock said 10:04, but just as it went to 10:05 he saw a pair of hands on the windowsill. He smiled with relief, and even happiness, but caught himself quickly and put on what he hoped was a stern face. He stayed perfectly still until Connor was all the way in the room and then he cleared his throat. He could see the emotions flicker on Connor's face when he saw him. First was surprise, followed by worry, and last anger.

Angel raised his eyebrows at Connor and waited. Connor glared at Angel for a few seconds, and then soon started to feel his face heat up as he looked away.

Angel said quietly, "Where were you?"

"Out."

"Out where?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad. You can talk face up, or face down, but you will be telling me about it."

Connor glared at Angel. Angel said, "Close the window and pull the shade for me please."

Connor thought about it for a few seconds. He knew while he was standing in the sun he was safe, but he also knew that if he didn't do what Angel asked him to do things would be worse later. He reluctantly closed the window and pulled the shade. Angel said, "Thank you. Now where were we? Oh yeah, you were going to tell me where you were."

Connor sighed and looked defeated as he went to sit on his bed. He mumbled, "I went to get coffee with a friend."

Angel couldn't help but look surprised. He walked over and stood next to Connor. He said, "What?"

Connor glared up at him and said, "What part didn't you understand Dad?"

Angel was close enough to smell both the coffee and a female scent on Connor. He said, "There's so many parts I don't understand that I don't know where to start. Who is your friend? How did you meet her? How often have you snuck out? Why didn't you just ask me if you could go?"

Connor wasn't sure what to answer first, and all that came out was, "Umm…."

Angel sat next to Connor and said, "Why don't you tell me the whole story from the beginning."

Connor thought for a few seconds and said, "You remember when Fred gave that lecture and I went to track that girl?"

"Yeah."

"Well, when I found her, she asked what that thing was that attacked Fred, and I told her it was from another dimension. Then it kind of came out that I was from another dimension."

"What! Connor that's not something you should be telling people."

Connor rolled his eyes and said, "I know. It just slipped out before I could stop myself, but the great thing is that Julie not only believes me, but she still likes me anyway."

Angel thought this was strange. He said, "Okay, so how did you go from investigating her, to going out?"

"She said she was interested in other dimensions, and wanted to talk some more but I had to get back to meet you guys, so I went to see her the next day."

Angel thought about it for a minute. He said, "When? You went with Fred to see her professor, and then we were all trying to convince Fred not to kill him, and then you were with me for the rest of the evening."

Connor mumbled, "I saw Julie in the morning when Fred was with the professor."

Angel was silent until Connor looked at him. Angel said, "So instead of protecting Fred like you were supposed to, you were goofing off?"

Connor looked back down and said, "Fred said she didn't need a babysitter."

"I'm sure she did, but that's not really the point is it? The point is that you were supposed to be there to protect her. What if she had confronted the professor, and he had sent her to another dimension. We wouldn't know where she was or what had happened. She could have died while we were looking for her. I'm really disappointed that you chose going to visit with a person you didn't even know over protecting your family."

By the time Angel was done talking Connor felt a huge lump in his throat. He whispered, "We didn't know the professor was the one."

Angel put an arm around Connor's shoulders and said, "But we did know she was in danger, and that she had been attacked at the university last time. You should have stayed with her Connor."

A tear slid down Connor's face, and he nodded his head in understanding. Angel said, "So you went to visit with Julie, and met up with Fred when she was done?"

Connor nodded. Angel said, "When did you see Julie again?"

Connor wiped his face with his sleeve and said, "The next morning. I set my alarm for 7am, and went to go see her. We went to coffee again, and talked. Then I came home in time to start the day."

Angel said, "And then that worked out so well, you've been doing it every morning since?"

Connor wanted to get this conversation over, and he didn't want to go into how he took Julie vampire hunting. He thought to himself that 2:30 technically was morning, so he said, "Yes."

Angel thought about it and shook his head. He said, "So when you were tired, it wasn't because of nightmares like you said, it was because you'd been going out."

Connor said, "I did have a nightmare….it just might not have been the only reason I was tired."

Angel shook his head and said, "How much have you told Julie about yourself, and us?"

"She knows an abbreviated version of my life both in Quor-toth, and here. She knows you're a private investigator, and that our friends live here and work with us. I told her about my tutoring to get my GED."

"What about what we really do, and what I really am?"

"I didn't tell her that you're a vampire, but I did tell her that they exist….mostly so she would be careful at night. I didn't go into the whole fighting evil thing."

Angel said, "And she believed you?"

Connor was hesitant when he said, "Well, not at first, but eventually she did. She's really very open to new ideas when it comes to the super natural."

They were both quiet for a few seconds, and then Angel asked, "Why did you keep it a secret from me? Why sneak out when you could just tell me about it and see her when you wanted?"

Connor stood and paced. "I didn't think you'd let me see her."

Angel was both hurt and surprised. He said, "Why?"

"You never let me talk to people. You always seem to be worried that I'm gonna blurt out the wrong thing. It's always 'let us do the talking.' So I thought you would either not let me go, or you would want to come with me to make sure I didn't screw it up."

Angel sighed. "I'm sorry you felt that way Connor. I guess I've been too over protective when it comes to other people, but from what you've told me this morning I think I have cause to be. This is the first person out of our circle that you've talked to for any length of time, and you've told her a lot more information than you should have. You're lucky that she didn't call the police, or worse."

Connor said, "So what now? Are you gonna tell me that I can't see her?"

"No. You can still see her, but I want to meet her."

Connor groaned and said, "See this is why I didn't want to tell you. You're going to scare her off."

Angel thought about it and said, "Okay how about if Fred goes to meet her?"

Connor didn't really want anyone to meet her, but Fred was better than Angel so he nodded and said, "Okay."

"Good. Are you supposed to meet her tomorrow in the morning again?"

"Yes."

"Then Fred can go with you."

Connor thought that sucked but he nodded. He was at least glad that Angel hadn't told him he couldn't see Julie. Angel then said, "How many times would you say you lied to one or more of us since you met Julie?"

Connor felt his stomach lurch at that question. He said, "Lied?"

Angel narrowed his eyes and said, "Yes lied."

"Um….None?"

Angel stood up and walked over to where Connor was. Connor tried to take a step back, but Angel grabbed his upper arm. Angel said, "Try again little boy."

Connor audibly gulped and said, "Not any direct lies."

Angel gave Connor a hard swat with his free hand and said, "How many not direct lies?"

Connor's eyes darted around the room looking for an answer. Angel said, "If you've seen her five times since that first time, my guess would be at least five lies."

Connor's voice was higher than usual when he said, "Not telling you something isn't a lie!"

Angel gave him six hard swats and said, "Oh yes it is. Do you really expect me to believe that you don't know it's wrong to keep it from me when you're doing something I wouldn't approve of?"

"So having coffee and talking is wrong?"

"Don't be ridiculous, you know what I'm talking about."

Angel pulled Connor over to the desk to pick up the hairbrush that he had left there earlier that morning just in case. Then he pulled Connor to the bed and sat down bringing Connor face down over his lap. Angel said, "Sneaking out is wrong."

Angel gave Connor ten swats with the hairbrush. Connor yelped and said, "Okay! Okay! I won't sneak out any more."

Angel said, "Every time you sneak out, you are lying to me about what you did that night, and when you said you were tired from the nightmares, that was a direct lie."

Connor didn't have anything to say to this, so Angel started spanking him. Connor was soon sorry he hadn't talked to Angel about seeing Julie in the first place. When Connor was squirming around and trying to get off his Dad's lap, Angel said, "You."

Smack!

"Don't."

Smack!

"Lie."

Smack! Smack!

Connor yelled, "Owww….I'm sorry!"

Angel stopped and stood Connor up. He said, "The pants are coming down Connor. You can do it or I can."

Connor took a shaky breath and unfastened his jeans. He said, "You don't have to Dad, I won't sneak out any more."

Angel reached out and pulled Connor back over his lap. He ignored the protests and pulled Connor's pants and underwear down together. He said, "This part is for leaving Fred when you were supposed to be protecting her."

Connor started to cry before Angel brought the brush down, so Angel knew Connor felt guilty about that one. Angel started spanking the bare butt in front of him, and didn't stop until Connor was crying too hard to yell that he was sorry about it.

When he was done, Angel tossed the brush on the bed and rubbed Connor's back until Connor pushed himself up. Connor stood and fixed his pants. Angel stood up next to him and pulled him into a big hug. Connor hugged him back and put his head on his Dad's shoulder. Angel said, "Family is the most important thing Connor. It may not seem fair to you, but because of who you are, you have more responsibilities than other people your age do. When I send you out to protect one of our group, I damn well expect you to do it. Do you understand me?"

Connor nodded his head. They stood there until Connor let go of Angel. Angel let go and stepped back. He said, "Why don't you get a couple more hours of sleep. I'll come wake you up in a little while, and we can talk about seeing Julie."

Connor was very tired from lack of sleep, emotional overload, and physical punishment. He didn't argue at all. He lay down on his bed and was soon asleep.

Angel took the brush, and went to go get a couple more hours of sleep himself.


	13. Chapter 13

**How it should have been - Chapter 13**

Wesley woke up to see the sun shining in the bedroom window. He felt a movement beside him and turned to see Lilah stirring next to him. He felt the usual mix of happiness and shame at the sight of her. He pushed the shame away and smiled at her as he brushed the hair away from her face with his hand. She opened her eyes and smiled back at him. She said, "Morning lover."

Wesley kissed her and said, "Morning."

Lilah looked at the clock and said, "I've got to get ready. Mind if I use the shower?"

"Go ahead."

Lilah got up and walked into the bathroom picking up her clothes along the way. Wesley watched her and thought, 'She's really quite beautiful.'

Wesley heard the water start, and he lay there thinking about the night before. On the way home from Angel's hotel he had been thinking about Fred and wondering when she and Gunn were going to be coming home. He thought, 'They've been gone for three days now. I'm sure that means they've resolved their differences. I should be happy for them….I should be, but I can't be. Fred should be mine. Gunn isn't right for her. He never has been. He didn't help her find a way to kill the professor, I did. He didn't understand what she needed to do, I did. Why does she stay with him? What does she see in him?'

By the time he had arrived home, he was very depressed. He opened his apartment door, and saw Lilah sitting on his desk across the room. Since she had used him to get to Lorne, they hadn't slept together, and since that was what their relationship was based on Wesley didn't see the point of her being there.

Lilah said, "Hard day at the office?"

"I've had worse."

Wesley closed the door behind him and said, "What are you doing here?…..And why are you dressed like that?"

Wesley noticed that Lilah had her hair in two braided pig tales. He had never seen her in glasses before, but she was wearing them now. And her clothes were less provocative than usual. She looked like she should be in school. Lilah used a bad southern accent when she said, "Isn't this what you like? A big brain in a tight little…"

Wesley quickly realized Lilah was doing a bad imitation of Fred and interrupted her with "Lilah…"

But not wanting to be stopped yet, Lilah continued with the southern accent and interrupted Wesley with, "Forget that witch Lilah. Let's talk about me. I'm good and pure and science turns me on. And some day if I pray really hard, and eat all my veggies, I might just have hips."

Wesley smiled in spite of himself. He asked her quietly, "Are you quite finished?"

Lilah got off the desk and walked towards him. She said, "Did it turn you on to watch her up there in front of all those brainiacs?

Wesley tried to change the direction of the conversation with, "Her theories deserve attention."

Lilah wouldn't be dissuaded. "Just her theories?"

Lilah walked into Wesley's personal space and said, "I saw the way you looked at her."

Wesley looked away and tried to come up with a convincing way to deny it.

Lilah put her arms around Wesley's neck and said, "Oh come on, do you really think I care about your little crush? Moon over twig girl all you want. I know whose bed you'll be crawling into at the end of the day…"

Lilah kissed Wesley. She came up for air and said, "….or in the afternoon."

Wesley was getting turned on, but wanted to deny it. One side of him wanted to push Lilah out the door, but the other part wanted to pull her to the couch with him. He said, "You think you know me so well?"

Wesley looked at Lilah's face when she said, "Better than she ever will."

Wesley knew she was being completely honest with that sentence, and he knew it was true. Lilah did know more about his dark side than his other friends, and she lusted after him because of it. He thought about Fred and how she didn't love him, and he snapped. He pulled Lilah to him for a crushing possessive kiss. He pulled her with him to the couch still kissing. He sat and pulled her down to straddle his lap. He pushed her skirt all the way up, and started to unbutton his pants. Lilah was smiling with lust and victory as she pulled off the glasses. Wesley stilled and was deadly serious when he said, "Leave them on."

Lilah lost a little of her smile, but put the glasses back on and helped Wesley to get out of his pants.

Wesley's thoughts of last night were interrupted when he heard the water turn off in the bathroom. He rolled out of bed too and gathered up clothes. They had been together often enough to know each other's routines, so while Lilah was fixing her hair and brushing her teeth, Wesley showered. Soon they were both sipping coffee. Lilah looked at her watch and said, "I've got to go."

She put her coffee down and picked up her bag with yesterday's clothes in it. She went to Wesley and gave him a long kiss before going out the door.

Wesley shook his head and said to the empty room, "Not the worst way to start the day."

Wesley finished his coffee and headed to the hotel. When he walked through the front door, he could hear the faint muffled sounds of yelling and smacking. He had heard them before, and wondered what Connor had done this time. Then he saw Gunn standing at the counter reading the paper and drinking some coffee. Gunn looked up and said, "Hi Wes."

Wesley smiled and said, "Good to have you back."

The sounds of the spanking stopped, and both Gunn and Wesley looked in that general direction for a second. Wesley said, "Do you know what he did this time?"

"He snuck out of the hotel around seven this morning and just got back a few minutes ago. I'm not sure what he was doing while he was away, but from the sound of things, it wasn't something he should have been doing."

Wesley nodded and went to the kitchen to get his second cup of coffee for the day. He walked in to see Fred making some toast. She turned and smiled at him. His breath caught in his throat at the rush of feelings seeing her provoked in him. He thought about Lilah, and how her beauty paled in comparison to Fred's. He covered up his feelings as best he could, and smiled back and said, "It's good to see you. How was your trip?"

Fred said, "It was good."

Wesley was afraid to ask, but couldn't help himself. "So did you and Gunn….Are you….?"

"Okay now? Yes."

Wesley felt crushing disappointment, but smiled and said, "Glad to hear it."

He walked over to the coffeepot and poured himself some. He said, "How are you doing Fred? I haven't seen you since…."

Fred buttered the toast that had popped up and said, "Since I came to you looking for a way to kill the professor?"

"Yes."

Fred said, "I'm fine."

Wesley thought that sounded insincere, and tried to make eye contact with her when he said, "Really Fred?"

Fred stopped buttering and looked at Wesley when she said, "No, but…"

Gunn walked in, and both Fred and Wesley tried to look like they weren't having a serious talk. Gunn went to get some more coffee, and purposely stood between Fred and Wesley. Fred, hating the strained silence, said, "Our hotel room was very nice. We were on the fourth floor, and we had an amazing view of the ocean."

All three of them were glad when Angel walked in. Angel looked and felt tired. He said, "Hey Wes, glad you're here. I'll go into more detail later, but it turns out Connor has been going out to see a girl."

The room was silent for a few seconds and then Gunn said, "You mean like a girl….girl?"

"Yeah."

Fred said, "Well, that's…..nice."

Angel said, "I need a little more sleep, and Connor is already asleep. Could one of you wake us in two hours?"

Fred said, "Sure."

Angel said, "Thanks." And headed off to bed.

Fred, Wesley, and Gunn stood there for a few more seconds, and then Lorne came in. He said, "Morning kids. What's up?"

A couple hours later Connor was wolfing down some early lunch while Angel sipped some blood in the kitchen. When Connor was almost done Angel said, "I'm gonna go find Fred and we can talk for just a minute about her meeting Julie tomorrow morning before you start your tutoring."

Connor nodded and took another bite. When Fred got there, Angel said, "Hey Fred, we wanted to ask you a favor."

"Sure."

"I told you that Connor has been seeing a girl right?"

"Yes."

"Well, I wanted to meet her but Connor is a little uncomfortable with that, so I was hoping you could go with Connor and meet her tomorrow morning."

Fred smiled big and said, "I would love to meet her."

Connor cringed at the thought, but still knew it was better than Angel going would be. Angel said, "Then maybe when Connor sees that Julie doesn't run screaming from the room, he'll be more willing to let the rest of us meet her."

Connor said sarcastically, "Very funny Dad. Ha, Ha."

Angel ignored Connor and said to Fred, "Connor usually sees her around 7:30am, so you'll have to get up early."

"That won't be a problem. When Charles and I were away, we got up earlier than we usually do here."

"Good. Okay Connor, you can meet Fred in the lobby at seven, and go out the front door instead of your window."

Connor glared at Angel and said, "Fine. Are we done here?"

"Yep."

Connor got up and went to find Wesley or Gunn. When Fred and Angel were alone he said, "Hey Fred, I didn't want to say anything while Connor was here, but I want you to take a close look at Julie, and ask her some questions about her and Connor. He said that he told her about growing up in Quar-toth, and that he told her about vampires. He said that she believes him, and still likes him. Now that may be true, and if so that's wonderful, but it takes most people a little more than a week to wrap their heads around those concepts. And half the people I've met are so good at denial that they wouldn't believe Connor even if he were to show them proof. I just want to make sure she's for real, and not trying to scam Connor in some way."

Fred said, "I understand, and I'll do my best. I don't want him to get hurt either."

Later that afternoon after tutoring with Gunn, Fred, and Lorne, Connor went to find Wesley. Wesley said, "Hello Connor. No hard feelings about yesterday I hope."

Connor raised his eyebrows and said, "I don't know."

"Well if it helps, I don't hold it against you that you punched me."

Connor did hold it against Wesley that he had shot him with bullets full of paint, so he said, "Okay."

"Angel has asked me to give you a little training with guns today. Just the basics of how to load and unload, and a little practice shooting."

Connor nodded and said, "Yeah, he told me."

Wesley nodded and said, "Okay then let's get going. I'll let Angel know we're on our way."

"Where are we going?"

"My apartment. Some of my guns are not legal, and I wouldn't want us to be looking at them here in the lobby if someone came in looking for help. Then we'll take a couple of the legal guns to the shooting range for some target practice."

Soon they got to Wesley's apartment. Connor was surprised when he walked through the door at how much the place smelled like Lilah. As Wesley was getting out his guns Connor said, "Why do you like her?"

"Who?"

"That lawyer Lilah. The one Dad says is evil."

Wesley frowned and said, "What makes you think that I like her?"

"Your whole apartment smells like her."

"Oh."

They stood in silence for a while. Then Wesley said, "I don't really like her. Well, that's not entirely true. I like her sometimes, and there are some parts of her that I have grown to love, but I don't trust her. And the side of me that she likes I don't usually like in myself."

Connor was confused. He said, "Then why do you spend time with her."

"Because…. I suppose because I'm lonely."

Connor nodded. They stood there in silence for a few minutes while Wesley thought about what he had just said. Connor eventually said, "Should we get started?"

By the end of the afternoon Wesley was confident that Connor knew enough about various guns that he wouldn't have any trouble knowing how to use one, or how to disable one.

That evening things were quiet. Fred had Connor mop the lobby floor for his hour with her, and while he worked she asked him all kinds of questions about Julie. Connor was embarrassed at how happy Fred seemed to be about the whole thing, and he answered her with as few words as possible. Once he was done with Fred, he was dreading finding Gunn and having to go over it all again, but went to find him anyway.

Connor found Gunn watching some baseball on TV. Connor said, "Hey Gunn. I'm done with Fred. What do you want me to do."

Gunn said, "Go wash and wax my truck, and let me know when you're done."

Connor was relieved when Gunn just stayed in front of the TV and didn't come to ask him more embarrassing questions about Julie.

When he was done he found Gunn again. Gunn was now flipping channels. Connor sat next to him and said, "I'm done, and there's still half an hour left."

Gunn said, "Hey, I wanted to tell you that I think it's great that you're seeing someone your own age."

Connor tried not to groan and waited for Gunn to start asking the questions. But to his surprise Gunn said, "If you ever have questions, or want to talk to someone about it, but you're too embarrassed to talk to your Dad, you can come to me. You can ask me anything you like, and I'll be straight with you. And I completely understand if you don't want to talk about it."

Gunn looked over at Connor and saw he had a huge grin on his face. Connor said, "Thanks Gunn."

Gunn turned back to the TV and said, "Sure."

They sat there for a few minutes and then Connor said very quietly, "You know, I've never said so, but I'm glad you're my friend."

Gunn reached over and put an arm around Connor's shoulders and then pulled his head down and towards him and gave him some noogies with the knuckles of his other hand. Connor said, "HEY!"

Gunn laughed and let Connor back up. He said, "It's my turn to make dinner, and since you have a half hour left, that means it's your turn little man."

Connor muttered, "Great." And walked towards the kitchen.

That night Connor went to bed a little early, and as he was getting into bed he heard a knock on the door. Angel came in and said, "I just wanted to say goodnight, and talk to you for a few minutes about Julie."

"Do we have to?"

"I don't mind you seeing her, but I do mind you going off and not telling me. So you'll have to make new arrangements for seeing her. No more leaving to see her when you should be sleeping. Get her phone number, and give her ours so that you can call her and set up times to go see her when you're both awake and not busy."

"Okay."

Angel walked over and gave Connor a hug and said, "Sleep good, and I'll see you in the morning when you get home with Fred."

"Goodnight."

The next morning Fred drove Connor over to see Julie. It actually was slower than when he ran because of traffic. On the way there Connor said, "Julie won't be expecting you, so do you think you could meet us in the coffee shop. You know, to give me a chance to explain."

Fred smiled and said, "Sure. The same coffee shop you were in last time?"

Connor said, "Yeah. I didn't say so before, but I'm sorry that I ditched you that day. I should have stayed with you to see the professor."

Fred patted Connor's knee and said, "You didn't ditch me, I told you it was okay to go. I know Angel told you to protect me, but we didn't know the professor was the bad guy."

Connor looked at Fred and said, "I think Angel and Gunn would say that I should have stayed with you even if you didn't want me to."

Fred laughed and said, "I'm sure you're right."

Fred pulled into the coffee shop parking lot, and said, "I'll see you in a few minutes."

Connor said, "Thanks Fred."

Connor ran to Julie's dorm room and knocked on the door. Julie opened the door and said, "Hi. I'm glad you're here. I was worried you weren't coming."

Connor said, "I came a different way, so I'm a little late."

Julie put her hands around his neck and kissed him. When they were done Connor said, "I need to tell you something."

"Okay."

"I haven't exactly told my dad, or anyone at the hotel that I've been seeing you."

Julie shrugged as if to say 'that's okay with me'. Connor continued, "And yesterday my dad found out I've been seeing you, and well he wanted to meet you."

Julie smiled and said, "That would be nice."

"Maybe we can do that sometime, but for now he wanted one of the group to meet you so I brought Fred with me today."

Julie smiled and bounced up and down a little and said, "The girl from Freddie's website? The one who was missing?"

"Yeah."

"That's so cool. I would love to talk to her. Let's go."

Julie pulled Connor's hand and started them walking towards the bookstore. Connor was a little unhappy that Julie was so excited to see Fred. He wanted Julie to be his friend or maybe more than a friend, but he didn't necessarily want Julie to be friends with everyone in the hotel. On the way Connor said, "Hey, could I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"Could you not talk about us going and hunting that vampire."

Julie stopped walking and said, "Why?"

Connor started to get a little red and said, "I would just rather you didn't."

"I don't like to lie Connor, and I'm not used to keeping things to myself. I'll try, but I might slip up."

Connor started them walking again and said, "If it comes out it's okay, I just didn't exactly tell my dad about it, and he wouldn't be happy about it."

"Why? You seemed to know what you were doing."

"Because I brought you, and you could have gotten hurt."

Julie frowned and thought about it the rest of the walk. They arrived at the coffee shop, and they ordered some drinks. Once they got their drinks Connor and Julie went over to the table Fred was at.

Fred had already gotten a coffee, and had been watching them. She noticed right away that they were holding hands when they came in. Fred thought it was cute. When they got to the table Fred smiled and said, "Hi, I'm Fred."

"I'm Julie. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

They all sat there in silence for a minute, and then Fred said, "So Connor tells me that you are studying Philosophy, what classes are you taking?"

Julie told Fred about her classes. Soon Fred realized that when she was going to college there, she had taken a class from one of Julie's favorite professors, and they talked about him for a while. Connor sat there feeling like an outsider while they talked about school.

Then when that subject had been talked out there was a lull in the conversation, and Julie said, "I read all about you and the other girls that disappeared on Freddie's website."

Fred lost her smile. Julie said, "Connor told me all about the dimension he was from. What was yours like?"

"I don't really like to talk about it. It was a nightmare."

Julie looked disappointed but said, "Okay. Sorry if I brought back some bad memories, it's just that all this supernatural stuff is new to me, and I want to learn more."

Fred said, "Most people who hear about other dimensions don't really believe it."

Connor said, "I told you she was there at your lecture. She saw the portal open up."

Fred looked at Julie and said, "Lot's of people saw it, but not very many of them actually believed what their eyes were telling them."

Julie shrugged and said, "I've always believed in the supernatural. It's just exciting to be right."

Fred said, "I suppose I can see that. I mean, when I was younger I never imagined this kind of thing was real, but I think I would have found it exciting if I hadn't learned about it the way I did. Sometimes I still get kind of excited when we see something new, like a demon that hasn't been documented."

"How many kinds have you seen?"

"I don't know….hundreds."

"Wow."

"But vampires are the ones you have to watch out for, because there are so many of them."

Fred noticed that Julie visibly shuddered at the word vampire. Fred continued with, "Connor said that he told you about them."

Julie nodded and looked away. No one said anything for a few seconds, and Fred thought something was off, because Julie had been quite a chatterbox so far. Connor wanting to get the conversation away from vampires said, "Hey Julie, I know I've been meeting you in the mornings, but I can't keep doing that. Because of the work my dad and the other's do we keep odd hours, and usually I don't get up until about ten, so I've been getting pretty tired."

Julie put a hand over his and said, "You should have said something. We don't have to see each other in the morning. I'm usually done with classes around four, so anytime between then and midnight would be good for me."

Connor smiled and said, "Okay. Can I get your phone number so that I can call you and set up a time to go out?"

Julie smiled too and said, "You mean like a date?"

Connor's eyes darted to Fred who smiled and nodded, and Connor said, "Um….I guess."

Julie got a napkin from off the table and got a pen out of her purse. She wrote down her number and gave it to Connor. She said, "Can I have yours too?"

Connor said, "Yeah."

He wrote his on a napkin too, and gave it to her. Then he said, "I guess Fred and I should get going."

Julie smiled and said, "Okay. Do you have time to walk me home like usual?"

"Yes."

Fred said, "It was nice to meet you Julie. You should come by the hotel soon and meet the rest of the group."

"Thanks that would be fun."

Connor rolled his eyes while neither woman was watching. He pulled Julie's hand slightly and said, "Let's go."

Julie and Connor walked back to her room, and on the way Julie talked about how nice Fred was, and how she would like to meet the rest of Connor's friends. When they got to her room Connor leaned down and kissed her for a few minutes before letting her go. When he was done he said, "I'll call you around four tomorrow, and we can make plans for tomorrow night if you want."

Julie gave him another quick kiss and said, "Sounds fun. Maybe we could go to a movie. I love movies."

"Okay."

Connor met Fred back at the coffee shop, and they headed for home. Fred talked about Julie and how she seemed to be a very nice person all the way back to the hotel.

When they got back to the hotel Connor did his tutoring with Fred first since they were both up. Then when Wesley arrived, Connor did tutoring with him while Fred talked to Angel. She gave a glowing report about Julie, and Angel was a little less worried, but still knew he wouldn't be all the way happy until he met her himself.

The rest of the day went pretty normally for Connor. He did his tutoring, and his hours with Fred and Gunn. After dinner he did some training with Angel. While they were practicing some hand to hand combat Angel said, "So, was it horrible to have Fred meet Julie?"

"No, but it wasn't fun either."

"Do you think you could bring her by here to meet the rest of us soon?"

"Well, I don't really want to but Fred invited her, and Julie wants to, so I guess I can bring her by tomorrow after we go out. She asked if it would be like a date…isn't that a sticky fruit? I think I've had some. Why would going out be like fruit?"

Angel was so busy laughing he didn't block Connor's punch, and took a hit in the stomach. Connor was pleased that he got in a punch, but then looked at his dad's face and saw he was laughing too hard to talk. Connor said, "What?"

Angle couldn't talk for a few seconds and finally he said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh, it's just…"

Angel broke down again and laughed some more. Connor got mad. He said, "What's so funny!"

Angel stopped laughing with effort and said, "Sorry. The word date has more than one meaning. There is a fruit called a date, but date also means two people who are attracted to each other going out together to get to know each other better. There's also the date on the calendar."

"I thought about that. Wesley always shows me what the date is on the calendar, but that didn't seem to make sense. I thought it was one of those weird phrases that never seem to make sense when I first hear them. Like 'hold your horses' or 'don't have a cow'."

Angel nodded and said, "You like her a lot don't you?"

Connor had gotten a little more comfortable with the fact that everyone knew about Julie, and that they were going to let him keep seeing her, so he said, "Yeah I do. It's so coincidental that she was there to see Fred when the portal opened. It's like….destiny."

Angel got a vision of Spike saying something similar about Drusila and had to laugh again. Connor was even angrier this time and started to walk up the stairs and away from Angel. Angel said, "I'm sorry Connor. Don't go. I didn't mean to laugh at you, it's just that you sounded a lot like someone I used to know."

Connor having been laughed at twice was not in the mood to open up to Angel any more that night, and kept walking. Angel said, "Connor?"

Angel knew he hadn't been very nice and let him go. Fifteen minutes later Angel went to find Connor in his room doing homework. Angel said, "Hey Connor, I wanted to say I'm sorry again."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. It matters because you were opening up to me and I shut you out by laughing. How about if I try and make it up to you by telling you about the person you reminded me of."

Connor gave in and said, "Okay. I guess."

Connor listened to Angel talk for the next two hours about William the Bloody a.k.a. Spike, and some of the less evil things Darla, Angelus, Drusila, and Spike did together back in the day.

When Angel was done Connor asked, "Is Spike still alive?"

"Unfortunately. Still in Sunnydale last I heard. Probably giving Buffy a headache."

"Who's Buffy?"

Angel thought, 'How do I explain to my eighteen-year-old son that I slept with a girl who was barely seventeen? Then I have to explain that I'm still in love with her but can't be with her. Then we have to go into the whole Angelus coming out and trying to kill her thing.'

Angel sighed and said, "It's late. That's a story for another day."


	14. Chapter 14

**WARNING****: This chapter has sex in it, but it's not very graphic.**

**How it should have been - Chapter 14**

The next day Connor kept watching the clock waiting for four o'clock to roll around. When it was three, he was done with all his tutoring, and he went to find Angel. Angel was in his office and looked up when Connor came in. Connor said, "Hey. I'm gonna call Julie in an hour, and I was going to ask her to see a movie tonight."

"Okay. As long as you still have time to finish all your other responsibilities that's fine with me."

"Um….I was wondering…"

"What?"

"I remember when we went to the movies that it was kind of expensive, and I have some money left, but not much…."

Angel stood and got a couple of twenties out of his wallet. He said, "Here."

Connor was happy that it had been so easy. He took the money and said, "Thanks."

Angel said, "How are you going to get there?"

"Run."

"No, I mean how are the two of you going to get to the movies?"

"Walk?"

Angel pulled out a couple more twenties and said, "We'll have to teach you how to drive soon, and get you your drivers license. For now take a cab. Do you know how to do that?"

"No."

Angel got the phone book and wrote down a number for Connor on one of his business cards. He said, "Just call this number and tell them the address you're at, and they'll come get you, and drive you where you want to go. They charge you by the mile, and you should give them a little more money then it actually costs for a tip."

"Okay. Thanks."

Angel put a hand on Connor's shoulder and said, "You're welcome. I just hope I can meet her soon."

Connor called Julie right at four o'clock and set up a date for eight that night. He finished up his hours with Fred and Gunn before he left.

Connor ran to pick up Julie. He knocked on her door and when she answered, he just stood there staring for a few seconds. She had on a tight green top that exposed her midriff and a short black skirt that showed off her legs. Connor couldn't think of much of anything while he stared at her. She smiled and said, "I thought I should dress up for our first real date."

Connor tried to say 'yeah', but the sound that came out was more like, "yah-huh."

Julie pulled him down for a kiss. When they were done Connor said, "You look good."

"Thanks."

"We should call the cab, and then while we wait, we can decide what movie to see."

"Okay, come on in."

They called the cab, and looked at movie times on the internet while they waited. Things went well at the movies, and when they were getting ready to call the cab to leave Julie said, "I had a really good time Connor. Thanks for taking me."

"I had fun too."

"All day yesterday I was thinking about Fred and meeting her, and I was wondering when I could meet your dad and the rest of your friends."

Connor sighed and said, "I guess we could go right now if you wanted to take the cab there."

Julie smiled and said, "That would be cool."

Connor and Julie arrived at the hotel half an hour later. Connor went in and kept a hand on Julie's hand. He yelled out, "Hello. Anyone here?"

Angel came out of his office and was pleased to see Connor and a girl he assumed was Julie. He smiled and said, "Hi."

Connor said, "Where is everyone?"

"Fred and Gunn decided to go on a date too. Wesley already went home, and Lorne…Lorne went to karaoke night at the bar down the street."

Angel shuddered at that last one. Connor frowned and said, "Oh well, I brought Julie to meet everyone, but I guess she just gets to meet you."

Julie let go of Connor and walked over to Angel. She held out her hand and said, "Nice to meet you…Connor's dad."

Angel smiled and shook her hand. He said, "It's Angel, and it's nice to meet you too. Did you kids have a good time?"

"I did. Did you Connor?"

"Yes."

Angel said, "Would you guys like to have some coffee or something? I think there's some leftover pie in the refrigerator."

Julie said, "Thanks, but I should be getting home. I have to get up for class tomorrow at eight."

"Okay, well thanks for stopping by, and I hope to see you again soon."

Julie went back over to Connor, and as they were going up the steps Julie figured she was out of Angel's hearing range and whispered to Connor, "Your dad's hand was cold. It felt like that horrible vampire you took me to see."

Connor closed his eyes and shook his head at his luck. He looked behind him to see Angel who had lost his smile, and had one eyebrow up questioningly. Julie said, "Connor?"

Connor looked at Julie and whispered back, "He doesn't have very good circulation."

As they got to the door Angel called, "See you later son."

Connor didn't reply. As Connor opened the door for Julie she whispered, "And he looks so young. He must have been a teenager when you were borne."

Angel could just make out Connor's reply of, "He's older than he looks. And besides in this dimension, it's only been seven months since I was born." before they were out of range.

The whole way back to Julie's place Connor was distracted and didn't talk much. When they got to Julie's dorm Connor forgot to pay the cab driver until the guy yelled at him. Julie was able to distract him for a few seconds with a long kiss, but then she said goodnight, and Connor was alone. He decided to walk back to the hotel instead of taking a cab or running. He thought, 'If I walk really slowly, it might take me an hour to get back. And hey if I get attacked and have to kill something along the way, well that won't be my fault.'

An hour later he was standing outside the hotel, and thinking about trying to sneak in his window. After another five minutes of thinking about it, he took a deep breath and went through the front door. Angel went to his office door as soon as he heard the hotel door open. Angel leaned against the office doorframe with his arms crossed and looked at Connor expectantly. Connor sighed and said, "I had to show her. She was walking around at night, and didn't believe me when I told her why that wasn't safe."

"So you put her in danger to keep her safe?"

Connor went to sit on the round couch in the lobby and said, "No. Not exactly. Well, maybe. It was just the one time."

"And when was that?"

Connor looked down at the floor and muttered, "A few days ago."

"I see. Why don't you come into my office, and we can talk about it some more."

Connor got up and slowly walked over to the office door. Angel stepped back and held the door open until Connor was through. Connor sat in one of the chairs and Angel shut the door behind them. Angel moved the chair that was next to Connor and put it directly across from Connor and sat down. He said, "I can't imagine that you went to go hunting at seven in the morning, so when was it?"

"Two thirty."

"When you told me you'd been seeing Julie every morning, was that a lie?"

"Two thirty is morning."

Angel asked, "Didn't I just spank you for lying by omission? Didn't I tell you that if you were out doing something that I probably wouldn't approve of, and then kept it from me that it was the same as lying?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't think this counted? Or maybe I didn't make a strong enough impression on you."

"You were already mad! I didn't want to make it worse."

"Well it's worse now then if you had told me about it then. Tell me exactly what you did."

"I snuck out right after going to bed, and met her at her dorm room. We tracked a vampire to the sewer, where I killed it."

"You took her into the sewer?"

"Yeah."

Angel shook his head and stood up to start pacing. He said, "And when did she touch it?"

"I sort of got knocked against the wall, and he….kind of grabbed her….and maybe tried to bite her."

Angel said, "I can't believe she's still talking to you! It sounds to me like you almost got her killed."

Connor got defensive. "At least when she was with me I had a good chance of protecting her. It would be worse if she didn't believe in vampires and got killed walking home alone at night."

Angel said, "You know Connor if you would just talk to me about things you would avoid a lot of trouble, both for yourself, and for other people. If you had told me about it, and convinced me that you really wanted her to believe in vampires, we could have caught one and brought it here to show her, and then we would have had the whole team for backup."

Connor thought about it. He said, "I didn't occur to me that you would do something like that."

"I wouldn't do it just any time, but since she's someone you're seeing I would find a way to show her that was safer than what you did."

Connor nodded and then Angel said, "Is there any thing else you want to tell me about? Any thing else you did, that you know I wouldn't like, while you were seeing her?"

"No."

Angel sighed. "If you had told me the morning I found out you were seeing Julie, I would have given you a few extra swats, and it would have been done. Now you get a whole new spanking."

Connor just glared at the floor. Angel picked up the hairbrush that he had put in his office right after Connor had left with Julie, and sat back down in his chair. He said, "Come on. Let's get it over with."

Connor stood and walked the couple of steps to Angel's side. Angel said, "Pants down."

Connor cringed and undid his jeans. Before Connor could push them down, Angel pulled Connor down across his lap, and pushed the jeans and underwear out of the way. He started spanking hard and fast. Connor yelped at the first couple of swats, and then the thought flashed through his head, 'What would Julie think about this?'

Connor bit his lip to keep silent as he felt his face heat up with shame at the thought of the girl he liked seeing this. He yelled, "You have no right to humiliate me like this."

Angel stopped in mid swing. He said, "I'm not doing this to humiliate you Connor. I'm doing it to help you. I want you to learn how to be a man in this society, and a champion. I have to teach you everything you need to know about life and this world in a year, and I can't fail you. I love you more than I can put into words. I know you hate it when I spank you, but I also know that it works."

Angel paused for a second and then started spanking Connor again and said, "You don't lie to me Connor, and you don't hide things from me because you think I'll be angry."

While Angel was talking Connor was listening intently, and thought about who he was when he first came to this dimension, and who he was now. His face heated up a second time thinking about what Julie might have thought of him wearing his animal skins and going off to take vengeance on a drug dealer because one of his junkies died. Or what she would think of him trying to kill his biological father. Then the spanking started again, and his mind was brought to focus on the reason for it. After twenty swats Connor was wiggling around involuntarily. He yelled, "Okay! Aahhh! I got it! Owww! No lying, and….Owww…no hiding things!"

Angel then said, "Good, now the rest of this is for taking Julie to hunt the vampire. Really not your best idea Connor."

Connor was soon crying, and Angel stopped once he thought he had gotten his point across. He tossed the brush on the floor, and pulled Connor's pants up. Then he turned Connor over and held him on his lap. Connor rested his head on Angel's shoulder and cried softly while Angel hugged him close. Angel said, "I don't know if this will help you or not Connor, but I want you to know that I'm not going to be spanking you forever. I do expect that there will come a time, probably in the next year or two when you won't need it. I kind of think of this time as retraining. Holtz taught you a lot of things that weren't right, and I have to fix those things if I can. But you have to know that I hate doing it. I don't like to see you in pain, and believe me, I remember what it's like to enjoy watching people in pain. But by giving you a little bit of pain now to change your behavior, I'm trying to prevent you from having much more pain later."

Connor was feeling better about it, and was extremely happy to hear that Angel did see an end in sight to this arrangement of theirs. He pushed himself off Angel's lap and wiped his face. He said with some humor, "I would call it more than a LITTLE pain."

Angel laughed and stood up next to Connor. He put a hand on his shoulder and said, "Try a hundred years in hell. Trust me its a little pain."

Connor said, "I'm tired. I'm going to go finish my homework and go to bed."

"Okay. Sleep well."

Connor headed towards the door, but then stopped right before he went out. He turned around and said, "Hey Dad."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for….for keeping me here."

Angel was at a loss for words. Connor turned and went upstairs. Angel had a big grin on his face the rest of the evening.

The next day was Saturday, and Connor knew Julie didn't have any classes, so he was hoping to see her during the day. He planned to ask Angel if it would be all right at breakfast. When he walked in the kitchen he saw Fred sitting on Gunn's lap, and they were kissing. Fred heard the noise, and stood up quickly and wiped at her mouth. She smiled at Connor and said, "Morning. I made some scrambled eggs if you want some."

Connor decided things were definitely back to normal for the two of them. He had caught them kissing on more than one occasion in the four months he had lived with them. He smiled and said, "Thanks Fred."

As Connor was finishing his plate of eggs, Angel came in and gave everyone a short wave of hello. After Angel had a mug of warm blood in his hands Connor said, "Hey Dad, Julie doesn't have any classes today, so I thought maybe I could see her around lunch time. I mean her lunch time, around noon."

Angel took a sip and said, "I guess. As long as you finish up all your other stuff sometime today it's fine. And you should know that the first time you see her and don't get all your other stuff done, you won't be seeing her the following day."

Connor nodded and said, "That's fare."

Angel was surprised at how mature that sounded, and it showed. Connor smiled and said, "I've decided to prove to you that one year of retraining is more than enough."

Angel nodded and smiled.

Connor called Julie and asked her if she wanted to go out to lunch. She offered to take him to a restaurant that she liked which was right next to the campus. Connor did his tutoring with Wesley and Lorne, and then went to meet Julie for lunch. They had a nice lunch together, and on the way back to Julie's dorm room Connor thought about how glad he was that Angel had made him stay at the hotel. He wondered where he would be now if Angel hadn't gone looking for him. He was pretty sure it wouldn't be as nice as what he was doing now. When they got to Julie's dorm room she said, "Do you have to get back right away?"

"No."

"You wanna come in for a little while?"

"Okay."

Connor went in and stood by the window while Julie shut and locked the door behind her. Julie went and sat on the bed. She said, "Why don't you come sit by me?"

"Okay."

Connor sat next to her, and she put her hands on his face and pulled him down for a longer kiss. Soon he felt her hand on his knee, and it slowly moved up his thigh. He jumped a little when her hand got to his groin. She stopped the kiss and took off her shirt as she said, "Have you ever been with a girl Connor?"

Connor looked confused and said, "I've been with you lots of times."

Julie smiled and said, "No, I mean have you had sex before?"

"Sex? I don't know."

Julie's smile got bigger and she said, "If you don't know, then you probably haven't."

Julie took Connor's hand and brought it up to cup her bra. She said, "Would you like me to take this off."

Connor stared at her bra and nodded. He let go of her when she reached behind her and undid the clasp. She took it off and he just sat staring. She reached for the bottom of Connor's tee shirt, and pushed it up as she said, "Your turn."

Connor helped her take off his shirt. Once they were both topless Julie lie back on her pillow and said, "Come kiss me."

Connor lay on his side next to her and they kissed for a while and explored each other's skin. After a few minutes of this Connor stopped and said, "Do you want to mate with me?"

Julie looked at him confused and said, "Mate?"

Connor said, "You know, like mating season, when the animals mate, except people do it anytime of year."

Julie said, "Yes. I want to mate with you. Sex is a different word for the same thing."

Connor smiled and kissed her again while trying to get out of his pants.

A while later Connor and Julie lay on the bed cuddled together relaxing. Connor said, "That was amazing."

Julie said, "Yes it was."

Connor gave her another kiss and said, "But I really should get going. If I don't get back soon, someone will come looking for me."

Julie said, "Okay. Will you come see me tomorrow?"

Connor kissed her and said, "No one could stop me."

When he got home Connor walked into Angel's office and sat down. Angel looked up for a second to see who it was and then looked back at his paperwork. He said, "So how was…"

Angel looked back up and sniffed the air. He got up and walked closer to Connor and sniffed again. He said with disbelief, "You had sex."

Connor smiled easily, "Yes. It was good. I liked it."

Angel stared at his son for a few seconds. He blinked and said, "What?"

Connor spoke slowly as if he were talking to a child, "I enjoyed it. I plan to do it again…..Is there a problem?"

Angel shook his head. "You've only known Julie for a week!"

"I know, that's why I was so pleased that she chose to mate with me."

"Mate?"

"Oh, sorry, have sex."

Angel couldn't believe how casual Connor was about it. He said, "Did you at least use protection?"

"You mean like a sword or something? No, but I can hear well enough to stop and get ready to fight before anyone could attack. She was safe."

Angel stood there for a few seconds trying to understand what had gone wrong. He opened his office door and yelled, "Wesley!"

Wesley and Fred were researching a demon together when they heard Angel yell. Wesley looked questioningly at Fred. She shrugged and said, "I don't know."

Wesley went in to Angel's office. Angel shut the door behind them. He crossed his arms and said, "Connor had sex."

Wesley looked from Angel to Connor and back to Angel again. He looked fairly uncomfortable and said, "I don't see what that has to do with me."

Connor mumbled to himself, "Me either."

Angel tossed his hands in the air in frustration and said, "You were the one who tested him for knowledge of this world! How did sex education not come up?"

Wesley looked even more uncomfortable and said, "We went over anatomy. He could name all the….parts and their functions. He was able to explain pregnancy and what happens to a woman's body."

Connor laughed and said, "Why are you talking about pregnancy? I didn't go out and marry her."

Wesley said, "Oh my."

Angel said, "Exactly."

They both looked at Connor who said, "What?"

Angel grabbed a fist full of Wesley's shirt and said, "Fix this."

Wesley hissed, "You fix it."

"You're the teacher."

"He's your son."

Connor was getting a little uneasy. Angel said, "Okay, we'll both do it."

Angel pushed Wesley into a seat and took one himself. He looked at Connor and said, "I don't know where to start."

Wesley said, "Why don't you tell me what having sex means to you Connor. What is the reason for it."

"The reason for it? I'm not sure. On Quar-toth Holtz and I saw many different beasts mating. Usually the most powerful male was the one who got to mate with the most females. The females trust the strongest males to protect them and help them find food, and so they stay with those males. Sex feels good, so I guess sex is like a reward for being the most powerful male around."

Angel shook his head and said, "Jeez, don't let Fred hear you say that."

Wesley said, "Or any girl for that matter. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for the woman as well as the man. Did Holtz tell you that sex was like a reward for the male?" 

"No, I just figured it out from watching things around me. Like Gunn and Fred. He's the most powerful male of her species here, so she has chosen him to mate with, and he protects her."

Angel groaned and said, "What did Holtz tell you about sex?"

"He said it was a good time to hunt, because the animals were distracted."

"No, I mean what did he tell you about you having sex."

Connor looked up to the ceiling thinking. He said, "I don't think we ever talked about it. There were no females of my species in Quar-toth. I had never seen a human female before coming to this dimension, so why would we talk about me having sex with one?"

Angel looked frustrated. Wesley said, "What did Holtz tell you about marriage?"

Connor got a serious look and said, "He often talked of his wife and how he missed her. He said that a man wasn't really a man until he had a wife, because you have to have a wife before you can have a child to carry on your family name and traditions. He said once a man is married, he is responsible for the care and protection of his wife and children for the rest of his life."

Wesley continued the questioning. "How does a woman become pregnant?"

"God."

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

"Once a man and woman are married, God decides when they should have a child, and then He allows the woman to become pregnant."

Angel said, "Did Holtz tell you this?"

Connor looked at Angel and said, "Yes. He also told me that the Devil was the one who allowed Darla to become pregnant. He said God didn't think you were worthy of a child, and that's why God put me in his care, to protect me from you."

Angel was getting more and more frustrated with the conversation and said, "How could you not question that Conner? I mean you've been here for four months now. I know I've only been around for the past month of that, but haven't you watched enough TV, and seen enough people to know that most of what Holtz told you was a lie?"

Connor got defensive. "How should I know what to believe? Every time I ask about something that happened on TV Gunn, Fred, or you tell me it's not real. You say it's just pretend, and that those things aren't really happening unless it's the news or sports. And the only people I know are here. The only other people I meet are new clients, and all of you lie to them about what's really happening. I don't see what your problem is anyway. Gunn and Fred mate all the time. Wesley and Lilah mate all the time and he doesn't even trust her. Lorne doesn't mate, but he doesn't have anyone of his own species here to mate with. You're just jealous because I've found a girl who wants to mate with me, and Cordy left you."

Angel closed his eyes and counted to ten in his head. He said, "I'm sorry I've failed you in this area Connor."

Angel turned to Wesley and said, "Time for Sex Ed. 101."

Wesley said, "And we haven't even talked about diseases."

Angel said, "Oh God! I didn't even think….Oh God."

Connor looked nervous and said, "What diseases?"

Wesley thought about it for a minute. He looked to Connor and said, "Have you ever been sick Connor? Can you ever remember having a runny nose, or a sore throat? Have you ever vomited?"

"No. Holtz used to get sick all the time. He said it was because of the monster."

"What monster?"

"The monster inside me that made me heal fast. He said it also stopped me from getting sick the way I was supposed to. He always made me fast and say extra prayers when he got sick, because the monster was too strong to let the sickness get me."

Angel felt ill hearing more about the way Holtz had twisted Connor's sense of himself.

Wesley turned to Angel and said, "I doubt he can get any diseases, sexually transmitted or other. He should be tested of course both now, and a few months from now for AIDS and the others, but I doubt it will ever be a problem for him."

Angel thought about what he had heard. He looked at Connor and said, "I know I've told you before, but I'm telling you again, there is no monster in you. If Holtz had been a real father to you, he would have been grateful that you didn't get sick when he did. I hope Wes is right."

An hour later, a fully informed and somewhat dazed Connor came out of the office. He went to his room and sat there thinking for half an hour. Then Gunn yelled at him from the bottom of the stairs, "Connor! Phone!"

Connor went down the stairs, and saw everyone in the lobby. There was only one person who would be calling him, and he didn't really feel like talking in front of everyone so he asked Angel, "Could I use your office?"

Angel nodded and Connor went in and shut the door. He picked up the phone and said, "Hello."

Julie said, "Connor?"

Connor could tell right away that something was wrong. He said, "Are you okay?"

Connor could hear Julie crying, and he said, "Julie?"

"My….my mom. She's dead."

Connor felt a rush of emotions. He remembered how he felt when Holtz died, and felt awful that Julie now had to feel that kind of emotional pain. He felt useless, because he didn't know what to do to help, and he felt angry that this happened just as their relationship was starting out. He said, "I'm so sorry. Do you want me to come over? Is there anything you want me to do?"

Julie couldn't talk for a few minutes because she was crying. She said, "No…I…I have to go home. I'm…taking the next flight. Dad set up the ticket. The cab is waiting. I just can't believe she's gone…"

Connor didn't know what to say or do. There was silence while Julie cried. He said, "When will you be back?"

"I don't know."

"Will you call me?"

"Yes."

"I'll miss you."

"Me too. I have to go."

"Okay."

"Bye."

Julie hung up the phone. Connor stood there looking at the phone for a minute, and then ripped it off the desk and smashed it against the office wall.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note****: This chapter has spoilers for the episode 'Apocalypse, Nowish (aka Rain of Fire)'**

**How it Should Have Been Chapter 15**

A month had passed since Julie left for home. She had called Connor a couple of times each week during the month just to talk, and he knew she was planning to come back to school in three days. It was late October, and in the middle of the fall term, but Julie said she was just going to audit some classes, get a temporary job, and try to get back into the swing of school until winter term started. She also said she needed to get away from her parent's house because it was too depressing. Connor was excited to see her, and everyone else in the hotel was happy for him.

During the first two weeks she was gone, Connor had moped around the hotel, and depressed everyone until Angel decided he'd had enough of that. He'd taken Connor into his office, and sat him down.

Angel said, "Look Connor, I know you miss Julie, but you have to snap out of this….mood you're in."

Connor sneered back, "I'm not in a mood!"

"Yes you are, and you're making everyone around you miserable too. Just now when you saw Gunn and Fred kiss you yelled at them that they were grossing you out. Yesterday when Wes came in smelling like Lilah you rolled your eyes and walked away when he said hello. And four days ago when we were killing the vampires down at the pier, I had to yell at you three times to stop being so reckless while fighting."

"Whatever."

"No, that's not good enough, I want you to promise me that you'll try to stop being so unpleasant to everyone."

"No. You don't know how hard it is to see Gunn and Fred all happy when Julie is two states away."

Angel yelled, "The hell I don't!"

Connor was taken by surprise at Angel's outburst, and stayed silent. Angel ran his hand through his hair and turned away from Connor. While he was looking out his office window he said, "You know that I have a soul now, but I've never told you how I got it."

Connor surprised Angel by saying; "Wesley and Gunn have both told me about the curse."

Angel turned around, "They did?"

"I think Wesley told me because he wanted me to know that you'd suffered for your past, and I think Gunn told me because he wanted me to be careful if you got too happy."

"What exactly did they tell you?"

"You were cursed by a Gypsy who's family you slaughtered. You spent a hundred years or so living mostly outside of society, because the guilt from what Angelus had done made you kind of insane until you started trying to do good in society. They also said that part of the curse is that if you are ever truly happy, your soul will go away and you turn back into Angelus."

"Did they tell you about Buffy?"

"No."

Angel sighed and said to the ceiling, "Of course not."

Connor snipped, "I don't know what all of this has to do with me missing Julie."

"Buffy is the love of my life."

Connor's eyes got wide and he said, "Oh."

There was silence for a few seconds and then Connor said, "What about Cordelia?"

"Cordy was nice, and I can say that I loved her, but not in the same way."

"So tell me about Buffy."

"Did Holtz ever tell you about Vampire Slayers?"

"Yes. They are very powerful girls who kill vampires. When one dies, then a new girl becomes the Slayer."

"Buffy is a Slayer."

"Don't you mean The Slayer? I thought there was only one at a time."

"Buffy has died. Twice actually, and when she died another girl became the Slayer. Then Buffy was brought back to life, so there are currently two Slayers. Buffy and Faith."

"So why would you be in love with a Slayer? Wouldn't she just kill you if she saw you?"

"I loved her from the first minute I saw her. She didn't know I was a vampire at first, and I helped her to fight evil. She was attracted to me before she knew. And then even after she found out, she still grew to love me."

Connor shook his head thinking. Angel said, "We were together for a while, and it was…..the happiest time of my life."

Connor nodded and said, "But then you were too happy?"

Angel said, "The first time we made love…I lost my soul, and Angelus was back."

"So did you kill her….you know, when you were done?"

"No. Angelus wanted to torture her first. The usual 'kill her friends and family in front of her before killing her' thing. Thank God she's stronger than me, and can pretty much kick my ass whenever she feels like it."

Connor sat up and said with disbelief, "She's stronger than you?"

"Oh yeah."

"Wow."

They were quiet for a few seconds again, and then Connor said, "So how did you get your soul back? How long were you without it?"

"Remember me telling you about Willow the witch?"

"Yes."

"She cursed me again and put my soul back. I was Angelus for a little less than a year."

Connor said, "Once that was done Buffy decided not to be with you anymore?"

"I was the one who left, but we both agreed.…eventually. I can't offer her any kind of happy life. I still love her with everything that I am, but we can't sleep together, and she deserves a better life. She deserves to be happy with a husband who can take her to the beach and enjoy the sun. She deserves the chance to have children and see them grow. She's pure good, and she deserves…..better than me."

"But if she still loves you, she can't be happy with someone else either."

Angel sighed and avoided commenting on that by saying, "So you see, I do understand not being able to be with the girl you love….if you love Julie that is. Do you love Julie?"

Connor thought about it and said, "Her happiness and safety is more important to me than mine."

"Sounds like love to me. But, being in love, and being apart from the person you love is NOT a good reason to be mean to your friends and family."

Connor sighed and said, "Okay Dad, I'll try to be….less moody."

Angel smiled and said, "Good. And I have something to help take your mind off it."

"What's that?"

"It's time to learn to drive."

During the next two weeks Connor had gotten his driving permit, practiced driving, and gotten his license.

During dinner the night Connor came home with his permit he said, "So, when can I practice driving?"

Angel said, "Anytime now that you have the permit."

"Can I practice tonight?"

"Sure."

"Cool. Do I get to drive your car?"

Angel coughed on his blood and choked out, "My car?"

Connor nodded. Angel said, "Well, I don't know. My car is a classic…"

Angel looked at Gunn who said, "Oh no you don't. You can forget that idea before you even say it. I gave up my soul for my truck once, and there's no way I'm letting anyone learn how to drive with it."

Angel turned to Fred who said, "Mine's a stick shift."

Angel turned to Wesley who had stayed for dinner. Wesley said, "I suppose that leaves me."

Wesley gave a long-suffering sigh and said, "All right."

Angel said, "Thanks Wes. I owe you one."

Wesley looked at Angel and said, "Actually I think it's still the other way around, and it's more like ten that I owe you."

Angel didn't know what to say at first. After a few seconds of silence he looked into his cup and said, "I don't know Wes. You fished me out of the ocean, and let me eat your blood fresh. I'd say it's close to even."

Wesley smiled ruefully and said, "Yes. Close."

Connor looked a little grossed out and said, "So can we go right now?"

Wesley said, "All right. I'll drive us to a large empty parking lot, and you can practice for a while."

For the next week Connor had fun practicing driving. He enjoyed having that much power under his hands to control. Wesley and Angel decided to stop the Biology lessons for a week, and have Wesley take Connor driving for an hour a day, so that he would have enough practice to be at ease when he took the driving test.

At the end of the week Wesley said Connor was ready, and took him to the DMV to take the driving test. Everyone was proud of Connor when he came home with his license.

Now Julie was coming home in three days, and Connor was excited to see her. He was also in good spirits because yesterday was the last day of the two months that Angel had made him work for both Fred and Gunn for an hour each every day as punishment for lying to them the whole time Angel was under the ocean.

That night Angel decided to celebrate. He took Connor out for dinner, where Angel had a glass of red wine, and Connor had a huge plate full of Mexican food. During dinner Angel said, "I'm really proud of you Connor."

Connor swallowed and said, "Why?"

"For growing up so much the past two months. You've finished with Fred and Gunn, and I think you're all good friends now. You've overcome your hatred of all demons, and made friends with Lorne. You've done so well with your studying that you're almost able to pass your GED."

Connor grumbled, "Geometry sucks."

Angel smiled and said, "I would have to agree, but you couldn't get a better tutor then Fred."

"I guess that's true."

"You have a girlfriend, who's coming home in a couple of days."

"That part I'll celebrate."

"And in the past month you haven't gotten spanked once. A swat now and then when you aren't listening to me, and you get right back on track."

Connor's eyes darted around the restaurant, and he hissed, "Jeez Dad, do you have to say that in public?"

Angel smiled and said, "None of these people can hear as well as we can Connor. It's so loud in here with that music, most of them can't even hear the people at their own tables without yelling."

Connor shook his head and said, "Still. Let's not bring it up."

"You've also become so much better at fighting with us as a team that it's almost flawless when we go out."

"I could fight okay before."

"You could fight alone, but not very well as part of a team. But what I really wanted you to know is just that I'm so very proud of you."

Connor rolled his eyes and was completely embarrassed, "Okay Dad. You said that, and now can we please talk about something else? Please?"

Angel smiled and said, "I'm just so happy to see you happy."

"Seriously Dad. If you don't knock it off, I'm gonna go sit in the car."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop."

Just then Angel's cell phone rang. Angel answered and after a few minutes said; "Okay we're on it."

He hung up, and saw that Connor was already shoveling the last few bites into his mouth. Angel got the check and paid as they headed out to the car. Connor asked, "What's the job?"

"Vampire nest."

"Cool. Can I drive?"

Angel didn't answer right away. He still hadn't let Connor drive his car, and he thought to himself that it really was about time, even if he didn't want to. He stopped at the car held out his keys and said, "Okay but…"

Connor let out a "Woohoo!" and grabbed the keys.

Angel thought about changing his mind, but he told himself not to be such a baby as he walked to the passenger side. He patted the hood before getting in and said both to himself and to his car, "It'll be okay."

Connor who was already inside said, "Of course it will be okay. Get in."

They drove to the vampire nest without incident, and even though Angel didn't need the air, he took a big breath and sighed with relief. Connor drove them to the back of the large warehouse, and they were both surprised to see three large dock doors open in the back. They could clearly see five vampires practicing throwing knives at a dead woman who was hanging on a couple of hooks on the wall. All five vampires froze and looked at the car's headlights. Connor thought 'I can stun them all with the car, and then none of them will get away when we're trying to kill them.'

Without warning, Connor stomped on the gas, and the car lurched forward towards the five vampires. Angel had his hand on the door handle, ready to get out and fight them by hand when the car lurched forward. He thought to himself, 'Wrong peddle Connor, you want the break.'

Angel didn't have time to do anything besides yell, "Noooo!"

Then the car hit. Two of the vampires were quick enough to jump out of the way, but the other three were hit. One of the three went under the car, and the other two bumped off the hood and the windshield, which was shattered. Connor smiled and stomped on the break. He looked to the side to see the other two vampires running. He stomped on the gas again and headed for them before they got too far away. Angel finally realized Connor was doing it on purpose, and he yelled, "Stop the car right now!"

Connor didn't look over when he said, "But I can get them in a couple of seconds. The others won't be able to get up right away."

Angel growled and said, "Stop. The. Car!"

Connor thought his dad was being unreasonable. He knew Angel was attached to his car, but he thought killing vampires should outweigh that. He pushed his foot down on the gas so that the car lurched forward to hit one of the other two vampires, which also bounced off the hood. Angel made a noise of frustration, and put his foot over on the driver's side to hit the break, and pulled the emergency break at the same time. The car spun to a jerky stop while still revving because Connor had his foot on the gas. Connor glared at Angel and said, "What?"

"Get Out!"

Connor tossed his hands in the air in frustration, and grabbed a stake from the glove box before he got out of the car. He ran to catch the vampire that he hadn't hit with the car. Angel sat there for a few seconds looking at his windshield and hood. Connor caught up to the vampire a couple of blocks away, and staked him from behind. He ran back to the car and saw Angel still sitting there. He yelled, "What are you doing? They're getting away!"

Connor saw that the one vampire that he had run over was still on the ground, but the other three were up and either running or limping away. He first ran to the one on the ground and killed him. The other three were going in different directions, and he didn't know which one to go after first. He yelled, "Dad, help!"

This shook Angel out of his trance, and he got out of his car and looked at the situation. Connor said, "Three left to kill. One's hurt."

Angel said, "Take the one headed to the park. I'll get the wounded one and the one headed for the ally. Meet you back here."

They both ran different directions, and in not much time had killed them all. Connor was the first back to the car, and he went to look at the woman on the wall. She wasn't much older then him. She was starring blankly. He reached up and closed her eyes. He went to the car and got an ax out of the trunk. Angel was coming back as Connor was about to cut off her head. Angel put his hand up and caught Connor's arm in mid swing. Connor looked questioningly at his dad. Angel said, "Even if she was turned, which I don't think she was, I'd rather kill her when she rises again than have her family see her in pieces."

Connor shrugged and went to put the ax back. He closed the trunk and turned to see Angel standing right behind him in his personal space. Connor was startled and took a step back. His leg hit the car, and he sat on the trunk lid. Angel leaned down so his face was right in front of Connors when he said, "The car is NOT a weapon!"

Connor rolled his eyes and said, "Get over it Dad. Your car isn't as important as killing the monsters."

Angel tossed his hands in the air, very much resembling the same gesture Connor had used a few minutes ago. He started pacing and said, "My car more important! I kill things every day! If I used my car to run them down all the time, I wouldn't have a car!"

Connor turned his upper half around to look at the front windshield and hood. He said, "So get it fixed! You said that was what insurance was for."

"Yeah for accidents Connor, not for running into things on purpose! And even if it was an accident, the insurance payments go way up with each problem. Now I'll have to pay for it myself, and it's not cheap."

"Oh…."

Angel said, "Oh? You wrecked my car after I told you to stop…."

Angel looked over at the hood of the car and sounded close to tears when he said, "…my beautiful car…."

Angel looked back to Connor and yelled, "….and all you have to say is 'Oh'?"

Connor looked down at the cement floor and mumbled, "Sorry?"

Angel took the step that separated them and grabbed Connor's upper arm. Connor looked up nervously and Angel said, "If you're not now, then you're gonna be."

Angel pulled Connor up, and sat himself down on the hood of his car. He tipped Connor over his lap and started spanking him hard and fast. Connor yelled, "But it's just a car! Owww!"

Angel stopped and said, "Just a car? Just a car?"

Angel started spanking again and as he was spanking he said, "It's not JUST a car, it's MY car. You are not to use my car as a battering ram!"

It had been a while since Connor had been spanked and he was surprised again at how strong Angel was, and unhappy that Angel found it so easy to hold him down. He was also not happy that it hurt, and hurt a lot. He yelled, "Okaaayy! I won't do it again!"

Angel kept spanking and yelled, "Like I'll ever let you drive my car again!"

The spanking was painful, but Angel's comment was what made Connor start to cry. After having Angel tell him how proud he was less then an hour ago, and now to have him loose faith in him so completely hurt Connor more that the spanking did. After the first few sobs Connor was able to get out, "I'm sorry."

Angel was surprised that the tears and apologies had started so soon, and he gave Connor a few more swats before stopping. He looked down at his son, and heard him crying, and felt his anger draining. He helped Connor stand up, and stood up with him. He pulled Connor into a hug and waited for the crying to stop. After a few minutes Connor was still crying, and Angel was feeling worse and worse. Connor mumbled through his tears, "I'm really sorry Dad. Do you…..can you….forgive me?"

The last was whispered, and Angel hugged Connor tighter and said, "Of course I forgive you."

Connor's crying started to slow down, and Angel pushed Connor away from his chest so he could look into his eyes. He was surprised when Connor kept looking at the floor. Angel said, "Look at me."

Connor darted his eyes up once, and then kept looking at the floor. Angel thought this was odd and said, "What's wrong? I mean I know what's wrong, but it wasn't that bad, so what's all this about?"

Connor got angry and pushed Angel away. He walked towards the passenger side door and said, "Nothing. Let's go."

Angel went back over the past few minutes in his head, and realized what had happened. He went over to the passenger side too and said, "You drive us home."

Connor looked at Angel clearly confused. He said, "But you said…"

"I was angry, and I said something stupid. I'm sorry about it, and I didn't mean it."

Connor just kept looking at Angel. Angel put a hand on Connor's shoulder and said, "I was mad about the car, and you did deserve to get spanked, because I told you to stop and you didn't, but I should have waited a couple of minutes until I was calmer. I didn't loose faith in you, and I'm sorry that you thought I had."

Connor nodded warily and walked around to the driver's door. On the way home they stopped at a pay phone, and Angel made an anonymous phone call to tell the police about the woman in the warehouse.

The rest of the way home Angel told Connor about the way car insurance actually worked. When Angel was done Connor said, "So you have to have it, but if you end up using it, whether it's your fault or not, you get screwed."

"Pretty much."

"That's kind of evil."

"Yeah, I guess it kind of is."

The next morning the office was flooded with phone calls. There were so many odd occurrences that everyone at Angel Investigations was busy. Fred and Gunn went to check on strange noises in someone's bathroom. When they got there, instead of finding a demon or a ghost, they found rats, and lots of them. Rats came out of the sink, the toilet, and the bathtub. Gunn and Fred ran from the room and shut the door behind them. The woman who had called them was waiting in the hall and said, "What was it? Did you get it?"

Gunn said, "You need an exterminator, not an investigator."

"Exterminator?"

Fred looked sympathetically at the woman and said, "Rats."

Gunn shuddered and said, "Lots and lots of rats."

The woman looked appalled, and Fred and Gunn headed for home.

While Fred and Gunn were out, Lorne took a call from a restaurant about cockroaches. In the morning when the owner had come to work, he had found the kitchen writhing with cockroaches, and the man was sure that one of his competitors had done it to him. He wanted someone to come check it out, and find out who had done it. Wesley and Connor went to investigate. They both looked around to see any signs of forced entry, but found none, and while they were there, the cockroaches seemed to multiply. They also told the owner that he should call an exterminator.

While Connor, Wesley, Fred and Gunn were all out, Lorne got another call from a hysterical housewife. She said something about her basement floor moving. It was morning, so Angel couldn't go, and Lorne was green, so he couldn't go. Lorne told the woman he would have someone there as soon as possible. When Fred and Gunn got back, Lorne sent them right out again. When they got there Gunn shined a flashlight down on the basement floor to find hundreds of snakes. He turned to the housewife and said, "You don't need us, you need an exterminator."

She broke down into tears and said, "I called them all!"

Fred said, "What do you mean?"

"I called every single one in the phone book, and they are all out on jobs, and have more jobs lined up. I didn't know who else to call!"

Fred patted the woman's back and looked to Gunn who didn't know what to do either. Fred said, "I'm sorry, but we really can't help. You should call and get your name on a waiting list for the exterminator, and stay out of the house until one of them can come fix the problem."

By the time Wesley and Connor got back to the hotel, Lorne had taken more calls then he could remember, and had fifteen urgent jobs lined up. Angel was pacing around trying to figure out what was going on. Lorne said, "Should we send Connor and Wesley two different places since we have so many?"

Angel stopped pacing and said, "No. Something is going on, and I don't want to send anyone else out until we're all here, and we can try and find out what's going on."

Ten minutes later Gunn and Fred got back. Everyone compared notes, and Wesley and Angel both said, "It's an apocalypse." at the same time.

Connor panicked. He got very pale and felt weak in the knees. He whispered, "The apocalypse?"

Angel saw his son was distressed and said, "Not THE apocalypse….well I don't think so anyway, just AN apocalypse."

Connor looked confused. Angel said, "I've seen more than one…." Angle looked at the ground when he said, "I even tried to cause one as Angelus."

Connor still looked confused and Wesley said, "I'm sure Holtz was very….explicit about the apocalypse, but Angel is right, there's more than one creature who would like to see this world end, and a few of them have the means to actually accomplish it. Just because there is an apocalypse doesn't mean God or the Devil have a hand in it. And it's our job to stop it."

Connor slowly nodded and thought about it some more. Angel said, "So does anyone have a suggestion for our next move?"

Just then there was a loud thud on the hotel's glass door. Gunn walked over to see what it was. He opened the door and said, "It's a bird. Looks like a sparrow. It must not have seen the glass."

Both Angel and Connor said, "Close the door."

Gunn still holding the door turned around and said, "What?"

Angel yelled "Close the door!"

Just as Gunn shut the door hundreds of birds started flying into the glass doors. The team stood and stared. Once the thudding stopped Angel said, "I have a plan. Lorne, you stay by the phone, and try to keep people calm."

Angel looked at Gunn, Fred, Wesley, and Connor and said, "You four keep investigating these calls, but don't spend much time at any one place. Just try to keep people calm, and give them common sense advice. But also keep your eyes open so we can all compare notes when we get together again. You all keep in touch by cell phones, and meet back here in two hours."

Connor said, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to see a girl about an apocalypse."

Connor looked annoyed and said, "What does that mean?"

Gunn leaned down and said, "Best not to ask when he gets cryptic like that. He won't tell you anyway."

Angel had already headed for the sewer entrance. Lorne got his paper and said, "Okay let's see, we have rats, rats, or spiders."

Gunn said, "No rats."

And at the same time Fred said, "No spiders."

They looked at each other and started laughing. Wesley looked away from them and said, "I'll take rats with Fred."

Gunn stopped laughing and glared at Wesley as he said, "You got something against spiders Wes?"

Wesley glared back at Gunn and said, "Not the way you seem to have a problem with rats."

Gunn said, "Connor you're with Fred. Wes and I can split up and get more done. He can take the second rat call, and I'll take the spiders."

Fred looked a little peeved and said, "Connor and I can split up too, it's not like someone has to come with me."

Both Gunn and Wesley said, "No." a little loud at the same time.

Fred looked like she was about to argue when Connor said, "I'm sure Dad wouldn't want me going out alone."

Fred scrutinized him, and when he gave her an innocent look she said, "I suppose that's true. Okay Lorne, where's the first place?"

Fred went to get the address off the counter, and Gunn leaned down to Connor and said quietly, "Thanks."

Gunn went to get his address and Wesley whispered, "That was very mature of you Connor. Thank you."

Connor whispered back, "Dad would not be happy if we left Fred alone."

Wesley nodded and went to get his address.

While the rest of the team was working full time calming the masses, Angel went to see Lilah. Lilah was having a very bad day. She was getting calls from all of the senior partners wanting to know what was happening, and she didn't have the answers. She had the very best people working on the information they had sucked out of Lorne's head, and they had been working on it for over a month with absolutely no success. Lilah didn't like failure, and the people above her liked it even less. Lilah was starting to worry for her wellbeing, and was getting a headache thinking about what was going on outside.

Lilah came back to her office from yet another large meeting where nothing was resolved. She was rubbing her temples when she heard her door shut. She turned to see Angel standing blocking her office door. She didn't have the energy for a fake smile and said, "What?"

Angel said, "Not happy to see me? Aren't you even curious how I got past your vampire detectors?"

"No, and no. What do you want? I'm busy."

Angel sauntered over to one of the office chairs and sat down. He said, "Nice apocalypse. Is it yours?"

Lilah snapped, "And what if it is?"

Angel nodded in understanding and said, "So it's not yours. Do you know who's it is?"

Lilah gave up and said, "No. Do you?"

Angel shook his head. He said, "You know Lilah, we could work together on this."

Lilah started laughing, and partly because of the stress of the day, she had a hard time stopping. Angel waited her out, and when she started to calm down he said, "I'm sure you have the best of the best working on figuring it out, but you don't have Fred or Wesley….well you HAVE Wesley, but you don't HAVE him."

Lilah was angry at that comment and said, "You've wasted a trip. Go home."

"How do your bosses feel about all this? I doubt they're happy about someone else starting an apocalypse when they've been planning theirs for years."

Lilah looked down at the papers on her desk and said, "Fine. We're pretty sure that this apocalypse is directly related to the information that we sucked out of Lorne's head. Every time one of the seers we have actually figures out what it's about, his or her head explodes before they can tell us what they've found. I'll give you copies of everything, but you have to agree to tell me if you find something out."

Angel, trying not to let it show how much it disturbed him that the things that were going on were somehow related to Lorne's reading of his son, gave her a false smile and said, "I'm sure Wesley will be happy to relay any information to you."

After he had been out working with Fred for an hour, Connor had a strange feeling. He couldn't describe what was happening to him, but he felt compelled to walk in the direction that made the feeling grow stronger. He and Fred had just finished up with a call about bats when Connor said, "This way."

Connor started walking and Fred stood by her car and said, "What?"

Connor called behind him, "We need to go this way."

Fred reluctantly followed him and said, "But we should call Lorne and see what other calls he's gotten."

Connor held up his hand for Fred to be quiet while he followed the feeling. They walked for about fifteen blocks before Fred said, "Connor honey, we should go back to the car."

Connor said, "It's very strong now."

"What's strong?"

"Don't you feel it?"

Fred looked around her and said, "That's odd."

"You feel it too?"

"No, but this place looks really familiar."

Connor turned back to Fred and said, "Don't you feel compelled to be here?"

Fred looked around and said, "No, sorry."

Connor closed his eyes and said, "I do."

Just then the earth started to shake around them. Fred lost her balance and fell to the ground. Connor barely stayed up himself. Then in the middle of the ally, a crack loudly appeared in the street. As the earth shook, the crack became wider and wider. Hot steam was coming out of the crack, and chunks of the street were falling into the ever-widening gap. Both Fred and Connor stood and stared at the hole until a large hand with claws reached out of the hole. Fred whispered, "What the hell is that?"

A second hand followed, and soon they could see a head with horns. As the creature started to rise from the hole, Connor and Fred both felt a sense of dread wash over them. When the creature was finally out of the hole, he stood seven feet tall, and looked to be made out of rock. Connor whispered, "The devil."

Fred whispered back, "A demon, a very large demon. We should go."

Connor said, "I will kill it."

Fred shook her head no but Connor was already starting to attack. Connor ran up to the demon and punched it full force in the stomach. Instead of flying across the ally, or at least falling down like Connor expected, the demon's only reaction was to look at Connor with curiosity and mild amusement. Connor's eyes registered his surprise, and Fred yelled, "Run!"

Connor glared at the demon, and punched him three times in the face as fast and as hard as he could. The demon's head barely moved each time. Connor jumped up and kicked the demon in the stomach with both his feet, and Connor ended up on the ground at the demon's hoofed feet. Fred cautiously walked the five steps to where Connor was on the ground and pulled on his shirt while saying, "Come on! We need to get the others to fight him."

While Fred was trying to pull Connor away, the demon grabbed Connor by the front of the shirt and pulled him up to see his face. Fred quickly backed away, as the demon tossed Connor across the ally and into a brick wall. Connor fell in a heap when he hit the cement floor. The demon walked towards Connor, and Connor scrambled to his feet in time for the demon to punch him in the chest, which slammed him into the brick wall again. The demon was about to hit Connor again, and then stopped in mid swing. He cocked his head to the side as if listening to something, and stepped back. The demon crouched down and jumped to the roof of the building next to them in one leap.

As soon as the demon was gone Fred rushed to Connor's side. Connor was on his hands and knees holding his stomach. He looked up at Fred, and she could see that he was drooling blood and had a nasty gash on his forehead. She said gently, "Can you walk?"

Connor took a few labored breaths and said, "In a second."

Fred got out her cell phone and called the hotel. Lorne answered and Fred said, "We have a major problem."

Lorne answered, "We have critters swarming in every inch of the city, and now you're telling me something is worse?"

Fred said, "A seven foot demon made of rock just clawed its way out of the earth and took Connor out with one punch."

Lorne said, "Took him out?"

Fred said, "He looks pretty beat up. We're fifteen blocks from our car, so could you please call Charles and Wesley to have the closest one pick us up? We're on…."

Fred looked up to the street sign and dropped her cell phone as she said, "Oh God."

Connor could hear Lorne say, "I didn't catch that. Where are you? Fred? Are you there?"

Connor looked up to Fred's face, and looked to the street sign she was staring at. He asked, "What?"

Fred turned back to Connor and whispered, "This is where you were born."

Connor looked up to the street sign and said again, "What?"

Fred pictured that rainy night in her head, and could see the small naked baby crying as the rain beat down on it. She said, "That's why it looks familiar. You were born in this ally, right over there."

Fred pointed to the hole in the street. Connor looked over to the hole with panic, and then looked back to the ground and puked. Fred noticed there was quite a bit of blood in his vomit, and looked around to find her cell phone. She told Lorne which street, and said, "Get someone here fast, we need help."

She hung up, and said to Connor, "Can you stand?"

Connor was again looking at the hole and didn't respond. Fred said, "Connor?"

Connor gave no indication that he had heard her. She stood in-between Connor and the hole and crouched down so her face would be in his line of site. She said, "Connor? Connor! You need to get up now."

Connor's eyes focused on Fred, and she said, "Can you stand?"

Connor nodded, and with her help he was able to stand. She put his arm around her shoulders to help support him and they slowly walked to the entrance of the ally. Fred looked around and pulled Connor with her to sit on the ground and wait for help. She made sure they were facing away from where the demon had appeared. She could feel Connor start to shake, and though he was probably in shock. She pulled his head down to rest on her shoulder and said, "It's gonna be okay. Someone will be here soon, and we'll go to the emergency room." 

Connor shook more violently. Fred said, "I know you haven't been before, but I'll stay with you the whole time. We need to see what kind of internal injuries you have."

Connor's voice was weak when he said, "We have to kill it before it hurts someone else. If it hurts someone it will be my fault."

Fred shook her head and said, "Why would it be your fault?"

"It has to be. It appeared where I was born. I'm the bastard son of two vampires. I'm an abomination. My birth was wrong…I am wrong. My being born caused this."

Fred silently cursed herself for letting that piece of information slip out before she could stop herself. She would have told Angel, but if she hadn't been so surprised, she wouldn't have told Connor. She said, "That's a complete load of bull Connor."

Connor shook his head and said, "It's a fact."

Fred said, "No it's not. It's a fact that you were born here, and it's a fact that you're the child of two vampires, but the rest of that is crap. I saw your birth. It was beautiful Connor. It wasn't wrong, it was a miracle. Your mother sacrificed her life for yours. She staked herself so you could live. This ally may be a convergence spot for supernatural activity, but that DOESN'T mean that you are connected to that thing that came from the ground."

Connor shook his head and was about to say something else when Gunn pulled up in his truck. Gunn jumped out and looked down the ally on his way to help Connor get into the truck. On the way to the hospital Fred gave Gunn a recap of what had happened in the ally, but omitted the talk of Connor being connected to the demon.

The emergency room was overflowing with people, some with minor injuries, and some with more serious injuries. Fred filled out paperwork while Gunn sat with Connor and called Lorne to get an update.

Gunn said, "Hey Lorne, we may be here a while, the hospital is crowded."

"Okay. I'll call you as soon as Angel gets back."

"No cell phone again?"

Lorne gave a long suffering sigh and said, "If he has it, it's either off, or he's just not answering. He probably lost it again."

Gunn nodded and said, "We'll call when we get info from the doctor."

Half an hour later Angel arrived back at the hotel with a large briefcase full of papers and notes. He smiled at Lorne and said, "Wanna look at what was sucked out of your head?"

Lorne was still in a huff about trying to get in touch with Angel. He said, "Where is your cell phone?"

Angel looked surprised at Lorne's tone and reached into his coat pocket as he said, "Right here."

Lorne held out his hand and Angel gave him the phone. Lorne opened it and then showed it to Angel. Angel looked at the phone blankly and Lorne said with false calm, "It has to be ON to work, dumpling."

Angel shrugged and said, "I thought it was on."

Lorne pointed a finger at Angel and said, "I can not believe that you expect Connor to become a responsible adult when you….."

Lorne paused in mid rant, and then said, "Did you say something about what was sucked out of my head?"

Angel smiled and was relieved to skip over the impending lecture. He said, "Yes, I saw Lilah, and she agreed to work together with us on this one."

Angel held up the briefcase and said, "Want to take a look?"

Lorne said, "Yes, but later. Right now, you need to call Gunn. He's at the emergency room with Fred and Connor."

Fifteen minutes later Angel had been reassured by Fred, Gunn, and Connor himself, that Connor was going to be seen soon, and that he wasn't in any immediate danger. Angel wanted to go to the hospital to be with his son, but it was still daylight out. After he hung up, he gave Lorne a sheepish look and said, "Okay, you were right, I should have made sure it was on."

Lorne said, "The little guy's gonna be fine. Let's take our minds off it with work. I'm dying to see what was in my head."

Angel nodded and started pulling pages and pages out of the briefcase. Once there was a huge stack in front of them Lorne said, "I take that back, I would have been dying if it had stayed in my head. Literally."

Wesley walked in the door and said, "What's this."

They all worked on trying to decipher what was in front of them for the next four hours.

Three hours after arriving at the ER, Connor was getting a x-ray. Fred told the doctor she was his aunt, and they let her stay with Connor the whole time. When the doctor asked what had caused Connor's injuries Fred answered for him. She said, "We were at a ball game, and there was a swarm of bees. He got trampled while trying to get out with everyone else."

The doctor shook his head and said, "If it were any other day…."

The doctor turned to look at Connor and said, "You have three broken ribs, and a lot of bruising. We'll wrap your abdomen to help keep the ribs stable, and you will have to keep it wrapped for a few weeks. I'll write you a prescription for some pain medication, and you should stay off your feet and limit your movements as much as possible for the next two weeks. Get lots of rest, eat right, and get lots of fluids, and you should be back to normal in a month."

Connor said, "Broken? I've never been broken before. I didn't know I could be."

The doctor looked to Fred with concern and said, "Did he hit his head anywhere besides his forehead?"

Fred smiled reassuringly and said, "No, he's just….this day has just been stressful."

The doctor nodded and said, "For me too. I'll get the nurse to come in and wrap him, while I fill out a prescription for you."

"Thank you."

Fred nudged Connor's leg and Connor also said, "Thank you."

It took another half an hour to get Connor's pain medication filled, but it seemed more like a couple of hours to Fred and Gunn, because Connor argued about it the whole time. They had called Angel for an update, and once Connor had learned about Angel's visit with Lilah he was even surer that he was responsible for the demon. He told Fred and Gunn that they were wasting time waiting for medication when they could be out looking for the demon. He told them he didn't need the medication, and that he wouldn't take it. He told them that they should get back and help Angel figure out what had come out of Lorne's head. And after twenty minutes of listening to Fred try and placate Connor, Gunn decided to end it. He cut Connor off in mid whine and said, "Connor."

Connor looked over to Gunn and said, "What?"

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop arguing. We're saying until your prescription is filled. End of story."

Connor opened his mouth and said, "But…"

Gunn said, "But nothing. You've been complaining for the past half an hour, and I've had it. Angel will want you to have the medication."

Connor shook his head no, and Gunn said, "I don't want to hear one more word about it."

Connor glared at Gunn, but kept his mouth shut for the rest of the wait. On the way home Gunn dropped Fred off at her car, and they all met back at the hotel.

Gunn helped Connor walk into the hotel, and Angel rushed over to him. Connor stood and tolerated Angel checking him over. Angel pulled Connor into a gentle hug and said, "I'm so glad you're home safe."

"Me too, but we have to stop that thing, that…Beast that came up from the ground."

Angel had talked with Fred over the phone while they were waiting for Connor to be seen, and he knew that the demon had appeared where Connor was born, and that Connor felt responsible. Angel said, "We'll stop the Beast, but right now, you've been injured, and you need to rest."

Connor started to shake his head no, and Angel said, "The rest of us are going to work full time to try and figure out what the information from Lorne's head means, but not you. Tonight, you are going to have some lunch, and take your medication, and lay down for the rest of the evening."

Connor said, "I have to help. It was my singing that gave Lorne all this information. It has to be all about how me and that Beast are connected."

"No it doesn't. It could be about you and the whole team fighting the Beast, and maybe even about how to kill it. You can help us best by resting and getting back your strength."

Connor glared at Angel and said, "I feel better already. I'm sure I'll be healed in a day. I don't need to rest."

Angel glared right back at Connor and said, "That wouldn't be a lie would it?"

Connor, still angry, looked away towards the stairs and didn't respond. Angel said, "Go lie down on your bed, and I'll bring up some lunch and your medication in a few minutes."

Gunn helped Connor up the stairs and to his room. Once Connor was lying on the bed Gunn said, "Your dad's right Connor. Just rest for the night, and see how you feel tomorrow. The whole team is going to be working on this new information, so don't worry, we'll figure it out."

Connor nodded and said, "Okay….Thanks Gunn."

Ten minutes later Angel came up with a tray for Connor. He set the tray on the bed, and Connor saw soup, crackers, juice, and pills. Connor shook his head and said, "I don't want the medication. The doctor said it could make me drowsy."

Angel said, "It will be good for your body to sleep. Take them."

Connor shook his head no and said, "I should be helping you."

Angel said, "It takes about two full days for my ribs to heal, so you're going to be out of commission for at least two days, if not more. Get used to it. Eat, take your pills, and sleep."

Connor opened his mouth to argue again and Angel said, "If you think I won't spank you when you're injured, you're wrong."

Connor shook his head and said in a matter of fact way, "My injuries never stopped Holtz from whipping me, I didn't think it would stop you either. But I did think talking might change your mind."

Angel winced at the comparison to Holtz. He reached over and brushed the hair off Connor's forehead. He said quietly, "Connor, you fight much better when you're well than when you're injured. Your injuries will heal much faster if you eat, and sleep a lot in the next couple of days. You will sleep better if you are not in pain, so the medication is a good idea. Does that make sense to you?"

Connor sighed and said, "Yes. Okay, I'll take them and eat."

"Good boy."

Angel watched while Connor took the medication and started to eat. Then Angel stood and said, "I'm gonna go help the others. You stay here and rest. I'll come wake you up if we figure anything out, or have any leads."

Connor nodded and Angel went downstairs.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note****: This chapter has spoilers for the episode 'Apocalypse, Nowish (aka Rain of Fire)'**

**How it Should Have Been Chapter 16 **

Once everyone was together Fred gave them all a detailed description of what had happened in the ally, and that Connor thought it was all his fault. Angel told everyone about his visit with Lilah, and showed them all the papers. Soon they were all working hard at trying to figure out what was on them.

The papers had words and phrases in so many different languages that Wesley didn't recognize them all. There were equations that Fred didn't even come close to understanding. The words, phrases, and equations were all going in different directions on the pages.

Fred spent the next four hours trying to figure some of the equations. Wesley tried to translate as much as he could. Lorne took phone calls. Angel kept one eye on the TV news to see if there were any sightings of the Beast, and at the same time he looked through the papers. Gunn went out to the jobs that seemed very urgent and full of hysterical people, and when he had down time, he looked helplessly at the papers that made no sense to him.

Gunn got back from an especially trying job, and sighed as he took a seat on the lobby couch. Angel looked up and said, "Okay everyone, how about a break. Take half an hour to do something else. Wes, why don't you order us all some take out. I'm gonna go check on Connor."

Connor was fast asleep, and Angel took the tray of empty dishes back to the kitchen and got himself some blood.

An hour later everyone had eaten and felt ready to tackle the problem again.

Around 3 AM Connor woke up hungry. He took a deep breath, and winced. He felt his ribs with his hand, and knew they were still broken. He did think they were getting better though. He slowly got out of bed and made his way down the hall. Everyone was still in the lobby looking through the papers. Angel was the first to hear him and went to help Connor down the stairs. Angel said, "Did you sleep well?"

Connor nodded. Once they were down the stairs Angel said, "How do you feel?"

"Sore. I can tell it's getting better, but it's not healed. I'm hungry."

Angel nodded and said, "I'll warm you up some food."

Connor stood and stared at all the papers, which were scattered in piles on the floor. He shook his head and followed Angel to the kitchen. After a large plate of food, and another dose of medication Angel told Connor to go back to bed. Connor could feel the food and drugs taking effect and went back to bed without much argument.

At 9AM Connor woke up again, and didn't feel quiet as bad. He was still very sore, but it was more tolerable. He went downstairs, and found everyone still in yesterday's clothes staring bug eyed at the papers. Angel said, "Morning. How do you feel?"

"Better. I'm hungry again."

Angel smiled and said, "Me too. All right everyone, let's take a break and eat, and get a few hours of sleep. Connor can take phone calls and wake us up if anything happens."

They all ate something and went to bed. Before Angel went to bed he said, "You wake me up if anything happens Connor."

Connor nodded. He felt better being able to do something to help, even if it was just answering the phone calls, which had been slowing down since 6AM.

Two hours after everyone had gone to sleep Connor was getting tired of looking at the papers that made no sense to him, and the phone calls had pretty much stopped. He was thinking about getting a snack when he looked up at the hotel doors to see Julie opening one. Julie saw him and smiled as she said, "Connor!"

Connor felt a rush of affection, happiness, and lust at the sight of her. He jumped up and went to her. He pulled her into a hug as he said, "I'm so glad you're back."

They kissed for a few minutes, and when Connor pulled back, he looked at her carefully. He said, "You smell different."

Julie laughed loudly and said, "I can't tell you how much I missed that."

Connor smiled too and said, "What?"

"Your blunt honesty."

Connor shrugged and said, "I missed everything about you."

They kissed again and this time Julie pulled back to say, "I just finished unpacking all my stuff in my new apartment, and then came to see you. I have an appointment at the registrar's office tomorrow. You wanna come see my new place?"

Connor shook his head and said, "I can't. I'm working."

Julie pouted. She said, "Okay. Maybe tomorrow then?"

"Yes. Or maybe even later today."

Connor looked around and said, "You could stay here with me for a while. I'm just answering the phone."

"Sure. That would be nice."

They had a snack together, and Julie told him what she had done since getting back to town. Connor told Julie about the strange occurrences with vermin throughout the city the past day, and about getting in a fight with the Beast.

An hour later Connor and Julie were sitting in the lobby staring at the papers together, but mostly talking about other things. Angel still half-asleep walked in and smiled when he saw Connor's smile. He said, "Julie, nice to see you again." 

Julie smiled and said, "Thanks. It's good to be back again."

Angel looked at the papers all over the floor and said, "Connor, will you go start some coffee while I wake everyone up?"

"Sure."

Soon everyone was up, and had met Julie. They were all sipping on coffee and starting to look at the papers again, and Julie was trying hard not to stare openly at Lorne. After a while Angel said, "Connor, you should probably go lie down and rest again for a while, and take some more pain medication."

Connor glared at Angel for bringing it up when Julie was there. Julie turned to Connor and said, "Were you hurt when you fought with that beast thing?"

"A little."

Angel said, "His ribs are very bruised, and the doctor said he needs to get as much rest as possible for the rest of the day."

Julie stood up and said, "You should have said Connor, I'll go home and go over the list of classes I want to sign up for. You rest, and I'll see you tomorrow."

Connor stood also and said, "It's not all that bad, and I wanted to see you."

Julie smiled and kissed him in front of everyone. She said, "You rest. Call me tomorrow when you get up okay?"

Connor smiled and said, "Okay."

Julie left and Angel said, "Snack, medicine, and bed Connor."

Connor mumbled, "I just had a snack, I'm not tired, and I feel much better."

Angel said, "I'm glad you feel better, and I think you will be tired after you take your medication which you're supposed to take with food, and you'll feel better if you give your body a chance to rest."

Connor rolled his eyes and said, "Okay, okay, but you'll tell me if you have a lead right?"

"Yes."

Connor went to bed, and the rest of the team all went over what each of them had been able to translate or decipher again. An hour later everyone was feeling a little disappointed and they were ready to give up. Gunn was sitting with a stack of papers in his hand feeling useless, and wishing a call would come in. He flipped through the pages rapidly, not really looking all that closely at what was written. He stopped and did it again, and then a third time. He suddenly stood up and said loud enough for everyone to hear, "You know what? I think we're looking too close."

Fred said, "What do you mean Charles?"

Gunn held up three pages, and put them end to end, while matching up the symbols on the edge of one page with the symbols on the edge of the next page. They all understood what he was doing right away, and they cleared a spot on the lobby floor, and started to also piece the pages together like a large jigsaw puzzle. Fifteen minutes later they were done. They all stood around looking at the picture that the papers formed. It was a huge box with an X in the middle. Lorne said, "X marks the spot?"

Gunn shook his head and said, "Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this doesn't mean anything."

Wesley said, "No, you were right. It's the eye of fire."

Fred nodded and said, "Archaic symbol for fire and destruction. We should look for references"

Wesley nodded and they walked off together to look in some books. Angel went over and patted Gunn's back and said, "Good job. Thanks."

An hour after that Lorne was cleaning up all the notes from the phone calls he had received when he stopped and said, "Angelcakes, we think these calls are related to the Beast right?"

Angel said, "Yeah."

"Well maybe we should see if there's a pattern to where the phone calls came from. You know, see if there's an area where the calls are concentrated, and maybe find where Rock Beast is hiding out." 

Angel nodded and said, "Good idea Lorne. Get a map and check it out."

Soon Lorne had a bunch of push pins in a map of LA, and by the time he was done pinpointing each location there was a large box with an X in the center just like the one on the lobby floor. Lorne showed it to the rest of the team and said, "I guess maybe X does mark the spot."

Angel pointed to the center of the X on the map and said, "Anyone know what's there?"

Gunn said, "I think it's a new dance club. It just opened. Sky something."

Lorne nodded and said, "That's right, its called Sky Temple. It's supposed to be the hottest new thing for the best and the brightest in Hollywood. Part of it is built on the roof so people can drink and be merry under the stars."

Wesley said, "That would be a fitting place for the apocalypse to start. It's a bed of sin, skin, and corruption, and the perfect place for the Beast to go if he want's to make a real scene."

Angel nodded and said, "Okay, it's about 3PM now, and it doesn't get dark for another four hours. None of us got much sleep last night, and we may have a serious battle on our hands tonight, so we need to rest up, but we also need to keep an eye on the club. I've been keeping my eye on the TV since I got back from Lilah's, and there hasn't been anything about the Beast yet, so I know he isn't there right now."

Angel looked at Fred and said, "Fred, you and Connor go watch the club, but keep a safe distance in case the Beast shows up. You guys call us right away if the Beast shows up, and some of us, or all of us, will come running. If the Beast doesn't show, we'll all meet you there around 7:30. If the Beast shows up when we're all there, we'll kill him. And if he's doesn't, we'll see if we can get a fix on where he is or what his plans are."

Gunn said, "I'll go with Fred."

Angel shook his head, "With Connor injured you and Wes are my best fighters. I need you rested for tonight."

Gunn looked to Fred and said, "I don't like it. Connor will run off and get himself hurt instead of calling us if the Beast shows up."

Wesley said, "I concur."

Angel shook his head again and said, "Connor feels responsible for this, and in reality, he may be connected somehow. He's going to need to be part of this to let go of that responsibility. This way he can feel that he's done his part to help even if he can't fight very well. He's still injured, and I doubt he'll be completely healed until sometime tomorrow or the next day, so I don't really want him fighting at all. But I doubt I could stop him unless I literally tie him down, and I'm not going to do that. I think if I explain that we have a better chance of beating the Beast if we all fight it together he'll see the reason in that, and he'll keep his distance until we get there."

Gunn slowly nodded and turned to Fred. "If Connor runs off to be the hero, even after we've told him not to, you have to promise me to stay out of the fight."

Fred opened her mouth to say something, but Angel beat her to it when he said, "I don't think it will come to that, but I agree with Gunn. You can bring a crossbow, and try to shoot it if Connor is getting hurt, but I don't want you to try hand to hand with the Beast at all."

Fred rolled her eyes and said, "I'm not helpless you know."

Gunn put his arm around her waist and said, "We know that, we just all worry."

Angel said, "So, we all understand the plan?"

There were nods all around, so Angel went to wake up Connor while Fred went to get a crossbow and some arrows.

Angel noticed that Connor didn't wake up when he first called his name. He thought it was a sure sign that the medication was working, and helping Connor to sleep. Angel called Connor again, and this time Connor woke with a start. Connor looked around and said, "I don't like naps in the middle of the day. They make me groggy."

Angel said, "I think that's the medication. It'll wear off. I came to tell you about a lead, and an assignment."

Connor looked a little surprised, but nodded and waited to see what Angel would say before he got too excited.

Angel explained the papers showing them the eye of fire, and the X on the map giving them a location. He described the plan, and Connor thought it was a pretty good one. Connor was tired of sleeping, and ready to get out and do something useful. He got up and started putting his shoes on. Angel said, "You understand that you are not under any circumstances supposed to try and fight that thing without the rest of us there right?"

Conner started to nod and then said, "What if the Beast gets a hold of Fred?"

Angel glared at Connor and said, "That better not happen, because you are both going to keep a safe distance."

Connor said, "Yeah, but what if?"

Angel sighed and said, "Then fight with it long enough for Fred to get away and that's it, but if that happens, you better believe I'm not going to be happy that you guys got that close before we got there."

Half an hour later Connor and Fred were sitting by the window in a restaurant across the street from the club. Fred had her binoculars so she could keep an eye on the people standing by the edge of the roof next door. Nothing unusual happened until dusk.

About ten minutes before the official sunset, Connor whispered, "The Beast. He's here."

Fred whipped her head around and looked in the direction Connor was looking, but instead of the Beast, what she saw was a person fall onto the street from the sky. The man's skull split on contact and blood splattered around it. Fred could tell the person had either jumped off the Sky Temple building, or had been thrown. She got out her cell phone and dialed the hotel. Lorne answered and Fred said, "It's here, and it's killing."

Lorne said, "We'll be right there."

As Fred hung up she saw a second person land on the street close to the first. Connor jumped up and headed for the door with a look of determination. Fred yelled, "Connor, wait! They'll be here soon."

Connor didn't stop, and Fred got up to follow as she continued, "You can't fight it on your own! You'll just end up getting hurt again, or even killed! Connor!"

Fred had caught up to him, and put a restraining hand on his upper arm. She said, "You have to wait for them."

Connor shook his head and said, "I'm sorry Fred, I can't."

He yanked his arm away from her and started running as a third body came crashing to the ground. All Connor could think about was that it was his fault that these people were dying. He decided it would be easier to climb the side of the building, then to try and get though the crowd of people coming out. Fred watched helplessly as Connor climbed five stories in less than a minute. Fred pulled out her cell phone and called Gunn's cell. Gunn said, "Yeah?"

"Connor's gone to fight the beast. I couldn't stop him."

"Damn! We should have given you the tazer. Wesley's driving us there right now. We'll be there in fifteen minutes or less, and Angel should be there soon too, but he's going through the sewers because of the sun. Keep your distance until we get there."

"Hurry."

Fred hung up and looked up as she saw another person fall to the sidewalk.

Connor hauled himself over the edge of the building when he got to the roof. The sight that greeted him made him sick. There were bodies lying all over. At least thirty people dead, and fifteen more screaming and trying to find a way out. The roof was mostly open to the air, but it had some metal poles around the sides to hold up the glass that was fourteen feet above the rooftop to protect party goers from the rain. It also had one door that stood above the ground with four short walls and a ceiling around it, which led to the stairs. The Beast had blocked the door with a large section of what had been the bar, and he seemed to be smiling while catching one person at a time and killing them. Connor gave a feral yell and lunged himself towards the Beast. The Beast registered surprise, and then amusement. He dropped his current victim and turned towards Connor's attack.

Connor plowed his whole body into the Beast's stomach, shoulder first in an attempt to knock him down. The Beast had to take one step back, and Connor ended up falling to the ground. Connor stood up as quick as he could and started to circle the Beast. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that the person the Beast had dropped was crawling away with an obviously broken leg. Connor jumped back as the Beast swung a fist at Connor's face.

Connor took a few steps back and looked at the people who were still there. They were all standing and staring at him. He yelled, "Work together and get out!"

The Beast turned away from Connor and back to the people with a large smile. He chuckled and started towards the people. A few screamed, and others ran, but only two of them went to the large chunk of bar that was against the exit, and started to try and push it away.

Connor ran to help the man and woman who were pushing at the chunk of bar with little success. With his help, they were able to move it a few feet, which was enough to get the door open. Connor turned back towards the Beast when he heard a scream of pain. The Beast had stepped on the broken leg of the man he was killing before Connor arrived, and he also had woman by the throat in his hand.

Connor ran towards the Beast as he yelled to the people, "Run to the door!"

This time Connor jumped up and kicked the Beast's back in between the shoulder blades to try and knock him down. The Beast snapped the woman's neck, and had to take a step forward to keep his balance from Connor's blow. Connor again was the one who ended up on the floor. The Beast dropped the woman, and kept one foot on the man's broken leg while he used his other foot to kick the man's chest effectively killing him too. Connor was up again. He looked around and picked up a table and hurled it at the Beast. The Beast watched in frustration as the thirteen people left were escaping through the open door. He started walking towards it, but again was distracted by the table Connor had thrown. It bounced off him, but didn't appear to do him any damage.

The Beast gave up on the people who were now all through the open door. He turned his full attention to Connor. Now that the people were gone, Connor started to back away from the Beast. The Beast jumped up, and landed behind Connor before Connor realized what was happening. The Beast grabbed Connor by one arm and one leg. He held Connor above his head, and then tossed him into one of the metal poles. Connor's back connected with a loud clang before he slumped to the ground. The Beast walked over to Connor and lifted him again by his leg. Connor was struggling to get a few punches into the Beast's torso while he was being held upside down. The Beast then hurled him up towards the glass. Connor crashed into and then through the glass. He fell back through the hole his body had made in the glass, and he landed back on the rooftop with a large thud amid shattered glass.

Connor tried to stand back up, but the Beast was quicker than he was. Connor was picked up again and tossed, but this time he was tossed over the side of the building. Connor could feel himself falling and started to panic. Then his head hit metal and he was knocked out.

Fred had kept looking up anxiously waiting for the guys to arrive the whole time Connor had been fighting. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Connor's form falling from the roof. Then she saw his head hit the fire escape on the third floor, which altered the direction he was falling, and he ended up landing on the floor of the fire escape attached to the second floor. Fred ran over to look up at him. She could tell he had a few cuts, and that his eyes were closed. She couldn't tell if he was breathing. She yelled up to him, but got no response. She couldn't reach the fire escape ladder from where she was, so she just stood there and waited even more anxiously for the others to arrive. It had only been five minutes since she had called them.

It was an excruciating five more minutes before Angel jumped up from the manhole in the street. It had just gotten dark. Angel ran to Fred, and then jumped up to the fire escape on the second floor. He leaned down to Connor and could tell he was still alive. He gently put a hand on Connor's back and said, "Connor? Can you hear me?"

Connor didn't respond. Angel picked him up and put him over his shoulder, the way he had carried his son many times before, and kicked the stairs so they would go down to the first floor. He carried Connor down, and lay him in a little patch of grass that was beside the building. Fred rushed over and knelt down next to Connor. Angel said, "He's knocked out, but alive. What happened? Is the Beast still here?"

Fred said, "We were in the restaurant waiting for the Beast to show up, when a person fell from the roof. Connor said it was the Beast and started to go after it. I tried to stop him, but when the next body fell, he went to fight the Beast anyway. I couldn't see anything from down here, but after about five minutes Connor was tossed from the roof, and hit his head on the fire escape before landing. I think he saved some people though, because about a minute after he landed, a group of people came running out the front door, and the stream of people coming out of that building had stopped a couple of minutes before that."

Angel hadn't taken his eyes off Connor for the whole explanation. Angel brushed the hair off Connor's forehead and saw there was a nasty cut there, along with three more on his face. Angel shook his head and said, "Too much like me."

Angel stood and finally looked at Fred when he said, "Stay with him please."

Fred looked over and saw that the rest of the team had pulled up to the building with a screech, and were getting out at a run.

Angel yelled, "You three with me! Let's go kill it."

The four men ran up the stairs and got up to the roof in no time. They all got their first look at the Beast and his destruction. The Beast had arranged the bodies in a large square around him, and he was standing in the middle chanting some language Wesley didn't recognize. The beast turned to look at them, and smiled. Lorne shivered and said, "I think I'm gonna need a bigger crossbow."

Angel attacked first with his sword, which bounced off the Beast with no apparent effect. Angel tried some punches, but the Beast punched Angel in the chest and Angel went flying back into one of the metal poles. Lorne shot three arrows at the Beast. Two of the arrows bounced off harmlessly, but the third landed in the Beast's upper chest. Gunn ran up with an ax, but the Beast grabbed the ax before Gunn could bring it down. The Beast took the ax blade in his hand and crushed it, and then pushed Gunn in the chest which sent him flying backwards to land on the floor of the roof. Wesley got out two automatic handguns and shot the Beast in the chest and head repeatedly. The Beast grunted a little as the bullets bounced off him. Once Wesley's guns were empty, he dropped them and grabbed the riffle that had been attached to his side. He cocked it, and shot the Beast point blank in the chest twice. The Beast took a step back with each shot, and then grabbed the riffle and crushed the barrel while yanking it out of Wesley's hands. Wesley also was punched and flew backwards onto the floor. Lorne ran up behind the Beast and hit him on the head with the crossbow. The Beast turned and whacked Lorne out of the way with his arm. The Beast chuckled and then Angel was back in front of him. Angel said, "I'd save the laughs. We're nowhere near done yet."

Angel started punching the Beast in the chest and head. The Beast took a couple of steps back, stumbled, and went down on one knee. Then the Beast smiled up at Angel as he pulled the remaining arrow out of his chest and plunged it into Angel's neck. Blood spurted out, and Angel made some gurgling noises as the Beast held him up by the neck with one hand. The Beast said, "Do you really think he's safe with you?"

Then the Beast hurled Angel over the side of the building. Gunn yelled, "NO!"

Gunn, Wesley, and Lorne all started to go for the Beast again, but the Beast stood in the middle of his square of bodies and punched the floor of the roof. The whole building shook and Wesley, Gunn and Lorne were all thrown back by a shock wave. All the bodies in the square caught fire, and the fire coalesced in the center of the square where the Beast stood. Then a large stream of fire pushed the Beast straight up into the sky. The three men watched in horror as the fire continued to shoot into the sky. And a few seconds later they saw small balls of fire falling from the sky. The Beast was gone, so they all limped back down to the street.

When Angel had landed on the ground, he had felt a few ribs break. He had yanked the arrow out of his neck, and then crawled over to Connor and Fred. Angel was lying there next to Connor, and Fred was sitting staring at the sky when the rest of the team came out of the building. Fred looked to Gunn who said, "The Beast flew off."

Wesley said, "Let's get back to the hotel and patch up our wounds, and decide what our next step should be."

Lorne looked up to the sky to see the fireballs still falling and said, "Our next step is panic, plain and simple."

Wesley and Lorne helped Angel to stand and got him into the car's front seat. Gunn picked up Connor and carried him to the car. Wesley and Angel rode in the front, and Connor rode in back with his upper half leaning on Gunn, and his legs resting on Fred and his feet on Lorne. The way back to the hotel took almost an hour because of all the accidents and panicked people running from the fireballs, which were causing considerable damage everywhere they fell. Half way home Connor came to. He shook his head and mumbled, "What happened."

Gunn said in his ear, "You got knocked out."

Connor turned his head around, and saw that he was basically sitting in Gunn's lap. He shook his head again and looked around the car at everyone.

Connor started to try and get off Gunn to sit on the floor. Gunn said, "Settle down. It's gonna be a long ride, and you're fine right where you are. Rest your stubborn head on my shoulder and relax. We're all beat up, and we're going back to the hotel."

Connor hurt all over and gave up the struggle. He said, "Did we win?"

Fred said, "No sweetie. We lost."

Angel's throat hadn't healed enough to talk yet, but he shook his head no. Wesley saw it and said, "It was just a setback, not a loss."

Lorne snorted a laugh and looked out the window. Gunn quietly described the whole thing to Connor while they drove back. When he heard about the fire in the sky, Connor twisted himself to look out the window, and couldn't believe it was still happening. He said, "Julie."

Gunn said, "You can call her when we get back. I'm sure she's fine."

As they walked into the hotel, they all saw a scared looking Julie sitting on the round couch in the lobby. She stood when she saw them and said, "Connor…you're hurt."

Connor smiled with relief and said, "You're not."

She shook her head and said, "I was scared…."

Julie looked out the window and shuddered. Connor said, "I'm glad you're here."

Angel covered the gaping wound on his neck with his coat, and nudged Wesley. Wesley said, "We've all just been in a loosing fight with a demon, and we need to tend to our wounds. It would be most helpful if you could go into the kitchen and make us some coffee."

Julie looked away from the window and said, "Okay."

She headed to the kitchen and Wesley said, "I'll take Angel and see if we can cover the hole on his neck."

Wesley and Angel headed to the main bathroom on the lobby floor.

Connor said, "I'll go help Julie."

Gunn stopped him and said, "Bathroom first. We need to get you patched up, and then you can see your girl. Trust me when I say you don't look so good."

Gunn and Connor headed up to the bathroom in Connor's room. Fred turned to Lorne and said, "Come on, I'll put a bandage on that gash."

Fifteen minutes later everyone was bandaged up except Fred, who didn't have any injuries. They all met back in the kitchen and said thanks to Julie as they all got some coffee and sipped it. Angel started to look Connor over when he came in the room, and Gunn said, "He has some scrapes from the glass that should heal up soon, and his 'bruised' ribs have new bruises, but the only serious wound is on his head, so no worries there."

Connor rolled his eyes and said, "Real funny."

He sat next to Julie and held her hand.

Angel felt the lump on Connor's head, and when he was satisfied that Connor wasn't nearly as injured as he himself was, he went to sit down too.

After ten minutes of silence Wesley said, "Angel and Connor sustained the worst injuries, so I suggest they both lie down and get some rest after eating something."

Angel nodded and Connor turned to Julie and was about to protest when Julie said, "If you got hurt again you should lie down. I'll be fine. I'll go back…..to my place."

Connor said, "No. I want you to stay. It's safer that way."

Connor gave Angel a pleading look, and Angel nodded again. Wesley saw the nod and said to Julie, "Yes, it probably isn't safe to try and go anywhere tonight, and the hotel has many unused rooms. You can take the room next to Connor's for the night, and go home tomorrow."

Julie looked relieved and said, "Thank you. That's very kind of all of you. I really wasn't looking forward to going home to an empty apartment."

Wesley looked again at Connor and said, "Which means you can go rest."

Connor frowned but nodded his acceptance. Wesley said, "I'm going to try again to find references to the Beast now that I've seen him."

Fred nodded and said, "I'll help."

Gunn sighed and said, "Me too."

Julie said, "I'll help too if I can."

Lorne looked directly at Angel and said, "I'll rustle up some food for everyone while you all work, and then I'll help."

Angel nodded at Lorne and stood to go lie down. Connor kissed Julie and went to lie down in his room too.

Once everyone was out of the kitchen, Lorne got some blood warm and took it to Angel so he could feed, sleep, and start healing. Then he made regular food for everyone else, and took a tray up to Connor.

Connor ate, and tried to rest, but he couldn't sleep. Eventually he stood and stared out the window feeling guilty as the fire fell from the sky.

Around midnight everyone who had been looking for information about the Beast was tired, and discouraged that they hadn't found anything. Wesley decided to stay in the hotel instead of trying to get home, and they all went up to bed. Julie went to the bedroom that they had given her, but about half an hour after everyone had gone to bed, she got up and went to Connor's door. She didn't knock, she just opened the door a crack and looked in. Connor turned from the window and smiled at her. She went to him and said, "I thought you might be asleep."

"I tried, but I couldn't."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her body to his. She said, "Come away from the window Connor. Come to bed with me."

Connor took one last look at the sky and let her lead him to the bed. He lay down, and she lay on top of him and started to kiss him. After a few minutes of that she took off her shirt. Connor said, "You're beautiful."

She smiled and tugged at his shirt. Connor winced as he put his arms up to get the shirt off, because the ribs that had started to heal were broken again. When the shirt was off Julie traced her hand around the large bruised area. She said, "That looks like you might have broken a rib. You should go see a doctor."

Connor shook his head no and said, "There are some things I haven't told you about me and my family. Some things I'm not ready to tell you yet. But I will say that the bones are broken, but they will be healed in a couple of days."

Julie pulled her hand away from him and said, "Are you like a demon or something?"

Connor looked away from her and said, "Maybe. I don't know what I am."

Julie put her hand on his face and turned him to look at her. She said, "Even if you aren't human, I know you're good."

Connor pulled her down to him and kissed her. After a few more minutes Julie sat up again and said, "Are you feeling up to anything besides kissing…I mean with broken ribs, and all those cuts, do you just want to sleep?"

Connor said, "No, I want more. Do you?"

"Yes."

Julie stood up by the side of the bed and took her jeans off while Connor worked on getting his off. She was done first and said, "Let me help."

When the pants were off, Julie lay on top of Connor again and they kissed some more. Connor suddenly stopped and said, "Wait. What about….protection?"

Julie smiled and teased, "You worried I'm gonna give you something?"

Connor didn't think it was funny, and frowned when he said, "No, I'm worried about pregnancy."

Julie looked surprised and said, "Oh, I'm taking birth control pills. Do you know what those are?"

Connor smiled and said, "Yes."

"Good, now shut up and kiss me."

The next morning Angel woke up ravenous. He went to the kitchen and drank twice the amount of blood he usually had. He cleared his throat and tried to talk, and was pleased when a, "Hello?" came out of his throat.

He was feeling much better than he had last night. He could tell his ribs were on the mend. He went to the lobby to see if anyone was up yet, but found he was the only one awake. He tried to start looking through books, but he eventually couldn't stop himself from going to check on Connor. He had been very worried about him last night, and he had dreamed about Connor being hurt, so he wanted to see for himself that his boy was all right. He walked to Connor's room and opened the door. He was shocked to see Julie and Connor asleep in each other's arms. He stood staring for a few seconds with his mouth open. Then he shook his head and closed the door quietly.

He thought, 'I shouldn't be surprised. He's eighteen, and in love. Lord knows I was younger when I lost my virginity. Even Buffy was younger when she slept with me. Damn I'm old. Is it just because he's my son that it bothers me so much? Is it because I haven't had any since Darla? Is it because I lost Buffy and Cordy? Man, it shouldn't bug me, but it does. I'll have to snap out of it, because I'm sure he's not going to want to stop, and it's really not fair of me to ask him to. God, I hope he used one of the condoms we got him. I guess I should ask him about it. I so don't want to have that kind of talk again!'

Angel paced around the lobby waiting for people to wake up.

Connor woke up hungry. He turned to see Julie beside him and decided his stomach could wait. He smiled and kissed her forehead. She stirred and opened her eyes. She mumbled, "Morning."

"Morning."

Julie sat up and said, "Oh, I should go back to my room before anyone wakes up."

Connor smiled and said, "It's okay. No one will be upset."

Julie said, "Not even your dad? Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Julie lay back down and said, "Okay then, lets just rest for a few minutes before getting up and facing the day."

Connor sat up suddenly and said, "The day."

He went to his window and looked out. He sighed with relief when he saw there was no more fireballs falling from the sky. He could see damage where some had hit, but all in all, things looked better than he had expected. He smiled as he turned around and said, "No more fire in the sky."

Julie got up and came to the window also. Julie smiled and said, "I'm so glad it's over."

Connor looked out again thinking that it wasn't over. Julie said, "Come take a shower with me."

Connor turned to watch Julie walking to the bathroom naked. He followed her.

Gunn and Fred came downstairs and saw Angel pacing. They all said their good mornings and then Fred went to make some coffee. Gunn said, "How ya feeling this morning?"

"Better."

"Good."

Angel stopped pacing and looked at Gunn. He said, "Can I ask for your opinion on something?"

"Yeah."

"Yesterday Connor went off to fight the Beast even after I told him not to, but at the same time the Beast was killing people, and Connor saved some lives by fighting it. Add that to the fact that I would have done the exact same thing, consequences be damned, and I'm at a loss as to what to do. If I spank him for doing what I told him not to do, when both he and I know that it was probably the right thing to do, and that I would have done the same thing, doesn't that make me a hypocrite? And if I don't spank him doesn't that make him more likely to go off on his own and do even more dangerous things when I tell him not to?"

Gunn sighed and thought about it for a few seconds. He said, "I'm sorry Angel. I wish I had an answer for you, or even a suggestion, but I don't. I can see the sense in both ways. I do think that you need to decide which approach you're going to take, and be confident about it before you start talking to Connor."

Fred came in with a cup of coffee for Gunn and said, "Talk to Connor about what?"

Angel knew Fred didn't like him spanking Connor ever, so he already knew what she would say about his dilemma. He said, "Nothing. Let's check the news to see what's been going on."

Fifteen minutes later Connor and Julie came down holding hands. Angel said, "Did you both sleep well?"

Connor smiled and said, "Yes."

Angel said, "Good. There's coffee in the kitchen if you want some."

Once they were both sipping coffee Angel walked over to Connor and said, "Let's see."

Connor rolled his eyes, but lifted his shirt. Angel looked at and felt the bruise where the ribs were broken. Connor groaned when Angel hit a particularly sensitive spot. Then he looked at Connor's cuts and felt the lump on his head. When he was done Angel said, "You need to eat and rest again today."

Connor sighed and said, "How about if I rest down here and help find information on the Beast?"

Angel shook his head no and said, "You can stay down here for part of the time, but you can do some tutoring, and you need to take a nap in the middle of the day."

Connor said, "Tutoring? You've got to be kidding. We have to find a way to kill that Beast! That should be a priority. Tutoring can come after."

"I'm not kidding. We just watched the news, and there have been no new disasters since last night. We don't know where the Beast is, or how to kill it. We've all been looking for information on it for days now, and haven't found anything. What if we don't see or hear about him for a week? I'm not going to let you stop your schoolwork unless we are in crises like we were yesterday."

Connor slammed his coffee cup down and yelled, "Half the city is destroyed, and the Beast is still on the loose probably killing people! I'd call that a crises!"

Angel glared at Connor and said, "I think you need to tone it down a little."

Angel nodded it Julie's direction. Connor turned to look at her, and she was staring at Connor with surprise. Connor didn't like Julie looking at him like that. He looked down at the floor and mumbled, "Sorry."

Julie put a hand over Connor's hand and said, "I'm gonna go home."

Connor looked at her and said, "No, stay please. I want to know you're safe."

Julie shook her head and said, "I need to go see if my apartment is still standing, and I have an appointment at the registrar's office…if they're open."

"But I…."

Julie interrupted Connor with a finger to his lips and said, "You rest, and I'll come by later this afternoon when I'm done."

Julie stood up and turned to Angel when she said, "Thanks so much for letting me stay the night. It was really nice of all of you."

Angel smiled and said, "No problem. Feel free to come over any time you like."

Julie kissed Connor and surprised everyone by walking over to Angel and giving him a quick hug before walking out the door.

As soon as the front door was closed Angel looked at Connor and said, "My office."

Angel turned and walked into his office, and Connor reluctantly followed. Connor shut the door behind him as he got into the office. Angel pulled the chair from his desk around to the front and sat in it. He pointed to one of the other chairs and said, "Sit."

Connor sat and crossed his arms waiting. Angel said, "Three things we need to talk about."

Connor's eyebrows raised wondering what they could be. He was expecting Angel to talk to him and probably spank him for running off to fight the Beast, but he didn't have any guess as to what the other two things were. Angel continued, "First is I went to check on you before you were awake today."

Connor waited expectantly and when Angel didn't say anything Connor said, "And…?"

"And you had sex with Julie again."

"Yeah…..Oh, are you worried about protection?"

Angel nodded and Connor said, "She's on birth control pills."

Angel said, "But you used a condom anyway right?"

"No…..why should I? We've had sex before, so if we were going to give each other any diseases, we would have already."

Angel put his head in his hands in frustration, and wanted the conversation to be over. He said, "Okay Connor, you don't want to hear this I'm sure, but I'm gonna tell you anyway, and I want you to be quiet until I'm done."

Connor nodded and Angel said, "Julie seems like a very nice girl, and I'm happy that you've found someone, but you've only known her for a little over a month, and most of that time she's been away. Now I know you're very attached to her, and that's fine, but….some girls lie."

Connor shook his head and said, "She wouldn't…."

Angel held up his hand and said, "Quiet. Now, I don't think Julie is that kind of girl, but we don't know her well enough to trust her. I'm 98% sure that Julie is taking the pill, but what if she isn't? And you're going to like this even less, but what if she was with someone else while she was at home?"

Connor stood up and yelled, "She wasn't!"

"And you know this because you were with her the whole time?"

"I know because I know her!"

"I hope you are right, I really do, but I've had more experience with women then you, and I'm telling you, even a girl that seems really sweet and innocent can be plotting behind your back."

Connor paced around and stopped to glare at Angel as he said, "She's not." 

Angel said, "Just use the condoms Connor. I don't care if you don't want to. Do it because I told you to. Promise me you'll use them, or I'll have the team work in shifts to watch you all night every night to make sure you don't get the chance to sleep with her again."

Connor shook his head and said, "Why are you so paranoid about this?"

"Promise me."

Connor rolled his eyes and said, "Fine. I promise I'll use the condoms. Happy?"

"Ecstatic. Now we go to issue number two. If you get out of control when Julie's around, I'll warn you to stop like I did today, but if you keep going I'll still swat you. I'll try to take you in another room, but it depends on the situation. If you're not listening, and doing something dangerous I'll swat you in front of her."

"I hate you."

"I don't think it will come to that, but I thought you should have fare warning. If I need to spank you I'll do my best to wait until she's gone."

Connor silently glared at Angel. Angel said, "And the last issue. Sit back down, and tell me about running off and fighting the Beast after I told you not to."

This was the thing Connor had been expecting. He sat back down and said, "Those people were dying, and it was my fault. I had to try and help them."

Angel nodded in understanding and said, "Think about this next question for a minute and try to answer me honestly. Would you have run off to fight the Beast if he wasn't killing people, or would you have waited for us?"

Connor looked at his shoes thinking for a few seconds. He said, "I'm pretty sure I would have waited. I knew we had a better chance of beating it with the whole team than with just me. But when that guy smashed on the street I just…..I had to see if I could help."

"And you did help. You saved some people."

Connor nodded at the floor and said, "But not very many. He killed a lot more than I saved."

"You did your best, and that's all you can do. We can't save everyone son."

To Angel's surprise he smelled tears. He bent down so he could see Connor's face instead of the top of his head. Angel said, "What's wrong?"

Between sniffs Connor said, "All those people….the people on the roof, the people that were hurt or killed because of the fireballs, the people he could be killing now…..they're all dead because of me….I….I have to stop it."

Angel reached over and pulled Connor into his lap. Connor struggled, but Angel held him there anyway. He said, "I don't know how you are connected to the Beast Connor, but I do know for a fact that it is not your fault that those people are dead. I know you would have saved every last one of them if you could have."

"What if my birth…..the birth that wasn't supposed to be….caused this somehow? Then I'm responsible for all this death."

"That's ridiculous Connor. Did you ask to be born? Did you make a conscious decision to be born? If the Beast is only here because you were born, then me and Darla are the ones to blame, not you."

Connor shook his head no and said, "You're wrong."

Angel had heard enough. He flipped Connor over on his lap as gently as possible trying to make sure not to jostle Connor's ribs and swatted him hard on the butt. Connor said, "Oowww!"

Angel gave him ten more swats, and Connor yelled, "I'm sorry I didn't wait for you before I went to fight the Beast!"

Angel stopped and said, "That's not why I'm spanking you Connor. I would have done the same thing as you. I think you made the right choice. I'm spanking you because you are stubbornly clinging to the idea that the Beast and what he does are your fault."

Angel started spanking again and Connor yelled, "It is my fault!"

"It's not, _Smack_ and we can just stay here, _Smack_ until I hear you tell me _Smack_ that it's not your fault. _Smack, Smack_."

"But it iiiiiiss!"

Angel shook his head and concentrated on spanking. After the first thirty swats Connor said, "Stop! Please Dad Stop!"

"Say it Connor."

"Nooooo!"

Angel shook his head at Connor's stubbornness, and again thought Connor was too much like him for his own good. Angel kept spanking and soon Connor started to cry hard. Angel gave him ten more swats and stopped. He kept his hand on Connor's butt and said quietly, "Tell me it's not your fault Connor, and we'll be done."

Connor said nothing, and after a full minute of silence Angel started spanking again. When the spanking started again, Connor let out a yell, and then continued to cry. After fifteen swats Angel stopped again, and rubbed Connor's back when he said, "Connor, it's not your fault. You are the only one here who thinks so. Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Lorne, and I all think you are a good person, and there is no way that you could have caused that thing to be. Trust me Connor, you know that I haven't ever lied to you. It's not your fault, and you need to say it, even if you don't believe it yet."

Connor cried even harder at Angel's words, and Angel waited until Connor was calm enough to talk. When he heard that the crying was a little softer he said, "Tell me Connor."

Connor sniffed and said, "It's…..it's not my fault."

Angel patted his back and said, "Good boy. Tell me again."

"It's not my fault."

Angel turned Connor back over to sit in his lap and hugged him. Angel said, "It's true, even if you don't believe it yet."

Connor hugged Angel back fairly hard. Hard enough to make Angel wince as his ribs, which were still broken too, got squished.

After about fifteen minutes Connor was calmer and pushed himself off Angel. Angel got up and dug into one of his desk drawers. He pulled out a couple sheets of paper and a pen. He wrote at the top of one sheet, 'The Beast's actions are not my fault.'

He handed the two pages to Connor and said, "Copy that sentence for me until both sheets of paper are full front and back."

Connor looked unsure and said, "Why?"

"Because I hope it will get stuck in your head, and help you believe it."

"Seems kind of pointless to me."

"Do it anyway."

Connor sighed, "Okay."

Angel said, "I want you to go to your room and rest while you write that, and I'll bring you some breakfast, and some of that medication for your ribs. Then when you're done writing you can go find Gunn and do some history."

"You'll tell me if there are any leads right?"

"I promise."

Connor nodded and headed out the door. Angel put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him. Angel said, "I love you."

Connor nodded and said, "I know Dad."


	17. Chapter 17

Authors Note: This chapter had spoilers for the episode 'Habeas Corpses'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 17

After Angel and Connor were done with their 'talk' in Angel's office, Connor went upstairs and wrote the lines for Angel. When he was done, he still didn't believe the words he had written, but the sentence was stuck in his head. Angel brought up some food for him, and had him take the pain medication for his ribs with only a little resistance. Then Connor went and found Gunn in the lobby, and they got busy tutoring. Wesley decided to go home for a few hours to make sure his apartment was still standing. And while he was there he decided to check on some of his books for references to the Beast, and to take a shower and change clothes. Fred, Lorne, and Angel all tried finding something on the Beast at the hotel.

Wesley felt refreshed after his shower, and he was sitting on his couch looking through some of his reference books when someone knocked on the door. Wesley got up and answered. Lilah was on the other side. She smiled with relief and said, "Just checking."

She took a step and hugged him while she murmured, "I left like a hundred messages last night. Feel free not to return any of them."

She pulled back and Wesley said apologetically "I've just arrived home. I haven't checked them yet. So you're alright then?"

She looked at him carefully and saw the new scratches on his face. She said, "Better then you it seems. I spent the night at Wolfram and Heart. And FYI, it's the safest place to be during an apocalypse."

He took a step back into the apartment with the door open in invitation, and she walked into the room as he said, "I was in a loosing battle with a large demon last night. I was just trying to find something on it."

He shut the door behind her, and she put her hands on his shoulders and put her face close to his as she said, "Want me to make you feel better?"

She tried to kiss him, but he pulled away, and walked a few steps back. He said, "It's over Lilah."

Lilah looked confused for a second, and then said, "Right. We know how this one ends. You…me….together in bed."

Wesley shook his head no. Lilah took a longer look at him and asked, "You're serious?"

Wesley nodded, "After what I saw last night….A day of reckoning is coming."

Lilah got angry and said, "And you just reckon you'll throw in with the good guys now?"

Wesley just kept silent, and Lilah said, "And the girl of your dreams just happens to be on the side you've chosen. What a surprise."

Wesley shook his head. "It's not about Fred. It's about black and white, good and evil….there is a line Lilah."

She smiled nastily and said, "And you're so sure you know where that line is?"

He knew she was just trying to hurt him and decided not to respond. She turned and walked towards the door when she said, "Funny thing about black and white. Mix them together and you get gray." 

She turned back to look at him as she said, "And then no matter how much white you put back in, it will always be gray. I don't see Fred wearing that color." 

She opened his door and as she walked out she said, "In fact, she prefers black."

Wesley stood there looking at the closed door. He knew Lilah was right. Fred was still in love with Gunn, even if things weren't quite the same as before the Professor. And if Fred knew about the things Wesley had done during the months he was away from his friends, she would be ashamed of him. Lilah on the other hand was turned on by Wesley's shadier activities. He looked down at the books on his coffee table and tried to convince himself that he had done the right thing.

He gathered up his books and headed back to the hotel.

At the hotel Connor did three hours of tutoring, and then Angel made him go lie down for a nap. Two hours later Connor woke up groggy and tried to shake the fog out of his head. He hated the pain medication, but he could tell that his ribs were getting better, and he was sure he was sleeping better without the constant pain. He stumbled out of bed, and went to see what everyone was up to. He went downstairs and found that Wesley and Julie were both back, and the whole team was looking through books to try and find references to the Beast.

Connor smiled at Julie, and she went to give him a kiss when he came down the stairs. He said, "Is your apartment okay?"

"Yep. And the registrar's office was open. I'm signed up for three classes, and I have a part time job at the student cafeteria."

Connor nodded at her and then looked at Angel when he asked, "Any leads or new information?"

Angel shook his head no, and Fred sighed, "I just don't understand it. There should be something about it somewhere, but….there just isn't."

Connor thought about it and said, "I could try to track it."

Angel said, "And what do you plan to do when you find it, get beat up again? We have to find a way to kill it before we go hunting it."

Gunn said, "It hasn't been on the news, so at least we know it's lying low for now."

Connor said to Angel, "Maybe you should go see Lilah again and see if she has any new information."

Angel shook his head. "Not until I'm healed. It's hard enough to sneak in there when I'm well."

Connor sighed with defeat and said, "Okay. Then I guess I'm ready to do some more studying."

Lorne got up and said, "Okay kiddo. Let's go listen to some Beethoven."

On his way to the basement, where they usually studied, Connor mumbled unhappily, "Great. How many classical musicians were there anyway?"

Lorne said with cheer, "Plenty more to torture you with dumpling."

For the next three days things got back into a routine at Angel Investigations. The team still tried to find information on the Beast, but they mostly concentrated on other cases. Connor got back into a routine of studying, and he was just as happy as Angel was when his ribs were completely healed the day after Angel's.

The only new piece of the routine was Julie. She spent most of her free time at the hotel with Connor, and when he wasn't thinking about the Beast, Connor was happier then he could ever remember being. He always insisted on driving her home at night to make sure she got home safely. And all three nights they had made love before he went back to the hotel.

In the evening of the fourth day after Connor got back from taking Julie home, he went to talk to Angel. Angel was in his office and looked up from his papers. He smiled and said, "Hey."

Connor went in and sat down. He said, "We're both healed now."

"Yes."

"So, will you go see Lilah now?"

Angel leaned back in his chair and said, "I don't know son."

"What's not to know. You either are or you're not."

Angel nodded and said, "You're right. I'm not."

"What? Why?"

Angel could tell this was not the answer Connor wanted. He said calmly, "Because the Beast hasn't done anything or shown up anywhere since the night fire fell from the sky. For all we know that was his big plan. Maybe he was burned up in the fire. I'm not going to risk going into Wolfram and Heart to say hi to Lilah just to have her give me nothing. The ONLY reason she was willing to give me that information last time was because she was getting pressure from her bosses, and now that things have gotten back to normal, she won't be so giving."

Connor glared at Angel and said, "The Beast is out there. He's planning something, and it's gonna be something big, something worse then the fire in the sky. We have to do something about it."

Angel's voice got a little louder when he said, "We are doing something about it. In fact, all of us here are still racking our brains trying to come up with something on it. We're all doing everything that we can. I'm telling you, that going to Wolfram and Heart won't help."

Connor looked down at the floor thinking. Then he looked back up and said, "Maybe I could go through the city and try to find the Beast's scent. I wouldn't confront it or anything, I could just see if it's still here in the city."

Angel slowly nodded and said, "Okay. Tomorrow after your tutoring, you and Wes can go track it."

Connor rolled his eyes and said, "He'll just slow me down. Can't I at least take Gunn?"

Angel gave Connor an apologetic look and said, "I don't know if you've noticed or not, but Wes has been kind of moody lately…. I mean more then usual. I think it would help him to get out."

Connor gave a long-suffering sigh and said, "All right."

"And make sure you don't loose him either."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

The following day late in the afternoon Wesley and Connor started walking the city. Connor had been thinking about Wolfram and Heart for most of the day. He originally thought Angel should go see if Lilah had any new information, but the longer he thought about it, the more he thought that he should be the one to go see Lilah. He remembered Linwood talking to him before he had sunk Angel in the ocean. Linwood had told Connor that Wolfram and Heart could help him. Connor wondered if he went to see Lilah, if they would be able to tell him how and if he was connected to the Beast. Connor also thought that because Wesley was sleeping with Lilah, that he would be the one to talk into it. As they were walking Connor said, "How's Lilah?"

Wesley looked at Connor questioningly. He said, "Why do you ask?"

"Just trying to make small talk. I haven't smelled her on you lately."

Wesley looked off into the distance and said quietly, "I've broken it off with her."

"Why?"

"Many reasons, but mostly because of the Beast and the impending apocalypse."

"Are you still friendly with her?"

"I don't know. She was fairly angry the last time we spoke."

Connor thought about it for a few minutes. Then he said, "What would you think about going with me to Wolfram and Heart so I could talk to her?"

Wesley stopped walking and turned towards Connor. "What? Why do you want to speak with Lilah?"

"I want to ask her about my connection to the Beast. See if she knows anything new."

Wesley shook his head. "I don't think that would be wise Connor. When you were a baby, Wolfram and Heart tired to get you. If you go in there, you might not come back out without a fight. They will want to keep you for testing at the very least. And I don't think you understand how they see you Connor. They think of you as an enemy, a threat. They would be happy to see you eliminated. My relationship with Lilah doesn't change that. She will not be forthcoming with you."

Connor had stopped when Wesley did, to listen to him. Now he turned and kept walking. They didn't say much else to each other for the next forty minutes. Then suddenly Connor stopped in his tracks. Wesley who was getting winded and was a few paces behind Connor caught up and looked at him. Wesley thought Connor looked pale and scared. Wesley said, "Is it the Beast? Did you get his scent?"

Connor slowly nodded and whispered, "Mixed with blood. Human blood."

Wesley looked around to see what street they were on and said, "Is it close?"

Connor closed his eyes and smelled the air. "Maybe two blocks away."

Wesley got out his cell phone and dialed the Hotel. Lorne answered and Wesley said, "It's me. Connor has gotten the Beast's scent. We're on 48th and Billings."

Lorne said, "Hold on, I'll go fetch Angel."

As Wesley was holding on he looked over to see if Connor was still looking scared only to find an empty sidewalk. Wesley did a 180-degree turn looking for Connor, and saw him nowhere. Wesley said, "Damn!"

Angel who had just picked up the phone and said with humor, "Too late to damn me Wes, it's already been done. What's up?"

Wesley sighed and said, "Connor just got the Beast's scent. He said it was mixed with human blood. He looked scared, and…. Well, I took my eyes off him for a second, and when I turned around he was gone. I'm sorry."

Angel said, "Shit! Do you think he went after the Beast? He wouldn't have done that right? I mean he knows he can't beat it."

Wesley said, "I'm unsure. If he thought someone was in danger he might have. He said the Beast was about two blocks away."

Angel sighed and said, "Okay, you stay put, I'm gonna round up the gang, and we'll meet you there. Once we're together, we'll look for Connor."

Connor was running. He had passed right by the building the Beast was in. He knew the human blood that he could smell was a day or two old, and he didn't think anyone was in immediate danger. But he also believed that everyone was in serious danger with the Beast sill on the loose, and he was sure that the Beast was planning something even worse then fire from the sky. The team had been working for days to come up with something on the Beast with no luck. Connor had decided to take matters into his own hands despite what everyone else said.

As he was running towards Wolfram and Heart he thought, 'Linwood said they would help me. Lilah might help me if she thinks it would help get her back together with Wes. And if I'm open to testing, maybe they can find something that connects me to the Beast, and maybe even a way to kill it. And if they don't want to help me, I'll just leave. It can't be that hard.'

For three days after Wesley had broken up with her, Lilah had lost her passion for life in general. She kept telling herself that she didn't care about Wesley. She told herself that about every five minutes, but in the end she realized she was lying to herself. She had fallen in love, and she hated herself for it. Three days after Wesley had broken up with her, she resolved to make herself forget about him. She decided the best way to do that was to throw herself into her work, and to put all of her anger and resentment into her job. She had been ruthless before, so no one saw it as much of a change, and her bosses were pleased with her new enthusiasm for work.

The senior partners had decided Lilah's current job was to find the Beast and try to make some kind of a deal with him. She was supposed to either find a way to kill him, or find a way to get him to work for them. Her personal assistant Gavin was standing watching her talk on the phone.

Lilah said, "How hard can it be to find a seven foot demon made of rock! You people just aren't trying. If you don't find something on it by the end of the day I swear I'll have you boiled alive!"

Gavin grimaced thinking he would be the one to end up carrying that out. He wouldn't mind so much if he didn't have to listen to the screaming, because his ears were sensitive. He decided he would get some earplugs. Lilah slammed the phone down and glared at Gavin. She said, "Did the psychics get anything?"

Gavin gulped and said, "No."

"Fuck! Go get me one of them! Let's see if some pain helps."

Gavin nodded and started to leave Lilah's office. Then he walked backwards into the office again. Lilah glared at him and was about to berate him when she got a surprise. There in front of her was Angel's son. She gave him a huge smile and said, "Connor! What a surprise. You're just more and more like your dad every day aren't you? Sneaking in here and getting past the guards."

Connor gave her a glare and then gave her a hopeful look. He said, "I… I thought maybe you could help me."

Lilah didn't think she could be more surprised. She said, "How?"

"I want to find out what I am…. How I'm connected to the Beast." 

Lilah still grinning big said, "Are you saying what I think you're saying? You're going to let us test you?" 

Connor looked away but nodded. Lilah almost jumped up and down with joy. But she contained herself and remembered protocol. She sat on the edge of her desk, and as she was talking, she casually reached behind her and pushed the little panic button on the back of her desk just in case Connor decided to change his mind. She said, "I can't tell you how great that is Connor. We'll do the full work up on you, neurological, psychological, and physiological. We'll get you some answers."

Two of Wolfram and Heart's security guards arrived, and Lilah's smile turned less nice as she said, "And then we'll slice you open and start poking around."

Connor glared at her. In one move he punched both guards, and they were out cold on the floor. He turned back around and grabbed Lilah by the throat. He shoved her against the wall, and held her so that just her toes touched the ground. He said, "I don't think so."

Lilah back in professional mode smiled at Connor and tried to keep her voice level as she said, "Of course. How silly of me. My assistant Gavin here will get us all the information we have on you, and on the Beast. Then we can all sit down and have a nice non-violent discussion about it. How does that sound?"

Connor had loosened his grip on her throat, and was thinking about trying to trust her again when the lights flickered. He let her go and looked around. The lights went out and Connor couldn't explain how he knew, but he was sure the Beast was close. Connor whispered, "He's here."

Lilah said, "Who?"

"The Beast. It's here."

Lilah shook her head and said, "It's probably just a small power failure. I'll call down to the front desk."

Lilah picked up the phone, but the line was dead. She looked at Gavin and said, "Try one of the talkies." 

Gavin pulled one of the little phones off the security guard that was lying on the floor, and pushed the button as he said, "This is Gavin to the front desk."

The response was garbled, and full of distant screaming, but they could make out the guy saying, "Oh God! It's killing everyone!"

Lilah said to Gavin, "Tell him to stop whining, and to give us a full report!"

Then they heard the man scream, and the phone went dead. Connor said, "I told you. He's here."

Lilah looked at Gavin and said, "Go find out what's going on." 

Gavin shook his head slightly and Lilah said, "Ask yourself this question Gavin. Who are you more afraid of, a seven foot demon, or me."

Gavin nodded and headed out to see what the disturbance was. Connor looked around the room, and found a decorative half sword on the wall. He grabbed it and could tell that it was not just decorative. He strode out of Lilah's office and headed with determination towards the stairs. Lilah grabbed her gun out of her desk drawer and followed him. As they were walking Lilah said, "Do you really think it's the Beast?"

Connor nodded and said, "I can't explain it, but we are connected."

"What does it want?"

"Everyone dead."

"What are you going to do?"

"Kill it."

Lilah stopped as she said, "And you're headed right for it."

Connor continued and Lilah waved at his back and said, "Good luck with that."

Lilah turned and walked the other way, and tried to think where the best place to hide would be.

Wesley waited impatiently for the others to arrive. As he waited he thought about Connor, and what he might be doing. After a few minutes he called Angel's cell phone, and to his surprise Angel actually answered. Wesley said, "This might sound odd, but Connor was talking about Wolfram and Heart earlier. Do you think he might have gone there?"

Angel was walking in the sewers towards Wesley's location. He said, "It's a possibility."

Wesley said, "It's not very far away. I'll go there under the pretense of visiting Lilah, and see if I find him. You and the others can track him from here. Call me if you find him, and I'll do the same."

"Good plan Wes. I'll talk to you soon."

Angel was getting close to the spot Wesley was, and knew Fred and Gunn who were going by car would arrive soon. He looked at his watch and anxiously awaited the setting of the sun in fifteen minutes.

Connor found it hard to track the Beast, because the mingled smell of so many different people's blood was thick in the air. Everywhere he looked there were bodies, and pieces of bodies. Blood was splattered and smeared on every surface of the lobby. Connor walked silently and looked for clues as to which direction the Beast had gone. Connor knew Wolfram and Heart had thirty some floors, and eventually he decided he would just have to search floor by floor. When he was on the stairs, he heard gunfire a few floors above him. He rushed towards it as fast as he could.

Lilah emptied her entire clip into the Beast's chest and head, but it didn't even slow him down. The Beast grabbed her and slammed her down onto the nearest desk. Lilah choked out, "I can help you…. Get you anything you want."

The Beast looked down at her with a smile, and stuck one large finger into her abdomen and wiggled it around. Lilah screamed. Then, before the Beast could do any more damage, Connor arrived in the doorway. The Beast saw him and knocked Lilah to the floor. Connor jumped up on the vacant table so that he could be taller then the Beast. He raised his half sword and brought it down hard intending to cut into the Beast's chest. The sword shattered into pieces, and Connor just stood there looking shocked. The Beast smiled and said with amusement, "Connor."

Connor was frozen in place. The only thing that his mind could register was that if the Beast knew him by name, there was no more denying their connection. The Beast backhanded Connor and sent him flying across the room. Connor landed against a cement pillar in the middle of the room. He hit it so hard that chunks of cement fell to the floor with him, and the impact damaged the ceiling enough that soon Connor was lying under a pile of cement, sheet rock, and other debris.

While the Beast was distracted Lilah stumbled off down the hall to try and find a new place to hide. Soon she could hear his stomping footsteps coming towards her. Then Wesley, her Wesley, was standing there in front of her, looking to her like a knight in shining armor. She smiled at him through her pain and said, "Come by to be the hero?"

He looked down at her white shirt that was stained with blood and said, "You're injured."

"The Beast. He's still after me."

Wesley could hear the footsteps too, and picked Lilah up. He carried her down the hall to get farther away from the Beast. Once he had gotten farther down the hall he went into one of the offices and shut the door behind them. He set Lilah down on the desk and got out his cell phone. Lilah shook her head and said, "Won't work."

Wesley put it to his ear and found she was right. He said, "We need to get you out of here."

Lilah shook her head and said, "Too late."

Wesley looked at her wound and said, "If you get to the hospital now, you should be fine."

"Not that. It's…."

As she was talking there were loud clanking noises all around them, and soon the window in the office turned black as a metal sheet covered it. Lilah finished her sentence with, "….the lock down for catastrophes. No one gets in, and no one gets out."

The Beast smashed through the office door, and Wesley picked up Lilah again. He carried her out the other door, and continued farther down the hall. As he carried her he said, "Think Lilah there must be some way out. Especially for important people like yourself."

Lilah was feeling woozy and put her head down on his shoulder and tried to think. Then she said, "Third floor supply closet."

Wesley smiled at her and said, "Very good."

He turned a corner in the hall, and set Lilah on her feet. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a grenade. He unpinned it and tossed it down the hall towards the Beast. Lilah said, "You can't be serious."

Wesley covered her ears with his hands and shielded her body with his. Once it went off he helped her stand and put her arm around his shoulders as they walked towards the stairs. She asked, "Will it kill him?"

"Doubtful. But I hope it will distract him for a while."

They made their way to the third floor. They could both hear the Beast still following them, but he was a floor away. They made it to the supply closet, and on the floor in front of it was a dead Gavin. Lilah mumbled, "Poor bastard." as she stepped over him.

Once Wesley and Lilah were in the closet she started knocking things off the shelves and looking for a lever. Wesley said, "Are you sure this is the right spot?"

"Yes."

Wesley started helping her look. They could hear the Beast's footsteps getting closer and closer. The Beast shattered the closet door to find it empty.

Wesley and Lilah had found the lever, and were sliding down fast. They landed hard on the muddy ground of the sewer. After a few seconds to catch his breath Wesley pushed himself up and said, "Are you alright?"

Lilah nodded and he helped her stand. She looked to him and said, "What now?"

He put his hands on her arms and said, "The Beast seems to want you dead. You need to go into hiding. Get as far away as possible. Change your name. Don't make it easy for him to find you."

"What will you do?"

He let her go and said, "I'll keep trying to find a way to kill it."

Lilah thought for a second about throwing herself on him and begging him to come with her. But she knew it wouldn't do any good. She tried to pull herself together and nodded at him to show she understood. He turned and started to walk away. She called after him, "Wesley!"

He turned to her. She looked at him with longing and then looked away when she said, "Connor's in there." 

"What?"

She looked back at him and said, "He's in the seventh floor conference room. I don't know if he's alive or not, but I….. I thought you should know."

Wesley took a deep breath absorbing the information and then nodded at her understanding that she had volunteered information that she didn't have to give, and that wasn't in her best interest to give. She gave him a sad half smile, and then turned to limp away the other direction. Wesley turned to run towards an exit so that he could get to a place where his cell phone would work.

Gunn and Fred had arrived at the place Wesley was supposed to be, but couldn't find him. Fred pulled out her cell phone and tried to call Wesley, but got a 'not in service' message. Gunn rolled his eyes and said, "Figures."

Fred dialed Angel next. He answered and Fred said, "We're here, but Wesley isn't."

Angel said, "He went to check out Wolfram and Heart. We think Connor might have gone there."

Fred said, "Oh no. I guess maybe that would be better than going after the Beast, but not much."

Angel said, "You guys hang tight. I'm right below you, and in a few minutes when the sun goes down, we can all track him."

They all waited for the sun. Ten minutes later Angel came up from the sewers, and the three of them started tracking Connor's scent. Two blocks away Angel said, "Connor didn't go in to the Beast, but it smells like the Beast left recently."

Fred said worried, "You don't think the Beast followed Connor do you?"

"Could be."

They all started walking again, and then Angel got another call. He answered with, "Yeah?"

Wesley said, "I've got bad news Angel."

"Tell me."

Connor's trapped in Wolfram and Heart with the Beast. I can't be sure if he is alive or not."

Angel didn't say anything for a full minute feeling sick. Wesley said, "Angel?"

"I'm here. We'll meet you there in a few minutes."

Angel hung up and said, "Back to the truck, we need the supplies. We'll drive to Wolfram and Heart."

A few minutes later the whole gang was standing in front of Wolfram and Heart listening to Wesley tell them what happened. When he was done Gunn said, "Idiot! You went there to find Connor. Why didn't you ask Lilah if he was there before you escaped?"

Wesley looked away and said, "I guess after I saw Lilah was wounded, my mind was only focused on finding a way out. I'm sorry."

Angel trying to focus on the task at hand said, "Okay, so we have to get in through a trap door in the sewer?"

"Yes."

Angel turned to Gunn and said, "Get the ropes and weapons out of your truck."

Soon they were all standing under the trap door in the sewer. Gunn said, "How the hell are we gonna get up there?"

Angel grabbed the rope and jumped eight feet up into the hatch above them, and continued climbing up the slide until he got to the closet entrance. He broke it open, and tied the rope to a secure beam. He dropped it down to the others, and Gunn mumbled, "Show off."

A few minutes later they were all in the hallway. Wesley looked on the empty floor by the closet and said, "I could have sworn…"

Angel and the others were already at the stairs and Wesley quickly caught up. On the way to the seventh floor, Gunn and especially Fred were appalled by the carnage. Fred mumbled, "I know these people were kind of evil, but still…. to end up like this."

She shuddered, and Gunn said, "Doesn't seem right."

They made it to the conference room and everyone started to dig through the pile of rubbish on the floor. After a few minutes it was clear that Connor wasn't there. Gunn said, "He's not here."

Wesley kept digging and said, "Let's be certain."

Angel said, "No, Gunn's right. He's not here."

Wesley said, "Well, maybe he got out."

Gunn glared at him and said, "Or you got your information wrong again."

Wesley glared back, and Angel held up a hand and said, "No, I can smell him. He was here."

Wesley sighed with relief and said, "That's good then. It means there's a good chance he's alive."

Angel said, "We'll split up. You three stick together and cover one stairwell, and I'll cover the other. We'll go floor by floor and meet up at the top. Start at the lobby in case he went down there."

They all nodded and went their separate ways.


	18. Chapter 18

Authors Note: This chapter had spoilers for the episode 'Habeas Corpses'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 18 

Angel had made it back to the third floor. He was finding it almost impossible to track. The smell of blood was so thick he could taste it, and he was having a hard time not grabbing one of the corpses and draining it. He was silently walking down the hall looking around for Connor when he heard a faint noise behind him. He spun around and slammed his supposed attacker against the wall.

Connor had heard someone walking, and was sneaking up on them to find out who it was, when that person grabbed him and slammed him against the wall.

Father and son looked at each other with surprise. Connor said, "Dad?"

Angel grabbed Connor and hugged him tight. He almost started crying with relief as he mumbled, "You're alive."

Connor hugged Angel back and said, "I don't understand. What are you doing here?"

After a few seconds Angel let him go and looked at Connor. Connor could tell Angel was angry. Not angry like he didn't listen to him during a fight, but angry like when he tried to kill Lorne. Angel said, "What are _we_ doing here?"

He turned Connor to the side and kept a hand on him so he didn't go flying forward when he swatted him as hard as he could. Connor yelled, "Oww!"

Angel turned him back around and said, "We're here to get you out before you get killed. That is if we don't get killed in the process. What the hell do you think _you're _doing here?"

Connor looked at Angel willing him to understand. "I had to try. When I smelled the Beast…. I had to do something. That Linwood guy said Wolfram and Heart could help. He said they could test me, and I thought since Lilah was with Wesley, that she would try and help."

Angel opened his mouth to say something but Connor continued quickly with, "I am connected to the Beast Dad. When he saw me…. he knew my name."

Angel nodded slowly. Connor looked around at the bodies and said, "I… I think he followed me here. I think all these people are dead…. because of me"

Angel leaned down a little so that his face was right in front of Connor's and said, "We've been over this Connor. It's not your fault. Even if the Beast did follow you here, you had no way of knowing he was planning on that, and if you did, you wouldn't have come. And for all we know the Beast was planning on doing this anyway."

Connor looked away and nodded slightly. He did feel a little better with Angel's reassurance. Then Angel heard another noise behind him and turned quickly to knock out whoever was coming at him. The guy went down, and Angel looked at him closely. He said, "Gavin?"

Connor looked confused as he smelled the air and said, "He's dead."

Gavin slowly started to get up and Angel said, "Well technically undead."

"Like you?"

Angel said, "No, he's a zombie."

"What's a zombie?"

Gavin had made it up, and Angel easily knocked him out again. Angel said, "Zombies are undead, slow moving, slow witted things that eat human flesh."

Connor smirked and said, "Yeah, like you."

Angel said in an exasperated tone, "No, not like me."

Then he turned and gave Connor a look and said, "We'll see how funny you think it is when we get home."

Connor lost his smile, "If we get home."

Angel started walking, and Connor followed. Angel said, "We'll make it home."

As they were walking more and more bodies started getting up and Connor said, "Why are they zombies?"

"I don't know. It either has something to do with Wolfram and Heart, or with the Beast. Let's hurry, we need to try and get to the others, and get out of here before they all wake up."

"How do we kill them?"

"You have to stop their brain functions. Cut off their heads, or smash their skulls."

Connor nodded and both him and Angel started running looking for Fred, Gunn, and Wesley.

Fred had been getting more and more jumpy as they went through room after room with bodies. Gunn and Wesley couldn't stop glaring at each other long enough to notice how jumpy she was until she screamed as she bumped into a desk. Both men turned to fight whatever had attacked her, and she smiled apologetically as she said, "Sorry. This place is just giving me the heebie jeebies."

Wesley reassured her, "It's understandable."

Gunn glared at him and said, "Let's keep moving."

As they were leaving that room Gunn was attacked. He easily tossed the guy off him and all three of them watched as the guy slowly got back up. Gunn said, "Is that guy dead? He looks dead."

Wesley nodded and said, "I think you're correct. I believe it's a zombie."

Fred said, "A zombie? I didn't think those were real."

"Me neither." Said Gunn.

"Nor did I, but apparently we were all mistaken."

As Wesley was talking, another zombie started attacking from behind him. Wesley saw Gunn raise his ax and ducked. Wesley turned to see the zombie's head roll off into the floor. Wesley looked back at Gunn and said, "Thanks."

Gunn didn't like Wesley most of the time, but he didn't want to see him dead. He said easily, "Anytime."

They kept going and soon they saw more and more zombies. It was getting harder and harder to make their way along, and Wesley said, "We're not going to make it all the way to the top."

Gunn nodded and said, "Let's find a room to hide in for a few and make a plan."

They barely made it to a room. They shut and blocked the door. Gunn and Wesley were arguing about what to do when the door to the office was smashed in to reveal Angel and Connor. Fred went to Connor and hugged him, and Angel asked, "Everyone okay?"

Wesley nodded, and Gunn hugged Connor when Fred was done. Angel said, "The zombies are everywhere. There are hundreds of them."

Wesley said, "We're on the fifth floor. It will be a challenge to make it back to the third floor."

Angel nodded and said, "There might be another way."

The zombies started coming through the door that Angel and Connor had smashed. Gunn started killing them as he said, "Let's hear it."

Angel started killing the zombies too and said, "New room!"

The gang fought and killed their way to the next office over. They shut and blockaded the door. Angel said, "The other option is the white room."

Wesley asked, "Where's that?"

"I'm not sure exactly, it's kind of inter-dimensional, but I know how to get there if Fred can get the elevators working."

Fred nodded to let Angel know she could. Angel continued with, "There's a little girl there. Well not a girl exactly, it's something old and evil that likes to pretend she's a girl. I was there once, and she could probably help us get home."

Gunn said, "I don't know. Fighting the zombies sound easier to me."

Wesley said, "I vote for the white room."

Angel said, "There are a lot of zombies out there. I think the white room is our best chance. You ready Fred?"

She nodded and Angel looked at Wesley, Gunn and Connor when he said, "You three start killing and open up a path to the elevator. I'll stick by Fred and help her."

When they were ready, they opened the door. Gunn, Connor, and Wesley were all old pros at fighting, and zombies were fairly slow, so they didn't have that much trouble getting to the elevators once the group by the door was killed. Once there, Fred rewired the elevators control panel, and got it working. Angel yelled at the other three who were fighting off more and more zombies to get in the elevator. They all got in and Angel punched in the code for the white room. The elevator doors closed just in time.

Soon the whole team appeared in the middle of a large empty room with a white floor and white walls. There in front of them was the Beast kneeling over a little girl who was lying on the floor. The girl looked to be about eight years old, and was wearing a red party dress. There was black swirling smoke rising from the girl's stomach up to the hand that the Beast was holding over her. Fred said, "Oh no. We're too late."

Gunn looked around and said, "Um… Angel, is there a way out of here?"

The room had four walls, with no windows, and no doors. Wesley said, "He's stealing her essence."

Angel said more to himself than anyone else, "This was his plan all along. He came for her."

The Beast absorbed the end of the black smoke and looked up to the group in front of him. They all got into fighting positions, and prepared to fight. The Beast stepped over the girl, and slowly headed towards them. The girl muttered, "The answer is among you."

Then the girl held out her hand, and whispered some words. Just as the Beast was close enough to strike, the whole team suddenly found themselves in the lobby of their hotel.

Lorne who had come home to an empty hotel a few minutes ago, and had gotten himself a drink took a double take at the group that had appeared in front of him, and then took a close look at his martini. Julie, who had arrived a minute or two after Lorne, just stood there with her mouth open. Fred said, "We're home."

Gunn said, "But how?"

Angel smiled a little and said, "She did it. The girl, somehow, she did it."

Connor was confused and said, "Dad?"

Angel turned to confront Connor, but was interrupted when Julie ran to Connor and hugged him. She said, "Wow! How did you guys get here? Where were you? Was it another portal?"

Connor hugged Julie back and then said, "I'm not sure what happened. One minute we were all in an office trapped with the Beast, and then we were all here."

Lorne said, "The Beast?"

Gunn nodded and said, "The Beast just killed everyone at Wolfram and Heart."

Lorne looked greener. "Well that can't be good."

Fred said, "It definitely is planning something, and something big."

Wesley agreed, "Yes, and it's going to take a force far stronger and smarter then just us to defeat it."

Lorne muttered, "Yeah, like there's a lot of that just lying around."

Angel said, "We need to keep trying to find a way to kill it."

Fred started to say something, but Angel held up his hand before she could. He continued, "I know we've been trying, but we need to get more creative, and try again."

Everyone nodded knowing there really wasn't much else they could do. Angel looked at Connor and said, "We need to talk."

Connor grimaced but nodded. Angel looked at Julie and smiled as he said, "I'm sorry Julie, but Connor and I are going to be busy for the rest of the night, and he isn't going to have time to spend with you. But I'm sure he'll want to see you tomorrow afternoon."

Julie looked a little hurt but got the hint. She looked at Connor who was glaring at Angel. Then she said, "Oh…. Okay. I guess I'll go home then."

Connor looked down at her and said, "Sorry I'm busy, but thanks for understanding. I'll see you tomorrow."

She reached up and gave him a kiss before awkwardly walking out as an uncomfortable silence filled the room.

The second Julie was out the door Angel pointed at Connor and said, "Apologize for ditching Wesley."

Connor could tell that Angel's anger from before had come back and was in full force. He decided his best bet was to do exactly as he was told. He nervously turned to Wesley and said, "Sorry Wes."

Wesley looked uncomfortable and said, "Yes. Well. I do believe I told you it wouldn't be helpful to go there."

Connor looked away and said, "Yeah."

Angel said, "Now apologize to Fred, Gunn, and Wesley for going to Wolfram and Heart in the first place since it almost ended with all of them getting killed."

Connor wanted to melt into the floor, and he could feel himself getting red. He turned in their general direction and mumbled to the floor, "Sorry."

Fred said, "It's okay."

Gunn crossed his arms and glared at Connor when he darted his eyes up. Wesley kept quiet. Angel said, "Now get up to your room and wait for me."

Connor fled the room and took the stairs three at a time. Once Angel heard Connor's bedroom door open and close he sighed and said, "I'm really sorry guys. He should never have gone there, but I gotta say I truly appreciate that you all went in with me to help get him out."

Gunn shook his head and said, "Angel man, you couldn't have stopped me or Fred from trying to help. We love him too."

Wesley said, "I have grown fond of him too. I'm just sorry I didn't get him out of there the first time."

Angel nodded and smiled as he said, "Thanks guys. Okay, why don't you all start brainstorming. We need to think of something new to try. We need to get information on the Beast, and find out how to kill it. I'll be back in a few."

Lorne went to get some pens and paper. Fred went to put on some coffee for everyone. Wesley and Gunn put away everyone's weapons. And Angel went down to his room to get his hairbrush. Once he had it, he went back through the lobby and saw everyone was gathering around to work. He was truly grateful for his friends. He walked up the stairs, not looking forward to the upcoming confrontation, but knowing that he had to keep Connor from running off on his own, especially now that they knew he was connected to the Beast.

When Connor got to his room he paced nervously. His thoughts started with Angel and what he was going to do, but soon went to the massacre he had witnessed at Wolfram and Heart. Now that he was home, out of immediate danger, and he knew there was no one he had to save from the Beast, his thoughts started to turn towards all the people he hadn't saved. Then the Beast saying his name also went through his mind again and again. He was almost glad when someone knocked on the door. He said, "Come in."

Angel came in and closed the door behind him. Connor saw the hairbrush, and even though he had been expecting it, he still felt his stomach doing flips at the sight of it. He went and sat on his bed and looked at the floor waiting for the lecture to start. To his surprise Angel said, "Stand up, and pants down."

Connor stood and undid his pants. Angel sat on the bed and pulled Connor over his lap. Once he had the underwear down, he lifted the brush and brought it down with a loud 'Crack'. After the first ten swats Angel said, "Tell me why I'm spanking you Connor."

Connor was gritting his teeth trying not to yell. He hated it when Angel wanted him to try and come up with coherent thoughts when he was in pain and trying to stay in control of his emotions. He said, "For ditching… Ow!… Wes, and for…. Aahh!… going to Wolfram….. Owww!… and Heart."

Angel nodded to his son's back and kept spanking as he said, "I told you not to leave Wesley, and you did. I told you not to go to Wolfram and Heart, and you did. Both Wesley and I gave you reasonable explanations why you shouldn't have gone there, but you did it anyway."

"I'm soorrrryyyy!"

"And even though I know it wasn't your intention, your actions ended up putting the entire team at risk. We barely made it out of there alive."

Connor started to cry quietly at first, but as the spanking continued his cries got louder until eventually he was crying uninhibited.

Once Angel heard this, he stopped the spanking and tossed the brush on the nightstand. He rubbed Connor's back and waited for him to calm down. After a few minutes Angel pulled up Connor's underwear and pants, and helped him stand. Connor buttoned his jeans and wiped at his face with his sleeve.

Angel waited until Connor looked at him, and then he stood and opened his arms in invitation. Connor was hesitant at first, but after a second he walked over into his father's embrace. They stayed like that until Connor was calm.

Angel let go, but stayed close. He looked at Connor who and said, "I was scared today. Scared I would never see you again. Scared I wouldn't see you become a man. Scared we would all die trying to get away from the Beast."

When Angel paused Connor nodded. Angel continued, "I can understand why you wanted to do it Connor, really I can, but you should have trusted me and Wesley to know Wolfram and Heart better then you."

Connor nodded and looked away. He wished Angel had done the lecture first, because it was making him feel like crying again. Angel said, "Connor, look at me."

Connor did, and Angel said, "Those people would have died anyway. The Beast was after the girl. Even if he did follow you there, and even if you are connected, he knew what he was doing there. He had a plan…. a goal before he arrived. He would have killed those people no matter what you did or didn't do. Whether it was today or tomorrow doesn't really matter. It's not your fault those people died."

Connor looked down and said, "It was….. horrible."

Angel pulled him back into a hug and said, "Yes. It was."

Down in the lobby, the rest of the team had just sat down to get to work, when the noises of the punishment going on upstairs became audible. Fred especially looked uncomfortable, and Gunn put his arm around her. Lorne, trying to get everyone's minds off it said, "What haven't we tried?"

Wesley sighed and said, "We've tried all the normal things. We've looked through all our books. I've talked to the watchers that are left, and they have nothing on it."

The front door opened, and all four of them turned to see Julie. She smiled apologetically and said, "I was in such a hurry to leave, I forgot my books."

No one knew what to say as she started walking towards the front desk where her books were. She stopped halfway there and looked up to where the noises were coming from. She looked worried and looked at Fred when she said, "What's happening? Is there a demon here?"

Wesley was the first to come to his senses. He picked up her books and walked them to her. He handed them over and said, "Connor can tell you about it tomorrow, but for now it would be best if you went home."

Julie just stood there for a few seconds, so Wesley put his arm around her shoulders and started walking towards the door and pushed her along with him. Once they got to the door Julie gave Wesley an appalled look and said, "Angel's doing that to him isn't he?"

Wesley understood Connor's position better then most, as his father seemed to find the most inappropriate times to correct him, and had never cared much about who it was in front of. Wesley had been berated and even slapped in front of more then one girl he liked. Wesley said in earnest, "Julie, Connor would not want you here right now. It is up for him to tell you about it if he so chooses, but you make it worse for him by being here."

Julie glared at Wesley, and gave the other three a glare too. She said, "How can you just let it happen?"

Julie stormed out and didn't look back. Wesley turned back around and said, "Well that could have gone better."

Fred shook her head and said, "Poor Connor."

Gunn said, "Poor Connor? More like poor Angel. Connor and Angel have enough to argue about without adding her in the mix. She'll side with Connor whether he's done something to deserve it or not. Don't you think Angel has a hard enough time doing it as it is?"

The noises had stopped. Fred was quiet for a few seconds. "I guess I hadn't really thought of it that way before."

Lorne said, "Okay enough of that. Fred, use that big wonderful brain of yours and think of some way to find out about the Beast and how to kill it."

Fred gave Lorne a little smile and said, "My big brain has been thinking about that Beast non stop for days, and hasn't come up with anything useful yet."

Lorne said, "Come on guys, we have to try. If we give up, who else is going to take up the fight?"

Fred sighed and said, "Okay, you're right."

After a few seconds Fred said, "Hey, what about the girl?"

Gunn said, "What girl? Old evil party dress girl?"

Wesley nodded, understanding where Fred was going. He said, "Of course. Find out about her, and find out what the Beast is planning."

Fred and Wesley looked at each other and started talking about which books would be likely to have references to the girl faster then Lorne or Gunn could keep up with.

A while later Angel came downstairs to find everyone eagerly looking through books. He asked, "Did we get a lead?"

Without looking up Fred said, "We're researching the girl, to find out what the Beast wanted with her."

Angel nodded and smiled. "Good. What can I do to help?"

Gunn set his book down and went over to Angel. He talked quietly so he wouldn't disturb Fred and Wesley who were both so far in research mode they didn't notice much else. Gunn said, "Julie forgot her books and came back. She heard you."

Angel shook his head and said, "Damn."

Gunn said, "If you want, I can tell Connor about it."

Angel shook his head again, "No, it's my responsibility."

"I don't think so. We not only work together, but we live together, and fight evil together. All of us take responsibility for each other. In fact, I think Connor might take it better coming from someone other then you."

Angel looked at Gunn and said, "You sure?"

Gunn nodded and Angel said, "Okay. Thanks."

Connor had decided he would rather stay in his room then go face anyone. He had already finished his tutoring for the day, and Julie was gone for the night, so he did some homework. A few minutes after Angel had left he heard a knock on his door. He said, "Yeah?"

Gunn came in and shut the door behind him. Connor gave Gunn a small smile and said, "Hey."

Connor was lying on his stomach with some books and paper spread out around him on the bed. Gunn went and pulled the desk chair over towards the bed. He turned it around and sat in it backwards resting his arms on the back of the chair. He said, "Hey, I don't know a good way to say it, so I'm just gonna be straight with you. Your girl came back for her books, and heard."

Connor just stared at Gunn for a few seconds. Gunn could see Connor turning red. Gunn said, "We got her to leave as quick as we could, but she figured it out before she left."

Connor put his head down on his bed in shame and said, "Oh God!"

Gunn said, "It's not the end of the world Connor." 

"Easy for you to say."

"She was mad. Mostly mad at Angel I think, but mad at the rest of us for letting it happen too."

"How can I face her now? She won't want to be with me anymore."

Gunn asked, "How do you figure?"

Connor looked up at Gunn like he was stupid and said; "Women look for strong males to protect them. How can I be that for her when she knows Angel spanks me when I screw up?"

Gunn shook his head and smiled, "I think the question should be more like: How can I be a man for Julie, when I keep screwing up and almost getting my sorry ass killed?"

Connor looked back down. Gunn said, "Anyway, some girls are looking for guys that _they_ can take care of, but I think most girls are looking for more of an equal. Not someone who can take care of them, but someone that they can be friends with and make a life with."

"So you think she'll accept it?"

"Not really, but I think she'll accept you. She just may hate the rest of us."

Connor said, "I guess I should go talk to her."

"Probably, but I want to say something else first."

Connor waited. Gunn said, "Angel hates having to spank you, and Julie hating him will only make it worse."

Connor said, "Good."

Gunn reached over and whacked the back of Connor's head. He said, "Not good!"

Connor glared at Gunn. Gunn thought for a second and then said, "Let's see if I can help you see Angel's point of view. What if you and Julie were walking along and you smelled a vampire nest. Then she wanted to go and see it, but it was just the two of you and there were like ten vampires in there. What if she wouldn't listen to you and tried to go into the building no matter what you said? What would you do?"

"She's not stupid, she wouldn't do that."

Gunn sighed and said, "I'm trying to make a point. What if she did?"

Connor thought about it. "I'd pick her up and carry her away so she couldn't do it."

"And what if she hated you after that? Would you be sorry you did it?"

Connor said, "Well, I'd be sorry she hated me, but I'd be glad she was alive."

"Angel doesn't like to cause you pain, but he does it because he thinks it will keep you safe, and help you to eventually blend with society."

They were quiet for a few minutes and then Connor said, "I guess."

"I like Julie, and I'm glad she makes you happy, but if you can't convince her not to give Angel a hard time about it, then I'm gonna try."

Connor looked at Gunn suspiciously and said, "How?"

"I'll tell her what you were like when you first got here, and I'll tell her what you did to Angel."

Connor glared at Gunn and muttered, "Bastard."

Gunn reached over and smacked Connor on the butt, which normally wouldn't have caused Connor much pain, but since he was already sore from Angel, it hurt. Connor said, "Ow!" and jumped off the bed and got ready to fight.

Gunn stayed in his chair and said in a calm voice, "Your dad may not care that you call him whatever you feel like, but I'm not up for that. I have been a better friend to you then you've been to me over the past five months, and you know it. How many times have you lied to me? I've never lied to you. How many times have I tried to help you, and how many times have you tried to help me? Who made sure you had food to eat and a place to stay for three months when you were being patricidal?"

Connor didn't say anything, but looked guilty. Gunn got up and said, "I'm gonna go help with the research. You think about what you're gonna tell Julie, and let one of us know before you go see her."

Connor just stood looking at his bed waiting for Gunn to leave. Gunn opened the door, and then turned back to Connor and said, "Think about telling her the truth Connor. It's the only way a relationship can last."

Connor lay back down and thought about things.

Half an hour later Connor came down the stairs. Angel looked up from his book and said, "Hey. You wanna help with the research?"

Connor said, "Yeah, but I think I'm gonna go see Julie for a little while first… if that's okay."

Angel nodded and said, "Sure."

Connor looked at Gunn who was still looking at his book. Connor said, "Um…. Gunn?"

Gunn looked at him and said, "Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute… in the kitchen?"

Gunn set his book down and said, "Sure."

They got in the kitchen and Gunn leaned against the counter. Connor said, "I… I'm sorry about…. you know, calling you a bastard, and…. You're right, I haven't been a good friend to you… lots of times, and I know you've been there for me… ever since I got here, so…. I'm sorry about that too."

Gunn took a step and gave Connor a quick hug. He said, "Thanks. It means a lot to me that you apologized, and I think it shows how much you've matured that you can see things from my point of view. And I may have been a little hard on you when I said that I've helped you out more then you've helped me. You've helped me plenty when we've been fighting together, and as for the other stuff, well, I'm the adult, so I should be helping you out more."

Connor smiled at him tentatively and said, "So are we good now?"

"Yeah. Go see your girl."

Connor nodded and headed out.

Connor decided to run to Julie's so he had more time to think. He was very nervous about seeing her and talking to her about what she had heard. By the time he got to her door, he still didn't know quite what to say. He knocked on the door. Julie answered and said, "Connor?"

Before he could say anything she flung her arms around him. He was surprised but held her until she let go. She said, "Do you need a place to stay?"

"What?"

"I mean you could stay here, but they would find you. If you need a place to stay I have some friends who would be willing to hide you."

Connor looked genuinely confused as he said, "Hide me from what?"

Julie said with exasperation, "From your abusive father, and the other creeps you live with!"

Connor was surprised at how vehement she sounded. He said, "Can we talk inside?"

Julie stepped aside and held the door open. Connor went in, and she closed the door behind them. Julie's apartment was small with the living room and kitchen combined into one room. Julie sat on the couch and Connor stood by the kitchen counter. He said, "I don't want to hide from Angel, or any of the others. They're my family."

"Being family doesn't mean that you have to just sit by and let them abuse you."

Connor shook his head and said, "It's not abuse."

Julie looked at him with disbelief and said, "How can you say that after what I heard?"

Connor took a deep breath and said, "It's a long story, and involves a lot more then just what happened tonight."

Julie said, "So tell me."

Connor spent the next hour talking. He ended up telling Julie about Angel being a vampire with a soul, and about Angel's history with Holtz. He told her about his childhood with Holtz, and what he had been like when he first got to this dimension. He even told her about trying to kill Angel. Then he told her about his relationship with Angel now, and all the things Angel had done to help him. He finished by explaining what the spanking she had overheard was for.

When he was done the room was silent for a while. Julie got up and said, "I'm gonna make a hot chocolate. Do you want one?"

Connor nodded and was quiet while she made it, giving her time to think. Once they both had a cup she said, "It's a lot to absorb in one night Connor."

He nodded. She eventually said, "I still don't think it's justified. I mean, maybe at first, but that's a big maybe. He should have come up with some other way to bring you around to his way of thinking. But now it's just…. Wrong."

Connor sipped his drink and said, "Wrong, or not, it's the way things are, and the way they're going to be for a while. You can accept it or not, but things will be…. less stressful for everyone, including me, if you can. And if you can't and… and you don't want to be with me anymore….. then I guess…"

Julie put her cup down and went over to kiss Connor. She said, "It doesn't change us. I love us."

She kissed him again and said, "I may hate Angel, but I love you Connor."

He smiled and said, "I love you too."

"Come to bed with me."

An hour later the phone rang. Julie and Connor were lying in bed together, still naked and cuddling. Julie answered with, "Hello?"

Angel said, "Hi, this is Angel. Is Connor there?"

Julie handed the phone to Connor and said in a disgusted voice, "Guess who?"

Connor took the phone and said, "Dad?"

"Hey, just checking up on you. You've been gone for a while."

"I thought maybe I'd spend the night here."

The line was silent for a few seconds and then Angel said, "No. Not with the Beast on the loose. You can both stay here if you want, but not there. If the Beast attacks, I want you close by so all of us can fight it."

Connor sighed and said, "Okay. I'll be home soon."

"Bye." 

Connor hung up and Julie glared at him. She said, "He won't let you stay? What's he gonna do, come over here and drag you home?"

Connor cringed and said, "He might."

Julie glared and said, "What if I didn't invite him in?"

Connor smiled and said, "I'm glad you remembered all the stuff I told you about vampires. That's good. It will keep you safe. Unfortunately it won't keep me safe, because there are four other members of the team that would have no problem breaking down you door and hauling me home if Dad told them to."

Julie started to argue about that, but Connor said, "But it wouldn't get that far, because any one of them could guilt me into going home way before then. And Dad's right anyway. The Beast is loose, and could be following me. We would both be safer at the hotel. Will you come stay with me?"

Julie lay back down and said, "I don't want to see any of them."

Connor reluctantly got up and started putting his clothes on. He said, "It would make me happy if you stayed with me tonight, but I'll understand if you aren't ready to see them."

Julie looked at him and said, "I have to get up early for a class tomorrow, so I should stay home anyway."

That wasn't what Connor wanted to hear, but he nodded and said, "Will you come by tomorrow like you have been, or should I come over here to see you?"

She said, "Call me if I don't come over by five."

He nodded. He was done getting dressed and leaned down to kiss her. He said, "I do love you, and I'll see you tomorrow."

She said, "See ya tomorrow."

Connor ran home, and everyone could tell he had made some kind of peace with Julie because he greeted everyone with a grin and said, "What are we researching?"

Fred told him they were studying up on the girl to find out what the Beast's plan was, and Connor nodded and said, "Good idea."

Angel tossed him a book, and they all worked together late into the night.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: This chapter has spoilers for the episode 'Long Days Journey into Night'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 19

The whole team had been trying to find information about the little girl who used to live in the white room of Wolfram and Hart for most of the evening with no success. Connor had had a long day of confronting the Beast, killing zombies, getting spanked, and confessing all the secrets of his life to his girlfriend, and by 2am he had nodded off into his book twice. Angel finally told him to go to bed, and he didn't argue. By 3am everyone was tired of research. Angel finally closed his book a little louder then necessary and said, "Let's call it a night, and we can get started on it again in the morning."

They all nodded and as Wesley headed for the door Angel said, "You can sleep here if you want Wes."

Wesley shook his head and said, "I want to look in one of my books at home. I'll bring it with me in the morning."

Angel nodded and everyone headed to bed.

The next morning everyone slept in. Fred was the first to wake up, and she went to start some coffee. As she was making it Wesley came in. She smiled at him and said, "You're here earlier then usual."

Wesley held up a book to her and said, "I've found a reference to the girl in Rhinehardt's Compendium."

Fred practically grabbed the book as he handed it to her opened to the page with the reference. Fred read it and smiled at Wesley. She said, "This is great. Now we know where to look. Good job."

Wesley smiled and looked back at the book as he said, "I believe we may find more about her in the Sinth volumes."

Fred nodded and started walking towards the office that housed those books, and left the coffeepot sitting on the counter with water still in it.

Half an hour later Gunn woke up to an empty bed. He sighed as he looked at the time and realized he had slept in. He took a quick shower and got dressed. He went downstairs and looked for Fred in the kitchen. He found the coffeepot, and poured the water into the coffee maker and turned it on. Then he went to find Fred. He found her sitting next to Wesley deep in research mode. Gunn felt the usual flash of jealousy seeing the two of them working together so closely, and immediately noticed that Fred was still in her pajamas and bathrobe. He hadn't been noticed, so he said with false cheer, "Morning."

Fred barley looked up as she said, "Morning Charles. Could you bring me a cup of coffee?"

Gunn glared at the two bent heads, and turned to go back to the kitchen. He stood and waited for the coffee to get done, and poured a cup for himself and one for Fred. He thought about getting one for Wesley too but didn't. He took it in and Fred said, "Thanks."

The room grew silent again and Gunn said, "Did you guys find something on evil red riding hood?"

Wesley broke away from his reading long enough to say, "Yes, we should know more in about…."

He looked to Fred and she looked to him. They both looked back at Gunn and said, "An hour." in unison.

Gunn didn't hide his look of annoyance, but no one saw it, because Fred and Wesley were back into their books. Gunn had to work hard on not sweeping the books onto the floor before leaving the room. He went out to the lobby and found the daily paper to get his mind off them.

Half an hour later Connor got up and a few minutes after that Angel was up too. Gunn informed them that Wesley and Fred had found something and should have some information for them in half an hour or so. Connor, after eating two slices of leftover pizza, and a bowl of cereal, said, "More research today?"

Angel sipped his blood and said, "Let's wait and see what Fred and Wes come up with."

Angel nodded to Gunn and said, "Why don't you start doing some tutoring for now."

Connor groaned but said, "All right."

Gunn handed him part of the paper and said, "Start with this for now."

As he said that, Lorne came in and said with genuine cheer, "Morning kids."

After a few mumbled mornings, Angel went to his office to check the answering machine for any messages that might have come in during the night.

A couple of minutes before the allotted hour, Fred and Wesley came out of the room holding some books. Everyone gathered around them, and Wesley started in on the explanation. "The girl at Wolfram and Hart apparently had another function as well. Her name was Masektet, and she was one of a group of five entities that together formed an order called the Ra-tet. They are enormously powerful beings which are linked to the ancient God Ra."

Fred broke in with; "They're kind of like totems or symbolic manifestations of Ra."

Wesley nodded. Gunn said, "What did the Beast want her dead for?"

Wesley said, "Well with her gone, Wolfram and Hart has lost their connection to the senior partners."

Fred said, "And he sucked some kind of power from her. We don't know yet what that will enable him to do."

Angel said, "So what do we need to do to find out?"

Fred pulled a paper out of her stack and said, "One of the other five totems supposedly lives here in town. She's a well known and powerful shaman and magic woman named Ma'at."

Lorne nodded, "I've heard of her before. Some of my old clients at the bar talked about her. But from what I know of her, she's one of the good guys."

Gunn said, "Maybe it's not the same person."

Wesley shook his head. "No, it makes sense. If they are all manifestations of Ra, it is perfectly conceivable that they could all be very different sides of the same god. One could be basically evil while another could be good and kind."

Fred said, "The three others who make up the five are Ashet, Manjet, and Semkhet. We are trying to find out their locations right now in case we don't get any information from Ma'at."

Angel nodded and said, "Good work guys. Lorne, why don't you go see if you can get an appointment with Ma'at and see what information you can get from her. Wesley and Fred, you keep looking and see what you can find out about the other three totems. Gunn, would you mind tutoring Connor for a couple of extra hours today?"

Gunn nodded and said, "That's fine."

Connor said, "I think our time would be better spent helping with the research."

Angel shook his head no and said, "Maybe later today when we see what Lorne can find. For now do some schoolwork."

Connor rolled his eyes and clearly showed his disapproval but didn't say anything. Gunn went over to Fred and whispered in her ear. She looked down at her bathrobe and gave an embarrassed look to the other people in the room as she said, "I'm just gonna go….freshen up. I'll be down in a few minutes."

A few hours later Gunn noticed that Connor was starting to stare off into space instead of doing his math homework. Gunn asked, "Something on your mind?"

Connor looked confused for a second and then shook his head no. He went back to studying. Ten minutes later Gunn said, "You've been on the same problem for the past ten minutes. What's up?"

Connor looked a little embarrassed and said, "It's nothing." 

Gunn closed Connor's book for him and said, "It's enough to distract you, so tell me."

Connor sighed and slumped back in his chair. "You know that girl in the white room?"

"Yeah, what was her name? Messy-tet or something."

"Yeah her. Well, you know what she said… 'The answer is among you'."

Gunn nodded.

"Do you…do you think she was talking about me?"

Gunn looked down for a second to collect his thoughts. He looked back at Connor and said, "The thought has crossed my mind. He arrived in the spot you were born. He showed up at Wolfram and Hart to go on a killing spree ten minutes after you got there."

Connor couldn't keep looking at Gunn and looked down at his closed book. He had had the same suspicions that Gunn was voicing, but it somehow sounded much worse when someone else said them. Gunn noticed Connor's demeanor had changed and he said, "Hey."

Connor looked back up with shame in his eyes. Gunn said, "Even if you are somehow 'the answer', and even if you are connected to the Beast, I do _not _think that you are evil or malicious. I don't think you are causing the Beast to do these horrible things. In fact her statement of 'the answer is among you' might mean that you are the key to killing the Beast, and that could be a good thing."

Connor thought about that for a few seconds and then slowly nodded. Gunn continued, "But for now we have to wait and see what Lorne, Fred, and Wes come up with, so could you try to concentrate on your math?"

Connor sighed and opened his book. Gunn said, "Just think about getting your GED and having Angel get off your back about it."

Connor muttered, "That would be nice."

A few hours later Lorne arrived looking grim. Angel noticed him first and said, "Bad news?"

"Ma'at is dead. Something ripped out her heart last night."

"The Beast?"

"She was a powerful woman. But he didn't seem to have any trouble getting to her."

By this time the whole gang had gathered around and was listening. Gunn said, "The Beast must be killing them all. Wiping them out one by one."

Wesley disagreed, "We can't assume that. The Beast has killed thousands of people here in the city. Just because two out of that thousand have a connection doesn't mean he is specifically targeting them."

Fred nodded, "Two points make a line…."

Wesley finished, "Not a pattern."

Gunn glared at both of them. Connor said, "But it wouldn't hurt to try and find one of the other three and get information out of them right?"

Angel nodded and was about to say something when the hotel's front door opened. Gwen stood there looking at everyone. Angel had met her about two months ago when they were both after the Axes of Pithea. They hadn't seen each other since. Angel smiled, as he looked her up and down. She was wearing tight red leather pants and a tight black leather top that showed off her midriff along with the always-necessary gloves. He said, "Gwen?"

"Hi Angel."

Connor had never met Gwen, but he had heard of her before. He leaned over to Gunn and whispered, "Electro shock girl Gwen?"

Gunn nodded. Angel said, "To what do we owe this pleasure?"

"There are some really strange things going on out in the world right now, and well, because you are the strangest person I know, I thought I'd ask you. So one freak to another, is the world coming to an end?"

Angel shrugged and said, "I don't know for sure, but I think someone or something is trying to make that happen. Why? What happened to scare you enough to come here?"

Gwen walked down the stairs to join the little group. She took a deep breath and said, "I was meeting with a client of mine three nights ago when something killed him."

Fred still had a grudge against Gwen for accidentally killing Gunn the night they were trying to steal the Axis. She said in a snippy voice, "I don't see how that's all that unusual. I'm sure the people you do business with get killed all the time."

Gwen said, "Oh, did I forget to mention that the something that killed my client looked like the devil? He was a demon made out of rock with big horns and cloven feet."

Angel said, "The Beast."

While Fred grabbed one of her books and said begrudgingly, "Not that I forgive you for what you did to Charles, because I don't, but it would help us if we could hear more about what happened. What was your clients name?" 

"Ashet."

Gunn said triumphantly, "There's your pattern!"

Fred said to Gwen, "Did the Beast take anything from your client when he killed him?" 

Gwen said, "Like what?"

"Any internal organs?"

Lorne added, "Or black smoke?"

Gwen shrugged and said, "There was a lot of light all around. It was too bright to see much."

Fred looked at the book and said, "That could be it. Maybe he absorbed the light the same way he absorbed the dark smoke from Mesektet."

Wesley nodded and looked at the book with her. He said, "That means there are only two of them left, Manjet and Semkhet."

Angel asked, "Were the two of you able to find a location for them yet?"

Fred nodded and said, "Manjet was last seen in Bolivia a few months ago, and Semkhet is reported to live in Death Valley."

Angel said, "Well I say let's get to them before the Beast and find out what the hell is going on."

Gwen said, "I'm a little confused. Does someone want to fill me in?"

Angel said, "Once we have a plan we'll explain. Death Valley is a four hour drive from here."

Angel looked at his watch. He said, "It's three o'clock now, so one of us could be there by seven."

Angel looked out at the sun and said, "Well, one of us who isn't me."

Fred said, "Wesley and I should really stay and try to find out what the Beast is planning to do once he kills all of the Ra-tet. And hopefully we can come up with a way to stop him."

Angel nodded in agreement, and noticed the way Gunn continued to glare at them. He said, "You up for a drive Gunn?"

Gunn looked over at Angel with relief said, "Sure."

Fred handed Gunn a piece of paper that had all the information for finding the cave where Semkhet was supposedly living.

Angel looked at Lorne to see if he wanted to go too, but Lorne shook his head and said, "The heat is murder on my skin. No thanks."

Connor said, "I'll go."

Angel thought about it and said, "Okay, but only if you study in the car."

Connor rolled his eyes. Angel said, "I know you hate that I keep making you study when the world seems to be going to hell, but well, that happens pretty often around me, and if we keep using it as an excuse, you'll never get your GED."

Gunn said, "What about Julie? Is she coming over here like usual, or is she still upset about….yesterday?"

Connor thought about Julie and looked away as he said, "I don't know if she's still upset."

Gwen surprised everyone by saying, "I'll go with Denzel."

Fred glared which Gunn noticed. He smiled and said, "Not that I mind the freakishly accurate comparison, but if you come with me, you will keep your hands to yourself."

Gwen gave him a smile and a nod. Angel said, "Good then it's settled. Connor you can stay here and study with Lorne and me, Fred and Wes can research the Ra-tet, and Gunn and Gwen can go talk with Semkhet."

Connor started to object with, "But I think I should go too…."

But no one was listening to him. Fred was busy glaring at Gunn's back, Wesley was busy watching Fred, and Gunn was busy doing his best to charm Gwen as he explained everything he knew about the Ra-tet as they walked out the door. Lorne put a hand on Connor's shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it munchkin. You would just get in the way of that."

Lorne nodded to the retreating forms of Gunn and Gwen as they went out the hotel's door. Connor turned to Lorne and said, "What do you mean 'that'?"

Lorne squeezed Connor's shoulder and said, "Come on Juniorcakes, let's go study some music."

Connor reluctantly followed Lorne as Wesley distracted Fred with another entry having to do with the Ra-tet.

By the time they reached his truck, Gunn had told Gwen all he knew about the Ra-tet. The truck was quiet, as both occupants were busy with their own thoughts for the first fifteen minutes. Gunn couldn't get the pictures of Fred and Wesley out of his head. Gwen disturbed his thoughts with, "It's gonna be a long drive, and if we don't find something to talk about, it's gonna seem even longer."

Gunn smiled and said, "Okay. What should we talk about?"

Gwen thought for a second and then asked, "Tell me how you started working for Angel."

Gunn lost the smile as he thought about his sister. He said, "We were both fighting vampires, and he kept calling me and asking me to help him on cases. Then one day he started paying me." 

"Wow."

Gunn looked over at Gwen and gave her a confused look. She said, "If that's how involved all of your stories are, we better put on some music."

Gunn sighed. "Are you sure you want to really hear it? It could be a long and drawn out story that really starts back when I was a kid." 

"Sounds interesting."

"Let's see. I guess I'd have to start with my father. I don't remember living with him, but my mom said the three of us lived together until I was about two. I know from stories that my mom told me that he used to hit her every time he got drunk. She told me that when I was almost two he got drunk and slapped me across the room. She left him that night. The next week she started living with another guy named Marvin. She got pregnant right away. I was two when my sister, Alonna, was born."

"Marvin never really wanted kids, and now because he loved my mom, he was stuck with two of us. He tried to avoid us most of the time. I can't remember him ever holding me, or even touching me. And it was rare for him to talk to either of us kids unless it was to tell us to do something."

"My real dad would come by a two or three times a year to see me for an hour or so. Twice he took me to his place to spend the night, once when I was five, and once when I was eight. When I was five, I went home with a swollen eye, and a few welts. When I was eight, he broke my arm. That was the first time the state got involved with our lives. Mom had to take me to the hospital, and they asked questions."

"My mom tried to keep me and Alonna happy. She loved us both, and we knew it. She worked, but when she was home, she would play with us, and read to us. We were always kind of poor, but I can't remember us ever going hungry. So it really hurt my mom when the state came in to check on us after that incident with my dad."

"My mom died in a car accident when I was ten. After that there was no one to take care of us. Marvin flat out didn't want us, and my dad wasn't an option after the state had come in. Alonna and I were lucky though, because we got to stay together. We traveled from shelter to shelter and foster home to foster home until I turned sixteen. Then one day the state worker told me that they didn't have a home or shelter that could take us both. When they tried to split us up, I told Alonna we were going to run away and live on our own. She didn't even ask any questions. She just packed her stuff into a backpack and we left. We lived on the streets for the next two years. It wasn't all that bad. LA is warm even in the winter most times, Alonna was really good at shoplifting, and I was big for my age, which meant most people didn't question us or hassle us."

Gunn paused and Gwen waited. Gunn looked over at her and said, "When I was eighteen I met my first vampire. He almost killed Alonna before I killed him."

Gunn continued to talk about his sister and his street friends, and how they had formed a vampire killing group. He told her about meeting Angel for the first time. He paused in his story again and realized he had been talking for the past half an hour. He also realized he had never told Fred most of the things he was telling Gwen. As he was thinking Gwen said, "What happened then?"

"We didn't trust Angel, so I locked him in an old meat locker while I went to get my sister back from the vampires that had kidnapped her. We found the nest easily. I went in first. I thought maybe the place was empty at first, but then I saw her. I was so happy to see she wasn't dead….. But then I realized she really was dead. The bastards had turned her. I….. She was my only family. I always looked out for her, and ultimately I failed. She talked to me about how great she felt, and about how she could make me feel good too. I could be powerful with no guilt. She said she would be the one to take care of me for once. She said she would turn me, and then all the pain and misery that we had known our whole lives would be gone."

"I staked her as she went to bite my neck."

The truck was silent for a few minutes. Then Gwen said, "Sounds like you had to grow up fast. Wanna hear my story?"

Gunn was surprised. He was expecting some kind of pity. He thought about it, and thought that was why he had never told Fred. He could hear her in his mind saying, "Oh Charles." with pity. Fred, with her perfect childhood and loving parents who still called her every week like clockwork, couldn't understand that pity was the worst thing. But then Gunn realized spending five years in Pylea would mean Fred would understand pain and suffering. Gunn wondered if maybe it was just easier to tell someone he didn't know very well. Gunn said, "Yeah. I do."

Gwen didn't tell many people about her childhood. She wasn't sure why she planned to tell Gunn, but he had been forthcoming with her, so she decided to do the same. She said, "I was struck by lightning for the first time when I was four. I'm not sure if I was already somehow different from other people, or if that was what changed me. After that any time my skin came in contact with another human they would get a huge jolt of electricity. I killed the gardener, Sam, the day it happened. I killed my nanny, Mary, that night. I loved both of them. My parents were quite well off, and I had spent more time with Sam and Mary then I ever had with my parents. It was traumatic to say the least."

"My parents had me tested by the best medical facilities there were. No one could explain it, and no one could find a cure. After months of testing, they sent me home with an external cardiac defibrillator to help revive anyone who accidentally came in contact with me. My parents hired me a new nanny, Sally. She was pretty nice. Then one night a year after she started, she went to tuck me in and accidentally brushed against my arm. Her scream woke me up, and I ran to get my father. They were able to revive Sally, but she didn't work for us after that."

"After that my parents started looking into boarding schools that could help with my 'problem'. Over the next year, I accidentally touched two more gardeners, and a cook. When I was six, another bolt of lightning hit me, and I think that was the final straw. My parents just couldn't take it anymore. They were both afraid of me and worried about me at the same time. They had found a boarding school for me, and two days after the second lighting strike they drove me there."

"I almost killed a boy my first day. He asked me if I was a freak, and then said I didn't look like one. He tried to hand me a toy car. I accidentally touched him. My parents had of course paid the school very well, and they had also sent along the external cardiac defibrillator, so the boy survived. After that everyone at the school called me 'The Freak'. But really school wasn't too awful. The food was decent. I enjoyed my classes, and most of my teachers. I had a large room to myself. I spent a lot of time alone, and I was lonely pretty often. But I had learned to read early, and reading helped me to feel less lonely." 

"When I was fifteen a boy at school tried to kiss me. I guess it was some kind of a dare. I was sitting alone under a tree reading a book, and he snuck up behind me. He was an inch from my face before I even saw him. I started to shout 'no', but it was too late. He kissed me, and died. They tried to revive him, but couldn't. Maybe he had a weak heart to begin with. After that I moved back home. I had already gotten enough credits to graduate anyway." 

"But once I was home I was bored. I wanted some of the excitement that I always read about in my books. So I decided to become a thief."

Gunn waited for more. He said, "You just decided?"

Gwen nodded. "And it turns out, I'm really good at it. I moved out at eighteen, and don't really have much contact with my folks. We talk and sometimes visit around Christmas time, and my mom usually calls me on my birthday. But I'm happier being a thief then I ever thought possible."

Gwen was surprised when Gunn said; "What about it makes you happy?"

Gwen had only told her story to three other people. They had all basically told her how immoral she was for becoming a thief when her parents were so well off. She said, "It's an adrenaline rush for one, and I guess it makes me feel powerful to know that I'm smarter then the average Joe. I love breaking into places that have elaborate security systems."

Gunn nodded and said, "That's kind of how I always felt about killing vamps. There was the adrenaline rush, but also knowing that you can kill something that is physically stronger then you, is a feeling of power."

Gunn and Gwen spent the rest of the trip happily talking, and finding that they truly enjoyed each other's company. As they pulled up to the cave Fred had given them directions to, Gunn realized with some guilt that he had had a better time talking to Gwen over the past four hours then he had had with Fred for the past few months. Gunn said, "You ready?"

Gwen nodded. As they got out of the truck, Gwen said, "Hey Gunn?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." 

"What for?"

"For just listening to me and not judging."

Gunn nodded and said, "Sure. Same goes for me too."

Gwen smiled and turned to lead the way into the cave.

They found Semkhet in pieces. His entrails were scattered about the cave. Gwen gave a disgusted groan at the site, and put her hand over her mouth. Gunn looked around and said, "Looks like the Beast got here first."

"Ya think?"

"I guess we should call Angel and see what he wants us to do now."

As Gunn was pulling out his cell phone he heard a voice say, "What are you two doing here?"

Gunn and Gwen both turned to see a middle aged short man with a potbelly. He had on khaki shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and a hat to cover his balding hair. Gunn said, "We came to talk with the big kitty, but he's not feeling talkative right now. What are you doing here?"

"Standing in the remains of my fallen brethren."

"Brethren? Who are you exactly?"

The man took a few steps towards them as he said, "I am Manjet, keeper of the orb, and the last living member of the Ra-tet. But on off hours, I like Manny."

Gunn looked at the man closely. He didn't look like much. Gwen said with disbelief, "You're Manjet?"

"You got it sweetie."

Gunn got down to business. "You apparently know that the Beast has killed the other four members of the Ra-tet, but do you know why?"

"He want's to blot out the sun."

"Come again?"

"Once all of us are gone, he will perform a ritual that will completely block out the sun. First it will just be over the city where he does the ritual. But then after a few days it will be all of North America, and after a couple of weeks it will be the entire world. The whole world in total darkness forever."

Gunn and Gwen were quiet trying to absorb this information. Manny said, "Well, I've got to go."

He turned and Gunn said, "Wait! Where are you going? The Beast is already looking for you I'm sure."

Manny nodded. "I'm sure he is too, so I want to go visit my dear friends over at the Peak-a-Boob Lounge and get one last lap dance before I'm found."

Gunn shook his head. "Come with us back to LA, and we'll do everything we can to protect you from the Beast."

"Trust me kid, there ain't nothin' anyone can do to stop this."

"You don't know me and my friends. We've come up against more demons then I can remember, and we've always won. At least we're willing to try. You can't just give up and accept this. Help us fight back."

Manny looked down and thought about it for a few seconds. "What the hell, I suppose it can't hurt."

Then he walked a few steps to Gunn and not very quietly asked him, "Do you think she'd give me a lap dance?"

Gunn looked over to Gwen, who looked appalled. Gunn said, "She's way out of your league man."

"I'm a dying man. I should get a last wish."

Gwen said, "I'll drive us back. Gunn gets the middle seat. Let's go."

Gunn didn't usually let anyone drive his truck, but he thought he would make an exception this time.

Back at the hotel Connor was studying when he got a phone call. Lorne handed him the phone. Connor said, "Hello?"

Julie said, "Hi, it's me."

Connor looked at the clock. It was 4:30, and he knew she was done with classes for the day. He said, "How was your day?"

"Fine."

Connor could tell she was still unhappy about the things that had happened the day before. He said, "Are you calling to tell me that you aren't going to come see me today?"

"No….. I…. Actually I was wondering if you could come over here and talk to me for a few minutes."

Connor said, "Sure. I'll be there in half an hour or so."

"Thanks. Bye."

Connor hung up and went to find Angel. Angel was in his office drawing a picture of the Beast. Connor said, "Can I use your car to go visit Julie for a few hours?"

Angel got the keys out of his pocket, and as he tossed them to Connor he asked, "Are you done with your tutoring for the day?"

Connor nodded. Angel said, "Be back by seven. We should have some information from Gunn by then."

"Okay."

Connor arrived at Julie's apartment and knocked on the door. Julie opened it and pulled Connor into a kiss. Connor kissed her back, and when they broke apart he said, "That was nice."

Julie said, "Come on in, I have a proposal for you."

Connor walked in and sat down on her couch. She closed the door and sat beside him. She said, "Let's run away together."

"What?"

"I love you Connor, and I want to be with you. I can't stand that those people you live with treat you the way they do. I have quite a bit of money in the bank. We could get an airplane ticket and go anywhere. Places they couldn't find us."

Connor closed his eyes for a minute thinking about it. He shook his head. He did love Julie, but he found that he really didn't want to leave. He knew he couldn't leave with the Beast out there, but even if that wasn't an issue, he didn't want to leave Angel, Fred, or Gunn yet. He said, "I'm sorry Julie. I can't."

"Why?"

"The Beast is still out there killing people, and I have to stop it. I can't do it alone, and we have to find a way to get it. And…. I know you don't understand, and I know you don't agree, but I don't want to leave my family."

Julie crawled over to Connor and sat in his lap. She kissed him again and then said, "Think about it Connor. You could just leave this entire mess behind. You and I could start a whole new life together."

Connor said, "I have a responsibility to try and stop the Beast. I won't leave while he is still out there killing people. I could be the reason he exists. I have to do everything in my power to stop him. Everything else comes second to that. Every person he has killed is blood on my hands. I can't leave that behind."

"You aren't responsible for what that Beast does."

Connor gave a little laugh and said, "Well you and Angel agree about something at least."

Julie was quiet while she thought for a few minutes. Connor put a hand on the side of her face and said, "Why don't you come spend the night with me at the hotel, and see for yourself what my family is like."

"I heard all I needed to hear the last time, thanks anyway."

Connor could tell she was still angry about the spanking she had overheard. He said, "You liked them before yesterday."

"Yeah, _before_ yesterday I did."

"So give them a second chance."

Julie was quiet again. Connor said, "You know I was the one who got spanked, and I've gotten over it, so why can't you? I heal fast, and I was back to normal when I woke up this morning. I hate it when it's happening, but I can also see why Angel does it. I told you what I was like when I first got to this dimension. He had to do something to change me, or I would be in jail, in a mental institution, or dead. So why don't you pack an overnight bag and see first hand what it's like there."

Julie thought about it. Connor smiled and said, "Who knows, maybe you can change Angel's mind about it. I would be just fine with that."

Julie gave him a small smile. Connor was encouraged and said, "Or maybe with you there, I'll keep myself in check better, and he won't have any reason to. I'd be fine with that too."

Julie said, "You know when you put it like that…..I know it's not me, and I don't know why Angel spanking you makes me so angry. It just does."

"I'm sorry."

Julie smiled again, "Why are you sorry?"

Connor shrugged. "Because I don't like to see you unhappy I guess. So will you pack up some stuff, and come with me tonight?"

Julie looked off towards her bedroom. "I guess I could come over for the night, and see how things go. I don't know if I can be civil towards Angel."

Connor kissed her and said, "We'll keep to ourselves as much as possible."

Julie got up and packed a bag. As she was checking the windows and turning out the lights she said, "What if Angel and the others don't want me there?"

Connor thought about it. "It doesn't matter. They know I love you, so they'll try to get along with you anyway."

"Really? Even if they don't like me?"

Connor nodded. "But they do like you."

Julie nodded also, but looked like she still had some doubts.

Connor and Julie showed up at the hotel half an hour later. Lorne was at the counter and as the two of them walked in he gave them a smile and said, "Hi."

Connor looked at Julie and saw her smile back. At least she seemed to like one member of the group still. Connor said, "Any news from Gunn?"

Lorne looked at the clock and said, "Not yet. Probably not for another hour at least."

Connor was holding Julie's overnight bag in one hand, and Julie's hand in his other. He said, "Is Dad here?"

Lorne nodded to the office. Connor started that way, but Julie didn't move as he started to go that way. He turned and looked at her. She shook her head no. Connor said, "Let's just get it over with. You're gonna have to see him sometime."

Julie looked disgusted, as if she were looking at a messy dead demon, and then gave a slight nod. Connor pulled her with him to Angel's office. Angel had known they were there, and wasn't really looking forward to the confrontation either. He set his notes down and looked up as the kids went in. Julie was giving him a look of pure hatred.

Connor said, "Hey Dad, Julie's gonna spend the night here."

Angel sat back and said, "Is there something wrong with her apartment?"

"No. I just want her to be here."

Angel paused for a few seconds and then looked at Julie and said, "And do you want to be here?"

Julie looked over at Connor and said, "I want to be where Connor is."

"Okay, you can have the room next to Connor's, but just for tonight."

Connor said, "Thanks." and led Julie out of the office and into his room.

Once they were there, Julie shuddered and said, "He makes my skin crawl."

Connor said nothing hoping that in time, she would come around the way he had. Connor looked at his dresser and said, "Do you want me to put this bag in the room next door?"

Julie smiled at him, "I didn't decide to come all the way over here and put up with your family just to be next door to you."

Connor smiled back. "I'll put it next door, and I'll come to you once everyone is asleep."

Julie nodded in agreement.

Downstairs Angel had his head in his hands trying to stop the impending headache when Lorne came in. Lorne brought him a cup of coffee and said, "Looks like you could use this."

Angel looked up and said, "Thanks."

Lorne stood and waited a minute, knowing Angel could use a friend to talk to. Angel took a sip and then said, "I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"Come again?"

Angel sighed. "Should I let Julie spend the night? Should I flat out say no? Which one is going to make Connor hate me less in the long run? Which one is actually best for him? Why can't he be a baby again? Even with everyone after him, it was easier then this."

Lorne smiled, "All you can do is try your best to make the right choices. No matter what, when it's all said and done he's still gonna be your son, and you're still going to love him, and if he knows that you're trying, he'll love you too."

Angel stared into his cup and said, "I don't know about that Lorne. He's never said it, and now he's attached to this girl that hates me. I wonder if he'll leave here running when his year is up."

Angel shook his head and said, "Well, I'm depressed now."

Lorne got up and patted Angel's shoulder as he said, "Why don't you cheer yourself up by thinking about the seven foot demon that's out there on a killing spree in our town?"

Angel gave Lorne a wry smile and said, "Now there's a pep talk. Thanks."

At seven, Connor had finally talked Julie into coming downstairs and having some dinner, because he could hear her stomach growling. They saw that Fred and Wesley were taking a break from research to have a snack too. Fred smiled and said, "Hi Julie, it's good to see you."

Julie didn't smile but said, "Hi."

Connor opened the refrigerator and said, "Not much here except some leftover Chinese food. I think there are some cans of soup too."

Julie said, "Chinese is fine."

Connor got some boxes out and asked Fred, "Whose turn is it to shop?"

"Mine, I've just been too busy with research."

Connor got out two plates and put some food on both. He said, "If you want, Julie and I could go get some stuff tonight."

Fred smiled, "That would be really great Connor, thanks. I'll get you the company checkbook."

Connor put one of the plates in the microwave as Fred left. Connor asked Wesley, "Have you guys found anything out?"

Wesley sighed. "Not as much as I would like. We still can't find any references to the Beast in any of our textbooks, and we've not found any new information on the Ra-tet since this morning. We still don't know why the Beast is killing them. We've been discussing some ideas for killing the Beast, or at least getting rid of him, but none of them are solid as of yet."

The room grew silent until Fred came back. She handed Connor the checkbook and a list of things to get. Connor stuck them in his back pocket and got the plate full of warm food out of the microwave to hand to Julie. She took it to the table and started eating while Connor warmed his up.

A few minutes later Fred and Wesley were both eating some chips and talking about their research while Connor and Julie ate at the table. Angel came in with Lorne trailing behind him. Angel said, "Good, you're all here."

Everyone looked up at him. Angel noticed that Julie put her fork down and pushed her plate away as she glared at him. He said, "First off, just so everyone knows, Julie is going to stay here tonight."

Fred turned back and smiled at Julie and said, "That will be nice."

Julie didn't look at Fred at all and continued glaring at Angel. Angel ignored it and said, "And second, we just got a call from Gunn."

Wesley asked, "What did he say?"

Angel kept talking as he went to the cupboard for a cup. "Gunn and Gwen found Semkhet dead and in more then one piece."

Wesley and Fred exchanged a look and Fred said, "One left. How will we find him."

Wesley said, "I could make some calls to the Watchers council and see if they have heard where Manjet might be staying."

Fred and Wesley both turned back to Angel who had gotten some pig's blood out of the refrigerator and was pouring himself a cup. He put the rest of the blood back in the refrigerator and put his cup in the microwave as he said, "No need for that, Manjet was already there. They are bringing him home with them. They should be here in four hours or so depending on traffic."

Fred said, "Wow. Well that's great. Did they get any information out of him?"

Angel nodded not really wanting to give them all the bad news. He sighed as he got his blood out of the microwave and had a drink. He opened his mouth to start explaining when Julie held her stomach and said, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Connor looked over concerned. Julie looked at him and said, "You all use the same microwave that he uses to cook his blood! That's repulsive."

Connor looked confused. He looked back down at his Barbecue pork and said, "I don't understand. He's eating pig the same as us."

Julie shook her head and said, "No, it's not the same."

Angel had had enough and decided to do something to shut her up. He looked into his cup and said casually, "Would you prefer it if I ate one of you?"

Julie gasped and put her hand over her mouth. Wesley tried unsuccessfully to hide a laugh. Connor yelled, "That is NOT funny Angel. Knock it off."

Connor put an arm around Julie and looked at her when he said, "He's kidding Julie. He has a horrible sense of humor that you'll have to learn to ignore. He wouldn't eat anyone, I swear." He rubbed his hand up and down her arm a little to comfort her.

Lorne said to no one in particular, "I prefer my blood cold. With some vodka and a twist of lime." He turned to Angel and said, "You should try it that way sometime."

Angel mumbled, "You're as bad as Spike and his wheat-a-bits. Blood is blood, if it's not fresh and warm, it's just sustenance."

Fred clearly annoyed with the entire conversation said, "Hey! I think we have bigger issues here. Like what did Gunn learn from Manjet."

Angel delayed again and gulped down the rest of his blood. He set the cup down and said, "Apparently once all of the totems of the Ra-tet are dead, the Beast will perform a ritual to blot out the sun for all eternity."

The room was silent for a few seconds. Angel said, "We're going to try and keep Manjet safe, so that the Beast never gets the chance to do the ritual. But I think we better find anything we can on this ritual just in case."

Wesley and Fred turned to each other and started talking books. They got up and left the room ignoring everyone else as they talked. Julie looked at Connor and said, "The sun? Really?"

Connor shrugged and said, "We'll stop him."

Connor turned to Angel and said, "We were going to do some shopping for everyone. Do you want us to do something else instead? Maybe research?"

Angel shook his head. "No, shopping would be helpful. Just try to make it quick. We're going to have to talk about how to keep Manjet safe, and set up a controlled area for him."

Connor nodded and finished up his food. Angel and Lorne left talking about some books they were going to try and look at for information. Connor looked over at Julie and said, "Are you going to finish your food?"

Julie looked pale and disgusted. She shook her head no. He took her plate and ate the rest of hers too. He put them both in the sink and said, "Do you want to go with me to the store, or do you want to stay here."

Then before she had an answer he said, "Or do you want me to take you back to your apartment?"

Julie seemed to snap out of her daze and said, "No. I'll go to the store with you."


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Note: This chapter has spoilers for the episode 'Long Days Journey into Night'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 20

Four hours later, the shopping was done, and the plans for keeping Manjet safe were settled. Everyone was in the lobby still doing research a little after 1 AM, when Gunn, Gwen, and Manny came in the door. Gunn said, "Everyone, meet Manny, the keeper of the orb."

Manny gave a slight wave. Fred looked a little confused and said, "You're Manjet?"

Manny gave her a lecherous smile and said, "That's right sweetheart, and who might you be?"

Fred looked uncomfortable and said, "Fred. Nice to meet you."

"Fred? A sweet little thing like you should have a prettier name."

"Umm….."

Angel stepped in and said, "We have the basement set up for your protection, and we'll be guarding you in shifts."

Manny said, "I ain't expectin' no miracles. But I do appreciate that you're tryin'. You got a john?"

Angel pointed him in the right direction. Once Manny was out of the room Fred said, "Well he seems…"

Gwen said, "Yucky."

Fred and Julie both nodded. Wesley said, "We should question him about the ritual that blots out the sun immediately upon his return."

Angel agreed. He said, "Fred and Wes can get down all his information in a few minutes, and then Connor and I will take the first watch while the rest of you get some sleep. Gunn and Fred can relieve us at 7am. Then Wes and Lorne can take over for them around noon. Gwen, it's late, and you're more then welcome to spend the night here. Same goes for you Wes."

Gwen nodded and said, "Sure. Sounds good."

Gunn said, "I'll get you set up in a room."

"Thanks."

As they walked upstairs Wes said, "I'll stay too."

Angel nodded and turned to Connor, "Get a snack if you want, and maybe some homework, or a book to read, and I'll meet you at the basement door."

Connor nodded and then turned to Julie. He gave her an apologetic smile and said quietly, "I guess you'll be staying by yourself tonight after all."

Julie glared towards Angel's retreating back and said, "Just the way he wants it I'm sure."

Connor saw his dad's shoulders tense, but that was his only reaction. Connor said to Julie, "I saw you yawn three times already. I'm sure you could use some sleep."

Julie gave him a hug and said, "I'll see you in the morning then before I go to school."

Connor hugged her back. He let her go and said, "I'm gonna go make some coffee and a sandwich. You want anything before bed?"

Julie smiled at him; "I can't believe how much you can eat. Nothing for me thanks, but I'll make the coffee for you before I go to bed."

"That would be nice."

Half an hour later Fred and Wes were done questioning Manny, and knew all there was to know about the ritual, included the pieces needed to make it work. Then they had both headed to bed. Manny was in the basement watching some old movie on Angel's TV while laying in Angel's bed, and Connor and Angel were both sitting in chairs right by the basement door. Connor had eaten his sandwich, and both father and son were now sipping coffee and staring at the basement door. After a few minutes Angel said, "Maybe we should talk about Julie."

Connor leaned back and said, "Maybe we shouldn't."

Angel sat there for a few minutes trying to think of the right way to start a conversation about Julie without upsetting Connor. Then Gunn was shaking him. Angel woke up with a start. He said, "I'm awake! What?"

Angel turned to see Fred shaking Connor. Connor also woke with a start. Angel looked to the basement door and saw that it was open. Gunn said, "What the hell? You guys just fell asleep on watch?"

Angel and Connor both jumped up and raced towards the basement door. Angel got there first and rushed down the stairs. He stopped at the bottom and quietly swore to himself. Angel, Connor, Gunn, and Fred all stood there at the bottom of the stairs and looked at the devastation in the basement. Fred put a hand over her mouth and gave a slight groan of disgust. Manny was in many pieces all over the basement floor. Most of the pieces were too small to recognize. But his head was there. Angel took a few steps over to the head and inspected it. He said, "The top of his head has been cut off, and his scull has been emptied."

Gunn said, "The Beast?"

Connor sniffed the air. "I don't smell him. But….. I don't smell anything. I can't smell myself even."

Connor looked a little panicked, and Angel sniffed the air too. He nodded and said, "Same for me."

Gunn said, "Something is fishy here Angel. Both you and Connor fell asleep on watch. That isn't normal. Fred and I were yelling at you for a solid minute before you woke up, and both of you are light sleepers. And now the two people with the best noses on our team can't smell anything?"

Connor nodded and said, "I don't even remember being tired. I can only remember sitting there for a few minutes before being woken up. What about you Dad?"

Angel nodded too. "Five minutes at most."

Gunn said, "You were both drugged. That's the only thing that makes sense."

Angel nodded in agreement. He turned to Fred and said, "Wake everyone up, and have them meet in the lobby."

Fred nodded and headed up the stairs. Connor said, "Drugged how?"

Angel said, "We both had some of that coffee Julie made right before falling asleep."

Connor glared, "Great! So because Julie doesn't like you, you assume she had something to do with drugging us? She doesn't have anything to do with this mess."

"Calm down Connor, I didn't say it was Julie, maybe it was in the creamer we both used. I'm just saying it's the only thing we consumed that was the same. But then a drug could have been sprayed into the air too. But I'm not ruling Julie out as a suspect either, because everyone here is suspect for now."

Angel turned to Gunn and said, "Let's go get a sample of that coffee."

Gunn shook his head. "Sorry man, Fred and I poured out yesterday's coffee and made some new when we had breakfast about fifteen minutes before we came to relieve you."

Angel shook his head and said, "Damn. Alright, let's just go upstairs and see what everyone has to say."

Soon everyone was standing or sitting in the lobby. Angel said, "Manny is dead, and the orb was removed from his head. I think it's safe to assume that the Beast has all the parts he needs to perform the ritual to blot out the sun."

Wesley said, "How could the Beast have gotten past the two of you?"

"Connor and I were both drugged. It was most likely an inside job."

The people in the lobby looked around at each other. Wesley said, "But who here would want the sun gone?"

Julie looked at Angel and said, "My vote would go to the vampire."

Angel said, "That's funny, because my vote would go to the person who made the coffee."

Julie's eyes got bigger and she said, "You think it was me?"

Connor had been standing beside his dad, but walked over to stand by Julie when he said, "If we're going to be pointing fingers, maybe we should ask ourselves how Gwen knew Ashet, and how she might be connected to the Beast. Gwen is a thief, so she could benefit from there being no sun, and she could protect herself from demons with her electric skin. Everyone has access to the kitchen, so blaming Julie seems kind of far fetched to me."

Gwen glared at Connor and said, "If I had wanted to steal the orb, I wouldn't have helped Gunn get Manny here. I think the fact that I listened to the yucky little man talk for four hours without killing him should be proof enough that I didn't want him dead."

Gunn not liking that Connor had accused Gwen said, "Well if you want to go down that road, where did the Beast first appear, and who does he call by name."

Connor looked hurt and Gunn regretted what he had said.

Wesley said, "I believe the next few hours are going to be crucial if we are going to try and prevent the sun from disappearing. Shouldn't we focus on that rather then bickering amongst ourselves at this point in time?"

Angel nodded and said, "Wes is right. We can worry about how the Beast got the orb later. Right now we have to stop him. Wes, did you and Fred come up with any ideas last night when you talked to Manny?"

Wesley looked to Fred and nodded. Fred sighed and said; "Wes and I discussed this all day yesterday. We think the only way to defeat the beast is by using a portal."

Gunn had been standing next to Fred, but as he heard her, he shook his head thinking about the professor and mumbled, "Just great."

Gunn walked towards the little couch to sit by Gwen. Fred said, "Gunn….", but he ignored her.

Angel nodded and said to Wesley, "A portal sounds like something that actually might work."

Lorne nodded also and said, "Send the big nasty back to the hell sweet hell he came from."

Angel said, "Can the two of you do it?"

"Fred and I should have no problem opening the portal. Getting the Beast to step through it will be up to you."

Angel nodded and said; "It just might work. Good thinking."

Angel said, "Okay we have a plan, but it's obviously dangerous. Gwen, did you want to stay and help us, or are you done here?"

Before Gwen could respond Wesley said, "From what Manny told us, part of what he took from the five totems was metal. If you got a piece of that in your hand, do you think you could melt it?"

"Yeah, I could, but I don't think I'm gonna stay. I'm thinking Tahiti sounds nice right about now."

Gunn said, "What, and pass up the opportunity to be the hero in your own story?"

Gwen gave him a small smile. Gunn continued, "And if you think stealing is an adrenaline rush, try defeating a seven foot tall demon."

Gwen was looking at Gunn as she said, "I guess I could come along."

Gunn nodded in approval. Fred glared at the backs of their heads. Angel said, "Good. How about you Julie? Did you want to come along? It will be dangerous, and I don't know what exactly you could do to help."

Before Julie could say anything Connor said, "You have class don't you? You should go to that. I will feel better, and be less distracted knowing you are safe."

"I have class in half an hour, and I guess I should probably go to that."

Angel noticed that most everyone was still in pajamas, and that he was wearing yesterday's clothes. He said, "All of you get ready to go as quick as you can. We'll met back down here, and then Connor and I will try to track the Beast."

Everyone headed their separate directions to get dressed.

Five minutes later the lobby was deserted when the Beast walked through the front door.

When Connor got to his room, he could tell that Julie had spent the night there instead of her room. He didn't say much as she came in with him and started getting dressed. Julie had taken a shower the night before, and was finished getting dressed when Connor finished taking a quick shower to rinse off. He came out of the bathroom in a towel. He went to her and took a deep breath. He said, "I can smell again. Maybe the shower helped wash something off me."

She kissed him and said, "Good, then you should be able to track that Beast."

He nodded and started to dress quickly, knowing everyone needed to hurry if they were going to stop the Beast. As he was putting on pants Julie said, "You will be careful right? I mean when I get back here tonight, I want you to be alive and well."

Connor pulled on a shirt and said, "I'll do my best."

There was a knock on his door. He rolled his eyes as he walked towards the door and said, "I'm getting ready as fast as I can Da…."

He opened his door and found the Beast on the other side. The Beast said, "Hello Connor."

Connor quickly got over the shock of seeing the Beast at his door. He turned as quick as he could and ran for his far wall where a sword was hanging. As he ran he yelled to Julie, "RUN!"

The Beast didn't even acknowledge Julie, but quickly followed Connor into the room. Connor yanked the sword off the wall and turned to see the Beast coming at him. He also saw out of the corner of his eye that Julie was running for the door, and was almost out the door. Knowing Julie was out of immediate danger, Connor was able to focus on the Beast. He pointed the sword at the Beast's belly and tried to skewer him. The sword didn't penetrate the Beast, and bent under the pressure Connor was putting on it. Connor realized it wasn't working and dropped the sword. He punched the Beast twice in the face, and turned to kick him in the stomach with his bare feet.

The Beast had been watching Connor do these things to him with some amusement. But when Connor kicked him, the Beast grabbed Connor's ankle. The Beast kept a hold of Connor's ankle, and flung Connor's whole body face first into the floor. Then the Beast picked Connor up by the ankle again, and flung his body down to the floor on the other side of him so that Connor landed on his back. The Beast tossed Connor back and forth a couple of more times, and then flung him out the window. The window crashed upon impact, and a dazed Connor fell three floors to land face down on the street below.

The Beast smiled and shut Connor's door. He blockaded it with some furniture, and then got out the things he needed to perform his ritual.

The second Julie got out the door she ran down the hallway yelling, "The Beast is HERE!" and continued down to the lobby.

Gunn and Fred came out of their room, quickly followed by Gwen and Wesley. Wesley looked at Fred and said, "The spell."

Fred and Wesley both took the stairs at a run to get the supplies they needed to open a portal. Gunn looked at Gwen and said, "Weapons. My room."

Gunn and Gwen both ran to Gunn and Fred's room and gathered up a few swords and a crossbow. Lorne appeared in the hallway with his own crossbow, at the same time that Gwen and Gunn came back out. They all turned when they heard Connor's door slam, and then they noticed Angel at the end of the hall by the window.

Angel had been the first back into the lobby, and had heard Julie's scream. He ran up the stairs as Julie was running down. He passed Fred and Wesley who said, "Getting the spell book!"

Angel headed directly to his son's room, but heard the window crash before he got there. He said, "Oh no." and passed Connor's room and went to the window at the end of the hall. He quickly got a glimpse of his son lying on the street not moving before the sunlight made him start to smoke. He darted back away from the window and heard the door to Connor's room slam.

Angel looked back down the hall and saw Gwen, Gunn, and Lorne all looking at him. He said to Lorne, "Connor's out there on the street not moving. Go see if he's okay, and have Julie stay with him if you can."

Lorne nodded and ran down the hall towards the stairs.

Angel held out his hand, and Gunn tossed him a sword. Angel said, "Let's wait for Fred and Wesley before barging in."

Gunn nodded and then said, "Do you think the Beast needed to do this ritual in the place where Connor lives?"

Angel said, "I don't know."

There was a tense silence while the waited.

Downstairs Fred and Wesley were gathering things as quick as they could. Julie was standing in the lobby crying and hugging herself. Lorne ran up to Julie and said, "Connor's hurt. Come with me."

Julie and Lorne ran out the door, and went to the side of the building. Julie and Lorne arrived at the same time. Julie said, "Oh God, Connor can you hear me?"

Lorne helped Julie turn Connor over. Connor's eyes darted around and he said, "The Beast."

Lorne nodded and said, "Your Dad's all over it. Can you move all your parts? Anything broken?"

Connor looked down at himself and moved both feet and arms. "Maybe a rib or two, and my right ankle hurts, but I don't think it's broke."

Julie said, "Your face."

Connor put his hand up and it came away with blood. Lorne took a hanky out of his pocket and gave it to Julie. She held it to the large gash on Connor's forehead. Lorne said, "You kids stay here. I'm gonna go help send this monster back to where it came from."

Connor sat up with help, and Julie helped him move to the curb. Connor held his ribs and said, "I should go help."

Julie said, "Don't be ridiculous, you can barley walk. Let the other's handle it, you would just be in the way."

Connor hated that she was right, and sat with her waiting to see what would happen.

Upstairs Lorne arrived just as Fred and Wesley said in unison, "We're ready."

Angel tried the door. Nothing happened. He pushed with all his strength, and the door slowly opened wide enough for him to squeeze through. The Beast saw him, but ignored him and kept chanting. Angel pushed the bed that was blocking the door out of the way, and everyone piled into the room.

The Beast had drawn a large circle in the center of the room with some wavy triangles all around it. It looked like a representation of the sun. The Beast was kneeling in the center of the circle, and had two metal pieces that he had taken from Ashet and Semkhet side by side with the small glass orb he had taken from Manjet in the middle of them. The Beast opened his mouth and the black energy he had sucked out of Masektet at Wolfram and Hart went into the glass orb turning it black. Then the Beast reached behind him and picked up the heart he had taken from Ma'at. He dripped some of the heart's blood onto the orb and kept chanting.

Fred and Wesley started some chanting of their own and Angel went to the Beast to attack. The Beast kept chanting but stood to meet Angel's attack blow by blow. Gwen crouched down and tried to sneak by the Beast to get her hands on one of the metal pieces, but the Beast was quick and kicked her in the side as she got close to him. She went flying against the wall and landed in a heap. All the while the Beast was still blocking all of Angel's blows and chanting.

The Beast knocked Angel back and Gunn took his place fighting hand to hand with the Beast. He was quickly tossed aside. Then finally Fred and Wesley's portal opened up behind the Beast. Angel saw it and used all of his strength and then some to kick the Beast backwards into the portal. The portal closed up, and the Beast was gone.

The room grew silent. Gunn went to help Gwen stand. Fred looked around and said, "Did we do it? Is he gone?"

Angel smiled and said, "I think….."

Angel heard a noise behind him and turned to see the Beast standing there in Connor's doorway. The Beast walked to the center of the circle again and said conversationally, "You know Angelus, you need not be my enemy. Join me as I asked you to before."

The entire room was stunned into silence. The Beast bent down and grabbed the now black orb and put it in his mouth. The Beast turned to look at Angel one more time and jumped out Connor's window.

Wesley said, "Angelus?"

Angel said more to himself then anyone else. "How does he know me? I don't remember him. I would remember someone like him."

Fred said, "The answer is among you."

Wesley nodded and said, "It's not Connor, or anyone else, it's Angelus."

Gunn had looked out the window to see Connor kick the Beast and said, "Angel, Connor's out there fighting it."

Angel walked as close to the window as he could without getting in the direct sun and yelled, "Connor! Get back in the hotel right now!"

Gunn shook his head and said, "No good. He's still after it."

Angel noticed it was getting dimmer out. Gunn said, "Want me to try and catch up to him?"

Angel shook his head. "If Connor's unwilling, he would just shove you away and maybe get you hurt. From the looks of things, the sun will be gone in a few more seconds. I'll go get him."

Wesley said, "Angel….."

Angel held up his hand and said, "One crisis at a time Wes. Once Connor's back, we'll talk."

Outside Connor asked Julie, "What is it like when you pass out? Don't things get darker?"

Connor and Julie both looked up towards the sun at the same time. They could see little black threads crawling along the sun and covering it. Julie said, "Oh no. Please no."

Connor jumped to his feet when there was a loud thud behind him on the sidewalk. He turned to see the Beast standing on the cement he had just cracked with his landing. Connor said with hatred, "You. You did this."

The Beast turned and started walking down the sidewalk. Connor gave a feral yell and lunged after the Beast. Julie tried to hold onto his hand, but he yanked it away. She yelled, "Connor no!"

Connor kicked the Beast's back with both feet, and gave a yell as he made his ankle worse. The Beast kept walking without even turning around. Connor yelled, "Why? Why are you doing this? Hundreds of people will die!"

He heard Angel yell from the shadows of his room three floors up, "Connor! Get back in the hotel right now!"

Connor ignored him, and he ignored the pain in his ankle as he followed the Beast. He continued his assault to the Beast's back. He kicked and punched the Beast multiple times, all the while getting weaker from the pain in his side and ankle. Two blocks away the Beast suddenly stopped walking, and turned to face Connor. He grabbed Connor by the throat. Connor gasped for air and the Beast said, "Do you really trust him?"

The Beast tossed Connor away, and he landed against a metal dumpster before falling to the pavement. Connor lay there breathing hard and trying not to let the pain in his right ankle overpower him. He looked up and noticed the sun was almost completely gone. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and tried not to cry about the fact that they had all failed.

A few minutes later it was dark out, and the sun was no more. Then Angel was kneeling down in front of Connor. Angel put a hand on the side of his face and said, "Connor?"

Connor looked up at Angel and said, "We failed Dad. The sun…."

Angel nodded and said, "I know. Can you stand?"

Connor wiped a few stray tears off his face and nodded. Angel helped him stand up, and they started towards the hotel. Angel noticed that Connor was limping and said, "Put your arm over my shoulders, and I'll help, so you can keep the weight off your leg."

Connor said, "I'm fine."

"Put your arm over my shoulder, or I'll toss you over my shoulder to carry you home, the same way I have more then once."

Connor reluctantly put his arm over Angel's shoulder, and Angel put his arm around Connor's waist to help hold most of his weight as they walked back to the hotel. Julie met them halfway there and stood on the other side of Connor. She said, "What were you thinking Connor? The Beast could have killed you."

Connor said, "I guess I wasn't thinking much. I was just angry."

Julie asked, "Angry?"

"That we failed, that the Beast is so connected to me that he did his ritual in _my_ room, that the sun is gone and I was helpless to stop it, and that hundreds of people will die because of my failure."

Angel stopped walking, took his arm away from Connor's waist and swatted him once. Connor already holding in his reaction to the pain in his side and ankle only flinched and sucked in some air.

Julie said, "He's injured you asshole!"

Angel gave her a glare and said with anger, "Yeah, inside and out. Do you only see the physical injuries?"

Connor said, "Hey, stop talking about me like I'm not here you guys."

Angel put his arm back around Connor's waist and started them walking as he said, "You are not the center of the universe son. If people die because the sun is gone, it won't be your fault. And you didn't personally fail today, the team failed all together, but we all did our best, and that's all we can do. And you haven't even heard the best part yet."

Connor gave Angel a weary look expecting some bad humor. Angel said, "The Beast knows Angelus."

Connor looked confused. "Angelus?"

"Looks like you're off the hook. The Beast has a connection to me, not a connection to you. Do you understand me? Me, not you."

Julie muttered, "Figures."

Connor kept his mouth shut thinking the rest of the way back to the hotel.

They walked in the door and Fred walked over to Connor and said, "If you were anyone else, you'd need stitches for your forehead. Come on in the bathroom, and I'll put some of those butterfly Band-Aids on it."

Angel said, "His ankle is sprained or broken. Could you bring the stuff out here, and I'll get him sat down."

Fred nodded and went to get the stuff. Gunn was sitting on the round couch, and Angel helped Connor walk over and sit next to Gunn. Gunn said, "Did your ankle get hurt before or after you chased the Beast down the road?"

Connor looked down and mumbled, "Before."

Gunn shook his head. "So you basically made it worse after it was already injured."

"I guess."

Gunn said, "I know you're a smart kid Connor, but sometimes it seems like you don't use the sense God gave you. What were you thinking?"

Connor, having answered this question once already, was more prepared this time. "I wasn't thinking. It was stupid, I know, but I was just mad about the whole situation, and I couldn't help myself."

Fred was back and started washing up his face with some cool water. Angel picked up Connor's lower leg and pushed his pant leg up to inspect the ankle. Angel said, "You're lucky none of the glass from the window got stuck in the bottoms of your feet."

Angel tested the movement of the foot and noticed Connor tense up with pain. Angel said, "Not broken, but it's a bad sprain. I would guess two days to heal. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

Connor lifted his shirt and pointed to an area on his ribs. Angel said, "Are they broken?"

"I'm not sure."

Angel said, "I'm gonna check. It will hurt."

Connor nodded and got ready. Angel tested the ribs to see what kind of damage there was. Angel sighed and said, "Just bruised I think. I'm guessing two days for that too. We still have some of that pain medication from the last time your ribs were broken don't we?"

Connor groaned and said, "I hated that stuff."

"Yeah, but it worked and you know it. Fred, when you put the first aid kit away, could you get him one of those pills?"

Fred nodded as she put the last band-aide on Connor's forehead. Angel had been kneeling down next to Connor, but now stood and started pacing, "Okay Wes that crisis is done, so let's hear it."

Julie who had been standing a few feet away watching everyone now went to sit next to Connor and put her hand on his lower thigh in comfort. Wesley said, "The Beast knows you. Obviously Masektet was talking about you being the answer among us."

Angel shook his head. "Trust me Wes. I remember it all. There are things that keep me up at night because I'm cursed to remember them. I don't remember this Beast, and I'm pretty sure he would have made an impression on me."

Wesley said, "Yes, but how do you know that Angelus doesn't remember him?"

"What? Are you forgetting that we share the same brain Wes? We share the same memories. I know what he knows and vice versa."

"Maybe not."

Angel was getting frustrated. He crossed his arms and said, "Then why don't you tell me about it."

Fred came back into the room from putting the first aid kit away and handed Connor a pill and a glass of water. Then she went to stand between Gunn and Wesley.

Wesley said, "Let's look at the facts shall we? Masektet was warning us that one of us was the key to our connection to the Beast. He knows your name, and the name of your son. You said yourself that your being drugged this morning was an inside job. And the Beast performed his ritual here in the hotel you own. What if the Beast has a way of controlling you through means of hypnosis or a spell? What if he can bring Angelus out? These are things we need to consider."

Angel said, "Well, even if it's true I don't see how I can help, because I don't remember him."

Wesley stood and said, "We need Angelus."

Angel said, "You've got to be joking."

Wesley shook his head no. "I'm quite serious."

Gunn said sarcastically, "Yeah, because one super strong bad guy running around isn't enough for you."

Wesley said, "We could set up a safe controlled environment."

Angel said, "Even if we could, how do you propose getting rid of my soul? Perfect happiness is looking pretty distant with the city in total darkness."

Wesley looked at Fred and said, "I'm sure we could find a way."

Fred nodded, "I'm sure we could figure it out."

Fred noticed Gunn looking unhappy and said, "Not that I think that's the right thing to do. I guess that's up to Angel to decide."

Gwen, who had been silent during this talk, stood and said, "Well, this has been fun and all, but I'm thinking I want to get out of this city tonight. Maybe a trip to Europe is in order until the sun is back to full shine."

She turned to Gunn and said, "Thanks for the trip. I had a good time."

Gunn said, "Me too. Are you sure you want to go? I'm sure we could use your help."

Gwen shook her head. "I've fought with Angel when he was being nice. I don't plan to be around when he's evil. And we saw how that hero thing worked out for me a few minutes ago. But I do appreciate the opportunity to try."

Angel said, "Thanks for sticking around and helping Gwen. You should be pretty safe getting home to pack. Most of the vampires will be asleep this time of the morning, and won't know the sun is even gone yet."

Gwen nodded and said, "Bye everyone."

Everyone piped up with his or her good byes, and Gwen walked out the front door. Lorne was standing next to Gunn and said quietly, "Don't look so glum. She'll be back sooner then you think."

Gunn was surprised how happy that statement made him. Angel said, "Look Wes, I can understand why you might think this is the best idea, but I'm not convinced. For now why don't you and Fred do some research and see if you can find out how to reverse this spell that the Beast did. Lorne, you man the phones, because I'm sure we'll be getting calls very soon. Give people common advice, and try to convince them to stay in their houses. I'll go to help the urgent calls, and work on cleaning up Manny from the basement. Gunn, why don't you drive Julie home, and…"

Connor said, "NO!"

Angel said, "What?"

"It isn't save out there. Julie needs to stay here where we can protect her until the sun comes back."

"Well first we should see what Julie wants to do. Second we should consider how safe she really is here, when the Beast has shown up here and obviously knows both of us. And third, as I was saying before you interrupted, if she wants to pack up some of her stuff, Gunn can bring her back over here and even stop at school with her to see what they are doing about classes first."

Connor looked down sheepishly and said, "Oh."

Julie looked at Angel and then looked at Connor. She said, "I….. I guess I could stay here for a few days."

Angel said, "There's just one condition. You have to try and be civil towards me."

Julie glared at him and said unconvincingly, "I'll try."

Angel said, "Needs some work." Angel turned his attention to Connor and said, "Connor, you need to stay off that foot if you want your ankle to heal fast, so take that pill that you're trying to hide in your hand. Then I'll carry you to your room where you can lie on your bed for most of the day."

Connor said, "But I…."

"No, I don't even want to hear it. After you're settled on your bed, I'll bring you some breakfast, and then you can start some studying. But unless the Beast shows up in your room again, you are not getting up today. And we'll have to get you a makeshift crutch or cane to use when you need to go to the bathroom so you can stay off your ankle entirely."

Angel looked around the room and said, "Any questions?"

Fred and Wesley headed to the back room, Lorne went to sit at the front counter, and Gunn walked over to Julie and said, "You got everything you need to take?"

Julie nodded. She gave Connor a quick kiss, and got up to follow Gunn out the door. Angel and Connor regarded each other. Angel said, "Take it."

Connor put the pill in his mouth and drank the water. Angel took the glass from him and went to set it on the counter. He went back to Connor and leaned down to pick him up. Connor said, "Couldn't I just lean on you again?"

Angel picked Connor up and settled him bottom up over his left shoulder. Connor groaned, mostly in embarrassment. Angel said, "It's easier and quicker this way. Besides, it brings back old memories."

"Not good ones."

Angel laughed in spite of everything that was going on and said, "And who's fault is that?" 

Connor wasn't exactly joking, but wasn't all that serious either as he said, "Yours, because you keep carrying me this way!"

Angel started up the stairs and said, "I'll try to keep that in mind next time."

Connor sighed hoping there wouldn't be a next time. Soon they were upstairs in Connor's bedroom, and Angel kicked the door shut behind him. He walked over to the bed, but instead of setting Connor down he sat down himself and shifted Connor so he was over his lap. Connor groaned again, more loudly this time knowing what was coming. Angel said, "I know you heard me tell you to come back into the hotel. Want to tell me why you didn't?"

"You know why Dad."

"Because you were angry, and because you felt hopeless watching the sun disappear."

"Yes."

"But when you hear me yell at you to do something, that should override pretty much everything else. We've gone over this before."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Angel raised his hand and then thought about what Julie had said. Angel said, "If you want, I could wait for a couple of days before I spank you, to give you a chance to heal first."

Connor was in pain already, and laying over Angel's lap was hurting his ribs, but he knew Julie was gone, and he didn't want to lay on his bed for two days dreading what would happen. He whispered, "No."

Angel thought for a second and said, "Or, since you know what you did was wrong, I guess I could try grounding you. We could say no going on cases or helping with research for a week."

Connor struggled to look back at Angel and said loudly, "No! That would kill me Dad. To know the Beast was out there, and you were all trying to find a way to kill it, but not letting me help. I couldn't take that. I just….. I couldn't."

Angel nodded in understanding and said, "Okay."

Angel brought his hand down with a loud smack on the back of Connor's jeans. Connor grunted from the feeling of the first swat, and before his breath was all the way out, the second swat had landed. Angel spanked him hard and fast, and Connor was very soon trying to wiggle away from Angel's hand.

After twenty swats Angel paused and said, "You need to do what I tell you to do Connor. Going after the Beast by yourself was not a good idea. You ended up causing yourself further injury because of it, and the Beast could have killed you. In fact, if you had made him angry, he could have come back here and tried to kill all of us."

Connor listened to Angel while breathing hard and willing the sting in his butt to go away. But by the time Angel was done with his speech, Connor was having a hard time not crying. Angel started spanking again and Connor cried out at the first swat. Five swats later the tears started, and five swats after that Connor got out, "I…. really am…. sorry Dad!"

Angel gave him a few more swats that were harder then the rest, and then stopped. Connor realized the spanking was over and wiped at his face and tried to stop crying. Angel rubbed his back for a minute, and then gently flipped Connor over and picked him up again, this time with one arm behind Connor's back and one arm behind Connor's knees. Angel said, "Is this a better way to pick you up?"

Connor just shook his head no and wiped at some of the tears that refused to stop. Angel set Connor down on his bed and Connor rolled onto his side. Angel sat down beside Connor's back, and gently rubbed his back and shoulders until Connor was more relaxed and finished crying. Angel said, "You know I love you right?"

Connor nodded. Angel said, "I'm gonna go get something for you to eat, and I'll bring you some of your textbooks."

Connor nodded again. Angel got up and headed out to get his son settled for the morning.


	21. Chapter 21

**Authors Note: I just realized when I first posted this to from my website, I somehow missed quite a few chapters in the middle. This is because the chapters on my website are much longer than the ones on , and also because apparently I'm an idiot. Thank you to V.L. Crawford for pointing this out to me, so I could fix it. Sorry to everyone for the chapter spam today – there's no new chapter yet – just fixing the old ones on this site. This chapter has spoilers for the episode "Awakening"**

How it Should Have Been Chapter 21

The sun had disappeared early in the morning. By the afternoon Wesley and Fred had found nothing new on the ritual that the Beast had done, and were of the opinion that the only way to get the sun back was to kill the Beast. But since they had been trying to figure out how to do that for the past week, they weren't very hopeful. Finally Wesley said he was going to go home and gather some of his books.

Connor started the morning studying, but soon fell asleep due to the pain medication. He woke up groggy when he felt his bed dip. He looked to see Julie sitting next to him. He smiled at her. She reached out and brushed the hair out of his eyes and mumbled, "Hey, how's the ankle?"

Connor looked down at his ankle and moved it a little. He said, "Still hurts, but not as bad."

"Good."

"Did you bring over some stuff?"

Julie nodded. "My bag's in the room next door."

"Did you stop by school?" 

"Classes are canceled until the sun comes back."

Connor sat up and winced slightly. Julie saw it and said, "Maybe you should take another pain killer for your ankle." 

Connor just shook his head no, not wanting to bring up the real reason he was wincing. He put his hands on her face and pulled her into a kiss. When he let her go he said softly, "I'm glad you're staying here with me."

She leaned in to kiss him again. They heard someone clearing his throat. Connor had heard Gunn coming for a while and didn't stop. But Julie jumped at the sound and pulled away from Connor. Gunn said, "Sorry to break up the party, but I'm here to do some tutoring with Connor."

Julie said, "Can I stay? I might be able to help."

Connor didn't really like the idea of his girlfriend trying to tutor him. He wasn't sure why. He knew she had more schooling then him, but it just seemed wrong. Gunn saw Connor thinking, and was pretty sure he knew what was going through his head. Gunn looked at Julie and said, "Actually Fred was hoping you could help her with the research. Wes went to go get some other books, so she could use the help."

Julie looked slightly disappointed but nodded and said, "Okay. See you two later then."

Once Julie was gone Connor lay back down and said, "Thanks."

Gunn put a few books down on Connor's bed and pulled Connor's desk chair over. Gunn sat down next to the bed and said, "Why didn't you want her here?"

Connor thought about it for a minute. He said, "I guess because I don't want her to know how much smarter she is then me."

Gunn shook his head and thought for a minute. He finally said, "Fred is like a gazillion times smarter then me when it comes to books. But there are different ways to be smart Connor. Julie may know more about things they teach in school, but you know so much more about fighting and demon hunting, that it would take her a lifetime to learn it all. So don't sell yourself short."

Connor shrugged, "I guess, but I still don't want her to know."

Gunn rolled his eyes and said, "Stubborn."

Connor gave him a lop sided grin and said, "Yep."

Lorne had spent the morning taking a few calls, but mostly watching the news coverage for any new developments. Angel spent the morning cleaning up Manny from his basement and getting updates from Lorne every time he went through the lobby with another full garbage bag to take out to the dumpster.

When the basement was almost clean, Gunn and Julie came back. Angel noticed that Julie had a bag with her and said, "You can have the room next to Connor's."

Julie nodded. Angel turned to Gunn and said, "Could you do some tutoring with Connor?"

"Sure."

Angel watched both of them go up the stairs. He finished up in the basement, and then couldn't help himself any longer. He went out and took a walk. It felt so strange to be out in the middle of the day. He hadn't done that since he was wearing the ring of Amarra. He shook his head at that thought. Really the last time he had walked in the sun was with Buffy on the beach. He had been made human and was able to spend a whole day with her. But he preferred to think of that day as a dream, because remembering it was real hurt too much. Especially when he knew Buffy didn't have the same memories. Angel decided he had had enough walking during the day, as a dark mood settled over him, and he headed back to the hotel. He ruefully thought that he didn't even have Cordelia back at the hotel to improve his mood. Then he saw a vampire. It was lurking next to a manhole, and looking around up at the sun.

Angel called out to him, "Hey buddy! It's all right, come on out. The humans can't stop us now."

The vampire smiled and nodded. He walked over to Angel and said, "Do you know how…."

Angel staked him and walked back over to the manhole. He saw three more pairs of eyes looking up at him. He jumped down and staked two of them before they had time to react. Angel grabbed the last vampire by the shirt and pulled him close so they were nose to nose. Angel said, "Tell all your little friends, that the sun will be back to it's full _burning_ brightness by this evening, so unless you want a tan, I'd stay under ground."

Angel shoved the vampire away, and jumped out of the manhole. He put the cover back on the hole and walked quickly back to the hotel. He hoped his threat would work for a day or so, but it might not work at all. If they didn't get the sun back soon, they would have to take turns at patrolling, and even that wouldn't do much when it came to the big picture.

It was mid afternoon when Angel got back to the hotel. When he opened the hotel door he saw that Julie and Fred were both in the lobby looking at books. He asked Lorne, "Any bad calls yet?"

"Just the one trying to consolidate our debt."

"I saw a vampire out on the street."

Fred said, "They've started coming out?"

"I staked him along with two others, and then I warned the last one that the sun would be back by tonight."

Lorne asked, "You know something we don't big guy?"

"I was improvising."

Fred said, "It might work for today, but they'll be out tonight, and I doubt they'll go home in the morning."

Julie said, "So what are we going to do?"

Angel sighed. "We need to set up patrols to keep the number of vampires down."

Lorne said, "You want me to go get Connor and Gunn?"

Before Angel could answer, Julie asked Lorne, "What about you? Do you patrol?"

"I'm more of a hold down the fort kind of demon."

Angel gave Lorne an intense look, which caused Lorne to say, "What? Is the tie too much with this suit?"

Angel shook his head at his own stupidity. "No, you're not just a hold down the fort kind of demon, you're the kind of demon who might have the answers to this whole thing."

Lorne shook his head, "No way am I reading Broody Jr. again. Do you remember what happened last time?"

"Not Connor, me."

Lorne thought about that for a second. Angel continued, "Don't you see? Maybe when I'm singing you can read me and see what we need to do to kill the Beast. If the answer is in me, but I can't remember it, then maybe you can get it out of me."

Lorne slowly nodded and said, "I guess it's worth a try."

Angel said, "Great. My office?"

Lorne got up and walked towards the office. Before the door closed, Lorne said, "Just please, no Manilow."

Angel pouted as he closed the door. Once they were gone Julie turned to Fred and asked, "What does Lorne mean about reading Connor?"

Fred went into an explanation. Ten minutes later Lorne and Angel came out of his office with long faces. Fred asked, "No luck?"

Lorne shook his head. Angel said, "I'm gonna go get Connor and Gunn. We need to come up with a plan for damage control if nothing else."

A few minutes later Angel and Gunn brought Connor downstairs. Connor had an arm around both men, and was being supported between them so that he didn't have to use his ankle. Soon Connor and Julie were sitting together on the round couch, while Fred, Gunn, and Lorne all stood by the counter. Angel paced around the lobby and started.

"I've already seen one vampire, and by tonight I think things are going to be pretty crazy out there with demons running amok….."

Julie said, "Just the way you like it."

Angel crossed his arms and walked right up to Julie. He said, "What was that Julie? You have something to say?"

Julie glared back and said, "Yeah I do. I don't know what's wrong with all of you. Why are you listening to him, when you know he could be in league with the Beast? Connor has felt guilty this whole time thinking he was the reason the world was going to hell when in reality it's been Angel all along."

Connor shook his head and said, "Julie…."

Angel said, "It's okay Connor. Let her say what she's thinking."

Julie said, "Angel's the reason the sun is gone. Angel's the reason your lives are in danger every other day. Angel's the reason all those people out there are going to die. How can you all trust someone who beats his child?"

Connor got bright red at that comment and looked at the ground. Angel glared at her and said the first thing that came to his mind, "If you aren't careful I'll show you the difference between a beating and a spanking."

Then Connor was between them, facing off with his father in a fighting stance. Connor was deadly serious. "You don't touch her. Ever."

Angel sighed and shook his head. He said, "Get off your ankle Connor, I'm just tired and irritated. I wasn't serious."

Connor didn't sit down and said, "I was."

Angel glared and said, "You really want to do this right now? You can't win even when you're up to full health, so what exactly are you planning to accomplish? Or did you just want to get spanked in front of everyone."

Julie stood up and put a hand on Connor's arm. She said, "Connor."

Connor took a step back and sat down on the couch, and Julie followed suit. Angel ran a hand through his hair. He said, "How can I convince you that I'm not working for the Beast? I'm out of ideas."

Wesley walked through the front door at that point. Right behind him was an oriental man dressed all in red robes with nothing showing except his eyes and hands. Wesley said, "I have a plan."

Everyone looked up at him. Wesley said, "I'd like to introduce you all to Wo Pang. He's a shaman in the order of the Kun-Sun-Dai. He says he can bring us Angelus."

Angel gave a big fake smile and said, "Wes, can I talk to you in the office for a moment?"

Wesley started that way and asked Fred, "Could you get our guest some tea while he waits?"

Fred nodded and led Wo Pang to the kitchen. Angel waited for Wesley to get in the office and then shut the door behind them. Angel was obviously upset when he said, "You brought a dark mystic into my house?"

Wesley sighed. "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Just having him here is dangerous Wesley."

"We need Angelus."

"No we don't."

"We can take precautions. Contain you. He assures me that he can remove your soul. And he claims he can contain it in a vessel until we are ready for him to put it back."

"Even if this guy could do what he claims he can do, it doesn't matter. Unleashing Angelus in the middle of this huge mess is the worst possible thing we could do."

"I know that Angelus is…."

Angel interrupted, "NO. You don't know Angelus. You've never had the pleasure of his company. The part I don't think you understand is that if he's here, then I'm not, and that means I can't protect any of you from him."

"Are you sure you aren't letting your fear get the better of you?"

"Hell yes I am. You should too."

"Manjet said, 'The answer is among you', but really the answer is in you Angel. In Angelus. We need him to find out how to kill this thing, and the sooner the better."

"You seem to think that Angelus will help you. Do you think he's just gonna give up information? He would rather see the world end then help any of you."

Wesley got angry. "Do you have a better idea Angel? Do you have any new ideas? Because I have to tell you I don't. Between Fred and myself you have two of the most knowledgeable people in the field, and we're at a loss as to do what to do next. Time is of the essence with the sun blocked. If there's even a ten percent chance that this will help, shouldn't we give it a go?"

Angel looked away from Wesley. He looked out his window at the people in the lobby. The people he loved. The people Angelus would happily eat. Angel looked back at Wesley and gave a barley perceptible nod. He opened his office door and said to everyone, "We're gonna need a cage. Eight by eight by ten with re-enforced steel bars set at three-inch intervals. We need to build it in the basement, and we need to build it tonight."

Angel walked past everyone and out the hotel door.

Gunn said, "I don't think that will hold the Beast."

Wesley said, "It's not for the Beast. It's for him."

Everyone in the room was quiet for a few seconds, and then Connor stood up. He started towards the front door. Gunn caught up to him and said, "Hey, you're staying off the ankle right?"

Connor opened his mouth to protest, and then Gunn smiled and leaned down a little. Connor nodded sheepishly and put his arm around Gunn's shoulders. Gunn put an arm around Connor's waist and helped him hop out the door. Gunn got him to the bench where Angel was sitting, and then turned around to go back into the hotel. Connor and Angel sat there in silence for a few seconds. Then Connor said, "Hey Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

Angel looked over at Connor. "What for?"

Connor sighed and though about it while looking at the ground in front of him. "I meant what I said. I'll fight you if you try to hurt her, even if all I can accomplish is giving her time to run. But I'm sorry that I thought you really would hurt her."

Angel put his arm around Connor's shoulders and kissed the top of his head. Connor gave Angel a questioning look, and asked, "What was that for?"

Angel shrugged. "For realizing that I wouldn't hurt her? For trying to protect the woman you're involved with? For coming out here to talk to me? Maybe it was just for me. Of all the things I've seen during my time on this earth, in a lot of ways Angelus scares me the most."

Angel surprised Connor by pulling him into a tight hug. So tight it hurt. After a few seconds Angel whispered, "Remember he's not me."

Angel let go abruptly and stood up. He said, "Let's go back and get started on a cage."

Connor nodded and let Angel help him hop back into the lobby.

By midnight it was done. Everyone had worked hard on it, and people were tired. Wo Pang had gone home after finding out it was going to take hours to get preparations ready, and agreed to come back when they called him. Angel walked around the cage and examined it for any weak spots. When he was satisfied that it would actually hold him he nodded and said, "Good. I think we're ready."

Wesley said, "I'll call Wo Pang."

Angel shook his head. "We're all tired. Let's get some rest, and do it first thing in the morning."

Wesley shook his head. "We need to do it now. The longer the sun is gone, the more people die."

Angel looked at the cage for a few seconds. Then he said, "I guess it's selfish of me, but I need to be sure that the people I love are safe first. If you are going to meet Angelus, I want you all well rested and at the top of your game. You're gonna need to be. So we wait for morning."

It was obvious that Wesley didn't agree, but before he could say anything Gunn turned towards the stars and pulled Fred with him as he said, "I'm ready for some sleep. Night everyone."

Fred gave Wesley an apologetic look and waved at everyone else while saying, "Sleep good."

Wesley got out his cell phone and asked Wo Pang to arrive at the hotel the next morning at nine.

Everyone headed towards the stairs and to bed. Angel helped Connor get upstairs and settled, and then brought him another painkiller. An hour after everyone had gone to bed; Julie came in and climbed in bed with Connor. He opened his eyes long enough to see who it was, put an arm around her, and then fell back to sleep.

The next morning at breakfast Angel checked Connor's ankle, and they both thought it should be healed by the end of the day if Connor stayed off it. After breakfast Angel pulled Gunn aside and said, "When I'm Angelus, especially if something goes wrong with our plan, I….. I want you to look after Connor."

Gunn nodded and said, "You got it."

"And if something really goes wrong I want you to make sure he gets that GED."

"You don't even have to ask man. I'm down with the whole Connor plan, and I think he's mature enough now to let me be there for him if you're not."

Angel smiled and said, "Let's find out."

Angel walked over to where Connor and Julie were sitting at the table. Angel said, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Connor nodded and got up. He used the makeshift crutch that Wesley had made for him to follow Angel out to the lobby. Once they were alone Angel said, "I don't want you to be there. I don't want you to watch, and have the chance to talk with Angelus. But at the same time I need you to be there in case something goes wrong, you're the only one who even has a chance at fighting me. You can't trust him, and most things he tells you will be lies, but he hides his lies in just enough truth that they seem real."

Connor put a hand on Angel's shoulder and said seriously, "I understand."

Angel didn't think Connor actually did, but he appreciated that he was trying. Angel said, "And one more thing."

Connor nodded. Angel said, "If things go wrong…. I'm going to need you to kill me."

Connor let go of Angel and his mind raced. He had been raised to kill Angelus. It had been the highest attainable goal for most of his life. He looked at Angel and slowly nodded. Angel said, "I know it's a hard thing to ask, but maybe it will be easier since you know it's what I would want."

Connor shook his head. "Didn't make it easier to cut off Father's head."

"What?"

Connor thought about it and realized he hadn't told Angel about that. He looked off into the distance said, "When I thought you had killed Holtz, I wasn't sure if you had changed him or not. He taught me what to do, and I knew it was what he wanted me to do in that situation. But….. That didn't make it easy….. And as it turned out it was unnecessary…."

Angel gave Connor a hug and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Connor said, "Holtz knew what I would do. It was expected. I know that sometimes I…. Well I don't listen to you like you want me to, and sometimes I do things that might be reckless. But I can and will do what needs to be done if Angelus is on the loose and hurting people. You can count on me for that."

Angel let him go and looked into his eyes when he said, "I know I can Connor. Thank you."

Angel looked around and saw Gunn across the lobby. He called him, and Gunn came over. Angel said, "I want both of you to know that if something happens to me, I expect Connor to still get his GED."

Angel looked at Connor and said, "When I'm out of commission Wesley will be in charge of what goes on with the business, but Gunn is in charge of you."

Connor glared and said, "What! You just said you could count on me, and that you wanted me to be responsible for killing you if you got loose. What the hell do you mean Gunn is in charge of me?"

Angel said, "I mean I expect you to listen to him and do what he tells you to do, especially when it comes to studying, until your year is up. And if you do something wrong while I'm not myself, it will be up to Gunn to decide on an appropriate punishment."

Connor gave his dad a familiar look of hate. "Whatever Dad. Either you can count on me, which makes me an adult, or you can't and I'm a child. Which way is it?"

Angel said, "It's both. I expect to be able to count on you, but at the same time I know you're still relatively new to this place, and you don't always know what the right thing to do is. I promised you a year, and that's what it will be whether I'm here or not. I know you're stronger then Gunn and that it would be very difficult for him to make you do something that you didn't want to do. In fact you could be completely out of control without me around, but I'm telling you now that you're not going to be."

Connor glared daggers at his father and Gunn put a hand on Connor's shoulder to get his attention. Gunn said, "What's the problem? It's not going to be that much different from the way things are now. This whole thing should be over by the end of the day, so let's not even worry about it right now. Unless you're planning on going off to do something stupid the second Angel is in the cage, we shouldn't have any issues."

Connor thought about it for a second and slowly nodded. He said, "I guess you're right."

Gunn teased, "That's right I am. Now you just keep saying that for the rest of the day."

Connor rolled his eyes. Then everyone in the room turned to look at the front door of the hotel because Wo Pang had arrived.

Fifteen minutes later everyone was down in the basement, and Angel had been strapped to a table inside the cage. Angel was on his back with his arms and legs strapped to the table, along with two straps around his chest. Wo Pang went in and closed the cage door behind him. Wesley put on the lock, and everyone watched while Wo Pang started his ritual.

Wo Pang went to stand by Angel's head. He put a hand over Angel's forehead with his thumb and index finger touching both of Angel's temples. Wo Pang started chanting and Angel closed his eyes. When Angel's eyes were closed, Wo Pang's eyes turned red, and his chanting got louder. Then Wo Pang leaned down to Angel's ear and said, "Say good night."

Angel opened his eyes in time to see Wo Pang reach under his cloak to grab a decorative dagger. Wo Pang raised the dagger up over his head and started to plunge it down towards Angel's neck. Angel used every ounce of strength he had to break the strap that was holding down his right arm. He grabbed Wo Pang's wrist and halted the knife just as it touched his skin. Angel called out, "A little help here!"

Wesley was working on the lock and yelled, "What are you doing?"

Wo Pang kept trying to push the dagger down and said, "Did you really think I would go against The Awakened One to help you? Fools!"

Wesley soon had the lock undone and ran in. He pushed Wo Pang as hard as he could, and Wo Pang stumbled back into the bars. Wesley went after him punching and kicking while trying to avoid the dagger. Angel used his free arm to unstrap his other arm, and Connor had arrived to undo his legs. Wo Pang had maneuvered himself out of the cage and was now being surrounded by everyone else in the room. Angel walked over to Wo Pang and said, "Tell me what The Beast's plan is, and I might let you go."

Wo Pang raised his dagger, and stabbed himself in the heart. Everyone looked on as Wo Pang fell and died. Angel said, "Or not."

Connor said, "What a waste of time! We took all that time to build this cage for nothing, and I'm sure the vampires are out on the streets by now."

Angel sighed and nodded. "You're right."

Wesley sighed also and said, "I'm sorry Angel. I suppose it wasn't the best thought out plan I've ever had."

Angel patted Wesley's shoulder and said, "It's okay Wes. I agreed with you on this one too. Let's see if he has anything on him that will give us some information on the Beast or what his plan is."

Gunn started to search Wo Pang, and as soon as he pulled the cloak away from Wo Pang's head Gunn said, "I found a lot of something on him."

Gunn continued to unwrap Wo Pang and found that the man's entire body was covered with tattoos in some writing he couldn't read. Wesley got down to look too. After a few seconds Angel said, "Can you read it?"

Wesley nodded and said, "It's Chinese. Let's get him up on the table, and get some more light in here, and I'll see what it says."

It took close to half an hour to get all of the body read. When Wesley had read it all and taken some notes about it he turned to the waiting group. He said, "Well Wo Pang was definitely an acolyte of the Beast. Most of the writings on him are about the history of the Kun-Sun-Dai."

Fred said, "No wonder we couldn't find anything about the Beast. These people are walking around with it on their skin."

Wesley nodded in agreement. Angel said, "Anything that will help us?"

Wesley got his notes and said, "Yes there is a long passage about an opposing group from the third century called the Bosh M'ad. They apparently created something called the 'Tooth of Light'."

Gunn looked confused and said, "Why a tooth?"

"I doubt it's a literal tooth. My guess would be that it is some kind of dagger or weapon."

Connor said, "Does it say where it is, or how we can get it?"

Wesley shook his head. "Unfortunately no."

Angel said, "Well it's a start. Now that we know more of what we're looking for, Wes and Fred can try to find information about the Bosh M'ad. Maybe that will lead us to the location of this weapon."

Fred was about to ask Wesley which books he wanted to start with, but she heard a noise on the stairs. Everyone in the room turned to look towards the top of the stairs. They all saw a pair of female shoes coming down the stairs. Then a familiar voice said, "Hello? Anyone home?"

Angel felt his emotions kick into high gear and he whispered, "Cordelia?"

Cordelia came into full view and stopped half way down the stairs. She looked around at everyone and asked, "What are you all doing in the basement?"

No one answered for a few seconds. Then Angel quickly walked half way up the stairs to meet her and said, "Cordelia? Is it really you?"

"Well, Duh. Who else would it be?"

"But you were in a higher plane. I saw you there. How did you get back?"

"I did everything I needed to do there, and asked to come home."

Angel felt a large smile spreading across his face. He said, "Just like that?"

Cordelia smiled back and said, "Well that and the whole 'watching you get your ass kicked by the Beast' made me think it was the right time."

Angel laughed and pulled Cordelia into a hug. Cordelia hugged him back for a few seconds and then pulled away. She said, "I missed you. I missed all of you."

Fred went up the stairs and gave Cordelia a hug too while Angel stepped aside. Fred said, "I'm so happy you're back."

"Thanks Fred. Me too."

Wesley went next and as he hugged her he asked, "How do you know about the Beast?"

"I saw everything you guys did while I was up there."

Wesley said, "Fascinating. Were you able to see anyone you wanted, or just those you had relationships with when you were on Earth?"

"Just the people I already knew."

Gunn came next to give her a hug and said, "You're a site for sore eyes Cordy. We missed you."

"Thanks Gunn. Trust me I can say the same."

Lorne came up to her and said, "Hi sweetie."

She gave him a tight hug and said, "You're looking fab as usual."

She let him go and looked at the only two people left in the basement. Cordelia walked down the stairs and put her hand out to shake with Julie. She said, "Hi there, I'm Cordelia. It's nice to meet you."

Julie seemed confused but put out her hand too as she said, "You're the Cordelia that Connor told me about? The one who disappeared the same night he sunk Angel in the ocean?"

Cordelia nodded and said, "That's right."

Cordelia let go of Julie's hand and turned to Connor. Connor had turned a little red remembering that night, but before he could say much Cordelia pulled him into a big hug. He was surprised and a little caught off guard. A few seconds later he awkwardly hugged her back for a fast second and then let go. Cordelia let go and gave him a scrutinizing look. She said, "I've been watching you too."

Connor wasn't sure what to think of that, but found his face was getting even redder. Cordelia said, "You've made life pretty hard on your dad over the past few months, but I can see improvement in you every day. And now that I'm back, I have a feeling things can only get better."

Connor didn't know what to say and just stared at the floor. Cordelia turned to the group on the stairs and said, "So are we going to hang out here with the dead guy, or do you want me to show you where the Tooth of Light is?"

Angel said, "You know where it is?"

"Yeah, the visions Doyle was so sweet to give me seem to be permanent. I had them up there too."

Wesley said, "Well today is just full of remarkable surprises. Please lead the way."

Cordelia went up the stairs and everyone followed her to the lobby. Cordelia looked to Fred and said, "Could you find me some kind of blue prints of the sewer system under downtown LA on the internet?"

Angel said, "I can do better than that. Since I use them so much, I had copies made from the library a long time ago. Hold on, and I'll go get them."

Cordelia nodded and Angel went to his office. Gunn said, "What are the chances that this tooth would be in LA?"

Cordelia said, "It's not."

Wesley asked, "Then why the blue prints?"

"The tooth is actually a sword, and it's between dimensions. We can reach it from LA, but we could reach it from at least one hundred other places on the globe too."

"I see. That is a clever way to hide it from the Beast, but also have it accessible when he was around to create havoc."

Angel came out of his office with the blueprints. Cordelia spread them out on the counter and looked through them until she found the one she was looking for. She pointed to it and said, "Here. In this area there is crack in one of the tunnel walls. If you make it just a little bigger so that you can get through it, you'll find a pathway to the sword."

Angel said, "Great. I can be there in half an hour, and with all the demons probably topside, it should be hassle free. Gunn, Wes, let's go."

Connor said, "Hey! What about me?"

Angel said, "You stay off your ankle, take another painkiller, and study with Fred and Lorne."

Connor pouted but didn't argue. Angel, Wesley, and Gunn started for the sewer entrance, and Cordelia followed. Once they got to the hatch Angel said, "What are you doing?"

Cordelia gave him a look and said, "Coming with you."

Angel shook his head. "You just got back. You should rest."

Cordelia shook her head. "I spent the past few months resting. I'm ready for some action."

"But you….. you just got back and,….. I don't want you to get hurt, or go away again."

Cordelia put a hand on his face and said, "Angel, don't worry so much. It's gonna be fine."

She kissed his cheek and went through the hatch as she said, "And you can't stop me anyway."

Gunn smirked and followed Cordelia. Wesley gave Angel's shoulder a companionable squeeze and followed also. Angel shook his head and muttered, "It's Cordy all right."

Soon they were all walking and talking. Cordelia talked most of the way about the things she had done during her stay in the higher plane, and answered Wesley's multitude of questions.

They arrived at the hole in the tunnel wall half an hour later, and Angel inspected it. He said, "The tunnel walls are made of thick metal, but it's been rusted around the hole so it's weak."

He told everyone to stand back and used his hands to pull on the metal. He didn't have much trouble bending it enough to let all of them through. Once they were on the other side of the tunnel, Wesley got out a couple of flashlights and handed one to Angel. They all started down the new tunnel and Angel took the lead. They walked for a little ways, and then came to an area where the tunnel got a bit wider. It opened up into a small room, with the tunnel continuing at the far end of the room. Angel suddenly stopped. Cordelia looked around and asked, "What?"

"Something doesn't feel right."

He looked around some more but didn't see anything amiss. He took a cautious step forward and got three small wooden arrows stuck in his abdomen. He looked down and said, "It would be wood wouldn't it."

Wesley said, "It's booby trapped."

Angel pulled the arrows out and tossed them on the floor. Gunn said, "What tripped it? I don't see any wires or anything."

Angel looked and knelt down. He felt the floor where he had stepped. He said, "The floor is rigged. Kind of like land minds I would assume, except things shoot at you instead of blowing you up."

Cordelia said sarcastically, "Nice."

Angel said, "You and Gunn should head back."

"Yeah, nice try. You go first, but cover up your heart with your hand, just in case, and the rest of us will follow in your foot steps… literally."

Angel looked over at Wesley and Gunn. Both of them gave him a nod. He sighed, covered up his heart with his hand, and took a step forward. It was slow going, and once Cordelia almost fell over, but Wesley steadied her in time. They got to the other side of the room with only six other arrows in Angel's legs and arms.

Angel pulled the last of the arrows out and said, "Damn arrows." as he headed further into the tunnel. A few feet later the cave split into two directions.

Gunn asked, "Which way?"

Angel looked to Cordelia who shrugged not knowing the answer. Angel said, "We'll split up. You and Wes go that way, Cordy and I will go this way."

Wesley nodded and headed to the left with Gunn following. Cordelia followed Angel. Soon they came to a second chamber in the tunnel. This one was full of strings with little bells on them going from the ceiling all the way to the floor. Angel reached inside and tapped one of the strings and then pulled his hand back. The walls of the chamber moved in towards each other about a foot. Cordelia said, "Trip the strings and become a pancake."

Angel nodded in agreement and said, "You first. I'll follow, and if it gets close, I'll try to push you far enough to get out of the way of the walls."

Cordelia nodded and headed into the chamber trying to avoid all of the many strings hanging down. She hit one accidentally with the back of her head, and then became very still as the walls moved another foot towards her. By the time they were half way across the room Cordelia had hit the strings two more times, and Angel had hit them once. The walls were getting close, and Angel said, "My guess is two more chances to screw up, and then it's pancake time."

Cordelia didn't nod, but she did agree. She took a few more very careful steps and hit another string. They both stood still while the walls moved towards them. Angel looked at the distance they had left to go, and noticed how slowly the walls were moving. He made a decision, and moved so fast that Cordelia didn't know exactly what was going on until it was over. She found herself flat on top of Angel who was lying on the ground just outside of the chamber. She looked back to see the walls squash together and then slowly open all the way back up.

Cordelia looked down at Angel and said, "Didn't trust me?"

Angel smiled and said, "I thought this would be more fun."

"Hmm…. I think you may be right."

Angel got serious and said; "I really missed you Cordy."

She leaned down and kissed him on the mouth. He kissed her back eagerly. She paused and said, "I missed you too Angel."

He knew there was chaos outside. He knew the Beast was on the loose and it was up to his team to stop it. But he couldn't stop himself from asking. "What were you coming to tell me that night?"

Cordelia said, "I was going to tell you that I loved you."

Angel almost couldn't believe she was saying it. He said, "And now?"

Cordelia smiled at him. She said, "We'll talk about that after you kill the Beast."

She kissed him briefly on the mouth and got herself up. He was somewhat satisfied with that answer and got up himself. He took the lead again, and soon came to another chamber that was different then the others. This one was bigger, and there were no tunnels leading out of it, except for the way they had just come. In the center of the room was a large round stone structure that looked somewhat like a large tree stump. Above that was a large ball of swirling light. Cordelia said, "That's it."

Angel nodded and went up to it. "Do you know how I get it?"

She shook her head no. Angel reached his hand into the ball of light, and after a few seconds of feeling around, he felt something metal that fit nicely in his hand. He grabbed it and pulled it out. He was holding a long silver sword with a gold handle. Cordelia said, "It's pretty."

Angel nodded and said, "Okay we have it, so let's go find the…"

Angel stopped talking when he felt the ground start to shake. Cordelia looked around along with him and they could see small pieces of the ceiling starting to fall. He yelled, "Run!"

She followed him back through the tunnel. Angel tried the strings again before going through, but nothing happened to the walls. He said, "It's disabled. Come on."

They ran and soon met up with Gunn and Wesley. They all started running towards the hole in the sewer wall together. They all made it without getting hit by any of the large chunks of tunnel that were falling down around them. Once they were back in the sewer tunnel Gunn pointed to the sword Angel held and said, "Is that it?"

Angel nodded. Cordelia said, "Was there anything in your tunnel?"

Wesley said, "It was a dead end."

Gunn corrected him. "A booby trapped dead end." 

Cordelia looked down at Gunn's leg and saw a spreading blood stain on the upper right thigh of his jeans. She said, "Are you gonna be okay to walk back?"

Gunn nodded and then took off his shirt. He tied the long sleeved tee shirt around the leg to put some pressure on the wound. "It was a little metal star shaped thing that got me, but it wasn't very big. I'll be fine till we get back."

Angel nodded and said, "Let's go."


	22. Chapter 22

Authors Note: This chapter has spoilers for the episode "Awakening". There is some slightly graphic sex in this one.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 22

They all made it back to the hotel with no trouble. When they got there Angel said, "We have what it takes to kill him, so now how do we find him?"

Fred came out from behind the front desk and went to see if Gunn needed to be patched up. Cordelia said, "In my vision I saw the Beast get stabbed in the head with the sword, and then he exploded. I don't know, but I don't think any human would survive the explosion. I don't even know if you would."

Connor spoke up. "I'll track it. Then Dad and I will kill it."

Julie said, "No Connor, it's too dangerous."

Angel shook his head. "You're still injured."

"And I can still track better then you."

Angel reluctantly nodded knowing that was true. Julie saw the nod and said, "So you're going to willingly put your son in mortal danger while he's injured? Maybe you should try tracking it alone and see what happens before you get Connor involved."

Angel was going to tell Connor no at first, but now that Julie had annoyed him he said, "You track it, and stay out of the way while I kill it."

Connor nodded and said, "I'm ready."

Julie glared at Angel and then went to stand in front of Connor. She said, "You shouldn't be going anywhere, you're hurt. And even if you try to stay out of the way, the Beast could plow right through Angel and still get you. Please don't go."

Connor took Julie's hand and said, "I have to go. It's connected to me, and until it's dead I can never stop trying. I'm sorry."

Angel headed for the front door, and then Julie said, "Aren't you always mad at Connor for doing dangerous things, and now you're the one putting him in a dangerous situation. What kind of father are you?"

Before Angel could reply Gunn said, "Wait a minute."

Angel turned and looked at him. Gunn said, "What happens when you kill the Beast in the middle of the street, and the sun comes back? Won't you fry?"

Angel looked out the door and started laughing. "You know, I was so gung-ho to get this thing, that I completely forgot what time it actually is. I suppose I'll have to wait until tonight."

Wesley said, "We could try to lure him here. Make some sort of trap."

Connor had gone back to sit down and said, "How?"

Wesley thought about it for a second and said, "Well we do have his acolyte. I could look him over again and see if there is anything I missed. Maybe find a way to summon him."

Angel nodded and said, "It's worth a try. Let me know if you find anything. Until you find something or the sun goes down, I guess its business as usual. Lorne have we had any calls that seemed urgent?"

Wesley headed for the basement. Lorne nodded and said, "We've had a few, but I don't think it's anything you could actually do anything about."

"Why not?"

"All four of them were missing children reports from this morning. Each person who called said their kid was playing in the yard with the porch lights on and then they just disappeared."

Connor and Gunn both said, "Vampires."

Angel got a little angry and said, "Why the hell would people let their kids go out and play in the dark like that when something is obviously wrong with the sun?"

Julie said, "You were going to take Connor out in it, until you found out you might be in danger yourself."

The room was quiet. Angel stalked into his office and slammed the door behind him. Connor looked at Julie and said, "I wish you would at least try to get along with him." Then he turned to Lorne and said, "Anything else that we should go look into?"

Lorne gave Connor a big smile and said, "Yes as a matter of fact I have some Brahms you should look into down in the basement right now."

Connor groaned and said, "I didn't mean schoolwork, I meant phone calls."

Lorne looked at Cordelia and said, "Are you ready to man the phones?"

Cordelia nodded. Fred said to Gunn, "Let's go take a look at that leg in the bathroom."

Gunn nodded and followed her to get patched up. Connor reluctantly followed Lorne and muttered, "Get me all excited about tracking, and then send me to study music instead. How rotten is that?"

Cordelia looked at Julie who was the only person left in the lobby, and Julie regarded Cordelia as well. Cordelia waited until she was pretty sure they had the music going downstairs and then said, "If you say even one more nasty thing to Angel I'm going to be calling your father."

Angel had been sitting in his office staring at some pictures of the Beast, but as soon as he overheard Cordelia, he put all of his attention into listening to what she was saying.

Julie's mouth dropped open and she stared at Cordelia not knowing what to say. Cordelia continued, "Do you think he'll be happy to hear that you have basically shacked up with your underage boyfriend who doesn't even have a GED? A guy who spends all of his extra time hunting vampires which your father doesn't even believe in."

Julie's eyes got very wide, and she looked scared. Cordelia let her statement sink in for a few seconds and then said, "Do you think he's going to want to keep paying for you to live here and go to school, or do you think your funding will be cut off?"

Julie whispered, "You wouldn't."

"Oh yes I would."

Julie didn't know what to say and just shook her head no. Cordelia took pity on the girl and put a hand on her shoulder. She said, "Julie, when I was in a higher plane, I could see you because you were involved with Connor. And because I knew you through Connor, when your mother died, I got the chance to speak with her."

Julie looked on the verge of tears and said, "What?"

"Your mother seemed like a very nice woman. She is very proud of you and what you've accomplished. She barely graduated high school, and you make her proud every day by going to college and working hard at making a good life for yourself. I thought you should know that she is up there watching you, and will be for the rest of your life. Now I know that you love Connor, and I think that someday the two of you could be really happy together. But if you keep putting a rift between father and son, you are going to eventually loose Connor one way or another."

Angel couldn't believe his ears. He would have never thought to threaten Julie with her own father. He hoped that what Cordelia was saying was sinking in, and that Julie would start giving him a chance.

Cordelia could see Julie had started to cry quietly. Cordelia walked up to Julie and put a hand on her arm. She said, "I'm okay with the two of you to dating, but I'm not okay with either one of you changing yourselves to be with the other. You need to get your college diploma before you settle down into a life with Connor. And Connor needs to get that GED and find out what he wants to do with his life. But more then anything else right now, Connor needs to get to know his father and build a relationship with him. Until he does that, he won't be ready for a serious relationship with any girl."

Julie was still crying, but also nodding at the things Cordelia was telling her. Cordelia pulled her into a hug and said, "I would really like to be friends with you Julie, but I am dead serious about you and Angel. You be nice to him, or I'll make sure your dad gets a call."

Julie nodded and sniffed. She got out, "You really saw my mom?"

Cordelia nodded and said, "She loves you very much."

Julie let go and said, "Thank you."

Cordelia gave her a smile and said, "Maybe after the Beast is dead, and the sun is back, and you've moved back to your apartment, we could go to the mall and do some shopping together."

Cordelia gave her a conspiring smile and said, "Connor's wardrobe is appalling. We should pick out a few thing for him."

Julie smiled in spite of her tears and said, "Sounds good."

Cordelia said, "I'm glad we understand each other."

Julie wanted to have some time alone to think about all the things Cordelia had said so she said, "I brought some textbooks with me, so I think I'll go up to my room and do some studying."

Cordelia nodded and let her go. As Julie was headed up the stairs Gunn and Fred came out of the bathroom. Gunn was talking as they came out, "But they give me personality."

"You have plenty of personality without the scars."

Cordelia smiled and started looking at her old files. A few seconds later she looked at Fred and said, "What did you do to my filing system?"

Fred just smiled and said, "Um…fixed it?"

Angel smiled in his office. He knew he had missed Cordelia personally, but he hadn't realized she was such an essential part of the team until today. He could feel some of the tension leaving his neck and shoulders, even thought he hadn't realized he was all that tense in the first place.

Cordelia and Fred started talking about the filing system, and as they were looking through the files, they came across the file that held information about Phantom Dennis. Fred looked very apologetic and said; "I'm sorry Cordy. We couldn't pay for your place anymore. We had to sell it."

Cordelia gave her a sad smile and said, "I know. It's okay. Once the sun is back, I'll go visit with Dennis to let him know I'm okay, and to see how the new owners are doing."

Cordelia said with fresh realization, "I guess that means I'll have to pick out a room."

Fred smiled and said, "Come on, let's go pick one out for you."

Cordelia and Fred went upstairs to the rooms, and as they walked by Connor's room, Cordelia noticed the door was open and looked inside. She stopped abruptly as Fred kept walking and talking. Cordelia went into Connor's room and looked around. Fred noticed her friend wasn't following, and went back to see what Cordelia was doing. Fred saw Cordelia in Connor's room, and she said, "Cordy?"

Cordelia turned around and Fred could tell she was angry. Fred couldn't for the life of her figure out what the problem was. Cordelia said, "I'll pick out a room later. I need to talk to Angel."

Fred knew Cordelia well enough to stay out of that. She just nodded and said, "Okay."

Cordelia stalked down to Angel's office. She opened the door without knocking, and shut it hard behind her. Angel had a huge smile for her, still thinking about how she had handled Julie for him. But his smile quickly faltered as soon as he saw her face. He said, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Cordelia asked sarcastically.

Angel quietly waited for it. Cordelia said, "What's wrong is your son's room."

Angel didn't understand. Cordelia put her hands on her hips and said, "Angel, how do you expect Connor to fit in with others when he doesn't even have a TV in his room? He doesn't have a CD player, a computer, or a cell phone. No stack of CD's, no Playstation, no basketballs or sports equipment, he doesn't even have any piles of clothes or empty food boxes on the floor. His room is excessively neat with the exception of some weapons scattered on the floor!"

Angel still looked kind of confused and said, "He has a Gameboy….and some books."

Cordelia said, "It's not the 1800's Angel. How much allowance do you give him?"

"Um…..we hadn't really talked about that….he has a walkman."

Cordelia gave Angel a disappointed look and shook her head. Angel got defensive; "It's not like I've had him his whole life Cordy. It's only been two and a half months since I've been back, and we've spent a lot of that time controlling his temper, and getting him to trust us."

Cordelia softened and walked around the desk to where Angel was sitting. She half leaned and half sat on the edge of Angel's desk and said, "I know. I've been watching you, remember? And you've done a great job so far. But I still think there's room for improvement."

Angel smiled again and said, "I agree. So you're going to take him shopping for clothes when this is all over?"

Cordelia's eyes narrowed and she said, "You've been eavesdropping."

Angel smirked. "You knew I could hear you."

She smiled back, "I'm taking your credit card."

Angel's smile faltered and he muttered, "I'll have to lower the limit."

Cordelia lightly punched his shoulder and said, "Better not."

Before she knew what was happening, he pulled her over to sit on his lap and gave her a lingering kiss. She was a little breathless when it was over. She said, "What was that about?"

He whispered in her ear. "Thank you for talking to Julie, and thank you for coming home to us."

Cordelia smiled, but didn't want to get into any kind of serious talk until the Beast was killed. She said, "Don't think I'm gonna forget why I came in here. Connor needs to have these things, and I'm going to buy them."

Angel sounded doubtful. "He needs a stack of CD's?"

Cordelia nodded and added, "Only because you're too cheap for an IPOD."

"A what pod?"

Cordelia shook her head, pushed herself off his lap and said, "Hopeless."

As she was starting to walk off she said, "Anyway, if you get him attached to all these gadgets, pretty soon you can try grounding him from them when he's not listening to you. It's always good to have new and inventive ways of keeping kids in line."

Before she got to his office door, they both heard the basement door slam. Connor stomped into Angel's office and glared at him. Angel could tell Connor was livid about something. Connor yelled, "How could you not tell me!"

Angel kept his voice calm when he said, "Tell you what Connor?"

"About Sahjhan and the fact that I'm destined to kill him!"

Cordelia said, "Why don't you calm down Connor, and we can talk about it like adults."

Connor gave her a look of hatred and disbelief. "I've only met you a few times, and you're telling me to calm down like you know me? You can shut up and get out, this is between…."

Angel was beside Connor so fast, that Connor didn't have time to do much besides take one step back. It didn't help, as Angel had already grabbed Connor's upper arm with his left hand and was swatting him full force with his right. Connor yelped at the first of six unbelievably hard swats. Angel gave him a little shake and said, "Apologize."

Connor glared at the floor for a second thinking. Then a breathless Lorne got to the office door and said to Angel, "Sorry I let the cat out of the bag. I didn't know it wasn't shared information. We were talking about your singing, and then about his mother and how you said she could sing, and then we got to talking about her pregnancy, and then…..well, you know me with a captive audience….I had to finish the story."

Angel nodded absently and said, "It's okay Lorne. Shut the door behind you please."

Lorne got the hint and muttered, "Sorry kid." as he walked out and shut the door.

Angel hadn't heard an apology and swatted Connor two more times. Connor kept his mouth tightly shut in anger at his father for not telling him in the first place, and anger at Cordelia for butting into what Connor saw as a private thing. Angel said with a deadly calm, "Apologize now."

Connor felt a chill at Angel's tone and had the sense to mutter an insincere, "Sorry."

Cordelia walked over to Connor. She gave Angel an indiscernible look and waved him away. Angel wasn't sure about it, but let go of Connor and took one step back, so that Connor would still be in reach if he needed to get him under control. Cordelia put one hand on Connor's face, and the other on his upper arm. He looked a little nervous, and then Cordelia's eyes turned white. Angel took a few more steps back as Cordelia started to glow with a white light that came from inside her and started to travel into Connor. Connor looked terrified at first and tried to break free from her but couldn't. Then she put her forehead on his and he closed his eyes involuntarily.

Cordelia and Connor stayed locked forehead to forehead with white light surrounding them for four minutes. Angel was about to try and touch one of them to see of something was wrong when the light quickly disappeared. Connor opened his eyes suddenly and backed away from Cordelia a few steps. He shook his head no and a few tears ran down his face. Cordelia said, "It's gonna be okay Connor."

Connor took a few more steps back and bumped into the door. He quickly opened it and dashed out and ran up the hotel stairs like something from hell was after him. Angel shouted at him, "Connor!"

Connor didn't turn around or even seem to hear him. Angel turned to Cordelia with a mix of awe, confusion, and some anger. He said, "What did you do to him?"

"I shared some of my memories with him. Now he knows without a doubt how I felt about him when he was a baby, and how I feel about him now. He never would have believed me if I told him that I loved him, so I let him feel it instead. I also gave him a realistic picture of what life might be like for him now if he had been with you all along. It's a lot to digest. He'll probably need some time."

Angel said, "You can do that?"

Cordelia looked like she was slightly surprised herself. "I guess I can."

Angel looked towards the stairs and wondered if he should go after Connor to see if he was okay. He said, "I'll be right back."

Halfway up the stairs he could hear Connor crying quietly. As he got to Connor's door he heard Julie moving around in the room she was staying in, which was next to Connor's. He waited until her door opened a little. Angel thought she looked slightly angry when she saw him. Angel said, "I'm gonna talk to Connor alone for a few minutes, and then when I'm done you can see him."

Julie just nodded and shut her door again. Angel went in and saw Connor curled up on his bed. He had his back to the door. Angel sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed Connor's back. Angel sighed while thinking about what to say. "I didn't tell you about the prophecy because….. well I guess there are a few reasons. I didn't want you to think your whole purpose for being was to kill Sahjhan. I didn't want it weighing over your head, and I know for a fact that he's in a safe place right now. Although if I'm honest with myself, maybe I just didn't want to tell you because I knew it would upset you, and I wanted to protect you."

Connor said quietly, "I want to be alone. Please Dad."

Angel almost couldn't leave Connor, because he was obviously still crying and unhappy, but he forced himself to stand and walk out. He closed the door behind him and saw Julie. He said, "Connor said he wants to be alone, but you can try if you want."

Julie didn't look as angry as before, and did go into the room. Angel was halfway back down the stairs when he heard Julie go back to her own room. Angel went back to his office and brooded while Cordelia, Fred, and Gunn made some lunch for everyone.

Upstairs Connor was full of hate, sadness, and anger all at the same time. He had understood for quite some time now that Holtz had been in the wrong pretty often when he was growing up. And he had come to the realization that Holtz probably hated him when he was growing up, even if a part of him cared for him. But now, for the first time in his life, Connor had a burning hatred for the man who had raised him. Now he understood that the man he had loved and called father for his entire life had in reality stolen his life. Connor couldn't get over how unfair and unjust life seemed to be. Now that he knew what his life might have actually been like, he felt excruciating loss and jealousy over that possible life.

He got up and started pacing his room while his mind raced. He was too full of emotions with no way to get rid of them. His emotional distress was too much for him. He knew how it would end up, but he just couldn't stop himself. He grabbed a stake off his floor, jumped out his window, and went to look for something to kill.

As he was walking away from the hotel his mind was still full of the images Cordelia had given him. Images of his real father caring for him as a baby while Cordelia looked on. Images of Cordelia playing with him and kissing him. Images of them both protecting him from all the evil things that wanted to get a hold of him. Images of him in college and well adjusted while still fighting evil in his spare time along side Angel.

He got three blocks away and smelled blood. He stopped and looked around. Then he looked down at his own hand and saw that he had unconsciously stabbed the stake halfway through the palm of his left hand. He pulled it out and growled at himself for his stupidity. Three seconds later two vampires were in front of him. It was a male and a female who were apparently hunting together. The female said, "Finally. A fresh one, and he's out of the house. How nice of you to draw us to you with your blood."

The male smiled at Connor and said, "We've been looking for you all morning."

Connor gave a feral yell and attacked. The vampires were caught off guard, and the female was dust before she could try to defend herself. The male was a little quicker and blocked some of Connor's blows. He got in a good punch to the side of Connor's head that sent him back a few feet. This just made Connor more determined, and he attacked with a kick to the vampires abdomen. The vampire was shoved back a few feet. Connor had a clear shot to the heart, but didn't take it. Instead he kept punching and kicking until the vampire was on the ground beneath him. Connor punched and punched until the male's face was a mess of blood and torn flesh. When the vampire was unconscious Connor finally staked him. The vampire turned to dust, and Connor sat on the ground in the dust looking at his bloody knuckles.

Two seconds later he heard Angel behind him say gently, "Come on Connor, let's go home."

Connor whipped his head around to see Angel standing there behind him with one of Connor's swords at his side. Angel didn't look all that angry. Connor thought he looked kind of sad. Connor looked at his hands again and stayed where he was.

Angel, well aware of the dangers that surrounded them out of the hotel with all the vampires and demons of LA walking the streets during the day, knelt down beside Connor and put a hand on his shoulder. He said, "We need to go home Connor."

Angel tried another tact and said, "Lunch is ready. Aren't you hungry."

Connor looked up at Angel and said, "It isn't fair Dad. I want that life. The life Cordy showed me. I don't want this one."

Angel lay the sword down and sat on the ground too. He pulled Connor into a hug and said, "I want that life for you too. I would sacrifice everything I have to give you that life, but we both know that's impossible. All we can do is make this life as happy and as full of joy as possible."

Connor didn't know how or why, but having Angel there and comforting him made his pain seem bearable. He hugged Angel back as hard as he could and whispered, "I love you Dad."

Angel didn't think he would ever hear those words from his son after he had been taken from him. He kept a tight hold on Connor also and said, "I love you too Connor."

A female voice behind them said, "Awww, Larry, isn't that the sweetest thing you ever heard? Why don't you ever tell me you love me?"

Angel and Connor broke apart and both jumped up. There were five vampires standing around them in a circle. Larry said to the female, "'Cause I don't ya skank."

Angel noticed that the female vampire was holding the sword. She stabbed Larry with it. He yelled and she screamed, "Don't call me a skank you asshole."

Connor saw the opportunity while the vampires were distracted with their own issues, and stabbed the female with the stake that was still in his hand. She gave him a surprised, "Oh!" before she dusted.

Angel grabbed the free end of the sword and yanked it out of Larry. He quickly decapitated Larry and shoved the hilt of the sword back into the vampire that had attacked him from behind. He saw Connor out of the corner of his eye, and noted that Connor was doing fine fighting off the one vampire that had attacked him, and he concentrated on the two that were left. Very soon Connor and Angel were alone again. Angel took a look at each of Connor's hands inspecting for injuries. He saw the hole in his left palm and said, "How did that happen?"

Connor looked at it as if he wasn't sure. "I did it myself. Not really on purpose….it just happened."

"We'll bandage it up when we get home. Doesn't look too bad. And you're knuckles all look okay. Maybe a bruise or two, but all the blood was the vampires."

Angel put his arm around Connor's shoulders and started them walking towards home. A few seconds later Connor said, "Are you mad? You don't seem mad."

Angel shook his head. "I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. You could have and should have gone downstairs to use the punching bag instead of that vamps face. You could have come to me. Or at the very least you could have taken Gunn with you."

Connor was surprised at how much Angel's words hurt. He said quietly, "I'm sorry."

Angel squeezed Connor's shoulder and said, "But I do understand, and I've done the same thing myself. That doesn't mean I excuse it, but I understand it."

They were both quiet for the last block. Then when they were in front of the hotel Connor stopped walking, which made Angel stop walking too. Connor said, "If….. if you're gonna spank me, will you do it here so that Julie won't hear it?"

Angel could see into the hotel's lobby through the glass doors. No one was there. He assumed they were all eating lunch. He had gone up to get Connor because lunch was ready when he discovered him gone, and jumped out the window after him. He looked around outside and figured they were fairly safe inside the hotel grounds with the lobby doors a few feet away. He looked at Connor and nodded as he let go of his shoulders. Angel went and stood by the stone bench that was a few feet away. Connor reluctantly followed.

Angel thought about it for a second as he set Connor's sword on the ground. He wanted to make an impression on Connor, and he wanted it over quickly since he didn't feel entirely safe out in the open. He took off his belt and doubled it over before sitting down. Connor's eyes got big with surprise, and he shook his head no. Angel put a hand on Connor's upper arm and said, "You haven't run off for a long time Connor. It was dangerous. The Beast is on the loose still, the sun is down and there are vampires and demons all over the city killing people. We've gone over it before, and you know better. If you would rather, we can go in to my room and I can use the brush."

Connor started to cry, but shook his head no. Angel gave a curt nod and said, "Pants down."

Connor undid the button and zipper of his pants and pushed both pants and underwear down to his knees. Angel pulled Connor over his lap. Angel brought the belt down right away having said all he wanted to say.

Connor thought he was ready for the blow, but a muffled grunt escaped his mouth when it landed. It was much more painful then he was ready for. But then he figured it always seemed more painful then he remembered when he was actually in the middle of a spanking. But this was only the second time that Angel had spanked him with a belt, and he could feel a distinct difference between it and the hairbrush. The first time Angel had used his belt, Connor had been lost in memories of Holtz. This time there were no memories of Holtz.

This time there were only memories of Angel. Angel spanking him for this very same offence more then once, Angel comforting him when it was over, and even Angel talking to him about what he had done. While Connor was thinking and remembering, he kept his mouth clamped shut even though there were tears flowing down his cheeks. But by the time Angel had given him eight licks, he had already gone over every area of Connor's butt once. Connor's butt was a mass of sharp stinging pain that he found impossible to ignore, especially when Angel started to go over areas that had already been smacked once. Connor's mind now was focused on the pain and trying to stop his body from trying to get away from it.

Angel could tell Connor was in a lot of pain already from the way his body was moving, and the fact that Connor was jerking around involuntarily, and starting to yelp. Angel wanted to stop, but then thought about Connor beating the vampire to a pulp, stabbing himself in the hand, and running away in the first place, and knew he couldn't be done yet.

By the time Angel had covered Connor's butt with spanks a second time Connor said, "Please Dad, please stop. I'm sorry."

Angel kept spanking and said, "You don't run off Connor. I don't care how upset you are, you don't run away."

Connor said, "I know! I won't!"

Angel kept bringing the belt down until he got to twenty-five, and had covered Connor's butt and upper thighs with spanks three times. Connor kept up his apologies and pleading until it was over.

Angel put his belt down on the bench beside him and scanned the immediate area for vampires. Finding none he looked down at his son. He saw that Connor was going to have a few welts, but they would be gone in a few hours. He rubbed Connor's back for a few seconds until Connor got up.

Connor's butt had gone from sharp stinging to burning. He got himself up, and pulled up his clothes. He wiped at his eyes and nose, and then looked down at Angel, who was still sitting and said, "You forgive me?"

Angel nodded and said, "Yes."

"Holtz never forgave me for anything. Even after he whipped me he would bring things up again and again to tell me how bad I was."

Angel pulled Connor down to sit on his lap and said, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from him. I'm sorry I wasn't the one to raise you."

"Me too."

Angel said, "No more running away right?"

Connor nodded. Angel said, "Everyone is waiting for us to show up for lunch. That's why I came to get you in the first place. You ready to make an appearance?"

"No, but I will. Can I take a plate upstairs?"

Angel nodded and said, "If you want, you can go straight upstairs, and I'll bring you a plate. How's your ankle?"

Connor looked down at it and rotated it. He said, "It's not any worse. Still healing."

Angle nodded. He said, "I'll be up with a plate in a minute. You clean up your hand, and I'll take a look at it when I come up."

They went into the hotel together, and then Connor went to the stairs while Angel went to the kitchen. Everyone looked at him when he came in. He said, "Connor doesn't want to join us. I'm going to bring him a plate."

Angel started getting a plate ready, but when it was half full Cordelia took it from him and said, "I'll take it to him."

Angel said, "It's okay, I can do it."

Cordelia gave him a look, and he said, "Okay, we'll both take it."

Three minutes later Cordelia and Angel both walked into Connor's room. He was in the bathroom, and came out with a towel on his hand. Cordelia put the plate down and went over to him. She took his hand and looked it over while she asked, "What happened?"

Connor mumbled, "Nothing."

Cordelia gave him a glare and said, "Wrong answer. Try again."

As Connor was struggling with what to say, Cordelia looked at his face and said, "You got spanked."

Connor got bright red and looked away. Cordelia turned to Angel and said, "What happened?"

Angel said, "He jumped out the window, and went hunting."

Cordelia turned back to Connor and said, "Because of what I showed you?"

Connor looked back at her and gave her a small nod. She said, "I'm sorry…. I just wanted you to know…."

Connor interrupted, "I'm glad you showed me. It hurt at first, but I think it will make things better….. eventually."

Cordelia pulled Connor's head down and kissed his forehead. Then she let him go and went to get the plate of food. She handed it to him and said, "Eat up. You'll feel better."

"Thanks."

Cordelia put a hand on Angel's shoulder for a second before leaving the room. Angel held out his hand and said, "Let's see."

Connor held out his left hand and Angel nodded. He went into the bathroom and got out the first aid kit. He put some ointment on the wound and taped some gauze on it. Once that was done Angel sat down in Connor's desk chair and started talking about the Beast and what he expected the plan to be once Connor had tracked him down. Connor ate standing up, listened to his father, and decided he did feel better once he was full.

Later in the evening, when the sun was normally going down, Angel took the tooth of light sword and followed Connor out of the hotel. Connor's ankle felt better, but his butt was still uncomfortable. He tracked the Beast for half an hour, and they had to kill six different vampires and two demons along the way. But eventually they found the Beast on the rooftop of a building beside the ally where Connor was born.

Angel and Connor had obviously interrupted a ritual that the Beast was performing. He turned and said, "Angelus, Connor. Did you come to join me?"

Connor snarled, "Never."

Angel held up the tooth of light and said, "Actually, we came to stop you."

The Beast smiled and said, "Very well, let's fight if we must."

Connor walked back to the edge of the roof, and let Angel fight the Beast. Angel got in a few punches, and then tried to stab the Beast with the sword. The sword went into the Beast's chest about half a foot, and then stuck there. The Beast looked down at the sword, and yanked it out of himself. He took an end of the sword in each hand, and casually broke it in half. Angel stepped back a few paces and wondered what the hell to do now. The Beast gave a laugh and dropped both halves on the floor as he advanced on Angel.

Connor stood there and watched while the Beast proceeded to kick Angel in the chest, which sent him flying off the roof. Angel landed on the next rooftop over with a loud thud. Connor snuck up behind the Beast and picked up the pointy part of the broken sword. Connor knew that Angel didn't want Connor to be close to the Beast when he was killed, because Angel was afraid Connor might not survive the blast. And Connor, not being in the mood for yet another spanking that day, yelled, "Dad!"

Angel had gotten to his feet, and looked over at Connor. Connor tossed him the half sword and then attacked the Beast from behind with a kick to the middle of his back. Connor was ready for his kick not to have much effect this time, and landed on his feet after the kick. The Beast turned to Connor and started to advance. Connor backed up while punching the Beast in the head and chest. Then Connor got a glimpse of Angel behind the Beast, ready to strike. Connor turned and ran to the edge of the rooftop again, but this time swung himself over the edge. He held on with his fingertips, but the rest of his body was over the side of the building.

Angel saw Connor start to run and knew what he was doing. Angel shoved the point of the sword into the Beast's head starting at the base of the neck, and going up through the top of his head. The Beast stood still for half a second. Then the rock he was made of seemed to show slight fissures, which looked hot and red. The Beast started to shake, and a second later he exploded into thousands of pieces. A huge ball of light escaped him, and shot up into the sky. Angel had put his hands up to cover his head, and he had turned his back on the Beast. But the ball of light that escaped from the Beast caught Angel's coat on fire. Angel dropped and rolled until the fire was out.

As soon as it was quiet, Connor pulled himself back over the ledge of the building and looked around. Angel was standing up, but still smoking slightly as he inspected himself for any lingering fire. Connor went to him and said, "Did it work? Are you okay?"

Angel smiled at him and said, "I think so, and yes."

Connor smiled too and let out a victory cry. Angel smiled even bigger and said, "Let's go home and give everyone the good news."

Connor nodded and said, "I wonder how many vamps will fry in the morning when they expect the sun to still be gone."

"Lots I hope."

Angel put his arm around Connor's shoulders as they started for home. Angel said, "So how does it feel to be a champion?"

Connor gave him a little smile and said, "I didn't kill him, you did. So you tell me."

"I couldn't have done it without you Connor. I don't think I could have tracked him the way you did. And who knows if I would have been able to get the tip of the sword back in my hands after he tossed it and kicked me. And I might not have had the opportunity to stab him in the head if you weren't distracting him. We did it together, and I'm really proud of you for following my instructions. I know you wanted to try stabbing the Beast when his back was to you, but you tossed the sword to me instead. That took restraint and trust."

Connor smiled to himself, happy that he had pleased Angel.

Once they got back to the hotel, they told everyone the news. Wesley said, "So we wait for sunrise to see if it worked."

Angel nodded and said, "We should all stay here again tonight just in case."

Everyone agreed, and eventually wandered off to bed.

The next morning Connor woke up next to Julie, who had snuck into his room last night, and looked out his window to see the sun rising over the city. He woke her up and said, "Look."

She looked towards the window and smiled also and then kissed him. They got dressed quickly and went to see everyone else. Connor went to the basement and knocked on Angel's door. A groggy Angel opened the door in his boxers and wife beater tee shirt. He said, "Hmm?"

Connor said, "Sun's up."

Angel walked up the stairs and took a peek out the window that was shaded from direct sun. He smiled and looked at Connor and Julie standing together next to him. He said, "It's beautiful."

Julie smiled at him and said, "Yes it is. I wasn't sure you guys could do it, but you did. Thank you."

Angel wasn't sure if she was sincere or not, but he didn't really care. He nodded and said, "It's what we do. I'm going to go take a shower and get ready."

Connor nodded and said, "We'll make some breakfast."

Julie nodded too and said, "After breakfast, could someone drive me back to my apartment? I'm going to need to see if classes are starting up again today."

Angel said, "No problem. Connor can drive you home."

Angel hummed to himself as he took a shower and got himself ready. Once he was finished, he went back upstairs to find breakfast ready, and the rest of the team other then Lorne, who was never up early, sitting at the table and eating.

Angel noticed that everyone was in good spirits and happily talking about things this morning. When breakfast was done, Connor took Julie home. Wesley went home to his apartment to get some fresh clothes. Fred and Gunn decided to go take a walk in the sun and check out the neighborhood for damage. Soon it was just Angel and Cordelia sitting at the table.

Cordelia sipped her coffee, and Angel sipped his blood. There was a small silence, and then Cordelia said, "The Beast is dead."

"Yep."

"You and Connor did a great job together. He's a great kid, and he's gonna be a champion, just like you."

Angel smiled and nodded in agreement. Cordelia said, "I love you Angel. I loved you before I left, and then as I watched you struggling to build a relationship with your son from my higher plane, I grew to love you even more." 

Angel was amazed to hear those words. He spoke from his heart. "I've known you for seven years now, and I've seen the way you've changed. You've always been beautiful, but I didn't see the real you until you started to get the visions. When I saw you hiding the pain, and still wanting the visions because you knew they were my link to the higher powers, that's when I saw that your beauty wasn't just on the surface. That was when I started to fall in love with you."

Cordelia set her cup down and leaned over to Angel. She put her hand on the side of his face and looked into his eyes for a second before leaning over farther and kissing him. They both kissed for quite a while. Then Cordelia said breathlessly, "Let's take this to your room."

Angel was surprised and said, "Cordy….. I….. I do love you, but we can't. You know we can't. Not ever."

"Angel, can you ever have perfect happiness knowing that Buffy is out there with someone else when what she really wants is to be with you?"

Angel thought about it for a few seconds and said, "I love Buffy. I always will, but that doesn't mean that my love for you is somehow less or second hand."

"Be honest with yourself Angel. If you were human, you would be with her. Don't get me wrong, I know that if you were in a relationship with someone else and then became human, you wouldn't leave that person to resume your relationship with her. But I think if you became human when you were single, you would go looking for her. And I know she would do the same. So I think we can."

Angel thought about it for a few seconds. He did love Buffy still. He had dreams of her at least once a week, and he did hear the truth in what Cordelia had said. He said, "Maybe, but I don't think we should risk it."

Cordelia got up and scooted over to sit in Angel's lap. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. A few seconds later Angel couldn't resist the temptation any more, and decided Cordelia was right. He said, "Okay."

He picked her up and kept kissing her as carried her downstairs to his room in the basement. He shut the door with his foot, and carried her to the bed. He lay her down and quickly got out of his shirt. While he was working on his, she started to take off hers. But he stopped her with his hand over hers and said, "Let me."

She put her hand down and let him undress her completely. He looked at her for a few seconds and said, "So beautiful."

He got rid of the rest of his clothes in record time and started to explore her body. He was touching and tasting every part of her, and she was doing the same. Five minutes into it, Cordelia said, "Angel, I need you inside me. Please."

He said, "I want to make it last, but it's been so long."

She smiled at him and said, "It's been a long time for me too. Hard and fast will be perfect this time. Next time can be slow."

After hearing that, Angel couldn't have held back if he wanted to. He groaned in pleasure as he slid into her, and she moaned in appreciation. A few minutes later they both came with explosive orgasms. Angel lay on top of her resting for a second and then he felt it. He rolled off her and onto his back and looked down at himself as he started to shake. Cordelia said, "Angel?"

He looked at her and said, "Run."

She sat up starring at him but not moving. He yelled louder, "RUN!"

Angel's last thought was, 'I guess I did have perfect happiness with her.'

He shouted "Cordelia!" as he closed his eyes and felt his soul ripping away from him.

Angelus opened his eyes and saw Wo Pang standing above him. Wo Pang let his hand fall away from Angelus' forehead and said, "The fantasy becomes the reality."

Angelus looked down and saw he was strapped to a table. He looked out at the people standing around the cage he was in. He made eye contact with Connor and started to chuckle at the stupidity of the humans around him. His maniacal laughter soon filled the basement, and Connor felt a chill go up his back as he said, "Angelus."


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note: This chapter has spoilers for the episodes 'Soulless', 'Calvary', and 'Salvage'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 23

Wo Pang stepped away from Angelus, who was strapped to a movable table, and waited by the cage door. Wesley said, "It's done?"

Wo Pang nodded. Wesley let him out of the cage and locked it back up. Angelus had been laughing, but now that he was alone in the cage he abruptly stopped. Connor looked at the glass jar that Wo Pang had left on the table, next to him. It was supposed to contain Angel's soul, but it looked empty. Connor looked at Wo Pang and said, "Is his soul in there?"

Wo Pang looked at the jar and said, "No."

Wesley glared at Wo Pang. "You assured me you could do this. Is it Angelus or not? And if it is Angelus where is Angel's soul?"

Wo Pang closed his eyes and chanted for a few seconds. He looked at Wesley and said, "His soul is in the between." 

"The between?" Connor said with confusion.

Wo Pang explained, "The space between heaven and hell where the unattached and the undetermined go." 

Gunn said, "Just great. Great plan Wes! Now Angel's gone along with his soul."

Wo Pang shook his head. "The soul is still viable. When you are ready, I will be able to put it back. You know how to get in touch with me"

Wo Pang went up the stairs and let himself out. Wesley said, "Angelus?"

Angelus kept his eyes on the ceiling and said, "I'm with Gunn. Great plan Wes. I'm not telling you squat until you unstrap me."

Wesley nodded and said, "Very well."

Wesley brought his gun up to his shoulder and shot Angelus twice in the chest with tranquilizer darts. Angelus didn't make a sound, but a few seconds later his eyes closed. Gunn asked, "Is he out? How can we tell for sure?"

Wesley said, "These tranquilizers are quite potent. One will generally put a normal vampire to sleep for about two hours, so two should leave him unconscious for three or four hours."

Wesley got the key to the cage and undid the lock. Then he stepped back and held the gun to his shoulder again and said, "Unstrap him Gunn. If he's not out, I'll make sure he is, before he can get you."

Connor said, "I'll do it. I have a better chance of fighting him if he isn't unconscious."

Gunn simply said, "No." and walked over to the cage.

He went in and undid all the straps while Connor crossed his arms and sulked. Once that was done Wesley said, "Connor go help Gunn lift Angelus and put him on the floor so that we can get the table out of there. We don't want him to have anything he can use to get himself free."

Connor nodded and went in too. They put Angelus on the floor and took the bed out. Once they were done, Wesley locked the cage back up. He turned to everyone and said, "We have a couple of hours to wait. I'll take the first watch, and in a couple of hours Gunn can relieve me. The rest of you can go back to researching the Beast."

Everyone besides Wesley headed up the stairs. On the way Gunn looked at Connor and said, "You can tutor with me for a couple of hours, and then when it's my turn to watch Angelus Lorne can tutor you."

Connor said, "We should be out there protecting people, keeping the slaughter down to a minimum."

Gunn shook his head and pointed to Connor's makeshift crutch. "If you were up to full strength, you and I would be headed out right now. But as it is, you're ankle is still injured from your last encounter with the Beast, and your ribs are still bruised. You need to spend as much of today resting as you can. That way when we really need you in the fight with the Beast you'll be at your strongest."

Connor didn't like it, but knew Gunn was right. He sighed and nodded once.

They all were upstairs now, and Fred turned to Julie and said, "Did you want to help me with the research again?"

Julie said, "Sure. Anything's better then waiting around for the creepy vampire to wake up."

Lorne went to monitor the phones and the news. Connor and Gunn went into Angel's office to do the tutoring so they could be close to the basement if they were needed. As they started, Gunn thought Connor seemed distracted. Gunn said, "Wanna talk about it?"

Connor looked out the door at Fred and Julie. Gunn took the hint and went to close the door. He sat back down and said, "Wanna talk about it now?"

Connor said, "Angel's a pretty nice guy right? I mean most people who meet him like him."

Gunn though this was an odd question. "Yeah I suppose. Why?"

"I don't understand why Julie hates him so much."

Gunn thought about it for a few minutes. "I think if she took the time to get to know him more she would come around. But she does seem kind of unreasonable about it. He's letting her stay here for her own good, and all she can do is give him a hard time."

Connor nodded and thought about it a little more. He said, "I don't want her down there when Angelus comes to. We should keep her away from him. She doesn't need even more reasons to hate him."

"I agree, and actually I've been thinking the same thing about you. Why don't you stay up here and keep her company when he wakes up."

"No!"

Gunn gave Connor a warning look. Connor toned it down and said, "Please Gunn, I… I need to see him. I used to hate Angel, but I don't anymore, and I understand that Angel and Angelus are not the same person even if they share the same body. I've waited my whole life to meet Angelus, and hopefully I'll never get the chance again. Please let me come."

Connor hoped that Gunn would agree, because he planned to see Angelus whether Gunn agreed or not, but it would be nicer for everyone involved if Gunn said yes. Gunn sighed and said, "Okay, you can come, but I think you're gonna wish you hadn't."

"Thanks. What about Julie?"

Gunn thought about it for a few seconds. "I'll tell Lorne and Fred to keep her busy with something when Angelus wakes up. I know they don't want to be down there either."

Connor nodded in agreement.

It took Angelus four hours to wake up. Gunn and Wesley had taken turns watching him. Connor had done tutoring, and the rest of the team including Julie had done research. They had all just finished lunch when they heard Gunn yell from the basement stairs, "He's waking up."

Lorne turned to Julie and said, "I don't know about you, but I don't really want to meet the guy. What say you and me and Fred sit this one out?"

Julie looked at Connor to see what he thought. Connor said, "I think that's a good idea."

"Okay."

Fred said, "Yell if you guys need help."

Wesley and Connor went down to the basement with Gunn and shut the door behind them.

Angelus sat up and held his head for a second. He shook his head and looked around. He saw the three humans standing around the cage staring at him. He smirked at them and slowly stood up. He wiped the floor dust off his pants and shirt, and then leaned against the far wall of his cage. "A welcome party just for me? I'm touched."

Wesley said, "Tell us everything you know about the Beast."

"Now that's a lame start even by your standards Wes. Aren't you even gonna try to butter me up first?"

"I would be lying if I told you it wasn't a high point for me to meet you Angelus. I read everything ever written on you back when I was a watcher. But you know that already, so why don't we get to the point, and you can tell me what I need to know."

Angelus gave him a fake smile and said, "Why exactly do you think I'd tell you anything? I don't want the sun to come back, and if the Beast kills all of you, well I'd be a little disappointed not to be able to do it myself, but hey I'll get over it."

"If you don't give us something to work with, we'll just put your soul back. So the more you tell us, the longer you stay in control of your body. Seems like pretty good incentive to me."

Angelus turned to Gunn and said, "You can see how lame this plan is can't you Chuck? What do I get from the deal when I know you'll put my soul back either way?"

Gunn turned to Wes, "He has a point."

Angelus said, "I don't know what Angel was thinking leaving Wes in charge. Well actually do know what he was thinking."

Angelus turned to Wesley and said, "It's all about pity Wes. He knows Gunn would make a better leader. He knows Gunn is more trustworthy, and makes better choices. But Candy Ass Angel always needs to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. You'd think after stealing Connor he would finally give up on you, but no. He has to give everyone a chance to redeem themselves and do the right thing, even when deep down he knows that they will always disappoint him."

Angelus turned to Connor for the first time and said, "Just like you son."

Connor glared, "Don't call me that. You're not my father."

"You're wrong about that _son_. Angel is just a skin I wear. I'm always there just under the surface. You think Angel was the one who slapped Darla around and raped her? He just let me out to play for a while. Doubt he'll be doing that again any time soon seeing as how you're the result."

Connor tried not to let this get to him and bluffed, "You'd better hope you don't get loose, because I'd enjoy killing you."

Angelus laughed long and loud. Once he caught his breath he said with amusement, "Oh Connor, you missed your calling, you should have been a stand up comedian. How exactly do you plan to kill me? With your track record, I'd be more likely to stake myself."

Angelus got more serious and said, "Darla staked herself because she couldn't stand the feeling of you squirming around inside her anymore. You made her sick."

Gunn broke in, "That's not true Connor. I was there, and Darla loved you. She sacrificed herself so you could live."

Angelus nodded, "Good job Chuck. Stick with the happy little story to keep Connor's feelings safe, which ultimately keeps him under control."

Angelus turned back to Connor and said, "How about Holtz? You were around for that one. He stabbed himself in the neck to get away from you."

Connor yelled, "You don't talk about my fath…. Holtz."

Angelus smiled, pleased that he had gotten under Connor's skin. "That's right Holtz was your father for seventeen years, Steven. What would he think of you now? Would he be happy with what you've done with your life? Or would he think you're a weak pathetic boy who let him down?"

Connor looked away and said, "Holtz taught me many things that were false."

Angelus ignored this and continued, "Because I have to tell you that both Angel and I agree on that one. You are an embarrassment of a son."

Gunn wasn't able to stand the look of hurt on Connor's face and said, "That's it! Connor upstairs."

Angelus said, "What? Can't take the truth?"

Gunn spit out, "It's not the truth, it's a bunch of lies intended to make him feel bad."

"Right because you read minds and know what Angel is thinking."

Gunn turned to Connor who hadn't moved and said, "Upstairs."

Connor shook his head no not wanting to go, and Angelus laughed. "Good luck getting Connor to do what you want him to do with Angel gone. Better keep the tazer close by."

Gunn grabbed Connor's arm and started them walking towards the stairs. Connor let him. Gunn gave him a small shove to get him moving up the stairs and said, "Do as I say."

Connor looked over at Angelus once and then nodded and headed up the stairs. Angelus said, "See you soon son."

Once Connor was out of the room Angel turned to Wesley and said, "Does the little twerp give you the creeps too, or is it just me?"

Gunn was pretty sure Connor could still hear everything, and said, "I'll be right back Wes."

Wesley nodded.

Gunn went into the lobby and saw Connor just standing there. Gunn put an arm around Connor's shoulders. He said, "Hey kiddo, you know you can't believe anything Angelus says."

Connor just nodded. Gunn gave him a quick hug and said, "Thank you for listening to me and going upstairs. Now I know your super ears can hear everything that goes on down in the basement when you're in the lobby, so I want you to go up to your room."

Connor pushed away and said, "But I…."

Gunn broke in, "No. He's hurting you Connor, and he's doing it on purpose. You go up and take Julie with you. I promise to get you if we get any information."

Connor took a few seconds to think it over and then nodded. He went over to Julie, who was more then ready to take a break from the research. As Gunn was about to go down, Wesley opened the basement door and said, "Angelus wants some blood."

Gunn looked at Fred. She said, "I'll bring some down."

Gunn nodded and went down with Wesley.

Angelus said, "What else have ya got up your sleeve Wes? Or is this your entire plan?"

Wesley said, "Do you remember the Beast from your past?"

"Yes."

"Why doesn't Angel?"

"Who knows. Who cares?"

"Tell me about the Beast."

Angelus turned to Gunn and said, "Where's my blood?"

"Coming. Tell us about the Beast."

"Slow witted big guy. A lot like you really, except I think he's actually trying to expand his horizons which is more then I can say for you. But hey, sticking to what you do best is gonna go a long way towards keeping you alive…. Well you know, longer then most once I get free."

Gunn said, "I don't see that happening."

Angelus patronized, "I'm sure you don't."

The door to the stairs opened, and all three men looked up to see Fred brining a cup of blood down. Angelus gripped the bars and leaned his body against it. He closed his eyes and said, "Fred. You smell all fresh and sweet."

He opened his eyes again and said, "You're a little boney for my tastes, but I can understand Wesley's little schoolboy crush."

Fred darted her eyes over to Wesley with surprise. Wesley looked away, and Gunn glared over at him. Angelus smiled and looked at Wesley. "Oh please, like it's a big shock. But in all honesty Wes, she's really not so sweet." He turned back to Fred and continued, "I hear you in the middle of the night. The things you say and do with Gunn. So dirty, Angel finds himself reaching under the covers even when he tries not to."

Fred looked properly disgusted, and Angelus said, "Or at least he used to. But that was a while ago, before you killed that old professor of yours."

Gunn broke in with, "She didn't…."

Angelus gave a little cheer and said, "Ha! I knew it! Gunn was playing the hero."

Fred and Gunn exchanged a look.

Angelus shook his head. "Too bad Fred's too much of a bitch to appreciate what you did for her." 

Fred glared at Angelus and said, "The only bitch down here is the one behind bars."

Angelus smiled and said, "Oooh, feisty. We'll see how long you can keep it up when I'm raping you to death."

Wesley said, "Enough!"

Angelus agreed and said, "My blood if you don't mind."

Fred walked over and put the glass on a cart. She pushed the cart over to be in reaching distance of Angelus. Instead of taking the glass of blood, Angelus kicked the cart, which hit Fred's legs and knocked her forward onto the cart. Angel had her back against the cage bars with her body blocking his before either Gunn or Wesley could react. He said in Fred's ear, "Not pig's blood sweet heart, human blood or nothing."

Gunn held up his crossbow and said, "Let her go! You hurt her, and we'll kill you. You don't have anywhere to run, so maybe you're the one who needs a better plan."

Angelus sniffed at Fred's hair and let out a moan. He cupped her breast gently and played with her nipple with one hand, and used his other hand to choke her, cutting off her airway. He said to Gunn, "You seem to think I want to live. Kill me. That's fine. Better then getting my soul back."

Gunn shook his head and started to put his crossbow down. He said, "Okay, let's just talk about this."

Wesley shot Angel in the shoulder with a tranquilizer dart, and Angel let go of Fred, and grabbed the dart out as quickly as he could, but still passed out. Fred slumped a little and put her hands on her throat as she gasped in some air. Gunn went to her, put a hand on her shoulder, and said, "Are you okay?"

She looked shaken but nodded her head that she was. Gunn pulled her into a comforting hug, and Wesley couldn't stand it. He said to Gunn, "Never put you weapon down, that's an amateur's mistake."

Gunn glared at Wesley's back as he went up the stairs.

Once they were alone, Fred said, "So stupid of me to get caught like that."

Gunn let her go and shook his head. "It could have happened to any of us. Don't beat yourself up about it."

Fred said, "I…. I think I want to take a shower."

Gunn nodded and said, "I'll keep an eye on Angelus. You go ahead."

Fred went upstairs still somewhat shaky. She went through the lobby and up the stairs to the rooms. She passed Connor's room on the way to hers, and his door opened. He said, "Any news?"

Fred shook her head and told him an abbreviated version of what had happened. He said, "Are you okay?"

Fred nodded that she was and then continued to her room. Connor left his door open and turned back to Julie who was sitting on his bed. He said, "I guess there's no reason to stay up here if Angelus is going to be out for a couple of hours again."

Julie walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and gave him a passionate kiss. She said, "I can think of a couple."

Connor closed his door and followed her to the bed.

Half an hour later Connor and Julie went back down to the lobby. Lorne and Wesley were looking through books, and Julie went to join them. Connor heard Fred coming back down the stairs too, and looked up to see that she was in a new outfit. He went down to see Gunn in the basement. Gunn looked up and said, "Hey, where's your crutch?"

Connor held his foot up and said, "Feels better. It's mostly healed. Should be good as new by tonight."

Gunn nodded accepting that answer, and then looked back at Angelus passed out on the ground.

Connor said, "Hey, Fred told me what happened."

Gunn shook his head and said, "He had her…. And I just froze."

"You took Angelus' attention away from Wesley long enough for him to tranquilize him. Fred isn't hurt, so I'd say we won that round. But Angelus is right that we have no leverage. It's kind of a bad plan really. Why should he tell us anything?"

Gunn sighed and shook his head not knowing the answer. Connor said, "I can stay down here and watch him if you want. Fred was just coming back to the lobby a second ago."

Gunn thought about it for a few seconds. He did want to check on her, but he didn't want to leave Connor alone with Angelus because he might wake up. Fred won out in Gunn's mind, and he nodded. "Okay, but the second he starts to stir, you come and yell at us that he's waking up. I don't want you alone with him. You hear?"

Connor nodded and put out his hand for the crossbow. Gunn handed it to him and went upstairs.

Fred felt better now that she had new clothes on, but she could still feel Angelus' hands on her, and it made her skin crawl. She saw Wesley in the lobby and realized she hadn't thanked him. Wesley looked up as she was coming down, and he made the excuse of getting another book so that he could leave the room, not wanting to see her going down to get comfort from Gunn.

Fred followed him into the back office where they had spent many hours together doing research. She said, "Wesley?"

He looked up from his book surprised that she was coming to see him. "Yes?"

"I… I just wanted to say thank you for saving me back there. I… It was stupid of me to get so close." 

"Nonsense, anyone could make the same mistake."

She shook her head and said, "I guess I'm just rattled with all the twisted things Angelus has been telling us. Like about the way you feel…. about me."

Wesley saw the way she was looking at him, and couldn't deny himself any longer. He took the two steps that separated them, put his hand on the back of her head, and kissed her on the mouth with a need he had denied for over a year. Fred was too shocked at first to respond, but less then a second into it she kissed him back. They broke apart breathing hard and looked into each other's eyes.

Then Gunn's voice came to them from the main part of the lobby, "Fred?"

Fred and Wesley jumped apart, and Wesley immediately started looking at the book he had in his hand. Gunn was there a second later. He said, "Fred? How are you….."

Gunn looked back and forth between Fred's guilty look and Wesley's concentration in his book, and knew something had gone on. He said, "Am I interrupting something?"

Fred looked nervous and guilty at the same time and said, "Of course not. Just….. research."

Gunn glared at Wesley and said, "Yeah, I'll bet."

Fred put a hand on his arm and said, "Charles I…."

He jerked his arm away and said, "I was just coming up to check on you, but I can see you're doing fine. I'm gonna go take a walk."

Fred called after him, "Charles…."

Wesley called, "It's not safe out there without the sun."

Gunn ignored them both and went out the door. He hoped Wesley was right, because right about now he needed something to kill. Gunn pulled the stake out of his leg strap and stated walking away from the hotel. He only had to go three blocks before finding a group of three vampires. He attacked in a rage, and killed the first one before any of them even knew he had a stake in his hand. The other two put up a pretty good fight, but Gunn was able to kill them both within a couple of minutes. He stood there breathing hard as the dust settled.

He looked around and saw more vampires headed his way from two different directions. He knew he would be outnumbered, and ran back to the hotel. He made it into the door, and noticed that Fred and Wesley were still in the backroom. He shook his head hating the situation, and decided to go keep Connor company downstairs.

Connor could hear what was going on in the lobby and was worried about Gunn. He thought about going upstairs to go out with Gunn, but then he heard a noise from the cage. He turned and saw Angelus was sitting up and looking at him. Connor looked at his watch and wondered why Angelus woke up already when it had only been about half an hour. As if reading his mind Angelus held up the dart and said, "Pulled it out before all of it was injected into me."

Angelus threw the dart at Connor's chest, but Connor was able to duck in time. Connor stood and pointed the crossbow at Angelus. Angelus looked around and said, "Just you and me? How did you swing that one son? Did you have to kill everyone else?"

"You can hear them upstairs as well as I can."

Angelus spread his arms open and said, "Okay, so here I am. You have my undivided attention. What do you want to know?"

"How to kill the Beast."

"You can't."

"I don't believe you."

"But I can. You let me out, and I'll go kill him."

Connor smiled and shook his head. "Nice try, but no."

Angelus got an intense look. "You know Angel has lied to you Connor. You're not human. You're as much of a demon as I am."

"That's a lie."

"What did Holtz have to say about that?"

Connor looked away and didn't answer. Angelus continued, "That's right. He warned you about the demon that is always inside you, just like I'm always inside Angel. We could band together Connor. You could let your evil side loose, and together we could go on a rampage in the perpetual night. Let the Destroyer out to play, and let me out."

Connor shook his head. "No Angelus. I'm not letting you out."

Angelus sighed. "That's the real problem with you. You aren't pure good like Angel, and you aren't pure evil like me, you're somewhere in the middle. It makes both of us sick. He wants to not see the evil in you, but he does. The only thing that makes it better for him is being able to smack you around when you've let a little too much of your inner demon out."

Connor was losing his cool, and he could feel his emotions running rampant under the surface. He shook his head no, but Angelus could tell he was starting to believe him. He continued. "You think he doesn't enjoy it? You think he doesn't get off on spanking you? He loves hurting you, just like Holtz did. But all three of us are continually irritated by how quickly you break down and cry. What kind of a man cries because of a little spanking? But then you cry all the time. It's really sickening. Makes my stomach turn when I think about how often you have tears on your face."

Angelus imitated Connor's voice and gave a couple of fake sniffs and said, "They all died because of me Dad."

He went back to his normal voice and glared at Connor, "Of course they all died because of you stupid. Be proud of it! Don't run away and hide from it! Don't give in to Angel when he tells you to say it's not your fault. What would Holtz think about how quickly you break down and let Angel control you? Didn't he train you better then that?"

Connor's stomach was churning, and he felt himself tearing up, even though it was the one thing he didn't want to do in front of Angelus. He turned around and headed for the stairs, wanting to get away, and wanting to tell everyone Angelus was awake. Angelus shouted in a stern voice, which sounded exactly like the tone Angel used when Connor was in trouble, "Connor!"

Connor stopped automatically half way up the stairs. Angelus said, "Get your ass back down here. Daddy's not done talking yet."

Connor felt the tears on his face as Angelus repeated the same line Angel had used right after getting back from the ocean.

Connor stayed where he was, unable to make the decision to go up or down. Angelus shook his head smelling the tears. "And here you are crying again. What a pussy. Really Connor, the only thing I think your good for is to eat. Angel never told you, but he's tasted you before."

Connor turned towards Angelus in confusion and horror, unable to look away or go upstairs. Angelus smiled and nodded. "When you were a baby. That's how I know you're a demon. Your blood is different. A lot like a Slayer's blood, but not quite the same. I can't wait to get loose so I can suck you dry. I enjoyed eating my family back in the day, but that was more about revenge. You I just want to eat because you taste good."

Connor thought maybe he was going to be sick, and the door to the stairs opened. Gunn walked in and saw the look on Connor's face. He looked over at Angelus who was smiling with satisfaction. Gunn walked down to Connor and said, "Go back to your room."

Connor just stood there in a daze. Gunn swatted Connor as hard as he could, and it was enough to get Connor out of his trance. He looked over at Gunn who said again, "Go up to your room."

Angelus said, "Yeah, go to your room cry baby. No one wants to see you breaking down _again_."

Gunn grabbed the crossbow from Connor and shot Angelus in the stomach. Angelus looked down at the arrow and said, "You missed."

Gunn shook his head, "No I didn't."

Gunn grabbed Connor's arm and walked them both up the stairs. Gunn saw Lorne and said, "Go keep an eye on Angelus, but watch out, he has an arrow. I need to talk with Wesley."

Lorne could see high emotions all around, and went downstairs, taking the crossbow from Gunn on his way.

Julie saw Connor had tears on his face and she said with concern, "Connor?"

He wiped at his face, angry at himself for letting the monster's words get to him. Gunn let go of Connor and called out, "Wesley! Fred! We need to talk."

Fred and Wesley came out from the back room. Julie came out from behind the front desk to stand next to Connor and put her hand in his. Gunn walked over to Wesley and got in his face when he said, "This plan isn't working! Go get Wo Pang and have him put Angel's soul back before it's too late." 

Wesley shook his head, "Did you forget that Angel agreed with this plan? He wouldn't want us to put his soul back so quickly. He would want us to try everything possible to get that information out of Angelus."

"How do you plan to do that Wes? He's flat out refused to help, and we have nothing he wants that we can use as a bribe! This was a bad plan from the start. End it now!"

Fred broke in, "Charles…."

Wesley talked over her, "You've let your emotions over the things Angelus said get the better of you."

"What about the things he said that were true Wes? What exactly were you and Fred doing when I walked in on you?"

Wesley got angry himself and said, "You leave Fred out of this."

"Why should I? You can't seem to!"

Wesley glared at Gunn and said, "Do you want to take this outside?"

Gunn said, "Why bother?" and punched Wesley in the face.

Wesley wasn't about to let it go, and lunged at Gunn, punching him both in the gut and the face. Fred yelled, "Stop it! Both of you!"

They both ignored her and tossed a couple more punches each. Connor stood there not sure what to do. He thought he should try to stop them, but they were the adults, they were the ones left in charge, so he didn't feel it was his place. When Fred saw they weren't stopping, she walked over to them to try and get in between them. She was behind Gunn when he pulled his arm back to throw another punch at Wesley. His elbow rammed into Fred's temple and knocked her back.

Fred fell to the ground. Wesley and Gunn both looked down at her. Gunn said, 'Fred I….."

Wesley said, "Are you alright?"

Connor kneeled down next to Fred and glared up at the two men who already looked guilty. He said, "Look what your fighting has done."

He turned to Fred who had sat up a little bit, and said, "Are you okay?"

She felt her head and looked up at Gunn reproachfully and said, "I think so."

Connor put a hand out to help her stand up. She took his hand and stood up. Connor glared over at Gunn and Wesley and said, "We're all playing into his hands! We're fighting amongst ourselves instead of working together as a team to fight him."

Connor turned around and stalked off away from them. Wesley called him, "Connor…." 

Connor kept walking. Gunn said, "He's right. We need to stop and focus on the problem. Everything else can wait."

He turned to Fred and said, "Are you sure you're okay."

Fred wouldn't look at him but nodded yes. Gunn sighed feeling horrible and turned to Wesley. "Okay, so what else do you want to try to get information from him?"

Before Wesley could say anything, Connor came back into the room holding a butcher knife and a glass. Connor said, "We need leverage? Fine. Here it is."

Gunn held up his hands in a placating gesture and said, "Let's just calm down here Connor."

Connor took the knife and slit his left wrist along the vein to make sure it was bleeding profusely. Julie said with shock, "Connor!"

Connor set the knife down on the counter, and held his wrist over the glass. He watched as his blood spurted into the glass. He looked at Wesley and said, "You ask the questions and if he answers he can have this."

The room was silent for a few seconds. Wesley was the first to come to his senses and said, "It's worth a try. Let's go."

Gunn went behind the counter and got the first aid kit. He took it with him and followed Wesley and Connor downstairs. Fred and Julie went down as well.

Lorne went down and saw Angelus had pulled the arrow out of his stomach and was playing with it. Angelus took a good look at Lorne and then started singing an old Irish tune while thinking about some of the atrocities he had committed. Lorne winced at the images that were sent to him. After a few seconds Lorne said, "Keep it up cupcake, and I'll sing you the entire 'This One's For You' album."

Angelus frowned and stopped singing. Then he heard the fighting upstairs and said, "Well that didn't take long."

Very shortly the door opened, and the scent of Connor's blood filled the air. Angelus took a deep breath and said, "There's my boy."

He turned to Wesley and said, "How pathetic is it that the teenager figured out how to get answers out of me before you?"

Connor got as close to the cage as possible without being within Angelus' reach, and held the glass up with his wrist still spurting fresh blood into it. He said, "Toss the arrow out nicely, and tell us what you know about the Beast."

Angelus took another deep breath and tossed the arrow out at Connor's feet. He said, "It was 1789 when I first met the Beast."

Wesley said, "Prussia?"

Angelus nodded, "You did do your homework. There was a large massacre, so I followed the scent of blood, but to my disappointment there wasn't much left to eat. I met up with the Beast and found out the massacre was his way of attracting me to that spot. He wanted to make a deal with me. He wanted me to kill a group of powerful priestesses called the Svears. They could banish him, and they were magically protected from him, but not from me. I told him to screw off, because I'm not a team player. He was about to kill me for my answer, when the priestesses showed up, and banished him. I never saw him again until recently. I guess he just got back and picked up where he left off."

Angelus turned to Connor and held out his hand. "Blood. Now."

Connor gave Angelus a look of hate and tossed the glass full of blood against the far wall away from Angelus. It shattered, and the blood splashed and ran down the wall. Connor turned back to Angelus with a triumphant smirk. Angelus growled low in his throat and his eyes turned yellow. Connor spit out, "Smell it all day and go hungry."

Angelus glared and said, "Better watch it Connor. We all know how well revenge usually works out for you. The more you piss me off, the longer I'll keep you alive when I get free."

Wesley said, "You won't be getting free."

Gunn grabbed Connor's wrist and put some gauze over the wound while applying direct pressure to stop the bleeding. He said, "Come on. Let's get you fixed up."

Connor let Gunn lead him upstairs to get his wound cleaned up. Wesley turned to Lorne and said, "Can you watch him please while we check out this new information?"

Lorne nodded. Angelus said, "I doubt you can quit your petty squabbling long enough to get anything figured out. Nice fight with Gunn by the way."

Angelus turned to Fred who was standing on the stairs next to Julie and said, "I can see why you'd go for Wes over Gunn. What can you and Gun talk about really? He doesn't understand half of what you say. At least Wesley can keep up with your intellect. And he's not so bad looking. Of course the fact that he's been screwing Lilah for a few months kinda takes the shine off."

Fred laughed a little and said, "Lilah?"

She looked at Wesley ready for him to deny it, but he just looked embarrassed, and she knew it was true. She mumbled, "Oh….. Well….. It's none of my business really."

Wesley said, "Fred…."

She headed up the stairs and said, "We really need to find out everything we can about the Svear priestesses."

Angelus made eye contact with Julie for a second, but she fled up the stairs before he could say anything to her. Soon Lorne and Angelus were alone again.

In the bathroom Gunn inspected Connor's cut. He said, "It really needs stitches."

Connor nodded and said, "Okay. Do it."

Gunn shook his head. "I'm not a doctor Connor. We need to go to the emergency room."

Connor shook his head and dug through the first aid kit to find the needle. He said, "Holtz sewed me up more then once. It won't get infected, and we'll need to rip the stitches out in about three hours or else the skin will start to attach to the stitches. But after three hours the wound will stay together and the stitches won't be needed."

Gunn just shook his head feeling bad for Connor. "I don't even want to know how many times you had to get stitches to figure that out."

Connor handed him a needle and some thread. Gunn took the needle. "I still don't like it. How do you know it won't get infected?"

Connor looked off into the distance. "The first time Holtz got a serious injury I was eight. We had both been injured by the same animal, and we had to stitch each other up. Holtz's wound got infected. A few days later I had to cut the infected skin away and burn the wound closed. Father said I would have to tie him down to do it, and ignore his screams."

Connor looked back at Gunn. "My wound had already healed, and it had been bigger to start with. None of my wounds ever got infected, and we didn't have any disinfectant in Quor-Toth."

Gunn nodded and threaded the needle with some black thread. He gave Connor three stitches on his wrist, and wasn't surprised when Connor didn't even flinch. He put some disinfectant on it anyway, and then bandaged it up. Once the first aid kit was closed back up Gunn half sat, half leaned against the bathroom sink, crossed his arms, and said, "What did I tell you to do as soon as Angelus woke up?"

Connor was sitting on the lid of the toilet, and just looked at his lap as he said, "You were gone when he woke up."

Gunn said, 'Was everyone gone?"

"No."

"Then why didn't you get someone else?"

Connor shrugged as if he didn't know the answer. Gunn sighed and asked, "What did he tell you?"

Connor shook his head not wanting to say, thinking somehow that might make it real. What if Gunn agreed?

Gunn put a hand on Connor's shoulder. "I got so upset by the things Angelus said I ran out of here alone and put myself in danger. I also started a physical fight with Wes which ended up hurting Fred. And I'm pretty sure whatever he said to you is worse then what he said to me. So before you go off the deep end like I did, tell me what he said to you."

Gunn could barely hear Connor's voice when he finally responded, "He said I'm a demon. He knows because Angel tasted my blood, and it's not normal. He… he said…."

Connor shook his head. Gunn said gently, "He said what?"

"Angel enjoys spanking me, but hates that I cry and break down so easily."

Gunn felt sick and a swear word came out before he could stop it. Connor looked up at Gunn, and Gunn could tell Connor was expecting him to confirm the things Angelus had said. Gunn squatted down so they were eye to eye and said, "It's not true Connor. Angel hates spanking you."

Connor looked back at his lap, and didn't comment. Gunn said, "Hey."

Connor made eye contact again. "He hates to see you hurt, and hates it even more when he's the one who hurts you. I've seen his face when he's about to go do it. He looks like he's going to his own execution, and when he's done he look like he wishes someone would kill him and put him out of his misery. He hates it."

Connor's eyes filled, wanting to believe Gunn. Gunn said, "All of us here at the hotel hate it. But you know what we hate even more?"

Connor shook his head no. "The thought of you getting yourself killed if he didn't do it."

Connor felt the tears spill down his face and wiped at them angrily. Gunn continued, "None of us think you're weak, and neither does Angel. Someone who was weak would have never made it out of your childhood Connor."

Connor looked away and said, "Demons aren't weak."

"And demons aren't all bad. I don't think you're a demon Connor, but so what if you are? Lorne is, and he's as pure of heart as they come. Cordy was half demon, and her demon half helped heal you when you first got here. Demon doesn't equal bad, no matter what Holtz told you."

Connor gave a slight nod even though he didn't exactly believe it. Then he said, "Did Angel have my blood when I was a baby?"

Gunn looked away this time, and stood back up to lean against the sink. "Yes."

"How? Did he bite me?"

"Of course not!"

"Then how?"

"When you were born we took you to the hospital to get you checked out. We didn't know it at the time, but there were some people there who stole some of your blood when you were taken to another room for testing. Then they put little drops of it in the pig blood Angel was drinking."

"So he was right. Angel did have my blood, and he does know what it tastes like."

"Maybe that part of it was true, but not the rest."

They were silent for a few seconds both caught up in their own thoughts. Gunn broke the silence with, "We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you had listened to me, and done what I told you to do."

Connor gave him a sincere, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are, especially after the head trip Angelus put you on, which was the thing I was trying to protect you from in the first place. You're on thin ice with me Connor, and I don't think you wanna find out what happens when you break it."

Connor nodded in understanding. Gunn said, "Come on." and they both walked out to the lobby.


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Note: This chapter has spoilers for the episodes 'Soulless', 'Calvary', and 'Salvage'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 24

After half an hour of research, the team found out that some descendents of the Svear priestesses were alive and well, and living in LA. Wesley said, "I'll go check it out. Connor, do you feel up to coming along as backup?"

Connor was a little surprised that Wesley would ask him, but said, "Sure."

Gunn asked, "How's the ankle?"

"Not perfect yet, but as long as I don't kick anything tonight, it should be good as new tomorrow."

Gunn nodded and said, "Then you'd better not kick anything while you're gone."

"Okay." Connor was pleased Gunn was letting him go.

Wesley headed out and Connor followed. Julie called out, "Be careful."

By the time they got to the car Connor had had time to think about it, and he said, "You took me because you're worried about fighting with Gunn if he came."

Wesley paused for a second and then said, "Yes."

"Good idea."

Wesley turned on the radio so they could listen to the news while they drove. They made it to the house the priestesses lived in without incident. When they pulled up, Wesley got a gun out of his glove box and tucked it into the back of his pants. Then he got out a dagger and handed it to Connor. "Just in case."

Instead of taking the dagger, he lifted up his pant leg and showed Wesley that he already had his own. Wesley put his dagger away and said, "Follow my lead."

Wesley knocked on the door, and when no one answered he tried it. It was open. The second they opened the door Connor was hit with the smell of human blood. Connor got out his dagger and whispered, "Something is wrong here."

Wesley got out his gun and started searching the house silently. They found bodies in the living room and kitchen. There were six bodies in all, three children, a mother, a father, and someone who looked like a grandmother. Connor touched the mother's neck and said, "No pulse but still warm. It's a recent kill."

"The Beast?"

"No. His scent isn't here."

Wesley checked the older woman and said, "She has a pulse."

He looked at her stomach wound and knew it was a fatal wound. He patted the side of her face and said, "Can you hear me?"

The woman's eyes fluttered and closed again. Wesley said, "Get me a glass of water."

Connor went and found a cup from the cupboard and got some water. Wesley put his arm beneath the woman's shoulders and pulled her up into a half sitting position. She groaned in pain. Wesley dipped his fingers in the water and flicked some in the woman's face. She shook her head slightly and opened her eyes.

Wesley said, "Who did this to you?"

A very weak voice came from the woman, "Who are you?"

"We're trying to kill the Beast and bring back the sun. We were coming to get your help when we found you. Did the Beast do this to you?"

"Not himself, but he had it done."

"How can we banish him, or kill him?"

"You can't banish him now that we're gone. We found references to killing him, but no solid answers. Passages about stabbing him with a piece of himself, but it's unclear."

Wesley said, "Is there anything else you can tell us, that will help us kill him?"

The woman didn't answer, and her head fell backwards as she lost consciousness again. Connor said, "Should we take her to the hospital?"

Wesley lay her back down on the floor and said, "No."

"But she….." 

"Is already dead, even if she still has a pulse."

Connor shook his head no, but Wesley stood up and started searching the house for any information that might be useful. Connor watched the woman, and put his hand in hers. A few minutes later her breathing stopped, and he let it go. He went to find Wesley who was in the kitchen.

Wesley was collecting books and paperwork that were all over the kitchen table and counter. Connor looked around to try and help. He saw a little side table by the phone and he walked over to it. He saw six different photographs, all of the family at different times, and places. One especially fascinated him and he picked it up to take a closer look. It was a picture of the father holding his son who was about eight, which wouldn't be so odd in itself, but they were looking at each other and smiling with obvious love for one another. Connor put it down and his eye fell on a few cards. They were birthday cards for the father. He opened each one and looked at the words of love and happiness written by all three children. He looked into the living room at the dead bodies and felt his stomach turning.

Connor dropped the card and ran out the front door, ignoring Wesley when he called out his name. Connor stumbled into the yard and puked. Once he was done, he spit a few times, and then wiped at his mouth. Once he was sure that his stomach was done rebelling, he walked back and sat down on the front porch stairs.

Wesley had gone to the door and seen Connor throwing up. He sighed and went back into the house to get everything he thought he could use. A few seconds later he came out with a handful of books and papers, and closed the front door behind him. He looked at the back of Connor and tried to think of something to say. He went and sat on the steps next to Connor and once he saw Connor's profile he could tell Connor was crying. Wesley put a hand on Connor's shoulder, but Connor moved away from the touch.

Wesley put his hand down, and said, "I'm sorry you had to see her die."

Connor shook his head. "It's not that…. It's….. family. They were happy."

Wesley didn't know what to say to make it better. "We need to get back. Let's go."

Connor stood up, and as they were walking to the car they ran into three vampires. Connor made sure not to kick while he was fighting, and still had no trouble killing two of them while Wesley killed the other. A few minutes into the ride Connor said, "What's the plan now?"

"Fred and I will look through the information here, and see what we find that is useful."

"What about Angel? Shouldn't we get him back now? I'm pretty sure after what I did he won't give us anymore information."

Wesley nodded. "About that…. I know why you did it, but it was an impulsive move, and it was detrimental to our goals. If you had given him the blood, he might have been more likely to help us out again if this lead hadn't paid off. By throwing the blood, you got rid of our leverage."

Connor sneered, "You didn't even have any leverage before I came up with the idea, so don't tell me how I handled it wrong."

Wesley's tone showed irritation as he said, "You may have come up with the idea, but that doesn't mean the rest of us have no say in its execution. We work a team. When one of us has an idea, we all work together to put it into action, but you acted on your own when you threw the blood. Until your father is back, I'm leading the team, so next time you think about interrupting a plan half way through, you ask me first."

Connor crossed his arms slouched down in his chair and muttered, "Whatever. You still didn't answer my question."

Wesley clenched his jaw and ground out, "Do not become impudent with me, Connor."

Connor rolled his eyes and looked out the window refusing to comment. A few seconds later Wesley said, "As soon as Fred and I look over this information, and verify what the priestess told us, then I will go to get Wo Pang, and have him put Angel's soul back."

Connor didn't comment, and the rest of the car ride was silent.

Gunn watched Wesley and Connor leave. He knew they would be gone for at least an hour with the travel time involved, so he thought it would be a good time to talk to Fred. He had had some time to think things over while they were trying to find information on the Svear priestesses, and he had a question he wanted to ask her.

Julie and Fred were looking in a book together when Gunn closed his book and said, "Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute Fred?"

Fred scrutinized Gunn, trying to see what kind of conversation was going to occur, but Gunn's face was unreadable. She nodded and started towards the kitchen as she said to Julie, "Just put a sticky note on any of the pages you think might be relevant."

Julie said, "Okay."

Once they got to the kitchen Gunn blurted out, "Things will never be the same between us again. We tried to get back what we had after… the professor, but it just…. It hasn't worked."

Fred looked away and said, "I've tried but….."

"But it just isn't working."

Fred's eyes filled and she said, "I do love you Charles."

Gunn put a hand on her face as he saw one tear fall, and wiped it away with his thumb. "I love you too, but it's not enough. When I walked in on you and Wesley…. You didn't look like you were hating it."

Fred shook her head no, not sure who she was trying to convince, him or herself. Gunn said, "Unless you tell me right now that you want to try to make it work still, I'm gonna go move my stuff into another room."

Fred was frozen. She couldn't get the words to come out of her throat. After a few seconds Gunn gave her a nod and let her go. He turned and walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to their room. Fred stayed in the kitchen, sat down in a chair, and stared into space. She thought she should cry, but she couldn't get that to come out either.

Gunn walked into the room they had shared for over a year now, and didn't know where to start. He looked around and decided to start by picking a new room. He walked down the hall and opened a few different rooms. They all looked pretty much the same, so eventually just picked one. He had all his belongings in his new room before Wesley and Connor got home. Once he was done, he sat on his new bed and looked around feeling out of place. He took a deep breath, and went down to the lobby.

Wesley and Connor walked into the lobby. Fred looked up and said, "What did you find out?"

Before Wesley could answer, Connor asked, "Where's Julie?"

Gunn answered, "About fifteen minutes ago she said she needed a break from the reading, and went up to her room."

Connor turned and went up the stairs without saying anything else. Gunn called after him, "You okay Connor?"

Connor didn't answer. Gunn looked at Wesley who said, "He's angry with me, and most likely still upset about what happened at the house."

Fred asked, "What happened?"

Wesley walked over to the basement door and said, "Lorne, could you come here for a moment?"

Lorne came upstairs, and Wesley walked over to the lobby's counter. He spread out the books and papers he had taken from the house. He said, "When we arrived we found most of the priestesses slaughtered. One was still alive, and with her last words, she told me that while no one could banish the Beast except them. She also said we do have a chance to kill him. She said they had just recently found references to stabbing the Beast with a part of himself to kill him. I took all the relevant paperwork for us to look over."

Fred gave Wesley a happy look and said, "That's the first break we've gotten in a long time. Let me see."

She held out her hand, and he handed over the paperwork. She spread it out and started looking at it along with Lorne. Gunn said, "What about Connor? Why is he upset?"

Wesley sighed. "We were in the middle of gathering paperwork when he ran out of the house and vomited in the yard. I thought it was because of the dead bodies, and watching the woman die, but he said it had more to do with the fact that they had been a happy family. There were three children, a mother, and a father all dead along with the woman we talked to who was most likely the maternal grandmother."

Gunn nodded and asked, "Why was he mad at you?"

"I berated him for not giving his blood to Angelus."

Gunn glared and shouted, "You did what!"

Wesley glared back. "We finally found something we could use as leverage, and the boy tossed it away without a second thought to what that would mean for future interrogation."

Gunn just shook his head and said, "How can you be so heartless Wes?"

"How can you let your emotions blind you to the facts?"

Gunn almost punched Wesley again, but instead turned and walked away up the stairs to check on Connor. Lorne said, "You two need to find a balance so that we can all work together."

Wesley sighed, "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't tell me, tell him."

Wesley thought about that, and then started to look through some of the paperwork that was on the desk. Lorne started looking at it too. Then he said, "Should I go back down with the murdering psychopath, or would you like me to stay here and help look through paperwork. Personally I'm much more fond of option B."

Wesley said, "Angelus should be fine by himself for a little while. Angel made sure he couldn't get out."

Connor went to his room, and found Julie lying on his bed listening to some music. She sat up and said with a smile, "You're back."

Connor nodded and lay down next to her on the bed. She lay down as well, and rolled to her side so she was facing him. She said, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Me." 

She put a hand on his chest and said, "What do you mean?"

Connor looked at her with sincerity, "I see these people….. and their lives are…. Happy. I don't understand, and I can't relate. I saw a picture of a boy and his father, and they had so much love for each other, it was like I could touch it. I can't be like them. I'll always be messed up inside."

Julie put a hand on his face and said, "I don't believe that Connor. You can be happy. You can be like them. Can't you picture us together a few years down the road? Happy, married, and in our own home."

"Married?" Connor said in surprise.

"I'm not saying right now, I'm just saying try to imagine it in your head. There can be happiness in your future, just not in your past. Don't look at that picture you saw through the eyes of the boy, look at it through the eyes of the father, and that can be you."

Connor hadn't thought about that before, and it made him feel less hopeless. He tucked some of her red hair behind her ear and said reverently, "You're beautiful."

She lay her head down on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. They lay like that quietly until they heard a knock at the door. Julie got off, and Connor sat up. He said, "Come in."

Gunn opened the door and said, "I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you're okay."

Connor gave Gunn a faint smile and said, "Thanks. I'm okay now."

Gunn looked unsure, but Connor sounded pretty sure about it. "Okay. You know where I am if you want to talk."

Connor nodded. "Okay."

Angelus watched Lorne go upstairs, and waited until the group was involved with their own conversation before he said, "It's safe now. Everyone's upstairs."

A few seconds later there was a noise by the door that had access to the sewer system. Angelus could see it from his cage, and he smiled as he saw it open up. Lilah was on the other side of it. She put her lock picking set away into her pants pocket as she looked around. She turned to Angelus and whispered, "How did you know I was there?"

"I could smell you. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if they could smell you a few blocks away. You need a bath." He didn't miss the fact that she was holding a crowbar and an old looking book.

Lilah knew her appearance was disheveled, and it was true she hadn't bathed in well over a week, but that was a luxury she couldn't afford anymore. Her eyes kept darting to the stairs hoping no one would interrupt her. She said, "Angelus?"

He smiled at her, "The one and only."

She held up a book for him to see. "To kill the Beast you have to cut off his right horn, and stab him in the middle of the back with it."

He chuckled, "Why are you telling me? Go tell your ex."

Her eyes looked at the stairs again. "Why? He can't do the job. You're the only one strong enough, and I doubt even you can do it, but you're my best option."

Angelus shook his head, "Okay, but what makes you think I'll even try to kill the Beast for you?"

"Don't you want revenge? I know I do. He killed every single member of Wolfram and Hart. I am the only one left, and my existence isn't very pretty. With him out of the way I could at least go to a motel and wash up without worrying about getting eviscerated."

Angelus shrugged, "That is _so_ not my problem Honey."

"You kill the Beast for me, and I'll make sure whoever took out your soul can't put it back."

Angelus thought about it and finally nodded. "That's a good deal. I'll take it. You always were a good business woman Lilah. So break me out, and I'll go get him for you."

Lilah took a step towards the cage, but then thought again and said, "Step back."

Angelus smiled at her and took quite a few steps away from the bars of the cage. She said, "All the way to the other side."

Angelus stopped smiling and kept backing up until he was all the way there. Lilah knew they would most likely hear the breaking metal upstairs, so she would only get one shot. She stuck the crowbar in the lock, and wrenched it down towards her feet breaking the lock with one hard push. She quickly took the lock off and opened the door to Angelus' cage.

Angelus was in front of her before she could blink. He grabbed her and turned her so her back was to his front. He said, "But I am kind of parched. How about one for the road?"

Angelus changed face, but then heard someone on the stairs. Wesley was there, and had a crossbow aimed at him. Angelus picked Lilah up, and tossed her at the stairs towards Wesley. He ran for the sewer entrance and didn't look back, as he weaved his way through the familiar maze of tunnels.

Wesley, Fred, and Lorne were all looking through the paperwork from the priestesses when they heard a loud metal sound coming from the basement. Wesley grabbed the crossbow from the counter and ran to the top of the stairs. He saw Angelus was free, had Lilah by the waist, and was about to bite her neck. Wesley aimed the crossbow, but then had to drop it as Lilah came sailing towards him. He was able to partially catch her, but it knocked him back onto the stairs with her on top of him, which stopped anyone else from following Angelus.

Wesley looked at her and said, "Lilah?"

She quickly got off of him and put a hand over her abdomen, but not before Wesley saw there was blood there. As he stood he said, "Did Angelus injure you?"

She shook her head. "It's from the Beast. It won't heal."

Behind Wesley at the top of the stairs Lorne said, "What's Suckyoubitch doing here?"

Lilah gave him a little smile and said, "Making sure the Beast dies before he can get to me."

Wesley looked down at the open cage and saw the crowbar on the floor. He said with astonishment, "You let him out?"

Fred who was behind Lorne said, "Are you insane?"

"No sweetie, just selfish."

Wesley grabbed her arm roughly and gave her a shake. He ground out, "Angelus wouldn't kill the Beast for you even if he knew how. All you've accomplished is making our situation worse!"

Lilah smiled at him and sounded a little breathless when she said, "Mmm…. Did you want to take this little argument to the bedroom lover?"

Wesley let go of her with an expression of distaste. Lilah smiled and then walked back down the stairs. She retrieved her book from the floor and then handed it to Wesley. He looked at it and said, "Rhinehardt's Compendium? What about it?"

She took it from him and opened it to the correct page and handed it back. He saw a picture of the Beast and couldn't believe his eyes. He looked at the cover of the book again and said, "But I've been through this book more then once. There was no mention of the Beast."

Lilah said, "My copy isn't from around here."

Wesley looked up at Fred at the top of the stairs and she said, "Another dimension."

Everyone went up to the lobby, and Fred and Wesley stood side by side at the counter so they could both read the page at the same time. Once they had both read the passage Wesley looked at Lorne and said, "Go tell everyone to come down please."

A few seconds later Connor, Julie, and Gunn all came downstairs along with Lorne. Wesley said, "We know how to kill the Beast."

Connor said excitedly, "How?"

Fred showed him the book and said, "Cut off it's right horn, and stab him in the back with it."

Gunn smiled, "Great. So we get Angel back, let Connor track the Beast, and we all attack and distract him long enough for Angel to kill it."

Wesley looked away towards the basement door and said, "Yes, well that would be the plan except….."

Connor saw Wesley's look and knew something was wrong. He ran to the door and looked down at the empty cage. He couldn't believe it and whispered, "He's out."

Wesley continued, "Angelus has escaped."

Lorne said, "I beg to differ on that one. He didn't escape so much as he was let out."

Lorne glared at Lilah and Gunn said, "You let him out? Are you insane?"

Lilah looked at Wesley and said, "Why is everyone asking me that?"

Connor walked up to her, and grabbed her by the throat. He lifted her a few inches off the ground and said, "_You_ let him out?"

Wesley put a hand on Connor's shoulder and said, "Put her down."

Connor didn't look at Wesley, but shoved him hard enough to toss him a few feet away. Lilah was trying to get his hand off her throat and trying to talk, but nothing was coming out.

Connor never broke eye contact with her and said, "Every person he kills is blood on your hands."

He tossed her a few feet away from him, and she fell to the floor gasping and holding her neck. Connor turned and was about to head to the weapons cabinet, but Gunn was in his way. Gunn put a hand on Connor's shoulder and said, "You need to calm down."

Connor shoved Gunn a few feet away as well and yelled, "Don't you see what this means? I have to kill him now!"

Connor walked towards the weapons cabinet and got out a sword. Wesley went to the counter and picked up the dart gun with the tranquilizers. Fred saw it and said, "The dosage might be too high for him."

Wesley aimed it at Connor anyway. Connor had turned around and saw that Wesley was pointing the gun at his chest. Connor shook his head. "Before he had his soul taken out, Angel told me that if things went wrong, he expected me to kill him. Angelus is responsible for more deaths then any other living vampire. He has most likely already made his first kill. Angel would want us to stop this. We have to kill him."

Wesley said, "No, we don't. We will capture him alive. Put the sword away, and get a couple of tranquilizer guns. You track him, and Fred, Gunn, and I will all follow you. Once we find him, we all work together to tranquilize him. We bring him back here, and put his soul back. While we're gone Lorne will go get Wo Pang, so he is ready to do the job as soon as we arrive."

Lilah had gotten up from the floor and said, "Angelus has a much better chance of killing the Beast. Why do you think I let him out before you put the soul back? The Beast will see Angelus as an ally and let him get close. He also won't be expecting Angelus to kill him, so Angelus has surprise on his side as well."

Wesley didn't turn to her, but said, "The only flaw in your plan is that Angelus won't kill the Beast. He doesn't want the daylight back."

Fred asked Lilah, "How did you even know Angel's soul was out?"

Lilah gave her a vague; "I have connections. You can't use powerful magic like that and not expect there to be ripples."

Gunn hadn't fallen when Connor pushed him, and he had been slowly edging towards Connor while Wesley was talking. Once he was a couple of feet away he said, "Connor, look at me."

Connor did. "I know Angel told you you'd have to kill Angelus if he got lose. But he also told you that Wes was in charge of the team, and that I was in charge of you. You remember that part of the conversation?"

Connor gave him a faint nod, and his expression showed he was a little less sure of himself. Gunn continued, "Wes and I decide when it's time to put Angelus down. Not you. You may be the only one strong enough to do it when it comes time, but right now is not that time. Wesley and I are in agreement. You track him, and we tranquilize him. No killing yet. Not if there's any chance we can bring him back. Put the sword back."

Connor looked back and forth between Wesley and Gunn a couple of times. He looked over at Fred, Julie, and Lorne as well. He looked at the sword in his hand, and slowly turned around and put it away. He turned and said, "Okay, we try it your way first."

Wesley let his gun rest at his side instead of aiming it at Connor. He turned to Lorne and said, "I'll give you the address, and instructions for getting in to see Wo Pang, and you can go get him."

Lorne nodded. Wesley went to the counter and started writing some things down. Gunn took the step that separated him and Connor and grabbed his upper arm. He started walking the both of them to the basement door. Gunn said, "We'll be downstairs waiting for you guys."

Wesley could tell Gunn was going to try and get Connor under control. He didn't know if it would work or not, but he wanted to give them a few minutes alone. He turned to Fred and said, "Please gather the tranquilizer guns, and make sure they are all loaded for us."

Next he turned to Julie and said, "Please show Lilah to the room I use when I stay here, so she can take a shower, and then make her something to eat."

Lilah opened her mouth to protest, and Wesley turned to her and said, "I want to speak with you when I get back. Don't make me hunt you down."

Lilah had missed him. It didn't matter how pissed he was; he still looked good to her. She nodded and said, "I'll be here."

Wesley continued to write information for Lorne while the others did his bidding.

Connor let Gunn pull him over to the basement door. Once he was on the stairs Gunn let go of him, and Connor went down first. Gunn shut the door behind them, and walked down too. Gunn walked over and stood directly in front of Connor. Connor was expecting a few swats and a lot of yelling for the things he had said and done upstairs. He had been angry and scared because Angelus was loose, and now that the panic was settling down, he could see that he had over reacted. But to his surprise Gunn pulled him into a hug.

Connor waited a few seconds before hugging him back. As soon as he did Gunn said, "You're not in this alone Connor. You say you have to kill him like it's all up to you, but it's not. All of us are gonna work together to do that if that's the plan, just like we're all gonna work together to bring him back here. You're not the only one who's scared right now."

Connor closed his eyes for a second and did his best to believe Gunn. Connor let go first, and when he did Gunn put his hands on Connor's shoulders and said, "You were out of line upstairs. When Wesley or I tell you to do something, we expect you to do it, and if you don't, I guess we're gonna have to tranquilize you or tazer you, because like your father said, you're not going to be out of control just because he's not around."

Connor's eyes were wide with surprise at that statement. He said, "Tazer?"

Gunn nodded with a serious expression on his face, and pulled a tazer out of his pants pocket to show it to Connor. He said, "I don't want to use it, but if I have to, I will." 

Connor shook his head still not believing it and said, "But… I….. I thought…."

Gunn guessed, "You thought if you got out of line I would spank you like Angel does?"

Connor nodded. Gunn put the tazer back in his pocket and said, "And how did you think I was gonna get you over my lap if you didn't agree to go there?" 

Connor looked away thinking about it, and after a few seconds he said, "I wouldn't fight you over it."

"That's nice to hear Connor, but I want some insurance, because I've seen you fight Angel often enough over a punishment. Now I understand attacking Lilah. I kinda felt like doing it too after what she did, but you had no cause to attack me or Wes. The next time you push either one of us, you can count on a full blown spanking even if it's after you regain consciousness, but for now this will have to do."

Gunn put a hand on Connor's upper arm to turn him to the side, and gave him ten swats as hard as he could without doing damage to his hand. Connor stood still for it, and while it didn't exactly hurt, by the eighth swat it was uncomfortable. Gunn stopped and turned him back around to face him. He let go and said, "Start doing what we tell you to do."

There was a few seconds of silence while both Gunn and Connor thought about what the other had said and done. Then they heard a short knock on the door to the lobby, and a second later Wesley, and Fred came down holding six tranquilizer guns. Wesley asked, "Ready to go?"

Connor looked at Gunn who nodded that they were. Wesley tossed one gun to Connor, and two to Gunn. Connor headed for the sewer, and the three adults followed him as he tracked Angelus.

Connor led them through the tunnels, but before he even got three blocks away from the hotel, Angelus' trail led him up to the surface. Wesley realized if they were going to track on the streets, they would need a vehicle, because Connor was faster and had more stamina then any normal person, and the rest of them would slow him down. Wesley turned to Gunn and said, "Run back and get your truck. Connor can track faster if we follow by car, and if we catch Angelus, he can ride in the back on the way home."

Gunn nodded and set off at a run. Connor stood there twitchy and anxious to track. Gunn was back quickly and Fred and Wesley got in. Connor moved even quicker then before, and the truck followed.

Half an hour later, Connor stopped dead in his tracks, and the truck stopped behind him. All three adults got out ready for battle. Gunn went to Connor, who was standing there obviously perplexed. Gunn said, "What?"

Connor shook his head deep in thought. "His trail ends here."

Gunn did a three sixty, but didn't see Angelus anywhere. "Then where is he?"

Connor looked around as well and said, "Doesn't make sense. He would want to go where there were lots of people to feed on, but there's no one here."

Gunn looked back at Wesley. Wesley shook his head. "No. He wouldn't want to go where there were lots of people. He would want to go where he could do the most damage, and that isn't necessarily out here."

Connor looked horrified and said, "He doubled back… Julie."

Connor was about to run full speed back to the hotel, but Gunn grabbed his arm and said, "Back of the truck."

Connor looked ready to bolt. Gunn said, "You go there without us, and Angelus kills you along with Julie. You know you have a better chance with all of us."

Connor yanked his arm out of Gunn's grasp and reluctantly said, "Let's go."

Connor jumped into the back of the truck while the adults got in the front. Gunn went 80 miles an hour all the way back, only slowing to make turns.


	25. Chapter 25

Author's Note: This chapter has spoilers for the episodes 'Soulless', 'Calvary', and 'Salvage'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 25

Lilah hadn't had a hot shower in a while. It was blissful. She felt better then she had in weeks. When she got out, she saw that Julie had left some clean clothes for her. She suspected they were some leftover from Cordelia. She was grateful either way. She looked in the mirror and smiled at her reflection. She looked in the medicine cabinet, and found a first aid kit. She put some medication on the wound the Beast had made, and then taped some gauze over it. She got dressed, dried her hair, and went downstairs to see what Julie had made her to eat.

Julie was in the lobby looking at one of the books. She looked up as Lilah came down and said, "I didn't know what you would want, but I made you a sandwich."

Julie pointed to the plate that was a few feet away on the counter. Lilah nodded and said, "Thanks."

Lilah wasn't all that picky, and she hadn't eaten yet that day, so she ate it quickly without any other comments. Once she was done she looked over at Julie and said, "So what's your story?"

"Ummm…. Story?"

"Why are you here? How do you fit into the group?"

"I'm Connor's girlfriend."

"Why?"

Julie gave Lilah a glare, "Why not?"

Lilah smiled and said, "No reason. Just curiosity."

A male voice from the front door said, "Haven't you heard curiosity killed the cat Lilah?"

Lilah spun around to see Angelus standing just inside the lobby doors. Lilah moved quick and grabbed the only gun that was on the counter. She took aim and shot. It was a regular gun, not a tranquilizer. Angelus jumped out of the way, but a few bullets still hit him. Lilah kept shooting at him until the gun was empty. She tossed it, and searched for another weapon, but didn't see any that weren't in the cabinet on the other side of the lobby.

Angelus stood up and looked down at the two bullet holes in his side. He looked at Lilah and said, "This was a nice shirt. That's gonna cost you."

She turned and tried to make it to the weapon's cabinet, but Angelus was in front of her before she even made it half way. He smiled at her, and she took an involuntary step back. He sniffed her and said, "Did you freshen up just for me? I'm touched."

She said, "I can be a good asset to you Angelus…"

He kept smiling while he shook his head no at her. He said, "Tell you what. Since you did let me out, I'll give you a ten second head start."

Lilah turned and ran towards the lobby doors as Angelus shouted, "One….Two…"

Once she was gone, he looked over at Julie, who was looking at him with terror written on her face. He said, "I haven't decided on you yet. On the one hand, you really piss Angel off, so I kind of want to keep you alive just in case. But on the other hand, Connor is all doe eyed over you, so killing you would cause him pain which would be fun."

Julie didn't respond, but her face got even whiter then before, and her eyes rolled back as she fainted and fell to the ground.

Angelus gave her an irritated look and said, "Now you're pissing me off too. What kind of woman faints in this day and age? I'll be back for you."

Angelus left the hotel at a run and tracked Lilah. He caught up with her five blocks away. Lilah had just flat out ran, and hadn't tried to hide, knowing Angelus could smell her and track her no matter where she hid. Angelus caught her around the waist, and she screamed. He smiled as she struggled to get away. He said, "That's right sweetie, I always like the ones who fight back the best."

She did her best, but she was no match for him, and Angelus was too hungry to play around. He used one hand to tilt her head to the side, and bit her neck. Lilah kept fighting until the blood loss made her lose consciousness. As Angelus was drinking the last of her blood he heard tires screeching to a halt. He lifted his head up and looked over to see Connor, looking back at him.

Connor sat frozen for a second staring at Angelus in his natural state; vamped out, with blood on his face, and a dead body in his hands. Gunn, Wesley, and Fred all got out of the truck and pointed their guns at Angelus. Angelus looked over at Wesley and said, "She was kinda bitter for my tastes."

Time was in slow motion for Wesley staring at Angelus with his ex-lover in his arms. Without making the conscious decision to do it, he lifted both guns and fired repeatedly at Angelus.

Angelus held up Lilah and used her as a shield. Wesley was still shooting, but there were no more darts left in his gun. Angelus peeked out from behind Lilah and gave Wesley a nasty smile. "Did I hit a nerve Wes?"

Connor finally came out of his trance and jumped out of the back of the truck without his gun. He ran full force at Angelus, and leaned down slightly like a football player going for a tackle. He hit Lilah first, but knocked the both of them back quite a few feet, and Angelus let go of Lilah's dart ridden body as he fell.

Connor was sitting on top of Angelus and punching him in the face before Angelus had time to get up. Gunn yelled, "Get out of the way, I can't get a good shot with you in the way!"

Angelus got his bearings quickly, and grabbed both of Connor's fists, one in each hand. Connor struggled futilely to get away while Angelus held him tight, and kept holding both his fists in his hands as he stood up and pulled Connor to standing in front of him. Then father and son looked at each other for a second. Angelus went back to his human face, gave Connor a happy looking smile, and let go of one of Connor's fists long enough to punch the boy full force in the side of the head.

Connor went flying through the air and landed with a solid thud against a building which caused some of the bricks to crack. As soon as Gunn and Fred had a clear shot, they took it, but Angelus had turned and started running the other way, and they both missed.

Connor was a little dazed from the blow, and shook his head once. He looked over and saw Wesley kneel down beside Lilah and pick her upper body up in his arms. Gunn and Fred were firing still, but Angelus was too far away for them to hit now. Connor put a hand to the side of his head where Angelus had hit him and stood up. He saw Angelus was getting away, and knew he couldn't let that happen.

He staggered a couple of steps, and finally got his legs to work the way the way they were supposed to and broke into a run. He heard Gunn behind him yell, "You get your ass back here Connor! You stay with the group! Connor!"

Connor put a hundred and ten percent of his energy into chasing Angelus. Ten blocks away, Connor could tell he wouldn't be able to catch up, but he kept trying. Fifteen blocks away, Angelus suddenly stopped running and turned towards Connor with a smile.

Connor stopped abruptly too. Angelus said, "Let's have a training session son. Where's your weapon?"

Connor put up his fists and got into a fighting stance. "Don't need one."

Angelus laughed, and went for Connor. Angelus punched Connor in the face and stomach repeatedly while Connor tried to block and get his own punches in. But Angelus knew something that Connor was just now realizing. Angel had always held back when they were fighting.

Connor was shocked at the speed and force of the blows, and it was all he could do to keep his feet under him. Angelus gave him another particularly vicious blow to the head, and Connor stumbled backwards and fell on his ass. Connor quickly kicked out his feet to try and trip Angelus, but Angelus just stepped out of the way.

Angelus knelt down in front of Connor and said, "You lose boy. What would Holtz think? Is this the revenge he envisioned for me, after I ate his wife and son and turned his daughter? Wanna try again?"

Connor felt hatred rip through him. He got up and lunged at Angelus striking out with everything he had. He got in two solid blows, and then found himself sailing through the air again when Angelus kicked him in the stomach. Angelus walked over to Connor who was holding his stomach and spitting out some blood. Angelus pulled Connor up by his hair, and then pulled Connor up tight against his body so that Connor's back was to his front. Angelus held Connor's waist with one hand and tilted his head to the side with the other.

Angelus bit Connor's neck and started drinking. Connor's eyes went wide with shock and pain, and then he heard Angelus make a noise of pleasure in the back of his throat as he drank. The hair stood up on the back of Connor's neck as he recognized that sound. It was the same noise he himself made when he took the first bite of a really good piece of pizza.

Connor's eyes focused further away as he heard and saw Gunn running towards him about a block away. Angelus stopped drinking and licked the wound once. Angelus whispered in Connor's ear, "You taste so good it's hard to stop. But I'm not done playing with you yet."

Angelus saw Gunn was getting closer, so he let go of Connor and used his foot to kick Connor in the middle of the back, which sent him flying a few feet forward. Angelus turned and ran.

Gunn tried shooting Angelus one more time, but knew he was out of range. Gunn ran up to Connor, who had landed face first on the pavement, and who hadn't gotten up. Gunn was breathing hard, and his muscles were protesting running at full speed for the past fifteen blocks. He got down on his knees next to Connor, put a hand on his shoulder, and turned him over.

Gunn looked Connor over, and saw the wound in the neck, and some swelling and cuts on a couple of places on his head from the fight with Angelus. But what he noticed the most was the haunted expression on Connor's face. Connor pushed himself up to sitting, and looked at Gunn. He whispered, "That's not my father."

Gunn wasn't sure if Connor's tone was more shock or sorrow, but he could tell Connor was talking more to himself then anyone else. Gunn pulled Connor into a hug and said, "I know."

Connor whispered again, "Not my father."

Gunn held him tighter as Connor started to cry. A few seconds later Gunn saw his truck pull up with Fred driving. Wesley was in the back, still holding Lilah in his arms, and the back of the truck was littered with the darts he had taken out of her. Gunn stood and pulled Connor up with him. He said gently, "Come on."

Gunn kept an arm around Connor as they walked to the truck. Connor kept his head down and kept crying. Gunn sat in the middle, and kept an arm around Connor on the short ride back to the hotel. Once Connor saw it, he looked at Gunn and said, "Julie."

Gunn let Connor go, and Connor ran into the hotel to find her, while Gunn walked in behind him. Connor found Julie on the floor and suspected the worst. He ran to her, and touched her face as he said, "Julie?"

Her eyes fluttered open. He took a deep breath with relief and picked her up of the floor. She slowly became aware of what was going on around her. She looked up at Connor and said, "You're hurt."

Connor walked over to the round couch and set Julie down on it. He looked and felt her over for injuries as he said, "Did Angelus hurt you?"

She thought about it for a second and said, "I don't think so. I think I fainted."

Once Connor was satisfied that she wasn't hurt he looked at her and said, "Thank God you're okay."

Julie put both her hands on his face as she looked at his injuries and said, "He did this to you?"

Connor pulled away from her and stood up. He muttered, "We fought. I lost."

Outside, Wesley picked Lilah up, and got out of the back of the truck. Fred got out and watched Wesley. When she had first heard that Wesley had been sleeping with Lilah, she had been disgusted that he would lower himself to do something so intimate with her. But watching him now, Fred could tell that Wesley had had some kind of feelings for Lilah. She put a hand on his shoulder as he stood there holding and looking at Lilah. Wesley turned and looked at Fred. "I should have known… Should have realized what Angelus would try." 

Fred shook her head. "It's not your fault Wes. Lilah's the one who let him out in the first place. She'd still be alive if she'd just come to you instead of going to Angelus."

Wesley looked back at Lilah and nodded once knowing Fred was right. They walked into the hotel and saw that Julie was apparently fine and sitting on the round couch. Wesley walked over and put Lilah on one of the regular sized couches. Julie saw Lilah and put a hand over her mouth before asking, "Is she…"

Connor nodded. "Dead. Angelus ate her."

Gunn looked at Wesley and said, "What now?"

Wesley thought about it, but before he could answer Connor asked, "Can Wo Pang put his soul back if he's not next to him?"

Before anyone had an answer Lorne came through the lobby door. He looked around and said, "Did you get him?"

Wesley answered, "No. Where's Wo Pang?"

"He was a little bit dead when I got there."

The room was silent for a few seconds. Connor looked at Gunn and said, "Angelus will be back. We need a plan so we can kill him when he gets here."

Gunn looked at Wesley. Wesley looked back at Lilah, and then at everyone else in the room. He said, "No."

Connor pointed at Lilah and said, "Wo Pang is gone. No soul, no Angel. He's made his first kill. How many need to die before you agree to put him down?"

Wesley shook his head. "Wo Pang isn't the only person who can put a soul back."

Wesley walked over to the counter and picked up the phone. He dialed a number and after a few seconds he said, "Buffy?"

The rest of the people in the room listened in on his half of the conversation.

"Yes, it's Wesley."

"In a bit of a bind actually, I need some help from Willow."

"When are you expecting her?"

"I see. Could you please have her call me as soon as she gets in? It's quite urgent."

"Thank you. Goodbye."

He turned to the rest of the group and said, "Willow is a witch. She has put his soul back before. She will call us in a few hours."

Fred said, "What should we do until then? Try to make this place secure so Angelus can't get in?"

Connor looked around and said, "It's too big. Too many ways in and out."

Wesley nodded in agreement. Lorne said, "Hey, how about the sanctuary spell?"

Everyone looked at him. He said, "Just like the one I used to use in my night club. It prevents demon violence. People can still beat the crap out of each other, but demons who try to get physical get knocked back on their asses."

Wesley asked, "That's a very good idea. Do you know how to do the spell?"

"I could make some calls and figure it out."

"Good. Do that now, and the rest of us will help you with whatever you need to get it done."

Lorne nodded and went to the phone to start making calls. Fred saw Julie staring at Lilah, and looking kind of sick. Fred said, "Hey Julie, why don't you come with me, and you can help me gather all the supplies Lorne is gonna need to do the spell."

Julie nodded and walked into the kitchen with Fred. Gunn said to Connor, "We need to get you cleaned up again."

But Connor was looking at Lilah, and said, "We'll have to cut her head off."

Gunn looked over at Lilah too and said, "Why?"

"He might have turned her."

Gunn shook his head, "He didn't have time."

"You don't know that."

"Connor, he was still…."

Wesley interrupted Gunn and said, "No. He's right. I'll do it."

Wesley went and got an ax from the weapon's cabinet, and took it down to the basement. He went back up to get Lilah, and as he picked her up, Connor started to head for the bathroom that was off the lobby. Gunn took Connor's arm and said, "No, an upstairs bathroom."

Connor put his head down, accepting what he thought Gunn was gonna do once they were alone. He let Gunn lead them up to Connor's room, and into Connor's bathroom. Gunn said, "Take your shirt off."

Connor took off the bloody shirt and tossed it in the hamper. Gunn took a good look at the bruising both on his abdomen, and his back. Gunn shook his head and said, "Damn."

Gunn got out the first aid supplies and said, "Sit."

Connor sat on the lid of the toilet seat. Gunn started with the wound on Connor's neck. He washed it, but some disinfectant on it, and bandaged it up. Next he cleaned the few scratches that were on Connor's head and chest. Connor held up his wrist that had been stitched up and said, "Might as well take these out now, it's been almost three hours."

Gunn nodded in agreement. He undid the bandages, cut one side of each stitch close to the skin, and then pulled the string out from the other side. Gunn was impressed with how much better the wound looked after just three hours. He put more medication on it, and put new bandages on it. Once he was done, he put the first aid kit away and said, "Go get a new shirt."

Connor went out to his room, got a shirt out of the drawer, and put it on. When he turned back around, Gunn was standing there with a glass of water and one of the painkillers the doctor had prescribed for him when he had broken his ribs. Connor shook his head no. "I don't need any….."

Gunn cut him off, "No. No arguments. You are going to take this, and then you are going to lie down and rest. I'm gonna go get you some food in a second, and you are going to eat it, and then you are gonna take a nap and sleep through dinnertime. Later tonight when you wake up, we'll see how well your body has recovered, and I'll decide if you need any more medication. Then you and I are gonna have a talk about the fact that you totally ignored me when I told you not to go after Angelus by yourself. Is that understood?"

Connor looked over at his bed and said, "How can I sleep knowing that he's out there? I should put all my energy into capturing him or killing him. I don't have time to worry about me or how well my body is healing."

"The medication will help you sleep, and you do have the time to rest, because I'm making you. The sanctuary spell will take hours, and we're not going to go after Angelus until we hear from Willow. That means we have at least three hours to wait, and you're not that good at just waiting around. Take the pill."

Gunn held them out to Connor again. Connor mumbled, "I don't want to."

"I don't care. Take it."

Connor looked at Gunn for a few seconds, and Gunn gave him a level look, fully prepared to meet the challenge if Connor was going to continue arguing about it. Connor sighed and took the pill out of Gunn's hand. He swallowed it with the water, and handed the glass back to Gunn.

Gunn nodded and said, "Good. Lie down, and I'll be back in a few minutes."

Connor walked over and lay down on top of the covers and stared up at the ceiling. Connor heard Gunn leave, and as Connor lay there he replayed the last confrontation with Angelus in his head again and again.

Fifteen minutes later Gunn came back with a tray. He pulled Connor's desk chair over next to the bed, and sat down. He put the tray on Connor's bed, and picked up one of the sandwiches for himself. Connor got one too and started eating. Connor looked over at Gunn a few times and finally said, "I never realized it, but every time I've fought with Angel, he's held back. Every single time."

Gunn swallowed and said, "I'm not surprised. He's your dad. He loves you, he doesn't want to hurt you."

Connor looked down at his food. He mumbled, "Yeah."

They ate quietly and once the food was gone Gunn picked up the tray and set it by the door. He went and looked at the books on Connor's shelf and picked one out. He went back to the chair and sat down and started to read. Connor had lay back down, and now looked over at Gunn with confusion. "What are you doing?"

Gunn kept his eyes on the book; "They don't need me for the sanctuary spell. I'm here to make sure you stay in bed, and to make sure you don't get any unwelcome visits from evil family members."

Connor was surprised that Gunn was staying, but he also felt himself relax more into the bed. Soon the effects of the medication mixed with the food, and the emotional and physical trauma of the day sent Connor into a deep and healing sleep.

Wesley lay Lilah down on the cement floor in the basement. He walked up and closed the basement door. He stood on the top of the stairs and looked down at her for a few seconds. He slowly walked down the stairs, and picked up the ax that he had left resting at the foot of the stairs. He walked over to her, but instead of raising the ax and cutting off her head, he got down on the ground next to her and sat on his knees. He tucked some of her hair behind her ear, and said, "I guess talking is out of the question now."

He got no response, but in his mind he could hear her voice saying, "You know that talk wouldn't have gone the way you wanted anyway."

He closed his eyes and asked, "And how would I have wanted it to go?"

Now he could hear and see Lilah in his mind. She said, "You would have wanted me to be sorry. You would have wanted me to apologize for letting him out, and for not going to you with my information in the first place."

"But you wouldn't have apologized."

"I wouldn't have."

"Why?"

Lilah gave him a smile, "Because Lover, that's not the kind of relationship we had."

"It wasn't a relationship."

"You've still got a dollar bill in your wallet that says different."

Wesley opened his eyes and looked down at Lilah again. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. He said, "I'm sorry."

He stood up and raised the ax in the air. He paused again and heard Lilah say, "What's the problem? You didn't love me. You've always loved Fred and we both know it, and she's looking more and more available now."

Wesley nodded in agreement. Lilah's voice in his head said, "The real problem is that you didn't save me. And now that I'm dead, you'll never get the chance. But the truth is, that no one could. Some of us can't be saved….. especially from ourselves."

Wesley brought the ax down with force, and cut her head off in one clean chop. He turned away from her and got some rags to clean the ax with. Then he got one of the blue plastic tarps that was down there, and wrapped her body and head up in one. He cleaned up the floor, and left her body in the basement lying next to the cage. He decided that once they got the sun back, he would take her out to a secluded place in the wilderness, and burry her. But for now she would have to wait.

He walked upstairs to see how the spell was going. He saw Gunn taking a tray of food up the stairs and looked over at Fred. She said, "He's gonna stay with Connor for a few hours, and let Connor sleep while we do the spell."

Wesley nodded and said, "How is the spell going?"

Lorne was still on the phone and furiously writing things down. Julie was next to him looking at the list, and going over to the nearby desk to pick out the things she recognized. Fred said, "Pretty well so far. Lorne is pretty sure we will be able to do it."

Fred paused for a second and said, "What do you think Willow will say?"

"I think she'll come and help us. She's been Angel's friend for years now, and she's just basically a good and helpful person."

"Can she help us fight the Beast?"

"She might be able to, but from what Buffy said, they are in dire straights themselves right now, and need Willow to help them."

Fred looked disappointed but nodded. Wesley said, "But we do need help fighting the Beast."

Fred smiled, "Isn't that kind of the reason for trying to get Angel back… well that and because he's our friend… and boss."

Wesley smiled back, "Yes, but I'm thinking we need help to fight the Beast either way. He is a separate problem from Angelus right now. If we can't get Angel back, we still need to kill the Beast, and while I know Connor is good in a fight, I don't know if he will be good enough to defeat the Beast, even with our help."

"Are you going to ask Buffy to help?"

Wesley shook his head. "She's caught up with her own apocalypse. But there is another Slayer."

Fred looked around to see if anyone else had heard and whispered, "You can't mean Faith…. She's in prison for murder, and she doesn't exactly like you from the things you've said."

Wesley shrugged, "Enemies can turn into friends when they have a common goal, and from what Angel has told me, time has changed Faith."

Wesley got his cell phone out and looked through the phone book in the government pages to find the number for the prison Faith was in. He called and set up an appointment to see Faith the following morning since visiting hours were over already for the day, and it took four hours to get there by car. He hung up and turned to Fred. He said, "I'm going to eat a light dinner right now, and get some sleep. I'll set my alarm, and get up in the middle of the night. I'll drive over to the prison and be there to see Faith at nine am tomorrow. With any luck, four hours later she'll be back here with me, and then the whole team can go after the Beast with or without Angel. When Willow calls, please explain the situation to her, and when she arrives, see how close she needs to be to put Angel's soul back. Maybe we don't even need to capture him. But either way the sun is coming back tomorrow."

Fred nodded in understanding and said, "I'll wake you if there is a problem with the spell, or if Willow says she can't help, and I'll let everyone know what the plans are."

Wesley smiled at her, grateful that she understood what he would need her to do without him having to explain. "Thank you."

Fred put a comforting hand on his shoulder before walking back over to Lorne.

Two hours after Connor fell asleep, Gunn decided to go check on the others and see how the spell was going. He put his book down, picked up the used food tray off the floor, and left Connor softly snoring on his bed. He got downstairs and saw that Lorne and Fred were in the middle of mixing up ingredients, and Julie was standing there apparently trying to be helpful. Gunn put the tray down and said to the group, "How's it going?"

Lorne looked at him with a smile, "Peachy."

"How much longer until it's done?"

"About half an hour."

Gunn looked around and said, "Where's Wes?"

Fred explained the situation to him, and Gunn nodded, "That's a good plan if he's able to get her."

Julie asked, "How's Connor."

"Asleep. I'm hoping the food and the rest will give his body a chance to heal. He's gonna need all his strength tomorrow if we're going after the Beast and then maybe Angelus."

Gunn turned back to Fred and said, "Wesley is right, the Beast is the bigger problem, and he needs to be stopped first so we can get the sun back. I think we kind of lost track of that after Angelus got loose."

Fred nodded and there was an awkward silence between the two of them. Fred turned back to helping Lorne get things ready for the spell, and Gunn asked Lorne, "Do you need me to help?"

Lorne gave him a task, and the four of them worked together for the next twenty minutes. Soon it was ready, and Lorne performed the spell. Once he was done the group looked at each other and Julie asked, "How can we tell if it worked?"

Lorne said, "I guess we should try it out." 

Lorne looked around the room and said with a disappointed sigh, "And I'm the only non human in the room."

Lorne said to Gunn, "You wanna be the other guinea pig?"

Gunn shrugged, "Sure."

Lorne said to Julie and Fred, "You girls stand back."

Fred and Julie took a few steps back. Lorne looked at Gunn who was standing with his hands at his sides waiting. Lorne muttered, "Here's hoping this hurts me more then it hurts you."

Lorne pulled his fist back and tried to punch Gunn in the chest. Before his hand could make contact, Lorne's whole body was flung backwards a few feet. He landed hard on the floor, and passed out.

Fred and Gunn both went over to him. Fred said, "Lorne?"

Gunn said, "Looks like it worked. Let's get him to the couch."

Gunn picked up Lorne's upper half, and Fred picked up his legs. They carried him to the couch and set him down. Gunn said, "How long will he be out?"

Fred said, "He said it varies from demon to demon, but usually about ten minutes is average."

Gunn nodded. Fred turned to Julie and said, "I don't know about you, but I'm starved."

Gunn almost made a comment on how much food 'his girl' could put away and still look like a bean pole, but caught himself in time. She wasn't 'his girl' anymore.

Julie nodded and said, "I'm hungry too."

Fred looked at Gunn. He said, "I already ate. You two go ahead, I'll stay here with Lorne."

About ten minutes later Lorne and Gunn walked into the kitchen and found Fred and Julie talking about the positives and negatives of staying in a dorm as apposed to an apartment. Fred asked, "How are you feeling Lorne?"

Lorne had a hand up to his head and said, "Like I got hit by a truck."

Lorne got out an icepack and held it to his head. Then he got out the alcohol and mixed himself an extremely large drink. He took it with him and said, "I'm gonna go sleep it off."

Once Lorne was gone Gunn said, "I guess I'm gonna head upstairs too."

Before he could get out of the kitchen the phone rang. Fred knew they were expecting Willow to call, so she got up and answered the phone, and Gunn hung out to see who it would be. Fred said, "Angel Investigations. How can I help you?"

"Hi, this is Willow, I'm calling Wesley back."

Fred said, "Hi Willow, my name is Fred, and Wesley already went to bed, but he wanted me to explain the situation to you."

"Okie dokie, explain away."

Fred thought about that for a second not sure where to start. Willow said, "Hello?"

"Sorry, I'm still here, I just was trying to think of the best place to start. I guess the short version is Angel's soul is out, and Angelus is on the loose. We were hoping you could reinsoul him."

"Angelus? Wow, that is a problem. Of course I'll reinsoul him for you."

"Great. Can you do it from there, or do you need to be close to him to do it?"

Willow paused a second thinking. "I doubt it will work from this far away. I don't have to be right next to him, but I wouldn't try to do it if we were in different cities. Don't want to take any chances when you're messing with people's souls."

Fred smiled thinking Willow sounded very nice. She said, "So would you be willing to come here?"

"I'll be there by tomorrow afternoon. I have some things to wrap up here in Sunnydale, but as soon as I'm done, I'll drive over there."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you very much." 

"No problem, I'm happy to help."

"Is there anything you need us to get ready for you? Any supplies you may need?"

Willow was quick to answer, "All I need is to get close enough to him to do the curse."

"Okay then. Do you need directions?"

"Nope, Buffy has them."

"Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Buy."

"Buy."

Fred looked at Gunn and said, "She's coming." 

Gunn smiled and said, "Well there's some good news. Does she need us to do anything to get ready?"

"No. We just need to make sure Angelus is close by when she does the curse."

"I doubt he's gonna leave town. Its perpetual night, and he wants to hurt all of us."

"I agree."

Gunn said, "I'm gonna head upstairs to sit with Connor."

Fred nodded and said, "Goodnight."

Gunn lost his happy feelings remembering that they wouldn't be going to bed together anymore. He said, "Yeah." and walked up the stairs, happy to have someplace to go other then his own empty bed.

Julie and Fred stayed up for the next couple of hours talking about college experiences. Around ten at night, Fred suggested they go to bed, and Julie followed her upstairs. Fred went to her room, and looked around noticing that the room looked kind of empty without Gunn's things there. She sighed and got ready for bed feeling sad.

Julie went to her room and got ready for bed, and then went to Connor's room. She raised her hand to knock on the door, but thought better of it, and just opened the door a crack. She saw Gunn sitting next to the bed holding a book and looking at her. She looked at Connor who was asleep on the bed. Gunn got up and walked over to her.

Julie whispered, "I just wanted to check on him, and say goodnight if he was awake."

Gunn whispered back, "He'll probably be out for a couple more hours. You'll have to talk to him tomorrow."

Julie accepted that with some disappointment, and went to her own room to sleep.

Connor woke up groggy and needing to urinate. He opened one eye with a squint and wondered why the light was on in his room. He looked over and saw Gunn sitting next to his bed, and remembered why. He muttered, "Gotta pee."

Connor got up and went to use his bathroom while Gunn put his book down and looked at his watch. It had been about five hours since he had made Connor go to bed. Everyone else in the hotel was asleep, and Gunn was getting pretty tired himself.

Connor came back out and looked warily at Gunn. Gunn got up, walked to Connor, and started looking him over. He checked his wrist, his head, his neck, and his chest and back to see how well his various injuries were healing. Connor stood still for it and waited to hear the verdict. Gunn was amazed at how much better Connor looked. He wasn't all the way healed by any means, but his injuries looked a couple of days old instead of a few hours old.

Gunn said quietly, "How do you feel?"

Connor thought about it for a second. He thought if he said he was feeling better, Gunn would most likely spank him. But if he said he wasn't feeling better, Gunn would most likely make him take another painkiller, and then he also probably wouldn't let him go do things with the rest of the team until he said he was feeling better. Connor sighed dejectedly and said, "I feel a lot better."

"Does your head hurt?"

"Not really."

"Are you just saying that, because you don't want any more painkillers, or is it true?"

Connor was glad he had picked the truth so he could sound a little indignant as he said, "It's true."

"Okay, good. Everyone else is asleep, so let's go to the basement."

Connor made a face that showed his distaste for that plan, but walked out the door and headed for the basement with Gunn following. They walked quietly through the silent hotel, and when they made it to the basement Gunn shut the door behind them. As soon as Connor got in the basement he could smell Lilah's body. He saw the blue tarp that was beside the cage, and walked down next to it. He looked over at Gunn who had come to look at it as well. Connor asked, "Did Wes cut off her head?"

Gunn nodded and looked around, not really wanting to talk to Connor, or spank him for that matter, with Lilah in the room. Dead or not, she would be distracting to both of them. He saw the door to Angel's bedroom, which was also in the basement and said, "Come on."

They walked over and went into Angel's bedroom. Gunn turned on the light and shut the door behind them once Connor got through. Connor walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it. On the way he noticed Angel's hairbrush sitting on his dresser, and he felt his stomach doing familiar flips just seeing it. Connor looked away from it and over at Gunn. Gunn sat down next to Connor. He put an arm around Connor's shoulders and said, "Wes has a plan, and it's a good one."

Connor looked over at Gunn with surprise and hope. "Tomorrow Wes is going to go visit Faith the vampire Slayer. He's going to hopefully bring her back here, and then you are going to track the Beast, and we are all going to go kill the Beast together. Then tomorrow night, Willow will be here, and she is going to reinsoul Angel. She doesn't have to be in the same room or anything, so we may not even have to capture him for it to work."

Connor said, "A vampire Slayer like Buffy?"

"That's right."

Connor thought about it, getting used to the idea and said, "Dad said Buffy was stronger then him."

"Faith is too."

Connor nodded and said, "That's a good plan."

He gave Gunn a little smile and said, "It's a really good plan."

Gunn squeezed his shoulder and said, "I think so too. And now that we can see some light at the end of the tunnel, it's time to talk about what you did tonight."

Connor looked down at his lap and waited. Gunn said, "Did you hear me tell you to come back?"

Connor didn't know why Gunn was asking when he already had to know the answer. Connor quietly said, "Yes."

"Why didn't you?"

Connor shrugged. Gunn sighed and took his arm off Connor's shoulders and leaned his elbows on his knees. He said, "How many times have you been spanked since the Beast appeared?"

Connor's face turned red and he kept his eyes on his lap. Gunn could barely hear the answer of, "Three."

"Three times in two weeks isn't a good track record Connor."

Connor said, "Tell me about it." in a tone that showed he knew even better then Gunn did that three times in two weeks was way too much.

"Before the Beast showed up it had been over a month right?"

Connor thought about it for a second and said, "Almost. There was an incident with Angel's car, but other then that yeah."

Gunn was quiet for a second thinking about it. "You know what that says to me?"

Connor shook his head no. Gunn continued, "It says that under normal circumstances you've gotten to the place where you're settled into your life here. You're not trying to run away, you're not trying to fight Angel at every turn, and you've become a good member of the team. If the Beast had never shown up, you'd be half way through another month free from punishment."

Connor darted his eyes over to Gunn and saw honesty there. He found himself happy with this assessment even if he didn't know that he himself believed it. He looked back down at his lap and gave a non committal, "Maybe."

"Now we need to work on your behavior when the circumstances aren't normal, because around here, that happens a lot."

Connor didn't respond. Gunn looked over at him and said, "You have to learn to make your head override your emotions. When something is making you angry, you tend to let your emotions take control, and that's when you do stupid stuff like trying to chase down the Beast and Angelus alone. And when you're too emotional to let your head stay in control, then you have to let the people who love you step in and do it for you."

Connor could hear the truth in what Gunn had said. He looked over and said, "It sounds easy enough when you say it, but in the moment…"

Gunn nodded, "I know, I've been there. But I think with time you will be able to do it."

Connor was pleased in spite of himself to hear that Gunn had faith in him. Gunn patted Connor's knee and said, "I hope that both the Beast and Angelus are taken care of by the end of the day tomorrow, but things might not go the way we hope. I need you to know that I'm gonna be there for you, both for the good stuff and the bad. Because your dad isn't the only person who cares about you and wants to see you grow up to be a good man. And you can't do that if you're dead. So…"

Gunn stood up and unbuckled the belt he was wearing. "…I'm gonna spank you for going after Angelus like you did."

Connor felt his pulse and breathing go up a notch as he watched Gunn taking his belt off. Connor stared wide eyed at the belt and shook his head no. Gunn walked over to Angel's desk, and pulled the chair out to the middle of the bedroom. He sat down and said, "Come here."

Connor couldn't keep his eyes off the belt and stood up, but instead of going forward he backed up a few steps and shook his head no again. Gunn said, "I thought you said you wouldn't fight me over it."

Connor's voice sounded strained as he said, "I'm not."

Gunn waited, but Connor made no move to get any closer. Gunn said, "Do I have to tazer you first?"

Connor shook his head no quickly. Gunn sighed and said firmly, "Then come here right now."

Connor backed up all the way to the wall and shook his head no again. Gunn looked closely at Connor and thought he looked scared. It wasn't a look he saw on him very often, and while Gunn could understand being unhappy about a spanking, he didn't think fear, especially when Connor was much stronger then Gunn, was normal. Gunn said quietly, "What's wrong. Why are you scared?"

Connor looked away and found himself close to tears already. He kept thinking about what Angelus had said to him about being weak, and about letting a spanking make him cry. But seeing the belt in Gunn's hand brought up memories of Holtz, and he found them hard to push away since this would be his first spanking from Gunn and he had no idea what to expect. Gunn said, "Connor?"

Connor swallowed hard and kept his head down as he walked over to Gunn. He lied, "I'm not scared." as he put himself over Gunn's lap.

Gunn was confused by this behavior, and could actually feel Connor shaking over his lap. Gunn shook his head knowing something was very wrong. He said, "Stand up."

Connor stayed where he was and said, "Just do it, and get it over with."

Gunn physically pulled Connor's upper body off his lap, and made him stand up with him. Gunn said, "No. Tell me what's wrong."

Connor kept his head down. "It's stupid."

"Tell me anyway."

"The belt. Holtz used to…. It's stupid. Just do it. I'm not afraid."

Gunn looked down at the belt in his hand and remembered what Angel had told him about the things Holtz had done to Connor. Gunn glared at the belt and tossed it on the bed. He pulled Connor into a hug and said, "You _are_ afraid, it's _not_ stupid, and I won't use it."

Connor took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Gunn's eyes scanned the room for something else to use, because he was pretty sure that his hand would break before Connor was in enough pain to want to avoid the same situation in the future. His eyes fell on the hairbrush and knew it was what Angel had used before. He patted Connor's back once and let go of him. He walked over to Angel's dresser and picked up the hairbrush. He went back to the chair, sat down, and looked up at Connor.

Connor nodded once in acceptance and put himself over Gunn's lap again. Gunn brought his arm up high, and brought the brush down as hard as he could on Connor's jeans. Connor lay still and quiet, even though it did hurt a little. His jeans offered quite a bit of protection, and Gunn wasn't hitting as hard as Angel generally did. Connor was very focused on not breaking down because of the things Angelus had said.

After twenty swats and almost zero reaction from Connor, Gunn stopped and sighed. He also was thinking about what Angelus had said, and he knew Connor would be fighting his emotions. He hadn't really planned on taking Connor's pants down, but he was worried that he was doing some serious damage to his rear, and that Connor was just working extra hard at keeping it in. He said, "Sorry Connor, but I think the jeans need to come off."

Connor groaned and said, "I don't think we need to do that… really."

Gunn set the brush down on Connor's back and used both hands to reach under Connor and unbutton his jeans. Connor was a little startled by this, because Angel would normally make him do it himself, or he would be moving too quick for Connor to really register what was going on. Once they were unbuttoned, Gunn yanked Connor's jeans down to his knees.

Connor closed his eyes willing himself not to think about what was happening. Gunn pulled Connor's underwear down long enough to see that the skin was just pink, and not red or bruised the way Gunn was thinking it could be after the swats he'd given Connor. He put the underwear back in place, picked up the hairbrush off Connor's back and started spanking again over the underwear.

Connor could feel the difference, and sucked in some air, which made a hissing noise, at the increase of pain. Gunn gave a slight nod to no one, thinking this was more like the response he had been expecting. Forty swats later Connor was shaking with the effort to be still and not cry. Gunn stopped again and pulled down the underwear to check the skin on Connor's butt. It was getting to be more of a red color now. Gunn could feel Connor shake, and knew he had to be working hard at giving no reaction.

Gunn left the underwear down with the elastic resting at the crease between Connor's butt and thighs. He patted Connor's back and said, "The next time you go running off after something, and I tell you to stop and get back with the group, what do you plan to do?"

Connor took a deep but shaky breath and said, "I'll listen to you, and come back to the group."

"I hope so."

Gunn brought the brush down on Connor's bare behind and felt Connor's body jump slightly in reaction.

Connor's butt already hurt, but with no protection from jeans or underwear, the pain got more intense, and turned into more of a burning sensation. He couldn't keep such tight control over his body anymore, and he started to squirm around, trying to get his butt away from the pain. After about ten more swats, Connor couldn't stop himself from yelling out, "I said I'd listen to you! Gunn, please! Please stop! I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again! I'll do what you tell me next time! Pleeeeeeease!"

Gunn did stop. He looked at Connor's skin. It was a deeper red now, but there was no bruising. Gunn decided Connor had had enough. He knew Connor had already suffered quite a bit because of what he had done. He believed this spanking had been necessary, but he also thought it was more about proving to Connor that he could and would do it, then anything else. He seriously doubted Connor would go after Angelus alone anymore after what had happened, with or without the spanking as a reminder.

Connor took a few deep breaths to calm down. He hadn't cried, but he knew he couldn't take much more without crying. His butt was very painful now, and he really wanted the whole thing to be over, but he doubted it would be.

Gunn pulled Connor's underwear back into place and said, "Okay, I'm done."

Connor almost didn't believe it when Gunn put a hand on his arm and helped him to stand up. Connor looked up at Gunn with confusion and said, "Really?"

Gunn gave Connor a displeased look and kept a hand on his arm when he said, "Did you mean what you said, or were you lying?"

Connor said quickly, "I meant it."

Gunn gave him a curt nod and said, "Good. Then fix your pants."

Gunn let him go, and put the hairbrush and chair away. He went to the bed, picked up his belt, and put it back around his waist. He looked over at Connor who was standing still, obviously lost in his own thoughts, and rubbing at his butt now that his jeans were back in place.

Gunn pulled Connor into a hug, and Connor hugged him back. Gunn said, "Okay Connor, you have a clean slate again, but I expect you to keep your word. If things go badly tomorrow, and you disobey me, or go running off on your own, I'm gonna be doing this again, only more of it. You got that through that thick skull of yours?"

Connor smiled slightly, having heard similar lines too many times to count over the summer he had lived with Fred and Gunn. He let go of Gunn as he said, "Yeah I got it."

Gunn let him go and said with a smile, "Or maybe I should say that thick hide of yours, because my arm is worn out."

Connor shrugged and said with a small smile still on his face, "Feel free to skip it next time, if it's too tiring for you."

Gunn laughed at that and said, "Not gonna happen little man."

Gunn put an arm around Connor's shoulders and headed them towards the door. He said, "Let's go get some sleep. I want you to take another painkiller, with a glass of milk."

Connor frowned and groaned, "I don't like them."

"I know, but they help, and you need to be rested for tomorrow."

Connor reluctantly said, "Okay I'll take one."

Gunn patted his shoulder in approval as they left the basement and headed upstairs.


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note: This has spoilers for the episodes Salvage, Release, and Orpheus.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 26

Wesley's alarm clock went off at 4am. He looked at the blurry numbers, turned the alarm clock off by touch, and put on his glasses. He stretched, got out of bed, and gathered some clothes on his way to the bathroom. Half an hour later he was on the freeway headed towards Faith.

Four hours later he was parking at the prison, and an hour after that he was shown into the visiting room. The visiting room was divided in half by a large piece of bullet proof glass. There were four visiting stations attached to the glass with two way phones and chairs on either side so the visitor and the prisoner could sit and talk over the phone face to face. There were two armed guards, and two other visitors besides Wesley. He paced until they brought Faith in.

Faith walked into the room wondering who could be visiting her. She hadn't had a visitor since Angel came, and that was months ago. She saw Wesley and stopped her forward movement for a second staring at him. Wesley sat down in a chair and picked up his phone waiting for her. He hoped she would at least pick up the phone, but he wouldn't be surprised if she just walked away. Then he would have to find a way to get a message to her. After what seemed like minutes to Wesley, but in reality was only seconds, Faith sat down on the other side of the glass and picked up the phone.

Faith started, "Hey Wes. Can't imagine anything good coming out of you visiting."

Wesley gave her a slight nod. "That's an accurate assumption."

"I saw the news. The sun's gone in your city, so tell me why you're here instead of there."

"We have an apocalypse on our hands. There is a seven foot demon made of stone, and we need to kill him to bring back the sun."

"Well I'm real sorry for you, but I don't see how that's my problem. If you haven't noticed, I'm a little bit busy being incarcerated right now. I'm sure Angel can handle it."

"Well that's the problem. Angel is Angelus again, and he's loose in L.A. along with the Beast."

Faith, never known for her slow decision making, said, "Step away from the glass." and hung up the phone.

Wesley sat in confusion for about a second, until he saw her take a couple of steps away from the glass. He hastily dropped the phone without hanging it up, stood up, and backed away.

Faith got a running start and put all her strength into diving through the glass. One of the visitors screamed as Faith hurtled through the glass. Before the guards had much time to react to this shocking event, she was up and in fighting mode. She disabled them quickly without anyone getting shot or hurt, but she knew more guards would be on the way, and there was no way she could fight them all. She grabbed Wesley by the shoulder and jumped out the nearest window, taking him with her. They fell three stories onto the hood of someone's car.

Faith sat up and asked, "Are you okay?"

Wesley sat up a little slower holding his shoulder, but gave her half a smile and said, "Five by five."

They ran as quickly as possible to Wesley's car and drove away at ninety miles an hour.

Half an hour later, when Wesley was fairly sure they were not being followed, he turned to Faith and said, "There's a change of clothes for you in the back."

Faith climbed into the back seat and changed clothes. Once she had climbed back into the front, Wesley said, "I doubt we'll be caught. Most of the neighboring police are already in LA trying to calm and control the masses."

Faith said, "Tell me the whole story."

Wesley spent the next four hours telling Faith everything that had happened to Angel and his crew over the past few months.

Once they made it into the outskirts of L.A., the sun disappeared, and Faith shivered a little thinking about how much damage the vampires of the city alone could do while this was going on. Wesley said, "We're almost there."

Faith said, "Good. We need to get one thing straight between us before we get there."

Wesley waited to hear her out. "I call the shots until Angel is back, and under no circumstances will I kill Angelus. This is a rescue mission, not a search and destroy. I'll be happy to take anyone down who doesn't agree with this plan."

Wesley had changed quite a lot since the last time he had seen Faith. In his younger days he would have balked at the thought of her in control. He gave her a short nod and said, "Alright."

Connor woke up with a start when he felt his bed dip. He turned and saw Julie getting into bed with him. He rolled to his side so he was facing her and smiled. "Hey."

Julie lay on her side so they were face to face, and she put a hand up on his face to trace some of his healing cuts and bruises from his fight with Angelus. He thought she looked concerned and said, "Doesn't hurt much anymore."

She reached down to his arm and pulled his wrist up so she could look at it. She traced the outside of the self inflicted wound, and then kissed his arm right above the wound. She looked in his eyes and said, "It's amazing how quickly you heal."

Connor looked down at his own wrist and said, "I guess."

She reached under the covers and lifted his shirt to see his stomach and chest. He took his shirt off the rest of the way so she could look. He had been too tired last night to do much besides take off his shoes and jeans, and climb into bed. Julie ran her hands over Connor's mostly healed bruises, and started to give him little kisses on each one. A few minutes of that, and Connor couldn't think about much other then the smell and feel of her beside him.

Julie stopped and looked into his eyes for a second before kissing him on the mouth. A few seconds later she pulled away and said, "I love you."

"I love you too." he said with sincerity.

"I didn't get the chance to talk to you much after you came back last night. Do you want to talk about it?"

Connor looked away from her as flashes of what Angelus had done came unbidden into the forefront of his mind. He shook his head to get the images out and looked back at her. "No."

She looked at him with sympathy and nodded in understanding. She kissed him again and he reached for her shirt. She let him pull it over her head. He looked down at her and thought to himself that maybe she had gained a little weight since she had come back to town. He looked at her a little more carefully and decided she looked even better then before, healthier. He leaned down and kissed her again as he started to work on getting the rest of her pajamas off.

A little while later Connor and Julie went downstairs hand in hand. Fred, Gunn, and Lorne were already awake. Fred said, "Morning."

Connor said, "Morning, has Wesley called yet?"

Fred nodded, "He has Faith, and they should be here around one o'clock. Willow called too. She's running late, but she should be here later tonight."

Connor smiled and said, "Great."

He turned to Julie and said, "Let's go have some breakfast."

She nodded and followed him into the kitchen. Connor made them both some scrambled eggs and toast. He wolfed down a large plate of food, and turned to see Julie was pushing her food away after only eating a few bites. He swallowed and said, "Not hungry?"

"I'm feeling a little sick. I think I'm nervous about what might happen today. You could get killed by the Beast, even if that Faith person is strong."

Connor tried to think of something to say to reassure her that he would be okay, but nothing came to mind. He started eating some of her food, and after a few minutes of thought he said, "I've been fighting things that were bigger and often more powerful then me since I was a small child. I think my chances of making it through this fight alive are close to ninety percent."

Julie gave him a smile and put a hand over his arm. She said, "Is that supposed to comfort me?"

He nodded. She said, "Thanks for trying. Come back to me alive, and I'll stop worrying."

When they were done eating they went back out to the lobby with everyone else, and Gunn held up one of Connor's text books. He said, "We have a few hours to wait. Let's make use of the time."

Connor made a face, but followed Gunn into Angel's office so they could study.

Faith and Wesley arrived slightly after 1pm. Fred was the first to look up. She walked around the counter held out her hand and said, "Hi, you must be Faith." 

Faith shook and said, "Fred right?" 

Fred's smile got even wider, "That's me." 

While they were introducing themselves, everyone else had gathered around. Gunn held out his hand next and said, "Hi, I'm…." 

Faith held up her hands and said, "We're in a hurry here, so let's just cut to the chase."

She pointed to each person as she spoke about them. "You're Gunn, and you can hold your own in a fight. You're Lorne, and you're an empath demon. You're Angel's kid Connor, and you're stronger then a normal human. And last you're Julie, Connor's girlfriend. Did I get you all right?"

Wesley said, "Indeed."

Faith said, "Okay, here's the plan. We're all going after the Beast. Connor will track, and once we find it, all of you help distract him while Connor and I get close. Connor will take the front of the Beast, and I'll take the back. The Beast knows Connor, and should focus on him, not realizing I'm a threat. While Connor and the rest of you attack, I'll sneak up behind him, cut off his right horn, and stab him in the back with it. We all clear on the plan?"

Connor said, "No." 

Faith gave him a level look. "What part are you having a hard time understanding?"

Connor found himself bristling at her tone. He said, "Julie doesn't fight."

Faith looked Julie up and down, thinking she wouldn't be much help anyway and said, "Fine. She stays behind. Anything else?"

Julie smiled at Connor gratefully. Connor said, "I'm ready, let's go."

Faith gave him a nod and looked over at the weapons cabinet. She walked over and picked up Angel's sword, and a smaller dagger, which she strapped onto her ankle under her pants. Everyone else gathered up weapons too. Connor gave Julie a quick kiss and said, "You should be safe here with the sanctuary spell working. Even if Angelus comes for you, he can't hurt you."

Once Connor let go of Julie, Fred asked her, "Could you answer the phone while we're gone in case Willow calls?"

"Sure."

A few minutes later they were all outside except Julie. Wesley got in his car along with Lorne, Gunn, and Fred. Connor set out with Faith right behind him on foot. As they moved she said, "Do you have his scent already?"

"No. I tracked the Beast about a week ago, and found him hiding in the city. I didn't confront him at the time, and I'm hoping he might be in the same place again. If not, we'll check Wolfram and Hart. If we get nothing there, I'll go to the ally where he first came into this dimension, and then to the building where he first made the fire fall from the sky. Then I'm not sure where to go next if I don't catch his scent at any of those places.

Faith nodded in agreement, and said, "Good plan. Tell me if you catch Angelus' scent too. We want to avoid him until the sun is back."

Connor wasn't sure about that, but gave her a nod anyway.

Connor was pleasantly surprised when he got the Beast's scent around the same place as before. He looked to Faith, "We're close. Two blocks away." 

Faith nodded and found she was a little impressed if he was right. Connor slowed down, and held up his hand motioning for Wesley to stop. He stopped, and everyone got out. Connor pointed to a large abandoned warehouse. "In there."

"Alone?" Wesley asked.

"I think so. The smell of human blood is in the air too, but it's old, not fresh."

Wesley looked at Faith. She said, "You and Connor take the lead. I'll stay back with Fred until I see my opening."

She turned towards Connor and said, "I hope you're as good as Wes says you are, because I really don't want to explain to Angel how I got you killed."

Connor glared and said, "I can hold my own. Worry about yourself."

Wesley moved forward and was first in the door closely followed by Connor, Gunn, Loren, Faith, and last Fred.

The Beast was kneeling on the floor in front of a table. The table looked like some kind of shrine with many candles and offerings including bowls of human blood in the center of it. The warehouse was mostly empty besides the table and the Beast. The Beast had his back to the group, and he was chanting in a language that neither Wesley nor Fred recognized.

When Connor saw that the Beast hadn't turned around as they entered, he started to sneak up on him, figuring he could cut off the horn before the Beast even realized they were there. Faith saw what he was doing and approved, motioning for the rest of the team to stay still. When Connor was halfway across the warehouse, the Beast said, "Hello Connor. Have you come to lose another fight to me?"

Connor stopped when he heard his name, but then kept going when the Beast didn't turn around. He said, "I've come to fight, but I don't plan to lose, and you can call me The Destroyer."

"Foolish boy."

Connor was almost within striking distance and made a run for it. The Beast turned at the last second and grabbed Connor's sword in his hand. Connor tried to pull his sword down and out of the Beast's hand, but he found he was unable to make it budge. The Beast slowly got up still holding the sword.

As soon as Faith saw it wasn't working, she motioned everyone to surround the Beast. The Beast casually looked around the room, and then focused on Connor again. The Beast yanked on the sword, and Connor had to take a step towards the Beast to keep his balance. The Beast used his free hand to punch Connor in the stomach. Connor went flying back and landed hard on the cement floor. Wesley got out one of his guns and shot the entire clip into the Beast's abdomen and chest. The Beast didn't show much reaction at all to the bullets, and broke Connor's sword in half and tossed both pieces on the floor.

Once Wesley's clip was empty, Faith walked to the Beast from behind and tried to get close enough to cut off his horn. While Faith was sneaking up, Lorne and Fred used their crossbows to shoot some arrows into the Beast's abdomen, but the arrows just bounced off. Connor was up and back in front of the Beast just as Faith got close enough to try and cut off his horn.

Faith brought her sword down, but the Beast ducked at the last second, so she hit his back instead of his horn. The Beast kicked behind him, and connected with Faith's left upper leg. She was thrown back a few feet. When the Beast ducked down to avoid Faith's blow, Connor leaned down and grabbed the half of his sword that still had the hilt on in.

Connor and the Beast faced off again, while Faith got up off the floor. She looked at Gunn and then Wesley and made a motion for them to attack. Gunn took the Beast's left side and tried to attack with his ax, and at the same time Wesley took the Beast's right side and tried to attack with his short sword. Faith ran towards the Beast's back with Angel's sword raised high. Connor saw the movement, and tried to stab the Beast in the eye with his half sword. The Beast leaned his head back slightly to avoid the blow, and got hit simultaneously with Gunn's ax on his shoulder, and Wesley's short sword on his torso. A millisecond later Faith brought the sword down and sliced off the Beast's right horn in one clean chop.

The Beast roared in anger, and kicked out behind him again. But Faith had already dropped to the floor both to avoid the kick, and to pick up the horn. She rolled out of the way with the horn in her hand. The Beast lashed out in frustration and anger, landing solid punches on both Gunn and Wesley which sent them flying across the room, and put them out of commission for a few minutes. He landed a punch on Connor too, which sent him flying back a few feet.

The Beast turned to confront Faith. Faith was slightly crouched down in a fighting stance. The only weapon she held was his horn. The Beast walked towards her to attack, but she was quicker on her feet then he was, and easily avoided his blow. She avoided about six of his attempted blows, and was trying to get behind him but failing.

Connor was back up and saw what was happening. He ran towards them, and jumped in between Faith and the Beast. The Beast turned his attention back on Connor and tried to punch him. Connor wasn't quite as fast as Faith, but he managed to avoid three blows before the fourth one grazed his shoulder. That gave Faith enough time to get behind the Beast. Just as Connor got half a punch in his shoulder, Faith plunged the horn into the middle of the Beast's back.

The Beast tried to reach behind him and get the horn out, but his arms wouldn't reach. He stumbled back a few steps, and all the cracks in his skin made of rock started to glow orange. It looked to Faith like molten lava. She thought he was burning up from the inside out. She saw Connor standing in front of the Beast with a look of victory on his face. The Beast started to shake, and Faith had an image of molten hot blobs of the Beast landing on the team and burning them. She yelled "Take cover!"

Fred was helping Wesley to get up, and Lorne was helping Gunn to walk towards Wesley. When they heard Faith, they all ran as quick as they could towards the door. Connor didn't move. He wanted to see the Beast destroyed with his own eyes. He wanted to watch him explode, so that he would know for certain that the Beast could never hurt anyone again. Faith had started to run towards the door and saw that the rest of the team had made it out, but when she turned to make sure Connor was following her, she saw he was just standing there in front of the Beast. She swore, and ran back towards the Beast. She kicked the Beast's table over, grabbed Connor's arm, and dragged him behind the table along with her, and forced him to crouch down behind it.

As soon as their heads cleared the edge of the table, they heard a loud explosion, and the force of it slammed the table into both Connor and Faith, and forced them back a few feet. A large blob of orange colored steaming rock landed in front of them, and burned a hole in the cement floor. Connor stared at it in shock. Faith waited for a second and then popped her head over the table once to make sure they were in the clear. She saw pieces of the Beast had spread all over the warehouse, and noticed quite a few blobs were burning through the table. She looked down at Connor who was still staring at the blob in front of him. Faith said, "Hey Idiot Boy, when I tell you to take cover that means you move your ass."

Connor looked up at her, and then stood up and looked around him at the remains of the Beast. He was looking at the damage and asked quietly, almost to himself, "How did you know?"

"I didn't know, I guessed."

Connor looked sheepishly over at her and said, "Oh."

"Look kid, Wes was right, you can fight, but if you can't follow orders you're no good to me. Are we gonna have a problem here?"

Connor looked away. "No."

The door to the warehouse opened, and Gunn called out, "Connor? Faith?"

He saw them and smiled in excitement, "Come out here, there's something you should see!"

Connor and Faith avoided the burning blobs and made their way to the warehouse door. They walked out and saw that everyone else was looking up. They looked up too, and saw the black smoky threads that had been covering the sun disappearing. Connor looked around, and things looked lighter already. Within a few seconds, the sun was back to full brightness, and in the distance they could hear a scream followed by silence. Wesley said, "Vampire frying."

The team looked at each other with smiles all around. Connor let out a whoop of victory and joy. Gunn and Faith did too. A more subdued Wesley said with a smile, "It looks as though we've defeated it."

Fred said with relief, "And got back the sun."

Lorne said, "I'd say this calls for a celebration."

Wesley said, "That may be a little premature. We'll celebrate after we get Angel back."

Connor lost his smile and looked around him for a second and said quietly, "What if he was outside?"

The smiles went away, and Faith said, "Angelus is smarter then most. He'd be staying under cover during the day as much as possible."

Gunn put his hand over Connor's shoulders and said, "Faith's right. He's gonna be fine."

Wesley turned to Faith and said, "What now?"

Faith looked over at Connor and said, "You didn't catch Angelus' scent on the way here right?"

"I didn't. You want me to wander the city and try to get it now?"

"Yeah."

Faith turned to Wesley and said, "You and the rest of the team head back to the hotel, and wait for Willow. Connor and I will get Angelus' location without confronting him, and then meet you back at the hotel."

Connor said, "Why don't we all go, and just capture him now while the sun is out, and he has no where to run?"

Faith cocked her head to the side and said, "We don't have any tranquilizers with us. We haven't talked to Willow to see how close she needs to be to do the curse. And why do you think Angelus wouldn't rather fry in the sun then get captured by us?"

Connor's face got flushed. He had been impressed with Faith's fighting, but now that she was being so blunt and condescending to him, he decided he didn't like her all that much. He glared and said, "Angelus wouldn't run out into the sun. He doesn't have a death wish."

Faith laughed a little and asked Wesley, "How old did you say he was?"

"Eighteen. Well seventeen on paper."

Faith looked at Connor and said, "I don't think I was that naive even at ten."

Connor glared and said, "Do you want me to track him, or did you just want to stand around and insult me?"

Faith crossed her arms and said, "I want you to track him, but if you even think about trying to confront him before I give you the go ahead, I'm gonna kick your ass."

Connor scoffed and said, "Whatever." as he started to walk down the street tracking.

Wesley held out his cell phone to Faith and said, "Call us if you need something. We'll call you when we hear from Willow, if we don't see you first."

"Got it." Faith took the phone and turned to follow Connor. Faith followed slightly behind him, both to let him track, and so that he wouldn't be inclined to start a conversation with her.

Forty minutes later Connor started to speed up, and Faith caught up to him to ask, "Did you get it?"

"Yeah." He said with relief.

Faith looked around as they went forward. "How far away?"

"I'm not sure yet. A few blocks at least."

Faith followed beside him and kept her eyes open, taking in the area. Before Connor pinpointed a location, Faith saw a bar and pointed to it. "There."

As they got closer Connor nodded and said, "How did you know?"

"It's a vampire bar."

Connor looked at the bar trying to figure out how she could tell. He looked back at her and said, "Can you smell them?"

"Nah, I've just been in enough of them to know the look."

Connor looked back at the bar still not sure what the identifying marks were. Faith nodded once and said, "Good job. Let's head back."

Connor took a few more steps towards the bar and said, "There's probably only a few vampires in there. You and I could take them easy."

"No."

Connor kept walking towards the bar and said, "We could peek in and see how many are there, and get the layout so that we're ready when we come back later."

Faith, keeping her voice down, followed him and said, "Shut up, I don't want Angelus to know I'm here. We're going back. Now."

Connor was only a few feet from the bar now, and he said in a normal voice, "Who cares if he knows you're here. I'm just going to take a quick… Hey!"

Faith was pissed. She knew that Angelus probably could hear them and smell them now that they were so close, and since most vampire bars had sewer access, she doubted he would still be there when they came back. She literally kicked Connor in the ass to get his attention. Connor spun around and glared at her taking up a defensive fighting stance. He had heard that Slayers were strong, and he had seen her fight the Beast, but he couldn't quite believe that someone so much smaller then him could be stronger. And he didn't particularly like the idea of taking orders from a girl. It went against everything Holtz had taught him growing up.

Faith grabbed a fistful of Connor's shirt and pulled him close to her as she said with anger and irritation, "I said we're going back."

Connor tried to knock her arm away from his shirt, and was a little surprised when her arm didn't even budge. He glared at her, grabbed the arm that was holding his shirt, and used his full strength to try and shove her away from him. Faith had to take a step back, but didn't go flying backwards the way Connor was expecting. Faith wasn't about to let Connor get away with not listening to her, and she had had all she was going to take of it. She made sure not to use her full strength, since it was Angel's kid, and punched him in the eye.

Connor's head snapped backwards, he staggered back a few steps, and almost fell, but since Faith still hadn't let go of his shirt, she helped him stay upright. Connor's look of surprise was almost comical to Faith, but his look quickly changed to that of anger mixed with a challenge. Holtz had often told Connor that it was a man's duty to protect the women around him, but he had also said that women were secondary to men, and if a woman got out of line, Holtz saw no problem with putting her back in her place.

Faith knew the look that Connor was giving her, and was ready for it when Connor attacked. He tried punching her in the face and stomach repeatedly. She let go of his shirt, and blocked all of his blows. After six of his punches missed, he tried kicking her legs out from under her. She jumped up to avoid his kick, and did a summersault in the air to land behind him. She kicked his legs out from under him, and Connor landed on his stomach on the sidewalk.

Faith waited to see what he would do. Connor got up, and into a fighting stance again. He tried to punch her again, but she blocked and kicked him in the stomach. He flew through the air and landed on his back a few feet away. Faith casually walked towards him and said, "Look kid, I don't want to hurt you, but you're kind of pissing me off. How about we go back to the hotel and get an update?"

Connor lay there for a second with his head spinning, trying to grasp the concept that this girl was not only stronger, but a better fighter then him. He shook his head once and started to stand up. She held out a hand to help him up. He looked at it for a millisecond, but couldn't bring himself to take help from her. He knocked her hand away with irritation and said, "I can get up myself."

Before Connor could actually get himself up, Faith grabbed his wrist, hauled him up to standing, and twisted that same arm behind his back. She put one hand on his opposite shoulder to keep him from turning around to face her, and kept the other hand on his wrist to keep his arm behind his back at a painful angle. She started walking the both of them away from the bar and towards the hotel. Connor struggled to get out of her grip, but it didn't work. She said conversationally, "I've come up across lots of different men who thought they could beat me in a fair fight. I've never met one who actually could, and you're not even close to the strongest I've met. I am not going to waste my time fighting with you when we're on the same side, and want the same things. Straighten up, or I'll personally lock you in that cage you all built for Angel until I've got him home safe. Got it?"

Connor didn't answer, but continued to struggle for the next three blocks, even though his arm felt like it was going to come out of its socket any moment. He was humiliated beyond belief at the image of himself being literally pushed down the street by Faith. Faith stopped abruptly after another two blocks and got up on her toes to whisper in his ear. "If you don't stop struggling and tell me you've got it right now, things are gonna get ugly."

Connor stilled and hated himself for having to admit he was beat. He said with seething anger, "I got it."

She let him go with a little shove and said, "Good."

Connor really wanted to rub his sore shoulder, but didn't want to let her know how much it hurt. He started walking on his own towards the hotel. She fell in step beside him. They walked quietly for a few blocks. Then out of the blue Faith said, "How'd you learn to track like that? Is it some kind of vampire smelling thing you got from Angel?"

Connor shrugged, and regretted it, as pain shot through his shoulder. He said, "I've been able to track from a very early age. It could very well be from the demon side of me."

Faith looked a little confused, "I thought you were human."

"Some say I am, some say I'm not."

"What do you say?"

Connor thought about it. "I'd like to be."

They walked for a few blocks in silence, and Connor's anger went away as he started to really think about things. She had probably saved his life by making him get behind that table. And she did kill the Beast which brought back the sun. He looked up at the sky and said, "It's good to have the sun back. I never really thought about it, but having it gone made me realize how much humans rely on it to keep demons at bay, even if they don't know it."

Faith looked up and noticed for the first time it was getting warmer out now that the sun was back up. She took off her jean jacket and said, "I suppose. I'm more of a night person myself, but there have been some times when the sun was a plus for me."

Connor watched her take off her jacket, and couldn't help but stare at her a little. She was wearing a white, form fitting, wife beater tank top, and the straps of her bra were clearly visible on her shoulders. Connor hadn't noticed her body before, because the jacket she had been wearing covered her up. He compared her in his mind to the other women he had been around. She had more muscle then Fred or Julie, and she wasn't as curvy as Cordelia or Lilah. Connor decided he liked what he saw, and now that he had noticed the top half, he slowed down just a little to get a look at her from behind. She had on form fitting dark blue jeans and black boots.

Faith turned to see why he was slowing down and caught him looking, even though he darted his eyes to her face as soon as he noticed her body turning his way. Faith smirked at Connor's embarrassed look and said with a hint of humor, "See something you like?"

Connor looked away, and stammered, "No… I mean you look nice and all, but I wasn't looking at you like _that_… I was just thinking…wondering how someone who looks like you could be so strong."

Faith started laughing, and couldn't stop for a few seconds. Connor was just kind of confused as to what she found so funny. When she could, she said, "Sorry, but how ironic is it that the kid with super strength who looks scrawny enough to break in half, wonders how I can be so strong?"

Connor didn't really like the word 'scrawny', but did see the humor. He smiled and then chuckled a little. "Good point."

They walked in companionable silence the rest of the way to the hotel.

Angelus watched from the window of the bar as Faith bested his son in a fair fight, and had a good laugh. As soon as they were out of range, he thought about what he had learned as he headed for the sewers. He had been talking to magical beings all day, trying to find a way to block the curse from happening again.

Early in the day he had found out that Wo Pang was dead, and decided he didn't need to be in too much of a rush. But now with Faith in town, he needed to try something to block the curse tonight. He wasn't sure if the gang would be smart enough to call Willow, but since Faith had wanted an 'update' back at the hotel, he thought it was a good guess.

Angelus went back to the most promising Magic shop he had gone to earlier that day, and decided to put a little pressure on the owner to see what he could do about keeping his filthy soul away. Then he would have fun killing off his former friends one by one, saving Connor for last.

When Connor and Faith arrived at the hotel, they found Julie sitting on the bench that was outside in the front of the hotel. She looked up at Connor with a big grin when she saw him, and ran to give him an excited hug. He hugged her back as she said, "You did it! You guys got back the sun."

Connor closed his eyes, picked her up off her feet with his hug, and let himself get lost in the smell and feel of her for a second. In that moment he decided Faith had nothing over Julie, because he knew with every touch and every word that Julie loved him. He set her down and looked at her smiling face. She said, "Once I saw the sun, I had to come out and feel it on my skin. Having it back makes me… giddy."

Connor leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. Then he said, "Me too."

Faith couldn't take anymore of what she saw as a sickeningly sweet couple and went into the hotel. She saw Lorne and Gunn behind the counter and said, "Has Willow called?"

Lorne said, "Yeah. She should be here in about an hour."

"What time is it now?"

"Almost three."

Wesley and Fred came out of Angel's office when they heard Faith's voice, and Wesley said, "Did Connor get Angelus' scent?"

"Yeah, over at a bar on 10th street, but I doubt it will do us much good." 

"Why not?"

"Angelus won't stick around after the racket we made. But it'll be a good place to start our search."

Gunn didn't like the sound of that and said, "Where's Connor?"

Faith jerked a thumb behind her where the lobby doors were and said, "Out front with Julie."

Wesley said, "Why were you being noisy?"

"Ask the kid. I'm hungry, and I still smell like prison. Where can I take a shower and get something to eat?"

Fred walked over to her as she said, "I'll show you where my room is, and you can take a shower while I make you something to eat."

Faith smiled, "Thanks Fred."

Once the girls were out of the room Gunn said, "I'm gonna go talk to Connor."

Connor noticed Faith walking into the hotel and then leaned down to Julie for a longer kiss. When he pulled away she was smiling, but that turned to a look of concern. "What happened to your eye?"

Connor put his hand up to his eye and realized it was pretty tender, and that probably meant there was a bruise. He muttered, "Great."

"What do you mean great? What happened?"

"Faith punched me."

"What?"

Connor sighed, "It's okay, I kind of provoked her."

"Provoked her how?"

Before Connor could answer Gunn came out the lobby doors and said, "Hey Connor, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Connor didn't want to go over what had happened with Faith, because he wasn't sure how Gunn would take the news, and he was positive he didn't want yet another spanking. He thought fast and gave Gunn the most sincere smile he could muster, while keeping the side of his face with the black eye turned to the side, and said, "Could we maybe talk in a little while? I was really hoping Julie and I could take a little walk in the sun. I mean, now that we know the Beast is gone, and Angelus can't get to us in the sun…. I just thought a break from it would be good."

Gunn was a little surprised, but at the same time pleased that Connor was asking to do something so normal. He gave Connor a smile and said, "Sure. Go have fun. Be back in an hour, because Willow should be here by then."

"Thanks Gunn." Connor took Julie's hand and started them walking away from the hotel.

As they walked Julie asked Connor about his eye again, and Connor told her the whole story starting with the fight with the Beast, and ending with his confrontation with Faith. She thought about it for a few seconds and said with self righteous anger, "Why does everyone seem to want to hit you? I think you were right, you two could have taken those vamps, and then Angelus would be back here safe in the cage while we waited for Willow."

Connor wanted to agree, but found he couldn't. "No, Faith was right. Even if we could have killed the other vamps and captured Angelus, there would have been no way to bring him home except the sewers, and during the day the sewers are full of even more vampires. I was just being…. stubborn."

Julie squeezed his hand and said, "I don't know why Wesley is letting Faith be in charge anyway. Just because she's a Slayer and strong doesn't mean she's a good person. She was in prison for goodness sake, she must have done something bad to get put there."

"I guess. But she's a better fighter then me, and without her I doubt we would have the sun back right now, so I'm glad she's here."

Julie made a not committal noise in the back of her throat. They walked along in silence for a few blocks, and then Julie said, "There's something I have to tell you Connor."

He noticed her serious tone and looked over at her. She stopped walking and turned towards him. She smiled and said, "It's something I'm really happy about, and I hope you will be too."

He looked at her expectantly. "I'm pregnant."

Connor just stared at her for a few seconds while his mind tried to process what she had said. "Pregnant?"

She smiled at him and nodded. Connor's first thought had been that it was impossible for her to be pregnant, because they weren't married. He knew that Angel and Wesley had told him people didn't need to be married to conceive a child, but he still had lingering doubts about that since Holtz had been very clear about this point with him while growing up. His next thought was that God wanted him to have a baby, which was something else Holtz had been clear about. While Connor was thinking, Julie put a hand up to his face. "I know it must come as kind of a shock to you, so we don't have to talk about it right this second. I just wanted you to know as soon as I did."

Connor felt like he needed to sit down for a few seconds. He looked around and saw a bus stop bench. He led Julie over and sat down. She sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He said, "But….. How?"

Julie picked her head up and said, "What do you mean how? Weren't you the one asking me about birth control?"

Connor nodded and realized that was kind of a stupid thing to ask. He corrected his question to; "When? A month ago, right before you left for home?"

Julie put each of her hands into his and looked him in the eyes. "No. It was the night the fire fell from the sky."

Connor shook his head, "But… that was just…. nine days ago. You can't possibly know that yet. And you said you were on the pill."

"I can't tell you how I know, but I do know. And I was on the pill, but I stopped taking them yesterday, because I just knew. I would have told you then, but I didn't want you to have something else to worry about since the Beast was on the loose."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Connor's thoughts were sporadic. 'I'm going to be a father. I'll be a better father then Holtz. I'll be a better father then Angel. Angel isn't going to be happy about this. I wonder what he's going to say. Holtz would say I'm a sinner. He would call the baby a bastard like me. I can't let that happen. We'll have to be married. Angel won't like that either. Too bad, I won't have a bastard child.'

He turned to Julie and said, "We have to get married."

Julie looked shocked and said, "What?"

"I won't have a child out of wedlock."

It was Julie's turn to be silent. Then she turned to Connor and said, "I wasn't really thinking about getting married right now. I thought maybe after college."

It had never occurred to Connor that Julie might refuse to marry him now that she was pregnant. All he could say was, "But we have to."

"No, we really don't."

Connor willed her to understand, "Holtz, the man who raised me, called me a bastard my whole life. I can't stand the thought of my child having the same treatment."

Julie looked sympathetic, "It's not like that anymore Connor. Lots of kids are born into families where there is no marriage. There isn't a stigma attached to it anymore the way there used to be."

"But… If we love each other, and God is giving us this baby to take care of, then isn't it right to do everything we can to make sure the baby has a normal and happy life?"

Julie leaned in and gave him a kiss. She said, "I love that you're thinking of it that way. I'll think about it."

Connor didn't really like that answer, but it was better then a flat out no. "Okay."

They sat in silence again while Connor thought about Holtz and the things that he had told him about the two children that he had had before Angelus got to them. He also thought about the video tape of himself as a baby that he had seen when Lorne came back from Las Vegas. He thought about what he would need to do to keep the baby safe and provide for it. He found himself thinking about getting more serious about getting that GED and finding a job.

Julie touched his shoulder and said, "It's about time to go back."

Connor looked at his watch. He couldn't believe they had been out there for almost an hour. He wasn't ready to face anyone. He nodded and got up. As they were walking back to the hotel Julie said, "I don't want you to tell anyone else about this for now."

"I don't plan to tell anyone about it until we're married. I don't want any interference."

"I didn't agree to marry you yet."

"I know, but I'm not giving up on that yet."

Julie didn't answer, and they walked back in silence while holding hands.

When they got back to the hotel Julie went to Fred and asked if she could help with anything. Gunn saw Connor just standing there inside the lobby doors, and noticed the black eye right away. Gunn walked over to him and said, "What happened to your eye?"

Connor gave Gunn a blank look. "What?"

Gunn pointed to his eye. "You have a black eye. I assume Faith did it."

Connor said absently, "Oh that. Yeah she did, but it was my fault."

Gunn crossed his arms and said, "Maybe we better take this conversation to your room."

Connor looked at Gunn's body language for the first time since getting back and realized where this was headed. He couldn't deal with it right now. His entire thought process was too involved with Julie being pregnant to think about anything else. He looked Gunn in the eye, leaned close, and kept his voice low so only Gunn could hear. "I can't talk about anything right now. Could we please talk tonight after this mess with Angelus is taken care of?"

Gunn scrutinized Connor to see if he was trying to get out of punishment, or if he was genuinely too preoccupied with Angelus being on the loose to really listen to what Gunn had to say. Before Gunn could make a decision, the lobby doors opened to reveal a red haired young woman. She smiled at Connor and Gunn who were just inside the door and said, "Hi, I'm Willow."

Gunn held out his hand and said, "Nice to meet you. I'm Gunn, and this here is Angel's son Connor."

Willow shook hands with Gunn, and then Connor. She said, "Nice to meet you both."

Wesley had come out of the back room and was standing close by waiting. Willow took a good look at him and smiled as she said, "And you must be the Marlboro man."

Wesley ignored the slam about his appearance. "Thank you for coming."

She waved him off and scoffed, "Of course I'm gonna come when Angel needs some reinsouling." 

She started walking into the lobby as she talked, "Wouldn't want to leave that job for just anyone."

He followed her and then made introductions, "This is Lorne he's an empath demon."

Willow held out her hand and he shook. He let her go and said, "I could smell the power when you walked into the room honey. If anyone can get Angelcakes back it's you."

Willow smiled and said, "Next time I'll take a shower before heading out."

Wesley said, "This is Fred. Her and I have done a few spells together, so if you need any help, we're willing to try."

"I think I've got it covered. Nice to meet you Fred." 

Fred smiled and said, "It's very nice to meet you too. Maybe if you have some time later, you can show me the curse."

"Sure."

Wesley said, "This is Julie, Connor's girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you."

"You too."

Wesley noticed Faith had come out of the kitchen and was standing by the door. He said, "And you know Faith."

Faith gave Willow a nod and said, "Hey."

"Faith."

Wesley noticed Willow was holding a brown paper bag and said, "So how should we proceed?"

Willow smiled and put her bag down on the lobby's front desk. She got out a few supplies. "I'm going to need to do a locator spell first to make sure he's still in this city. He doesn't need to be right here, but he does need to be close. Then when we know he's close by, I'll do the curse."

Fred asked, "How can we help?"

"For the locator spell, I'll need something of his. A shirt that he has worn would work, but a piece of his hair would work better."

Connor said, "I'll get that."

Connor left the room and went to the basement. He came back a few seconds later with a few strands of hair and gave them to Willow. She spread out a map of the city, and put some candles around it. She put Angel's hair into some powder in her hand. She closed her eyes and said some words in Latin. Then she blew some of the dust across the map. Instantly little red dots appeared on the map, with one dot being brighter then the rest. She smiled, "He's close. It should work fine."

She said some words, and the map lost its red dots. She put that away, and got out a book and a round object. Wesley asked, "The Orb of Thesulah?"

"Yep."

Willow opened the book and started chanting in Latin. A few seconds into it her eyes turned black, and the air around her started to swirl. Her chanting got louder, and the people in the lobby all backed away from her a few steps. A few seconds later the air around the entire lobby started to swirl. Connor asked Wesley, "Is this normal? Is something wrong?"

"I'm unsure."

Willow put her hand up warding off an unseen foe, and yelled out some words in Latin. The air stopped moving, and Willow's eyes turned back to normal. She was a little out of breath. Faith said, "Is it done?"

Willow shook her head. "He must have known what we were planning. He's got some kind of protection. It's probably an object like a necklace that he has to ware to stay protected. I'll need to have him here so I can see what it is before I can disarm it, and do the curse."

Everyone in the room looked a little dejected at the news. Wesley said, "Faith?"

Faith nodded and said, "You, me, Connor, and Gunn. We'll take tranquilizer guns, and Connor can track."

Gunn looked over at Connor and said, "I want to talk to Connor for a few minutes before we go."

Connor glared and said in a loud voice, "I told you I don't want to talk right now. Let's just go and get this over with!"

Gunn shook his head, "I'd like to, but you're not going anywhere until I'm sure you've got _yourself_ under control. Facing Angelus is deadly at best, and if you're preoccupied with something else, then you shouldn't be hunting him."

Connor shook his head in disgust, and headed for the door as he said, "You know what, I'll go find him myself."

Gunn caught up with Connor in three steps and grabbed his upper arm to stop him. "I don't think so."

Connor tried to shove Gunn out of his way, but before he could actually lay his hands on Gunn, he was knocked out and thrown back a few feet by an invisible force. Willow looked around and said some words in Latin. Then she turned to Fred and said, "Some kind of spell?"

Gunn went over to Connor to check his vitals. Wesley said, "The sanctuary spell."

Julie went over to Connor too and said, "But that's only supposed to stop demon violence."

Lorne said, "It does only stop demon violence."

Julie looked back over at Connor, along with everyone else in the room. Gunn looked at Wesley and said, "Can you help me get him up to the couch. Who knows how long he'll be out."

Wesley and Gunn moved Connor to the couch. When they were done Faith said to Wesley, "Looks like it's just you and me. Probably better anyway, he seems to have trouble following orders. I'll be able to concentrate on Angelus better if I know Connor's not gonna do something stupid."

Gunn asked, "What happened between the two of you today?"

Faith said, "He didn't take cover when the beast was about to explode, and then when we found the bar with Angelus, he decided we should go in and try to capture him even after I told him no like three times."

Gunn got a grim look on his face and nodded. He said, "You sure you two can handle it? I can come too if you need me."

Faith shook her head. "We'll be fine. I saw where he was from the locator spell, and I have a plan. Come on Wes."

Wesley and Faith gathered up a few tranquilizer guns and left. Once they were in Wesley's car, Faith said, "First we need to go to the bar Angelus was in earlier." 

"But the locator spell that Willow just preformed showed Angelus across town."

"I know, but I need to pick something up before we go."

Wesley drove towards the bar while Faith explained her plan.


	27. Chapter 27

Author's Note: This has spoilers for the episodes Salvage, Release, and Orpheus.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 27

Connor slowly opened his eyes and put a hand up to his forehead, which was throbbing. He groaned at the pain, and then looked around. He realized he was in the lobby of the hotel and tried to remember how he got there. He remembered fighting with Gunn and then everything had gone blank. He wondered if he had been tazered from behind. But he didn't remember getting a headache from being tazered before. Then he wondered if he had fallen and hit his head. He heard Lorne's voice say, "Looks like sleeping broody is up."

Connor looked over towards the lobby's counter and saw Lorne and Gunn there. He sat up with a hand still holding his forehead. He said, "What happened?"

Gunn walked around the counter and up to Connor. He crossed his arms and said, "I think that's my question."

Connor looked around and didn't see anyone else. "Where is everyone? How long have I been out?"

"Ten minutes. Fred, Julie, and Willow just left for the local magic shop to get some supplies to disarm Angelus' charm, and Faith and Wes went after Angelus." 

"Alone? Why didn't they wait for me?"

Gunn leaned down into Connor's personal space and made eye contact. "Because you would have been more of a liability then a help."

Connor couldn't keep eye contact and said to the floor. "You're wrong."

Gunn grabbed Connor's arm, stood him up, and swatted him as hard as he could. Connor's eyes dared over to Lorne who was standing there with a somewhat disappointed look on his face. Connor tried to pull away from Gunn, but Gunn said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Unless you want to get knocked out again."

Connor stopped fighting and asked, "Did you tazer me?"

Gunn frowned, not wanting to have to tell Connor the truth, but knowing it was the right thing to do. He put his fingers on Connor's chin to make him look at him. "You were knocked out by the sanctuary spell."

Connor shook his head and said with disbelief, "No."

Gunn could tell from the tone of voice that Connor was pleading with him to tell him it wasn't true. Gunn pulled him into a hug and said, "I'm sorry, but it's true."

Connor stood in shock and let Gunn hug him. "But… I know Holtz said I was a demon, but I always thought…. Hoped I wasn't."

Gunn hugged him tighter and said, "I know, but it doesn't change who you are inside Connor. You're still you."

Lorne piped up with, "Look at the positive side kid. At least you look human, try being green with horns."

Gunn let go of Connor and turned to Lorne. "We'll be in Connor's room for a little while."

Lorne gave Connor a sympathetic look, but nodded and said, "I'll hold down the fort."

Gunn put a hand on Connor's shoulder and propelled him towards the stairs. Connor had had too many shocks in a short period of time to focus on any one thing, and didn't fight Gunn in the least. They made it to Connor's room, and Connor stopped just inside the door. There in the middle of his room was his desk chair, and on it was his metal ruler. He turned back towards Gunn with a look of apprehension.

Gunn pointed to Connor's bed and said, "Sit down. We're gonna talk."

Connor sat down, but kept looking over at the chair and ruler. Gunn shut Connor's bedroom door behind him, and leaned against the door. He had thought about things while Connor was passed out. He knew Connor would be upset about the news that he was a demon, and he thought giving Connor something else to focus his attention on could be a good thing. As soon as he had realized the girls were going to be gone, he had gone up to Connor's room to pull the desk chair out. He had known it would force Connor to focus on what was going to happen. Then Gunn had seen the ruler on the desk along with Connor's math homework, and decided it could have more then one use. He had put it on the chair and went back downstairs.

Gunn took a deep breath and walked towards Connor. He had told Connor that he would be getting spanked if he pushed him again, which he had. And he had told Connor he would be getting spanked if he didn't start following orders, which he hadn't. Now it was time to follow through, even if it wasn't what he wanted to do. Gunn stood in front of Connor with his arms crossed and said, "Faith had some interesting things to say about you before she left. Now I want your version. What happened when the Beast was going to explode, and what happened when you tracked Angelus?"

Connor sighed and said in a voice so low Gunn had trouble hearing it, "You never said I had to obey Faith. You said I had to obey you."

Gunn's first reaction was surprise, and then he smiled a little and shook his head. "Nice try Sparky, but you know as well as I do that Angel makes you listen to everyone in the team when we're fighting together. Obeying Faith was implied, and I don't care who says it, when someone yells 'take cover', you do it."

Connor muttered, "I didn't know he would explode like that."

"Exactly. You didn't know what would happen. You put your life, and hers, at risk since she had to go back for you."

Connor spit out, "She didn't have to. She could have left me there. I'm a demon right? I would have been fine."

Gunn shook his head at how stubborn Connor was. He walked over to the chair, picked up the ruler, and sat down. "Okay then demon boy. Come over here and let's see how fine you are in a few minutes."

Connor shook his head no and scooted a little farther away from Gunn, "Okay, okay…. So maybe I could have been hurt, and maybe I should have taken cover. I will next time."

Gunn let Connor stay where he was for the time being. He leaned forward a little and said, "What happened when you tracked Angelus?"

"We found him in a bar, and I could tell there were only a few vampires there. Faith is a Slayer, so I thought we could take them. Faith told me no, and I…. disagreed."

"Give me the play by play."

Connor looked down at his hands in his lap, and gave a fairly accurate account of what had transpired between him and Faith. Gunn would have found the image of Connor being marched down the street by Faith comical if he hadn't been upset by the fact that Connor had tried to physically fight with her. He said, "Look at me."

Connor did. Gunn said, "You tried to punch Faith?"

Connor could tell Gunn was much angrier now then he had been when they came into the room. Connor swallowed hard, knowing this wasn't going to go over well, and nodded his head yes. Gunn shook his head not knowing quite where to start. After a few seconds of thought he said, "Faith was leading, and you didn't follow her instructions. That's bad enough right there, but then to top that off, you actually tried to fight her? You know better then that. Would you have tried to fight me, Fred, or Wes?"

Connor shook his head no, and said, "It's not the same, she's not one of the team."

"You're right, it's not the same. It's more like when Angel asked you to trust his judgement about Lorne, and instead of doing that, you cut off Lorne's head."

Connor didn't like that comparison at all. "No it's not! I wasn't going to kill her. I was just going to put her in her place."

Gunn was too stunned to speak for a few seconds. When he did he said, "Put her in her place? What exactly do you mean by that Connor?"

Connor could see the muscles in Gunn's jaw clenching and knew he had said the wrong thing. He said, "I…. I just wanted to show her that I didn't have to do what she told me to do."

Gunn had to take some deep breaths and count to ten a few times while looking out the window. He knew he was overly sensitive about the abuse of women in general because he had spent so much time in shelters. When he could keep a level voice he asked, "Has Angel said anything to you about hitting women?"

Connor shook his head no. Gunn said, "When Angel is back we'll take you to a shelter I know of, and you can see what a woman looks like after a man has decided to 'put her in her place' by taking his fists to her, because I have to tell you it isn't pretty."

Connor didn't want to make Gunn even angrier, but he also felt he had to defend himself a little bit. "I would never hit Julie or Fred. Faith is different. She's a slayer. I've seen you beat up female vampires plenty of times."

Gunn thought about that for a few seconds. "You're right, Faith is different from most women. But Julie and Fred don't exactly try to tell you what to do now do they? So did you think it was okay to fight with Faith because she was a slayer, or did you think it was okay because she was calling the shots? Try to be honest with yourself and me about it."

Connor had to think about that. Eventually he said, "Both."

Gunn nodded, "Thanks for being honest. We'll talk more about that over the next few weeks, because I think there are some things I can tell you and show you that will help change your mind about things. But for now we need to get back to the immediate issue. What did I tell you I was gonna do if you tried to shove me again?"

Connor's face got slightly pink, and he looked out his bedroom window as he said, "You said you would spank me."

"Did you believe me?" 

"Yes."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I… I was upset... and I…. couldn't stop myself."

"Did I tell you to start following orders?"

"Yes."

Gunn used the ruler in his hand to point to a spot on the floor right next to the chair and said, "Then I think we're done talking. Come here."

Connor hung his head and trudged over to Gunn, hating being at this point again so soon, but not really blaming anyone but himself for being there. Once he got there, Gunn reached up and undid Connor's jeans. They fell to the floor, and Gunn pulled Connor over his lap. Connor felt Gunn pulling his underwear down too, and he groaned unhappily.

Gunn said, "Sorry kid, but I think the lesson will be learned quicker this way, and I need to see your skin so I can be sure I'm not actually damaging you."

Connor thought to himself that Gunn _would_ be damaging him and on purpose too, but didn't say it out loud. Gunn brought the ruler down as hard as he could on Connor's bare butt, and in response Connor's body jerked slightly. Gunn kept going, and after a good twenty swats Connor's behind was a definite pink color, and Connor started to shift around in an unconscious attempt to avoid the swats.

Thirty swats after that Connor was more then ready for it to be over. His squirms had evolved into kicking, and he shouted out, "I'm sorry Gunn! Please stop! I won't push you again!"

Gunn kept bringing the ruler down and said, "I hope you're right, but that doesn't change the fact that you already did it."

Connor groaned in frustration and pain, and after another ten swats he put his hand back to cover his rear. Gunn stopped and grabbed Connor's wrist. He tried to pull Connor's hand away, but it wouldn't budge. Gunn tried harder, but still couldn't make it move. Connor said, "Please Gunn, no more."

Gunn ground out, "Move your hand."

There were a few seconds of silence, and the hand didn't move. Gunn said, "The only thing you're doing right now is making this whole thing last longer. I will not stop because you tell me to. I'll stop when I decide you've been punished enough. Now move your hand, and keep it in front of you until I stop."

Connor slowly put his hand back in front of him. He immediately heard and felt the spanking start again, and cried out in pain. A few seconds later Connor's loud vocalizations turned into quiet crying. And quite a few swats after that, the quiet crying turned into louder crying.

Gunn didn't hear the crying over the loud smacking noises at first, but when he finally did hear it, Gunn's arm faltered. He looked down at the back of Connor's head and realized he was crying. Gunn hadn't counted on how that sound would make him feel. Connor's sobs made Gunn feel like crying himself. He looked over at Connor's butt and could tell it was a deep and angry looking red. He cleared his throat a couple of times and said, "You are going to follow orders and stop pushing me, or we're gonna end up here again. Is that something you want?"

Connor shook his head no as he cried. Gunn said, "Good, because neither do I."

Gunn gave him ten more swats all in the same spot, while Connor cried even louder, and then he stopped. He shook his head thinking to himself that when he had overheard Connor getting spanked, he had expected to hear yelling and crying, but now that he was the one causing it, the whole thing seemed harsher. Gunn tossed the ruler over onto the desk and rubbed Connor's back. He said, "It's over. You can get up."

Connor pushed himself to standing and fixed his underwear and pants while Gunn put the desk chair back under the desk. Connor was wiping at his face with his sleeves, and Gunn thought he looked pretty forlorn and lost. He walked over and pulled him into a hug. They stood that way for a few minutes while Connor cried.

When Connor was a little calmer Gunn said, "I know things have been chaotic and stressful for the past couple of weeks. And I know the reason you were upset enough to push me was because you're worried about your dad getting back to normal, but you have to look on the positive side of things instead of worrying about the negative. The Beast is dead, the sun is back, and we have a Slayer out there trying to save Angel for us. Things are getting better. When you start to feel like you're going to lose control again, you just have to hold on to that thought so you can make the right choice."

Gunn thought this would calm Connor down, but in fact it made him burst into tears again. Connor couldn't stop thinking that things weren't getting better. He was a demon with a baby on the way, and he had no clue how to deal with all the thoughts and emotions that brought on.

Gunn hugged him harder and said, "Hey now, I know it doesn't feel that way, and I know you and Angel are going to have a bumpy road ahead after all the things Angelus said and did, but the two of you will get through it. You know how I know?"

Connor shook his head no. "Because you're family."

After their stop at the bar, Wesley and Faith headed to the other side of town. They parked near a construction site where a new building was in the process of being built. Wesley looked around and said, "If he hasn't left, he should be within a few blocks of this spot."

Faith took a small thin box out of her inside jacket pocket and opened it up. Wesley said, "Shouldn't you wait until we're sure he's here?"

Faith took a syringe out of the box, along with a small green tube of liquid. She said, "It will last all night, and if we don't find him, I'll get some more tomorrow."

Wesley watched while she injected the liquid into her arm, and then put the empty tube and syringe back into the box. Faith and Wesley got out of the car with their tranquilizer guns. Faith took the lead and they started searching the construction site. A few seconds later Faith stopped while looking up. Wesley looked up as well, and saw a large cloth tarp that had the words, 'Welcome Faith' spray painted on it. Wesley said, "So much for the element of surprise."

"I knew he would hear me and Connor."

They heard Angelus' voice from above them. "Faith's right. Nice job kicking the kid's ass by the way. I suppose I should say thanks for the show."

They looked up and saw Angelus was standing a few feet above them on some scaffolding. Wesley took aim and fired his tranquilizer, but Angelus easily jumped out of the way. Faith took aim and fired as well, but Angelus was quicker then the darts no matter how good her aim was. Angelus laughed at them and said, "Where's the rest of the team?"

Faith smiled, "I didn't think I'd have much trouble taking you down. I told them to take a break for the evening until I brought you back."

Angelus got a knife out of his back pocket, jumped down from the scaffolding, and tossed the knife towards Wesley. It stabbed Wesley in the upper thigh, and he yelled in pain. Faith rushed Angelus and soon they were engaged in hand to hand combat with both of them moving so fast, Wesley had trouble discerning which one of them was winning.

Wesley limped a few feet back, and examined his wound. He didn't think the knife had hit any major arteries. He took his belt off, and used it to make a tourniquet right above the knife. Then he took a deep breath, and yanked the knife out of his leg with a loud scream. He looked to see what kind of progress Faith was making, and was disheartened to see her get tossed to the floor with some blood on her face. He took aim at Angelus again, and fired the last tranquilizer at him. Angelus ducked just in time to avoid it. He turned to Wesley and said, "You'd better play nice Wes, or I'll make you last for days."

As Angelus was talking, Faith jumped up and kicked him in the stomach. He went flying backwards and broke some of the scaffolding when he crashed into it. Faith ran after him to keep up with the attack. While they were fighting Wesley took off his jacket and tied it around his wound.

As the fight went on Angelus knocked Faith down again and again, and as she got up slower and slower, Angelus was able to kick her while she was down. She had to spit out some blood after the kick to her abdomen. Angelus said, "What's the matter Faith? Not as easy a job as you thought it would be?"

He ran at her and tried to kick her again, but she surprised him by moving out of the way at the last second. He turned to face her again, and she was standing. He smiled at her. "So tell me why you really came out here with only Wes for backup."

"Why don't you tell me, since you like the sound of your own voice so much."

"Well I do have a theory."

Faith glared at him, and tried to find the right moment to attack. She played along, "Well then enlighten me."

"You're still trying to make up for all the stuff you did in your early years. Angel's little protégé, running around trying to prove that the good inside you outweighs the bad. If it weren't so pathetic it'd be funny. No I take that back, it really is funny."

As Angelus was chuckling, Faith yelled and ran at him. Angelus quickly had her down on the ground with a heavy punch to the stomach. This time when she was down, Angelus knelt down behind her and pulled her up by her hair until she was in a sitting position. He tilted her head to the side and whispered in her ear, "Looks like you failed sweetie. See you in hell."

He bit her neck and she whimpered as he started drinking her blood. Angelus kept an eye on Wesley, expecting him to try and stop him, and looking forward to jamming his fist into Wesley's wound. But when Wesley just stood there watching, Angelus realized something was wrong and stopped drinking. He let go of Faith's neck, and looked over at Wesley with blood dripping off his fangs trying to figure out what they were planning. Then Wesley suddenly went out of focus and Angelus looked down at Faith. Faith gave him a weary smile and said, "See you back in Angel."

Angelus tried to get up and step away from her but found he couldn't get up off his knees. He yelled, "You bitch!"

He tried to hit her, but he overshot the mark, and ended up on his face on the ground. A second later he was passed out. Faith looked over at Wesley and then passed out herself.

Willow, Fred, and Julie walked into the hotel all smiling as Willow finished up a story about Angel and Buffy in their early days. Julie noticed Connor wasn't on the couch anymore and turned to Lorne who was standing by the counter. She said, "Where's Connor?"

"He's upstairs resting in his room. That sanctuary spell really knocks it out of you."

Gunn came out of the kitchen holding a plate with a couple of sandwiches on it. He smiled at them and said, "Did you girls get what you need to get that protective thingy off Angelus?"

"Yep." Willow said.

Julie said, "Can I go up and see Connor, or is he sleeping?"

Gunn thought about it for a second, and then held out the plate to her. "You can take this to him, but if he's asleep, don't wake him up."

Julie took it and said, "Thanks."

Gunn looked all around and said, "Anyone else want a sandwich for dinner while we wait for Wes and Faith?"

Fred and Willow both said they would like one, and Gunn went back into the kitchen while Julie took the plate up to Connor.

Connor could hear Julie in the hallway before she knocked on his door, and got up off his bed. He checked his face to see if it was obvious he had been crying. He could tell, and thought she probably would be able to as well. She knocked on his door lightly, and opened it. He turned around and looked at her. She smiled and said, "I brought you some… are you okay?"

Connor looked down at the floor and shook his head no. She closed the door behind her, put the plate on his desk and went over to him. She wrapped her arms round his middle and said, "What's wrong?"

Connor knew how she felt about Angel because he spanked him, and he didn't want her to dislike Gunn as well. But he found he could still tell her the partial truth about why he had been crying. He put his arms around her too and said, "I'm a demon."

She hugged him harder and said, "I still love you."

He gently pushed her away from him so he could look in her eyes, and said, "You don't understand. If I'm a demon, then our baby, the baby you have inside you right now, is a demon too. That's why you already know you're pregnant, even though it's too soon. What if you're body can't take it? What if the baby hurts you somehow?"

Julie put a hand up to Connor's face and said, "This baby was made out of our love Connor. It's not gonna hurt me. And even if you are a demon, no one could make me believe you are anything but good, so our baby will be good too. I know it was kind of a shock to find out, and then finding out you're a demon on top of it….. Well I understand it's a lot to take. But you're not in it alone. We're partners in this. Okay?"

He felt more tears coming down his face, but this time they were tears of relief. He nodded, leaned down, and kissed her on the mouth. It was gentle at first, but it soon turned demanding. Julie kissed him back with just as much urgency, and they started pulling at each other's clothes. Connor picked her up and carried her to the bed while still kissing her. He put her down and got her pants off quickly, while she worked at the button and zipper of his jeans. She yanked his jeans and underpants down, and he jumped slightly and hissed in pain as she dragged the jeans off his butt. She stopped in mid pull and said, "What?"

He instantly regretted having started this whole thing, and blushed when he realized he was gonna have to explain. He just had been lost in his emotions, and hadn't thought about it before hand. Before he could say anything, Julie had sat up, and leaned over so she could see his rear end. She gasped. She started out sounding surprised and sympathetic, but ended up sounding angry, "Oh, Connor…. Who did this to you?"

Connor pulled his pants back up, not wanting her to see and said, "It doesn't matter."

Julie glared towards his door and said, "Gunn did it."

"Please don't be mad at him, it was completely my own fault."

Julie glared at him, "Your fault? How did they brain wash you into believing that someone else beating you is your own fault? It's not your fault Connor."

Connor lay down on the bed on his side so he was facing her, and she lay down with him. He said, "I'm sorry it upsets you Julie, but you're never going to convince me that I didn't do anything wrong to deserve punishment, because I know I did. You seem to think Angel and Gunn are spanking me because they hate me, but that's just not true. I wish I could find a way to explain it to you, and make you understand….."

Julie put a hand on Connor's face and gave him a gentle kiss on the mouth. She said, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to make it worse for you."

He gave her a small smile and said, "Thanks."

She started to undo his pants again and he put a hand on her wrist to stop her. She said, "You don't want to?"

Connor gave her an indecisive, "Well I do, I just….."

She kissed him and whispered, "I won't look." as she got his pants undone, and carefully pulled them down.

A little later Connor wolfed down his food, and could almost feel his body making repairs. He looked over at Julie and saw that she had fallen asleep. He walked over and pulled the covers up higher on her, and kissed her forehead. He went downstairs to see if there was any news from Faith or Wesley.

He saw the group standing at the counter watching Willow mixing some thing in a bowl. He said, "A witch making a potion?"

Willow smiled at him, "Kinda stereotypical huh?"

He shrugged, "If it works, I'm all for it."

Gunn gave him a smile and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"I'm glad."

The door to the lobby burst open, and everyone turned to see Wesley limping in, and carrying a passed out and bloody Faith. Gunn and Connor ran to help him. He shook his head, kept a hold of Faith, and said, "Get Angelus. He's in the back of my car."

Gunn and Connor went to get Angelus, and Lorne took Faith from Wesley. He lay her down gently on the larger couch off to the side. Fred went up to Wesley to help him limp down the lobby stairs and she said, "You're injured."

"Knife wound to the leg. It's deep, and I'll need a few stitches."

Connor and Gunn came in carrying Angelus. Connor said, "How long will he be out?"

Wesley shook his head. "I'm unsure. He's not tranquilized, he's drugged, and I don't know how long the effects will last."

Lorne said, "Drugged with what?"

"Orpheus."

Lorne looked surprised and looked over at Faith, "Orpheus is nasty stuff. Why would you let her take it?"

"It was her choice."

Lorne gave Wesley a glare and said, "Did you explain the risks?"

Connor indicated Angelus and he said, "Should we go down and put him in the cage?"

Lorne shook his head, "Angelus will be out for hours."

Gunn looked at Willow and said, "Where do you want him?"

"Right there on the floor will be fine."

They put him down, and stepped away. Willow took a handful of the potion she had mixed and walked to Angelus. She held out her hand and let some of it drip on Angelus' head. She said some words in Latin, and then knelt down to look at his left wrist. She found the protective talisman, and smeared some of the potion on it while saying some more words in Latin. She smiled as she took it off his wrist. She held it up and said, "Got it."

Fred asked, "Can you do the curse now, or does he have to be awake?"

"I'll do it now. I know I for one never want to see Angelus again."

She walked over to the counter, picked up the Orb of Thesulah, and started the curse. As she was chanting, her eyes turned black and the air swirled around in the hotel. The orb started glowing, and levitated as she chanted. Suddenly Angelus went stiff, and his back arched off the floor for a few seconds. As quickly as it started, everything stopped. The wind died down, the Orb of Thesulah stopped glowing, and dropped into Willow's hand, and Willow's eyes were back to normal. She smiled at everyone and said, "It's done."

Everyone looked down at Angel. His body had gone slack again, and he lay still, passed out on the floor. After a few seconds of silence Connor asked, "How do we know for sure?"

Willow said, "I'm sure, but I suppose you won't know for yourselves until he wakes up."

Connor turned to Wesley and said, "Should we put him in the cage just in case?"

Wesley shook his head. "Willow knows what she's doing. Let's move Faith to one of the bedrooms, and put Angel on the couch."

Gunn went to Faith and picked her up. He carried her to one of the bedrooms, while Connor and Lorne got Angel to the couch. Fred said, "I need to take Wesley to the E/R to get his leg stitched up."

Wesley shook his head, "We have the supplies here to…."

Fred interrupted, "No arguments. We're going."

Wesley raised his eyebrows at that, but Fred just started them towards the door. Wesley said, "Well I suppose it couldn't hurt to get it checked out by a professional."

He looked at Connor on his way out, and said, "Tell Gunn I'll be back in a few hours, and make sure someone is watching both Faith and Angel at all times."

"Okay."

Gunn came back downstairs and said, "I put her in the first bedroom on the right. Where's Wes?"

Connor gave Gunn the information from Wesley, and Lorne said, "I'll sit with Faith. Will someone bring me some warm water, some disinfectant, and some gauze to clean up her wounds?"

Connor nodded, "I'll bring those up to you."

Willow said, "I'll watch Angel. I kind of wanted to talk to Faith before I left, so if no one minds I think I'll spend the night."

Gunn sat down beside Willow and said, "That's fine. I'll keep you company, and if you get tired I'll show you to one of the spare rooms."

Connor went to go get the first aid kit, and took it to Lorne. While Lorne was cleaning Faith's wounds Connor saw the one on her neck and said, "Angelus bit her?"

Lorne kept his eyes focused on Faith and cleaning her wounds as he talked to Connor. "Orpheus is a powerful drug that has both straight physical effects and magical effects. Humans inject themselves with the drug, and then let vampires feed off the tainted blood. Both get a high off of it. Some people hate it so much the first time they take it that they never try it again. Other people can't stop. I've seen more then one death over this stuff. It builds in their system. But the magical side of it makes it even more deadly then other drugs. Plenty of people die the first time they try it. The vampires are almost always fine, because they're already dead, but a few of them have been known to be unconscious for days."

Connor looked over at Faith and said, "She got Angelus when none of the rest of us could. She can't have this death."

Lorne looked at him with surprise. "I don't see how you think you can prevent it Junior. What's done is done. All we can do now is hope and pray that she pulls through."

"There's no medication that can help? No spells? No magic?"

"Not that I know of."

Connor looked at Faith and said, "Angel doesn't want more blood on his hands, and Faith doesn't deserve death."

Connor stalked out of the room and ran into Julie in the hallway. He gave her a smile, "It's done."

"What's done?"

"Faith captured Angelus, and Willow did the spell to put his soul back."

Julie looked surprised, "How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour." 

"Wow, that was fast."

Connor said, "I've got to go out, and try to find a way to help Faith. I'll tell you about it later, but for now I need to hurry."

Julie cocked her head to the side and said, "A few hours ago she gave you a black eye, and now you want to help her?"

Connor copied her head motion and said with confusion, "The two events have nothing to do with each other."

Julie nodded, and said, "I know, but most people would hold a grudge about the punch, and wouldn't want to help."

"Then most people are wrong."

Julie smiled and said, "I guess they are."

Connor went down to see Gunn sitting and visiting with Willow. He said, "Gunn?"

"Yeah?"

"Lorne said Faith might die from the drug she took to capture Angelus. I want to go try and find something that will help her."

Gunn was very pleased that Connor was asking instead of telling, and thought that either the spanking had worked wonders, or Connor was just a lot more relieved now that Angel was back. Gunn nodded and said, "Okay, we'll go together and see what we can find. We'll call Wes and see if he knows where she got it, and we'll start there."

Connor was happy that Gunn didn't have any arguments for letting Connor search for something. "Great. Thanks."

A few hours later in the very early hours of the next morning, Gunn and Connor came back to the hotel tired but triumphant. They saw Willow asleep in the chair next to Angel who was still passed out. They went up to the room with Lorne and Faith and saw Wesley was there asleep in a chair. Lorne was holding Faith's hand and singing to her. When he saw Connor and Gunn he stopped the song, and said, "Did you find anything?"

Connor held up a shot with a clear substance in it. He said, "It took a while, but eventually we found a doctor at one of the free clinics who gave us this. He's treated more then one person who's taken Orpheus, and he said this was the only thing that seems to help. It's epinephrine with a small protective spell done on it. This guy's cousin is a witch, and she helped him make these. He says it only works on about half the people that get brought in, but it's the only thing we found."

Connor tried to hand it to Lorne who didn't take it. Wesley had woken up while Connor was talking, and he said, "I'll do it."

Connor gave the shot to him, and Wesley deftly injected it into Faith's arm. Ten seconds later Faith opened her eyes and suddenly sat up in bed breathing hard. She looked around the room with her eyes wide open and said, "Angel?"

Lorne patted her shoulder, "Willow did the curse, and he's asleep down in the lobby. He hasn't woken up from the drugs yet, but I wouldn't worry about that unless he doesn't wake up by early this afternoon."

Faith lay back down, closed her eyes, and muttered, "Good. I'm just gonna rest for a little while longer."

Lorne shooed everyone out of the room, turned off the lights, and closed the door behind them. He said, "She'll be fine. Now she just needs to sleep it off."

Later that morning most of the gang slept in. Fred was the first up, and saw Angel still on the couch with Willow asleep in the chair next to him. Fred made some coffee and when she came back out to the lobby with a cup of it, she saw that Willow was awake. She said, "If you want to go freshen up and get some coffee, I'll sit with him."

Willow smiled, "Thanks."

"If you want a shower, you can use my room. It's the fourth door on the left."

"That sounds heavenly."

Fred leaned back and drank her coffee relaxing. A few minutes later Angel opened his eyes and looked around. He made eye contact with Fred and said, "Fred?"

"Angel?"

Angel turned a little red and looked away as he said, "Sorry about the…. inappropriate touching."

Fred pulled her robe closer together and said, "That's okay…. It's good to have you back."

Angel put a hand up to his forehead, and groaned as he thought about all the things Angelus had done. Fred said, "I'm gonna go wake everyone up."

Angel nodded, but didn't take his hand off his forehead or open his eyes. Fred went upstairs and knocked on Wesley's door first. A few seconds later he answered and Fred said, "Angel's awake."

Wesley nodded, "I'll be right down."

Next she woke up Gunn, then Lorne, and last went to Connor's door. He opened it, and Fred saw that Julie was asleep on his bed instead of in her own room. She said, "Connor honey, Angel's awake."

Connor nodded, but looked nervous. "Okay."

"I'm gonna go down and keep him company until the rest of you come down."

"Okay." Connor looked back at Julie and decided to let her sleep as he got himself dressed.

Fred went downstairs and found the couch empty. For a second she had a terrifying thought that maybe Angel wasn't really Angel, until she saw him come out of the kitchen holding a mug of pig's blood. There was an awkward silence and then Angel said, "How's Faith?"

"I don't know."

Wesley came down the stairs and said, "She's fine. She's asleep right now, but she woke up once already, so we know it's a natural sleep she's in."

Angel noticed Wesley's limp and said, "I'm sorry about the leg…. And more sorry then I can say about Lilah."

Wesley looked away and said, "I understand it wasn't you Angel, and I appreciate the sentiment because I know it's genuine, but…. I just….. I can't talk about that yet. I'm going to go bury her today."

Angel nodded in understanding and said, "You did a fine job of leading while I was gone. Angelus lied to you about that you know. I never thought you'd let me down, and I didn't leave you in charge for some kind of second chance. I left you in charge because I knew you'd be the best person for the job."

Wesley wasn't sure what to say to that, and the room grew silent. Soon Lorne and Gunn came down the stairs as well, closely followed by Connor. The silence lingered and finally Angel said, "I'm sorry you all had to meet Angelus. Maybe it wasn't the best plan to bring him out in the first place, but we can't live our lives always thinking about the things we regret. I'm deeply sorry for all the things Angelus did to hurt each of you, but I think we should focus more on the fact that the sun is back, and the Beast is killed. You all did a wonderful job of keeping things under control while I was gone. I'm truly grateful to all of you for staying strong and keeping the faith when things were grim."

Lorne said, "Sing for me."

Angel thought about it and sang a few bars, "I write the songs that make the whole world sing. I write the songs of love and special things."

Lorne held up his hand to make Angel stop and said, "It's definitely Angel."

After a few seconds of silence Wesley said, "I'm going to take Lilah out of town to a secluded spot I know of, and bury her."

Everyone nodded, and Wesley went to get Lilah out of the basement. The lobby was silent while everyone watched Wesley carry her out to his car. Once he was gone Angel said, "Gunn, Connor, could I talk to you in my office?"

Lorne said, "I'm gonna go check on Faith."

Fred said, "I'll make some breakfast for everyone."

Angel walked into his office followed by Gunn, and more slowly by Connor. Connor shut the door behind them when he went in. Angel looked at Connor and opened his mouth, but then closed it again not sure how to start. He instead turned to Gunn and said, "Thanks for watching out for Connor while I was gone, and I'm sorry about the things Angelus said to you….. I'm sure it added to you and Fred splitting up, and to you and Wes fighting."

Gunn shrugged, "Fred and I have been trying to work things out for a while now. I think we both understood it was just a matter of time. And you know I'm always gonna be there for Connor, and I think he knows it now too."

Angel turned to Connor and said, "Angelus always is the most evil to the ones I love the most. I never wanted you to see me like that…. The things he said to you…. Did to you….. I…. I want to somehow be able to take them all back, but I know it's not possible. All I can do is say I'm so sorry, and try to build back your trust."

Tears were going down Angel's face as he talked. Connor found himself crying too and said, "I thought I understood it before, but I didn't. Now I know without a doubt that you and Angelus are completely different entities sharing the same body. When you…. He fought with me, I realized you've never used your full strength on me. And when he…."

Connor's hand went up to his neck, and Angel thought that maybe he would lose his breakfast. "When he bit me and drank from me I knew for sure it wasn't you."

Angel couldn't look at Connor anymore and said quietly, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all of it."

Connor thought it was very surreal to be listening to his father cry and make apologies to him. He understood why Angel felt that way, but it didn't comfort Connor, or make him feel better about any of the things that had happened. He was more embarrassed then anything else seeing Angel looking heartsick. He mumbled, "It's okay Dad."

Angel looked up at Connor and shook his head. "It's not okay, but I hope in time it will be."

Gunn looked back and forth between father and son, and knew they were both unsure of where to go from here. After a little bit of awkward silence Gunn put a hand in the middle of Connor's back and gave him a gentle push in Angel's direction. He said, "You two are gonna have to touch again sometime after all the trauma, and I'm thinking the sooner the better."

Connor only went about two steps, and then stopped and looked at the floor, not really sure if he wanted Angel to touch him at all. Angel looked over at Gunn wondering if he were right or not. He didn't want to rush Connor into anything if he felt uncomfortable. Gunn glared at Angel and gave him a nod towards Connor as if to say, 'Give him a hug you dummy.'

Angel took the three steps to Connor and saw him flinch before he pulled him into a tight hug. Angel didn't even try to stop the tears that came down his face as he said, "I love you Connor. I love you, and I'm sorry I hurt you."

After a few seconds Connor hugged him back. He hadn't been sure if he had wanted this or not, but now that Angel was hugging him, it felt right and it felt familiar. He found he was comforted, and for the most part felt safe. He whispered, "It wasn't you."

They stood like that for a few minutes and while they were still hugging Gunn said, "I want to get everything out in the open right now, so there aren't any surprises later on down the road."

Angel felt Connor hug him tighter, and he did the same. Gunn said, "I spanked Connor twice while you were Angelus."

Angel glared at Gunn with hate and said, "What?"

Gunn almost took a step back at the look, but stood his ground and gave Angel a steady look, "You told me to look after him, and I did. Connor deserved it both times. Do you want to hear about it, or do you want to punch me out?"

Angel held Connor even closer, and angled him slightly away from Gunn without really being aware of what he was doing. He glared at Gunn and said, "Explain, and then we'll see if I feel like punching you out."

Gunn tried not to be hurt by Angel's behavior. He understood Angel being overly protective of Connor at this point, because of the things Angelus had done, but he was hurt that Angel didn't trust him. He was about to explain when Connor pushed away from Angel and said, "Don't be mad at Gunn. If it weren't for Gunn….. I would have lost it when you were Angelus. I did deserve it…. both times."

Gunn gave Connor a proud smile and said, "Thanks for sticking up for me kiddo."

He looked over at Angel who looked somewhat mollified. Gunn said, "The first time was for chasing you after I told him to stay put, and the….."

Angel interrupted with a loud, "You spanked him after I had beaten the crap out of him, and drank from him?"

Gunn crossed his arms, glared at Angel, and said, "If he had listened to me, and stayed where he was, you never would have had the chance to beat the crap out of him, or drink from him. How much less guilt would you be feeling right about now if Connor had just obeyed me?"

Angel refused to answer that and just looked down at the floor. He understood what Gunn was telling him, and on some level he agreed, but he couldn't stop feeling angry at Gunn and protective of Connor when he heard that he had gotten more punishment that night. Gunn said, "Why don't you let me tell you the whole thing before you interrupt again?"

Angel gave a slight nod of his head. Gunn said, "After his encounter with you….. well with Angelus, I brought Connor home, and cleaned him up. I fed him and made him take one of those painkillers they gave us for his ribs before I put him to bed for a nap. When he woke up, I made sure that he was starting to heal, and that he felt better before I spanked him. And even then I wouldn't say it was all that harsh. It was more like me proving to him that I was serious."

Gunn looked over to Connor for conformation of this, and Connor looked at Angel as he said with embarrassment, "It's true."

Gunn said, 'The second time was yesterday evening for not listening to Faith when they were out, and for physically pushing me when he didn't agree with what I was telling him to do."

Angel sighed. He had seen Connor blatantly defy Faith, and knew Gunn was justified in punishing Connor for it, especially if he had done the same to Gunn. Angel looked at Gunn and said, "I know you did the best you could with him, and logically I can say you did the right thing, but I'm still kind of feeling the urge to sock you one."

Gunn nodded in understanding and then turned to Connor. "You want to tell him about the sanctuary spell, or should I?"

Connor looked at Angel and said with a fair amount of sarcasm, "I guess we have even more proof that I'm your son, because the sanctuary spell knocked me out when I tired to push Gunn. Congratulations, it's a demon."

Angel looked surprised and then turned to Gunn for conformation. Gunn gave a little nod. Angel pulled Connor into another hug, not knowing what else to do. Angel said, "I love you Connor, that's never gonna change, demon or not. And you're still the same person you were before you found out."

Connor nodded and returned the hug, "Yeah, Gunn already gave me the same talk. Along with the 'don't hit women' talk, and the 'obey the members of the team' talk, and the 'didn't I tell you what I would do if you pushed me again' talk. Who knew he was so talkative."

Angel was slightly surprised that Connor was ready to joke about things so soon, and looked down at him to see that Connor was looking at Gunn and giving him a little smile. Gunn was smiling back and even chuckled before saying, "Who knew the little troublemaker could actually listen to all my talking?"

Angel felt a flash of jealousy at seeing the bond that had obviously formed between Gunn and Connor. He let Connor go and said, "Well… any other big things that went on while I was out of commission?"

Connor and Gunn looked at each other for a second, and then Gunn said, "I don't think so."

Angel went to sit down and said, "Why don't the two of you sit, and you can tell me everything I missed?"

Connor and Gunn spent the next half an hour telling Angel everything that had happened while he was away, with Connor leaving out the fact that Julie was pregnant. By the time it was all over, Angel was feeling better about the whole thing, but still felt a lot of guilt over the things that Angelus had done, and found that he still had some unwanted jealousy over how close Connor and Gunn seemed to be. When it was all done Angel said, "I'm really proud of you Connor, for keeping it together as well as you did, and for accepting Gunn as an authority figure while I was away. I know it wasn't easy, and I want you to know I appreciate it."

Connor blushed, feeling kind of good about Angel's praise, and said, "Okay."

Angel got up and said, "I think we should go check on Faith, since you went to all the trouble to find something to save her."

Connor and Gunn got up as well. Connor went out the door first, and Angel said, "You go on, I'm gonna talk to Gunn alone for just a second."

Connor nodded and headed up the stairs to see Faith. Gunn and Angel stared at each other for a second, and Gunn said warily, "You still want to punch me?"

Angel shook his head and held out his hand to shake. Gunn put his hand in Angel's, and Angel pulled Gunn into a hug. Angel said quietly, "Thank you." and then let him go.

Gunn was too surprised to do much besides stand there and watch Angel walk away towards the stairs to check on Faith. Gunn eventually smiled and went to see Faith himself.

Later that afternoon Faith woke up, and declared she felt better then she had in months. Everyone was fussing over her, and she told them all to get over it, as she got out of bed and found her way to the kitchen to eat. While she ate Willow told Faith about the things that were happening in Sunnydale, and Faith easily agreed to go with her to help out Buffy.

Willow and Faith were all packed and ready to go, and Fred, Gunn, Angel, Connor, Lorne, and Julie were all standing in the lobby to say goodbye. Willow went over and hugged Angel tight saying, "I'll send Buffy your love."

He hugged her back and said, "Thank you Willow, I'm so glad you were able to come and help."

Willow let him go and said, "Anytime, and hey, I got a Slayer out of the deal, so I'm not exactly leaving empty handed."

She waved at everyone else, and then stood by the lobby doors while Faith went up to Angel and said, "I hope you don't expect a hug."

"Wouldn't think of it. Thanks for not giving up on me."

"Just returning the favor."

Faith turned to Connor and said, "Lorne told me what you did. Said you might have saved my life."

Connor shrugged. "The world needs Slayers. By saving your life I saved countless other lives."

She walked up to him, grabbed his face in hers and planted a kiss on his mouth. His eyes were wide with surprise when she pulled her face away but kept her hands on his face. "Thanks. I owe you one."

She turned, walked towards Willow, and called over her shoulder. "Bye everyone."

Willow and Faith walked out the door. Connor watched them leave still too stunned to react. He felt Julie's hand in his and he looked over at her. She was clearly angry and muttered, "I don't like her."

Connor decided the best move would be to change the subject. He looked over at Angel and said, "Now that everything is back to normal, I was planning to take Julie back to her place today."

Angel nodded and said, "That's a good idea."

He looked at Julie and said, "I'm sorry you had to meet Angelus, and especially sorry that he scared you. We are not the same person."

Julie nodded and said, "I can see that now. Thanks for letting me stay in the hotel when the sun was gone and that Beast was on the loose. I do appreciate it."

Angel smiled and thought this was a large improvement over their usual exchange. Connor pulled Julie's hand and said, "Let's get your stuff packed."

An hour later Connor and Julie were in Julie's apartment having some tea. He looked her over and said, "How are you feeling?"

She put a hand on her stomach and said, "The baby and I are doing great."

He smiled for a second and then got a serious look on his face. "Have you thought anymore about getting married?"

"I still want time to think about that Connor. It's a big step."

Connor said, "Maybe we should ask Angel about…"

Julie interrupted, "No! I mean… I really don't want anyone else to know about this right now. It's our little secret. I want us to have a clear picture of what we are going to do about all of this before we tell anyone."

Connor nodded. "You're right. He'll try to sway me one way or the other. We need to make the decisions about the baby and us on our own."

Julie smiled at him and gave him a kiss. "Thank you for understanding Connor. It means so much to me that you're putting my needs and the needs of our baby first."

Connor said, "I've got to get back. I have tutoring to do, and you need to find out if your classes are back as scheduled now that the sun is back."

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow."

Connor gave her a kiss and then put a hand on her stomach and said, "See you both later." before heading back to the hotel.


	28. Chapter 28

Author's Note: This story has been a really long time coming, so this chapter is dedicated to all of you fans who kept asking me about the story, and wanting updates. I hope you like it.

How It Should Have Been Chapter 28

Connor lay next to Julie on her twin size bed made for one, and gently pressed his ear up against her exposed stomach. There was a tiny bump there, small enough to easily be covered up by loose clothing.

"Can you feel it move yet?" he asked.

"Not yet." She brushed her fingers through his hair. "Connor?"

"Hmm?"

"I went to see the doctor on campus today."

Connor sat up abruptly. "Why? Is something wrong? Why didn't you call me? I…"

She put a finger up to his lips to stop the stream of questions, and pulled at him until he was resting on the bed facing her. "Nothing's wrong. I'm sorry I didn't call you, but I wanted to get checked out without a bunch of questions about the baby's father. The doctor said that the baby and I are perfectly healthy."

"Good," he said with relief.

"He also said that I'm three months along."

Connor propped himself up on his elbow. "But that can't be right… you said the baby was conceived the night the fire fell from the sky, and that was only three weeks ago."

"I guess that means she's more like you than…"

"She?" Connor cut her off.

"It's too soon to know for sure. I just think it's a girl," Julie said with a smile. "And I think she's more like you than me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well if I broke a bone, it would take me a month or longer to heal. It only takes you two days. Our baby is growing faster than a human baby would. If she keeps going at this rate, she'll be born in about six weeks."

"Six weeks!" Connor sat up, feeling sick to his stomach. "But we're still not married! We can't have the baby out of wedlock, Julie. It's an affront to God."

She sat up as well, and put both her hands on the sides of his face to make sure they had eye contact. "Hey, I've told you that's not the way things are anymore. The baby will be happy and healthy whether we are married or not." She kissed him on the forehead and said, "I'm not saying no. I'm saying give me a little more time. I promise I'll give you an answer next week."

He took her hands in his and said, "I swear to you that I'll do everything in my power to take care of you and our baby for the rest of my life. No matter what."

"I know you will." She leaned in to kiss him, and they lay back down on the bed together.

# # #

Angel stood at the counter, trying not to stare at the clock, or at the lobby doors.

Gunn noticed the furtive glances, and said, "He's getting worse."

"What?" Angel asked.

"Connor."

Angel glared at the counter. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Gunn rolled his eyes, but kept his mouth shut. He knew things were still strained between Angel and Connor. The aftershock of meeting Angelus had everyone a little jumpy that first week. And he could understand why Angel was hesitant to be strict with Connor after the things Angelus had said. But somewhere in the second week, Connor had started taking advantage of his father's current approach to parenting. Gunn wasn't sure if it was intentional on Connor's part, but he knew Connor was getting worse every day. While Gunn was thinking things over, the phone rang.

Lorne beat both Angel and Gunn to pick it up. "Angel Investigations," Lorne said with a cheery smile. His hopeful expression fell as he said, "We're not interested in donating this year."

Once Lorne hung up, Gunn sighed, "If things keep going like this, we're gonna have to start taking the normal human cases to pay the bills."

Lorne sipped at his drink and said, "Where are all the things that used to go bump in the night?"

"We should be happy," Angel said with a scowl. "Having no calls means that people aren't being attacked by monsters. A lot of vampires fried when the sun came back, and the others are still afraid to show themselves." He heard the lobby doors open, and turned to see Connor walking in.

"Hey," Connor said with a casual smile.

Angel's scowl deepened. "You're late."

Connor shrugged. "Sorry," he said without sounding remorseful in the least. "I had my cell phone on."

Angel huffed and muttered, "Next time call if you're going to be late."

"Okay."

Gunn had to literally bite his tongue to keep from blurting out something he'd regret. He thought, _That's it? The kid is almost an hour late, he didn't finish his tutoring before he left, and all you have to say is call next time? _

"Connor!" Gunn barked out, unable to keep completely quite about things.

"Yeah?" Connor asked cautiously, noting the irritation in Gunn's stance.

"The next time you're late for one of your tutoring sessions with me, I'm gonna make you do two hours instead of one. It's rude to leave people hanging, man."

Actually looking contrite this time, Connor muttered, "Sorry, Gunn."

It was Angel's turn to bite his tongue. He was still jealous of the bond Gunn and Connor had formed while Angelus was in control of his body. He knew Gunn loved Connor and only wanted what was best for him, but he still hated it when Gunn took a parental tone with his son. Angel glared daggers at the counter to keep himself from glaring at Gunn.

The phone rang again, and Lorne answered. "Angel Investigations… Really? I'll have someone there in a jiff." Lorne hung up with a smile. "Vampire nest in the sewer under Highland Street somewhere between fifth and ninth."

"Great." Angel clapped his hands together and walked to the weapons cabinet with a grin. "Let's go kill something."

# # #

Before going down to fight, Angel whispered, "I hear at least five different voices. Connor?"

"At least five. Probably more like eight."

"Okay." Angel said, "We'll all stick together down there. Back to back." He looked specifically at Connor and said, "No running off on your own to chase one of them down."

After getting a nod from both of his teammates, Angel lifted the manhole cover, and jumped down into the sewer. Connor jumped down as well, but Gunn climbed down rather than jumping. Angel and Connor had both made a kill before Gunn made it down the short wall ladder.

The nest was bolder and more viscous than most. The three men found themselves surrounded and fighting in earnest before Gunn's feet touched the tunnel floor. It made for a violent battle that was quickly over. Once the last vampire was dusted, an unnatural silence filled the tunnel. The calm was disturbed by a faint scratching noise around the bend to the right. Connor and Angel turned their heads towards the noise in unison. Angel opened his mouth to give an order, but before he could say anything, Connor darted off towards the noise with determination on his face. Gunn and Angel were too surprised to move for a moment.

"Connor!" Angel yelled as he saw his son disappear around the bend. Angel ran after him, quickly followed by Gunn.

Connor had a large demon gutted and decapitated before Angel arrived. Connor turned to his father with a pleased smile, and said, "I don't know what this one is, but it's sure gooey inside."

Gunn crossed his arms, and waited for the smackdown. Surly Angel wouldn't let this go without a swat or two at the very least.

Angel simply said in a tired voice, "You can't keep running off during a fight Connor. And you shouldn't try killing something, when you don't even know what it is. It could have been friendly like Lorne."

Frowning at his father's words, Connor said, "It didn't look very friendly. It tried to claw me."

"That's not the point." Angel said. "The point is you ran off after I told you we were all staying together."

Connor looked at Gunn to gage his reaction to what he'd done. His expression was much less promising than his father's. Connor said, "Sorry, Dad. I thought that only applied to the vampires, and since they were all dead, I figured it would be okay to check out the other noise. But you're right, I shouldn't have killed it without knowing what it was."

Relieved, Angel smiled and patted Connor on the shoulder. "Okay, apology accepted. Nice job killing the Maipok demon," Angel gestured to the messy blob on the sewer floor, "they're never nice."

Irritated with Angel, Gunn said, "Let's go home. Connor still has tutoring to do."

# # #

In the middle of Gunn's tutoring session, Angel burst into the room with a look of shock on his face.

"What?" Gunn and Connor asked in unison.

"I was just looking at my calendar," Angel said.

"And?" Gunn asked.

"Tomorrow is November nineteenth."

Gunn and Connor gave Angel a blank stare.

"Connor was born a year ago tomorrow," Angel said.

Gunn smiled and gave Connor a friendly punch in the shoulder. "Happy Birthday. You're one."

Not sure how he felt about it, Connor said, "November nineteenth… I never knew that was the day of my birth. Holtz never told me. He'd put a mark inside the cover of his Bible every year when we saw the first baby Kline. That's how I know we were there for eighteen years."

"We gonna have a party?" Gunn asked. "Or should we wait for August when his new birth certificate says he's eighteen?"

"I'm gonna be nineteen tomorrow," Connor muttered to himself, still trying to get used to the idea of having a specific date to call his.

"We'll have a party tomorrow," Angel said with a small smile. Turning to his son, he said, "Connor, I know Julie hasn't come back to the hotel since I got my soul back, and I now Angelus terrified her, but I'd like to get a second chance to get to know her better. If you tell her it's your birthday, and invite her to dinner here at the hotel with us, she might be willing."

Connor smiled. "I'd like it if you two could get along, Dad." Having never celebrated a birthday, he didn't really care about having a party, but he'd use any excuse he could to get Julie and Angel to tolerate each other. "I'll call her right now." He stood and headed for the door.

"Ten minutes," Gunn said. "Then you come back and finish your tutoring session."

"Okay," Connor said over his shoulder as he went to his room to call.

Angel muttered, "I need to go shopping."

"Is Fred home yet?" Gunn asked, trying not to let the bitterness show in his voice. She'd been spending more and more time over at Wesley's apartment, and it made Gunn physically ill every time he thought about that traitorous bastard touching his girl.

"Got home a few minutes ago," Angel said, and headed towards the kitchen where Lorne and Fred were softly talking. "I'll need to ask her to shop for me during the day tomorrow. And I'll need to talk to Lorne about cake. There should be cake."

# # #

"Your birthday?" Julie asked.

"Yes," Connor said, "So will you come to dinner?"

"I don't know," she said, "I'm not comfortable around your father. I know he's not Angelus anymore, but I didn't like him much even when he did have a soul. He hits you, Connor. I'm not okay with that."

"He hasn't since getting his soul back," Connor said, pleased to be able to take her biggest objection about Angel off the table for now. "And I've done things that would have gotten me spanked before he turned."

There was a pause, and he said, "Julie?" wondering if they'd been disconnected.

"I'm still here. I'm just… surprised. He hasn't hit you since?"

"Not once," Connor said with a smile. He'd given up on trying to convince her that hitting and spanking were different in his mind, and in the minds of his family. He knew she would never be able to see it as anything other than abuse, no matter how he personally felt about it.

"Well…" she hedged.

"I really want you two to get along, Julie." Connor said with some desperation in his voice. "You, me, and Angel… we're connected now. We're family. He's our baby's grandfather. You should come and see him. He's different now."

"Okay." She reluctantly agreed. "I'll come."

"Great!"

# # #

Connor could feel the tension in the room, when he walked through the lobby doors holding hands with Julie. He wondered if that was normal for a birthday party, or just for his family. Julie kept darting disapproving glares at Angel, who purposely kept his eyes off of her. Gunn was blatantly glaring daggers at Wesley, who had his arm around Fred's shoulders. Wesley pretended not to notice, but Connor could see the way the corners of Wesley's mouth turned up, and knew the man was happy with Gunn's anger. Fred was obviously unhappy with the tension between the two men, and awkwardly tried to pretend she didn't notice. Lorne seemed to be the only one in the room who wasn't on edge, and dinner hadn't even started yet.

With a forced smile, Angel said, "Now that the birthday boy is here, let's open presents."

"Presents?" Connor asked as he led Julie down the stairs towards the round couch. He saw a pile of brightly wrapped gifts on the counter. "What for?"

For a short moment, everyone stared at Connor, realizing he had no idea what a birthday party was supposed to entail.

"They're for you cupcake." Lorne said quietly.

Connor turned to Angel, hoping for a better explanation.

Angel's hands balled into fists when he thought about all the birthday's he'd missed. This was supposed to be Connor's first birthday, not his nineteenth. He hated Holtz, not only for taking his son away from him, but also for raising him the way he had. Trying not to let the anger and grief show in his voice, Angel said, "I guess I should have explained it to you, since it's your first birthday here. I just assumed Holtz would have… never mind. On your birthday, your friends and family get together and celebrate the fact that you were born. It's customary to give you gifts."

Not quite believing that, Connor turned to Gunn for conformation. Gunn nodded. "It's also traditional to have cake and ice cream, though I'm not sure why."

"That's a European custom that began back in the…" Wesley started in on lecture mode.

"And…" Gunn cut Wesley off, "…if you were actually one year old, we'd probably have to play some asinine game like 'pin the tail on the donkey' or get a piñata for you to bust open."

Connor thought the whole thing sounded pointless and frivolous. He turned to Julie, and said with a smile, "That can't be right. Your family didn't actually have parties to celebrate the date of your birth, did they?"

Her face showed both sympathy and pity at that question. She said quietly, "My parents went a little overboard on birthdays, especially when I was younger. One year they rented out the local stables, so all of my friends could go horseback riding." She dug through her purse, and pulled out a small box wrapped in blue paper. She handed it to Connor and said, "I hope you like it. It's the best I could do on short notice."

Feeling a little overwhelmed by everything, Connor kept his eyes on the gift, but didn't touch it. "You got me a gift too?"

Julie took his hand, and put it on the gift, so he would take it. She leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Happy Birthday."

Connor felt a lump in his throat, and had to clear it before he could mutter, "Thank you."

She gestured to the box and said, "Open it."

He turned the box over a couple of times in his hands, and carefully started to take the tape off the bottom.

Angel said, "It's okay to rip the paper. It's just for decoration. We'll put it all in recycling once you open everything."

Connor glanced at Julie to make sure she didn't mind, before ripping the paper off. He lifted the lid, and pulled out a leather wristband with a sliver pendant attached to the front. He took a close look at the intricate design on the pendant, and thought he could discern two dogs standing face to face.

"It's a Celtic Hound pendant." Julie said. "The guy at the store told me the Celtic Hound represented hunting, healing, and loyalty." She smiled softly. "And those are all things that make me think of you."

"It's beautiful," he whispered.

"Want me to help you try it on?" She asked, holding her hand out.

He handed it over, and held out his right wrist. She buckled the wristband into place. Once it was on, she said, "I think it suits you."

He grabbed her hand and held it in both of his. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Thank you for the gift, and thank you for seeing the good in me."

She turned her face and whispered back, "Always."

Conflicted, Angel cleared his throat and said, "Okay Connor, why don't you come open your other gifts." On the one hand, Angel loved seeing how happy Julie's gift had made Connor, but on the other hand, he didn't like the way Julie's gift would create an even stronger bond between the two of them.

Smiling, Connor kept Julie's hand in his, and walked over to the counter before letting her go. He picked up the biggest one, and started ripping off the paper.

# # #

Later that night, once everyone was full of chocolate cake, Connor talked Gunn into setting up some targets in the basement so he could try out the new crossbow Gunn had given him. While they were busy, Angel forced himself to smile, and went to talk to Julie.

Lorne and Julie were in the kitchen, animatedly discussing Pylea when Angel came in. Lorne finished his sentence, and looked up to Angel with a smile. "Have they killed any mannequins yet?"

"Not yet, they're still setting up," Angel said.

After seeing Angel's face, Lorne stood and said, "I'm going to get started on the dishes."

Before Julie could make some excuse to leave, Angel sat down next to her and said, "I'm glad you were able to come tonight." He could see her spine stiffen as he spoke.

"Connor wanted me to be here," she said.

"I know. That's why I'm glad you came. You've made it clear that you don't like me, but you came anyway for his sake, so thank you."

She pursed her lips, looked away, and reluctantly said, "It was a nice party. It made him happy, so thank you."

.

"The gift you gave him was very fitting." Angel said. "Did you know that I was born in Ireland?"

"No," she said with surprise.

Angel nodded. "I was."

After a small awkward pause, Julie said, "The laptop you gave him was nice."

"More practical than anything else. He needed one."

"Maybe," Julie's posture relaxed slightly. "But did you see his face when he opened it?" The corner of her lips curled.

"Yeah." Angel said softly, smiling as well.

"At least he knew what your gift was," Lorne said from across the room. "He'd never even heard of an iPod."

"But he loved it once you told him how it worked." Julie said.

Connor burst into the room with a wide grin. "The crossbow is awesome. You guys should come down and see how accurate it is."

Half an hour later the crossbow demonstration was done. Connor was discussing demons with Wesley, when Fred came up to them. She said to Connor, "It's getting late. I'm going to head upstairs to bed."

Connor wasn't quite sure why she was telling him, but said, "Okay."

"Remember to try on all your new clothes before you take the tags off in case we need to take something back."

"I will. Thank you for buying them for me."

She leaned in and gave him a hug. "You're welcome. Happy Birthday, sweetie."

"You said that already," he said, and hugged back.

Wesley cleared his throat next to them and said, "I suppose I should be getting home as well." He held out his hand towards Connor as if to shake, and said, "Many happy returns, Connor."

Raising one eyebrow in question, Connor shook the offered hand and said, "Um… okay. Thanks for the book."

"Let me know if you have any questions. I helped compile the section on demons from other dimensions."

"I'll be sure to let you know if I have any questions."

Wesley held his hand out to Fred and said, "Walk me to my car?"

As soon as the two of them were gone, Julie broke off her conversation with Lorne and wandered over to Connor. She said quietly, "I'm ready to go too. I have an early class tomorrow."

"Okay." Connor looked around for Angel, but he wasn't in the lobby. He could hear papers rustling in the office, and said to Julie, "Let me tell Angel that I'm taking you home."

She nodded and went to get her purse from behind the counter.

Connor went into the office, and Angel gave him a smile from behind the desk.

"Could I have the keys? I'm gonna take Julie home."

"Before you go, I wanted to give you one more gift." Angel picked up a picture frame, walked around his desk, and handed it to Connor.

"What's this?" Connor asked. He'd seen enough of his father's drawings to know that Angel had drawn this picture. A beautiful woman was staring back at him with what could only be described as a mischievous smile on her face.

"Your mother," Angel said softly.

Connor's eyes went wide with surprise. "My mother?"

"Darla. I figured every kid should have a picture of his mother, no matter how that kid might feel towards her."

"She was beautiful," Connor whispered in awe.

"She was." Angel agreed. He squeezed Connor's shoulder and said, "Happy Birthday son. I'm sorry I wasn't around for all the others."

Connor pulled an unsuspecting Angel into a hug and said, "Thanks for making this one so good."

Angel realized this was the first time Connor had initiated a hug since Angelus had been on the loose. He wrapped his arms around his son, and squeezed tight as if he could hold onto this moment forever. "I love you."

"Too tight!" Connor squeaked out.

Angel let the boy go with a small chuckle. "Sorry about that."

Looking at the drawing again, Connor said softly. "This means a lot to me. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Angel looked at his watch and said, "Better get Julie home, it's almost midnight." He dug out his car keys and passed them over.

"Right." Connor took them, and headed for the door. "See you when I get back."

"Home by one o'clock, okay?" Angel called after him.

"Sure thing," Connor called back. He set the picture on the counter with his other gifts to take upstairs later, and held his hand out to Julie.

Angel watched the two younger people leave, before sitting at his desk to finish up some paperwork. Or at least that was the story he planned to give anyone who asked, because he wouldn't want to be accused of being overprotective if he was caught waiting up for his son to come home.

# # #

An hour later, Connor and Julie lay together naked and snuggling in her apartment. As soon as he'd brought her home, Julie had pressed herself against him, and started kissing.

"I need to get going soon," Connor said, looking at the clock

"I want you to stay," she said, and tightened her arms around him.

"I told Angel I'd be home by one."

"You're nineteen now Connor. You can just call him and tell him you're spending the night here."

"I'm not nineteen on paper, and… well, things have been good between me and my dad lately. I don't want to mess that up."

Julie took Connor's wrist in her hands and ran her fingers over the wristband she'd given him. "You know the other reason the dog reminds me of you?"

He smiled as he looked at the gift on his wrist. "No."

"Dogs are loyal to their owners, even when their owners are abusive."

His body tensed beside her. She looked him in the eye and said, "As long as you show a dog a little bit of love and feed him, he'll cower when you beat him, and forgive you the second you show him affection again."

Connor sat up abruptly, and glared down at her. "That's not fair, and it's not true. I don't cower. Angel doesn't make me cower. Fath… Holtz could if he were here, but not Angel."

He started to stand, but stopped when she grabbed his shoulder and held tight. "I'm sorry. Connor, I'm sorry. Please don't be angry."

He turned to her and said, "You shouldn't talk about things you don't understand, Julie. Have you ever been spanked?"

She pursed her lips in disgust. "No."

"Have you ever been whipped until you bled?"

Her eyes opened wide with surprise for an instant, and then her mouth turned down, and her eyebrows furrowed in pity. "No."

"I have. You think both of those things are abusive. I don't. Maybe instead of bringing it up again and again, and making me feel bad for wanting to stay with my dad, you should be helping me to avoid pissing him off."

Julie's eyes filled, and a couple of tears slid down her face. "I'm sorry."

Shocked to see the tears, Connor's anger instantly went away. "Don't cry," he whispered. He cupped the side of her face with his hand, and rubbed a tear away with his thumb. He lay back down beside her, and pulled her into his arms. She clutched at him, and her quiet tears turned into noisy sobs.

"Please don't cry," he said, rubbing his hand in circles on her back. Guilt bubbled up inside his chest as he listened to her cry. He'd had no idea that his words could affect her so strongly. "I'm sorry. I'll stay with you. Okay? I'll call Angel, and I'll stay."

She shook her head, and tried to talk through her tears. "No y… you're right. I sh… shouldn't have s… said that. I just… keep thinking about o… our baby, a… and the future, and I… wanted you to stay."

"I'm gonna stay." He kissed the top of her head, and held her close.

She relaxed into the embrace, and after a few moments, she had her crying under control. "I really am sorry, Connor. I didn't mean to make you angry."

"It's okay. I didn't mean to make you cry."

Julie wiped at her face with her hands, and muttered, "I need a tissue."

Connor climbed out of bed, and got her some tissues from the bathroom. While she was blowing her nose, he slipped his jeans on, and pulled a shirt over his head.

"I'm going to step outside for a second and call Angel. I'll be right back."

"You don't have to," she said. "I'm fine. It was silly of me to be upset. If he doesn't agree to let you stay, then you should go home."

"I'm staying," he said with finality, and walked outside to call Angel.

Once the door was closed behind Connor, a satisfied smile formed on Julie's face. She lay back down and put a hand on her belly. She whispered, "Okay little one, you can quit that worrying. Your daddy's going to stay with us tonight."

# # #

Connor nervously paced around the apartment complex while dialing his father's number.

"Angel Investigations," Angel answered.

"Hey Dad."

"Connor?" Angel looked at the clock. It was ten minutes to one o'clock. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm…" Connor tried to come up with a good way to put it. He blurted out, "I'm going to be late."

Angel smiled, thinking this was good progress. "Okay. Thank you for calling me this time. When will you be home?"

"Um…" Connor bit at a nail. "I'm not sure."

"You're not sure?" Angel lost his smile. "What's going on, Connor?"

"Julie and I… well we kind of… had an argument, and I said some things, and then…" Connor ran a hand over his face in tired frustration, "… then she cried."

"Oh." Angel said feeling sympathetic to the upset he could hear in Connor's voice. "What did you two argue about?"

"It's not important," Connor really didn't need to hear his dad's opinions of their argument. "The important thing is that I made her cry, and now I can't just leave."

"Okay, I can understand that," Angel said. "How about another hour? That should give you enough time to get her calmed down."

Hating how calm and reasonable his dad sounded, Connor forced himself to respond in kind. "Actually Dad, I was planning to spend the night here tonight. I'll be home first thing in the morning."

There was silence on the line for a few moments, before Angel spoke. "I'm sorry, Connor, but I'm not okay with that."

That was the exact reaction Connor had been expecting from his dad, and he couldn't remain calm. He hissed into the cell phone, "You're not my _owner_!"

"What? What are you talking about?" Angel couldn't figure out what had happened. An hour ago his kid was giving him a hug, and now this? But then it hit him. Julie had put those thoughts and words into his son's head. That's what they'd argued about.

"I'm talking about you giving me orders, and expecting me to obey just because you said to. I'm an adult! I can make my own decisions!"

With difficulty, Angel kept his own temper in check. "I know you're an adult Connor. I don't expect you to obey me because you're a child. I expect you to obey me because you're inexperienced in this dimension. If we were in Quor-toth I'd follow your lead for a year before trying to make my own decisions."

That stopped Connor's anger short. "You… you would?"

"Of course." Angel's voice held nothing but sincerity. "You'd be the expert in that dimension, so if you said something wasn't a good idea, then I'd listen to you. And by the way, if you were a child, I sure as hell wouldn't let you work cases with us."

Connor sat down on the curb of the parking lot in back of the apartment complex. He put his forehead on his knees and muttered, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, son," Angel said, pleased with the change in attitude. "So do we have an agreement? You'll be home by two o'clock?"

"No," Connor said, sounding defeated.

"Connor." Angel's voice held a clear warning that his patience was wearing thin.

"I made her cry, Dad. I have to stay."

Angel pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sometimes women cry. It's not the end of the world, and it's not a good reason for you to spend the night."

"I already told her I was staying. I can't go back on that now." Connor's tone was pleading now.

"Do you know how many people Darla tricked with her tears? How many she killed because they felt sorry for her?"

"That's not the same!" Connor stood back up to pace. "How dare you compare Julie to a soulless monster!"

"I didn't mean…"

"No!" Connor cut him off. "Don't lie, Dad. That's exactly what you meant. I'm staying! I'll be home first thing tomorrow morning." Connor ended the call before his dad could respond, and then turned the cell phone off completely.

He stood staring at the phone for a few seconds, and then muttered, "Crap." He shoved the phone into his pocket, and slowly walked back to the front of the apartment complex with his shoulders slumped. He seriously doubted his dad would let this go without punishment. But he didn't know if he could take a spanking from him without a fight after everything that Angelus had said.

Angelus' words circled his head as if they were on a loop. '_You think Angel doesn't enjoy it? You think he doesn't get off on spanking you? He loves hurting you, just like Holtz did. But all three of us are continually irritated by how quickly you break down and cry. What kind of a man cries because of a little spanking? But then you cry all the time. It's really sickening. Makes my stomach turn when I think about how often you have tears on your face._'

Connor stopped in front of Julie's apartment door, and pressed the heels of his palms into his temples, trying to make it stop. He whispered, "It was a lie," and tried to make himself believe it.

Taking a deep breath, he walked into Julie's apartment. He smiled softly at her and said, "Angel's fine with it."

She held out a hand to him. "Come back to bed."

He climbed in, and held her close as she drifted off to sleep. Connor stayed alert, half expecting someone from his family to come and drag him home.

# # #

"Connor!" Angel yelled, even though he could hear the dial tone, and knew they were disconnected. He slammed the phone down. "Damn it!"

He rubbed a hand down his face, slumped down into his chair, and muttered, "Crap."

Why couldn't his son just do what he was told? Why did he have to break one of the rules? Why hadn't he just let the kid spend the night this once? Now he'd have to punish the kid, but he didn't think he could actually spank him after the things Angelus had said. Angelus' words came back to him, making his stomach roll with disgust.

Angel slammed his fist down onto his own leg, before standing up to pace. He went out to the lobby, and saw Lorne sipping a drink by the counter.

"Oh…" Angel said, startled to see someone else still awake.

"Sounds like you could use a friendly ear right about now." Lorne said. "Want me to pour you a drink?"

With a loud sigh, Angel nodded, and walked towards the counter. Lorne pulled out a shot glass and some Irish whisky. He poured the vampire a shot, and passed it over.

Angel downed the shot, and handed the glass back, before resting his elbows on the counter. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing, Lorne."

"From what I've heard, and trust me I've heard a lot, that's how most parents feel. It's the parents that feel confident that really mess their little nippers up."

Angel ran a hand through his hair, and poured himself another shot. "Should I go over there and drag him home?"

"I can't answer that one for you, Angelcakes. There isn't a right answer. Let him stay, and he'll think he can do it again. Go over there to drag him home, and you have a serious fight on your hands, probably with Julie in the middle of it, twisting everything to her advantage."

Angel locked eyes with Lorne. "Do you think she's trying to manipulate Connor?"

Lorne chuckled, and poured Angel a third shot. "She's a teenage girl in love, Honey. Of course she's trying to manipulate Connor."

Angel snorted in laughter, and drank the shot. He set the glass down decisively and said, "It probably makes me a coward, but I'm leaving him there tonight. I need some sleep."

Lorne patted his shoulder, and said, "I'm headed to bed too."

Angel walked towards his room and thought, '_And I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with him once he comes home._'

All too soon, Angel was in bed staring at the ceiling, and he still didn't have any good answers. His mind escaped to the alternate reality he'd been force fed by Wo Pang to turn into Angelus in the first place. He didn't even want to admit how often he escaped into that fantasy. But while he was remembering how it felt to see Cordelia again, he remembered something specific she'd said. With that thought in mind, relief washed over him, and he was able to close his eyes and sleep peacefully.

# # #

Connor didn't get much sleep. He dozed on and off, and had anxiety dreams of being late to meet Holtz at their cave. At six in the morning, he gave up all pretence of sleep, and snuck out of bed without disturbing Julie.

He wandered into the kitchen, and got himself a glass of orange juice. He sat down at the kitchen table and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. With a small wince, he turned it on. His eyebrows furrowed with confusion when his phone showed zero missed calls. He set the phone to vibrate, and stuck it back in his pocket.

Why hadn't Angel called him? Was he that pissed about it? Or worse, did Angel just not care? The acidic orange juice grumbled in his stomach, and he pushed the glass away. He folded his arms on the table, and put his head down in the crook of an elbow.

He wouldn't go home before Julie got up, but he was torn about going home at all. He knew he had to, and in some ways he was itching to set things right with his dad, but when he pictured Angel waiting for him on the other side of the hotel doors, his stomach churned.

"Connor?" Julie asked from the bedroom.

"In here," Connor said softly, getting up to go to her.

"What are you doing?" she asked from the doorway of her bedroom.

"Couldn't sleep anymore. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't. I usually wake up around this time." She walked up to him, and leaned into his body, with her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for staying. I felt so much safer knowing you were here with me."

He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm glad."

"You want some breakfast?" she asked, pulling away from him to look through the cupboards.

"No," he said quickly, thinking of his stomach. "I… I need to go home. I mean… if you're okay and everything."

She went back and pulled him into a kiss. When they broke apart she said, "I'm fine. Go ahead. I'll see you later."

# # #

Connor stood in front of the hotel, and tried to work up the courage to walk in. It was still early, even though he'd taken the side streets all the way home. He jiggled Angel's car keys in his pocket, and forced himself to walk though the lobby doors. Expecting the lobby to be empty, Connor froze in place when he saw Gunn walking down the stairs yawning.

"Connor?" Gunn asked when he saw him.

"Hi Gunn."

Gunn finished walking down the stairs, and asked, "What are you doing up at this hour?"

"You don't know?" Connor asked.

"Know what?"

Connor hesitated until he saw the look on Gunn's face that said he was short on patients this early in the morning. "I just got home," Connor said.

"What!"

"Is my dad even here?" Connor looked around the room, not sure if he was pleased or disappointed that Angel wasn't waiting for him.

"As far as I know he is. Why wouldn't he be?" Gunn asked.

"Um… no reason."

"No reason my ass." Gunn glared at the boy and crossed his arms. "You'd better start explaining Sparky, and it better be good."

Connor huffed and said, "Julie and I had an argument, and she was really upset. So I tried to do the right thing. I called Dad to tell him I was going to be late. I explained the situation, and asked him if I could stay the night, but he said no."

"So you decided to stay anyway?" Gunn asked with an edge to his voice.

Connor crossed his arms, and glared. "It's none of your business."

Gunn shook his head, and took the three steps that separated them. Connor took a step back, and held his hands up in a placating gesture. "Yes, okay? Yes," he answered quickly.

Grabbing the boy's arm, Gunn turned him to the side, and gave him two swats as hard as he could. Connor clenched his jaw to keep from making noise, but a small grunt came out of his throat with the second swat. Gunn let him go and said, "Just because your dad is back doesn't mean I'm putting up with you talking to me like that."

"Sorry," Connor muttered as a blush settled on his face.

The door to the basement opened, and Angel stepped into the room dressed in only his boxers. His hair was mussed, and there was a scowl on his face. "What's going on up here?" he asked.

Gunn looked expectantly at Connor, but the kid was busy staring at his own shoes. The older man rolled his eyes and said, "I was surprised to see Connor coming home at this hour, and when I asked him about it, he got lippy, so I swatted him for it."

Angel growled deep in his throat.

Gunn tilted his chin, and said, "You know what? You don't get to be pissed. You asked me to take on more of a parental role for Connor while you were out of commission. And before that I took care of him all summer long while you were missing. I've always tried to do right by him, even when he wasn't my favorite person. Because of that alone I deserve his respect, so when he's disrespectful, I'm gonna do something about it. That's not changing."

Sighing tiredly, Angel shook his head. "You're right. I'm sorry." Addressing Connor, he said quietly, "I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon."

The boy shrugged. "Julie gets up early for class."

"I'm glad you're home," Angel said. "Why don't the two of you get some coffee while I get dressed, and then we can talk in the kitchen." He turned and went back down to his room without waiting for a reply.

Gunn headed for the kitchen and Connor followed. Before the coffee started dripping, Angel came into the kitchen fully dressed. Connor was sitting at the kitchen table nervously bouncing his knee, while Gunn leaned against the counter next to the coffee maker. Angel sat down across from Connor and waited for the boy to make eye contact.

"What are the rules you have to follow?" he asked calmly.

"Really Dad?" Connor groaned. "We all know what they are."

"Humor me."

"So ridiculous," Connor muttered under his breath, and then spit out, "No lying, no running away, no going to fight something alone, no physical fighting with any of you, and doing what I'm told. And before you ask, it's the last one that I broke."

"That's right," Angel said, keeping calm with some effort. "Now the question is, do you think what you did was wrong."

"What?" Connor asked with a frown.

"Do you think it was the morally wrong choice for you to disobey me?"

Nervously crossing his arms to keep his hands still, Connor said, "I don't know."

"Well then take a minute to think about it. Did you have any reservations about staying the night after you hung up on me? Did you fall asleep thinking you'd made the right choice? Or did you have some regrets?"

Shifting in his chair, Connor's knee bounced faster than humanly possible. "I… I had some regrets, and I couldn't sleep. But Julie needed me. It would have been wrong to leave her."

"Really?" Angel asked. He leaned forward, rested his elbows on the table, and laced his fingers together. "Was she in physical danger? Was she so emotionally distraught that you were worried about leaving her alone?"

"Well… no, but…"

"But nothing." Angel cut him off. "Think about what might have happened if your roles were reversed, son. If her father called and asked her to come home, would you ask her to stay with you instead? In fact if you knew she was trying to rebuild a relationship with her father, would you try to make that more difficult?"

Connor's knee stopped bouncing, and he took a few seconds to really think about it. "No," he said quietly, glaring at the table in front of him.

Angel nodded, knowing that was a difficult admission for his son to make. He said, "You've been here with us for a while, and you're much different now than you were when you first came to this dimension. You've matured, so I think it's time to try a different punishment."

Connor's head snapped up, and he made eye contact with his dad.

"You're grounded for a week."

"What?" Connor asked, truly confused by this sudden change.

"What?" Gunn echoed from across the room. He'd been silently observing their conversation up to now.

Angel said, "For one week, you can't go on any cases, and you can't see Julie."

Connor sat up straight, and leaned forward. "You can't do that!" he said, slightly panicked.

"I can." Angel said softly. "Look Connor, I know Julie thinks I'm abusive, and after the things Angelus said…" He had to break eye contact. He cleared his throat, and forced himself to make eye contact again. "This is what modern parents do when their teenagers do the wrong thing. So you're grounded for a week."

"Angel man, can I talk to you in private for a minute?" Gunn asked.

Connor stood abruptly, accidentally tipping his chair over. "You can't keep me from seeing Julie!" He gestured wildly with his arm, making a cutting motion sideways through the air.

Angel lost control of his temper. He stood and yelled, "I can and I will! I'll lock you in that cage downstairs if I have to! See how you like being trapped!"

The teen swallowed hard. Thinking about being locked up had his heart pounding, and thinking about what he'd done to his dad over the summer made his stomach twist. He whispered, "You… you wouldn't."

Regretting losing his cool, Angel closed his eyes, and sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" he trailed off. He wasn't sure what he'd meant.

Gunn walked over to the table, and gently squeezed Connor's shoulder. Keeping a hand on Connor, but looking at Angel, Gunn said, "You both need to calm down before you say anything else you're going to regret."

"You're right," Angel said tiredly. "Connor stay here. Eat some breakfast or something. Gunn, let's talk in my office." He turned and walked out without waiting to see if he was being obeyed.

Gunn let Connor go and said, "Pick up that chair while I put some bread in the toaster for you."

Connor picked up the chair he'd knocked down, and sat in it. He put his elbows on the table, and rested his head on his hands. By the time Gunn put a cup of coffee and some toast in front of him, Connor's knee was bouncing again.

"Eat up, and stay put," Gunn said. He got a cup of coffee for Angel and one for himself before going out to talk to him.

# # #

Gunn found his boss sitting on the edge of his desk. His entire body was tense, and his arms were crossed defensively. Gunn shut the door behind him with a foot, and held one of the cups towards Angel.

Angel took the coffee and said, "I already know what you're gonna say."

"Yeah? What am I gonna say?" Gunn took a sip of his coffee, and sat down on the couch.

"That I should spank him." 

"You should. You know it, I know it, and Connor knows it. So why aren't you?"

"I just… can't."

Gunn shook his head. "Can't? Try won't. This kind of inconsistency isn't good for him, Angel. It's going to do him more damage than good at this point. He's only been here for six months, and he's only been following the rules for three."

"I know how long he's been here" Angel hissed. "And I'm not being inconsistent. He's still supposed to follow the same rules, it's just a different punishment when he breaks them."

"This is going to blow up in your face." Gunn said with quiet sincerity. "I hope that I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. You think it's going to be traumatic for both of you if you spank him, but I think it's going to be even more traumatic in the long run if you don't. That kid is going to push, and push, and push at you until he finds your breaking point."

Gritting his teeth, Angel said, "The bottom line is that I've made my decision. You're not the one who has to follow through with punishment, and you're not his father."

Gunn felt as if someone had just punched him. He set his coffee mug on the floor, stood up slowly, and said, "You're right. I'm just the muscle around here. I'm not his father." He walked to the door.

Angel winced at hearing Angelus' taunt repeated. "Gunn…" he said.

Keeping his face to the door, and his hand on the doorknob, Gunn said, "But you're not his father either. Holtz was. You're just the sperm donor." He opened the door and walked out.

Angel snarled and followed him out to the lobby. "I've done everything in my power to be a father to him since I got him back!"

Gunn turned to face him, and yelled, "And the rest of us have done everything in our power to help you! You can't pretend that my opinion doesn't count for anything now that you don't like it!"

"I'm not!" Angel yelled, "But one of us has to have a final say, and that's me!"

"Dad?" Both men turned to see Connor standing by the kitchen door staring at them with wide worried eyes. He'd heard enough to know they were fighting about him, and that made him feel ill.

"Get your ass back in that kitchen!" Angel yelled while pointing at the kitchen door.

Connor reacted to that tone of voice automatically, and found himself alone in the kitchen. Angel hadn't used _that_ tone since before Angelus got loose. Connor had almost forgotten how that tone made him feel. It was like a handful of beetles crawling around in his stomach.

Gunn and Angel faced off for a few seconds. Both highly aware that the boy was listening, and that they were close to doing real damage to their friendship. Gunn was the first to speak. "I'm sorry. I think you're making the wrong decision, but that doesn't mean I won't back you up."

Feeling old and tired, Angel said, "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have said… what I said. And even though I'm not taking your advice this time, that doesn't mean I don't value your opinion, because I do."

Gunn wasn't quite ready to believe that, but nodded. "I'm gonna take a shower. Give you two a chance to talk."

"You don't have to…" Angel started to say, but Gunn had already turned and headed up the stairs. "…go." He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, and tried to calm down again before going to confront his son.

He found Connor sitting at the kitchen table again. Angel pulled a chair up to sit next to the boy instead of across from him. Connor gave him a wary glance. Angel draped an arm around Connor's shoulders and pulled him close for a side hug.

"I'm trying to do the right thing by grounding you."

"Gunn doesn't think it's the right thing?" Connor asked.

"No."

"You guys shouldn't fight about me," he said quietly.

Angel squeezed his shoulder. "Friends and families argue sometimes. Even if it was about you, it's not your fault, and we're done now."

After a short pause, Connor said, "Julie's not gonna like it if she can't see me."

"Probably not," Angel said. "But don't you think she'll be glad I'm not spanking you?"

Connor crossed his arms, and slouched down to get away from his Dad's arm. "You should have just let me stay."

"No, Connor, I shouldn't have." Angel took his arm off Connor, and shifted so he was facing his son. "First, letting you stay would have set a bad precedent. If I let you stay once, you'll expect me to say yes again the next time. Second, you're not emotionally ready for a relationship that's so serious. You're still figuring out who _you_ are. You're finding your place in your new family, and your place in this dimension. And maybe it's petty, but I promised you that you'd live with me for a year, and to me that means you're here in the hotel to sleep every night."

Connor didn't respond, but thought about it in the silence that followed.

After a few seconds Angel said, "So you're grounded for a week. That means you don't leave the hotel. You don't go on cases with us. You don't go see Julie or talk to her on the phone. And while you're grounded, you're going to do everyone's chores, especially making the meals, doing the dishes, and doing the laundry. And you can't use any of the new things you got for your birthday during the week either."

"That sucks." Connor said with a scowl.

"That's the point," Angel said gently.

Connor sighed. "Fine."

"Good boy." Angel leaned over and kissed the top of his son's head. "Later this afternoon once Julie gets out of class, you can call her from my office while I'm in the room. You'll tell her that you're grounded, and that you can't see her or call her for a week, just so we're all on the same page."

"Oh…" Connor shifted in his chair uneasily. "I um… kind of told Julie that you were fine with me spending the night."

"What! Why?"

"She'd just calmed down! I didn't want to upset her again."

Angel shook his head in disappointment. "Okay, now you're grounded for a week and a half. She was obviously calm enough for you to leave, and I bet if you'd told her the truth, she would have encouraged you to come home. How do you think she's gonna feel when she finds out you lied to her?"

Connor shook his head. "Couldn't we just tell her…"

"Connor." Angel cut him off with reproof. "I won't lie to her for you. If she asks me about it, I'll tell her what really happened, even if you've told her another lie to cover your first one."

"You'd just love it if she were pissed at me, wouldn't you?" Connor sneered.

"No." Angel patted Connor's knee. "Believe it or not, I want you to be happy, but you can't build a relationship on lies. Tell her the truth. Then if she's pissed, apologize and work it out."

His son didn't say anything, but the frown on his face said he didn't think this was sound advice.

"Come on. Let's do some tutoring since we're both up."

Groaning, Connor followed his father to his office.

# # #

By the time three o'clock rolled around, Connor had decided that being grounded was worse than getting spanked. All of his birthday gifts were sitting on the couch in his dad's office taunting him every time he passed by the room. He found some consolation in still having on the wristband Julie gave to him, and hoped Angel wouldn't ask him to take that off and add it to the pile, too.

Then to make things worse, Angel had talked to each member of the team separately as they'd arrived for work, which forced Connor to hear about his own misdeeds and punishment three extra times. At least when he got spanked it was over and done with quickly, and no one talked about it over and over again. He'd been grounded for all of eight hours, and he was already tired of it.

Connor had just finished tutoring with Wesley, when Angel came out of his office and said, "It's three. Will Julie be home now?"

"Yeah," Connor said dejectedly.

"Come on then."

Trudging over to his dad's office, Connor tried to convince himself that Julie wouldn't be upset, but he didn't actually believe it. Angel shut the door to the office, handed Connor the phone, and sat down at his desk to listen.

Julie answered her cell phone with, "Hi Connor."

"Hey."

"What's wrong?" She asked after hearing the hesitancy in his voice.

"You know last night when I told you Angel was fine with me spending the night?"

"Yeah…" Julie said.

"Well that wasn't exactly true." The line was silent for a few seconds. Connor said, "Julie?"

"I'm here." Julie's voice held barely contained fury. "Did that asshole hit you again?"

"What? No." Connor had been expecting anger, but he hadn't expected it to be aimed at his dad.

"No?" Julie asked. "Are you sure about that, or is that another lie to make me feel better."

Blushing with shame, Connor said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. I just… I told you I was going to stay, and I thought if I told you Angel wanted me to go home, that you'd start crying again."

She sighed. "Well, I _am_ glad you stayed, and I guess I can understand why you wouldn't tell me about it that night. Just trust me enough to tell me the truth next time. Okay?"

"Okay."

"So… Angel really didn't spank you?"

"No, but he was upset. That's why I'm calling. Dad says I'm grounded for a week and a half."

"Really?" Julie asked. "That's great, Connor! I guess you were right, Angel really did change. I'm happy for you."

Scowling, Connor said, "I'm not. Aren't you even a little upset that we don't get to see each other for so long?"

"What?"

"My dad says that's part of being grounded. No going on cases, no using my birthday gifts, and no seeing you."

"But… but that's not fair," Julie said. "He can't keep us apart. What about Thanksgiving?"

"Thanksgiving?" Connor asked. "I don't know what that means."

"Oh…" Julie said with pity in her voice

Angel quickly scanned the calendar on his desk. Thanksgiving was eight days away, but Connor would be grounded for the next ten. Angel spoke up for the first time during the conversation. "It's a holiday, Connor. Tell her I'll make an exception for Thanksgiving. She can come have dinner with us if she wants to."

"Dad says he'll make an exception. You can come have dinner here on Thanksgiving if you want."

After a short pause, Julie said, "I'll think about it, okay? I need to talk to my dad and see what his plans are. I'll let you know."

"Okay, but you'll have to call the office. Dad won't let me have my cell phone while I'm grounded."

"And…" Angel prompted Connor to tell her the rest.

"And I can't talk to you on the phone just to visit either. Sorry."

"No, don't be sorry," Julie said. "I understand. I mean I think it's all a little silly, because you're nineteen. You're an adult, Connor. You don't have to do what your father says, you could just move out. But since I know you want to live there with him for now, I'm glad that he's trying to be a better parent. You deserve it."

"Thanks. I guess," Connor said, still unsure if he was happy about this new development or not. "It's going to be a really long week and a half. I hope you'll be able to come see me on Thanksgiving."

"I'm gonna miss you too." Julie said softly.

Angel said, "Okay Connor, time to wrap it up."

Connor glared at his dad and said to Julie, "My dad says I've got to go."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too," Connor said softly.

Angel felt a stab of jealousy at that. It was painful to hear his boy say those words to someone else, when Connor had never said those words to him. As soon as Connor hung up, Angel patted his shoulder and said, "Well it didn't sound like Julie was too upset about the whole thing."

Connor took a step forward, moving away from his dad's touch before he turned back around. He said with irritation, "She said she was happy for me. I don't get it. I thought she'd be… more upset."

"Sounds like I've found the perfect punishment. Julie doesn't hate me, I get to keep a close eye on you for a while, and you're regretting your behavior."

"Julie may not hate you, but I'm getting there." Connor muttered.

Angel smiled. "It's hard to take that statement seriously when you're pouting. Especially since I've heard you say it and mean it."

Connor huffed and crossed his arms. "Fine. I don't like you very much today."

"Now that, I believe." Angel walked over and put an arm around Connor's shoulders, and didn't let him slip out from under his grip. "Come on. You can start the laundry while I tell you about Thanksgiving."

"Great." Connor rolled his eyes, and let his father lead him towards the laundry room.


	29. Chapter 29

How It Should Have Been Chapter 29

The next week passed excruciatingly slowly for Connor. It was difficult for him not to see Julie, and it sucked always seeing his gifts that he couldn't use, but the worst was not going out on cases. It made him itch all over to sit still and wait at the hotel while there was monster killing going on. When the rest of the team went out on a call, Connor was left home with Lorne, who had specific babysitting instructions to not let the kid out of his sight. Connor had broken three punching bags already, and he still had four days left to go. The only thing that kept him sane was thinking about Julie, because she's agreed to have Thanksgiving dinner with them.

The day before Thanksgiving, Angel and the team got a call about a vampire nest on the west side of town. While the team geared up to go, Connor scowled and stormed off to the basement. Lorne patted Angel's shoulder and said, "Hurry back," before following the teen downstairs.

Two hours later, the team arrived home in good spirits. It had been an easy kill, and no one had been injured. The smile fell from Angel's face when he saw Lorne standing at the front counter, but not Connor. He was about to ask Lorne what had happened, when he heard soft sniffling coming from the lobby's bathroom.

While Gunn, Fred and Wesley put the weapons away, Lorne walked up to Angel and said urgently, "Connor's been… well you should go talk to him."

"What happened?" Angel asked. He could hear his son blowing his nose, and moving around in the bathroom.

"You'll have to ask him. I'm calling it an early night." With those words, Lorne headed upstairs.

Concerned, Angel went to the bathroom door and knocked quietly. "Connor?" he called quietly enough that the others wouldn't hear him.

"Be out in a minute." Connor said, trying not to let his voice crack and give away his tears.

Angel leaned up against the doorframe. "You okay? It sounds like you're… upset."

"I just… need a minute. Okay?"

"Okay," Angel agreed, but he was getting more worried by the second. He walked over to Gunn and whispered, "Can you get everyone to clear out of the lobby for a few?"

Gunn raised a quizzical eyebrow, and Angel indicated the bathroom door with his head. "Connor's upset." Understanding, Gunn said in a loud voice, "I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving. There's leftover pizza in the fridge."

Fred of course agreed that she was hungry, and Wesley followed her into the kitchen as well. Once the lobby was empty, Angel walked back to the bathroom door and said, "If you aren't ready to come out, how about you let me in?"

After a long silence, Angel heard Connor unlock the door. He opened it and looked in. Connor had red puffy eyes, and tear tracks on his face. The boy was fully dressed, and sitting on the toilet with the lid closed. Angel went in, closed the door behind him, and knelt down in front of Connor.

"Hey, what's all this about?"

Connor scrubbed a sleeve across his face and shook his head. "It's stupid."

"I'm sure it's not," Angel said, "Not if it's making you cry."

"It's awful to be left behind. I was so close to running off tonight, Dad. You don't even know how hard it was for me to stay here while you guys were out killing vampires. Three different times I had to force myself to sit down so I wouldn't make a run for it. When you guys leave me here, it's like…" Connor's voice broke again, and he looked away.

Feeling guilty, Angel put a hand on Connor's knee and said, "It's like what son?"

"Like I'm not part of the family." Connor made eye contact and whispered quickly, "Like you don't want me around." He turned his head to the door and muttered, "Told you it was stupid."

"No," Angel said softly, "It's not stupid." In one swift move, Angel stood, picked Connor up, sat down in Connor's vacated spot, and set Connor on his lap.

Startled by how fast his position changed, Connor tensed. And when he realized he was on Angel's lap, he squirmed uncomfortably. He hadn't sat on Angel's lap since before Angelus, and even then it had usually been when he was too distraught to care very much. "Dad…"

Angel pushed Connor's head down to rest on his shoulder, and wrapped his arms around his son's shoulders. "Just listen to me for a minute, okay? I never want you to feel rejected, especially by me. I love you, no matter what. I always want you around. I always want you with me in a fight, because I know you've got my back."

More tears slid down Connor's face, but these were tears of relief. He wrapped his arms around his dad's chest.

Squeezing his son a little tighter, Angel said, "I'm sorry, Connor. I try to make the right decisions where you're concerned, but being a parent is new to me, and I make mistakes. I knew being grounded would be difficult for you, that was the point, but I didn't realize it would make you feel excluded."

"It's okay." Connor mumbled while his face was still pressed into Angel's shirt. "There's justice in being forced to stay home, since I'm being punished for not coming home when you told me to."

"I'm not trying to get justice, kiddo. I'm trying to teach you how to be a responsible person. And I must be doing something right, because you stayed here tonight even though it was hard. I'm proud of you for that."

Hearing those words made Connor feel better than he had since they'd gotten the call about the vampires. "Thanks, Dad."

"Tell you what. It's been seven days, and you've done your time without much complaint. So starting tomorrow, you're still grounded for three more days, but you can go on cases with us, and Julie can come to dinner every night if she wants."

Connor sat up straight so he could look at Angel. "Really?"

Angel used a thumb to wipe some of Connor's tears away. "Yeah really."

The boy wiped at his face with his sleeve, and said, "Thank you." Self conscious about sitting on his dad's lap, and embarrassed by his tears, Connor muttered, "Can I get up now?"

"Yeah." Angel stood as well and said, "Why don't you splash some water on your face, and then come have some pizza with everyone."

At the mention of food, Connor realized he was hungry. "Okay."

A few minutes later, Connor sat in the kitchen eating pizza, and listened to his family arguing about the best recipe for stuffing. While they were talking about food, the office phone rang. Angel went to the lobby to answer it.

"Angel Investigations."

"Hi, this is Julie. Is that you Angel?"

"Yep." Angel tensed up, thinking this couldn't be good. "What can I do for you Julie?"

"It turns out I can't come over tomorrow."

"That's a shame." The tension left his shoulders. "Connor has been looking forward to seeing you. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, but my Dad… it's the first big holiday without my Mom, and he's missing her. I am too."

"I understand." He felt bad for her. He sometimes forgot how recently she'd lost her mother.

"Do you think I could tell Connor myself? I mean I know he's grounded, but I'd feel better if I told him myself."

"Of course you can. I'll go get him, and you guys can visit for a while, since you won't be coming to dinner tomorrow."

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

Angel set the phone down, and went to get Connor. He hoped this wouldn't cause a setback after things had been going so well between him and his son. Walking into the kitchen he said, "Connor, Julie's on the phone."

Connor stood. "And I can talk to her?"

"Go ahead." Angel gestured to the door. "For a little while."

The boy rushed out, and Angel made himself a mug of blood.

"Julie?" Connor answered with a smile.

"Hi Connor."

"It's great to hear your voice," he said. "I miss you."

"Me too." Julie took a deep breath and said, "I've got something to tell you, Connor."

Connor's smile faded at her tone. "Okay, go ahead."

"It's about us getting married."

Connor's eyes opened wide, and he stood up straighter. "Okay."

"I've made up my mind. I'll marry you."

Connor sent a silent thanks to God, and said, "That's great news. It's what I want. For all three of us."

"Good, because it has to be tomorrow."

"What?" Connor shook his head.

"Just listen without interrupting for a second okay?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "I've spoken to my father about it, and he's going to help us, but it has to be tomorrow. He'll be here tonight, and he's set everything up for us. All you need to do is meet me at my apartment tomorrow morning at six o'clock with a photo ID and your birth certificate."

"Julie…" Connor looked back towards the kitchen to make sure he was alone, and whispered, "…this is crazy. All of a sudden you've decided to marry me, and now it has to be tomorrow? Why?"

"The baby… she's growing fast Connor. I can feel her moving, and my stomach is getting difficult to hide."

"Do you think you're going to have the baby tomorrow?" he asked, starting to panic.

"No, no of course not. The doctor I saw today said I was about four months along, which means she's growing fast, but steadily. She grows a month per week. If it keeps up like this, she'll be born at the end of December or the beginning of January."

Taking a deep breath, Connor said, "Then we have time. We could get married next week sometime. Your father could come with you to dinner tomorrow, and he could talk to Angel about…"

"No!" she cut him off. "Connor, you can't tell anyone about the baby, or about our plans to get married, until _after_ we're married. I told my father because I knew he'd support me, and because we needed his help. I know getting married is important to you because of your religious beliefs, but getting married requires legal documents, and my father is a lawyer."

Connor felt dizzy when the reality of what she was saying hit him. "But… tomorrow?"

"You're seventeen on paper. That means you need a parent or legal guardian to give their consent before you can get married."

Feeling oddly relieved, Connor said, "Then I'll have to tell Angel."

"No, you won't, because my father has taken care of everything. He knows a judge, and because I'm pregnant, he's going to make an exception. But the only day the judge will be in town is tomorrow."

Not liking the sound of any of this, Connor said, "It doesn't seem right. Going behind Angel's back like that. I want our marriage to be authentic both in the eyes of the Lord and the government. I don't want there to be any loopholes."

There was an uncomfortable silence on the line. "Julie?" Connor said.

In a harsh, emotionless tone, Julie said, "You need to make a choice, Connor. Who do you have a bigger obligation to, your vampire father, or the mother of your child?" Her voice softened. "We created this child together through our love, and I want you by my side when she's born. Please, Connor. Please be here at six o'clock tomorrow."

Before he could answer, she'd hung up on him. He stood there staring at the phone for a few seconds, trying to wrap his mind around everything she'd said.

# # #

Connor lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. He felt more trapped in this moment than he had since his grounding had started. He knew what he had to do, but he dreaded doing it, especially since his dad had been so nice to him earlier when he'd been upset. But he strongly believed that his first obligation was to the mother of his child.

Holtz had often talked to him about what it meant to be a man in the world he hoped to go back to some day, and the biggest responsibility a man had was keeping his wife and children safe. And now that Connor had been in this world for a while, he knew Angel would agree with Holtz on that point. Angel, Gunn, and Wesley were all protective of Fred in a way none of them were protective of each other, and she wasn't even married to one of them, or having a baby.

Glancing at his digital alarm clock, Connor knew it was time to move. He'd need to leave in ten minutes to be at Julie's apartment by six o'clock, and he still needed to get his birth certificate and social security card out of the safe. With a sigh of regret, he stood up, and got his shoes on.

Before leaving his room, he checked the note he'd left for Angel. He'd written eight different drafts of the same letter, trying to make it sound like less of a lie. He still wasn't happy with it, but he couldn't tell him more. Not until after the wedding. He wouldn't let anything stand in the way of that, not even his own conscience.

His footsteps were silent as he crept down the stairs, and into Angel's office. While he opened the safe he wondered if his dad would be changing the combination after this. Angel had only given him the combination because they were about to bring out Angelus. Feeling guilty, he grabbed his paperwork, shut the safe quietly, and walked out the front door into the early light of dawn.

Ten minutes later he was knocking on Julie's apartment door. He frowned when he heard footsteps that were too loud to be Julie's. A middle aged man opened the door with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, and Connor realized this was most likely Julie's father. The man had dark brown hair, and piercing blue eyes that pinned Connor to the spot.

The man held out his hand to shake and said, "You must be Connor. I'm Nathan, Julie's dad."

Connor shook the offered hand firmly, the way Wesley had taught him. "Nice to meet you Sir."

"Call me Nathan," he said, and gestured for Connor to come in.

Connor scanned the apartment for Julie's heartbeat, and didn't hear it. "Where's Julie?"

"At the church. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. We'll meet her there as soon as you get dressed."

Connor looked down at his jeans and long sleeved tee shirt, and then noticed that Nathan was wearing a dark gray suit with a white shirt, and a maroon vest. "Oh..." Connor said, not sure why he hadn't thought to wear something nice. Not that he had anything as fancy as what Nathan was wearing, but he did have some button down shirts, and one pair of black slacks that Fred had bought him, but he'd never worn.

"Come on," Nathan said, gesturing for Connor to follow him into the bedroom. "Let's hope Julie got your size right."

A suit that matched Nathan's was laid out on Julie's bed. Connor ran his fingers over the vest and said, "She bought this for me?"

"I rented them for the day. After the ceremony I'll take them back. Julie wanted me to rent her dress too, but I talked her into letting me buy it for her. Go ahead and try it on. I'll wait for you in the living room."

Connor stood staring at the clothes for a few seconds, while the reality of the situation hit him. He was getting married. He was getting married, and his family wasn't going to be there to see it. He started getting undressed, and tried telling himself that he was doing the right thing.

The clothes fit him perfectly. When he went to the living room, Nathan gave him a nod. "Okay, let's head to the church."

Feeling as if he were in a dream instead of awake, Connor followed the older man out the door, and got into his car.

While Nathan drove, he said, "It's my understanding that your father probably won't approve of this union. Is that correct?"

"I guess." Connor was quick to add, "It's not that he doesn't like Julie, it's that he would think I'm too young. But I'm not."

There was a long awkward silence before Nathan said, "The fact that you're willing to do what Julie wants, even if it means going behind your father's back, tells me that you're in love, and that you take your responsibility towards my daughter seriously. I have hope that this will be a good union."

Sitting up a little straighter in his chair, Connor said, "Thank you."

Fifteen minutes later the two were walking up the steps of a little white church. The front doors opened for them before they reached them. A plump older woman with graying hair and a kind smile gestured for them to come in.

"There you are," she said. "We've been waiting for you. The bride is anxious to get things started."

Connor walked into the church, and immediately felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. The tiny church was packed. The pews were completely full with people sitting so close they were touching. Connor took a step back, but Nathan put his hand on Connor's shoulder and held him in place.

"Who are all these people?" Connor whispered urgently as he scanned the crowd. They were all adults, and from what Connor could tell, they were all human. His hands balled into fists when he noticed they were all staring, and smiling at him as if they knew who he was.

Nathan patted his shoulder and said, "You're among friends here Connor. These are my friends and family."

He tried to take another step back, but Nathan's grip became tighter. "If you run out on my daughter now, I'll make sure you never see her or the baby again."

Shocked to hear those words coming out of the older man's mouth, Connor looked up at Nathan. Nathan smiled at him and said, "Don't worry son. Everyone gets cold feet. Come on, I'll introduce you to the pastor, and the judge, and then we'll get this ceremony started."

Connor let himself be led up the isle. The pastor stood at the front waiting. He was an older man with graying hair who wore a solemn expression. Connor noticed the woman who had let them in was now sitting at the piano, still grinning at him as if he were there to give her a million dollars.

Nathan held out his hand to the pastor and said, "Adrian."

Adrian shook, and said, "Greetings on this joyous occasion, Nathan."

Nathan put a hand on Connor's back, and pushed him forward a step. "This is Connor Steven Smith. The father of my daughter's child."

Connor blushed with shame. In Connor's mind it was a major sin for Julie to be pregnant before they were married, and here he was standing in front of a man of God. Connor didn't even realize a woman could get pregnant before they were married until recently. It was still difficult for him to connect sex and pregnancy in his mind, because he'd been told so often that God decided when a married woman would get pregnant.

"It's nice to finally meet you Connor." Adrian held out his hand.

Connor shook it and mumbled, "It's nice to meet you too, Sir."

Adrian gripped Connor's shoulder and said, "Are you prepared for this obligation son?"

Connor looked him in the eye and said with confidence, "Yes Sir."

"Good."

Nathan gestured to the first pew and said, "Connor, this is Judge Rhodes. He'll be filing the paperwork to make it all legal."

Judge Rhodes was a short man in his early thirties. His short cropped black hair looked almost plastic it was so perfect, and his teeth were so white, Connor wondered if they were real. The man nodded in Connor's direction as a way of greeting, and Connor nodded back.

Adrian cleared his throat to get Connor's attention, and said, "You stand here and face the audience." Once Connor was in place, Adrian nodded to the woman sitting at the piano. She started to play, and Nathan walked back down the isle.

A few seconds later a young woman Connor didn't recognize walked up the isle in a maroon dress. As soon as she was standing on the opposite side of Adrian, the music changed. Nathan walked into the isle with Julie on his arm.

Connor's eyes opened wide when he saw how different she looked. Her orange hair was intricately braided with tiny white flowers stuck in the braids. She wore a floor length white dress covered in lace, with a maroon sash right under her breasts, which accentuated the tiny bump of her belly. She held a bouquet of white roses and maroon carnations.

As they walked up the isle, Julie smiled at Connor, and he found himself smiling back even though the whole situation was putting him on edge. When she got to the front of the isle, the music stopped. Adrian cleared his throat and said to the silent room. "Who gives this woman to be bound?"

"I do," Nathan answered. He kissed Julie's cheek, and let her go. Nathan went to stand behind Connor, and Juile went to stand next to Connor in front of the woman in the maroon dress.

Adrian said, "Face each other and hold hands."

Julie handed her bouquet to her bridesmaid, and grasped Connor's waiting hands.

Adrian opened a bible, and looked out into the crowd. "We are gathered here today in the eyes of Our Lord to celebrate the marriage of Connor Steven Smith and Julie Nicole Overton. Today you've come before me as individuals, but you will leave here as husband and wife. The promises you make today will cement your union, binding together not two lives, but three. Today we witness the beginning of a new era."

"Connor," Adrian said, "do you have a token of your commitment to give Julie?"

At a loss, Connor shook his head no. Nathan stepped up from behind him and handed him a wristband. It was exactly like the one Julie had given to Connor last week for his birthday, except hers had a triquetra on the pendant. Connor looked back at Nathan, who gestured for him to face forward again.

Adrian continued as if Connor wasn't baffled. "Tie it onto her left wrist, and repeat after me. With this token, I pledge my life to you."

Julie held out her wrist for him. Connor tied it on with shaky hands, and said, "With this token, I pledge my life to you."

"Julie," Adrian said, "do you have a token of your commitment to give Connor?"

Julie took Connor's right hand in hers, and untied the wristband she'd given him. She held it up for Adrian to see.

"Tie it onto his left wrist, and repeat after me. With this token, I pledge my life to you."

Julie tied it on and repeated the line.

"Now clasp your left hands together in front of me."

Once Connor and Julie were holding their left hands together, Adrian walked over to the podium and opened a box. He took out a length of brownish maroon rope, and went back to the couple. He held the rope up for everyone to see and said, "No other human ties are more important, and no other vows are more sacred than those of marriage. Remember in the days to come, if difficulty and fear come into your relationship, you must focus on the things that are right between you, and not on the things that are wrong."

Adrian tied one end of the rope directly on top of Connor's wristband. Connor could smell old blood on the rope, and knew the rope's color didn't come from any dye. He frowned and said, "Why is there blood?"

Adrian frowned at the young man and said with quiet authority, "It's traditional. The blood represents the sacrifices made to get to this point."

Connor didn't understand that, but didn't ask anymore questions, because it seemed to upset the pastor.

Once the rope was tied on Connor, Adrian held the other end and said, "Do you Connor, take Julie, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Yes," Connor said.

Julie smirked and whispered, "You're supposed to say 'I do.'"

"I do," Connor said smiling at her smirk.

Adrian looped the rope around their hands once. "Do you Julie, take Connor, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," she said sincerely.

Adrian looped the rope a second time. "Do you Connor, promise to love Julie in sickness and health, in good times and bad, until death do you part?"

"I do." Connor said firmly.

He looped the rope a third time. "Do you Julie, promise to love Connor in sickness and health, in good times and bad, until death do you part?"

"I do." Julie said.

He looped the rope a fourth time. "Do you Connor promise to protect Julie from all those who might do her harm?"

"I do."

He looped the rope a fifth time. "Do you Julie promise to accept Connor's protection both for yourself, and for your unborn child?"

"I do."

He looped the rope a sixth time and tied the end of it on top of Julie's wristband. He looked to the crowd and said, "And so the binding is completed."

Adrian put a hand on top of their bound hands and bowed his head. "Let us say a prayer."

Connor bowed his head, and Adrian started speaking in a language Connor didn't understand. But he'd heard Fred and Wesley say things in Latin often enough to know that's what language it was.

Once the prayer was completed, Adrian let go of the bound hands, and said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Before Connor could react, Julie stood on her toes and lifted her lips up to meet Connor's in a short chaste kiss.

The church erupted with cheers and clapping, startling Connor. Adrian put a hand on both of the young people's shoulders and said, "Your hands must stay bound until I remove the rope. For now, let us speak with Judge Rhodes and fill out some paperwork."

While the couple filled out a marriage license with the judge, Adrian addressed the crowd. "Nathan would like to invite you all to join the happy couple downstairs in the banquet room for a celebration of their new bond."

People started shuffling out of the room, and the room was mostly empty by the time Connor and Julie were done filling out paperwork. Judge Rhodes gathered up the papers and said, "I'll file these immediately."

"Thank you," Nathan said, and shook the judge's hand.

While Judge Rhodes walked out, Adrian turned to Nathan and said, "Go see to the celebration. We'll be along shortly." Nathan nodded to the older man, and gave Julie a kiss on the cheek before walking out himself, and shutting the doors behind him.

When Connor, Julie, and Adrian were all alone in the church, Adrian put his hand over their bound hands and said, "You must consummate the marriage immediately, before the binding is removed." He gestured to a door to the left of the stage. "A room has been set up for you. Once that's done, I'll say another prayer, and remove the rope. Then we can join everyone at your celebration downstairs."

"What does consummate mean?" Connor asked.

"I'll show you," Julie said. She tugged at their bound hands to get him to move with her.

The tiny room was about the size of a walk in closet, and the only item in the room was a twin sized bed. Julie shut the door behind them, and led Connor to the bed. She pushed him gently to sit on the edge, and started kissing him.

Calmer now that the ceremony was over, and it was just the two of them, Connor let himself relax enough to kiss her back. As they kissed, the reality of the situation hit him. He was kissing his wife. He'd hoped and dreamed of this moment for years, and since he'd met Julie, those hopes and dreams had been focused solely on her.

Julie pulled her mouth away long enough to climb onto his lap, with her legs straddling his. She whispered in his ear, "Consummate means to complete or fulfill something. A marriage is complete once the couple has sex."

"Here?" Connor asked with surprise. "Now?" He lifted their bound hands and added, "Like this?"

"Yes." She kissed one side of his neck. "Yes." She kissed the other side of his neck. "And yes." She kissed him on the mouth, and pushed him back down onto the bed.

He felt her free hand reach down and undo the button on his slacks. Connor didn't need to be asked twice, and started fumbling to untie the sash on the back of her dress with one hand.

Twenty minutes later, they came out of the room together with their clothes slightly askew. Adrian said the prayer, and took the rope off of the happy couple.

# # #

At ten in the morning, Angel woke up. He wandered into the kitchen, and found Fred, and Wesley at the kitchen table eating breakfast together. Angel mumbled, "Morning," and got himself a mug of blood. "Where is everyone?"

"Sleeping in?" Fred suggested.

Angel sat next to them and listened to them talk about a dimensional theory with half an ear. Fifteen minutes later, Gunn came in to join them, and ten minutes after that Lorne arrived too. It was strange for Connor to sleep in this long, and Angel kept looking at the kitchen door, expecting him to come through.

Gunn noticed and said, "Just go get him."

"He was pretty upset last night when he found out Julie wasn't coming."

"He'll get over it," Gunn said, "and if he's up there pouting, it will be better if you bring him down."

Angel sighed, put his mug in the sink, and went to get Connor. He raised a hand to knock on Connor's bedroom door, but froze before his knuckles connected with the wood. There was no heartbeat in the room. He opened the door without knocking, and cursed when he saw the empty bed. Even though he knew it was useless, he checked the bathroom. He scanned the bedroom, and found a note sitting on Connor's desk. It read:

Dad,

I needed to go out. I'll be back before nightfall.

I'm sorry,

Connor

"What?" Angel muttered. He didn't understand what had happened. He'd thought things were good between him and his son the past few days.

He turned the letter over, looking for something more, but found nothing. He scanned the desk area, and noticed the garbage had some crumpled up paper in it. He dug out the paper balls, and flattened them on the desk to read them. He found they were all variations of the same information. Connor had to leave for the day, he'd be back before dark, and he was sorry about it. None of them said where he was going, or why he had to go.

Angel grabbed all the letters and stormed back down to the kitchen. He slapped the papers onto the kitchen table, and said, "He's gone."

"Gone?" Gunn asked as he picked up a letter. Everyone picked up a version of the letter to look over. Once Gunn had scanned his he said, "I don't get it. Is this about Julie not coming for dinner?"

Angel paced and said, "I have no idea. I thought he was fine. He was upset that Julie couldn't come, yes, but that shouldn't have made him take off like this."

Fred had finished a second letter, and picked up a third. "His wording is interesting. He says he _has_ to go and he says he _needs_ to go. He never says he _wants_ to go."

Wesley was also reading multiple versions and nodded in agreement. "And he's very apologetic about it too. As if he doesn't want to leave, but feels..."

"Obligated," Fred finished the sentence for him.

Lorne sipped his Bloody Mary, and said, "You let him talk to Julie alone. Who knows what she said to him."

Gunn shook his head, "But you know what he didn't do? Confide in any of us. I'm sure Julie did talk him into something, but Connor should know better than to run off and do what she says without telling one of us about it. Especially after being grounded for a week after she manipulated him into staying with her for the night instead of coming home."

Angel sat at the table and put his head in his hands. "You're right."

"If you don't spank him for this, I will." Gunn said with conviction, not caring how angry Angel got about it.

"You'll have to wait your turn," Angel said. He was angry enough in this moment to do it no matter what kind of complaints Connor put up.

Gunn nodded, thinking it was about time that Angel to got back on track. "You want us to go look for him, or wait for him to come home?" Gunn asked.

Angel sighed. "I don't want to wreck Thanksgiving for anyone, but I'd be grateful if any of you had a spare hour to go check Julie's apartment. If he's not there, we'll just wait for him to come home."

Gunn patted Angel's shoulder and said, "I'll go look right now. I'll call you when I get there to let you know what I find."

"Thank you."

Fifteen minutes later, Gunn called to let them know Connor and Julie were nowhere to be found.

# # #

By eleven o'clock, Connor and Julie had eaten some brunch, fed each other cake, and made it through an awkward first dance. By noon the banquet room was thinning out, and guests were congratulating the couple as they left.

Julie noticed Connor watching the clock, and squeezed his hand. She whispered, "Are you ready to get out of here?"

"Yes. I mean, if that's okay. I'm not used to so many people for so long."

"It's fine. Stay here." Julie walked across the room to talk to her father. Nathan handed her his car keys, and gave her a quick kiss.

Minutes later, Connor was driving them back to Julie's apartment. Julie rested her head against his shoulder, and said, "We've got a few hours before it's dark. After we've changed clothes, do you want to do something fun together?"

"Sure. What do you want to do?"

"We could drive out to the ocean and take a walk along the water."

"Okay." All his memories of the ocean were negative. It would be nice to have a positive one.

Half an hour later, they were in regular clothes and walking along the beach hand in hand. Even in November, the LA weather wasn't too cold. Julie took her shoes and socks off, and Connor followed suit.

"Oh," he said, as he felt the sand on his feet. He wiggled his toes, and smiled.

She grabbed his hand and said, 'Come on. Let's get our feet wet." The two wandered down the beach along the waterline looking for shells, and enjoying the sun for the next hour.

Looking up at where the sun was in the sky, Connor said, "We should head back, or we won't make it to the hotel before it gets dark."

"We?"

He frowned. "Yes..."

"Connor, I can't go back to the hotel with you."

"What do you mean you can't? Of course you can. We're married now. There's nothing anyone can do to change that, not even Angel."

She shook her head. "No, Connor, Angel can't know."

"We can't keep it from him forever, Julie," He said, frustrated that she wasn't planning to come home with him.

She put a hand over the swell of her belly. "Not forever. Just until the baby is born."

"I can't wait that long! I want to be living with you every day. I don't want to come visit you at your apartment every couple of days. How am I supposed to keep my vow of protecting you if you aren't even living with me."

"Do you want to come away with me?" she asked. "We could go anywhere in the world that you want to go. I'll be happy to live with you if we get our own apartment in another city where Angel can't find us."

Connor shook his head. "You know that's not what I want. If we did that, my dad would come looking for us, and he _would_ eventually find us, no matter where we went. And he'd be pissed. Seriously pissed."

"I want to live with you, Connor. Honestly I do, but the baby's welfare has to come first."

"Angel would never hurt a baby, especially his own grandchild!"

"You can't know that for certain. The baby won't feel safe at the hotel. She won't go."

Getting more and more frustrated with the conversation, Connor yelled, "The baby doesn't get a say in where we live! You're supposed to accept my protection!"

Julie put a hand on the side of Connor's face and said, "I do accept your protection. We're married now. Bound together for life. We're going to have many happy years together. I don't understand why you can't wait for four more weeks until she's ready to be born."

He didn't want to wait, but found it difficult to disagree about waiting without sounding like a petulant child. He didn't like it, but he _could_ wait a few weeks before they started living together.

"Fine, you don't have to live in the hotel with me, but we are going to tell Angel that we're married. I refuse to keep it from him any longer. Maybe he'll let me live with you for four weeks."

Julie's eyes rolled back in her head, and she fell towards the ground. Connor barely reacted quickly enough to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Julie?" he said with fear. He knelt down and held her upper body against his. When she didn't respond, he said loudly, "Julie!" He could see her breathing, and he could hear both her heartbeat, and the baby's rapid heartbeat too. "Julie, what's wrong?" He brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek.

Her eyes fluttered open and shut once.

"Julie?" he said, gently picking her up, and carrying her towards the car.

"Connor?" she asked when her eyes opened again. "What happened?"

"I don't know. We were talking, and you just fell. You were unconscious for a few seconds."

"I fainted?" she mumbled to herself, and put a hand on her stomach. "Did I land on my belly?"

"I caught you before you landed."

"Thank you." She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight.

He quickened his pace across the sand, wanting to get her into the car as quickly as possible. "Why did you faint? Are you sick? Should I take you to a doctor?"

She shook her head on his shoulder. "I'm not sick. I've always been prone to fainting. When I'm scared or anxious about something I faint. I fainted when Angelus got loose. The first time it happened, I was twelve and my parents were arguing about money. They took me to see a doctor about it. She prescribed some medication to help calm me down, but I didn't like the way it made me feel, so I stopped taking it."

Connor held her tight, and kissed the top of her head. Feeling guilty he said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brushed aside your feelings like that. If the thought of me telling Angel that we're married is that frightening to you, then I won't tell him. I can wait. I don't want to, but what I want isn't as important as what you need. And for the next four weeks, what you need is to be free of fear or anxiety."

"Connor, put me down."

Frowning, he looked into the distance, trying to see the car. "Are you sure you won't faint again?"

"I'm sure, but if it makes you feel better, you can pick me up again in a minute."

He set her on her feet.

She smiled at him and said, "I thought you might want to feel her kicking." She took his hand in hers, and put it on her belly.

He could feel the small being shifting around under Julie's skin and simply smiled at her in wonder.

Once the baby settled, Julie said, "I'm fine to walk, but you can carry me if you want."

Connor picked her back up, and started walking towards the car, wondering what the hell he was going to tell Angel when he got home, since he couldn't tell him the truth.

# # #

Thanksgiving dinner wasn't a festive occasion at the hotel. Gunn bristled every time Fred and Wesley smiled at each other or touched. Lorne drank more than usual, and merrily told stories of his family back in Pylea, which had everyone squirming. Fred surprised Angel with some Turkey blood, and he accepted it with painfully obvious false cheer.

The instant the humans were done eating, Angel went to the lobby and paced like a caged animal, watching the clock and the lobby doors. If Connor wasn't home the instant the sun went under the horizon, Angel was going to go looking.

Once the table was cleared off, and the dishes were done, Lorne went upstairs to bed. Wesley and Fred had a quiet conversation, and decided neither one of them wanted to be around to see the upcoming confrontation when Connor got home. They told Angel they were going for a drive and left.

Gunn scowled at them as they left, and sat on the lobby's round couch to wait with Angel. He wanted to be there to support Angel, and show a united front to Connor, but he was also worried about what the kid had been up to, and needed to know he was home safe before he could do anything else.

Connor trudged home after dropping off Julie at her apartment, and making sure she was settled. The guilt he'd felt about having the wedding without his family had turned into regret and sorrow. He didn't just feel bad for his family, he felt bad for himself. He didn't realize it at the time, but now he knew he'd cheated himself out of sharing that moment with his family.

Less than fifteen minutes before the sun set, Angel and Gunn both saw Connor coming up the walkway to the lobby doors. His head was down, his shoulders were slumped, and his feet were moving slowly.

Connor looked up as he put a hand on the lobby doors, and saw both Angel and Gunn waiting for him with matching angry glares. His hand dropped from the door, and he took a few steps back before he'd even had a chance to think about what he was doing.

Gunn stood and crossed his arms, clearly unimpressed. Angel locked eyes with his son, pointed to the spot directly in front of him, and said with icy calm, "Come here right now."

In a panic, Connor shook his head, and backed up a few more steps. He had no idea what he was going to tell them. No matter what he said, his father would know he was lying, but he'd promised not to tell them the truth.

"Gunn." Angel said, without taking his eyes off Connor's.

Without having to ask what it was Angel wanted, Gunn walked purposely towards the lobby doors.

Connor's eyes darted to Gunn, and he shook his head again.

Gunn opened the door and walked into the fading sunlight. He headed straight for the boy and reached a hand out to grab him, but Connor scrambled backwards a few more feet to avoid the larger man.

Gunn stood still with effort and hissed, "Stop that right now. There's no avoiding this."

They maintained eye contact for less than a second before Connor hung his head in defeat. Gunn took the two steps that separated them, took Connor's upper arm in one hand, and swatted him five times with the other as hard as he could. Gunn knew the full force swats wouldn't be truly painful for the kid, but they would let Connor know just how disappointed he was.

Having expected it, Connor didn't make a sound at the swats, but his face turned bright red with shame and embarrassment.

Gunn let him go and said loudly, "Get your ass inside."

Connor quickly walked through the lobby doors, and down the stairs, with Gunn following at his heels. Connor stopped just outside of Angel's reach.

Father and son looked at each other for a moment, and when Connor opened his mouth to apologize, Angel held up a hand and barked, "Stop!"

Angel leaned towards the boy and sniffed the air. He glared at his son and said, "I don't want to hear it. I know all I need to know." He stepped forward, put a hand on Connor's shoulder, and looked into the boy's eyes. Disappointment laced Angel's voice as he said, "The smell of Julie and the beach is all over you son. Don't even try to deny it."

Realizing how irresponsible and childish that must seem to Angel, Connor opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. He couldn't tell them why he'd really left, and maybe it would all be easier if Angel made his own assumptions about what had happened. The boy looked away and said, "I won't deny it. I was at the beach with Julie."

"Why?" Gunn asked.

Connor shrugged and kept his eyes on the ground.

Angel's hand moved from Connor's shoulder to his upper arm. He towed the boy towards the round couch, and said, "Gunn asked you a question. Shrugging is not an answer." Angel sat, and yanked his son face down across his lap.

Connor landed with a startled gasp at the sudden change of position. "Nooo!" he yelled.

Angel swatted the squirming boy twice and said, "Answer Gunn."

The shame of being across Angel's lap again was bad enough, but having Gunn as a witness, and being in the middle of the lobby was utterly humiliating. "I had to!"

"Why did you have to?" Gunn asked.

"I can't tell you!" Connor shouted.

Angel reached under the boy, unsnapped the button of his jeans, and shoved both the jeans and underwear down to Connor's knees with one swipe.

"Not like this!" Connor yelled, as he was bared. He pushed to get up, but Angel held him easily. "Not in the lobby!"

"You listen to me little boy. You made Thanksgiving uncomfortable for everyone by running off again, so I see no reason why you shouldn't be uncomfortable right now." Even though Angel didn't say it, having Gunn there to back him up helped him not to dwell on Angelus' claim that Angel got off on spanking his son. He knew that if Gunn thought for one second that Angel was enjoying this, he would find a way to stop him. With that thought in mind, Angel laid down two more sharp smacks.

"Ow!" Connor yelled, and worked harder at trying to get himself up. "I thought you said you couldn't do this anymore!"

Now that he'd started, Angel didn't find it nearly as impossible as he'd thought he would. He spanked the naked butt over his lap twice more and said, "You haven't left me much of an option! Sneaking out of the house while you're grounded to spend the day at the beach with your girlfriend is completely unacceptable Connor!"

"I know!" He answered.

"So tell us why you did it!" Angel yelled.

"I can't!" he yelled back.

Shaking his head in disappointment, Angel said, "If that's the way you want it, fine." Angel raised his hand higher than before, and started spanking hard and fast, peppering every inch of Connor's butt and upper thighs with handprints.

Suddenly remembering just how painful this experience was, Connor grunted and yelped through the first twenty swats. He tried to think of something to say that would help get him up off Angel's lap, but nothing came to mind. He doubted even the truth would accomplish that.

Angel paused and said, "You broke three rules today. Wanna tell me what they were?"

"Three?" Connor asked nervously as he squirmed to relieve some of the sting. "I only broke one! Running off for the day."

Shaking his head Angel said, "What about disobedience and lying?"

Connor craned his neck back to look at Angel and said, "Lying? I haven't lied!"

Angel raised an eyebrow, and then looked at Gunn to gage his reaction. Gunn was scowling, and shaking his head. Angel looked back at the boy across his lap and said; "Tell us why you left today."

Connor kicked the toe of his tennis shoe onto the floor in frustration and turned his head back to the front. "I can't tell you! That's not a lie!"

"Really? You're physically incapable of telling us what you did today?" Angel asked.

"No!" Connor said, "That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"So what you really mean is that you refuse to tell us."

The boy thought about that for a second, and then hung his head in defeat. "Yes," he muttered to the floor in front of him.

"Gunn," Angel said, "could you please go get the silver hairbrush off my dresser?"

"Nooooo!" Connor whined.

"Sure." Gunn said, and headed towards the basement. He'd used the brush on Connor himself, and knew exactly where Angel kept it.

Angel rested his spanking hand on Connor's thigh and said, "My guess is, you won't tell me what you've been up to, because you've been doing something you know I wouldn't approve of."

Connor shook his head. "No, it's just that I promised I wouldn't tell. I didn't do anything you… wouldn't approve of." Even to his own ears that sounded untrue.

"Wow," Angel said, "That's a bald-faced lie if I ever heard one."

"Fuck." Connor muttered to himself.

"So you were out doing something that you knew I wouldn't approve of, and now you refuse to tell me about it. Does that about sum it up, Connor?"

"It's not like I did something horrible!" Connor said, trying to plead his case without giving out any actual information. "I didn't go hunt by myself! I didn't put myself in danger, and I didn't put anyone else in danger! Just because you wouldn't approve, doesn't make it wrong or bad!"

"How am I supposed to trust your judgement about any of that after today?" Angel asked.

Before Connor could formulate an answer, Gunn came back into the lobby, and handed the brush over to Angel.

"Thanks." Angel said, before turning his attention to Connor. "The first thing we're going to go over is doing what you're told." He started spanking his son with the brush and talked while he spanked. "I grounded you because I thought you were mature enough for that kind of a punishment, but apparently I was wrong. You got grounded for staying with Julie after I told you to come home, and here you are in trouble for almost exactly the same thing, except this time you were grounded when you did it. I told you to stay home, and you deliberately disobeyed me to go see her."

The boy grunted in pain with the first harsh swat, and groaned at the lecture. He had to bite his lip to keep from yelping as the smacks continued. By the time his dad had given him twenty, Connor was breathing hard and his whole body was twitching with each smack in an effort to stay still.

Angel stopped for a moment and said, "The next thing we're going over is running off. We've talked about…"

"That's what you just spanked me for!" Connor interrupted.

"No it isn't." Angel said with calm. "I just spanked you for leaving the hotel while you were grounded. Now I'm going to spank you for not telling anyone where you were going. We've gone over this more than once, and frankly I'm tired of it."

Angel started spanking even harder than before.

"Ooooow!" Connor yelped with each new smack, unable to keep his pain to himself any longer.

Angel spoke up to be heard over the smacks and yelping. "You don't get to take off all day without letting one of us know where you're going. None of us would do that to you. How would you feel if you woke up and everyone was gone?

"I'd… Ouch! I'd hate that!"

Angel said, "The note was better than nothing, but I still worried about you the whole day."

"I'm sorry!" Connor yelled. "I'm really… Ah! …sorry! I left the note… Ow! …so you wouldn't worry!"

Angel ended that round of twenty with two smacks to each of Connor's sit spots. When his dad paused, Connor slumped down across his lap, glad to have a moment's reprieve.

"Last one. Let's talk about purposely not telling me something because you know I won't approve. That's not a straight lie, but it is deceitful. So we're adding a new rule. No more deceitfulness."

Connor's eyes stung, and his throat felt tight. He hated the word deceit. Holtz would often call him 'deceitful child' while whipping him. And he couldn't exactly blame Angel for thinking the same thing, because he knew it was true.

Angel continued the lecture. "Believe me when I tell you I'll be a lot more understanding, if you come to me with something, than I will be if I find out about it after the fact. And I'll go a lot easier on you with any punishment if you come to me first, too. Taking that into consideration, do you want to tell me what you were up to today?"

Connor loathed hiding everything about Julie from his family. But Julie's wants, needs, and wellbeing came above his own, so no matter how much he wanted to confess, he wouldn't. Connor shook his head, and tried to keep his voice steady, but that was nearly impossible because the tears had started falling. "I'm sorry, Angel. I promised not to tell. I wish I hadn't, but I did. Even if you whip me until I bleed, the way father would have, I won't tell you."

Angel's eyebrows went up in shock. The conviction in Connor's voice didn't surprise him, but hearing his son call him 'Angel', and Holtz 'father', in the same breath made him realize something was wrong. More often than not Connor called him 'Dad' now, and he almost never referred to Holtz as 'father' anymore.

Angel set the brush down, and said quietly, "Hey, where's that coming from? I'll never whip you the way Holtz did, Connor. I've told you that."

Shifting over Angel's lap, Connor said softly, "I know. It's just…" his voice went to a whisper, "…father always said I was a deceitful child, even when I wasn't. But today, with you, I really was, so I'd deserve it. I'm sorry."

Gunn spoke before Angel could formulate a response. "How about we change that rule?" Gunn waited for Angel to look at him, and once he had a nod of approval from the older man, Gunn said, "The rule could be; trust your family enough to confide in us."

Smiling gratefully at Gunn, Angel said, "That's a much better rule, thanks Gunn." He looked at the back of Connor's head and said, "Isn't trust what we've been working on since you got here, son?"

"Yeah." Connor wiped at his tears with the back of his hand.

"And I think we've come a long way since then, don't you?"

"I guess."

"Holtz was wrong, you're not deceitful. You're an honest person who had a small lapse in judgement."

Blushing with shame, Connor muttered, "Don't say that, Dad. You don't know what I did."

"True," Angel agreed. "Okay then, this last part is for not trusting any of us enough to confide in us today."

Connor nodded in acceptance.

Using his hand, Angel started spanking again, aiming most of the spanks on the crease where butt met thigh.

Connor's tears started up again with the first swat, but they were about much more than the pain. They were about disappointing his new family, after they had been so much kinder to him than Holtz had ever been.

Well before Angel was done with the twenty, Connor put a hand back to block the blows. The older man didn't even have to pause while spanking. He grabbed Connor's wrist, pulled the hand away, and held it at the boy's lower back.

"Please, Dad! Please stop! I'm sorry!"

"Eight more." Angel said, and brought his hand down again.

Connor whimpered and yelped through the last eight.

When Angel was done, he let go of Connor's hand, and pulled the kid's underwear back into place, quickly followed by his pants.

Connor knew he should have felt better now that he was dressed again, because the punishment was over, but he only felt worse. He couldn't stop his tears, and even started crying harder. He felt himself being flipped over so he was sitting on Angel's lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around Angel and clung to him while he cried.

Angel and Gunn exchanged a worried look, and Gunn came over to sit down on the couch next to them. He put a hand on Connor's knee and said, "I don't know how Julie fits into you being gone all day at the beach, but if she's asking you to do things that you know aren't right, you should be telling her no."

Angel nodded and rubbed Connor's back. "Gunn's right. I know you love Julie, but if she loves you too, then why is she manipulating you into doing things I wouldn't approve of?"

The boy's only response was a shake of his head.

The three men sat quietly together for a few minutes, until Connor had his tears under control. He awkwardly eased up on the death grip he had on his dad, and wiped his face with the cuff of his long sleeved tee shirt.

Angel patted his son's back once, and said, "You're still grounded for three more days, and no today doesn't count as part of that because you weren't here. And since you won't tell me what you did today, I can't trust you to be alone. So for the next three days, you're going to have to be with one of us all the time."

Too ashamed to make eye contact, Connor nodded to the floor, and pushed to get up.

Angel held him where he was and said, "And the last time we talked I said Julie could come to dinner while you were grounded, but after today I've changed my mind about that."

"Okay." Connor hated the idea of not seeing her, but he knew she wouldn't be coming over to the hotel anyway now that her belly was too big to hide.

Angel didn't say anything at this point, but once the three days were up, he planned to have a long talk with his son about when he could and couldn't see Julie. For now he helped Connor stand. The kid looked exhausted, and Angel doubted that was all because of the spanking. He put a hand on Connor's shoulder and said, "What time did you get up today?"

"Five thirty. I couldn't sleep."

Angel turned to Gunn. "Could you go upstairs with Connor and keep an eye on him while he gets ready for bed?"

"Sure." Gunn said, and stood as well.

"Bed?" Connor asked. "It's barely dark out."

"And you're so tired you can hardly stand," Angel said. "You can sleep in my bed tonight."

"Your bed?" Connor wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Rolling his eyes, Angel said, "It's a king. There's plenty of room, and I'm tired too. I don't feel like sitting in a chair by your bed all night just so I can keep you from running away. I'm a light sleeper. I'll wake up if you try to leave the room." He gestured to the stairs with a tilt of his head. "Go on. Come back down when you're done."

Twenty minutes later, Connor was lying on the left side of Angel's bed, and Angel was sitting up against the headboard on the right side reading a book.

"Dad?" Connor asked tentatively.

"Hmm?" Angel didn't take his eyes off his book.

"You were with Darla for a long time right?"

Angel set the book down and looked over at his son. "I was Angelus at the time, but yes."

"Did you love her?"

"Most of the time."

Connor propped his head up with his hand. "How did you know."

Angel gave that some serious thought, suspecting Connor's thoughts were currently more about Julie than his mother. "I was happier with her than I was by myself. I loved making her smile." Angel didn't mention that making her smile often meant killing innocent people.

Connor lay back down and thought about that.

Angel turned off his lamp, and lay down too. He said, "A couple of years ago, thanks to Wolfram and Hart, I met Darla as a human with a soul. Do you want me to tell you what she was like then?"

Pushing his own thoughts of Julie aside, Connor said, "I'd like that."

Angel put his hands behind his head, and started talking. Before the story was half over, he heard Connor's breathing even out in sleep. Smiling softly, Angel closed his eyes, and let himself drift off to sleep, too.


End file.
